i’ve been hearing
that question
a lot.
so…
for those of you
who don’t know
here goes…
5 weeks of bedrest.
(2 at home, 3 in the hospital).
liz had low amniotic fluid.
baby had her cord around her neck.
baby’s heart rate dropped
(multiple times).
liz almost delivered
(multiple times).
the day finally came
(3/24).
madeline was born via c-section.
everyone was happy
and healthy.
liz was told
to hang out in bed
for another 24 hours
and then she was going to
see madeline.
she waited patiently
hearing stories
and seeing photos
of me
feeding and changing
madeline’s diapers.
(she was soooo jealous and i teased her mercilessly that i was 1, 2, 3 diapers ahead of her and that she had to catch up).
24 hours came
and she got ready
to lay her hands
on madeline
for the very
first
time.
she got up from bed
(with the help of some nurses and me).
we joked about her new-found independence.
i told her that she
had to start waiting on me
because i’d been waiting on her
for 5 weeks.
she laughed,
and said,
“of course.”
she walked to the mirror
and said,
“my hair looks like shit.”
we all laughed
(because her hair looked great, especially for someone who’d been on bed rest for 5 weeks).
the nurse said,
“are you ready to go?”
she said,
“yes.”
her excitement
was overflowing.
she turned around
to sit in her wheelchair
for her ride to see
madeline.
she said,
“i feel lightheaded”
and then she passed out.
we got her in to
her hospital bed.
doctors and nurses
rushed to help her.
but nothing could be done
to bring her
back.
no one to blame.
shitty luck
and
a pulmonary embolism
are what led us to
the saddest,
most horrific moment
of my life.
(and many other people’s lives).
308 Comments
Matt, since I heard about the horrific situation with Liz, there is one only song that I can listen to. So I hear it over and over and over, every day.
I can’t express it better than Cat Stevens:
How can I tell you that I love you, I love you
But I can’t think of right words to say
I long to tell you that I’m always thinking of you
I’m always thinking of you, but my words
Just blow away, just blow away
It always ends up to one thing, honey,
And I can’t think of right words to say
Wherever I am, girl, I’m always walking with you
I’m always walking with you, but I look and you’re not there
Whoever I’m with, I’m always, always talking to you
I’m always talking to you, and I’m sad that
You can’t hear, sad that you can’t hear
It always ends up to one thing, honey,
When I look and you’re not there
I need to know you, need to feel my arms around you
Feel my arms around you, like a sea around a shore
And — each night and day I pray, in hope
That I might find you, in hope that I might
Find you, because hearts can do no more
It always ends up to one thing, honey, still I kneel upon the floor
How can I tell you that I love you, I love you
But I can’t think of right words to say
I long to tell you that I’m always thinking of you
I’m always thinking of you….
It always ends up to one thing, honey,
And I can’t think of right words to say
However, the lyrics have two things wrong:
1. You always seem to have the right words to say
2. Liz can ALWAYS hear you
Matt,
I know you have no clue who I am…but I’ve been reading your blog everyday. I heard about your story on http://www.thebabywearer.com. You and beautiful Madeline have been in my prayers ever since.
There really aren’t any words. Just know that there are thousands of people out there that are thinking of you and praying for you. And although you may not feel like it at times, you are the strongest person I know.
By the way…thank you so much for sharing your life with us. The everyday things. The sad things. Liz was beautiful.
Matt, I found your website via the StarTribune’s cribsheet blog the other day. I was brought to tears when I read your story about your beautiful wife, Liz and your daughter, Madeline. I’m not really sure what to write but just know that so many people (even total strangers) are thinking of you during this difficult time. Just take it one day at a time (yeah, easier said than done) and know that Liz is with you every day. Madeline is going to grow up to be a beautiful little girl! You’re doing an amazing job. God Bless You both!
Matt,
I just wanted to send you a quick note and let you know that I am another complete stranger that has been touched by your story. I can’t even begin to imagine what you have been through the past couple of months, but your courage and strength truly amaze me!! You have a beautiful daughter and I will never forget about your wife and all she did for her family.
Please know that you will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Matt– I just wanted to write you another note to let you know that you, M. and your families are in my prayers. Your loss breaks my heart and at the same time, your love of M renews my spirit.
Matt, I am so, so sorry. I read your post on Cribsheet. You and your whole family are in my thoughts. I wish there was something a stranger across the country to say to ease your pain.
thank you for the updates, I am a total stranger, but I have tears for you everyday. your daughter is beautiful, she looks like you both
Matt, I’m so sorry for your loss. Madeline is beautiful baby girl. I’m a new parent too (3 month old son) and will be thinking of you during those middle of the night feedings and diaper changes. Good luck with your gorgeous little girl!
Hi Matt,
I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I will be praying for you and Madeline everyday and ask everyone I know to pray for you both too.
Therese
Matt: I found you via the Star Tribune and want you to know that you and Madeline are in my thoughts and prayers. I don’t know what I could say to properly acknowledge such a profound loss for both you and your baby daughter. Your wife sounds like she was an amazing woman.
All I have to offer is one bit of advice that my pediatrician shared during those early, exhausting days with a newborn. I think it applies as much to your situation as it does to the plight of any new parent. He told me that when you feel like you can’t go on, “just focus on getting through today — don’t worry about how you’ll survive tomorrow or next week or next month…just get through today.”
It became a little mantra that I repeated quietly to myself when I was at my wit’s end due to exhaustion, frustration or whatever. I hope that you know that strangers (and parents) are sending their thoughts of strength and hope to you from afar to help you make it through today. and tomorrow. and the next day.
Your sweet baby will bring immeasurable joy in the days ahead (especially when she starts to do more than sleep, eat, cry and soil her diapers), so hang in there.
Bless you.
Dear Matt,
Even though cards and e-mails may fade away, the memories of Madeline will be forever. I wish I had the right words to say to take your pain away. Tears well up in my eyes as I read your story. You have great courage to write and share like you do. I lost my baby son a few months ago, and my other half left me. It’s been a hard road. I can relate to some of the things you have shared, like the baby e-mails that keep coming. I finally unsubscribed to them all. I smile at you holding your little girl. Wishing I could be holding my little guy. May you love her and adore her and hopefully she can help fill the empty spot in your heart.
Kimberly
I am not sure how I stumbled across your blog, but I did. From the moment I started reading, I was hooked. It is like I know you and your family. You are a wonderful writer. I am saddened, yet feel that there is a reason for everything. You are in my prayers. You and baby Madeline. She is beautiful and lucky to have such a loving father. Many people go through life not aware of how lucky and blessed they are. We are all guilty of that at times. Life sometimes makes us fully aware. Liz was beautiful, I am sure you have many wonderful memories that you can and will share with your beautiful baby. Hang in there. Praying for you!
Hi Matt-
I am also a complete stranger… One of the ladies on thenest.com posted the link to your blog, and I’m so glad I clicked on it… You are an amazing father. I’ve been so touched by your story, and the strong family support that you have. And I am so truly sorry for your loss. You and your beautiful daughter madeline will always be in my thoughts. And just a little side note… I saw the recurring mention of music and how it helps people through different times in their lives (i completely agree), and it made me think of my father. He would sing me to sleep when I was a child, and those songs have stayed with me. He’d sing Moonshadow by Cat Stevens, and I Will by The Beatles… Take care Matt & Maddy…
-Chelsey
Matt, another stranger here who is heartbroken from reading your story. I cannot imagine what you are going through. And it saddens me that Maddy has to grow up without her mother. And as a mother, it pains me to read that Liz was never able to hold that beautiful baby in her arms. I am so sorry for your loss, and thank you for sharing your story. God Bless you and yours.
Matt, as everyone has previously mentioned, I am a total stranger who is touched by what I’ve read here. My son Chase was born on March 25th at 4:28pm. When I read about Liz’s passing on March 25th, I was reminded of what someone told me about how when one person dies, a baby is born. When I look at my son, I will be reminded of the wonderful woman whose earthly life was brought to an end so that my son’s life could begin. You are a great Daddy and I know that Liz is watching over you and Maddy. I’m sure she is entertained by watching you learn the ropes. Keep truckin’ along and know that there are many strangers out here that are remembering you in prayer. May God continue to bless you. Thank you Liz for giving my son life!-Lindsey in St. Louis, MO
Matt, I found the link to your blog on ivilliage. I just have to tell you how terribly sorry I am for what has happened. It breaks my heart that your precious Madeline never got the chance to know her mother and Liz never got to hold her daughter. You are doing a great job! I don’t have a clue what you are going thru, but I know you are just at the beginning of a long hard road, and you have so many people who love you that will help you thru this. Stay strong for Madeline, she’s going to need an extraordinary daddy (and it sounds like she’s got one)! You and your precious Madeline are and will continue to be in my thoughts.
Matt. sorry for your loss. I saw your article in the Mpls Star-Trib. My husband died suddenly 8 days before our son was born and we also lived far from our families so in a very tiny way I know that heartache…to grieve and at the same time to celebrate both lives. Your child will bring you through the sadness and when the going is the roughest, you will not have the choice to pull the shades down and curl up in the corner of a bed. And that is a good thing. Remember to take care of yourself for that cute little girl of yours. The tears will gradually diminish but don’t worry, the memories will always be there.
Matt, I was simply going to do the StarTribune’s online Sudoko when I saw the article and said, “I know Matt Logelin.” I have to admit that I couldn’t have picked your photo out of a police lineup (not that you’d be in a police lineup) but it didn’t take me too long to convince myself you indeed were the same person who lived on Pat 1 at Saint John’s ten years ago. In fact, I called up an electronic copy of a recommendation I wrote for you to participate in Study Abroad. back then I called you “friendly and engaging” and “appreciative of my feeding his fish over long breaks.” After reading your account of all that’s happened to you, to Liz and Madeline–though I’d have to add something about “depth of feeling” and “emotional intelligence”–I have to stand by “friendly,” “engaging” and “appreciative.” I’ve e-pointed the monks at Saint John’s to your story and asked for the community’s prayers in sympathy and solidarity with you. May you continue to find strength and support and human warmth from sources known and unknown… Bro. D.
My Sunday morning coffee and internet news routine just took an unexpected turn. I’m 30, and my wife is expecting our first child, a boy, at the end of June. My fear of the unknown, my stupid little fears and quirks and nerves just went out the window, just like that. I can’t ramble on here about what you’re going through, there is no discription that can make a person understand what’s in front of you, just know how much you and your story impacts people. Everyone is pulling for you and your baby.
Hello Matt,
I just read your story in the Star Trib, I am sorry for your loss. It really struck home. Thanks for posting. We are both widowed dads. I lost my wife of 20 years last year after a 4 year battle with cancer. I have a 15 year old daughter. The newborn parent role is a tough one. I hope you have lots of help from friends, family, and neighbors. I posted to a caringbridge site during our battle, and it was therapeuutic. This grief road is a tough one, and an emotional roller coaster, as you are learning. I know the dad role is 24/7, but I hope that you can find some time for yourself to focus on you, and your needs from time to time. Glad you have support.
Take care, pace yourself, and enjoy your baby, you have many wonderful firsts to share together all in good time.
Again, I am sorry for your loss. She was way too young.
Your fellow minnetonkan, and widower, and parent,
Bob
I just read the article in the star trib and there are tears in my eyes. I felt this need to tell you, and you may not believe it at this time but your life will be ok. It will go on and it will not be as you planned it. It will be different but it will eventually be great.
I was widowed 10 years ago at the age of 35 when my husband died (age 30) from cancer. It was not sudden but it was unexpected. We did not have children. I have been able to find a new way in life and have remarried and now have a beautiful son. The love for my first husband will never end and the memories never go away. You will find a new way in live and it will be ok. My heart goes out to you and your beautiful daughter. Your courage and love for her and your wife will get you through your dark time and bring you to a new life. Peace to you!
I was reading the Star Tribune this morning online and saw the most beautiful pic of a baby and her daddy and I had to read the story, as well as your blog.
I feel like I’ve been standing and peeping into the windows of strangers, and I thank you for your invitation. Your story is both tragic and moving, and I wish you and Madeline nothing but the best.
I came out of the Longfellow Grill this morning and saw your article on the Strib front page in the news box. My heartfelt condolences go out to you, Madeline, Liz’s family, your family, and all your friends on this horrific loss. Nearly 25 years ago, my sister-in-law in her early thirties, died suddenly at home in her 38th week of pregnancy. My nephew died with her. She left a two year old daughter. We were devastated. “Rage, rage at the dying of the light.” Even today, it still stings to feel her loss. But I appreciate the sting because it reminds me that she is still in my heart. As someone else said above, do take it one day at a time. The light will return, and in a new form. You’ll see it in Madeline’s face. You’ll smell it in something that reminds you of Liz. You’ll feel it in the places you two loved to be, even if right now you don’t want to be in them. My lovely niece is now in her mid twenties, living an adventure in NYC. We’re proud of her. My brother has remarried to a wonderful woman who is mother to his first daughter and gave life to a second daughter. The light returned.
Matt & Madeline…I just read your happy and sad story in the Minneapolis Star and Tribune this morning. (My husband told me I had to read it…) I was sooooooo touched by your story, I felt I had to write you. Even with the horrible tragedy of losing your loving wife, and friend, it sounds like you have soooooooooo many caring and loving friends and family members who will be there to help you along your lifes path with Madeline. You are truly a lucky man, Matt, even though at times, I’m sure it doesn’t seem that way to you !!!! I have one “motherly” suggestion for you, Matt, and I hope with all my heart, you will heed my suggestion !!!! Read to your beautiful baby girl every day of her life !!!!! Start now, when you are feeding her her bottle…she will grow to love hearing your voice read to her, and it will be soooooo comforting and fun for both of you… You must get yourself a copy of the book, “On the Night You Were Born”, by Nancy Tillman…It was written for you, Liz and Madeline… It starts out, “On the night you were born, the moon shone with such wonder that the stars peeked in to see you and the night wind wispered, “Life will never be the same.” And it won’t Matt…your life will never be the same…it will only get better !!!!!!! Please get the book for you and Madeline to read, I know Liz would love it !!!!!! The 3 of you will be in my thoughts and prayers every day… Please read to that beautiful baby girl… Hugs from Nana Mary in Minnesota
Matt~
FUCK! That is the only word and it still isn’t a strong enough adjective. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Matt, Liz, & Madeline,
I just read the story this morning and it brought me to tears. I am very sorry for your lost of your wife and friend but congratulations to your beautiful daughter. She is such blessing and God brought her into this world for a special reason. Matt, Liz, & Madeline, you all will always be in my prayers.
Jenny from MN
Dear Matt,
My heart goes out to you and Madeline. I have no way of knowing what you are going through or the depth of your loss. It is heart warming to hear of your love for Liz. It’s obvious she will always be with you. It is because of this that your little girl will know her mother. May I suggest that you create a small album of photos of you and Liz that your daughter can carry with her where ever she goes. You can find small photo albums that are baby proof and made specifically for children. They hold about 6 photos. Madeline will bring you more joy than you can ever imagine. The two of you are in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you for sharing your story. What a wonderful way for you to work through these trying times. Sincerely, Vicki
Matt,
Your courage is truly amazing and life will go on. Memories will be shared and new ones created. There is a young man in Albertville, MN who is going through the exact same thing you are, just months before. His wife gave birth to a beautiful baby, and while at the hospital, she had a blood clot and passed quickly. He is now left with memories of his beautiful bride, just as you are, with many new memories from a beautiful baby.
My Sunday morning took an unexpected turn when I decided to read the Sunday Star Tribune. I have not gotten your or your family out of my thoughts since.
Life is scary. . . What happened to Liz proves that in a heartbeat, your entire world can change. Thank you for inviting us along for your journey, and please know that you are never alone.
I am deeply sorry for your loss.
Hi Matt & Madeline~
I have learned of your story thru the Star Tribune when i routinely check in to see whats happening back home in MN. I went to Mtka High and stumbled upon the keywords of the article about your blog.
I am sorry for the loss you must feel, but I am also inspired by the people who have reached out and helped you emotionally and otherwise.
May you always carry with you the love you and Liz share. May you always remember that you have been loved by Liz, probably a love that not many people get to encompass in their lifetime. Your story tells me that you and Liz had a love that so many strive to find in their life. Its not fair that it has turned out this way. But you will survive. Madeline is there to see you thru it.
May you always be strong enough to cry and laugh between the moments.
I’m so sorry for your loss.
My own mother died when I was little and my father was left to raise me and my brother. There’s a certain instinct that takes over when something like this happens, you grieve and then get to a point after some years where it’s easier to just not talk very much about the person who’s died. It can be so painful. But I know from personal experience that Madeline will want to know as much as possible about her mom. I hope that you will always remember to give her the gift throughout her life of telling her about her mom.
There was a book that I treasured when I was little: How it Feels When a Parent Dies by Jill Krementz. take care.
my friend matt…i hope it’s okay to call you that, i can’t even tell you how sad i am for you and your sweet little girl…i, too, lost my Mom, but i was 37 and she was 59 and i had the great joy of growing up with her. i am praying for you and your sweet baby, that she, too, will always know the love her mother had for her, to stay in bed for so long, to hope for her and plan for her, that she will grow up with a father who loves her so dearly now, and will only love her more as times passes….that you will find the part of your life that remembering doesn’t hurt and letting go isn’t so impossible to consider.
God bless you and your little daughter.
Matt,
We have never met. A friend sent me your site. I have spent the last hour reading about your precious wife and your amazing daughter. My water broke at 30 week and I delivered my son at 31w 5 days. We were in the NICU for 33 days (because girls are simply far superior to boys!) and I saw things in those weeks on bedrest and in the NICU that people should not see. Everyone thinks about pregnancy and the birth of a new baby as a joyous occasion, and while that is so often the case, sometimes babies and mommies don’t make it.
I wanted to tell you that I think you are incredible. The fact that you blog all of this, that you are honest and able to feel things and talk about them is truly a gift, and one that shows that Liz is never too far from you. I wish you peace and hope that you and Maddie continue to be surrounded by your loving family.
I hope to keep reading that every day brings you a little less sadness and that Maddie brings you so much joy.
Matt,
I had just heard about your story today in the Star Tribune. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I almost lost my life because of a pulmonary embolism after giving birth to a stillborn baby boy.
I can relate to it a little. I know it’s even worse when you lose someone you love so dear.
I think you are a very strong man and I hope you and Madeline can have some wonderful times together. I know that Liz will always be looking down on you two and she’ll be there waiting with open arms when God calls your names. God bless you and that little girl of yours. Take care and I’m sure you know that there are so many people thinking of you.
Matt, I just read your story. I am a labor and delivery nurse. I am so moved by your story, brings tears to my eyes when I think of it. I will pray for you and your family. Liz was a beauty. may the love of your daughter gently remind you of the love youhave for Liz. God bless and hang in there.
I am so sorry for your loss. May you fnd strength.
Hi … just another complete stranger here, who opened her paper this morning and was just struck by your devastating story. I was captivated and couldn’t stop myself for reading further, even though the tears were streaming down my face and into my morning cereal. I’m 30, married in 2005 to the man I have been with for over a decade. Close to being pregnant with our first, I guess I just can’t even wrap my thoughts around what you must be going through. All of the planning and hoping, waiting and dreaming …
My heart and prayers go out to you and your family. Your daughter is gorgeous and fortunately you two still have each other. Liz will always been looking down on you two and watching over to protect you both. With peace and love from Minnesota.
Matt,
WOW!!! Your story just hit me like a freight train. I am awaiting the birth of my first child at the end of July, and I now realize how much I have taken the pregnancy process for granted. After reading your story, I couldn’t help but hug my pregnant wife. Although it’s natural to fear the unknown, I have tried not to think about “bad” things during the pregnancy, just so that I wouldn’t drive myself crazy. Then I read your story, and now I can’t help but wonder…what if?
I debated about whether to have my wife read the article in the Star Trib, because I didn’t want to scare her. Yet, I felt that this was as good a time as any to discuss this very difficult topic. Moreover, I wanted to know if she had special instructions, if, god forbid she was taken like Liz was.
After reading your story, she sobbed uncontrollably. It was made worse by the photo of the chapel at Lakewood, where we held her father’s funeral service a few year’s ago. She asked if I thought I could care for a newborn and grieve at the same time. I said, “I really don’t know. But like the guy in the article said, our little one would have definitely lost the better parent.”
I am sure that what happened to Liz is incredibly rare. And on so many levels, you were handed a really $*@!&# deal. Part of me wants to say I’m sorry, and another part wants to say thank you. Thank you for telling your story. It has made us realize how dangerous this process can sometimes be. More importantly, it has helped us recognize how meaningless the little things we have been fretting over are, like whether the bedding will match the wall color.
You and your family will certainly be in our prayers. And you can bet that I will be thinking a great deal about you, as I anxiously wait for my little one to arrive. Best wishes!
Matt
I am not sure if you’ll remember me. I worked at Learning Tree in Hopkins and would babysit you and Nicholas, eventually becoming friends with your mother Sarah although we lost touch along time ago. I came across you story in the paper today and I am sorry for your loss and congratulate you on a beautiful baby girl. She was a beautiful person with a gorgeous smile. You have a way with words and through them I believe your daughter will know her mother. My thoughts are with you and your family.
I read your story in the MPLS StarTribune this evening and wow,I got the chills and tears started streaming down my face. I send my love and prayers,I know you don’t know me but as a wife and mother my heart aces. I lost a baby girl 8yrs ago last month and I like to think that I know it’s not Liz’s baby and Liz not my “Shelby”s mom but maybe Liz will be able to hold her for me and know the feeling of holding a baby girl. I hope that didn’t just sound really dumb,just wanted you to know that I really believe Liz is in heaven and will give me baby a kiss for me. She sounds like she would be that kind of gal. I am so sorry life went down this rotton path. Your wife was beautiful and ya know,she always will be. And your daughter will have great pictures of her mom to look at as she grows older. I wish I could do something to make everything all better and bring Liz back to you and my baby back to me but I know I can’t and man that stinks. So hold on to those memories of Liz and the love for her in your heart and be the best dad you can to your little darling. I do have a girl who will be 7 this wed,and she is the best thing ever. Girls are wonderful and little dickens too. I’m sure you will be protective as me and my husband are. God Bless you and e-mail anytime you would like. Deann Larson(MPLS, MN) (not sure if my e-mail will show up for you??)
Matt,
Thank you for sharing yourself, your beautiful wife and your absolutely gorgeous baby girl with the world. I love the pic of you wearing little Maddie in a sling – my hubby never mastered my slings (even though I had abou 15 of them!!) with any of our boys! Ü Good for you!
Liz lives on in your sweet lil’ girl! Love her to pieces. In doing so, you will continue to honor Liz’ memory forever!
Praying that God will hold you and your Maddie in His comforting arms.
Dear Matt – I am so sorry for your loss and know exactly what you’re going through. My husband died unexpectedly in September ‘07 and our daughter was only 9 months old. He had a heart attack in his sleep while we were at a hotel in northern MN for my sister’s wedding. He was 30 yrs old with no prior health problems, exercised every day, was an athlete in college, didn’t eat badly – a complete fluke. Now I’m alone raising our daughter and am heartbroken that she’ll never know her dad. You seem to be doing an amazing job of getting through these first weeks. People told me that I did too, but to be honest, looking back it’s all a haze and I didn’t start to come out from under that cloud until about a month ago. If you ever want to talk, let me know. It’s nice to have someone around who really, truly understands the situation of losing someone so suddenly when it’s supposed to be the happiest time of your life with your first child.
Good luck and I’ll be sending positive thoughts your way and Madeline’s.
Regards,
Kristen (& Brooke)
Dear Matt~I, too, am a complete stranger, from Minnesota, but was moved by your story in the StarTrib. I am so sorry for you and Madeline’s loss. You seem very strong and you will be fine. Time doesn’t ease the pain, but in time you will learn to manage it. I will keep you in my daily thoughts and prayers. Please keep us posted.
God Bless
I wanted to write and tell you that your story has just touched my heart in so many ways. I am filled with sorrow for your loss, but at the same time, joy for the precious little mircale you call Madeline! Let me just tell you, she is absolutely beautiful! I hope that you are able to seek comfort in your little girl and cherish every moment with her. Your wife lives on in little Madeline – and just wait, as she gets older, and starts to develop her little personality, you will see even more of Liz! Her days of discovery will become yours as well! It sounds like you have a wonderful support system – lots of friends & family, not to mention strangers, reaching out to you! It is so wonderful to know that in a world that is sometimes so complicated and seems cluttered with downfalls, there is still so much good, and that the simplest of gestures can mean so much.
My thoughts & prayers are with you, and I look forward to continuing to read your blog and watch your little miracle grow and change with each passing day!
Hi Matt,
Just wanted to let you know I’m there with you brother. The first one’s the toughest, if you do get to experience the joy of another they get easier. Until one day when you have 4 and it’s so easy you just forget who made it all possible. Then in a second she’s gone, before your eyes, dying in your arms. And you’re there all alone with the little ones, and it’s not even real for along time. When it becomes real I’ll let you know.
http://www.legacy.com/startribune/obituaries.asp?Page=LifeStory&PersonID=103923315
Take care and walk in God’s arms my friend.
Dear Matt-
I am so sorry. I read the story yesterday; and you and Madeline are in my thoughts and prayers. You obviously have a great support team, along with a beautiful daughter!! I wish you peace and happiness!! You and your family will be kept in our prayers.
Dear Matt,
There are no words that I can say to ease the pain your going through and will continue to go through. What I can say is that with time you will heal. It takes a strong man with a lot of character to continue on like you are doing and not quit. After all you have a beautiful little girl who needs you!! No one understands why things happen, but we have to stay strong and keep going. Maybe your going through this to touch the life of someone else or to help someone down the road who might go through this same thing. God loves you and is there for you. In the quiet times when little Madeline is sleeping – just remember that God is only a prayer away. He is the one who can truely give you the peace and strength to get through this incredibly hard time in your life.
With much love and prayer for you and your family.
Matt:
God bless you, Liz, and Madeline. No doubt that Liz is in heaven! You and Liz will always be two of the most amazing people that Jamie and I will ever know. We have been balling our eyes out since we say the article in the MLPS paper. It seems like just yesterday hanging out with you and Liz in London.
You are an amazing man! Madeline is a gorgeous miracle! Liz will always be an amazing lady!
I am so sad for you and Madeline! Jamie and I are praying for you everyday. We have 3 kids and I cannot imagine what you are going through.
If you ever, ever need anything, please ask. Jamie and I will do anything.
God bless you!!
Kip Knippel, SJU 1999
Hi Matt -
I too am another stranger who was moved to tears after reading your story in the Star Tribune. I was so touched by your courage. I will keep you and that beatiful baby girl in my thoughts and prayers. I wish you continued strength and solice as you deal with your loss.
I share with you the Dragonfly Story, which has comforted me many times.
In the bottom of an old pond lived some grubs who could not understand why none of their group ever came back after crawling up the lily stems to the top of the water. They promised each other that the next one who was called to make the upward climb would return and tell what had happened to him. Soon one of them felt an urgent impulse to seek the surface; he rested himself on the top of a lily pad and went through a glorious transformation which made him a dragonfly with beautiful wings. In vain he tried to keep his promise. Flying back and forth over the pond, he peered down at his friends below. Then he realized that even if they could see him they would not recognize such a radiant creature as one of their number.
The fact that we cannot see our friends or communicate with them after the transformation which we call death is no proof that they cease to exist.”
Crista
Hi Matt,
I’m another stranger… just someone in MN who read your story, flocked to your site, and fought back tears while reading your words. I don’t know where you and Liz were/are with your faith… It isn’t a question I expect an answer to. But I do have to share that God is with you, and he is our great comfortor. You can tell him how mad you are and ask him for the peace and guidance you are going to need as a dad, and he will gladly give it to you. I can’t answer all the big questions like “why did God do this”… no one can. Bad things happen to good people all the time. We have to trust that everything will work out for the good of those who believe. Know you are not alone. I won’t Bible story you to death, but please go and pick it up and read it on your own. I know it would bring comfort.
I just found your blog today. I know there’s little to help ease the pain, but hang in there. Even sympathetic blog comments from strangers can sometimes do a little good. Madeline is beautiful, btw.
Matt — I am so sorry for your tragedy. My heart aches for you and your family. I was also personally shaken by your story in the Strib as I had a clot one year ago after delivering my son. I called the Strib after reading your story and they posted my story on their Body Talk blog to help raise more awareness. The reason I called them is I have been working to raise awareness about clot risks in women of childbearing age. Awareness of the issue and awareness of prevention tactics are low. I hope we (we as in the non profit I volunteer with) can make a difference through awareness and education. I want you to know that your story will serve as my motivation to keep working to drive positive change. Also, by sharing your story you’ve likely already helped other pregnant women and those who will be in the future know to be aware of the risks. Please try to take a little comfort in the words of so many strangers who wish you and your family solace.
Dear Matt
I’m from Minnesota. I read your story in the Star and Tribune and it just breaks my heart. I’am so sorry for your loss. Life will get better in time. Just keep cherishing fond memories of you and Liz and what you two created a BEAUTIFUL daughter-Madeline. Take Care Cindy B.
Oh my heart goes out to you and your new baby girl. I’m so sad for you.
Hug that little gal.
Lyns
I don’t know you, but i wanted to pass along my sincere condolonces to you on the passing of your wife Liz. God bless you and your Baby Girl. I have been weeping while reading your story, take care……….
I just wanted to add, i am from Nova Scota Canada.
Matt, I’m yet another stranger; I got your name and blog from a friend of mine whose baby died when she was 36 weeks pregnant, and she heard about you from a friend in California. I am so very, very sorry for your wife’s death. My heart goes out to you. I am widowed too–my husband died very unexpectedly, in a bicycle accident, when our baby was 10 months old–so I understand some of what you’re going through, wondering what the hell just happened and trying to make it though each day a moment at a time.
I won’t try to offer you platitudes. One thing that has helped me (as much as anything can help) is to find other people who were widowed young, who understand what I’m going through. I was 27 and had been married for only 19 months when my husband died, so the younger the widow, the better, for me. I found a local support group here in Portland, OR that’s for young widows and widowers, and it’s been an amazing outlet of support and for honest grieving. If you can’t fine a group where you live (or if you’re not interested in one), another phenomenal source of comfort and support was an online bulletin board for young widows and widowers that I found about 6 weeks after my husband’s death. It’s called the Young Widow Bulletin Board (YWBB), and you can access it and find more information at http://www.youngwidow.org.
If you ever want to communicate with someone who’s been there and is still living through the death of their spouse, feel free to email me anytime. I also recently started writing a blog about my widowhood, if you’re interested in other people’s real-world, day-to-day experiences of it. It’s at http://crashcoursewidow.blogspot.com/.
Take care of yourself, and above all, be gentle with yourself.
Candice
I have read a few entries so far and am sitting here crying my eyes out for your beautiful family. Your site was linked through babycenter and I have read your story and all I can say is I am so sorry and I will keep you in my prayers.
I am so incredibly sorry.
Matt: I’m a little late to your blog, but I just got caught up. I wanted to let you know that I’m thinking of you and Madeline. You have an extremely beautiful baby! It’s wonderful that you’re sharing your experience. (I’m a new parent, as well, and when everyone tells you “Time flies! They grow up so fast,” they mean it! You will treasure these memories and pictures and what you’ve written. Hopefully, all the people who are reading along with you can help bear the heavy weight of the tragedy and make it ever so much lighter for you. I also believe that you are giving many people the wonderful gift of being able to help you and Madeline. Best wishes to you and your entire family.
Matt: I am also a complete stranger, I have been reading your blog and I see you are doing a wonderful job with Madeline, she is a beautiful baby girl. I will keep you both in my prayers.
Hi Matt – My husband and I are praying for you and Madeline. She is gorgeous, and so blessed to have someone so loving as her father. As she grows and does something so fun & clever that only Liz can appreciate as much as you do, just remember that Liz is there with you sharing in your delight. May God bless you all!
Hi Matt,
A friend of mine on Livejournal posted the link to your blog in her journal and I’m glad she did. I’m truly sorry for your loss. I lost my mother when I was 11 and it’s going to be tough on Madeline, but 1 piece of advice — please, please remember everything you can about Liz and write it down in a book, notepad, anything for your daughter. She will be so greatful that, even though she didn’t get to meet her mother or grow up with her, at least she’ll be able to have that book forever & know exactly who her mommy was.
I hope you can pull through! Again, so sorry for your loss. =[
Oh my goodness there are just no words. What a stunning and beautiful wife you had, and what a stunning and beautiful tribute you have in this website. I am so sorry for your losses, there are just no words to comfort anyone in that position. What a beautiful little girl you have there! Keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep breathing, and maybe someday everything won’t feel so foreign….take care of yourself!
I am so sorry.
You are incredibly strong. Madeline will be just fine. I am with a doubt certain she will know all about her mother. You will be sure of it I know.
She can hear you. And you will be together again. Families Are Forever.
Matt, I’m so sorry for your loss. You and your daughter will be in my prayers.
A friend just recently showed me your site. While being heartbroken for you is a given – I am struck by all of the wonderful people holding and loving your daughter – she is going to be a strong and wonderful person. I saw your note on formula and smarter kids – screw that. Both my boys had formula and they’re going to be loving and smart – and so is your Madeline.
I am president of the National Alliance for Thrombosis and Thrombophilia, a patient and family organization made up of people like you. On behalf of everyone at NATT, our deepest condoleces for your loss. You have a beautiful daughter and I hope she brings you great joy as she grows up.
HI Matt,
Your friends Steph and Jeff just told me about your tragic news. Do you know about mine? I lost my husband unepxectedly 7 months ago, age 33. My heart ached to hear another going through what I’m going. I wanted to pass this along to you. If you would like to get in touch with me, please ask Steph/Jeff for my contact information. Take care. Susan Lau
What Grieving People Want You to Know
By Virginia A. Simpson, Ph.D
1. I am not strong. I’m just numb. When you tell me I am strong, I feel that you don’t see me.
2. I will not recover. This is not a cold or the flu. I’m not sick. I’m grieving and that’s different. I will not always be grieving as intensely, but I will never forget my loved one and rather than recover, I want to incorporate his life and love into the rest of my life. That person is part of me and always will be, and sometimes I will remember him with joy and other times with a tear. Both are okay.
3. I don’t have to accept the death. Yes, I have to understand that it has happened and it is real, but there are just some things in life that are not acceptable.
4. Please don’t avoid me. You can’t catch my grief. My world is painful, and when you are too afraid to call me or visit or say anything, you isolate me at a time when I most need to be cared about. If you don’t know what to say, just come over, give me a hug or touch my arm, and gently say, “I’m sorry.” You can even say, “I just don’t know what to say, but I care, and want you to know that.”
5. Please don’t say, “Call me if you need anything.” I’ll never call you because I have no idea what I need. Trying to figure out what you could do for me takes more energy than I have. So, in advance, let me give you some ideas:
— Bring food.
— Offer to take my children to a movie or game so that I have some moments to myself.
— Send me a card on special holidays, birthdays (mine, his or hers), or the anniversary of the death, and be sure and mention her name. You can’t make me cry. The tears are here and I will love you for giving me the opportunity to shed them because someone cared enough about me to reach out on this difficult day.
— Ask me more than once to join you at a movie or lunch or dinner. I may so no at first or even for a while, but please don’t give up on me because somewhere down the line, I may be ready, and if you’ve given up, then I really will be alone.
6. Try to understand that this is like I’m in a foreign country where I don’t speak the language and have no map to tell me what to do. Even if there were a map, I’m not sure right now I could understand what it was saying. I’m lost and in a fog. I’m confused.
7. When you tell me what I should be doing, then I feel even more lost and alone. I feel bad enough that my loved one is dead, so please don’t make it worse by telling me I’m not doing this right.
8. Please don’t call to complain about your husband, your wife, or your children. Right now, I’d be delighted to have my loved one here no matter what they were doing.
9. Please don’t tell me I can have other children or need to start dating again. I’m not ready. And maybe I don’t want to. And besides, what makes you think people are replaceable? They aren’t. Whoever comes after, will always be someone different.
10. I don’t even understand what you mean when you say, “You’ve got to get on with your life.” My life is going on, but it may not look the way you think it should. This will take time and I never will be my old self again. So please, just love me as I am today, and know, that with your love and support, the joy will slowly return to my life. But I will never forget and there will always be times that I cry.
There really are no words. Just please know you and your family has our thoughts, prayers, and sincerest condolences.
Hi Matt,
Just another stranger inundating your comments page with support. I’m from Minneapolis but I found out about your story through my blog on Tumblr. There’s this whole dashboard feature where you read the entries of bloggers that you’re “following” and a blogger that I was following from Illinois wrote about your blog and since you’re from MN, I was instantly intrigued. Funny how you get connected to some people. ANYWAY, I’ve been reading through your entries and first of all, your daughter is absolutely beautiful. She will most certainly have your wife’s good looks because from the few pictures I’ve seen, Liz was also absolutely beautiful. I want you to know that, as many others have said before me, you are in my thoughts and prayers. Your words are beautiful and heartbreaking and inspiring and thoughtful and bittersweet and a hundred thousand other adjectives. I am so, so deeply sorry for your loss. I don’t know how you are doing it, but I’m so lucky to be able to read about your journey and silently, anonomously, support you through your healing. Thank you for your words. I don’t have the right words to comfort you at all, but thank you for sharing your words.
I know that there is nothing obviously to say that will help this situation!!! But I do want to point out that you have a beautiful piece of liz… She will grow to make faces like liz and possible look like her… You will have a constant reminder of her… Some people don’t have that! for this you can be thankful… but again i am sorry. madeline is a beautiful child!
I’m just another stranger who found your website through word of mouth. I’m not going to tell you how your story makes me feel because it doesn’t matter what I feel or how I can relate – I just want you to know my thoughts, prayers, good vibes, tears, smiles, etc. are all with you and Madeline. I will be following your blog to watch Madeline grow and to watch your journey into fatherhood. All my best, and I mean that.
I heard about your story on the nest.com and was just so touched by your astounding strength. You will definately be in my toughts and I pray you find peace knowing liz is in a better place. Madeline is precious and a true gift. Best wishes.
I am so very sorry for our loss. That is the most trite thing I have ever written, but I don’t have any wise words or profound statement that can ease your grief. I don’t know if anyone does.
Sending you love, sending you peace, sending you hope. :hug:
Matt,
Thank you for sharing your story. There are many people out here thinking of you and Madeline. Our prayers and thoughts are with you. Happy 7th week Birthday to Medeline!!! Keep growing out of those clothes, beautiful!
Matt,
First I am very sorry for your loss. I’ve lost my brother and my father so I know what you’re going through. Just always remember that GOD will never ever let you down so just hang in there.
High school sweethearts, married, planned for their first baby, 11 YEARS OF LIFE SHARED, then TRAGIC THINGS HAPPENED!.
They dated 4 years, got married, waited 5 years to start a family. As best as it can be, all things were done in the “right” way. I could not have asked for a better son-in-law to love my daughter and granddaughter. To love them completly and soulfully.
Our Madilyn Grace was born in March 2007. In July my daughter got a call from the police department, right away she knew something bad had happened. Her husband was killed in a traffic accident. He had left work at noon, because he was not feeling well. A car tried to pass on the shoulder of the road, and caused a horrific accident, he was killed instantly. He had called her at 12:43 (cell phone records) and they spoke briefly. The first 911 call went in at 12:54 (police records). She was not on the phone with him when the wreck happened (thank GOD).
The next few weeks are a blurr to us all. But I do remember her telling me, MOM, What do I do now? My life was planned! We were going to buy a bigger house. Have another baby. What do I do? EVERYTHING has changed. I watched her just sitting there numb, I watched her cry, I cried with her, for her, for my granddaughter, and for my loss as well. I cannot think of a more tragic situation than what you, and my daughter have gone through. NOW I cry for you and your Madeline, for your loss as well.
She found your story and forward it to me. She said that it has touched her so deeply, to know that she actually KNOWS what your going through. IT SUCKS. Once believing that no one could possibly understand her pain, I now know that someone does. I told her that I could never understand the hurt she has, But I can cry with her, as long as it takes, I will share that pain, I would take it all for her if I could. I HATE IT. I DESPISE IT. ITS NOT FAIR, AND LIFE RIPPED HER OFF. sounds a little bitter and angry huh? Well, its ok to think something sucks. Its your actions that count. Get up everyday, do the best you can, and it still sucks. Still hurts, still miss them, and feels awful.
But, we go on. We still have to breath. Still have to eat. Still have to work, And yes laugh. We still have Our Madi, and she still has a, very loving, determined, parent that recognizes that God gave her a part of her husband first, because He knew thats what it would take to get her through it.
We will be watching your story, as it is so close to our own.
hi matt,
i knew liz in college and while we weren’t close we chatted now and then and had at least one class together.
everything about her sparkled. whether it was her intellect, her personality, her face…
i pray that you and madeline are able to find some comfort even in your immense grief.
You hang on cowboy. It’s always worst for those left behind. Last year my husband and i lost our daughter Emi at 22 wks gestation. This year, just a few days ago, we lost our second daughter Daniella at 23 wks gestation.
These tragedies happen – just like that! No waning, no prep, no instructions on how to survive. But we will.
We are left behind for a reaon. I am devastated beyond words for me, for my husband, for you.
Life will somehow go on. I will hold you and Madeline in my prayers.
Hi Matt,
My wife died May 8th of a pulmonary embolism three days after the birth of our second child, Audrey. So here I am, a widower with a 2 year old and a 1 week old. I’m so fucking scared. I hope things are going ok for you. If you ever want to chat shoot me an email. I can’t promise I’ll make you feel any better, but maybe we can share some helpful info?
Best wishes,
-Phil
Just saw your story on Story of My Life and left a comment for you. I’m so sorry for your loss Matt.
This poem comes to mind
Parting
My life closed twice before its close;
It yet remains to see
If Immortality unveil
A third event to me,
So huge, so hopeless to conceive,
As these that twice befell.
Parting is all we know of heaven,
And all we need of hell.
Oh, Matt. There are no words. I am so sorry for your loss.
I found your blog and am very sorry for your loss though I must say is sounds like you are doing a great job with Madeline! I was also on bedrest for about 8 weeks before my little girl was born at 38 weeks. After reading about Liz’s experience I have realized once again how lucky we were to have both of us come out of it happy and healthy. I sometimes wonder if bedrest does more harm than good. I am thinking of all three of you and will never forget any of you.
I don’t even know what to say…I’m sorry seems not to be enough. After reading your Blog I can say your daughter has the most amazing father a child can ask for! Your love and devotion to her can be sceen even threw the interent. I wish you both the best life has to offer.
I am a Mom of 3 and can honestly say when life looks like it is tough and you feel the day just won’t end…..I sit quietly and just look at them or remember something they did and realize how truly blessed I am. I hope in the days ahead you will look ahead and see how your little girl is such a blessing and hope that gets you through the rougher times.
Great big hugs ….God Bless.
I am so sorry for your loss. I know baby Madeline would have wanted to hold her mommy. My heart goes out to you.
wow…firstly i must say ur doing great and reading your blog brought me to tears….Madeline is so so cute. I canot begin to say how sorry i am for your loss….reading through i noticed you went to a polish restaurant few days ago (im Polish
) and then reading this bit i notice Madeline was born on 3/24 by c section and so was my son…
I’m sure Liz is looking over and she can see how great you’re doing and she must be so proud…
All the best hun and kisses to your gorgeous daughter!
)))
If you’re ever looking for a husband for her he’s ready to move to LA any time! lol
we hate the weather here in London
x
I am so, so, so sorry for your loss.
My husband and I lost our son, stillborn at 27 weeks. This was just over two months ago, but feels like yesterday…and like ten years ago, all at the same time.
My heart goes out to you, in shared grief. I am so sorry you have lost your beautiful wife.
Tamara
I know you’ve heard it so many times by now, BUT…
I am so very sorry for your loss. You and your daughter will be in my thoughts and prayers.
My deepest sympathies.
I am so, so sorry.
How sad, this makes me cry. I’m so very sorry.
I am so sorry for the loss of your wife, Liz and Madeline’s mummy. Words are just so inadequate. There is nothing to ease the pain of grieving for a loved one be they the love of your life or your child.
Hi Matt, I am sorry for all of the pain and confusion in your life. I find real hope in the fact that there is someone out there who can go through such an experience and not curl up into a ball like I probably would. Your daughter is beautiful, and I wanted to say that I think it is great that you are sharing this blog with her, as well as all of us random strangers who have found it by chance. It is a lovely legacy to leave her, to show her someday just how much you and her mom love her, as well as a great way to share some of the memories that you have of your time with Liz. Madeline is very lucky to have someone like you to take care of her. Warm regards, Angela
I found your site via begayaboutit.blogspot.com – I wonder if you’re tired of random strangers telling you how sorry they are for your loss. I really want to say something encouraging and uplifting, but I have no idea what to say to affect that feeling. So I’ll just say I’m sorry.
You’re going bravely into uncharted waters. Your daughter is perfect and beautiful and will bring you joys you didn’t imagine were possible. Even your dumbest jokes will be hilarious. When you’re weak, that little thing will be strong enough for both of you.
*offers up the best cyber-almost-completely-anonymous dude/bro hug that can be offered.
Yet another stranger here, led by the unlimited linking of the web. And another person crying into their keyboard. Words seem so small and useless sometimes, and I wish they had a magical power that I could say something more using them. I cannot fathom what you are going through,but know you are in my heart and my prayers as is Maddy and all your family.
Your daughter is just exquisite – I’m so very sorry that Liz can’t be with you both.
I am so sorry!
Once again you have a total stranger telling you how deeply sorry they are. My pregnant daughter sent me your blog and I am touched. I have no idea what you are feeling and would never try to tell you I do. I had a very special father. When I was 14 he and my mother divorced. A year later I moved in with him. He was always there for me. I lost him three years ago to cancer, and I am still devastated to this day. There is something very special about a father and his daughter, and now you are a part of that. Once again I am sorry for your tremendous loss. God bless.
Words can’t begin to express how much you and your story have touched me. My husband is in the kitchen cooking us dinner and as we were talking about our day I told him yours, Liz and Madeline’s story. Thinking of you all and sending prayers and hugs.
Matt and Madeline-
Words cannot express the sadness I feel for your loss. I hurt for both of you, complete strangers to me. Matt-I think it is so amazing that you are keeping this blog. This will be so special for Madeline to have one day. You’re an amazing man and father. Liz and Madeline are so blessed to have you.
My thoughts and prayers go out to you. I’ve bookmarked this blog and I plan to check in on both of you from time to time.
Matt & Madeline,
My husband and my two baby girls may have been in your same shoes right about now if it were not for luck and a will to live. I suffered a post partum hemorrhage that lead to severe blood loss and resulted in two attempts at repairing the source (due to a lacerated uterine artery) and left me with a resultant hysterectomy. Altho my road of recovery & healing had been difficult I have made it through….
I really cannot express in any number of words how saddened I am to read the story of your beautiful wife Liz. I am so deeply sorry and I wish for you only good & wonderful things as you and Madeline so deserve it. I cannot imagine what you’ve been through and what the journey onward will take you but I am certain that your little girl is a lucky soul for having a wonderful, strong dad who will guide her in her life’s journey.
xoxo,
Mare
I’m so sorry. I heard your story at Lori’s. (Fairy Tales and Margaritas.)
Wishing you all the best for the future.
I’m sorry for what you have gone through. I have a 9 month old little boy and as I read your blogs I can’t imagine not being able to hold him, see him, be with him. I know Liz is looking down on you and smiling. Saying what a great and awesome dad you are. Thanks for sharing your true story with us.
Matt,
I’m so sorry for you and your daughter. Life can just be incredibly hard and sometimes we have nothing we can do but suffer under the blows. You will get through this because you have to, but some moments will be desperately hard. When those times come, just concentrate on doing some very simple task that needs to be done, like washing dishes or folding clothes. Those things can help you ignore the macro vision for a while and give you a little joy from the fact that you’re getting at least a little accomplished that needs to be. When you’re in the desert, every drop of water is precious.
You and your daughter will be in our family’s prayers.
Matt,
First and foremost, I am very sorry for your (and the world’s) loss of Liz. I managed to stumble across your blog as a result of the randomness of blogging and cyberland. I posted a link in my blog to yours and I really hope you don’t mind more people reading about it; I feel the need to pass it on to everyone I care about. If nothing else, your blog helps me in my darkest times and makes me love those close to me that much more. I love to read your posts and see your little girl grow.
Your dear little Madeline is one of the most beautiful babies I have ever laid eyes on; you are a wonderful father and you will have a very special bond. My dad has never wanted anything to do with me, but my mother had no problem loving me and taking care of me all on her own. Even though Liz is not there physically, she is looking down on you and Madeline. Although I am sure she misses you achingly as much as you both miss her, but I would guess she is smiling at you.
Your story continues to inspire me and I would like to help in anyway I can. I have something I would like to send to you, I hope the bank address is still okay.
Sorry if you have grown weary of strangers saying “sorry” like it will just change things. I just wanted to make sure that you know that the universe loves you; everyone I pass this on to loves you and Madeline, your awesome robot loves you (sorry, “awesome” and “robot” just sort of go together); I bet he fancies himself Madeline’s older brother. . .
Keep doing what you are doing.
Sending Love from Chicago. . . . .
Meredith
matt-
i’m not a person who cries very much. if ever. i just cried. i am crying. i am so touched by this story. and saddened. i have a son who is 20 months old. he’s sleeping right now and i have the urge to go and wake him up just so i can hug him.
i am so sorry.
you will be in my thoughts for a very long time.
best.
Matt, I found your blog via another blog today and my heart is just breaking for you.
My hubby and I have been battling infertility for 4 years now and this “story”, of your beautiful Liz and stunning Madeline have given me serious perspective.
You are an amazing man, you are an amazing father and I am inspired by you. May God Bless you and Madeline and may Liz smile down on you both.
Take care!
Sam
Hi Matt,
I don’t know what to say…which is odd since my husband and the father of my two very small children died on March 25th of a pulmonary embolism as well.
I want to say something to help you…I have no words. This fucking sucks, though, eh?
matt,
i just stumbled across your blog from a friend’s, and wanted to express my deepest regards and blessings. your strength, just in the writing of what’s on this one page, is immeasurably inspiring. your will to move forward and dedication to your daughter is truly incredible, and i only hope i have half the character you seem to have.
to liz.
d
I’ve been reading your blog for a few weeks now. I can’t say anything that hasn’t already been said. Just know that you’ve touched SO many people – as have Liz and Madeline.
I cry almost every time I read it, and I also laugh almost every time too. I think Madeline is an amazingly lucky girl to have you for her father and to have such an amazing support system. I wish she didn’t need it as much as she does and will – but it’s so good that she has it, and that YOU have it too.
My thoughts are with you and your family every day.
Sarah
Hi Matt.
Your story is sad, but beautiful. And it’s happy too.
My story is basically the same.
I’m brazilian and I have a blog too. To talk to my son, Francisco.
But, sorry, it’s in portuguese.
In january 17th 2007, I was in the eighth month of my pregnancy and i found my boyfriend dead at home. He was so happy waiting for Francisco. So happy. He had been dreaming about the day the baby would be born to know him.
I speak (a bad) english and can talk to you.
If you want. Madeline is so beautiful.
I wish you happiness. Madeline must be bringing you a lot of it.
Cristiana.
I just found you today. Wow, what a crazy story Matt. I really like how the everyone has been so gracious, blogging is the real deal I tell you. Well, let’s enjoy our first Father’s Day this Sunday. Cheers to you!
Matt, just heard about this. My heart truely goes out to all of you. I lost my husband last yr, 2 weeks after our daughter turned 5yo. Want you that for some reason, sleep is the hardest thing to get. Nap whenever you can. there’s so many emotions & unanswered questions. Madeline can know her Mom deeply. Keep pictures out, talk about her daily..funny things, how much she waited for her, things that remind you of her, her favorite places, all that good stuff. That’s what I do. Just get up, shower, brush your teeth, dress & the rest will be. try to go out some daily. Put the carrier on & go for a walk.
I will never be able to find the right words to say how sad I am that your wife never met your daughter. That brings the “life it’s not fair” to a whole new level. Good for you for stepping up and taking care of Madeline. You are already a much better father than a lot of guys out there, your baby is lucky to have you.
Hi Matt and beautiful Madeline,
I read and heard about your story via Glamour. Like beautiful Liz, I have always wanted to be a mother, and will become elated when I do. (I’m 31 and I’m not getting any younger! lol) First of all, I would like to wish you a Happy 1st Father’s Day, Matt. I finally found the love of my life with my new husband, but I will not feel complete until we become parents.
A couple of years ago, a dear friend of the family, she was 26, found out she was pregnant. We were all excited, but early into her pregnancy, we found out that she had skin cancer. Unfortunately, her cancer spread to her brain and her lungs, and we were all fearful for her health as well as the baby’s. (with treatment). Luckily, beautiful Scarlett and her husband welcomed angelic Madison into the world, only to leave her daughter and husband 3 months later. Her husband has been raising beautiful Madison by himself for almost 2 years now. He has the support of his family and friends to be there for him. We celebrate Scarlett’s birthday and when Madison is old enough, we will tell her all the stories of her beautiful mother. You’ll do just fine, Matt. God bless you and Madeline. Happy Father’s Day.
i found you through storked! today. i’ve read many of your entries up to this point, with tears flowing.
you are doing an amazing job, and your daughter will be so proud of you. liz is watching you with a smile, i’m sure.
you and madeline are in my thoughts.
i just read your article on the glamour blog site. you are my hero. you are doing a fantastic job at parenting. i hope to be a good parent like you one day. you get the #1 father’s day award. madeline is a stunning baby and she is so fortunate to have you.
Hello, My name is Gabriella. I read your story on the glamour blog today. First I want to say how sorry I am for youur loss. I have heard the pulmonary embolisms can often be caused by prolonged periods of inactivity/ bed rest. Due to decresed bllod flow. The are often quite common in hospitals, where they are among the third leading cause of death. I recently read about this in an article published by a doctor from the Mayo Clinic. Do you think that might have been been a contributing factor in your wife’s case?
So, one of my doula clients sent me your site. I can’t even pretend I have any idea what to say. This is the kind of loss that we all can’t even imagine. I also suffered a loss of my 4 year old sister to cancer. It just fucking hurts. I have a business called “Outside the Box” – we do multi-sensory classes all over the place. I would love you and the baby to come. Check out the website and see if it is your “cup of tea”. It is amazing for babies (and parents). Also, and most importantly, we have 300+ moms in the Outside the Box network. . what do you need? I have several moms who would be more than happy to help you and Madeline with anything you need (myself included). Let me know. Time will heal. . . . somewhat. You have a great life to look forward to with Madeline. Please let me know how me and my moms can help.
Octavia
I’ve come here from Glamour. I wanted to say I was thinking of you, and thinking that I do know how you do it: one rises to the challenge, and it sounds like you are doing so MAGNIFICENTLY. I blogged for the whole of last year and found it cathartic beyond belief. The kindness of strangers never ceased to amaze me, & I found their support to be a pillar of strength during the bad times, so I hope you continue sharing your experiences. Meanwhile, good luck with your extraordinary adventure with beautiful Madeline. LG
Matt, I came across your story on glamour.com and just read your entire blog.
I just wanted to say that I am so very sorry for your loss, it sounds like your wife was an amazing woman.
I absolutely admire your strength and your dedication to your daughter.
Madeline is such a beautiful little girl and you are an amazing father, she’s very lucky to have a dad like you!!!!
I will definitely follow your story.
Happy early Father’s Day!
Best wishes,
Julia
terribly sad shit.
truly.
i’ve re read this post over the past few days.
wandered your site
and,
speaking as someone whose father died suddenly the day before her first birthday (an accident), one of the the best gifts to me was knowing how much my parents loved each other and me even before i was born.
This madeline will clearly know as i, a complete stranger, already know from reading your blog.
I’ll be following your blog. And it’s with a heavy heart that I read this today-I will keep you and Madeline in my prayers as you journey with her through her childhood.
I started reading and reading and reading. My heart hurts for you. That sinking feeling when anything that comes up that reminds you of who you’ve lost. The shock, the pain, the grief that’s overwhelming at times. I’ve lost 8 family members in 4 years. Somehow we get to the next day one awful day at a time. I don’t think it’s something I ever will say I got over, just something I survived. I will always ache and miss them. I’m so sorry, I read your story and I know my brother in law with his 3 kids feels similar after my sister died. A long illness, but home at the time and a nap and that’s it..There’s nothing right about a child not having their mother. Anyway, this is too long already, I’ll be following along and praying.
I just found this blog and I am so sorry for your loss. I have a lot of reading to do but this is something I plan to follow in my reader and my heart goes out to your family and you. A hug.
sometimes I really don’t like God
Matt, I just found your blog through a friend’s Facebook page. I am so sorry for your sadness and I want to give you a big hug. So, here you go ((((HUG))))
You, your daughter, your words and your photography are absolutely beautiful. Genuine human.
Hey There,
I have been reading your blogs for weeks now and I just can’t stop- I read and reread the posts and then I think…. My laptop has a virus so for now I’m forced to sneak peeks on my comp at work- the pix rarely open for some reason so I just imagine what might be going on in them…. I (in my 21 years of living) have come across a lot of sad and unfortunate events….. I have lost friends and family….. but I never had the courage to write it down and share it with the world the way you have… You opened up to complete starngers and I admire you for it….. I think that this is a wonderful way to be heard…. I will continue to read and perhaps in reading about you I will learn something more about myself. I am struggleing to find myself right now… there is so much I want to do…. so many goals and some I am reaching but some I am completely lost in… I’ll KIT
I am heartbroken for you. Loosing your beautiful wife.
x
ciara
Matt.
I found your site through Glamour.com I don’t usually read blogs but since yours was titled father of the year I decided to read on. Like I said on the glamour blog you are courageous man & you will find that for your daughter you will move mountains. She will provide you with strenght you did not know you had. Believe me that’s what my 2 babies do for me each and every day. Liz would be beyond proud of you.
Matt,
I found your blog through and Irish parenting website. I have never read a blog before.
You and your darlinglittle girl and your angel are in my thoughts and prayers. Your strenght is utterly amazing. I wish you endless love and utter joy through your daughter. I wish peace and love for you always.
Your daughter is just divine. It is an unnatural state to be in – but you are making such a wonderful family for your little girl. Hug her always and keep her close. She is a perfect reminder of true love.
Love and luck to you always.
dear matt,
i was given a link to your blog by a random reader on my own blog in regard to my post about my anger at God for the last 15+ years.
your blog is bittersweet with joy and pain, and my my heart goes out to you.
i cannot even imagine the pain and heartache you have experienced…
i hope you don’t mind if i continue to read your blog. ~gail
Hang in there; your story and your daughter have touched many lives. I believe your wife will always stay at your side as long as you and your baby need her. She will not pass over until she is sure of your safety.
Matt, a link to your blog was posted on a website I frequent today. I have spent most of today reading your writing and I am amazed by you. You seem to epitomize what so many of us look for in a partner and a father. I see why Liz chose you as a husband and father for Madeline. The love you shared with Liz radiates from the pictures you post.
Thank you for opening yourself up so that even us strangers can offer support and encouragement. I am wishing you and your daughter all the best.
I am truly sorry for your loss. I can’t even imagine how horrible that was for you and still is. Your daughter is gorgeous. You are a great father and I truly admire your strength.
I just linked here through someone elses website. I am so overwhelmingly sorry for your loss, I just wanted you to know that.
Matt,
I found your blog through a friend. Like so many on here, I’m a stranger as well, but your story has moved me. Madeline… such a beautiful name for a beautiful baby… with a strong and courageous father to help her pave her way through this uncertain thing we call life. You’ve got an entire village behind you, and Madeline is going to grow up to love how her father always kept her mother’s memory alive.
Matt and Madeline
I also was shown this site from a friend that has been following everything about you and your family.
I am so sorry for your loss, my heart and soul goes out to the both of you. Matt, you really seem like a great dad keep up the great work it will all pay off. You have a beautiful family. I am so happy that you have friends and family to help you out when you need it. my prayers and thoughts are with you and your beautiful little girl. Take care and enjoying everyday with madeline.
I was also shown this site by a friend. I want to let you know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. You are doing a wonderful job bringing up your little one. She is beautiful.
I came across your blog through a blog buddy of mine. All I know to say is how very sorry I am. That was heartbreaking.
I have no idea how I stumbled on to this blog. It came to my blog through another blog, through another blog, through another blog. But, I feel like it was meant to find me- for many reasons.
There are no words in my vocabulary to express how deeply sorry I am for the loss that you and Madeline have had to endure. It just plain sucks. That is the simplest, truest, way I can put it.
So, I just got here, and I have a lot of catching up to do. I’d like to put a link to your blog on mine, if that is okay? I think maybe some of my readers would like to read about you, and Madeline, and Liz.
I wish you all good things. Madeline too.
Matt,
I just saw your story today via another blog i read….and i just wanted to say how sorry i am for your loss. your daughter is beautiful.
She was an angel.
I am so so terribly sorry. Keep writing about it, you’re touching so many people. All three of you.
Brother, may I join you for a moment and share with you the joy of being a survior of love and life. Today you are at a different place than you were when this hard day set your life in motion. We each are called to many many different things. As a single dad, I can share my same struggles with you. Should your heart be sad, I am there with you, understand we are all here together. Let us rise to this new challenge, let us face every difficult with great courage. The man you are called to be shall awaken and you shall stand as a bright light to this darkened world. My support and prayers are with you and your family, both here and those waiting for you.
Cliff (single dad of three)
Another complete stranger….friend
I came upon your blog through a private message board post. I just wanted to say that while my heart ached reading your story, I couldn’t help but smile the entire time. Your daughter is BEAUTIFUL (and she looks just like you and her mommy 
), and you are an INCREDIBLE dad! Sometimes it takes a terrible loss to teach us the most precious things in life. You and your daughter are one AWESOME team and you have inspired me just as I am sure you have inspired many. Thank you for sharing a glimpse of your and Madaline’s life with the rest of us. Many many blessings to you and your beautiful baby girl,
Jennifer P.
I found your story through a forum on whattoexpect.com I wanted to say how sorry I am for the loss of your beautiful wife and congratulate you on the wonderful life you are giving your daughter, Madeline. Your story is very inspiring and touches my heart.
I weep for you.
Hi Matt,
Thank you for sharing your story and continually updating your blog. I found you today and have read through everything on here. You are so strong and I am thinking about you and wishing you and your family nothing but the best. I’m so sorry for your loss and so happy for your gain. It’s hard to say Congratulations & With Deepest Sympathy at the same time, it’s harder to hear it. At any rate, I’m now subscribed to your blog & I just wanted to wish you well and tell you that you are doing a great job.
Linked to your page from another site. Your story truly touched my heart. My sweet baby girl was also born via c-section the morning of 3-24-08-so it really makes me think..what if? You seem to be a great guy who’s making the best of an unthinkable situation. Your little girl will thank you someday for your dedication and for keeping her mom’s spirit alive.
Dear Matt
I read about your blog in a very popular blog in Brazil. I came here to read about your story and I feel myselfo so touched, so sad, but I felt myself happy and I saw in your story a reason that we should never give up. Your daughter gives you this message.
May you have more and more wisdom to continue being a good father as you are. I will always stop by to say hello
A hug.
I am so sorry for your loss.
i happened to stumble across your blog from a friend’s site and was intridgued to find out what had happened… i have tears streaming down my cheeks. you’re doing an amazing job with baby madeline keep up the wonderful work. you and your family will forever be in my thoughts and prayers.
Matt, Where to even begin-nothing one can say will adequately convey the sorrow felt by others, and the incredible amount of compassion and empathy extended to you, Madeline, and your family. Liz was absolutely beautiful. Please keep doing what you’re doing-loving your daughter with everything you’ve got, and having the courage to share your experiences with us. You are giving so much hope and encouragement to others, including myself. I want to thank you for that. God Bless.
Your wife, Liz, was obviously beautiful inside and out. Your gain and your loss in just 27 hours is amazing and tragic. Thank you for sharing your life with us and for letting us in. You have many, many, many strangers/friends and you’ve just gained another one.
I am totally in tears. There are no words. Thank you for sharing your story.
I got the link from Ms.Single Mama’s tweet. I will keep reading.
Mad is adorable. You are too.
I first found out about you from Rph Mommy…she said to keep a tissue handy, and boy was she right. When I first came to your blog, I thought I read everything in one night, but now I find myself here…knowing the answer to the question burning in the back of my mind. I hate that I needed to know, what happened…even more so that it doesn’t change a thing. I cannot even begin to describe what your blog means to me…it is so much to read and grow with you and your daughter. While your road is bumpy, you are smoothing the way..with your love and devotion to your daughter and wife…I know she is proud of you…as we all are.
Hi Matt, I was given your website/blog from a friend. Having had a lot of the same issues with my pregnancy that your beautiful wife did, including the pulmonary Embolism. I am so so so so very sorry for your loss, I will keep you and your beautiful gift in my prayers. Thank you so much for sharing all the stories and amazing photos of such beautiful angels (both your girls)
I am so sorry for your loss. I really admire you going on and making your little girl your priority. Your wife would be so proud of you.
Dear Matt,
Yet another stranger here to tell you how sorry I am for your terrible loss. Your burden is unimaginably great. Your love for your daughter is inspiring, and you are obviously a truly awesome father.
I wish there was some concrete way in which I could be helpful to you and Madeline. I personally don’t have anything super useful to offer (other than my experience as the mom of a 5-month-old), but my husband used to be a financial advisor. If you ever need free financial advice (such as how to set up a 529 Plan for Madeline, etc), please email us.
I hope that today will be a surprisingly beautiful day for you.
I ran accross your blog today and can’t stop reading! I’m not usually the type to comment on anyone’s blog but I thought maybe you would appreciate the kind words of a stranger more than anyone else. My thoughts will be with you as I will continue to read about the day to day exhilarations you share with Maddy. Congratulations on the birth of such a beautiful little girl and good luck for the future!
I came over from Kathy’s blog at Mama’s Losin’ It and haven’t read the millions of comments, just want to leave my own. I just read what happened and I know you don’t want sympathy (or maybe you do but I am figuring you don’t!) but you amaze me.
This just touched my heart today. Thank you.
I spent most of my children’s nap time and now that they are in bed reading your blogs. I wish I had the words, you are an amazing human being and your daughter is lucky to have such a great Daddy. I want nothing more in the world than to stay in my girl’s lives as long as possible, but if anything ever happened to my I would only pray that my husband would be like you.
It’s my first time here. Over from Kathy. Tears are running down my face.
Liz. She’s beautiful. I’m so sorry for your loss, although you also received such a beautiful gift in Madeleine. Those words sound so hollow, and I wish I knew something better to say…
Thinking of you.
You are living my biggest fear– having to raise my kids without my partner (only surpassed, of course, by losing one of them.) I know you never saw yourself here, but you are doing it beautifully. This is a wonderful tribute to Liz, and such a gift to your precious Madeline. I will be sharing in your joys & heartache over here in blogland from now on…
Jill
Matt, I am also coming from Mama’s Losin’ It. I really don’t know what to say that hasn’t already been said. I am so sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts and in my heart!
Dear Matt:
My sister passed your blog along to me. I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers. I am completely saddened by what has happened to you and your daughter. I feel a sense of loss for your wife and sad that she did not get to experience motherhood with her child. However, I see in the pictures the relationship that you are creating with your daughter…and it is beautiful. I can promise you that your wife is incredibly proud of you-and of your strength. My husband went through almost the exact situation himself. His wife passed away about a week after giving birth. He has a beautiful daughter. Your blog is actually helping me to understand better what he may have gone through as well. So I truly thank you for sharing your experiences and to provide some insight for me…which I truly believe will help my relationship with both him and his daughter. I can’t thank you enough for sharing your personal experiences. Thank you also for taking such great care of your daugther.
Matt, I happened upon your site while at work, just read your story, and had to leave the room to collect myself. I am a new father myself. Be strong, and know that you will always have your Liz in your beautiful daughter Madeline. Love her and protect her. All my best to you and wonderful Madeline.
I got here from somewhere else, and this rips my heart out. I don’t have any words that anyone else hasn’t already said, so I won’t even try.
My chest hurts. I am crying. I feel angry for you and for your family. Why couldn’t she have just held her once. I just don’t understand why such shitty things happen. I am so sorry. You are so brave for writing this and sharing your story with the world. All the best wishes to you and your family.
Odd, the things that stick out in ourbrains.. I read your story through twice before it dawned on me at the end of the second time – our daughters share the same birthday.
Mine just turned 5.
I look at her and I think about how time has flown by, and yet the past five years seem dragged out and terribly long ago.
I’m sure that time must move even more quickly and simultaneously excruciatingly slowly for you. Time goes on, though, without our permission. “Time” the healer and torturer both.
I pray God strengthens you as time goes on. God bless you and your little girl.
My heart breaks for you. I am so very sorry.
Sooooo sad! You broke my heart just now.
Matt,
Deepest sympathies. HUGS to you and baby Maddy!!
Jessica
http://www.MomDot.com
Matt – Similar situation 3 months ago. I’m 31 and my wife Sarah was 30. It was our first baby and we were very excited. Alex was born a healthy 7 LB boy. The hospital allowed us to leave and go home 2 days later. As it turns out, Sarah got an infection from the hospital. By the time we got her to the ER, 2 days later, it was too late. She spent only a few days with the baby before passing. Alex is now 12 weeks and I’m a 31 year old widow. The journey is going to be a long and difficult road. I miss my wife dearly. I seek help from avenue possible. Reply back to my email if you can. I’m hopeful we can share some insight & experience. I wonder if this will ever feel real? Thanks for the blog…
Hi Matt. I am yet another stranger offering my condolences. I first read your story a few months ago on a website for donating breastmilk and my heart just broke for you and Madeline. Today, I ran across your blog, and I am not even sure how.
My daughter was born two days after Madeline in minnesota. I was also hosptialized and on bedrest for weeks, I had an amneotic fluid leak.
I know there isn’t really anything a complete stranger can say… but I just wanted to let you know you and Madeline are in my thoughts and prayers. I wish you both the very best, and Madeline is blessed to have such a wonderful father to take care of her.
That fucking sucks. Death sucks. Babies rock. Babies usually make everything better – even if only for a moment. Steal as many of those moments as you can.
Thinking of you here in Toronto and wishing only good things for you and your daughter. Lisa
Matt,
I am another person you don’t know, out in the world just reading your story and empathizing…wishing I had superpowers to change something. Anything. I’ve been a single mom for a long time, and that is hard enough without the added heartbreak of losing your lovely wife. I don’t have any sage advice for you. I only offer my respect and humility. However it is that you keep going…..just keep doing it. Your daughter likely thrives on that love and will be a strong and beautiful woman someday. No doubt, just like her mom. May you find some moments of peace every day and feel the support of strangers lifting you up when the burden feels so heavy.
I’m at a loss for words but feel the need to hug you. Don’t know you, will never meet you and yet I sit here at my desk crying for your loss. Your daughter is beautiful and your photos amazing. All I can say is somehow it does get easier.
I am sorry for your loss. I can’t even imagine it. Like many others who have commented here I can’t even describe how my heart fills for you with saddness and with love. I like your writing. I admire your courage. Know that you all are surrounded with an incredible amount of love and support. Keep sharing and living.
Hi. I stumbled across your site. I am sooo sorry. Your story is very sad. Single parenting is tough…there’s not much else that can be said. You’re pictures are beautiful!
Larissa in Texas
I found your site today and am wishing you and your family the best in raising a little one who is beautiful (like her mom).
I also had a pulminary ebolism after giving birth. I had a c-section on Monday, June 20, 2005 and on Tuesday, June 21, 2005 got up to walk for the first time after surgery and felt light headed. I passed out three different times. I was taken to ICU for 4 pints of blood. I spent a total of 10 days in the hospital, but luckily I aurvived. I feel so sorry for you, but let me reasure you that your wife had no pain. All i fle twas a little light headed. Hope this helps you. AWD
Hi, shit. I don’t even know what to say but I stumbled upon your blog and just feel like I should say something. Madeline is super lucky to have you for a papa. I hope your pain in lessened as your girl grows and fills your heart more than you ever thought possible (mine is still stretching with my eight month old). Anyway, thinking of you on this Tuesday afternoon.
Oh Matt! How tragic! I just found you today, and my heart is breaking for you. It looks like you are doing an amazing job with Madeline!
Hi Matt:
My dear friend Sue Riggs told me a little bit about your story and she felt that we might be able to talk. My husband Chris passed away unexpectedly on June 21st. He was traveling on business in LA. I was 7 months pregnant at the time and now I am due in the next two weeks. It is an overwhelming process as you are well aware. Anyway, I am not sure how great I am at blogging, but I know it has helped to talk to a few people who are dealing with this type of loss. I have attached my personal e-mail if you want to contact me.
I am so sorry for your loss I truly feel your pain. Though when I am told the same thing it seems so cliche to hear! Sincerely, Lisa
Matt:
I found your blog thru my cousin’s blog….no matter….I am truly walking with you as I read about your pain.
My husband (the love of my life…knight in shining armor….best friend) died of a heart attack at 30 years old and our son was 15 months old when this happened. He is now 8 and is truly the light of my life and his dad reincarnated.
It is true that life is a beautiful mix of twists and turns and no one is hardly ever ready for such a turn as you are going thru…but, you will get thru this and you will be blessed beyond measure for the path you are taking your little girl down. Your wife would be so proud of your strength and tenderness and ability to let others into your situation.
I was the “tough” one for the first year after he died….but you will learn that being with others and letting them help is the best thing you can do for you and your daughter.
I don’t know you and your wife’s story but I do see the light in both of your eyes in the pictures….great love is ALWAYS worth it and God blessed you with that when he brought her into your life. And, now you have the best memory of all right in your arms…that is how I felt with my son and you will find that your wife lives thru Madeline in some of the strangest, most complete ways, especially as the little ones find their voices and begin to emulate the one that is touching them and reaching out to you.
May God bless you and give you strength in your time of need.
Sincerely,
Schelli Creacy
Matt,
I heard about what happened today- I used to work with Liz – and actually met you when you first moved out to California — I remember how excited you both were! My prayers and thoughts go out to you, your beautiful daughter and your entire family. Please know that my thoughts will always be with you and Madeline – Cathy
Matt-
I came across your blog and have been thinking of you ever since. I never comment on blogs, but I felt an overwhelming feeling to let you know that I am praying for you. I know…big deal…. I am a total stranger on the other side of the US..but for some reason I just HAD to let you know this. I have a friend who also lost his wife to the exact same thing that took Liz. Only one difference- she was 9 months pregnant and the baby died also. I have praised the LORD that Madeline was left for you. What a blessing. Our church is doing a series now called “Life hurts, GOD heals.” I thought of these sermons when I read your story. Life totally hurts at times. I know you don’t even know me and will never meet me but if you are interested in hearing and watching these sermons, please let me know and I can send them to you. They are FULL of hope!! I will continue to pray for you daily. Your daughter is absolutely precious and you seem to be a wonderful father for her!! She is very lucky to have you! I can tell that from just reading about your life. Thank you Matt for sharing your story. Thinking of you in Georgia!
Kelli
Dear Matt – It was a pleasure meeting you and your beautiful daughter today at Lake Calhoun. I am Vico’s grandmother. My son also lost his wife after Vico’s birth. I just wanted you to know that I feel so proud to have been among so many very special people today.
Thank you for taking the time to speak with us today and for introducing us to so many terrific people.
Linda Calcagno
I found my way here via Sheila’s blog and upon reading this post my heart just dropped. I am soo sorry for you loss. I know I am a bit late but I had to say something. I read the first part about your beautiful baby being born which made me smile and remeber my own and then this. I will check out your blog later, I hope everything is going a well as it can.
I stumbled upon your blog via another blog…isn’t that how it goes? I just wanted to let you know even though you are in our prayers. I can’t imagine how hard it must be to go through that. Your daughter is so beautiful!! God Bless!
I’m sorry, man.
dear matt I just wanted to let you know that i had read your story a while back, and it touched me deeply I have lost someone so very special as you have, and my heart is with you and your beautiful child, I lost my special beautiful son neal albert raustadt 6yrs ago on oct 28 2002, he was and will always be the light of my life my daughter elizabeth is as well, i will always keep you and your child in my prayers, im sure that her mommy is watching over her everyday as i feel my sweet son is me, the one thing that helped me come through to the point where i can cope more than the day my baby went to heaven, is that my grand son giovanni was born in dec of 03 and hes been my little buddy and my best friend hes always got so much love and hugs for his amma and in ways i know in my heart he is gods gift to us as all babies are, your little girl is beautiful like her mom, and i know shes the light of your life, your blessed in many ways, god bless you always and if you ever need another friend count on me, if you want to email me im at newdaisyjayne29@yahoo.com. take care sincerely jayne ann hall
I don’t remember how I stumbled across you and your daughter, but, every now and then, I check back in. You are a very strong man. I’m so sorry for your loss. I can see from your postings that you are a wonderful father. Madeline is very lucky to have you.
I’m a single mom of an almost three year old boy. I’m divorced. We had a choice there. You guys didn’t.
It’s so hard sometimes to do it all on our own. But, you do it for your child. Parenthood brings a whole new perspective to the world.
Keep the faith. Enjoy her!
Matt,
I just found your blog through a friend’s facebook page. This is such a touching story and I appreciate you sharing it with total strangers like me. I am so sorry for your loss and I hope things are going ok with you and your beautiful baby girl. I was wondering if you’ve read the book “Life is a Mix Tape.” Your story reminds me a little of that book because the author lost his girlfriend at a very young age and also because of a pulmonary embolism. Anyway, it’s a wonderful book that maybe you’d like to read if you haven’t already. Thanks again and take good care.
Hi Matt,
It was great to see you the other day. I hope you had a good time in MN. Whit and I were just reading your blog. Madeline is a doll. What a beautiful baby. XOXO Em
I’ve wanted to write to you Matt to say how sorry I am about Liz and all that you’ve gone through. This all happened a week before I gave birth to my son, so it really hit me and you were in my thoughs constantly last Spring. I admire the father that you are to Madeline. It sure looks like you are doing an amazing job raising her. Liz must be very proud watching over you. Best wishes during this Holiday season for you and Madeline. XOXO Whitney
Matt- My name is Dave Di Pietro and I just read your blogg. Unfortunately we have experienced almost the same exact thing. My beautiful wife passed last week November 30th 25 minutes after our son was born. It was the saddest and happiest day of my life. I would like to speak with you if that is ok, please contact me at dipietro79@yahoo.com My thoughts and prayer are with you.
Dave
Hi, Matt. I’ve spent most of tonight sitting on my couch, reading your blog and crying. I’m am so horrified by what happened to you and your beautiful girl, but I’m so happy and glad that you have such a wonderful family and so many friends and strangers reaching out to you. I wish I could meet you and give you a hug. One of those bone crushing hugs where you just sink into the other person and close your eyes and breathe. You are the bravest man I know, an amazing person and an amazing father.
Matt, you have such a gift of communication. Madeline is such a lucky girl. My heart aches for your loss. Thank you for sharing. Many hugs and loads of love to you and yoiur beautiful girl. Merry Christmas.
Hi Matt,
I found your blog through another blog, through another blog, through another blog…I am so sorry for the loss of Liz, your beautiful wife and Madeline’s loving mommy. I lost my son and daughter earlier this year, and I believe that our loved ones never leave us…they live on as a part of us. You will all be in my thoughts.
Reba
Hi Matt,
Wow, I am so sorry for your loss. Your wife is absolutly beautiful as well as your daughter. It’s refreshing to hear a single fathers point of view. You are incredible, I know how it is to loose someone that quickly. Although my kid’s father is alive, it feels as though he’s dead. I will definatly be following this blog.
found your blog.. from clicking on ms single mama’s blog…. not sure what to write, it’s really sad… great stroeytelling, thanks for the reminder that life goes on and love can be found even if it does get lost it’s precious.
found your blog.. from clicking on ms single mama’s blog…. not sure what to write, it’s really sad… great storytelling, thanks for the reminder that life goes on and love can be found even if it does get lost it’s precious.
How wonderful for you to have such an outpouring of support from so many loving people!! Strangers cease to exist, and you are changing the world, one new friend at a time.
I am yet another stranger. I stumbled upon your blog by clickin it off someone elses list of reads. Ya know, you are an amazing father. I cannot imagine the pain and all the goes with your whole situation, but i read and feel your pain, your love, and just realness. Keep being an amazing daddy to that sweet beautiful girl.
Matt:
I lost my wife 12 days ago, 21 hours after she gave birth to our third child (our second daughter). A friend directed me to your blog, and I have been reading. I am so sorry for your loss. If you ever have time to chat – either in person, by phone or email – I would love to know how you have survived 9 months.
Here’s to hoping your Christmas was better than you anticipated, and here’s to hoping that 2009 brings nothing but laughs – rather than a river of tears.
Best,
DAN
310.413.4161
Matt, families are forever. It wasn’t by mistake or fluke that we ended up in our families. So in Gods plan u, Liz and Madeline will always be a family in the life after this – in the eternities. I’m not sure if u believe in God and u prolly are sick of hearing any more of this stuff from people.
But, I just had to tell u that Liz sees u, hears u and one day you will see her too. I know this to be true.
Keep doing what you are doing.
You are a wonderful father.
Matt,
I heard of your story from your Mother, and i am sorry for your loss. I hope you are doing ok, Time heals all, But i know it will take a long long time, I have not read any of your blogs yet, but i can’t wait to read and see all the pictures you have posted.
Your Mother is very proud of her son and she to is an amazing woman, Who has gone through lots of pain.
But it was fun speaking with her about her family.
Take Care
Colleen
Matt you are an absolute wonderful man you are an incredible father and I wish you the best of luck..I dont know how you could be so strong you inspire me
My dear friend, Ann, on one of the many long times of silence on my couch said two words, the only two words that even come close to sharing my grief. “This sucks”, she says. Indeed, and I am so sorry to have nothing better to say.
Matt,
I happened to be reading the star trib online this afternoon, and your blog caught my eye. I was immediately drawn in and couldn’t rest until I got the whole story.
Let me start by saying, I am so very, very sorry for your loss. You have a beautiful daughter, and what you’ve done with this website is such a wonderful gift for her. You have provided her with a medium to get to know her mom and yourself.
I, too, have a baby girl named Madailein (pronounced the same as your daughter). She was born via c-section on February 18, 2008. I was also placed on bed rest during my pregnancy.
Reading your story makes my heart ache. Our baby girls came into the world the same way, around the same time, and were given the same name.
I know you have many cheerleaders, but I wanted to throw my lot in with theirs. I wish you and your baby the best of luck.
tears
disbelief
tears
anger
tears
sadness
why
tears
questions
more tears
I don’t know you but now I now your story, your sadness, and your strength
be yourself, be sad, be strong, be a wonderful father.
You have 2 angels. Touch her, remember her, and always love her
I think you are a great father and fantastic person!! I hope your daughter and late wife know how lucky there are to have you taking care of them (and honoring them in death). Keep up what you are doing,,it is a great thing for your family and for many others.
Hi there,
I found you blog through another blog…you know how the blog world goes.
Just wanted to say that you are truly inspirational. You have a very lucky little girl…
Hang in there. You are doing a GREAT job!
Take good care of yourself,
Laurie
Dear Matt: I can honestly say I know how you and your family feel. I saw your story in People today and it hit us like a ton of brick. My brother had his first baby on June 13th 2008 (Friday the 13th). The baby was due on my brothers 48th birthday, June 17th. Jackie (age 36 ) died within hours of having Sophia. On my brother’s 48th Birthday he was standing in front of a coffin greeting people who came to pay their respects. His first Father’s Day was spent picking out a coffin. I just starting reading your blog and look forward to hearing how you feel about life. My brother at times seems like he is doing great. At other times you can tell me is really frustrated. I would love to hear from you. I am also including a web-site to a video I made for Sophia. I look forward to reading your blog and god bless you and your daughter. You are not alone.
Rosann
http://www.onetruemedia.com/shared?p=786083f5ea3aa9a2227af5&skin_id=1704&utm_source=otm&utm_medium=text_url
I’m so sorry….
Hey Matt, came over to your blog today….read about Liz…and her case reminded me of a very recent death in my acquaintaces (death on Dec 4, 2008), from the same causes. Nothing could be done to save her.
I am praying for you and Madeline….
Well that sucks
How can I pick up the pieces when my pieces are buried with you?
and any peace that I had is buried there too
I’ve got so many questions…
What’s God like and does He care?
Has He at least left us with memories we can share?
Like the first time I told you I loved you and our first slow dance…
The first time we made love
How about the last?
Can you smile at me in my reflection?
Can you meet me in my dreams?
Do you feel it when I kiss your picture?
Do you know you’re still my queen?
I miss you
Now, there’s no sun in my sky and no horizon for me to walk to
I’m lonely on this road… I lost my best friend in you
I miss you
Now I’m left with this new reality
Grief, pain and anger have all befriended me
The what ifs and whys have left me hypnotized
How long will I be paralyzed?
I can’t get out of bed when the sun creaps in
And all these questions start again
Did I love you too much?
Did I do something wrong?
You’re in God’s hands now
Weren’t you there all along?
I miss you
No there’s no sun in my sky
No horizon for me to walk to
I’m lonely on this road
I lost everything in you
I miss you
I’ve been cheated… I feel robbed
You’ve got my full attention now God
You took my world away from me
Who owns fate and destiny?
She was my reason for everyday
Why’d you take my daughter’s mom away?
I miss You…
I read the article featured on you and your daughter in People magazine. You are a very strong person in raising your daugher on your own. I am so sorry that Liz did not survive.
There are people who pray for people that they do not know, and will never meet. I am one of them. I will pray for you and Madeline. You are doing a good job of raising her.
Matt:
We have a very close friend who lost his high school sweetheart to the EXACT same thing after the birth of their twins in August 2001. He also had an older child. I would be more than happy to separately give you his email. You seem to have such similar, terrible experiences, but his twins are now 7, a girl and a boy. And they are lovely and happy and beautiful. Your Maddy is beyond pretty. She looks like a true angel on earth. And you are an angel too, for continuing to get up the morning, for continuing to breathe even when it hurts, for reaching out to people like this and touching them with your story. You are in our prayers.
I know exactly how you feel. I lost my husband 07-06-2008. The worst day of my life. He was only 23; he passed away due to a car accident. Since then I’ve been looking for answers to what I feel but no one seem to have them. Today I read your article on People Magazine, and I realized I’m not alone. There are many people who are going through the same pain that I feel.
I myself keep going because of my daughter, just like you do. The day he passed away I felt like dying with him, but I couldn’t because my daughter needs me. I felt like getting in bed and crying myself to sleep but I couldn’t because of my daughter. I had to take it all in and be strong for her and pretend that I was ok.
You’re doing a great job being a father for you daughter, and I know sometimes hearing it from other people helps. I truly believe god is great he has given me the strength to survive through what I call the day my life ended.
Matt, My prayers go out to you and your family. My best friend had THE SAME situation just happen to him 2 months ago. I am going to share this site with him and hopefully he can get in touch with you.
I cannot imagine the emotions that you go through on a daily basis, enjoy your daughter’s every breath and hold her close knowing that your wife lives on in her, and through you that beautiful little girl will know and love her mother as she grows into a beautiful young lady.
I read about your story in People magazine. Words cannot describe my sadness for you and your beautiful daughter. This blog is a wonderful way to keep the spirit of your wife alive and something your daughter will appreciate as she gets older. I’m glad that you were able to find a support network of other mom’s (and dad’s) in your area to exchange stories, ideas, and questions with. Your doing a fine job raising your daughter and I wish you all the best.
Well as time would have it I am just now hearing your story and learning about your blog, thanks to Peoples magazine. I recently had my little girl (well 9 months ago now) via c-section and my friend is scheduled for her on Feb. 16th (next month). She just texted me while getting her nails done your blog info, not realizing I had already seen it and wanted to keep this story from her to not get her worried and all worked up…. that stupid nail place just had to have a magazine her arms reach of my very pregnant friend. (smiling)….
I wanted to stop by and say I am heartbroken over your story, but so very rewarded to see and witness your strength and courage through it all. You have a beautiful little girl. You made me giggle because we always say that Morgan (my daughter) will be the next supermodel if she gets her daddys height (6′6″) and mommys looks. LOL She is off the charts in height and is looking more like mommy every day.
Thanks for being so transparent and sharing your life journey with the world……
and no sleeping in clothes that she wore all day doesn’t make you a bad father….. she takes a nap in those same clothes, right? LOL Actually, makes you a caring father, you didn’t wake her from a peaceful sleep. *winking*
Im deeply sorry about your loss and situation….. you have gained so much through all of this and you and your daughter will have a bond like no other.
God Bless and please keep blogging!!!
Wow what an inspiration you are! I’m not going to tell you that I have any idea how you feel or that I understand your loss. But I understand loss and there’s nothing I can say to you besides I am so unbelievably sorry and that the best thing a father can do for his child is to love their mother. We should all be so lucky to find that true and deep of a love you have for Liz and now….Madeline.
Again a stranger with an overly personal sentiment, not intrusive but very sincere. After seeing article in People I was struk with a thought that no matter the loss or pain or healing reasons for your most incredible journey, my heart sang and wept for the gift you have given your daughter, what love and sense of her mother she will find here, and not as a momoir, but your thoughts come together in such a realistic way she will be able to not only understand and feel who her mommy is, but who her daddy is, most kids struggle to find this later in life, and Maddy need not, in fact she will have such a compainion to her parents that she is blessed in perhaps not the most desired way, but finding any blessing when you have to gone one with babies without your spose, or as a child without your parent is a rare balm indeed. Not my place to add a “personal story”, but I was thinking of my sisters struggle after her husband was killed when her babies were 1, 2, + 4, at 20, 18, + 17 (he dies end of year before same birthdays sorry stickler for over explaining details) well my nieces and nephew are at odds sometimes trying to inncorporate him into their grown up worlds, based soley on memories that are verbal recollection by various family members alone. What you have been able to do for your daughter even thus far is such a moving beautiful gift for her furture, and while Liz being here would be the perfect world, what I am struck by is the “living” memorial gift your daughter has for the future, and a team parent balm, you have allowed Liz’s spirt to live on through. If we are all bound for heaven, well then what an angel on earth you have been to your wife in heaven. I just am so touched by the beauty of what you have done for Maddy, Liz, yourself, and the loved ones extended.
Sincere respect
Kathy, Calgary canada
Wow. I can’t imagine anything as heartbreaking as what you’ve been through. You are truly an inspiration. I wish you and Madeline all the happiness in the world. You’re obviously a wonderful Daddy and she’s very lucky to have you. I’m sure Liz would be so proud of both of you
I am so sorry about your lost,but remmber your wife left maddy with you,she was’ent worried she knew maddy would be taken care of,good luck and you are in our prayers.
Matt-
I read your story in People and I just wanted to let you know that your love for Liz and Maddy are amazing. Whats more is how many people you’ve touched although Im sure you already know that. My thoughts and prayers are with you, and I wish you both the best of luck.
Matt,
I am sooooooooo amazed by the success of your blog. What a great tribute to liz and your beautiful daughter Madeline. She looks just like her mother and Liz would be so proud of you.
I have lost both my parents and my sister who was strangled at age 33. There is never anything you can say to make someone who has lost someone in a tragic situation feel better. Just being there for people and listening is the best thing that person needs. Liz was a lucky lady to have your in her life as long as she had you, and you were lucky to have her in your life as well. I am glad you didn’t crawl up into a ball and give up. Keep greeting each day with a smile. I have a 5 year old and a 3 year old girl and I can tell you that as they get older each day get better. Maddy will amaze you as she start talking. This blog is the greatest gift you can give to her. In light of your loss you have decided to engage in your childs life and not miss a moment with her. I onldy wish other parents who have each other could live thier lives with your passion. I haven’t even read too much of the blog but I love your honest way of speaking. I like that it doesnt’ read like a book. I will keep reading and sending positive vibes your way.
Barb
I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing it with us.
I would love to send some things, like a tutu, to Madeline if that is ok with you.
I don’t know what to say but I feel I have to say something.
Peace and love x
Hello Matt and Maddie,
I read about your story in People magazine a while back. I cried through the whole thing, but was very moved about your strength as a father. I just had my second daughter five months ago, my second c-section, and realized how risky c-sections can be. My husband works many long hours and sometimes I find it hard to juggle two young children, but then I think about you and what you went through and it makes me appreciate my family even more. Thank you for sharing your story and I look forward to reading future updates. Your daughter is a very lovely and lucky girl!
Matt,
I was there the day your daughter was born. I ran to respond to the code the day Liz collapsed. I was in Liz’s room with the rest of the people trying to help save her. I remember thinking this is not the way it is supposed to happen, MOMS DON’T DIE…SHE IS TOO YOUNG! I cried, when you came to see her afterwards. I sat in disbelief that a man who had just lost his wife could be so concerned about those that had tried to save her. You some how pulled up the strength to enter the room where we were all crying over your loss and our failure to revive her, and to tell us “thank you” and how you were not sure how you were going to get through this but you were going to go see your daughter Madeline in the NICU. I walked by many times to see you feeding and holding your daughter while friends stood outside the NICU looking in. I was so happy to see all the support you had. I had wanted to say hello, but wanted to respect your space. I have thought about you, Liz and Madeline since that terrible day, and was shocked to see the article on you in People magazine. I relived the horror as I read the article but began to smile as read on and wiped away my tears. I still have nightmares of that day, but to see you and Madeline moving forward with your lives and to see that you have turned tragedy into a living memory is amazing. To see how many people you have touched through your own loss is inspiring. Your daughter is beautiful and looks just like Liz. I will never forget the smiles on both of your faces the day Madeline was born and I will never forget you.
I am truly sorry to hear about your wife dieing the day after your cute little baby was born. It sounds and looks like a sad story. Best of luck.
Matt,
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. You have been given the chance to be twice the father you may have been and the opportunity to give twice the love you may have given. It will be given back to you two-fold. Nothing will truly help relieve the pain of your loss (not even time), but your daughter’s laughter and her new inspirations each day will open your eyes and heart to the future. I hope you can find happiness in each experience as a father. I wish you and your beautiful little girl the best this world can offer.
omg.. I saw this in people magazine.. i read your story to my boyfriend in the car on the way to walmart.. i got so damn choked up i starteed to cry in the car. i kept asking my boyfriend why am i crying i don’t even know this guy…He had tears in his eyes and said omg that is the saddest thing ever(mind you this is a guy who is heavily tattooed and does not cry).. He is a new dad to 2 babies that mean the world to him.. We have 2 kids together a 17month old and a 2 month old.. btw.. I hope your into Yo Gabba Gabba.. it is the best show ever..
Matt, your story appeared here in Australia in the Who magazine, I actually have only ever bought 3 of these in my life.. I dont have children, havnt been able to, And I would like to say that you are a courageous, determinned, gutsy human being! Yes women do this on their own every day.. But women are made genetically to do this… So that makes you special for sure! My sincere condolences, and my hat goes off to you for being the strong person that you are… That shows huge character!!!!
Kelly. Perth Western Australia
And I applaud you
Madeline is the luckiest baby girl to have you for a daddy. You are one in a million.
You are doing a great job – which you know already – just look at your daughter and you’ll know.
Matt and Madeline
05/02/2008 my daughter Christina gave birth to my grandaughter Isabella. Myself , my wife and my son-inlaw
were on cloud nine until one week later my daughter collapsed and was on life support for five days until the decision was made
that she was brain dead. Tough decisions had to be made and the range of emotions were unbearable and some of her organs were donated to help other people because we knew that is what she would have wanted.
I will pray that you have the strength to nurture Madeline and keep her mothers spirit alive everyday.
If you ever want to chat I would be happy to.
Regards
Don
Valone
Hi, Matt. I just came to know your story yesterday. I cried. Your story reminds me of someone I know when she prematurely delivered her 4 lbs baby in C-section, nurses couldn’t wake her up after the operation, and when she passed out in the nursery. I thank God, my friend is doing well and her child. May the Good Lord Bless Matt and his baby girl, Madeline. She’s one pretty child.
I am very sorry for you lose and cant imagine how you are feeling. All I can say is that I kind of had a similar experience, but lost my daughter instead of me. She was born still and I was having extreme heart issues. I thought I was going to pass away. My husband had no idea who would live. It was a very hard day for us. All I can say is I wish that my daughter had lived and I had passed. I am at peace with it all but she could have lived a beautiful long life, i am sure you wife feels the same. You are doing a wonderful thing and your daughter is beautiful!
Matt, I just found your story today … I know another Dad in the same situation and I know that raising his daughter alone has made him a much stronger person but everyday the sadness is with him. Your Madeline is absolutely a gorgeous child, I can see her mother, your beautiful Liz, in her and while you are right, she IS her own person, she is also you and Liz, a symbol of your love, the BEST symbol perhaps of your love and I hope that raising her you find the peace in your life and that you learn to love again. I have a feeling that is what Liz would have wanted for you …
when i first read this i kept picturing myself and the day i gave birth to my daughter. so many similarities…my heart is in my throat as i type this. i’m deeply sorry for yours and madeline’s loss. although i know nothing will ever fill the void liz’s passing left in your life, she gave you something that will help keep your life full: your beautiful daughter. you’re an inspiration, may god bless you and your daughter always.
Matt, I read about your story today and was crushed. We almost had a similar thing happen to us – I was lucky enough to be revived, but it was extremely scary for my husband to watch and for everyone not to know if I would make it for hours. Anyway, I am here now and even though I have several health issues as a result, I am thankful that I get to be with my daughter and husband. I feel such pain for you because I know what that scene in the hospital was like. Nobody should have to go through that – you are so strong and your daughter is blessed to have you.
SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME HOW TO FIND MATT’S BLOG SO I CAN READ MORE ABOUT HIM AND HIS BABY. I READ ABOUT HIM IN A MAGAZINE, AND DON’T KNOW HOW TO FIND SOMEONE’S BLOG. THANKS, DONNA
Matt,God does’nt put on you more then your shoulder can hold, but I can tell you God only wants perfect roses to be his angles. I do’nt know why this happen to you and this perfact little baby. But that god has plans for the both of you,
you may not know them now.I dont know what your going though,but I can tell you I had my son by c section and we both just about died,My son heart stop afew times and my heart was droping .My husband left us just 10 days after my son was born. I was a single mom,my son was a preemiy . I divorce His Father . His father never had anything to do with him. Thats been 23 yrs ago.
Back then I only make $4.65 an hour.I made it with out any goverment help,just the help of my family.and I made it so you can too,everyday this little baby will keep you going.and you will someday site back and wonder how you made it. My prays are with you and you familys and when your having a hard time with anything look in that sweetie baby face ,you will fine thing just got easyer .I remarried 13 yrs ago to awonderful man ,who look at my son as he was his owen.matt some day this will be all behind you. And you and madeline will be getting ready for her frist day of school,and before your ready she will graduate high school I
know this is true cause time goes by so fast I know it happen to me,my son bought a house last summer . Matt you and Mateline are sad ,but as you heel ,you will fine your going to be just fine,with the help of your familys and God.
take care.
Good Morning Matt,
As millions have this morning, I sat down to watch your story on the Racheal Ray Show. My heart was filled with sadness as you told your story and my eyes were filled with tears. I can’t even imagine how you felt that day or what you are feeling everyday. My deepest heartfelt sympathy goes to you and your beautiful daughter. I just wanted to say that as time passes, we tend to forget all of these wonderful moments that we’ve shared with our child(ren) as they grow. I can see how much Liz and your daughter means to you. I wanted to mention a way of helping you to always remember Liz and the life that you shared, in honor of Liz. I don’t know if you have heard of scrapbooking, or not, but it’s a wonderful way for you to share all of your memories of your life before and after this tragic “accident”. You will learn to create pages of every special memory you have of Liz, to share in the coming years, to preserve those memories for your daughter, and that ensures that she’ll always know her Mommy and the love you both shared. May you both be blessed with lots of love and support. And if there’s anything that I can do for you, please let me know. I’m so sorry for you loss and I’m sure that Liz is looking down on you both everyday. Liz is so proud of you for the awesome things you are doing for your daughter and for others too. I also would like to share this poem with you:
God Bless You Both,
Jennifer
Hi Matt & Madeline,First God Bless you both . I am a stay at home mom with a 2 yr old and a 8 month old .I sometimes catch my self thinking that my husband doesn’t do enough to help .But after hearing your story on Racheal Ray today ,I broke down in to tears realizing I’m so wrong .I can’t imagine what I would do if he wasn’t here . You & Liz have a beautiful daughter . She looks just her mama . I have lost both of my parents in 11 months apart years before my daughter was born . So they never got to see they’re Grandbabies .But I tell them stories all the time about them and now my daughter will go up to my fathers picture and give him a kiss .I think doing this keep them alive in some way . I hope you and Madeline enjoy your journey together because God has brought you together for a wonderful reason . I wish you all the best and again God Bless you and keep you always .
god bless you and your baby. you will be fine your liz will take care of you both.
Matt –
Like many others today, I just saw your story on Rachael Ray. I was touched by your story. I am a mother of a 2 1/2 year-old and a 4-month-old. I had an emergency c-section with the first for a prolapsed cord and a planned c-section with the second. Your story reminded me of how precious life really is and how even these “routine” things can go wrong. I am so sorry for your loss. Just like you I had dated my husband for 8 years before marrying and have now been together for almost 13 years. Your story really hit home in that I can’t imagine losing the love of my life. May God bless you and Maddy and this legacy you are leaving for her. I will pray for you!
Hi Matt! Im deeply sorry about your loss, I just saw your story on Rachael Ray this morning. I was touched by your story.
I am a stay at home mom of two beauty girls 6 and 2 years, living in Monterrey Mexico.
You are a wonderful husband and father. I could imagine that your life is not easy, the sadness and pain for Liz and at the same time been alone with a baby girl but you are doing an excelent work and you have a beautiful baby.
Thanks a lot for sharing your life with us, you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. Love will overcome everything and you have a lot for Madeline and Liz.
Well aint that some fucked up shit! Out of all the child molesters and murders in the world, a good person has to be the one to die. WTF! My friend is 27 and she was taking a bath the other day and went completly blind and paralized, what the hell is going on? You didnt hear about this kinda shit happening 20 years ago. Like you said ’shitty luck” i guess. It pisses me off tho, i bet you sit a wonder ” what the fuck have i ever done that was so bad to deserve this” or atleaste thats what i would be thinking. Im not sure about heaven and hell either, but it would be nice to think shes looking down on yall ! Well they say everthing happens for a reason , maye it was so you an your baby could be closer or something idunno , it seems fucked up to me, well my lil girl madison just woke up so guess i better go, you will most likly never lay eyes on this, but i couldnt resist writing something lol ! byebye have a nice day if possible
Hi Matt, I watched your story on Rachel Ray. I could only imagine what you went through. When my daughter was born I had collasped 5 days after being home. I had a c-section as well. An ambulance was called and I was rushed to the ER. I had a pulmonary embolism and heart attack. That was the first time I had ever seen my husband cry. I couldn’t imagine what he would do without me. It was a scary time for me and my family.
The things you never think about can happen at a blink of an eye. What you are doing for your daughter is remarkable. It is something she will cherish for eternity. God bless you and your daughter. Your wife is with you every moment. And she is extremely proud of what you have accomplished.
Karen
I posted earlier. Not reading the entire story. My father was 46 years old when a pulmonary embolism hit him after 2 days post surgery. It was a shock and a horrible incident. No one could believe it. I am so sorry though that this happend to your wife when it was supposed to be such a time of joy and happiness. I never understand why we have to lose those we love, I mean we all know that we must all pass sooner or later, but its just not fair sometimes when the situations are such as yours. I dont know you, but would say I am so proud to see a strong courageous person, taking something so tragic and helping others. Your wifes memory will live on through that and you have done an amazing thing! God Bless you and your daughter, through her you will find hope!
Hi Matt. I just came upon your blog and read your story. I just wanted to let you know that my mother grew up as a motherless daughter. She was born in 1931 and her mother died the following day. Her father had lost his job the week before. I often wondered what it had been like for him, to have the greatest joy arrive followed by the incredible loss of his wife. My grandfather eventually remarried and my grandmother’s family kept quiet about her existence in deference to his new wife. If there’s one piece of advice I could pass on to you, it would be to allow your daughter to continue to have a relationship with Liz’s family and her memory, no matter what the future holds for you. My mother is an incredibly strong, independent and brilliant woman. But she’s always had a subtle undertone of sadness that she has attributed to knowing little about her birth mother. This blog is such a gift to Madeline. It is her opportunity to know her mother through you and others. It is the gift of love from a very dedicated husband and father. God Bless you.
Matt and Madeline
I am someone who knows a little bit about what you went through. I lost my first baby due to low amniotic fluid and then had a blood clot in my lungs about a week later. It was discovered that I have a condition called antiphospholipid syndrome. It is a blood disorder that is usually found in patients with lupus. I was lucky that my life was spared but we lost our baby girl. She saved my life and allowed doctors to discover my disorder so we were able to have other children. It was a struggle. I had many months of bedrest with both children and had to be on blood thinners the whole time and for the rest of my life. Our daughter Victoria was born 8 weeks early at 2lbs 3oz. Our son was full term and they are both healthy now.
We don’t know why God chooses to do things in the way that he does. We try to make sense of things but that is impossible when you have lost someone you love. God takes those who have fulfilled their journey. We must continue ours and make this world a better place.
wow i am so sorry for your lost after i had my second i had a lot of health problems i also had blood clot n my legs and lungs. it scary to think about. I AM SORRY for your lost
I am so sorry for your loss, I can’t imagine what you must be going through still. I have had about 3 or 4 calls this week from friends and family telling me about you! The reason is because I had a pulmonary embolism after having a c-section! That was the MOST scariest time of my life. I too had a hard pregnancy and was on bed rest before I had my daughter. My pulmonary embolism was not genetic it was from too much estrogen from pregnancy. I had never heard of anybody having a pulmonary embolism from pregnancy until it happened to me. And, I was the first woman ever in that hospital that it happened to. If you want to know more about me and what I felt before and during the PE let me know and I will share my story with you. Again, I am very sorry that she died and I know that I could have died too.
I just read your story last night in People Magazine and it brought back so many memories for me. In July 2006 my left leg filled with blood clots after the birth of my first child via c-section. The blood clots in my left leg got so bad that it blocked off the circulation in the leg and it turned black. I had emergency surgery to try to save my leg – it worked but I spend a month in the hospital (the first 10 days in ICU). Multipe surgeries later including a few to try to “fix” my left foot the had started to “die” due to lack of blood flow and I can walk. Reading your story made me realize how lucky I am – my blood clots all stayed in my leg. I’m on blood thinners for life but at least it’s life! I’m so sorry about your wife.
Every time I hear your story, I can’t help but well up with tears. You are wonderful for doing all that you did during and after the birth. I only gave birth myself 2 mos ago and I can say it was not easy. My husband almost lost me after my c-section due to severe hemorrhaging that no one picked up for some time(things they forgot to put in the “What to expect” book). I feel blessed for being alive and thankful that he does not have to do it alone. I can’t imagine what you must go through every day, but know you must hug and kiss the “shit” (you said it was ok to curse!) out of that little girl. I just know that Liz doing the same thing just from above. A mother and child, like father and child, can never be separated. Thanks for sharing your story. I think there are so many risks to pregnancies being overlooked these days as it seems so common to give birth. Yours is an example of how precious life is. Be well and keep inspiring.
Matt~
Just read your story in the January 26th issue of People magazine and was surprised that I had not heard of your story before. Well, dear Dad, as you are about to celebrate Maddy’s first birthday next month, let me commend you on taking the time to record and document your life for your daughter. Though she will grow up without Liz physically being in her life, I know that she will know her mother based on your teachings and will see her father adoringly and lovingly all her life. May God Bless you both and your life together…and yes, Liz will be with her, always. Respectfully, Jenny
Matt,
Madeline is so beautiful.
She looks so much like her mom.
It will go much easier if you trust in God and keep your faith in him.
I want you to know you and madeline are always in my prayers.
You will look up to the sky one day and tell Madeline that she shines brighter than any star up there.
Then all of times think that Liz is looking straight down at you
Hi, a friend of mine just sent me your link and I was reading your story. I lost my husband to pulmonary embolism 3 weeks after our daughter, Megan was born (in decmber of 2007). She was born 3 months premature (i had been in the hospital for 3 weeks prior to her birth), and even though he did get to see her, he never got to hold his little girl. It has been a rough road for me, but I too have tried to be strong for my daughter. I know that my husband would want her to the BEST life and its up to me to make that happens. I have a website if you want to check it out: http://www.otkenfamily.com. My daughter ended up being in the hospital for 4 month, so I needed a place to post updates and pictures for our family (since I spent most of the time at the hospital and didn’t have time to return ALL the phone calls). I’m sure that your wife is SOOO PROUD of you. Your daughter is beautiful and the two of you are lucky to have eachother.
Wow, what a story! I am so sorry for your’s and madeline’s loss. You look like an amazing father, and she is so lucky to have you!!!
Matt, stay strong. Just have to keep pushing on b/c we have to. My son was 4 months old when my wife found out she had cancer where she immediately had to start treatment. She fought bravely and hard for 3 years until I watched her stop breathing in the hospital on hospice. My son is now 4 years old and we are hanging in there. Gotta be strong and try to make the world a better place for our kids.
I’m so sorry for your loss.. I personally think that you are doing a great job, raising your beautiful baby, “Madeline”. I congratulate you on your hard work and encourage you to perservere. WoW!
Sorry 4 ur loss
i personally think that u’re doing a great job
Madeline will be always proud of u
i read about your story in a magazine. i am very sorry for your loss. you, madeline, and your family are all in my prayers. she will always be proud of you and look up to you. daddies are a little girls hero and i’m sure you are hers.
I stumbled onto your page last night.
I have read many things.. but just managed to find this entry( I am a little slow on the navigation side of things)
When I finished reading it..
I thought many things.
Why?
How?
But most of all the thing that came to my head was
“That is just so fucked up”
Oh my goodness. I have no words. There are no words. I came here from MckMama’s blog. I read thru your entire month of March 2008 and stoped here. I am in complete and total shoke. Devestated. This could have been me. No where near the same but similar. And to think that I almost denied treatment. My heart is broken for you. But I am very happy to see you a year later. Doing better. No where near where you would have thought you’d be. Not normal. But different.
Oh my goodness. I have no words. There are no words. I came here from MckMama’s blog. I read thru your entire month of March 2008 and stopped here. I am in complete and total shock. Devastated. This could have been me. No where near the same but similar. And to think that I almost denied treatment. My heart is broken for you. But I am very happy to see you a year later. Doing better. No where near where you would have thought you’d be. Not normal. But different. (I should have spell checked my first comment)!
http://www.evajanette.blogspot.com
Matt,
Your daughter is gorgeous. I am so sorry for the loss of your wife Liz, but thank God she left Maddie with such an amazing father. You are an inspiration to the world. You & Maddie & the rest of the family are all in my prayers. May you find peace in these tough times.
Dear Matt
I just watched your story on Oprah. I can`t tell you the flood of emotions that filled my heart. You see 22 years ago , five weeks after the birth of my second child I was diagnosed with a huge pulmonary embolis in my left lung. I was fortunated that it was so large because it caused pain on inspiration. My husband is a firefighter and he imediately rushed me to hospital. At first the nurse sent me to the waiting room, as I was leaving her desk I mentioned that I was 5 weeks post partum. Instantly there was a flurry of activity, chest xrays, blood gases & lung scans. After 12 days in hospital with my nursing infant beside me I went home a very grateful woman. I was treated with anti coagulants for a six month period. I was even able to have another child with the help of heparin injections for the duration of the pregnancy. I always have been gratful that my life was spared and have tried to live a good life. Besides my own children I have raised over 50 foster children here in Canada. Continue to love Maddy, never forget Liz but open your heart in case another wife and mother for Maddy may come along.
Sincerely,
Christine
when you jokingly told Liz she had to start waiting on you after 5 weeks of bedrest and she said ‘of course’ reminds me of what my husband said to me the day before he suddenly passed of pulmonary emboli: he had had a cold for the past week and had been lethargic and remiss on helping me take care of our 2 year old; he said ‘i’ll make it up to you’…..you can’t help what cruel joke is being played on you. I share your grief, your trials, your loss. Thank you for letting me weep, endure and share your joys with you.
I have said many prayers for you and Maddie. Tell her about Liz everyday – even if you think she doesn’t understand yet. I see Liz in her eyes. God Bless you Matt.
SImply unbeleiveable. I am SO sorry for your loss. Did you ever get anything of an explaination why? Did she have a clot disorder? Did they check her blood before the c-section? You and your daughter are in my thoughts.
Matt,
I was just watching the Oprah show and listening while reading my emails when I heards your story. I heard that your wife died suddenly on March 24th , 2008. My ears perked up…my husband died unexpectedly as well and on March 24, 2008. I know the pain. My heart is with you and little baby Maddy! You are young, She needs you . My children are married, and I have 3 grand chldren, but they do not live in the state of CT. The pain of your loss is unimagineable!
Stay strong, allow others to help, and God Bless you!
Carole
Matt and Madeline,
After hearing your story I was so sad and at the same time so proud of you both! I am a new mother – Lyla is 4 months old, and can’t even imagine something like that happening to both my husband and Lyla. Liz is beautiful and Madeline is adorable. Good luck on your journey, having a baby has changed my life. May God bless you both!
I don’t even know where to begin. My heart just aches for you and your beautiful daughter and wife. The things you are teaching that little girl are priceless. Your wife is with you, always.
Matt, I never saw any one as brave as you. I saw your story on Oprah and then I immediately logged onto your site. And I am so happy that you are strong enough to share your story including the bad parts even though it hurts. And I think your a good influence to all parents young and old every where. And needless to say young Maddy is so beautiful.And I think if Liz saw how you are now she would be very very proud of you and young Maddy for you courage to move on, even though it is truly hard.
=)
i can’t imagine myself in the situation. I was saddened by the story. I commend you for staying strong for your daughter. liz is surely proud of you!
I’m so sorry. Thanks for sharing your story and experiences. It reminds me to pay attention to what is most important. Saying a prayer for you and your sweet baby.
Beautiful prose to describe the ugliest circumstances I can imagine. Looking forward to reading the rest of your story.
Hello Matt,
I first heard about your story on the oprah show and since then i have been one of your many followers…I’m truely sorry about your loss. My love and prayers go out to u and maddy , by the way she is so beautiful…. I also wanted to tank you for sharing your life with us, u cant eaven imagine how your story has made me learn how precious life is ,And to live each day as if it were to be my last….I truely admire your parenting, and the way you’ve learned to stay strong for maddy. Well thanks again for letting us be a part of yours and maddys life …I’ll continue watching you and maddy through your blogg ….Stay strong !!!!!
Matt i know just how you feel! My grandma died after i was born, so i barely know just like maddy barely knows her mommy. if u want maddy 2 know about her mommy tell stories about liz 2 maddy! good luck!
24 year old widow….My Daughter also just had the first anniversary the birth of her Baby and the death of the Best husband and Daddy ever ! My daughter Tawni and her fabulous husband Joe had a Beautiful baby boy Cash 3-11-08 and Joe died in a car accident May 19th 2008 barely 2 months ofter Cash was born…Joe was only 27 and My daughter is left raising a son with out a father and is scared to death…I saw you on Oprah today and was so touched and really amazed at all of the young Widows and widowers I have heard about lately! Joe passed away right before Fathers day and Tawni could not acknowledge that day because of the fresh pain..but this year we will celebrate life the life that was and the life that now is and like you My daughter says her son is the ONLY reason she lived after losing her husband….God bless you and your precious angel! I will have my daughter check out this site when she gets home…thank you for sharing!!!! Chris Miller
I heard about your story today on Oprah and I wanted to say I’m sorry for your loss. Your daughter is a beautiful little girl and you have done an exceptional job raising her.
Oh…Happy Father’s Day!
Happy Father’s Day, Matt!! I hope you and little Madeline have a wonderful, memorable happy day on Sunday. Matt, I logged in to your blog for the very first time just yesterday after seeing your story on Oprah. I was so saddened to hear of the sudden & tragic loss of your beautiful wife but I was also very touched of your story of raising your adorable little girl as a single parent, aka “Daddy”. Little Madeline is so beautiful; she has such a happy little sparkle in her eyes because you are doing such a fantastic job raising her!! Thank you for sharing your blog with us, it is so inspiring and heartwarming. Best wishes to you and Madeline.
Been reading through *all* the archives… pulmonary embolism – wtf – so devastating and so heart wrenching – I know I’m reading all this a year and some months later, but the emotions of it all are overwhelming –
I should probably shut the computer –
Just saw that you were on Oprah? incredible – what a journey -
thank you for using your story to touch lives
I just saw you on Racheal Ray and you are really amazing, this really tugged at my heart but you have the most precious gift forever. Please keep posted how Madeline grows up so we can watch her. Her mom is watching.
matt,
i was watching rachael ray as i do everyday at 2pm and i saw ur story. needless to say it made me cry. im very sorry that u had to lose her the way u did. i am 36wks pregent (4wks to go!!) w/ my 1st, and i cudnt imagine having to go threw wat u had to go threw. but u r doing an awsome job. madeline is sooooo lucky to have u as a father and wen shes old enough will to relize all that u have done for her, shell be very proud of u too. i lost my mom nov. 17 2007 of a blood clot in the leg that caused her to have a heart atack. i miss her everyday and i know she is looking down at me from heaven wishing she cud be here to see me big and pregnet w/ her first grandbaby. and i know that liz is up there too wishing she cud be there to hold maddy in her arms for the 1st time. but i know that she is looking down at you and her loveing u both and looking over you to make sure u r both always safe. i know i dont know u matt but i love u for being such a brave man and father, madeline is so very lucky to have u.
I saw you and you and Madeline today (8/10/09) on the Rachel Ray Show. I was truely inspired by you. I think what you are doing for your daughter by doing this blog for your daughter is wonderful. You are a true inspiration. I have a 2 year old daughter and I would hope if something happened to me my husband would do the same as you. You are giving your daughter the ability to be able to know what type of woman her mother was and plus so many memories. I wish you much happiness with that precious baby girl of yours. She is beautiful. Take care and God Bless the both of you.
Heather
Hi Matt,
I’m from South Africa and saw you on Oprah yesterday (we’re a bit behind here). Wow…your story brought tears to my eyes and I admire you so much. May Liz’s soul rest in peace and may God give you the strength (as He has been doing) to get you through the days. God bless you and Madeline.
Matt – your story brings tears to my eyes, my cheeks and now all over the keyboard…. I can’t even begin to imagine how you feel. You are SO brave for sharing this story. I am so happy to hear your last interaction with your wife was teasing – everyone would love that. Your daughter is beautiful and will love this blog history when she grows up. Best of luck.
Matt – I’ve just started to read your blog, and it is just breaking my heart. I will be praying for your family (or sending good thoughts, if you prefer). I’m glad that you had this blog to turn to, as well as family and friends. My cousin died a couple years ago, and my aunt made a blog about her life and death. It can truly be cathartic to write out feelings.
I wish that I had something important to say, but I hate talking about grief.
Such a sad story, but what an amazing dad and daughter!
Hi ..
i saw you and you’re beautiful daughter on Rachel Ray this morning and i felt extremely bad for you two .
I come from Denmark and I shared you’re story with everybody i know ..
I wish you and Maddie all the best for the future and I believe that you might be te gratest dad I have ever heard about ..
God bless you both (:
I remember that moment of shock as recognition of my wife’s condition was shared with me. The doctors spoke of slim odds, grave condition; cardiac arrest. She was only 42. Our fourth baby. Tracey’s final gift to me.
You’re right, it’s a bad day. The next day, though, was worse for me: I had to explain it to our three children: 4, 6 and 8 at the time.
That was seven and a half years ago. What a ride it’s been. You have many great gifts coming your way, Matt.
I’ve written a few notes already. And, understand how busy even one can keep you. No worries about a response. I do hope we can connect some time, though.
Till then, all the best,
Charlie
http://www.DaddyMoms.com
Matt, I just read about you and your family on Oprah.com. I was drawn to your blog because I lost my 16-year-old son suddenly, tragically, violently, on June 15th of this year. So, I have been looking for ways to find support and express myself.
I’m so sorry for your loss. My kids keep asking me why people say that. I don’t really know. I guess it’s because they don’t know what else to say. But as you know, there really isn’t anything that can be said that will make a real difference. So, I say that with a full heart, knowing that it really means nothing.
Thank you for writing about your experience. It does help others, and it gives hope for the future.
Again, thank you.
I’ve been reading your blog almost since the beginning and occasionally go back to this post to re-read it. I’ve read it so many times I think I may have it memorized. It’s almost like I wish I could re-write the ending. You’ve come so far and done such amazing things since this fateful day. You are an inspiration to me. I cherish getting to see Maddy grow up. I check for new posts every day and if there isn’t one I always check out the new pictures and of course keep up with you on Twitter. You truely are an amazing father and human being. I can’t wait for the day I get to meet you and Maddy face to face.
Matt and Madeline,
I love your story, although very sad and tragic, the bond between you two is so beautiful and special.
Matt, I love your humor, strength, honesty and your genuine spirit.
God bless you and Madeline.
You can do this….and do it very well. Have a wonderful time in India. Happy to hear you will have help all the way. a nanny will make all the difference in the world. Take all of us with you and we will all be better people too.
I feel so much for you. Joy, pain, strength, and love. I have never known another man to do what you have done. I would only hope that if anything was to happen to me, my husband would do the same thing as you. I am currently Pregnant 28 weeks i have polyhydromnios (opposite of the olig)I also have severe Bloodclots and was put on bedrest at 20 weeks. They said i can have the baby any time from now on because the excessive amount of amniotic fluid. I saw you on Rachel Ray show and cried and cried. Your wife Liz was so beautiful and mady looks just like her mom (no offense dad)..lol.. she is beautiful I thought about naming our baby Mady Elizabeth after your 2 loves. It has made such an impact in my life since i have been pregnant I have lots of fears and joys, but i lift my head everyday to read your blogs, it keeps me going.. Your daughter will be so proud of you when she gets older. Matt you really touch many lives. Dont ever stop.
Sincerely With Strength,
30 Trackbacks
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[...] the newest single dad out there, and if you haven’t met Matt Logelin yet, be forewarned: more than one of his posts made me cry, and he says a lot of bad words. (Thanks [...]
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[...] Agora de noite, estava aqui em reunião com o mais novo colunista da revista, que estréia na próxima semana, quando Pedro me mandou um link pelo MSN: Matt, Liz and Madeline. Entrei, achei ok, visual bonito de um blog que parecia pertencer a uma “família feliz” americana, com seu primeiro bebê. Qual foi minha surpresa: “é o blog de um pai e sua filha. A mãe morreu horas após o parto“. [...]
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[...] August 12, 2008 Stranger friends Posted by kristen under friends There’s a blog I read every once in a while about a young dad and his infant daughter. The posts, written in the style of a daily diary, are sparse, the photography is beautiful, and the baby is gorgeous. But it’s a sad story. A break your heart story. [...]
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[...] This is Matt and Madeline. You should know them. I’ve been following his blog for a year now…his story will touch your heart. Matt has been blogging/photographing/documenting his beautiful daughters life since her birth. The day after Madeline was born, Matt lost the love of his life, and Madeline lost her mother. You should start here… [...]
[...] Liz, died suddenly of a pulmonary embolism just after giving birth to their daughter, Madeline. (You can read the whole heartbreaking story here.) His posts are touching and unique. (I actually first heard about this blog from former OCRegister [...]