many saturdays
(and sundays)
started with
liz
doing something
that was, at times,
both endearing
and endlessly
annoying.
i don’t sleep all
that much
(never really have, i get even less these days)
and i liked to get up
rather early on weekends
(up at 6:00am…there’s so much to do…no time for sleep).
i would do stupid
things.
take photographs,
read,
listen to music.
whatever.
just wanted to use
up the day
completely.
liz liked to sleep.
needed at least 8 hours,
loved 10-12.
doing the math,
i was sometimes
up for 1-5 hours
before
liz
rolled out of bed.
our house
is rather small.
if you said something
under your breath,
it could be heard on
the other end of the place.
liz
knew this, but
she loved to pick
up her phone
and call me.
why not just yell to me?
she knew
i could ignore her,
but the phone,
the phone is like my
version of
the stimuli pavlov used
on his dogs.
so my phone
would ring
i’d jump up to answer it
and there would be
liz.
“good mooooooorning!”
“come play with me!”
what that meant was,
quit doing the stupid
things that you’re
doing
and come talk to me.
sometimes i agreed.
sometimes i told her
i was busy.
what the fuck was i thinking?
this saturday started
differently.
i’m sleeping less now than
ever.
and the timing of that sleep
varies from
day-to-day.
managed
to get to sleep around
6:00am.
at 9:00am,
the housekeeper ringing
the doorbell,
we were shaken from our
sleep.
(well, at least i was…madeline kept sleeping).
we hung out for
a bit
then i took
madeline on a field trip.
(it’s so cool that she’s so mobile).
first – to the camera store
where we did a
little shopping.
second – to huntington hospital.
we were in the
neighborhood
so i figured we
should stop by
and visit the nurses
who took such good
care of us.
it was difficult,
walking through those doors,
into that place.
but it was good.
stopped by the high-risk unit.
saw some of
liz’s
nurses
and her favorite pca.
everyone was so kind,
unbelieving that madeline
was already almost
7 weeks old.
noticed immediately
that the
“liz”
plant was still getting plenty
of water and attention.
stopped in the nicu
to find my favorite
madeline caregivers.
saw no one i recognized
so we left.
realized
it feels extremely weird
to have people
holding doors for me.
i normally do that stuff
and still try to do so,
even while pushing
a stroller.
but people insist on
being the polite ones,
letting us enter elevators
and walk through doors first.
returned from our
adventures to find
the house looking better
than ever.
it didn’t take me long
to undo that.
mail arrived with
gifts for both of us.
a package of baby stuff
from jeff and sarah h.
and a package of books from
stranger friend, juanita g.
elizabeth and her girls
came by to organize
madeline’s clothes mountain.
turns out that madeline
has already
outgrown some of
her clothes.
(how awesome is that?).
gabrielle and family
+
gloria and family
brought food and
made sure that i ate.
auntie deb arrived
and spoiled madeline long
enough for me to take
a 45 min. couch nap.
i hope to get a
few of those while
deb is in town.
tomorrow is sunday.
i’ll be waiting for my
phone to ring…
i know it will,
it just won’t be the
one person
i really want to
talk to.
80 Comments
Matt,
Letting you know that I will be thinking of you today. You are doing a great job with Madeline..Keep it up. Hang on to the strength of family, friends and even all the people who have grown to care about you…even though we have never met. Liz surrounds you daily. Be well..my friend. Take care of yourself.
Matt,
Thinking of you here in Louisville, KY. You and Madeline are an inspiration. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings with us strangers….you are helping others in ways you cannot imagine. Happy Mother’s Day to you….Liz would be proud.
Happy Mother’s Day Matt. You are the greatest mommy and daddy in the world. Liz is very very proud and Madeline is very very lucky. Try to see the sunshine through the clouds today.
Kristin
Congrats on being a wonderful parent that liz would be so proud of. Your parenting, photography and outlook on life are inspiring to us all. Liz will call on you in little ways, it just might be when you least expect it. We’re here for you.
Stranger from the Mpls.
Happy Mothers Day Matt! It is a gorgeous sunny day here in “the MN” hope you find the same your way. Hope you and Madeline have a wonderful First Mothers Day.
Pam (from the MN)
I was led to your blog by another Flickrian yesterday. I spent over an hour reading and wiping away tears. You are such an amazing father and husband. I just wanted you to know that you now someone else (in GA) thinking about you. I agree with what Krisitin said above…I am sure Liz is so proud of you. Oh and thanks for adding me on Flickr, your pictures are great to look at.
I am sorry That Liz is not here to spend Mothers day with you and Madeline {{{{{hugs}}}}} Keeping you close to my heart today …..
I just found your blog within the past day and I find myself addicted. I admire your strength and courage. You are making one hell of a dad! I don’t know you or your family, but I’m sure Liz is smiling down on you on this Mother’s Day!
liz would be so proud of you if she saw you today. you are truly a wonderful father to little miss madeline. she is the absolute most beautiful baby i have ever seen. i enjoy your blog so much and look forward to reading it whenever i get up in the morning.
Checked in on you and Madeline first thing this morning, just like we do every other day. Seem to have the same leaking eye problem that a lot of the others have. We know that today probably isn’t going to be a great day for you. We will be thinking of you more than usual. Try and find some happiness with friends, family and especially Maddy today.
Hang in there and Happy Mother’s Day!
Just wanted to say happy first mothers day to you, Matt. I read your blog everyday now and am never less than amazed at your strength. I can imagine that Liz is very proud of you…I hope you have a wonderful day.
Happy Mothers Day Matt, know you are doing a fantastic job. Go and be outside today and have some quiet time with Madeline. You will feel Lizs presence today, just be patient. Thinking of you all today. Enjoy your day as best as you can.
PS this picture of her at the table is a pretty good one, but the Broback wedding pic is still #1 for me.
PSS If you’r ever up early and need to chat or write, I’m up early too.
Sending Lots of Love……
Oh Matt.
The last line just did me in today. Thinking of you today and tomorrow as I know you are getting a one-two punch with Mother’s Day and Madeline’s original due date. There are no words to express my sadness for you.
Happy Mother’s Day Matt. You are doing a wondeful job as Daddy to Maddie and as Mommy to her also. I am assuming today will be hard(er) than most. Hope you have lots of cuddle time with sweet Madeline. Thinking of you today
Happy Mother’s Day!! You are doing a terrific job with Madeline. You should be very proud of yourself. I check in with daily and love hearing about your days. I am a mom to my 3yo daughter, Samantha and my 2 month old son, Parker. It is not easy caring for an infant by yourself. You make me remember to be grateful for what I have on a daily basis. Enjoy your day….:)
Matt,
Happy Mother’s Day to Liz, she did a great job growing that baby girl in that little bitty tummy of hers.
Take a nap for her today, she’d like that.
Kat
Matt, you are doing such a great job parenting Madeline. I’m not surprised she has already outgrown some of her clothes. She looks like a healthy, happy, well cared for baby. You should be very proud of yourself. A new baby is a tremendous amount of work and responsibility for any parent, yet you are succeeding in spite of your circumstances. Madeline is very fortunate to have you for her daddy.
I love the pictures you have been posting of Liz. The outgoing, happy, friendly personality you speak of definitely shows in her photos. Her smiles are so beautiful and genuine they make me feel happy just looking at her. I am so sad for you and even angry that this happened. If I, as a complete stranger feel this way, I can only imagine the grief you and her loved ones must be feeling. Keep taking one day at a time . Know that your blogging is reaching so many people who have been touched by your story and are sending many prayers and good vibes for your future. I truly believe we are all connected in some way. How else can we explain the sorrow and heart ache we feel for a complete stranger?
I have been following your story (from Denver, CO), and have never left a comment before. It just dawned on me that you likely look forward to visitor comments, so I thought I would let you know that you and Madeline have been in my thoughts. I cannot imagine how hard this must be for you…especially today. (((hugs))) and kisses to you and your sweet, beautiful little girl.
Thinking of you, Madeline and Liz today. Still can’t find the right words, but please know how much we all admire, respect and care about you. See we woman stick together, so I believe we were all sent to you from Liz. Liz, Happy Mothers Day and we got your back.
Hi Matt,
I’m another stranger from MN who has been following your blog for a couple of weeks now. Like so many others, I spent a lot of time reading your story when I first found your blog. What you have gone through, and are going through, is unimaginable to me. I am both heartbroken for you and inspired by you. Madeline is a lucky, lucky girl to have you for a daddy. I just wanted to say that I can tell you what you probably weren’t thinking in the times that you told Liz you were busy. You weren’t thinking that you would lose your beautiful and fun-loving wife so soon and so tragically. You were being you and pursuing the not-stupid things that interest you. The fact that you have those interests was probably something Liz loved about you. I hope you aren’t too hard on yourself for doing stuff like that. We all do it. It’s okay. I hope you and Madeline have a wonderful day today!
Another new reader chiming in. Your blog makes my heart smile and my pregnant hormones cry. The love in your words and pictures is overwhelming.
Happy Mother’s Day to your beautiful wife.
I have seen other parents use a stuffed animal to take monthly pictures with their little ones to compare size to during their first year, I think the robot would be the perfect pictue buddy for Madeline.
Have a great day Matt.
Happy Mother’s Day! You deserve the Mother of the Year award!
When you are ready, tell us how you and Liz met.
Another idea for the SSN money, since you are such a beautiful writer and photographer, is to write a book for Madeline (a hard cover that you self-publish). The book could talk about how you met, your favorite Liz moments, your favorite Liz pictures, anything that will help Madeline know her precious mommy.
I’m sorry Liz won’t be there today on her first Mother’s Day. She is no doubt so proud of you wherever she is. I hope you find some joy in the day. I am also hoping Liz’s mom and your mom are ok – this must be a hard day for them too. Wishing you all peace.
Your post today was especially hard. I can relate to the 10-12 hours…
Hi Matt – I am a first time writer here on your blog, but I am a long time stalker/lurker from the mn. I have been reading your blog since the very beginning when I first saw Liz’s obit in the Strib. I was struck by sadness of someone so young and beautiful dying so suddenly and tragically.
What I find here from you on a daily basis is inspiration. You make me laugh, smile and cry – sometimes all at the same time. I do not have any children so I can’t give you any sage parenting advice, but what I can do is be here daily to listen and offer support from afar.
Please know that on this Mother’s Day and every day that there are so many people supporting you and saying prayers for you. You are doing a fabulous job with Madeline, she is a beautiful baby who I’m sure will grow into a beautiful young lady taking the best of you and Liz with her.
Be well,
Kris in the mn
Thinking of you and Madeline today and sending lots of hugs, positive thoughts, and peace your way.
I’m so sorry that Liz couldn’t be here to celebrate Mother’s Day, but I have no doubt that her love and spirit are surrounding you both.
My new Mother’s Day tradition that I just shared with my grown-kids will be to plant a pink rose bush (the hardy easy kind) every single year, wherever I am, in memory of Liz. Just think Matt…. all that pink!! Like my garden is smiling!
Just another interloper joining the others in thinking about you today. I can imagine this day is especially tough…
I am sending prayers of peace and hope for you and prayers of thanksgiving for Liz and the marvelous little girl who made her a mother.
Hang in there.
I know from personal experience how difficult holidays are without your loved one (although my experience was a little different…). Just wanted to wish you a good mother’s day (I can’t imagine it being too “happy”)…you’re being a great father and mother. Also wanted to wish Liz’s mom (assuming she’s around?) a good mother’s day…this must be so difficult for her too. Hopefully you have some company today to help take your mind off things…Hang in there and know that we’re here to support you every step of the way.
Oh, what a FANTASTIC idea! I’ll plant a rosebush as well, every year!!! I choose yellow becuase Liz’s smile makes me think of sunshine. Happy Mother’s Day Matt. You’re the best daddy Madeline could dream up even if she had a thousand times to do it.
I’m going out soon with husband & friend and we will toast the wonderful women in your life. I use the present tense because I know that while not physically present, Liz will always be a part of your life. Peace and hugs to you and Madeline. May the love of your friends and family ‘hold’ you.
Matt,
I recently found your site, linked from a friend. You have brought tears to my eyes and a smile to my face at the same time. I can tell how much you love Liz and Madeline. You are doing a great job as a dad!
Katie
Yet another post from Minnesota and another person who has a little Maddie!
Thinking of you on Mothers Day and hoping you are doing as good as you can. These days can be so, very hard. You will get through it though – I promise!
happy mother’s day, matt. i have been thinking of you, madeline, and liz all day.
Happy Mothers Day Matt. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Madeline today and every other day. I am sure Liz would be so proud of the dad you have become.
Danielle
Today especially has got to be a tough day. I wish you a happy mothers day and will whispering the same to Liz.
See you tomorrow.
happy mother’s day. i lit a candle at church this morning in memory of liz and in honor of you and madeline. i hope you are able to be at peace today. you and madeline remain in my thoughts as always.
I am really sorry that Liz isn’t here to celebrate with you today. It sounds like she really looked forward to being a mom and she really deserves to be honored today. Liz, thank you for doing such a great job of growing Madeline. We are all better because of the gift that you gave the world when you gave birth to Maddie.
We are thinking of you, Madeline and especially of Liz’s mom, who must also be missing her girl terribly today. Happy Mother’s Day, Matt. To you and to Liz.
xxxxxxxx,
j.
At Church today the priest said Mother’s Day isn’t just about biological mothers, but is to celebrate the feminine love. So Matt, that gets to be you too!!! If Maddie grows up anything like my Emily, you’ll have to play Mommy, like I always have to play Daddy….
Keep making up proud….our love to you and Maddie, and Auntie Deb who also has to help with that feminine love stuff, and especially to Candee, and always, Lizzie.
I am thinking of you today, well, every day actually. Your blog has been inspirational to me to move forward beyond my own difficult circumstances. You, Madeline and Liz are making a difference in this world. I know that Liz is with both of you. It won’t come via a phone call but I pray in the stillness you can feel her presence. God bless.
Sorry Matt, this one’s for Liz.
Dear Liz,
Happy Mothers Day! You are surely so in love with little Madeline! I know you are checking in on Matt and Madelyn. Have you given them any signs you are there? I’m sure you just watch your two loves while they are sleeping. Really, you never have to miss a minute! I’ll bet you have a ton of new friends where you are now. My friend Michele is with you. She died a year after getting married. She does a nice karoke version of Cheap Trick’s “I want you to want me.” She really wanted kids, but now I bet she is taking care of all the little kids up in heaven whose parents aren’t there yet.
Matt is doing a wonderful job. In all of her pictures Madeline has such cute (matching) little clothes. He is so good at capturing that newborn glow in her. Daddy/daughter bonds are so precious and with his sense of humor, prom dress shopping should be a lot of fun for the two of them. I can see the love the two of you had for each other and he really misses you.
Continue to look after your family, there will still be hard days, but your spirit lives on.
Thinking of you and Madeline today, Matt. Thinking of you two a LOT today. Sending positive thoughts and prayers from across the miles.
mn blog reader just stopping in to see how mother’s day was going. . . i wish the phone would ring for you. i’m still wishing liz a happy mother’s day, wherever she is, and to both your mom and her mom. and to you! you are doing an amazing job in the face of extremely tough times.
Matt – I’m thinking of you today… I came across your blog thru a message board and all the ladies on that site think so highly of you and are sending you all their stength today and everyday. You are a wonderful father to Miss Madeline – she is absolutely beautiful and precious. Hold on tight – they grow so fast…
Take care.
You’re in my thoughts today. I want to honor Liz and say Happy Mother’s Day to her and say to you. I hope you find some peace today and know we’re all thinking about you as you are a wonderful parent to that beautiful baby girl.
I forgot to say earlier that I am so disappointed I wasn’t working yesterday when you went by the hospital. How brave you are to have gone back. I do hope I’m there if you ever come by again (though I certainly don’t expect it.) I’m lucky I get to keep up with you and Madeline here. Take good care.
Matt – Happy Mother’s Day to an AMAZING parent. There have been many times over the past number of weeks that your strength and emotion have helped to make me a better mom – when I have hugged my two girls a little longer or kissed them a few extra times thinking of your story. Thank you for sharing and continuing to inspire so many people.
Matt,
I’m sorry that Liz is not here with you – I think it sucks. You are an amazing dad and Madeline is one very blessed little girl. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Laura (in the MN)
Another stranger sending my very best wishes and thoughts for you and Madeline from upstate NY.
I’m a mother of two and I’ve been following your website and just find your story heartbreaking but your wit, your creativity and your attitude inspiring. Your daughter Madeline is so lucky to have you as a dad – she’s going to be one strong lady surrounded by all your friends/family and with such a great daddy! I think on this Mother’s Day – your wife would be so proud of how you are leading your life in the wake of her death. I do love hearing your Liz stories and seeing the pictures. I hope you realize how many strangers your family has touched!
Matt,
Just sending along thoughts for you today. You, Maddy and Liz haven’t been far from my thoughts all day. I’m just so sorry.
Beki C. (and family)
Had to comment about “the one person I want to talk to”. Before my husband’s surgery, He told me that if anything happened, this person would help me and this person would help me, and I said “but the problem will be that the only person I will want is you, and you will be the only one who can’t help me”. It is so true… when you rely on someone for your emotional safety, and that person is taken from you… what do you do?
Just a note at the end of your first Mother’s Day without Liz that there are lots of people out there thinking about you and your family. I hope the day passed without too much pain and that tomorrow is ok too. Keep taking it one day at a time and keep sharing with us. We all care.
I am new to your website and your story certainly tugs at my heart. I thought about you and Madeline all day. You are an amazing Dad. Love from Illinois.
Hi Matt –
– it’s called MyPublisher.com – they have different formats and you are able to plug in your own pics and add written stories/explanations for the pics – it’s so easy. I have done one for Zoe for her first three months and will continue to do them in 3 month chunks for her first year. It would be a great way to get some of Liz’s pictures and stories down in something that Madeline could always pull out whenever she wanted. Just thought I would piggyback on another idea.
Thought of you, Madeline and Liz today(as always) – a Happy Mother’s day to all of the women in your life and to you!
I saw one of the other posters mentioned something about doing a book for Madeline. I wanted to tell you about this site I used to make one for my little girl. You may have already heard of it but I will tell you again
I just love all of the new pics of Madeline – she is getting so big! It’s funny to say that to you because I have myself a little chunker (4 months and she weighed 16 pounds – they call that the 95th percentile, haha) and everyone is always saying how big she is – sometimes I feel bad cause I don’t always know what people mean when they say stuff like that! I guess it probably feels the same way when people tell you how tiny or small she looks. I suppose we are just lucky to have our little girls – no matter what size they are! Sorry I went on a tangent there – just had to tell you that Madeline is such a doll and is changing every day! You are doing such a great job with her – wish I could help you out with that phone call! Know that so many people are thinking of you today and every day! Take care of you!
Jen and Zoe
Matt,
I first read about you in the Star Tribune. My heart broke for the two of you. I couldn’t stop thinking about your story. Then a friend of mine sent me a link to your blog and I’ve been reading and crying and experiencing a lot of emotions all at the same time just as many others have as well. I just wanted you to know that we’re all thinking and praying for you and Madeline.
Happy Mothers Day!
Thinking of you, Madeline and especially Liz a lot today.
It is so not right that she is not there with you both to celebrate this day.
I hope today went ok for you and that you were able to spend time with family, friends, and the robot. Your pictures (as always) are wonderful and Madeline looks great! She is so beautiful, just like her mommy. Take care Matt, I hope you are able to get a little more sleep tonight.
Hi Matt,
I hope you had a good Sunday. When I look at Liz’s pictures, I think “How can that beautiful woman not be here??”. It is the ultimate in “not fair” that she is not here with you and Madeline.
Keep on taking things one day, or one hour, at a time. You are doing great.
Hugs from Georgia.
Just want you to know that you and Madeline are in my prayers every day. Peace.
Hi there, Matt and Madeline. I’m Lisanne, originally from Indiana but now living in upstate New York. I happened across your blog yesterday via an online friend of mine who’s into photography, and words can’t express how *deeply* my heart hurts for you. Your little girl is *so* beautiful, as was your precious wife. I was glued to reading your blog entries yesterday and couldn’t stop thinking about you the entire day. I just want to know that I’m holding you in my thoughts and prayers, and hopefully that will help at least a tiny, tiny bit.
Thinking of you and Madeline. (((HUGS)))
Thank you for sharing this with us… My husband and I do (almost) the same thing… he gets up at 6 a.m. (natural early riser) and goes downstairs, around 9 I wake up and I yell “Matt!!!” (his name is Matt too), and he knows that’s the cue to come up and play. We lay in bed and talk, sometimes watch “The Soup” on TIVO… I can’t imagine losing that part of my week, my heart breaks for you
I think next time I’m going to give him a ring on the phone.
It is so sad and unfortunate that people need to learn the hardest lesson of their life (you in this situation) for others to clearly know and understand what they have.
The story of Liz calling you from the bedroom made me laugh, and it painted such a visible portrait of the wonderful woman you were married to. It’s easy to have regrets when you lose someone. But I guarantee you that you were a wonderful husband and friend to Liz, and that you gave her every ounce of love that you had to give, and then some. I hope you can take comfort in that.
Repeat visitor stranger from Denver. Did you know that at work, when I am on the computer, most photo websites are blocked by my employer’s websense? Kodak gallery, photobucket, snapfish (the horror!) etc. But not this blog. And not flickr. How cool is that? Like the universe is telling me that I need to keep visiting your blog and your life. BTW, how do you feel about arranged marriages for Madeline? My son Brody is almost 2 – and very cute. Just an idea.
You are amazing. HUGS and POSITIVE VIBES being sent your way.
I thought about Liz yesterday and silently wished her a Happy Mother’s Day. I realized that she gave you the best gift of all… Maddy. That makes her the best mommy EVER. I don’t think she would have traded Madeline for… anything.
Praying for you today, Matt.
weow- 66 comments- yer a rock star brother.
I did think of you this weekend-.
Your girl is looking amazing!!!
Can I see a show of hands: Who keeps re-loading the page to see if Matt’s posted anything?!?
(I’M not doing that, I just wondered if y’all were. I’m *totally* working.)
i keep having this thought- especially after i saw the posed shots of you on the beach wiht the robot.
you should *SO* go in to some corny family photo place- like at wal- mart or something and get a portrait done with you madeline and the robot.
please.
http://www.monmouth.com/~mcresort/images/McResort%20Family%20Portrait.JPG
i dunno who that is.
but come on.
Just wanted to let you know how truly amazing I find your family. Its the first thing I check after my email when I get to work. You are doing amazing things. I look forward to your blogs everyday all the way from Iowa and even though we don’t know each other I pray for your family everyday. Keep up the good work. Best Wishes all the way from Iowa! P.S. Your daughter is very beautiful!
@hawkfeather: Ingenious! I’m picturing Matt, in a light-blue gingham shirt, and maybe a sweater vest. Maddy needs to wear lots of ruffles, and there needs to be a bow stuck to her little head. A BIG bow. Or a bonnet!
And of course, the robot needs no accoutrements, he rocks as-is.
LOL! What an awesome visual…
Kate in Northridge, my hand is in the air. Have only reloaded the page twice today (okay, maybe 4 times) Obviously, still nothing posted.
Better get back to my kiddos/work.
Just another “stranger” here. Wanted to let you know you have me addicted. I love your story & I get “teary” & laugh, everytime I read it & see the wonderful pictures. I thought of you again this morning when I saw in the news near me that a mom gave birth shortly after her husband died. birth. I hope she is able to express herself as well as you have so far. (You can read it on http://www.wjz.com)
To the poster Christine who mentioned being blocked by Websense: I used to work for Websense. Its not the universe allowing you visit this blog, sorry. Its the Websense database. Your employer is most likely blocking sites by category, and photo-sharing Web sites are in a different category than blogs. And a lot of blogs aren’t in the Websense database, because they’re added by a small army of Web site categorizing people. Unfortunately, you may eventually find this Web site blocked as well, once the small army finds it.
Matt – just found your link today b/c a friend mentioned it. I am so sorry for your loss, though I’m sure you hear that all the time. Just know you’ve got someone in south Georgia praying for you, Madeline, your family and friends.
Dear Matt,
Your daily entries give me a full range of emotion daily…tears, laughter, inspiration, etc. You’re doing a wonderful job and I think Liz would be so proud. Life is just totally unfair sometimes, but you’ve turned this around and shared your story with so many (nosey) people. I hope you know that you and Madeline are in my thoughts daily and I can’t wait to continue to read your blog and watch her grow up on my computer screen.
Found the answer I was looking for. If little Madeline didn’t already have “Where the Wild Things Are,” I was going to send her a copy. Does she have the Shel SIlverstiein Books? Where the Sidewalk Ends, etc.?
If not, please let me know. I would love to send those for her. She’ll ask you at night to read “just one more.”
Dear Matt: It will be a year tomorrow that you celebrated(survived)your first Mother’s Day. I am sure that this Mother’s Day doesn’t feel any better than it did last year. My brother and my family along with Jackie’s family are thinking of tomorrow with heavy hearts. Tomorrow Jackie’s First Mothers Day!!!! She waited 37 years to be a mother and now this day is here but she’s GONE. It sucks, you know that as well as we do that life is so unfair. Unfair to you and my brother, unfair for the daughter’s that are left behind. It’s another one of those holiday’s that you don’t really want to acknowledge that you don’t feel like celebrating but yet you have a mother, a mother that has been there for you your whole life, and you know that even though you now hate the Mother’s Day Holiday, you know that life is so unpredictable and that you should make sure you show your mother how much you love her and you know HOW LUCKY YOU are to have had for mother in your life for so many years. We will be thinking of you and Maddy and all the children who will be missing their mother’s tomorrow. i am attaching Jackie’s video, if you have time and want a good cry watch it.
Happy Sunday(Mother’s Day) to you and Maddy.
Rosann
http://www.onetruemedia.com/shared?p=786083f5ea3aa9a2227af5&skin_id=801&utm_source=otm&utm_medium=text_url
I saw your book online somewhere and I had to come read the story for myself.
Holy. Shit.
I have to tell you that this:
“sometimes i agreed.
sometimes i told her
i was busy.
what the fuck was i thinking?”
will never leave me. This will be in my head the next time I hesitate to choose my loved ones over anything else.
Also, thank you for sharing your story. It’s a life changer.
I’m new to your blog, so I’ve been reading a little each day, and the past few days I’ve been reading, “World Spins Madly On” by The Weepies has randomly come up on my iTunes. The funny thing is that it’s actually perfect for you and Liz, especially this entry. There’s a line that goes “and everything that I said I’d do, like make the world brand new and take the time for you” and it seriously played just as I read the “sometimes i said i was too busy. what the fuck was I thinking?” part of this blog. Crazy coincidence. Since you’re into music, you should listen to it. I think you’d like it..but if you hate it, I was never here…:)