Comments on: 5 weeks ago (tuesday).

By: bosnian hijab girl

bosnian hijab girl — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 14:09:28 +0000

God bless you…
We don’t know when death will come,but we have to live in this world and after death of our dear people in our life..
I hope inshaallah,that you learned something about life,and what is the poent of life!@!!
God bless you doughter ,inshaallah that she will be a good person …

By: mama's losin' it

mama's losin' it — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 05:20:33 +0000

I just found your blog and I’m pulling for you.

By: alyssa

alyssa — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 16:25:31 +0000

matt, i can’t stop reading all of these entries…i’ve just been told of your site and i sit here crying my eyes out, i’m a freshman in high school. my mom died when i was 9….madeline will forever be your best friend. just think of that

By: DC

DC — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 03:26:45 +0000

Hi Matt. I just came across your site and I am so sorry for your loss. One of my best friends died almost three years ago from a pulmonary embolism, three days after giving birth to her first child. I think this is more common than people realize.

I’ll be thinking of you and sending good vibes to you and Maddie.

P.S. I live in the L.A. area, too.

By: littlecindy (from mn-moms)

littlecindy (from mn-moms) — Fri, 23 May 2008 18:01:37 +0000

let it be…you really do have good taste in music

By: Alli

Alli — Wed, 07 May 2008 19:56:11 +0000

Matt, I have just found your blog. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Madeline.

I just wanted to agree with all of those who said not to worry about the formula. Read to her every single day, travel with her, encourage her to learn an instrument or give her dance lessons, instill an interest in history and culture. She will be just fine.

As for the money, I agree that you should purchase a beautiful hope chest and fill it with things of her mother’s. These will be precious memories that will be irreplacable as your daughter grows and wants to know her mom. If there is any left over, save it. When she is older, have the stones from Liz’s rings reset into a necklace or earrings (or both), something she can treasure forever.

Again, your story moved me greatly and I will be thinking of you and your child.

By: Michelle

Michelle — Fri, 02 May 2008 17:50:54 +0000

Hi, we haven’t met. I can’t even begin to write anything to make any of it better for you—just know that I sure wish to god I could.

Maybe I can offer a little distraction? As I’ve been reading your story I’ve been picking up a little sense of your musical tastes. Some of it sounds familiar (Mark Kozelek is my husband’s favorite, and The National is mine); some of it I’ve heard of but not heard and I’m thinking maybe I should (Silver Jews). I thought I’d offer a list of other albums full of thought, detail and feeling that you might look into one of these late nights when you’ve read the blogs, the TV sucks, all your babyless friends are sleeping, and all that’s left is illegal MP3 trading.

- Patty Griffin, “Living With Ghosts.” If you like RHP/SKM you have a taste for the exquisitely sad. No one does it better than Patty Griffin. In direct contrast to Mark Kozelek, Patty’s better without a full band, so LWG is the album to check out.

- Calla, “Televise.” I know nothing about these guys or their other work. I just know this one album is wonderful electric-sensitive-boy music.

- Low, “Drums and Guns.” Probably you already know who Low is and formed an opinion about them long ago. If you haven’t heard D&G though, it’s really different from anything they’ve done before. Half the album walks the line between music and, like, percussive white noise. It made a lot of fans mad or cheated-feeling, from what I understand. To hell with them, I say.

I would like to keep thinking up things you might like but I have a job I must go back to. Take care of you and your little girl.

By: Suzanne in Toronto, On Canada

Suzanne in Toronto, On Canada — Thu, 01 May 2008 21:09:13 +0000

I can sorta relate to the “I’m not” answer to dealing with your loss. Though my daughter is still with us, since she became severely disabled at 15 months (now 11 yrs) I don’t think I have ever really dealt with the loss. I just go on day to day because I have to. I wish sometimes I could crawl into the closet and close the door, hiding from reality and pretend I live in my ow dark, lonely little world where I can grieve for as long as I want to. But I can’t…. she depends on me. She needs me to change her diapers, hand feed her her meals, carry her to bed , her chair or put her on the floor, dress her, wash her, play with her, love her and make her world seem like the happiest place on earth (after Disney of course!).
But I know how hard it is to shallow that lump that creeps up into your throat and blink back the tears…. and pretend it’s a perfect world… cuz it ain’t. We both got handed some shitty luck and unfortunately… there is no fix it solution just a “deal with it” life sentence. Makes me want to scream til I loss my voice!
HUgs to you Matt….you’re are doing the best you can for Madeline…. she’s a lucky little girl.
Glad you got back online…. we missed you both!

By: Heidi

Heidi — Thu, 01 May 2008 17:00:13 +0000

I believe Liz can hear you. Only a woman who loves you as much as Liz would “send” all these women your way to help you.

Peace.

By: Kristen

Kristen — Thu, 01 May 2008 06:07:17 +0000

Hi Matt,

I sent you a message on Flickr – I’m assuming you got it – I know you don’t have the time nor energy to respond to every message you get. I lost my boyfriend of over 5 years nearly 6 years ago – it was an ordinary Monday night and I was laying on my bed reading a book when I got the call that he had been killed – I still have that book – I have never had the heart to pick up where I left off and finish reading it but it serves as a reminder to me that life as we know it can change in the blink of an eye which is why we must try hard to cherish what we have when we have it. I regularly read the blog of a wonderful Australian photograher who is also a grieving parent – I think she put it so well when she said:

“What has become clear to me though is that you can plan and hope all you want, you can imagine and presume and expect life to go a certain way but really, there is no watertight guarantee. All the days are “normal”. The happy ones, the sick ones, the bored ones, the tragic ones. I am no expert, I have less clarity than the average person but what I have found, because of One Normal Day, is this:

Live each day, every single day, with the understanding that one does not necessarily lead into the other. Hug your family. Tight. Put aside What Does Not Matter. Tomorrow could be a completely new kind of normal.”
-Sheye Rosemeyer

Every single parent should go to her blog and read her story -sheyerosemeyer.blogspot.com

I was only 20 when I lost Alex and none of my friends had even lost a grandparent so I was left with no one talk to – because of this I offer my ear if you need – kclanoye@yahoo.com – I don’t have any answers and I know you probably have an abundance of offers but I am a good listener so just in case.

Madeline is gorgeous – you are doing a wonderful job with her – my thoughts and prayers are with you both . . .

Kristen