i’ve been hearing
that question
a lot.
so…
for those of you
who don’t know
here goes…
5 weeks of bedrest.
(2 at home, 3 in the hospital).
liz had low amniotic fluid.
baby had her cord around her neck.
baby’s heart rate dropped
(multiple times).
liz almost delivered
(multiple times).
the day finally came
(3/24).
madeline was born via c-section.
everyone was happy
and healthy.
liz was told
to hang out in bed
for another 24 hours
and then she was going to
see madeline.
she waited patiently
hearing stories
and seeing photos
of me
feeding and changing
madeline’s diapers.
(she was soooo jealous and i teased her mercilessly that i was 1, 2, 3 diapers ahead of her and that she had to catch up).
24 hours came
and she got ready
to lay her hands
on madeline
for the very
first
time.
she got up from bed
(with the help of some nurses and me).
we joked about her new-found independence.
i told her that she
had to start waiting on me
because i’d been waiting on her
for 5 weeks.
she laughed,
and said,
“of course.”
she walked to the mirror
and said,
“my hair looks like shit.”
we all laughed
(because her hair looked great, especially for someone who’d been on bed rest for 5 weeks).
the nurse said,
“are you ready to go?”
she said,
“yes.”
her excitement
was overflowing.
she turned around
to sit in her wheelchair
for her ride to see
madeline.
she said,
“i feel lightheaded”
and then she passed out.
we got her in to
her hospital bed.
doctors and nurses
rushed to help her.
but nothing could be done
to bring her
back.
no one to blame.
shitty luck
and
a pulmonary embolism
are what led us to
the saddest,
most horrific moment
of my life.
(and many other people’s lives).
Comments 141
Matt, since I heard about the horrific situation with Liz, there is one only song that I can listen to. So I hear it over and over and over, every day.
I can’t express it better than Cat Stevens:
How can I tell you that I love you, I love you
But I can’t think of right words to say
I long to tell you that I’m always thinking of you
I’m always thinking of you, but my words
Just blow away, just blow away
It always ends up to one thing, honey,
And I can’t think of right words to say
Wherever I am, girl, I’m always walking with you
I’m always walking with you, but I look and you’re not there
Whoever I’m with, I’m always, always talking to you
I’m always talking to you, and I’m sad that
You can’t hear, sad that you can’t hear
It always ends up to one thing, honey,
When I look and you’re not there
I need to know you, need to feel my arms around you
Feel my arms around you, like a sea around a shore
And — each night and day I pray, in hope
That I might find you, in hope that I might
Find you, because hearts can do no more
It always ends up to one thing, honey, still I kneel upon the floor
How can I tell you that I love you, I love you
But I can’t think of right words to say
I long to tell you that I’m always thinking of you
I’m always thinking of you….
It always ends up to one thing, honey,
And I can’t think of right words to say
However, the lyrics have two things wrong:
1. You always seem to have the right words to say
2. Liz can ALWAYS hear you
Posted 13 Apr 2008 at 10:47 pm ¶Matt,
I know you have no clue who I am…but I’ve been reading your blog everyday. I heard about your story on http://www.thebabywearer.com. You and beautiful Madeline have been in my prayers ever since.
There really aren’t any words. Just know that there are thousands of people out there that are thinking of you and praying for you. And although you may not feel like it at times, you are the strongest person I know.
By the way…thank you so much for sharing your life with us. The everyday things. The sad things. Liz was beautiful.
Posted 13 Apr 2008 at 11:05 pm ¶Matt, I found your website via the StarTribune’s cribsheet blog the other day. I was brought to tears when I read your story about your beautiful wife, Liz and your daughter, Madeline. I’m not really sure what to write but just know that so many people (even total strangers) are thinking of you during this difficult time. Just take it one day at a time (yeah, easier said than done) and know that Liz is with you every day. Madeline is going to grow up to be a beautiful little girl! You’re doing an amazing job. God Bless You both!
Posted 14 Apr 2008 at 5:40 am ¶Matt,
I just wanted to send you a quick note and let you know that I am another complete stranger that has been touched by your story. I can’t even begin to imagine what you have been through the past couple of months, but your courage and strength truly amaze me!! You have a beautiful daughter and I will never forget about your wife and all she did for her family.
Please know that you will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Posted 14 Apr 2008 at 5:49 am ¶Matt– I just wanted to write you another note to let you know that you, M. and your families are in my prayers. Your loss breaks my heart and at the same time, your love of M renews my spirit.
Posted 14 Apr 2008 at 8:37 am ¶Matt, I am so, so sorry. I read your post on Cribsheet. You and your whole family are in my thoughts. I wish there was something a stranger across the country to say to ease your pain.
Posted 14 Apr 2008 at 10:22 am ¶thank you for the updates, I am a total stranger, but I have tears for you everyday. your daughter is beautiful, she looks like you both
Posted 14 Apr 2008 at 11:14 am ¶Matt, I’m so sorry for your loss. Madeline is beautiful baby girl. I’m a new parent too (3 month old son) and will be thinking of you during those middle of the night feedings and diaper changes. Good luck with your gorgeous little girl!
Posted 14 Apr 2008 at 4:40 pm ¶Hi Matt,
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I will be praying for you and Madeline everyday and ask everyone I know to pray for you both too.
Therese
Posted 14 Apr 2008 at 11:37 pm ¶Matt: I found you via the Star Tribune and want you to know that you and Madeline are in my thoughts and prayers. I don’t know what I could say to properly acknowledge such a profound loss for both you and your baby daughter. Your wife sounds like she was an amazing woman.
All I have to offer is one bit of advice that my pediatrician shared during those early, exhausting days with a newborn. I think it applies as much to your situation as it does to the plight of any new parent. He told me that when you feel like you can’t go on, “just focus on getting through today — don’t worry about how you’ll survive tomorrow or next week or next month…just get through today.”
It became a little mantra that I repeated quietly to myself when I was at my wit’s end due to exhaustion, frustration or whatever. I hope that you know that strangers (and parents) are sending their thoughts of strength and hope to you from afar to help you make it through today. and tomorrow. and the next day.
Your sweet baby will bring immeasurable joy in the days ahead (especially when she starts to do more than sleep, eat, cry and soil her diapers), so hang in there.
Bless you.
Posted 17 Apr 2008 at 2:11 pm ¶Dear Matt,
Even though cards and e-mails may fade away, the memories of Madeline will be forever. I wish I had the right words to say to take your pain away. Tears well up in my eyes as I read your story. You have great courage to write and share like you do. I lost my baby son a few months ago, and my other half left me. It’s been a hard road. I can relate to some of the things you have shared, like the baby e-mails that keep coming. I finally unsubscribed to them all. I smile at you holding your little girl. Wishing I could be holding my little guy. May you love her and adore her and hopefully she can help fill the empty spot in your heart.
Kimberly
Posted 23 Apr 2008 at 12:41 pm ¶
Wanting to say “I’m so sorry”….sure you’ve heard it 394830 times and will continue to hear it. Whenever I pass by Liz’s office at work, the throat just tightens up. You and I have never met…well briefly once. But should you need anything…I know you are getting a tremendous out pouring from friends, family and even strangers, but really… perhaps next time Elizabeth V goes to visit, I’ll ask to see if it would be okay to tag along. I would love to meet Madeline. Everyone around the office hopes one day when its okay, for you to come by the office as Liz would have done and show her off. Peace and Blessings. ~gladys
Posted 23 Apr 2008 at 11:23 pm ¶I am not sure how I stumbled across your blog, but I did. From the moment I started reading, I was hooked. It is like I know you and your family. You are a wonderful writer. I am saddened, yet feel that there is a reason for everything. You are in my prayers. You and baby Madeline. She is beautiful and lucky to have such a loving father. Many people go through life not aware of how lucky and blessed they are. We are all guilty of that at times. Life sometimes makes us fully aware. Liz was beautiful, I am sure you have many wonderful memories that you can and will share with your beautiful baby. Hang in there. Praying for you!
Posted 24 Apr 2008 at 7:55 am ¶Hi Matt-
I am also a complete stranger… One of the ladies on thenest.com posted the link to your blog, and I’m so glad I clicked on it… You are an amazing father. I’ve been so touched by your story, and the strong family support that you have. And I am so truly sorry for your loss. You and your beautiful daughter madeline will always be in my thoughts. And just a little side note… I saw the recurring mention of music and how it helps people through different times in their lives (i completely agree), and it made me think of my father. He would sing me to sleep when I was a child, and those songs have stayed with me. He’d sing Moonshadow by Cat Stevens, and I Will by The Beatles… Take care Matt & Maddy…
-Chelsey
Posted 24 Apr 2008 at 1:46 pm ¶Matt, another stranger here who is heartbroken from reading your story. I cannot imagine what you are going through. And it saddens me that Maddy has to grow up without her mother. And as a mother, it pains me to read that Liz was never able to hold that beautiful baby in her arms. I am so sorry for your loss, and thank you for sharing your story. God Bless you and yours.
Posted 24 Apr 2008 at 1:55 pm ¶Matt, as everyone has previously mentioned, I am a total stranger who is touched by what I’ve read here. My son Chase was born on March 25th at 4:28pm. When I read about Liz’s passing on March 25th, I was reminded of what someone told me about how when one person dies, a baby is born. When I look at my son, I will be reminded of the wonderful woman whose earthly life was brought to an end so that my son’s life could begin. You are a great Daddy and I know that Liz is watching over you and Maddy. I’m sure she is entertained by watching you learn the ropes. Keep truckin’ along and know that there are many strangers out here that are remembering you in prayer. May God continue to bless you. Thank you Liz for giving my son life!-Lindsey in St. Louis, MO
Posted 24 Apr 2008 at 9:58 pm ¶Matt, I found the link to your blog on ivilliage. I just have to tell you how terribly sorry I am for what has happened. It breaks my heart that your precious Madeline never got the chance to know her mother and Liz never got to hold her daughter. You are doing a great job! I don’t have a clue what you are going thru, but I know you are just at the beginning of a long hard road, and you have so many people who love you that will help you thru this. Stay strong for Madeline, she’s going to need an extraordinary daddy (and it sounds like she’s got one)! You and your precious Madeline are and will continue to be in my thoughts.
Posted 25 Apr 2008 at 10:55 am ¶Matt. sorry for your loss. I saw your article in the Mpls Star-Trib. My husband died suddenly 8 days before our son was born and we also lived far from our families so in a very tiny way I know that heartache…to grieve and at the same time to celebrate both lives. Your child will bring you through the sadness and when the going is the roughest, you will not have the choice to pull the shades down and curl up in the corner of a bed. And that is a good thing. Remember to take care of yourself for that cute little girl of yours. The tears will gradually diminish but don’t worry, the memories will always be there.
Posted 26 Apr 2008 at 10:24 pm ¶Matt, I was simply going to do the StarTribune’s online Sudoko when I saw the article and said, “I know Matt Logelin.” I have to admit that I couldn’t have picked your photo out of a police lineup (not that you’d be in a police lineup) but it didn’t take me too long to convince myself you indeed were the same person who lived on Pat 1 at Saint John’s ten years ago. In fact, I called up an electronic copy of a recommendation I wrote for you to participate in Study Abroad. back then I called you “friendly and engaging” and “appreciative of my feeding his fish over long breaks.” After reading your account of all that’s happened to you, to Liz and Madeline–though I’d have to add something about “depth of feeling” and “emotional intelligence”–I have to stand by “friendly,” “engaging” and “appreciative.” I’ve e-pointed the monks at Saint John’s to your story and asked for the community’s prayers in sympathy and solidarity with you. May you continue to find strength and support and human warmth from sources known and unknown… Bro. D.
Posted 26 Apr 2008 at 10:28 pm ¶My Sunday morning coffee and internet news routine just took an unexpected turn. I’m 30, and my wife is expecting our first child, a boy, at the end of June. My fear of the unknown, my stupid little fears and quirks and nerves just went out the window, just like that. I can’t ramble on here about what you’re going through, there is no discription that can make a person understand what’s in front of you, just know how much you and your story impacts people. Everyone is pulling for you and your baby.
Posted 27 Apr 2008 at 5:18 am ¶Hello Matt,
Posted 27 Apr 2008 at 7:18 am ¶I just read your story in the Star Trib, I am sorry for your loss. It really struck home. Thanks for posting. We are both widowed dads. I lost my wife of 20 years last year after a 4 year battle with cancer. I have a 15 year old daughter. The newborn parent role is a tough one. I hope you have lots of help from friends, family, and neighbors. I posted to a caringbridge site during our battle, and it was therapeuutic. This grief road is a tough one, and an emotional roller coaster, as you are learning. I know the dad role is 24/7, but I hope that you can find some time for yourself to focus on you, and your needs from time to time. Glad you have support.
Take care, pace yourself, and enjoy your baby, you have many wonderful firsts to share together all in good time.
Again, I am sorry for your loss. She was way too young.
Your fellow minnetonkan, and widower, and parent,
Bob
I just read the article in the star trib and there are tears in my eyes. I felt this need to tell you, and you may not believe it at this time but your life will be ok. It will go on and it will not be as you planned it. It will be different but it will eventually be great.
Posted 27 Apr 2008 at 8:36 am ¶I was widowed 10 years ago at the age of 35 when my husband died (age 30) from cancer. It was not sudden but it was unexpected. We did not have children. I have been able to find a new way in life and have remarried and now have a beautiful son. The love for my first husband will never end and the memories never go away. You will find a new way in live and it will be ok. My heart goes out to you and your beautiful daughter. Your courage and love for her and your wife will get you through your dark time and bring you to a new life. Peace to you!
I was reading the Star Tribune this morning online and saw the most beautiful pic of a baby and her daddy and I had to read the story, as well as your blog.
I feel like I’ve been standing and peeping into the windows of strangers, and I thank you for your invitation. Your story is both tragic and moving, and I wish you and Madeline nothing but the best.
Posted 27 Apr 2008 at 8:39 am ¶I came out of the Longfellow Grill this morning and saw your article on the Strib front page in the news box. My heartfelt condolences go out to you, Madeline, Liz’s family, your family, and all your friends on this horrific loss. Nearly 25 years ago, my sister-in-law in her early thirties, died suddenly at home in her 38th week of pregnancy. My nephew died with her. She left a two year old daughter. We were devastated. “Rage, rage at the dying of the light.” Even today, it still stings to feel her loss. But I appreciate the sting because it reminds me that she is still in my heart. As someone else said above, do take it one day at a time. The light will return, and in a new form. You’ll see it in Madeline’s face. You’ll smell it in something that reminds you of Liz. You’ll feel it in the places you two loved to be, even if right now you don’t want to be in them. My lovely niece is now in her mid twenties, living an adventure in NYC. We’re proud of her. My brother has remarried to a wonderful woman who is mother to his first daughter and gave life to a second daughter. The light returned.
Posted 27 Apr 2008 at 9:05 am ¶Matt & Madeline…I just read your happy and sad story in the Minneapolis Star and Tribune this morning. (My husband told me I had to read it…) I was sooooooo touched by your story, I felt I had to write you. Even with the horrible tragedy of losing your loving wife, and friend, it sounds like you have soooooooooo many caring and loving friends and family members who will be there to help you along your lifes path with Madeline. You are truly a lucky man, Matt, even though at times, I’m sure it doesn’t seem that way to you !!!! I have one “motherly” suggestion for you, Matt, and I hope with all my heart, you will heed my suggestion !!!! Read to your beautiful baby girl every day of her life !!!!! Start now, when you are feeding her her bottle…she will grow to love hearing your voice read to her, and it will be soooooo comforting and fun for both of you… You must get yourself a copy of the book, “On the Night You Were Born”, by Nancy Tillman…It was written for you, Liz and Madeline… It starts out, “On the night you were born, the moon shone with such wonder that the stars peeked in to see you and the night wind wispered, “Life will never be the same.” And it won’t Matt…your life will never be the same…it will only get better !!!!!!! Please get the book for you and Madeline to read, I know Liz would love it !!!!!! The 3 of you will be in my thoughts and prayers every day… Please read to that beautiful baby girl… Hugs from Nana Mary in Minnesota
Posted 27 Apr 2008 at 9:12 am ¶Matt~
FUCK! That is the only word and it still isn’t a strong enough adjective. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Posted 27 Apr 2008 at 9:18 am ¶Matt, Liz, & Madeline,
I just read the story this morning and it brought me to tears. I am very sorry for your lost of your wife and friend but congratulations to your beautiful daughter. She is such blessing and God brought her into this world for a special reason. Matt, Liz, & Madeline, you all will always be in my prayers.
Jenny from MN
Posted 27 Apr 2008 at 9:48 am ¶Dear Matt,
Posted 27 Apr 2008 at 12:23 pm ¶My heart goes out to you and Madeline. I have no way of knowing what you are going through or the depth of your loss. It is heart warming to hear of your love for Liz. It’s obvious she will always be with you. It is because of this that your little girl will know her mother. May I suggest that you create a small album of photos of you and Liz that your daughter can carry with her where ever she goes. You can find small photo albums that are baby proof and made specifically for children. They hold about 6 photos. Madeline will bring you more joy than you can ever imagine. The two of you are in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you for sharing your story. What a wonderful way for you to work through these trying times. Sincerely, Vicki
Matt,
Posted 27 Apr 2008 at 3:43 pm ¶Your courage is truly amazing and life will go on. Memories will be shared and new ones created. There is a young man in Albertville, MN who is going through the exact same thing you are, just months before. His wife gave birth to a beautiful baby, and while at the hospital, she had a blood clot and passed quickly. He is now left with memories of his beautiful bride, just as you are, with many new memories from a beautiful baby.
My Sunday morning took an unexpected turn when I decided to read the Sunday Star Tribune. I have not gotten your or your family out of my thoughts since.
Life is scary. . . What happened to Liz proves that in a heartbeat, your entire world can change. Thank you for inviting us along for your journey, and please know that you are never alone.
I am deeply sorry for your loss.
Posted 27 Apr 2008 at 4:27 pm ¶Hi Matt & Madeline~
I have learned of your story thru the Star Tribune when i routinely check in to see whats happening back home in MN. I went to Mtka High and stumbled upon the keywords of the article about your blog.
I am sorry for the loss you must feel, but I am also inspired by the people who have reached out and helped you emotionally and otherwise.
May you always carry with you the love you and Liz share. May you always remember that you have been loved by Liz, probably a love that not many people get to encompass in their lifetime. Your story tells me that you and Liz had a love that so many strive to find in their life. Its not fair that it has turned out this way. But you will survive. Madeline is there to see you thru it.
May you always be strong enough to cry and laugh between the moments.
Posted 27 Apr 2008 at 4:55 pm ¶I’m so sorry for your loss.
Posted 27 Apr 2008 at 5:02 pm ¶My own mother died when I was little and my father was left to raise me and my brother. There’s a certain instinct that takes over when something like this happens, you grieve and then get to a point after some years where it’s easier to just not talk very much about the person who’s died. It can be so painful. But I know from personal experience that Madeline will want to know as much as possible about her mom. I hope that you will always remember to give her the gift throughout her life of telling her about her mom.
There was a book that I treasured when I was little: How it Feels When a Parent Dies by Jill Krementz. take care.
my friend matt…i hope it’s okay to call you that, i can’t even tell you how sad i am for you and your sweet little girl…i, too, lost my Mom, but i was 37 and she was 59 and i had the great joy of growing up with her. i am praying for you and your sweet baby, that she, too, will always know the love her mother had for her, to stay in bed for so long, to hope for her and plan for her, that she will grow up with a father who loves her so dearly now, and will only love her more as times passes….that you will find the part of your life that remembering doesn’t hurt and letting go isn’t so impossible to consider.
God bless you and your little daughter.
Posted 27 Apr 2008 at 5:39 pm ¶Matt,
We have never met. A friend sent me your site. I have spent the last hour reading about your precious wife and your amazing daughter. My water broke at 30 week and I delivered my son at 31w 5 days. We were in the NICU for 33 days (because girls are simply far superior to boys!) and I saw things in those weeks on bedrest and in the NICU that people should not see. Everyone thinks about pregnancy and the birth of a new baby as a joyous occasion, and while that is so often the case, sometimes babies and mommies don’t make it.
I wanted to tell you that I think you are incredible. The fact that you blog all of this, that you are honest and able to feel things and talk about them is truly a gift, and one that shows that Liz is never too far from you. I wish you peace and hope that you and Maddie continue to be surrounded by your loving family.
I hope to keep reading that every day brings you a little less sadness and that Maddie brings you so much joy.
Posted 27 Apr 2008 at 5:46 pm ¶Matt,
I had just heard about your story today in the Star Tribune. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I almost lost my life because of a pulmonary embolism after giving birth to a stillborn baby boy.
I can relate to it a little. I know it’s even worse when you lose someone you love so dear.
I think you are a very strong man and I hope you and Madeline can have some wonderful times together. I know that Liz will always be looking down on you two and she’ll be there waiting with open arms when God calls your names. God bless you and that little girl of yours. Take care and I’m sure you know that there are so many people thinking of you.
Posted 27 Apr 2008 at 6:28 pm ¶Matt, I just read your story. I am a labor and delivery nurse. I am so moved by your story, brings tears to my eyes when I think of it. I will pray for you and your family. Liz was a beauty. may the love of your daughter gently remind you of the love youhave for Liz. God bless and hang in there.
Posted 27 Apr 2008 at 6:51 pm ¶I am so sorry for your loss. May you fnd strength.
Hi … just another complete stranger here, who opened her paper this morning and was just struck by your devastating story. I was captivated and couldn’t stop myself for reading further, even though the tears were streaming down my face and into my morning cereal. I’m 30, married in 2005 to the man I have been with for over a decade. Close to being pregnant with our first, I guess I just can’t even wrap my thoughts around what you must be going through. All of the planning and hoping, waiting and dreaming …
My heart and prayers go out to you and your family. Your daughter is gorgeous and fortunately you two still have each other. Liz will always been looking down on you two and watching over to protect you both. With peace and love from Minnesota.
Posted 27 Apr 2008 at 7:11 pm ¶Matt,
WOW!!! Your story just hit me like a freight train. I am awaiting the birth of my first child at the end of July, and I now realize how much I have taken the pregnancy process for granted. After reading your story, I couldn’t help but hug my pregnant wife. Although it’s natural to fear the unknown, I have tried not to think about “bad” things during the pregnancy, just so that I wouldn’t drive myself crazy. Then I read your story, and now I can’t help but wonder…what if?
I debated about whether to have my wife read the article in the Star Trib, because I didn’t want to scare her. Yet, I felt that this was as good a time as any to discuss this very difficult topic. Moreover, I wanted to know if she had special instructions, if, god forbid she was taken like Liz was.
After reading your story, she sobbed uncontrollably. It was made worse by the photo of the chapel at Lakewood, where we held her father’s funeral service a few year’s ago. She asked if I thought I could care for a newborn and grieve at the same time. I said, “I really don’t know. But like the guy in the article said, our little one would have definitely lost the better parent.”
I am sure that what happened to Liz is incredibly rare. And on so many levels, you were handed a really $*@!&# deal. Part of me wants to say I’m sorry, and another part wants to say thank you. Thank you for telling your story. It has made us realize how dangerous this process can sometimes be. More importantly, it has helped us recognize how meaningless the little things we have been fretting over are, like whether the bedding will match the wall color.
You and your family will certainly be in our prayers. And you can bet that I will be thinking a great deal about you, as I anxiously wait for my little one to arrive. Best wishes!
Posted 27 Apr 2008 at 7:31 pm ¶Matt
I am not sure if you’ll remember me. I worked at Learning Tree in Hopkins and would babysit you and Nicholas, eventually becoming friends with your mother Sarah although we lost touch along time ago. I came across you story in the paper today and I am sorry for your loss and congratulate you on a beautiful baby girl. She was a beautiful person with a gorgeous smile. You have a way with words and through them I believe your daughter will know her mother. My thoughts are with you and your family.
Posted 27 Apr 2008 at 8:07 pm ¶I read your story in the MPLS StarTribune this evening and wow,I got the chills and tears started streaming down my face. I send my love and prayers,I know you don’t know me but as a wife and mother my heart aces. I lost a baby girl 8yrs ago last month and I like to think that I know it’s not Liz’s baby and Liz not my “Shelby”s mom but maybe Liz will be able to hold her for me and know the feeling of holding a baby girl. I hope that didn’t just sound really dumb,just wanted you to know that I really believe Liz is in heaven and will give me baby a kiss for me. She sounds like she would be that kind of gal. I am so sorry life went down this rotton path. Your wife was beautiful and ya know,she always will be. And your daughter will have great pictures of her mom to look at as she grows older. I wish I could do something to make everything all better and bring Liz back to you and my baby back to me but I know I can’t and man that stinks. So hold on to those memories of Liz and the love for her in your heart and be the best dad you can to your little darling. I do have a girl who will be 7 this wed,and she is the best thing ever. Girls are wonderful and little dickens too. I’m sure you will be protective as me and my husband are. God Bless you and e-mail anytime you would like. Deann Larson(MPLS, MN) (not sure if my e-mail will show up for you??)
Posted 27 Apr 2008 at 8:26 pm ¶Matt,
Thank you for sharing yourself, your beautiful wife and your absolutely gorgeous baby girl with the world. I love the pic of you wearing little Maddie in a sling - my hubby never mastered my slings (even though I had abou 15 of them!!) with any of our boys! Ü Good for you!
Liz lives on in your sweet lil’ girl! Love her to pieces. In doing so, you will continue to honor Liz’ memory forever!
Praying that God will hold you and your Maddie in His comforting arms.
Posted 27 Apr 2008 at 9:26 pm ¶Dear Matt - I am so sorry for your loss and know exactly what you’re going through. My husband died unexpectedly in September ‘07 and our daughter was only 9 months old. He had a heart attack in his sleep while we were at a hotel in northern MN for my sister’s wedding. He was 30 yrs old with no prior health problems, exercised every day, was an athlete in college, didn’t eat badly - a complete fluke. Now I’m alone raising our daughter and am heartbroken that she’ll never know her dad. You seem to be doing an amazing job of getting through these first weeks. People told me that I did too, but to be honest, looking back it’s all a haze and I didn’t start to come out from under that cloud until about a month ago. If you ever want to talk, let me know. It’s nice to have someone around who really, truly understands the situation of losing someone so suddenly when it’s supposed to be the happiest time of your life with your first child.
Good luck and I’ll be sending positive thoughts your way and Madeline’s.
Regards,
Posted 28 Apr 2008 at 6:44 am ¶Kristen (& Brooke)
Dear Matt~I, too, am a complete stranger, from Minnesota, but was moved by your story in the StarTrib. I am so sorry for you and Madeline’s loss. You seem very strong and you will be fine. Time doesn’t ease the pain, but in time you will learn to manage it. I will keep you in my daily thoughts and prayers. Please keep us posted.
Posted 28 Apr 2008 at 9:50 am ¶God Bless
I wanted to write and tell you that your story has just touched my heart in so many ways. I am filled with sorrow for your loss, but at the same time, joy for the precious little mircale you call Madeline! Let me just tell you, she is absolutely beautiful! I hope that you are able to seek comfort in your little girl and cherish every moment with her. Your wife lives on in little Madeline - and just wait, as she gets older, and starts to develop her little personality, you will see even more of Liz! Her days of discovery will become yours as well! It sounds like you have a wonderful support system - lots of friends & family, not to mention strangers, reaching out to you! It is so wonderful to know that in a world that is sometimes so complicated and seems cluttered with downfalls, there is still so much good, and that the simplest of gestures can mean so much.
My thoughts & prayers are with you, and I look forward to continuing to read your blog and watch your little miracle grow and change with each passing day!
Posted 28 Apr 2008 at 9:56 am ¶Hi Matt,
Just wanted to let you know I’m there with you brother. The first one’s the toughest, if you do get to experience the joy of another they get easier. Until one day when you have 4 and it’s so easy you just forget who made it all possible. Then in a second she’s gone, before your eyes, dying in your arms. And you’re there all alone with the little ones, and it’s not even real for along time. When it becomes real I’ll let you know.
http://www.legacy.com/startribune/obituaries.asp?Page=LifeStory&PersonID=103923315
Take care and walk in God’s arms my friend.
Posted 28 Apr 2008 at 11:24 am ¶Dear Matt-
I am so sorry. I read the story yesterday; and you and Madeline are in my thoughts and prayers. You obviously have a great support team, along with a beautiful daughter!! I wish you peace and happiness!! You and your family will be kept in our prayers.
Posted 28 Apr 2008 at 11:37 am ¶Dear Matt,
Posted 28 Apr 2008 at 2:19 pm ¶There are no words that I can say to ease the pain your going through and will continue to go through. What I can say is that with time you will heal. It takes a strong man with a lot of character to continue on like you are doing and not quit. After all you have a beautiful little girl who needs you!! No one understands why things happen, but we have to stay strong and keep going. Maybe your going through this to touch the life of someone else or to help someone down the road who might go through this same thing. God loves you and is there for you. In the quiet times when little Madeline is sleeping - just remember that God is only a prayer away. He is the one who can truely give you the peace and strength to get through this incredibly hard time in your life.
With much love and prayer for you and your family.
Matt:
God bless you, Liz, and Madeline. No doubt that Liz is in heaven! You and Liz will always be two of the most amazing people that Jamie and I will ever know. We have been balling our eyes out since we say the article in the MLPS paper. It seems like just yesterday hanging out with you and Liz in London.
You are an amazing man! Madeline is a gorgeous miracle! Liz will always be an amazing lady!
I am so sad for you and Madeline! Jamie and I are praying for you everyday. We have 3 kids and I cannot imagine what you are going through.
If you ever, ever need anything, please ask. Jamie and I will do anything.
God bless you!!
Kip Knippel, SJU 1999
Posted 28 Apr 2008 at 8:56 pm ¶Hi Matt -
I too am another stranger who was moved to tears after reading your story in the Star Tribune. I was so touched by your courage. I will keep you and that beatiful baby girl in my thoughts and prayers. I wish you continued strength and solice as you deal with your loss.
I share with you the Dragonfly Story, which has comforted me many times.
In the bottom of an old pond lived some grubs who could not understand why none of their group ever came back after crawling up the lily stems to the top of the water. They promised each other that the next one who was called to make the upward climb would return and tell what had happened to him. Soon one of them felt an urgent impulse to seek the surface; he rested himself on the top of a lily pad and went through a glorious transformation which made him a dragonfly with beautiful wings. In vain he tried to keep his promise. Flying back and forth over the pond, he peered down at his friends below. Then he realized that even if they could see him they would not recognize such a radiant creature as one of their number.
The fact that we cannot see our friends or communicate with them after the transformation which we call death is no proof that they cease to exist.”
Crista
Posted 29 Apr 2008 at 8:10 am ¶Hi Matt,
Posted 29 Apr 2008 at 11:07 am ¶I’m another stranger… just someone in MN who read your story, flocked to your site, and fought back tears while reading your words. I don’t know where you and Liz were/are with your faith… It isn’t a question I expect an answer to. But I do have to share that God is with you, and he is our great comfortor. You can tell him how mad you are and ask him for the peace and guidance you are going to need as a dad, and he will gladly give it to you. I can’t answer all the big questions like “why did God do this”… no one can. Bad things happen to good people all the time. We have to trust that everything will work out for the good of those who believe. Know you are not alone. I won’t Bible story you to death, but please go and pick it up and read it on your own. I know it would bring comfort.
I just found your blog today. I know there’s little to help ease the pain, but hang in there. Even sympathetic blog comments from strangers can sometimes do a little good. Madeline is beautiful, btw.
Posted 30 Apr 2008 at 10:25 am ¶Matt — I am so sorry for your tragedy. My heart aches for you and your family. I was also personally shaken by your story in the Strib as I had a clot one year ago after delivering my son. I called the Strib after reading your story and they posted my story on their Body Talk blog to help raise more awareness. The reason I called them is I have been working to raise awareness about clot risks in women of childbearing age. Awareness of the issue and awareness of prevention tactics are low. I hope we (we as in the non profit I volunteer with) can make a difference through awareness and education. I want you to know that your story will serve as my motivation to keep working to drive positive change. Also, by sharing your story you’ve likely already helped other pregnant women and those who will be in the future know to be aware of the risks. Please try to take a little comfort in the words of so many strangers who wish you and your family solace.
Posted 30 Apr 2008 at 5:54 pm ¶Dear Matt
Posted 30 Apr 2008 at 9:02 pm ¶I’m from Minnesota. I read your story in the Star and Tribune and it just breaks my heart. I’am so sorry for your loss. Life will get better in time. Just keep cherishing fond memories of you and Liz and what you two created a BEAUTIFUL daughter-Madeline. Take Care Cindy B.
Oh my heart goes out to you and your new baby girl. I’m so sad for you.
Hug that little gal.
Lyns
Posted 01 May 2008 at 9:23 am ¶I don’t know you, but i wanted to pass along my sincere condolonces to you on the passing of your wife Liz. God bless you and your Baby Girl. I have been weeping while reading your story, take care……….
Posted 01 May 2008 at 11:51 am ¶I just wanted to add, i am from Nova Scota Canada.
Posted 01 May 2008 at 11:52 am ¶Matt, I’m yet another stranger; I got your name and blog from a friend of mine whose baby died when she was 36 weeks pregnant, and she heard about you from a friend in California. I am so very, very sorry for your wife’s death. My heart goes out to you. I am widowed too–my husband died very unexpectedly, in a bicycle accident, when our baby was 10 months old–so I understand some of what you’re going through, wondering what the hell just happened and trying to make it though each day a moment at a time.
I won’t try to offer you platitudes. One thing that has helped me (as much as anything can help) is to find other people who were widowed young, who understand what I’m going through. I was 27 and had been married for only 19 months when my husband died, so the younger the widow, the better, for me. I found a local support group here in Portland, OR that’s for young widows and widowers, and it’s been an amazing outlet of support and for honest grieving. If you can’t fine a group where you live (or if you’re not interested in one), another phenomenal source of comfort and support was an online bulletin board for young widows and widowers that I found about 6 weeks after my husband’s death. It’s called the Young Widow Bulletin Board (YWBB), and you can access it and find more information at http://www.youngwidow.org.
If you ever want to communicate with someone who’s been there and is still living through the death of their spouse, feel free to email me anytime. I also recently started writing a blog about my widowhood, if you’re interested in other people’s real-world, day-to-day experiences of it. It’s at http://crashcoursewidow.blogspot.com/.
Take care of yourself, and above all, be gentle with yourself.
Candice
Posted 01 May 2008 at 12:30 pm ¶I have read a few entries so far and am sitting here crying my eyes out for your beautiful family. Your site was linked through babycenter and I have read your story and all I can say is I am so sorry and I will keep you in my prayers.
Posted 01 May 2008 at 6:52 pm ¶I am so incredibly sorry.
Posted 02 May 2008 at 3:33 pm ¶Matt: I’m a little late to your blog, but I just got caught up. I wanted to let you know that I’m thinking of you and Madeline. You have an extremely beautiful baby! It’s wonderful that you’re sharing your experience. (I’m a new parent, as well, and when everyone tells you “Time flies! They grow up so fast,” they mean it! You will treasure these memories and pictures and what you’ve written. Hopefully, all the people who are reading along with you can help bear the heavy weight of the tragedy and make it ever so much lighter for you. I also believe that you are giving many people the wonderful gift of being able to help you and Madeline. Best wishes to you and your entire family.
Posted 02 May 2008 at 9:45 pm ¶Matt: I am also a complete stranger, I have been reading your blog and I see you are doing a wonderful job with Madeline, she is a beautiful baby girl. I will keep you both in my prayers.
Posted 04 May 2008 at 6:57 am ¶Hi Matt - My husband and I are praying for you and Madeline. She is gorgeous, and so blessed to have someone so loving as her father. As she grows and does something so fun & clever that only Liz can appreciate as much as you do, just remember that Liz is there with you sharing in your delight. May God bless you all!
Posted 04 May 2008 at 9:06 pm ¶Hi Matt,
A friend of mine on Livejournal posted the link to your blog in her journal and I’m glad she did. I’m truly sorry for your loss. I lost my mother when I was 11 and it’s going to be tough on Madeline, but 1 piece of advice — please, please remember everything you can about Liz and write it down in a book, notepad, anything for your daughter. She will be so greatful that, even though she didn’t get to meet her mother or grow up with her, at least she’ll be able to have that book forever & know exactly who her mommy was.
I hope you can pull through! Again, so sorry for your loss. =[
Posted 07 May 2008 at 6:12 am ¶Oh my goodness there are just no words. What a stunning and beautiful wife you had, and what a stunning and beautiful tribute you have in this website. I am so sorry for your losses, there are just no words to comfort anyone in that position. What a beautiful little girl you have there! Keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep breathing, and maybe someday everything won’t feel so foreign….take care of yourself!
Posted 07 May 2008 at 2:09 pm ¶I am so sorry.
You are incredibly strong. Madeline will be just fine. I am with a doubt certain she will know all about her mother. You will be sure of it I know.
She can hear you. And you will be together again. Families Are Forever.
Posted 07 May 2008 at 3:28 pm ¶Matt, I’m so sorry for your loss. You and your daughter will be in my prayers.
Posted 08 May 2008 at 6:25 am ¶A friend just recently showed me your site. While being heartbroken for you is a given - I am struck by all of the wonderful people holding and loving your daughter - she is going to be a strong and wonderful person. I saw your note on formula and smarter kids - screw that. Both my boys had formula and they’re going to be loving and smart - and so is your Madeline.
Posted 09 May 2008 at 6:28 am ¶I am president of the National Alliance for Thrombosis and Thrombophilia, a patient and family organization made up of people like you. On behalf of everyone at NATT, our deepest condoleces for your loss. You have a beautiful daughter and I hope she brings you great joy as she grows up.
Posted 09 May 2008 at 8:09 am ¶HI Matt,
Your friends Steph and Jeff just told me about your tragic news. Do you know about mine? I lost my husband unepxectedly 7 months ago, age 33. My heart ached to hear another going through what I’m going. I wanted to pass this along to you. If you would like to get in touch with me, please ask Steph/Jeff for my contact information. Take care. Susan Lau
What Grieving People Want You to Know
By Virginia A. Simpson, Ph.D
1. I am not strong. I’m just numb. When you tell me I am strong, I feel that you don’t see me.
2. I will not recover. This is not a cold or the flu. I’m not sick. I’m grieving and that’s different. I will not always be grieving as intensely, but I will never forget my loved one and rather than recover, I want to incorporate his life and love into the rest of my life. That person is part of me and always will be, and sometimes I will remember him with joy and other times with a tear. Both are okay.
3. I don’t have to accept the death. Yes, I have to understand that it has happened and it is real, but there are just some things in life that are not acceptable.
4. Please don’t avoid me. You can’t catch my grief. My world is painful, and when you are too afraid to call me or visit or say anything, you isolate me at a time when I most need to be cared about. If you don’t know what to say, just come over, give me a hug or touch my arm, and gently say, “I’m sorry.” You can even say, “I just don’t know what to say, but I care, and want you to know that.”
5. Please don’t say, “Call me if you need anything.” I’ll never call you because I have no idea what I need. Trying to figure out what you could do for me takes more energy than I have. So, in advance, let me give you some ideas:
— Bring food.
— Offer to take my children to a movie or game so that I have some moments to myself.
— Send me a card on special holidays, birthdays (mine, his or hers), or the anniversary of the death, and be sure and mention her name. You can’t make me cry. The tears are here and I will love you for giving me the opportunity to shed them because someone cared enough about me to reach out on this difficult day.
— Ask me more than once to join you at a movie or lunch or dinner. I may so no at first or even for a while, but please don’t give up on me because somewhere down the line, I may be ready, and if you’ve given up, then I really will be alone.
6. Try to understand that this is like I’m in a foreign country where I don’t speak the language and have no map to tell me what to do. Even if there were a map, I’m not sure right now I could understand what it was saying. I’m lost and in a fog. I’m confused.
7. When you tell me what I should be doing, then I feel even more lost and alone. I feel bad enough that my loved one is dead, so please don’t make it worse by telling me I’m not doing this right.
8. Please don’t call to complain about your husband, your wife, or your children. Right now, I’d be delighted to have my loved one here no matter what they were doing.
9. Please don’t tell me I can have other children or need to start dating again. I’m not ready. And maybe I don’t want to. And besides, what makes you think people are replaceable? They aren’t. Whoever comes after, will always be someone different.
10. I don’t even understand what you mean when you say, “You’ve got to get on with your life.” My life is going on, but it may not look the way you think it should. This will take time and I never will be my old self again. So please, just love me as I am today, and know, that with your love and support, the joy will slowly return to my life. But I will never forget and there will always be times that I cry.
Posted 09 May 2008 at 6:02 pm ¶There really are no words. Just please know you and your family has our thoughts, prayers, and sincerest condolences.
Posted 10 May 2008 at 7:01 pm ¶Hi Matt,
Just another stranger inundating your comments page with support. I’m from Minneapolis but I found out about your story through my blog on Tumblr. There’s this whole dashboard feature where you read the entries of bloggers that you’re “following” and a blogger that I was following from Illinois wrote about your blog and since you’re from MN, I was instantly intrigued. Funny how you get connected to some people. ANYWAY, I’ve been reading through your entries and first of all, your daughter is absolutely beautiful. She will most certainly have your wife’s good looks because from the few pictures I’ve seen, Liz was also absolutely beautiful. I want you to know that, as many others have said before me, you are in my thoughts and prayers. Your words are beautiful and heartbreaking and inspiring and thoughtful and bittersweet and a hundred thousand other adjectives. I am so, so deeply sorry for your loss. I don’t know how you are doing it, but I’m so lucky to be able to read about your journey and silently, anonomously, support you through your healing. Thank you for your words. I don’t have the right words to comfort you at all, but thank you for sharing your words.
Posted 12 May 2008 at 7:38 am ¶I know that there is nothing obviously to say that will help this situation!!! But I do want to point out that you have a beautiful piece of liz… She will grow to make faces like liz and possible look like her… You will have a constant reminder of her… Some people don’t have that! for this you can be thankful… but again i am sorry. madeline is a beautiful child!
Posted 12 May 2008 at 7:50 am ¶I’m just another stranger who found your website through word of mouth. I’m not going to tell you how your story makes me feel because it doesn’t matter what I feel or how I can relate - I just want you to know my thoughts, prayers, good vibes, tears, smiles, etc. are all with you and Madeline. I will be following your blog to watch Madeline grow and to watch your journey into fatherhood. All my best, and I mean that.
Posted 12 May 2008 at 10:34 am ¶I heard about your story on the nest.com and was just so touched by your astounding strength. You will definately be in my toughts and I pray you find peace knowing liz is in a better place. Madeline is precious and a true gift. Best wishes.
Posted 13 May 2008 at 1:46 pm ¶I am so very sorry for our loss. That is the most trite thing I have ever written, but I don’t have any wise words or profound statement that can ease your grief. I don’t know if anyone does.
Sending you love, sending you peace, sending you hope. :hug:
Posted 13 May 2008 at 2:06 pm ¶Matt,
Posted 13 May 2008 at 3:09 pm ¶Thank you for sharing your story. There are many people out here thinking of you and Madeline. Our prayers and thoughts are with you. Happy 7th week Birthday to Medeline!!! Keep growing out of those clothes, beautiful!
Matt,
Posted 14 May 2008 at 5:17 pm ¶First I am very sorry for your loss. I’ve lost my brother and my father so I know what you’re going through. Just always remember that GOD will never ever let you down so just hang in there.
High school sweethearts, married, planned for their first baby, 11 YEARS OF LIFE SHARED, then TRAGIC THINGS HAPPENED!.
Posted 15 May 2008 at 8:04 am ¶They dated 4 years, got married, waited 5 years to start a family. As best as it can be, all things were done in the “right” way. I could not have asked for a better son-in-law to love my daughter and granddaughter. To love them completly and soulfully.
Our Madilyn Grace was born in March 2007. In July my daughter got a call from the police department, right away she knew something bad had happened. Her husband was killed in a traffic accident. He had left work at noon, because he was not feeling well. A car tried to pass on the shoulder of the road, and caused a horrific accident, he was killed instantly. He had called her at 12:43 (cell phone records) and they spoke briefly. The first 911 call went in at 12:54 (police records). She was not on the phone with him when the wreck happened (thank GOD).
The next few weeks are a blurr to us all. But I do remember her telling me, MOM, What do I do now? My life was planned! We were going to buy a bigger house. Have another baby. What do I do? EVERYTHING has changed. I watched her just sitting there numb, I watched her cry, I cried with her, for her, for my granddaughter, and for my loss as well. I cannot think of a more tragic situation than what you, and my daughter have gone through. NOW I cry for you and your Madeline, for your loss as well.
She found your story and forward it to me. She said that it has touched her so deeply, to know that she actually KNOWS what your going through. IT SUCKS. Once believing that no one could possibly understand her pain, I now know that someone does. I told her that I could never understand the hurt she has, But I can cry with her, as long as it takes, I will share that pain, I would take it all for her if I could. I HATE IT. I DESPISE IT. ITS NOT FAIR, AND LIFE RIPPED HER OFF. sounds a little bitter and angry huh? Well, its ok to think something sucks. Its your actions that count. Get up everyday, do the best you can, and it still sucks. Still hurts, still miss them, and feels awful.
But, we go on. We still have to breath. Still have to eat. Still have to work, And yes laugh. We still have Our Madi, and she still has a, very loving, determined, parent that recognizes that God gave her a part of her husband first, because He knew thats what it would take to get her through it.
We will be watching your story, as it is so close to our own.
hi matt,
i knew liz in college and while we weren’t close we chatted now and then and had at least one class together.
everything about her sparkled. whether it was her intellect, her personality, her face…
i pray that you and madeline are able to find some comfort even in your immense grief.
Posted 15 May 2008 at 9:40 am ¶You hang on cowboy. It’s always worst for those left behind. Last year my husband and i lost our daughter Emi at 22 wks gestation. This year, just a few days ago, we lost our second daughter Daniella at 23 wks gestation.
These tragedies happen - just like that! No waning, no prep, no instructions on how to survive. But we will.
We are left behind for a reaon. I am devastated beyond words for me, for my husband, for you.
Life will somehow go on. I will hold you and Madeline in my prayers.
Posted 16 May 2008 at 1:31 pm ¶Hi Matt,
My wife died May 8th of a pulmonary embolism three days after the birth of our second child, Audrey. So here I am, a widower with a 2 year old and a 1 week old. I’m so fucking scared. I hope things are going ok for you. If you ever want to chat shoot me an email. I can’t promise I’ll make you feel any better, but maybe we can share some helpful info?
Best wishes,
-Phil
Posted 19 May 2008 at 10:12 am ¶Just saw your story on Story of My Life and left a comment for you. I’m so sorry for your loss Matt.
Posted 21 May 2008 at 9:44 pm ¶This poem comes to mind
Parting
My life closed twice before its close;
Posted 22 May 2008 at 10:33 am ¶It yet remains to see
If Immortality unveil
A third event to me,
So huge, so hopeless to conceive,
As these that twice befell.
Parting is all we know of heaven,
And all we need of hell.
Oh, Matt. There are no words. I am so sorry for your loss.
Posted 22 May 2008 at 9:09 pm ¶I found your blog and am very sorry for your loss though I must say is sounds like you are doing a great job with Madeline! I was also on bedrest for about 8 weeks before my little girl was born at 38 weeks. After reading about Liz’s experience I have realized once again how lucky we were to have both of us come out of it happy and healthy. I sometimes wonder if bedrest does more harm than good. I am thinking of all three of you and will never forget any of you.
Posted 24 May 2008 at 5:50 am ¶I don’t even know what to say…I’m sorry seems not to be enough. After reading your Blog I can say your daughter has the most amazing father a child can ask for! Your love and devotion to her can be sceen even threw the interent. I wish you both the best life has to offer.
I am a Mom of 3 and can honestly say when life looks like it is tough and you feel the day just won’t end…..I sit quietly and just look at them or remember something they did and realize how truly blessed I am. I hope in the days ahead you will look ahead and see how your little girl is such a blessing and hope that gets you through the rougher times.
Great big hugs ….God Bless.
Posted 25 May 2008 at 9:27 pm ¶I am so sorry for your loss. I know baby Madeline would have wanted to hold her mommy. My heart goes out to you.
Posted 27 May 2008 at 9:41 pm ¶wow…firstly i must say ur doing great and reading your blog brought me to tears….Madeline is so so cute. I canot begin to say how sorry i am for your loss….reading through i noticed you went to a polish restaurant few days ago (im Polish
) and then reading this bit i notice Madeline was born on 3/24 by c section and so was my son…
I’m sure Liz is looking over and she can see how great you’re doing and she must be so proud…
All the best hun and kisses to your gorgeous daughter!
Posted 28 May 2008 at 9:37 am ¶If you’re ever looking for a husband for her he’s ready to move to LA any time! lol
we hate the weather here in London ;))))
x
I am so, so, so sorry for your loss.
My husband and I lost our son, stillborn at 27 weeks. This was just over two months ago, but feels like yesterday…and like ten years ago, all at the same time.
My heart goes out to you, in shared grief. I am so sorry you have lost your beautiful wife.
Tamara
Posted 28 May 2008 at 4:57 pm ¶I know you’ve heard it so many times by now, BUT…
Posted 29 May 2008 at 5:03 pm ¶I am so very sorry for your loss. You and your daughter will be in my thoughts and prayers.
My deepest sympathies.
I am so, so sorry.
Posted 02 Jun 2008 at 1:24 pm ¶How sad, this makes me cry. I’m so very sorry.
Posted 02 Jun 2008 at 10:35 pm ¶I am so sorry for the loss of your wife, Liz and Madeline’s mummy. Words are just so inadequate. There is nothing to ease the pain of grieving for a loved one be they the love of your life or your child.
Posted 03 Jun 2008 at 12:06 am ¶Hi Matt, I am sorry for all of the pain and confusion in your life. I find real hope in the fact that there is someone out there who can go through such an experience and not curl up into a ball like I probably would. Your daughter is beautiful, and I wanted to say that I think it is great that you are sharing this blog with her, as well as all of us random strangers who have found it by chance. It is a lovely legacy to leave her, to show her someday just how much you and her mom love her, as well as a great way to share some of the memories that you have of your time with Liz. Madeline is very lucky to have someone like you to take care of her. Warm regards, Angela
Posted 03 Jun 2008 at 10:09 am