i’ve been checking
liz’s
e-mail almost daily
since she passed away
(on the off chance that someone out there hasn’t heard what happened)
and every monday
she gets an e-mail from
babycenter.com
with information
about each new week of
her
pregnancy.
(the women out there who were/are pregnant during the internet age will know what i’m talking about here).
today’s pregnancy reminder
informed us
(well, me).
that madeline is
37 weeks along.
i was even
congratulated that she
is now officially
full-term.
and that she should
weigh over 6 lbs.
well.
i feel like
writing the
person who sends those
e-mails out
(cynicism partially intact here…i know it’s an automatic e-mail list)
to tell them
that they don’t
know shit about shit.
madeline
busted out
4 weeks ago.
i don’t need an
e-mail to tell me
what she’s supposed to
look like
in the womb.
’cause i have the real thing.
sleeping, eating, burping, pooping, peeing
and waking me up.
i guess
i should just
unsubscribe
liz
from the list.
the e-mails are pretty useless
at this point.
so,
like i said,
madeline is 4-weeks old
today (monday)
that’s birthday #4
in the year
of 52 birthdays.
(and as diane pointed out to me today, father’s day #4).
grandpa tom g. and grandma candee
were in town
(for less than 24 hours)
to celebrate
the occasion
and to deliver gifts.
a couple of gifts also
arrived from
grandma brocoli.
aj helped me eat some of
the food in my fridge
to make room for more.
he learned a little
more about
caring for a baby.
(scored big-wins in the diaper-changing and feeding areas, failed as a facilitator of burps).
ben, dana and vaughn
stopped by
to visit with madeline
in advance of their upcoming
babysitting duty.
they were also mesmerized
by the robot
(who isn’t now that it lights up?)
gina sent
some of the shots
she took yesterday
(so awesome…more to come).
rhonda brought us some in-n-out.
i promised to go
to sleep early
tonight.
madeline,
the former premie,
(remember, babycenter.com says she’s full-term now)
had other ideas.
and honestly,
i wouldn’t have it
any other way.
33 Comments
Hey Matt:
It’s Barb again….Heather and Josh’s sister…..back stalking you and Madeline. I’m cracking up from yesterday’s post about “two men and a baby” and LOVING the photo of your hand holding Maddie’s foot. It seems that Maddie is growing and thriving with you as her Papa. I hope you are okay….I can’t imagine what you are going through, but I want you to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers every single day……along with about a million other people it seems. Anyway, the masses are rooting for you and your beautiful baby girl. Hang in there Matt! Parenthood is the most amazing spiritual journey that you may ever embark on. Enjoy every moment. It’s the little things that count the most it seems : ) Hugs, Barb
LOVE LOVE LOVE the picture of you holding your little princess near your face – the one where you can see two wedding rings on your hand. Simply breathtaking Matt – Thanks for sharing!
Dear matt and madeline,
I was told of your story this past wknd while on my annual girlfriends getaway wknd. There are 2 avid blog-readers in the group that shared your story, so first thing yesterday I sat down and read it all and sat at work in tears. You are so amazingly strong matt and madeline is very blessed to get to call you ‘daddy’! liz sounded like a wonderful woman and I am truly sorry for your loss.
I hope you know there are many strangers out here praying for both of you to have strength! I hope you see liz every day in that beautiful daughter of yours and wish you all the best!
God Bless.
The pictures are SO SO SO beautiful, and they bring a tear to my eye! Absolutely stunning photography and amazing subjects!
Those photos are simply amazing. But why wouldn’t they be for an amazing daddy and daughter? I’m another stranger but I’m riveted by your story and check on you often. Thank you for sharing your life with us. You are doing a fabulous job!!
Okay, bawling again-
But I am glad that you and Maddie are training AJ. The pictures are a good reminder of how beautiful life is, even when it sucks too. I wish I could be there to share in the diapers, burping, and sleeping- but I will just have to make up for it another time when 2 men leave the baby at home to watch the Twins. Don’t even think of sending AJ home without getting the burping thing down. Lots of love from afar.
Hi Matt,
You don’t know me, I’m Jasmine Payne’s younger sister. I knew Liz when she was in school with Jazz at Scripps. I’ve been reading your blog daily, but this is my first time writing to you. I really can’t begin to express my sympathies to you and how beautiful I think Madeline is. I’m writing because I’m starting a baby blanket/quilt for Madeline, but I’m not sure what color her room or bedding are, if you could let me know I’d appreciate it.
My thoughts are with you,
Alexis
those photos are schweet-
a month old..happy birthday little one!!!!
Hi Matt and Madeline,
I am a fellow cribsheet blogger and have been following your story for the last few weeks. I admit that I check your page multiple times a day to see updates. Matt, you are doing such a WONDERFUL job. What a blessing for Maddeline to have a daddy like you. Thank you for sharing your story and your love for Liz and Madeline with all of us. You are an encouragement to me on a daily basis, so thank you! I will continue to follow your story and lift you and your family up in prayer.
Blessings,
Rachel
Those are such gorgeous pictures! I love the picture on the chalk L. Happy birthday to Madeline!
As a past recipient of those e-mails, I can tell you that you can update the account with your daughters actual birthday. Then you can get weekly updates on what she’s doing now *outside* of the womb….
Hi Matt,
You don’t know me, I’m Jasmine Payne’s younger sister, I knew Liz when she was at Scripps with Jazz.
I’ve been reading your blog for the last few weeks, but this is my first time contacting you. I can’t even begin to express how much my sympathies are with you, and what an incredible job you are doing with your beautiful daughter.
I also wanted to contact you because I’m starting a baby blanket/quilt for Madeline and I wanted to know what colors Madeline’s room and crib set are. If you’d let me know I’d really appreciate it.
My thoughts are with you,
Alexis
Matt,
I was introduced to your website through Pam H******m. I believe her husband is related to Grandma Candee. (I’m married to Pam’s nephew.)
I’ve been following your blog since. I wanted to tell you that I’m so sorry for your loss. I think about you, Liz and Madeline every day.
Happy 4 week birthday to your little Madeline! She’s a beautiful child and blessed to have you as her daddy. I am a mother to a 16 month old daughter so if you need any advice, I’ll be happy to oblige. I can tell you that it goes so fast… hold on tight to your little bundle and savor those “weeks”, they quickly change to months and then your child is jumping off your lap (but also giving you the most generous of kisses and hugs).
I’ll keep you always in my thoughts. Your story has touched my life forever.
Dawn
Hey Matt,
Another Cribsheeter here, checking in on you. Glad to hear that friends and family are supplying you and Madeline with a steady stream of food, beer and company.
I love the pictures! Gina did a great job. It’s hard to believe how fast babies grow in the first year of life! Let alone afterwards.
I hope things are getting easier for you with each passing day.
Take care,
Ann
I can’t stop looking at that photo of maddie posted last week I think – you holding her little face, those thoughtful eyes of hers, my guess is she will be wise years beyond her age -I feel like I need to come and help you out – I dont know why, I don’t know you at all, but I just feel so connected – please keep posting, my family and I will be reading and looking for new pix of maddie and company : )
Hi Matt-
I found your site through another blog I read. I can’t tell you how incredibly moving yours and Madeline’s story is. As a mother it resonates deeply with me. You are doing a wonderful job with your daughter, keep up the good work. The pictures are beautiful btw.
Happy Father’s day Matt… everyday is Father’s day… you are going to get this down and are going to teach us mommies a thing or two… thinking of you and beautiful Madeline…
~G
Hi Matt (and Madeline)!
I’m another Cribsheeter… and also the parent of a preemie. Madeline is absolutely beautiful.
Our daughter, Sadie, was born at 30 weeks and I was getting those babycenter.com e-mails. Now that she is past her expected due date, I am getting e-mails telling me about my 2 1/2 month old baby– even though she is really 5 1/2 months.
We have such tiny miracles and I am so happy to see that Madeline is healthy and growing strong. My prayers are with both of you. Liz lives on in Madeline… I am sure you will start to see more and more personality out of Madeline that reminds you of Liz. Cherish those moments.
Blessings to you,
Jana
Hi Matt,
I’m a friend of Gina’s and was introduced to you and beautiful Madeline through her blog. The pictures that she took are just precious and the love that you can see between you and your sweet baby girl is radiant.
I will be keeping tabs on you and Madeline quite often. You are an inspiration to many. Thank you for having the courage to share your very personal story with the rest of us. The days will get easier, but one day at a time is all you can do. Know that you have lots of good thought and prayers being sent you way by many.
Michelle
matt – happy birthday to both of you – 4 weeks! time flies! i saw those photobooth pictures and i instantly went back to your wedding and how we couldn’t get people out of that booth to even eat. i remember taking a photo of your cake topper in the booth – how we laughed about that! i’m going to the memorial – i hope to see you and your family there. thanks for the postings. i wish there was something i could do. we pray for you every night at bedtime.
that baby is glorious.
Sweet!! Thanks for sharing these photos!! Ü
I had to laugh seeing her on the chair all wrapped up in her pink blankey. Before we left the hospital with our last baby boy, we had to fill out a questionnaire that had absolutely ridiculous questions …. “I should never leave my baby unattended on a chair or other perch that they could fall off. Agree ___ Disagree ___ Unsure ___” Ummmm ….. he’s two days old, is bundled in blankets (because we’re in MN in October and it’s COLD!) and can’t move even if I DO THAT!!
Awesome photos! Madeline is gorgeous! Can’t wait for the next installment!
Hi Matt – I read your story yesterday in the Star Trib. It broke my heart.
I wish you and Madeline nothing but the best!! I read about the babycenter.com emails and thought about something you may not know so I thought I’d share. Each birth month/year has a baby board where Moms (or Dads) can talk to other parents about their children. Not everyone who signs up with babycenter.com does this but if Liz was apart of her board, those parents might be wondering where she is. I’ve made many friends through my boards so I just thought I’d give you an FYI on that. Keep up the good work with Madeline – you’re doing a great job.
Matt, I’ve never posted on your blog before…but I couldn’t help myself anymore! Those pictures are the most precious ones I’ve ever seen before. I’m sitting here at work reading your blog (instead of working!) and I’m in tears…I can’t stop reading. And I will continue to read…and pray
Matt,
I’m another stranger that was introduced to your blog by a friend. I just want to say that you are an amazing person. Your daughter is so lucky to have you and I wish you both nothing bust the best in the future. You are doing an amazing job.
The photos are beautiful!
My prayers are with you!
I’ve discovered your site this morning – I first want to say YOU ARE AMAZING. I think that you’ve handled things with grace in the face of such tragedy. These photos of Maddy are beautiful. The ones of the two of you together made me cry. You look as if you have an amazing support system. You are very lucky! I pray for you and your beautiful girl. God bless.
I have been reading through your blog. You have an amazing outlook, considering what you and your daughter have recently been through. Dont feel to bad about getting angry at babycenter. That kind of reminder must sting.
Your daughter is beautiful. Those pictures are fantastic! Im sure her mother would be proud of all you have accomplished! Keep strong
I just heard about your blog…I have to say you are amazing!! Seeing that you are wearing her ring on your pinkie is incredibly touching. Madeline is one lucky girl to have you as her father. Keep writing please.
Dear Matt…
I just ran across your blog and I must say it has really struck me. I am sure you are probably tired of hearing about this all the time. I think Maddy is so lucky to have you. I am so sorry for your loss, but you have really come through for your child. I am not sure I would be able to do as well as you are. I will keep your family in my heart. Keep writing. You are such an inspiration.
Lindsay in IL
I had to pick today to cry again, and leave a million posts. I love the pictures!
I am catching up on the blog and i just have to say i love your comment “they don’t know shit about shit” when you talk about the email you got from baby news. Cracks me up so damn honest i love it
The pictures of your daughter when she was almost 4 weeks old are beautiful~
i saw your famiy’s story today on oprah (dvr’d from yesterday). you, liz and madeline are such an inspiration and thank you for sharing. madeline is very blessed to have a daddy, not just a father.
I’m not a mother. I’m just a teenaged girl who wants to be a writer. I found out about you through Christine Coppa’s website. I cried while reading your blog. But what got me and spurred me to actually comment was the picture of you holding your baby with your hand showing your wedding ring and your wife’s rings. I can see the love in this blog and hope that in the future I share that kind of love with my husband.
What beautiful pictures. I’ve just discovered your website and am playing catch-up. Thank you so much for sharing your story.