we woke up late today.
lounged around for a
few hours.
then we went
to the bank again.
this time with madeline.
realized it’s not
just old women
who want to poke at
a baby.
no.
young women love
babies as well.
and a cute, quiet, sleeping baby
inspires seemingly rational
women to want
one (or more) of their own.
first of the month
(paychecks to be deposited)
and the bank came
to a near stand-still
so that the ladies
could see madeline.
i had multiple
nanny offers.
and my favorite teller
offered again
to help anyway possible
(as if crying with me, coming out from behind the glass to give me a hug and donating to the memorial fund were not enough).
through my observations
i can now conclude
that men don’t
give a shit
about a stranger’s baby.
(this is at least true of the men that work in, and/or frequent banks. theory to be tested in other public places in the coming weeks).
realized today that
diaper changes have
become eminently
less thrilling.
when i brought madeline home,
she smelled great.
(like a new-born baby is supposed to smell)
three weeks later,
she just kind of stinks.
i bathe her regularly
and i’m overly attentive to the
whole dirty diaper thing,
but she smells a
whole lot worse
than she did
when she came home.
and now
my house kind
of constantly smells
like a shitty diaper
(that diaper genie doesn’t work quite as well as i’d hoped).
i guess being a new parent
means that you have to
get used to this kind of thing.
and whoever told me
to put a bottle of
hand sanitizer near
the changing table is
an absolute genius.
today brought multiple visitors.
auntie anya pushed
madeline in the stroller,
fed her,
and changed her diaper.
lisa brought thai food.
bob helped us eat it.
and a former stranger from flickr
(now a dear friend)
traded a home-cooked meal
and a long drive
for a few burned-copies
of my favorite music
and 35 minutes of hold-time
with madeline.
(not too sure who made out better on that deal).
someone asked about
the paper cranes
that can be seen
all over my house…
well,
the kind folks with whom i work,
wrote messages to me
and to madeline
on some colorful paper,
turned them into
origami cranes
and placed them
in random spots around
my house.
(i found some in the freezer, some in the trellis on my patio, etc.).
oh yeah. forgot to mention this
the other day…
madline hates tummy-time.
81 Comments
I am a frequent lurker on your site and just wanted to extend to you a poem I wrote awhile back and i hope you enjoy it. It’s about loss and called Take Care.
You are doing a wonderful job with that little one of yours and she looks just like her mommy, so beautiful.
Like a Melting Icicle,
I loose a little more every day,
More of myself,
More of you,
I struggle for a way,
To hold myself together,
So as not to lose,
Anymore.
So much has been lost already.
Take care of me my friend,
For those pieces of myself,
Are embedded,
Deep within your frame.
I could carve them out,
But happier they are within you….
Then they ever were with me.
So much has been lost already,
So take care of yourself,
And you will in turn
be taking care of me……
10/12/05 KH
Hi Matt,
2 things come to mind. Wrap the poopy diapers in a grocery store plastic bag before throwing away and all babies hate tummy time but keep doing it 5 min a day. I didn’t and at our 6 month pediatrician appt. when the dr put Lilly on her tummy to see how her neck strength etc. was I was sort of embarrassed! I had never really done it because she cried and I felt badly. So I guess it’s important.
You are an amazing dad. Amazing. Hopefully today is a good one for you.
Kristin
Matt love the video with Maddy,the sounds she makes are great when we cant be there in person.Have a great day.I have to go to work now.Thanks for all YOU do. Love Dad
Matt–
My heart goes out to you and Madeline. I’m another lurker on your website, and I have a little baby girl who was born on Mar. 11th. Here;s a tummy-time tip my doula gave me: give her tummy time by placing her, tummy down, across your thigh when you’re sitting. You can have one hand partly supporting her chest/head if you like. That way, she can still practice moving/pushing up, but with less screams!
Carol
For the stinky diaper issue, you might try a few drops of tea tree oil. With a diaper genie, you could probably cut a small piece of microfiber towel and then place it in the bottom of the genie to help control odor (assuming the genie construction is like I remember….I only used one for baby number #1).
For the stinky baby, we used to love California Baby bath products (the “calming” blend smells fantastic). Seemed to be the only thing that worked well for us. If she continues to be a little funky, even after bathing, check the folds of her skin in her neck and behind her ears, etc to make sure there is not spit up hanging out. My son especially would have all sorts of stuff that would just cling to him (big time refluxing projectile puker) in places easily missed.
Tummy time was never a hit here, either. She might enjoy it more as she gets bigger and can look around and bat at toys a little.
She’s beautiful as always. Amazing how much she’s changing on a daily basis now. Soon you’ll be seeing those wonderful first smiles and hearing her “talk” to you. That’s just the best.
Oh that sweet newborn baby cry, I love it! Don’t worry. My 6 month old HATED tummy time and has probably spent a total of 5 minutes doing it since he was born. But he’s holding his head up, rolling over and sitting up despite it.
I’m a “cribsheeter” from MN who has been reading your blog since Madeline was 2 weeks old. I’ve wanted to comment so many times, but never have known just what to say… The first thing I do every morning now is log on to see how you and Madeline did yesterday. Your blogs make me laugh and cry every day. I’ve shared your story with so many people. My copy of last Sunday’s Strib is pretty beat up… I’ve been toting around your article to show anyone and everyone I can.
It’s so inspiring to me that through all of your heartache and sadness, how amazingly honest and open you can be. Thank you for sharing the story of your family, it’s changed the way I live the past few weeks. This is a pretty awesome thing that you’re doing for Liz and for Madeline.
I hope you continue this blog for a long time – I can’t wait to watch Madeline grow up
Take care,
Katie
p.s. I work for a company that makes really great home fragrance products and we have an amazing baby collection that will cover up that dirty diaper pail smell in a hearbeat. I’d love to send you some…just say the word
Hi Matt,
I hope you received my email. You are a great Dad. I’m glad you are getting out of the house with Madeline. Someone once told me that our children will be amazed by how we still got out of bed and took care of their every need when we were falling apart everywhere else. When you are having “one of those days” do not beat yourself up but take pride in the fact you chose to keep moving forward. One day Madeline will understand and be so amazed by you.
That is the sweetest sound I’ve ever heard!
We love you both!
Renee and Rob
Another “lurker/stranger” here…A friend sent the link to your blog a week or so ago and I check daily to see how you guys are doing. I love reading your blog entries and especially enjoy your pictures.
I second the grocery bags for dirty diapers. I used the Diaper Genie for a while with my daughter but then had to move onto grocery bags taken directly to the trash when our house started to smell like dirty diapers.
For tummy time, you can lay down and then let Madeleine lay on your chest, on her tummy. Not only does it provide some good cuddle time, she may be happier to lay on you. Or, put a rolled up blanket/towel under her chest to help prop her up a little. That may work better when she can hold her head up.
I love the newborn cry – as they get older, the crying is less endearing!
My thoughts are with you both,
April
Hi Matt,
Here are some unsolicited words of wisdom (’cause I’m sure you haven’t had enough of that, lol) from a three-time Mama (My beauties are Logan, 7, Jackson “Jacks”, 5, and, ironically, Elizabeth “Liz”, 19 mos):
1. If your newborn’s diaper suddenly begins to smell more foul, it means you’re doing good – she’s eating well, and everything is moving along like it’s supposed to!
(Just wait ’til she starts on solids… whoa…)
2. The Diaper Genie sucks, IMO. We used it with our first, and it worked fine and dandy til he started having “man poops”. Then, we were drawing straws for who was going to change the liner and empty the thing. The odor would practically knock you over. Second time around, we tried another disposal thing-a-mah-jiggy that also sucked. Third time, we decided to toss the wet diapers into the kitchen trash and wrap the gnarly ones in a little scented “diaper disposal bag”, tie it up tight, and also dispose of in the kitchen trash, since it fills faster and has to be taken out anyway. Works great for us.
3. I think 99.9% of infants hate tummy time at first. As someone else mentioned, just keep at it for at least 5 min. a day. When her neck gets stronger and she realizes she can look around, she’ll love it. Especially if you get something to put in front of her to look at.
You’re doing great. Keep up the good work, Daddy.
Beth in MI
p.s. The origami cranes are beautiful, and what a wonderful idea. You’re so lucky to have so many people that care tremendously for you.
I’m 31 and I still hate tummy time.
Hi Matt
Just a few thoughts for you….
You are right the diaper genie kind of sucks. (I think that is a lesson learned by simple trial and error of every mom and dad I know) I had always been a paper grocery bag kind of girl, but switched to plastic so I could use them to throw out stinky diapers. The diapers will only get stinkier and bigger, making the diaper genie even more useless.
All babies hate tummy time, but if you do it often, they will come to like it. With my son, I would also lay down on my tummy so we could look at each other. Sometimes I would put toys on the floor between us and show them to him, sometimes I would make silly faces and sounds, and other times I would just let him cry and take in those sweet little newborn sounds.
Keep it up Matt, you are doing an amazing thing for Liz and for Madeline. The first thing I have done every morning since your first appearance in cribsheets is open your blog to see how sweet little Madeline and you are doing. You are…. I don’t even know the words to say. I couldn’t possibly capture your love and goodness in words. Your friends, family and especially your Madeline are so lucky to have you in their lives.
Robin (MN)
matt,
you are such an inspiration. i have been reading your blog “religiously” since reading the article in the strib. i have not cried so hard in a long time. it is such a beautiful love story and will continue with madeline. you dont know how you have impacted others lives who dont know you. being someone who struggles with depression, an eating disorder, lots of personal struggle, you make the world seem safer. i realize that i am alive and need to start living. thanks for letting the world get to know you and your lovely family. you rock.
Hey Matt. Its Heather in alabama. My kids hated tummy time too lol. You would think I was killing them the way they screamed.
I love your pictures of Madeline, they are always so beautiful. Of course she is beautiful but the pictures are amazing.
As for the smell. What I always did was put baby lotion on the kids and then wipe my hand off on her shirt. The lotion smell lasts longer on the clothes then on the baby. I dunno I just love the smell of johnsons baby lotion so thats what I did. I feel funny even giving you advice because I think you are doing sooo great and wonderful and i admire you so much. But i wanted to let you in on the lotion on clothes thing lol
I still kinda do it to connor sometimes. He is getting too big for me to do it though, he will be 3 in october. It seems like the time has flown by.
Anyway hugs!! I know it sounds funny over the internet, i wish i could give you a hug and talk and hold madeline. I guess I could wait for you to find a reason to visit alabama huh? LOL.
Heather
Hi Matt! As for the diaper jeanie issue…….ours never kept the smell in the bin either. My daughter is 19 months and for the past 15 months we have just been putting the poopy diapers in a plastic grocery bag and then taking them out to the garbage can.
Check and see if the culprit of the stinky baby smell is the folds under her neck. When my daughter was about 3 weeks old, I went to wash under her neck (had never really thought to do that thoroughly before) and I literally gagged because the smell of formula and spit up was so horrendous! Oh, the joys of being a first time parent. You will be amazed at the tricks you come up with in the next year!
My daughter, Makenzy, also hated tummy time as a newborn. A friend recommended these toys that look like animal heads (frogs, chickens, elephants, etc.) that Velcro on like a bracelet and make rattling noises when the baby moves their arms. Although she still hated tummy time when using the bracelets, she was much more tolerant of it.
I have only posted one other time here, but I read your blog first thing when I get to work everyday. I just wanted to tell you again how much your story has inspired and touched my life. I no longer take my husband for granted and have found a renewed respect for him!
I hope you and Madeline have a great day today!
Hi Matt,
Madeline is getting so big- she’s filling out nicely
Here’s some advice:
Diaper genies don’t work. I got rid of mine and ended up buying a stainless steel trash can. That will still smell but at least it’ll be contained and not stink up your house. Once my daughter started eating solids we got rid of that too and now we just throw her diapers in our bathroom garbage and empty every night after her bath.
Tip #2: My daughter also hated tummy time but if you fold a receiving blanket in half, roll it up (like a tube) and tuck it under Maddy’s chest and arms, that’ll help prop her up a little bit. She’s still a teeny thing, but she’ll get the hang of it and won’t cry as much. When she gets a little stronger, you can hold a toy or rattle in front of her to get her to hold her head up more and look at what that noise is. You’re doing great! Madeline looks wonderful!
Have a Happy Friday
- a stranger in Minneapolis
Hey Matt,
Noticed in the new pics that madeline has been scratching her face a bit. Do you have any baby mits? they look like little mittens and will keep her from accidentally scratching her face. As for the dirty diapers, they make scented garbage bags now that might help. Some good friends of mine would always put the poopy diapers on the front porch until they could get them into the trash bin outside, just another option. oh and some strategically placed dryer sheets can help tone down the poopy smell. As for madeline smelling funky, do you have any baby powder? I always found that getting the baby powder in between their little rolls helped a lot with the funky baby smell. Good luck and keep up the good work!
Try the Diaper Champ….it works like a charm, and you don’t have to buy any bags for it. You just re-use plastic bags you already have. And as long as you empty it enough, there is no smell! Dirty Poo Diapers def. can get stinky.
Tummy time is rough….my son hated it until he was about 3 months old. Now he’s almost crawling and is always on his tummy. It’s essential for them to move…so keep up the good work!
Hi Matt!
It was so nice to see you at Nye’s last weekend, you are truly an amazing person and father. I can see why Anthony speaks so highly of you.
I had the same diaper genie deal when Carter was a baby – it sucked. BUT, if you make it a habit of bringing the diapers to the garage or outside to a garbage can, it’ll get that smell out of your house. Also, make sure you spray Lysol or another type of cleaner in the bottom and the sides of the Diaper Genie after you change the trash bags, If found that even at home in my garbage cans it helps a ton.
Tummy time is tough. Carter hated it at first too but it’s important to keep doing. While she’s on her stomach, lay down next to her on your stomach for a few minutes so she can look at you and you can talk to her to ease her fears about her new position. Also, while she’s on her stomach, keep her entertained with her favorite toys.
I guess that’s all I can think of to do! It’s been a while since I’ve had to do the newborn stuff – but cherish it while it lasts because when she’s 5 (like mine), you’ll wish she was still a baby – unable to run, talk back, or drop your keys down the heat register right before you have to leave for an important meeting.
I’ve got some great teething advice when that time comes too!
Hope all is well and I know you have a ton of support from friends and family, but please don’t hesitate to let me know if there’s anything I can to do help out.
Melissa Voyles
Matt –
more advice on diapers – in case you don’t want your house to smell. I finally learned that if I dump the poop in the toilet and then toss the diaper my house rarely stinks. Although, you may not be at the solid poop stage yet – so bring those nasty “steamers” out to your outside trash can.
I try to avoid wrapping diapers in plastic bag before i toss away-that’s like a double whammy on the environment.
You are doing a great job with that little peanut.
Hi Matt, I have posted a couple of times which is a little strange for me. Not that I am a quiet or shy person (quite to the contrary). . . anyway, I had an issue with the tummy thing with my older daughter (who will be 3 in a month). She also hated it!! Just do a couple of minutes a day here and there so that she can work those muscles-and maybe crawl. My pediatrician never had issue with it. He said that there is a large percentage of kids who do not ever crawl because there is so much stress on keeping them on their backs due to SIDS. He also indicated that crawling is not considered a manditory milestone in development. My kid never crawled and she is fine. Anyway, I know that you are months and many other milestones away from crawling, but I can bet that people will start bringing that up if she continues to not like spending time on her tummy. Parenting is a prime time to find that there are just as many opinions as there are minutes in the day. Maddy will be fine and take each opinion with a grain of salt and use what works for you. By the way, even though I never had the honor of meeting Liz, comparing the photos of Madeline and Liz the resemblance is amazing even some of the looks on their faces. Squeezes to you and Madeline.
I love the cranes; what a sweet thing to do!
The fact that the smell is starting to get to you must mean that you and Madeline are past the honeymoon stage and starting to settle into a rhythm, which can only be good. : )
I know most of us don’t know you, but know that we are proud of you. The first few weeks of new parenthood for me were extremely stressful and overwhelming, and I had a partner with me, plus wasn’t dealing with the grief you are either. So I am constantly amazed at how you seem to be coping.
And on another note…I think the women you run into at banks, etc. with Madeline are doubly enamored of her because you, a man, are out with her alone. Very few people make a fuss when I bring my kids out and around…no matter how cute they are! : ) So I say, milk it for all it’s worth. And hey, maybe you can get a nanny out of it!
“men don’t give a shit about a stranger’s baby”…. I laughed my ass off at that line. keep up the excellent writing matt, its getting me through finals. your daughter is going to love reading it someday.
Back in the day before the internet, faxes and cell phones we tossed the diaper into the outside trash asap…..Whoever invented the diaper genie got away with the scam for about 10 years or so and then everyone caught on.
I don’t think mine hated tummy time; we didn’t have it…course, in those days you put your baby on their side and propped them with a blanket roll….I wouldn’t have dreamed of having them lay on their back! Ah well….they grew up fine as will Maddie……it’s amazing how much more human she looks daily…….darling girl
Also…i Have a diaper champ and like it alot more then the diaper genie. Tends to hold the smell in pretty well, except when you empty it.
And they take regular trash bags instead of expensive special ones.
Good luck with the stink
matt,
im not sure if u will read this, but i still think about constantly. it seems like were friends and u have no clue who i am but, i dont know itsweird, i cant stop thinking about u two. abyways heres a couple tips, if u cant get her to stop crying try running the vacume, it always stops a crying baby. also there is a womb bear out there in the baby section at a dept. store it really helps babys feal close to there mom, it helps them feal more relaxed. gotta go, my little girl is crying, take care, u are in my thoughts and prayers.
I have also become one of those people who check in every day to see how you guys are doing. Even though I do not know you I do somehow feel connected to you not only because I am a new parent myself but because we can see ourselves in you and your struggles. I make sure I tell my husband every day how much I love him, not forgetting that comes from reading your posts every day, so thank you.
Tummy time does get easier, try putting her up on the boppy, that helps and get right down on the ground with her, it’s less scary. but they will usually only tolerate it for a few minutes at a time. I also agree with the PP, check the neck fold for neck cheese, happens all too often. I am in wonder how they get so dirty when they don’t do anything!
Matt-
I would be one of those seemingly ration young women who go crazy over babies… And I think that would be especially true for ANY ONE who saw Madeline. Those guys at the bank just must be lacking something…
your the real deal my friend…
good stuff as always….
take them out to the trash.. its worth the extra steps… ha!
~g
Some shout-outs to the other posters:
1. Beth in MI: “Man Poops”?!?! OMG! I about fell off my state-of-California-issued office chair on that one.
2. Becky F: You also cracked me up. I’m sorry you don’t like tummy time! Your blog is a delight, BTW.
3. Katy: You’re right about Matt being a woman-magnet when he’s out with his tiny girl. I can only imagine the stir they cause everywhere they go with their cuteness! Even tho they smell.
And Matt, here’s a shout-out for you too: another baby product recommendation. I don’t know if you’re going around with some behemoth stroller like many of us did before we knew better, but there’s a thing that used to be called a “snap-n-go” where it’s just a lightweight frame, you pop it open with one hand, snap the baby carrier into it, and off you go. It’s great for quick errands where you just need to be able to run in and don’t need the big stroller. Here’s a link to what I guess is the current model of this item:
http://www.amazon.com/Kolcraft-Universal-Infant-Seat-Carrier/dp/B000A3WHHQ/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=baby-products&qid=1209741290&sr=1-1
Loving your blog; loving last.fm!
Matt,
I was just sent a link to your blog yesterday, and am in awe of your strength and perseverance. Madeline will be so proud of you someday, and will love to read this.
Just a couple of tips that were passed to me in the past couple of months (my daughter was born January 29th)
-Definately check the neck folds, all sorts of junk accumulates there. I never even realized there were so many rolls there!!
-If she is a messy eater it could be the formula stinking up her clothes which could make her stink (kind of like vomit). Someone told me to take a towel, cut a head shaped hole and viola- no more formula on the back of clothes (that bibs is useless for getting rid of)
-I found using a car freshner in the diaper pail works wonders…just a cheap idea :O)
-Tummy time is dreaded here too. The boppy pillow seems to get us past the first 30 seconds into 3-4 ok on her tummy. I know they say no TV for the first couple of years, but playing something fun like nursery rhymes or something colorful on the tv in front of the tummy mat seems to make a difference…
Madeline is beautiful, just remember when she is crying- she has strong and healthy lungs!!!!
Tummy time on your chest counts.
My son got a lot of that until he started liking his tummy time and never had a problem with his neck strength, which of course, could mean nothing for you, but it might be worth a try over M’s obvious dislike of alone tummy time.
My diaper genie works well, but we didn’t have to use formula.
FYI…..nothing and I mean NOTHING works when it comes to those diaper pales!!! They all stink no matter what you do!! You can try to hide the smell but really that’s all you’re doing “HIDING” the smell. Best bet is to walk it to the garbage…..outside!!!
Tummy time is rough at first but she’ll get the hang of it!! Love the video!!
Susan, Minnesota
AKA…..Another “lurking” stranger
my kids hated tummy time – so we never did it – lol. I do have 3 kids ( 6,4, 19 mts) that canhold thier heads up perfectly fine now ; )
the diaper tihng – use ziplock bags ( 100 walmart brand for like 1.50 – stick smelly diaper in and seal!) ) for the stinky diapers – toss them in a pail in the garage, we tried all the diaper “genies” none of them worked too well -some zip lock bags and a regular pail works great : )
You are getting plenty of advice an I’m sure you don’t need any of mine! I just wanted to let you know that I’ve been checking on you and Madeline since I first started reading last week, and you are both in my thoughts daily. You are doing a fantastic job (kinda makes me feel like a bad mom compared to you!), keep it up, and don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. A new baby is overwhelming enough, and you are going to need time to deal with the loss of Liz. Keep it up, you are a wonderful man!
Hi, Matt!
I’m sure that Madeline alone is a chick magnet. With you in addition to her we can multiply the magnetism.
Some of the guys would probably love to see her, but are trying to keep some kind of image or don’t want to compete with the ladies who outnumber them.
Hope you continue to do as well as you have so far – avoid those stranger germs. Rest up after those outings. Are you getting enought advice yet?
Daa! Is there ever enough?
We’re lovin’ Madeline more every day. God bless you two.
Rich
Got the Startribune article sent to me. I’m a 30yr old widower with a 22 month old son. Diaper Genies suck, and honestly I haven’t found a single solution to fix the dirty diaper situation. Crap smells……. nothing changes that. I’ve told my son to quite messing his diaper but I don’t think I’m getting through to him. I’ve threatened to plug his butt with a cork but that whole child abuse thing hangs over my head. Tummy time isn’t any fun, I know I wouldn’t want my face squished in a puddle of my own drool, but it gets better. I long for the days when my son couldn’t move…. now he just runs around like his hair’s on fire. I’m looking forward to reading all of your entries, and your adventures in fatherhood.
You have me hooked. Females, no matter how young or old, love to look at babies. You can see estrogen flowing through the air — I am convinced. Men, on the other hand, roll their eyes. They are rolling them at the women going nuts.
As for the Diaper Genie — throw it in the trash. The best thing is to keep (start using) the regular plastic grocery bags again. Save them and put soiled diapers in them. Then twist the bag and tie it in a knot — with a teeny tiny baby, you can put about 3 diapers in it – and throw it in the garbage. It isn’t quite ecofriendly but the poo poo/pee pee smell in your house will be gone. I hated the Diaper Genie.
Ditto everyone else here. Babies hate tummy time. They don’t know what to do, and they can’t move, and they’re like “Hey…HEY! Why am I face down to the floor? HEY!!!” In a few more months, when she’s a bit more mobile and able to hold her head up, she’ll like it more. Have you considered buying her a Boppy support pillow?
http://www.boppy.com/
You may already have one, but I wanted to suggest it just in case. My daughter loved being propped up on her tummy with my Boppy when she was a wee one. Madeline might be a bit too wee for it now, but soon.
Whoever your bank teller is, she is awesome! Kudos to her for being so caring and kind to you whenever she sees you.
Yep, Diaper Genie’s suck. We have the Diaper Dekor and it doesn’t smell at all. I also use the purple Johnson and Johnson on Joey and it smells good…probably too pretty for a boy, but who cares.
Matt: You’ve made it through another day. That’s a profound statement, I realize. And you have received more advice than you can possibly use, but people care. Get some rest (there’s more advice). And get out of the house whenever somebody gives you a chance. You make us of the male gender look pretty awesome.
Hi Matt-
I saw the article in the strib and have since caught up on the entire blog. I’m not sure what to say really, but your story has stuck with me and I just wanted to reach out and be one more person to tell you how sorry I am and how beautiful your baby is. You seem to be doing a terrific job juggling these new roles, and all the bittersweet emotion that must come along with them. There are a lot of people who care deeply about you and Madeline, and I hope you can continue to draw strength from that.
I hated our Diaper Genie and moved over to the Diaper Champ w/my second. You can use a regular garbage bag and I think the seal is better. So there’s no more special inserts to buy. Check your local Craigslist, no need to buy these things used, and all it takes is a good hose down in the driveway to make it new again.
After a while though it became easier to take the poop diapers outside, and only use the diaper pail for wet ones. Or depending on how your pad is laid out, just put the pail outside the back door or garage door.
Babies stink, then they become todders who stink, clear up to teenagers! But at least w/a girl it’s a lot easier to convince them to not stink so bad.
You’re still doing awesome, big hugs and best wishes.
Matt –
This diaper pail helps with the smell of shit. Dekor XL Diaper Pail (Target sells them) It’s much better than the diaper genie. If they question you at the store when you return the diaper genie just let them you’ve had a shitty few weeks and the last thing you need is to smell the shit in your house too.
Your strength, courage, love for your girls and honest words inspire me to want to be a better person and wife everyday. Thank you for sharing your truth with us.
With our first child we used a diaper genie and we didn’t think it was as great as others thought; especially when you open it to change the bag. It’s a pain in the ass and that smell was terrible! We tossed that thing out and with our second child we started putting diapers into plastic bags. We live in a split level so we’d toss the bag down the steps to the door to the garage and the next person by that door would take it to the trash. No poopy smell in this house!
If I were you I would toss the diaper genie out the window. It is more hassle than it is worth
and the best part about stinky babies is the way they smell after being freshly bathed… it is even nicer when they are wearing soft footsie p.j.s!
Another recommendation to check for neck cheese. It accumulates incredibly fast and starts stinking just as fast. We use the diaper dekor with some kind of scented product our nanny bought that she stuck in its compartment to help mask smells. We still get smells sometimes, but if nothing else, the dekor is MUCH easier to use, at least for me!
Another option is something like the G Diaper — a cloth diaper with space for a pad insert that you can tear up and flush down the toilet. I have to confess we lost patience with it eventually — I never remembered to have enough diapers with inserts lined up and ready to go — but for some people, it works really well.
Oh, and our daughter HATED tummy time too. Somebody upthread recommended lying down with her on your chest — good idea. (Might also give you a chance to nap!) Anyway, like I said, she hated tummy time with a passion… until she figured out how to roll over on her own. Then when it was HER idea, tummy time was great. Then she wanted to work on that crawling thing… the first few months go so slowly, and then suddenly they’re doing all this stuff and you’re just sitting there going, “How did THAT happen?” as they’ll pulling books off your shelves…
Hey M&Ms
Do you have a diaper bucket or are you just throwing them away?
If so then you should try the baby trend diaper champ I love it it doesn’t smell at all until you have to empty it as I just noticed the person above me said (great minds)as for the tummy time she might fuss less if you lay on the bed and you put her on your chest that always works with mine.
chin up, The Bellangers
Genie, schmeenie. Here’s the deal: Since you’re living in a temperate climate, you can get a decent bucket with a lid at Home Depot or wherever and leave it on your back steps. Or outside somewhere. Toss the dipes in there and empty it regularly into your farther-away trash can.
Yeah, kids get stinky. That’s why Baby Magic lotion was invented a jillion years ago. Now everyone thinks that’s how babies are supposed to smell!
You’re doing great. And Madeline gets cuter every day.
another lurker here. I know what you mean about the smell! Formula, spit up, and poop don’t make for the best aromatherapy! Eventually you get used to it and don’t even realize that OMG you smell like it too.
I found you on the Star Trib on-line this week. I am so sorry for the loss of your precious wife and best friend. May time and that precious baby girl make each day a bit easier.
As for the diaper thing. I know we are all becoming more aware of the green thing. We have lived in climates that the newspaper is often delivered in a plastic sleeve. They work great for diapers Put them in, tie them up and if it’s really bad, the bag is long enough to allow you to double bag it. Then we put it in the regular garbage. Our baby is now 12 so it’s ben awhile!
Thanks for sharing yourself and Madeline with us. She’s adorable!
Hi Matt. Another stranger here from Minneapolis hooked on your blog.
I too like the diaper champ. I also put a stick up deoderizer inside the thing for extra help with those smells.
Tummy time does seem to be universally hated by infants. I always try to make sure the baby is well rested and fed. It seems she can handle it longer if she’s already in a good mood.
I’d also like to say how sorry I am for the loss of your dear wife. I think the fact that you are so open and willing to share your story will help you immensely through the grieving process. That sweet little baby of yours will help keep you going too. You’re obviously already a great dad and for that you should be very proud.
I have been following your site since seeing it in the Star Tribune. I just read your recent posting about Madeline and her dislike for tummy time. Try reclining back on the couch and placing her tummy down onto you chest (even works better if she is just in a diaper and you without a shirt…its called Kanagaroo care). Then you can look right at her and interact with her during tummy time!
Sorry I keep bothering you today. Since I found this site this morning I have left and come back multiple times. Its just all too much to bear in one sitting. I can imagine how hard it is to be living it. I think your life and how you’re coping with this tragedy touches anyone who has every loved or been loved.
All babies hate tummy time. Keep giving it to her, you’re doing good. Also good with the music. Talk to you later and have a good day.
You’re doing an amazing job, mate. And you’ll seen get used to being pooped/peed/puked on, especially when she starts on solid foods. Perhaps We could come & visit soon? Dylan would love to see Madeine
I saw a link to your site yesterday. . . I have no soothing words for you. I just can’t even fathom the reality you have been struck with.
Madeline is positively gorgeous. I have three girls and you are right; after that fun newborn smell bring on the stink. I found each one had a different little chub roll that collected all kinds of nastiness, we just call it “the funk.” One would collect the funk in her chubby little neck roll, number two had one armpit that stored the funk and my latest addition collects it behind her left ear.
She is a lucky baby to have such a good papa.
What a beautiful baby. Following your blog and am heartbroken for your loss. In regards to guys who work at banks. You haven’t been to the branch in my city, where my husband works, otherwise he would be tripping over himself to fawn over your beautiful girl (huge baby lover that man, even moreso than me!). As for the stinky baby. Johnson & Johnson’s scented connstarch baby powder is AMAZING. If you don’t want to or can’t bathe her 24/7 (which who has time for anyway), take a babywipe to the rolls and then sprinkle some of the powder on.
Oh and diaper genies are known for being stinky… we tie ‘em up in those otherwise useless plastic bags we get at the store (well we don’t get but in-laws give us bags and bags of them).
Ok, I give up. What’s the deal with “tummy time” for a tiny very young baby. Who’s promoting this and why? I’m sure it must sound good, but hey lots of us never participated in this fad and we believe our kids were none-the-worse for it.
I vote for no more tummy time for Madeline at least until about five or six months when she might be ok with it and be able to stick her head up and see the world. But hey others will probably say I’m just ‘old school.’ Is that so bad.
I think you’re a great father, Matt, and if part of that has to be “tummy time” so be it.
God’s blessings, Matt!
Another lurker from MN…..
For the little pooper smell… just take those things outside ASAP — it is worth the hassle, even when you live in MN and its snowing in May. Trust me friend…
For the odor de bebe…. I know that “men” don’t usually shop at Yankee Candle, but they do make some “male” oriented scents such as Sage and Citrus, or Cucumber Melon, etc… They have this electric candle thing for the wax (no fire danger for baby) and you can make your whole house smell a bit more pleasant… you can also get the matching car freshners and put them in the trashcans and in the baby’s diaper (just kiddin)…. etc….
Hang in there… your daughter will be off to college before you know it, enjoy the poop while you can….
Hi Matt. I’ve been reading your blog everyday and I don’t even know you! Your story has made me re-evaluate my life and the way that I look at things now! I think of you & Madeline every single day. I cannot even imagine what you’re going through and my prayers are with you and your baby girl.
About those diapers…diaper genies, diaper pails, they all SUCK!! That’s my opinion on them after 4 kids. The best way to keep the dirty diaper smell out of your house is wrap up the poopy diaper in a plastic grocery bag and throw it into your outside garbage. Otherwise, you’re just going to keep smelling them!
It’s so nice that you have such a great network of friends and family.
I guess they say that everything happens for a reason. I’ve lost 3 family members, 2 brothers & a father when they were all very, very young so I know what the grieving process is like. They were all too young to die and all 3 of them died in an 18 month period. I thought I’d never get over it but everyday got a little bit easier. Again, I pray for you & think of you and Madeline everyday. Crazy how somebody you’ve never met can affect your life in so many ways. I find myself talking about you to my friends. Well, I’ve rambled on long enough.
Take Care & cherish that baby girl every waking moment.
I am another lurker/complete stranger checking in on you and Madeline every day. Don’t stress about the tummy time. All 4 of my babies hated it. The Diaper Genie doesn’t work. I ended up buying a gigantic box of Ziploc bags and putting the diapers in those and then immediately throwing them outside in the trash can. The plastic grocery sacks serve the same purpose. Aveeno makes baby care products that have a touch of lavendar and vanilla in them. They work goodand smell good. Mustela makes great baby products, too. (Especially if Madeline gets cradle cap) You are an inspiration. Keep up the good work.
Hope you and Madeline have a peaceful weekend.
Hah! Tummy time is indeed universally despised.
FWIW, the baby books are all saying these days that babies don’t need a daily bath, to which I personally said: phooey! Yes they do, or they stink! Both my girls came to really love bathtime by the time they were five or six weeks old; I’d do it at the same time every day — just before a nap — and it helped to settle them into sleep.
Funky little bunnies. They’re cute, but yeah, they stink.
Hey Matt,
I attended the funeral of my husband’s 91 yr old grandmother today, in western Minnesota. I sat and watched as her husband of 71 years said good-bye to her, and cried, shaking his head in disbelief. It was heartbreaking and yet amazing & inspiring to witness the love that was still so alive after all those years of marriage. Then I thought of you and Liz, and felt sadness on another level. Your loss is tremendous, and I’m so sorry that it happened. Your blog is an inspiration, an amazing gift that is allowing Liz to live on, and the world to know her. Thank you for sharing your love.
On to the Diaper Genie…it sucks…get rid of it. Once I opened mine up to empty it, and there were little fruit flies all over the damn place…disgusting. Like many others have written, I too put my daughter’s stinky diapers in a (Target) bag and then outside.
I have 3 young daughters, 2,4 & 6…not one of them liked tummy time either. It seems to be the universal response here. Just keep it brief in the beginning. Have you tried laying down next to her?
Take care and “get some sleep”, yeah right. I love it when people tell you that. I haven’t gotten really good sleep in almost 7 years now!
Peace…Christa
My kids hated tummy time too but do it for just a little while each day. I’ve found propping her chest up with a pillow on a bed lets them see more than just the blanket/floor in front of them:) And it’s easier on you entertaining her that way too cuz you can just sit on the floor:)
Matt,
I found your site today and read for hours, What an amazing dad you are. Be sure to print and save all your blogs for Madeline.
I also agree the Diaper champ is the best. We tried the genie, the Dekor and another brand. The CHAMP’s name says it all!
Enjoy each day with that girl to the fullest that you can!
Hi Matt and sweet Madeline
What an awesome video of her crying and fighting her tummy time!! So cool to hear her cry. She is absolutely gorgeous. I was stuck in an all day seminar today and couldn’t wait to get home and get my “fix” on your web site. I hope that you will continue to let us be a part of your life. I wish that I could find the right words to explain how I feel when I read your words everyday. I have started to read all of the comments as well and it is so uplifting. After my husband died I must have asked myself a thousand times “How can so much goodness come out of something so awful?” The people, the love, the generosity, and since I am from Minnesota of course the food–(as I am sure that you know, people here love to cook when someone is sick or has died)The gifts I received were endless and I am not talking about real gifts-I am referring to all the gifts God sent to me and continues to bless with me with everyday. I would give them all back to have hiim back of course, but that is not an option. Thank you so much for reminding me about what is important in my life. Please keep writing-I guess I am becoming a lurker, too. God bless you and that beautiful child.
i haven’t read all 60-plus comments but wanted to add my 2 cents…
the diaper genie sucks. we traded ours out for a diaper champ and it holds in smells a lot better. if that’s not an option for you try dumping baking soda in the diaper genie. it should cut down on the odor.
for an extra-snuggable baby, california baby products are amazing. or burt’s bees buttermilk line. yummm.
you’re doing a fantastic job and baby m is just so precious. i’m keeping up with your blog daily and you remain in my thoughts and prayers.
Matt,
Just echoing about the hatred of Tummy Time. Jax loved it. Charley hated it. Didn’t lift his head til 6 months– you saw him. He’s fine. He walked before Jax (probably to get off the floor). As said above, “Tummy Time” with her lying on your tummy counts, too. This is how we finally taught Charley to lift his head and roll (no lie, not til six months, that’s about 4 months behind). Bought a couple of different pillows, mirrors etc. Nothing worked. Some babes just don’t like it.
Thinking of you always,
Beki (and all the boys) Cook
Hey Matt,
You think she is stinky now…just wait! My guy is almost 2 now and oh boy!
I haven’t thought about the early baby issues in a long time, but here’s what came to mind…
He was never a huge fan of tummy time, but we tried to work it in little by little – it gets easier as they get older and you can distract them. One thing that we ran into was a flat head! Because he spent most of his time on his back, he favored one side and that side of his head got really flat! It seems to be fine now – either that or his hair just evens it out a bit. So, make sure that you get her to roll her head from side to side. One thing you can do is chage the dierection you put her in her crib each night. Babies will ofter turn away from the wall toward the light.
It’s wonderful that you have so many great people in your life that are helping you thru each day. I have been following your story ever since you posted on Cribsheets and have been amazed by your strength, humor and ability to share so much with so few words. I think of you, Madeline and Liz each day and keep you in my prayers. I never knew Liz, but I can only imagine that she is incredibly proud of you. Thanks for sharing your story and thoughts with so many strangers.
BTW, my son is a huge Wiggles fan…never say never.
Another lurker, who has to share what I did about “that smell” issue. Hope it helps in some way – and is probably repeats of other’s suggestions, but hey, maybe it’ll help.
1) Useless & constant supply of plastic grocery bags are GOOD for double-wrapping stinky diapers – stick them straight in an outside can, save the diaper genie for not-so-smelly wet ones.
2) Baby Magic shampoo & body wash – my Four yr old still has that awesomely wonderful baby smell – due to the shampoo, certainly not anything he gets into on a nearly continuous basis.
Your little girl will someday realize how heroic her father is. Hang in there and take it one day at a time.
New friend here. Fellow parent of a suck monkey. My daughter Madigan hates tummy time. And who would’ve thought? Tummy Time sounds delightful, just in name, doesn’t it? Like, Howdy Doody time, it just sounds grand. What a misnomer.
I was reading through some of your comments on your site. Yeah women just love babies! I think most guys just ain’t into that kind of thing. Although I do meet some who will make comments, but maybe that depends if you are a man or woman. Anyways the best advice I can give you is that baby’s (I don’t know how they know) know how you are feeling. It’s like one of the sense’s that they have that is just mysterious to us all. But hey if you need any advice I will gladly give it to you. Just ask! I have 5kids with 2 in diapers and I am almost 27. So I am still learning! Try a boppy pillow for tummy time. It will give her some support so she is a little more elevated! She’ll be able to see a little more. Good luck!
Ah, the sweet sounds of Madeline are music to my ears! I miss her, though I much prefer that she was the prodigal premie and didn’t stay with us long. How nice to watch her grow through your site.
Gee, what am I going to tell parents now (with this awareness of TT rebellion)? Maybe it’s just not her thing. Heck, I’m 41 and still don’t like being on mine. Anyway, try putting her on your tummy (have you ever referred to your stomach as your tummy?) as suggested above. No worries, she’ll continue to grow/develop just as she’s been doing.
Say, are you okay receiving stuff in the mail from an (almost) perfect stranger? i.e., baby stuff, daddy stuff.
Peace to you.
loved seeing madeline in action! thank you so much for sharing the experience with us first hand. i agree with the other folks about tying up the diapers in plastic bags afterward.. the things you learn from handling cat poopies for 6 years. at least madeline will eventually be pottying on her own!
I have no advice as I am expecting my first baby. Just wanted to say thanks for sharing your life. Madeline is so sweet. I don’t know what your religious beliefs are, but I believe Liz is around you guys and sees you taking such great care of little Madeline.
You are a Hero!
Hi Matt. Just another stranger from MN. I have been “checking in” on you since reading your story in the Star Tribune. It sounds like you are doing a great job, and I love the pics of Madeline. Such a cutie! I have a 6 month-old daughter, so I know how the new parent thing goes. She hated tummy time too – still does. But, we found that the boppy pillow worked well in the beginning. We propped her up on it and she could look around some. Then, when she got used to it, we “graduated” her to tummy time on the floor. The boppy also came in handy when she was learning to sit – we set her inside of it and it supported her some.
As far as the smelly baby thing, I think they all go through that. Keep an eye on those neck folds. I found this to be the source of my babes stink – and cleaned it a few times a day (use a baby wipe during diaper changes). Seemed to help.
Keep up with the amazing work!
Hey you two
) Always love your pictures and videos.
I can see you already have tons of advice, but I guess I won’t let that stop me. My little preemie hated tummy time when we brought her home from the hospital. The funny thing is that at the beginning, when she was itty bitty and in the NICU she LOVED being on her tummy. Anyway, Sadie would scream like no other when we put her on her tummy. The nice thing is that when she was mad, she would actually work her neck muscles! So you have to think of that as a positive. We ended up buying her a tummy time play mat that has a small pillow that props her up. This has made such a difference! This is the mat we bought:
http://www.target.com/Infantino-Tummy-Time-Surfmat-Pink/dp/B000TADPYY/sr=1-1/qid=1209859997/ref=sr_1_1/602-9881109-2035839?ie=UTF8&index=target&rh=k%3Atummy%20time&page=1
She loves music and lights to look at too, so we also bought this: http://www.target.com/Bright-Starts-Tropical-Turtle/dp/B000TFLAZ0/sr=1-1/qid=1209860221/ref=sr_1_1/602-9881109-2035839?ie=UTF8&index=target&rh=k%3Aturtle%20bright%20starts&page=1
It is a musical and light up turtle. She gets distracted that she is on her tummy and pays attention to it. Anyway, we took her for her 5 months check up a couple weeks ago and the doctor was very impressed by her neck strength on her tummy. (She’s still a peanut– less than 10 pounds)
Hope this helps you in some way. Best of luck to you and Madeline.
Hi Matt,
A friend sent me the link to your blog, and I spent the better part of my morning crying, and smiling while I read through your writings. You are an inspiration to everyone.
Having children gives us strength we never knew we had. Somedays you don’t know how you keep going, but you just do. I guess because once you have a little life completely depending on you, you have no choice but to keep going.
I plan to keep up with you, and follow you on your journey. Much love and hugs to you and Madeline.
P.S. You have some great suggestions already, but when my boys were small (they are now 6 and 9), running the shower and holding them in the bathroom while it ran always put them to sleep. They loved the sound of the running water.
I lost my husband of 57 years on February 29th. I miss him so much and can’t imagine what it is like for you. Raising a baby should be a family affair and my heart goes out to you. You are so brave.
Hi Matt!
I know this entry is old (I just found your blog and I’ve only gotten this far!), but I wanted to say that my husband constantly tells me how beautiful a baby is or says “Hi Baby” to little ones he sees. I know he would never do this if it were just him though.
We are expecting our first in late September. It’s so wonderful to know that there are such loving and caring fathers out there.
Hi Matt,
I live in New Zealand and just saw you guys on the Rachel Ray Show today. I just had to email you to say what a great job your doing and how inspirational you are.
Madeline is lucky to have a father like you.
Have a great day.
Sarah