woke up early and had a
great morning with madeline.
her 2-month birthday.
a big day started
with some
tummy time
combined with kangaroo care
we accomplished a lot.
madeline’s very alert
in the morning, and i
didn’t want to hog
all that cuteness, so
i brought her out to the
living room to share her
with awesome auntie deb.
soon after,
grandma broccoli and grandpa rodney
arrived to spend some time
with their granddaughter.
(amazing how they don’t even notice i’m here).
i’ve been meaning
to get a few things
so we decided to go
shopping.
awesome auntie deb
decided to do some work
so the rest of us
headed to one of those
big baby stores
to get more bpa-free bottles
and a few other
essentials.
bought a new baby sling
(one that even a total moron could use).
saw all these
fucking perfect,
happy,
nuclear families.
they made me angry
and just a lot sad.
i’m not angry
at them.
just angry that madeline
won’t have that same thing.
but then i got happy,
realizing once again
that she may actually
have more
support,
love,
happiness,
then all of them combined.
too bad for them
that their mothers
didn’t die 27 hours
after they were born.
(please don’t take that literally).
we left that place
and went to get madeline
another dresser for
her ever-expanding
clothes/books/toys collection.
decided to use the sling as
we wandered around that
gigantic swedish furniture
store.
so…the sling.
the one that “a total moron could use”?
it took this moron
and his moronic parents
25 minutes
to figure out.
finally got madeline
properly into the thing
at which time
she started screaming.
i told her in a gentle voice
to calm down.
she did.
(she follows directions very well).
so here we go.
a father walking around
with a baby strapped
to his stomach.
the looks were incredible.
some looked at me as though
i was an alien.
others (mostly young woman)
thought it was “cute”
(as i heard one say).
i’ll take cute over alien
any day.
wandered around for what
seemed like days
until we finally found
the dresser i wanted.
grandpa rodney
paid for the dresser
while grandma broccoli, madeline and i
stood in line for $.50 hotdogs.
lots of looks
at this presumed may-december
relationship.
not sure what’s worse.
everyone thinking that
awesome auntie deb is the mom,
or
that grandma broccoli is.
(okay, i do know what’s worse).
(and i just vomited up that $.50 hotdog).
made it home with enough
time for grandpa rodney
to build the dresser
before heading to
the coast for dinner.
i opened a whole bunch
of packages
while grandma held madeline.
friend paul m. from the mn sent
madeline a sweet pink jacket and pants.
stranger friend meghan m. from the md
sent us something that i needed
but didn’t know
existed.
(a formula container for the diaper bag)
along with some formula,
an awesome swadling blanket
and
a gift cert. to amoeba!
(so, so nice).
stranger friend krista m. from the pasadena
sent a baby einstein dvd and a wii game
for madeline me.
stranger friend susan b. from the ny
sent madeline a hand-knit hat
and some diaper coupons (yes!).
stranger friend yvonne sent us a robot ornament!
so, so awesome!
stranger friend erin w. from the oc
sent an awesome piece of robot art
to be framed for madeline’s room
(and promised to send some cookies in the future).
speaking of cookies, auntie mary & uncle brian
sent a who mess of cookies
(they lasted less than 2 hours).
we left the house,
and ended up
taking the scenic route
(read: slow route)
and saw a gorgeous sunset
as we drove up the hill
and down through the canyon.
(glad we took this route).
finally arrived at one of
liz’s
favorite seafood restaurants.
got a seat near the window
and watched the waves
hit the shore.
i smiled.
somehow i found myself
sitting with just my mom
and madeline.
(where did everyone else go?)
the lady behind me
asked,
“are you here with your wife?”
jesus.
there’s nothing left in
my stomach to vomit up,
so i spit out,
“no. my wife died the day after she was born. that’s my mom.”
quite surprisingly, that didn’t
end the conversation.
she asked lots
of questions.
and i was happy to answer.
grandpa rodney and awesome auntie deb
reappeared and we had dinner.
could barely eat.
was too busy
thinking about all the
times i was here with
liz.
we drove home
and i fell
asleep as soon as
my head hit the pillow.
not a bad day.
tomorrow will likely suck.
80 Comments
1:30 am in the Mpls (well, actually the Osceola). Just checking to see if maybe, just maybe, you posted early… and there she is! Happy Birthday Miss Madeline! It’s that great time of year where all the little yellow goslings are waddling about… crabapples in bloom… lilacs and lily-of-the-valley in full scent… thinking of you and Madeline today…
I hope Saturday was a good one and Sunday is a better one.
Happy Birthday Madeline. Look how much you have grown! Your Daddy is taking such good care of you. You have a very special Daddy
Dear Madeline! Happy Birthday… You look absolutely stunning… just like your Mom! Your Dad is doing such a great job! Of course I know you cant read now! But someday you will…
Matt, she’s so beautiful and vibrant!
And your strength continues to inspire me.
In your words “You’re so f***ing awesome!”
Happy Birthday Miss Madeline!!! You are growing and growing!
Matt, you are in my prayers!
She’s so cute!
so beautiful
2 months! Happy Birthday Madeline!!! Such a big girl. Hope you had a great birthday!
Happppppy 2 month Birthday Madeline! You are getting so big and your daddy is doing such a great job taking care of you. I hope someday Maddy will read all the wonderful postings and see how very much she and her daddy and her mommy are thought of each and every day. Matt, you really are a true inspiration to all. =]
Happy Birthday Madeline. Wow, look at how much you have grown! You are absolutely beautiful. Your dad is taking such great care of you!!
I wish you and your dad both a happy Sunday.
happy second month birthday Madeline!
Have a good rest Matt!
Happy Birthday sweet Madeline! She is so beautiful, especially in yellow (my favorite color).
I keep meaning to tell you every time I read that “awesome auntie deb” really is awesome! seems like she is always there to help you!
Hope you have a good day celebrating the gift, that is Madeline.
Happy Birthday Little Miss M. You are so pretty. Such a pretty little baby!
Happy 2 months to the beautiful Miss Madeline! She is getting SO BIG!
Her eyes look so blue in that photo…..what a doll!
Hope you guys had a good night and have a wonderful day today.
I need to say hello today , I have been reading for a short time , I am amazed by you , how you are managing and doing so well for Madeline , Liz is proud of you and what you continue to do , I am so proud of you , you should tell anyone who will listen about Liz , we all share our birth stories and Liz is part of your story , it may be hard for people to hear , but I am glad you have shared , it gives perspective to all who hear it ,
it breaks my heart that you are going through this, thank you have touched my life.
Chris
Oshawa , Ontario Canada.
Happy Birthday little one! You are adorable!
Happy 2 month bday little beauty! Hope you are all well. Re: yesterday’s post, heck I’m so proud of all of you and I’m a stranger. Big hugs!
Happy Birthday!
She gorgeous, and so amazing to watch her grow. Makes me think I didn’t appreciate it enough when my boys where babies.
She definately looks like a “baby” not a newborn, does that make sense to anyone?
Kat
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Sana helwa ya gamil
Sana helwa ya gamil
Sana helwa ya Madeline
Sana helwa ya gamil
My goodness Madeline! Look how much you’ve grown. Pretty soon you won’t need that help sitting up.
Love the ducky outfit. You look quite good in yellow.
She is so cute! Happy 2-month birthday to her!!
HERZlichen Gluckwünsche Madeline on your 2 month birthday! Carpe Diem! :O)
Wow, she is so pretty and alert in this picture! It looks like you are doing a fabulous job helping her learn and grow!
long time lurker, first time poster… So much I want to say, but can’t find the words – after seeing this picture of Madeline I had to say SOMETHING! She is absolutely beautiful, Matt!! Happy two months to Miss Maddy! You’re in my daily thoughts and prayers! Hoping each day is better than the last…
Take care!
Happy Birthday – what a beautiful photo of a pretty amazing subject!
Happy 2 Month Birthday!
She gets prettier every day!
You are doing such a great job, Matt!
Take care,
Jess
Happy 2 month Birthday Madeline! She’s getting so big already! She’s beautiful Matt!
She is starting to look like such a baby (you know what I mean, filling out, round cheeks, alert, etc.)!! Happy birthday sweet girl! Being 2 months old is big stuff! Hope you gave Daddy a good night’s sleep for your birthday!
Happy Birthday Princess Madeline!
You are such a precious little thing
WOW! Happy Big 2 Months Madeline. She looks so grown sitting like a lady
Happy Birthday Beautiful Girl!
She is so, so, so beautiful! Her blue eyes just melt my heart.
You can’t look at that beautiful angel and not smile! She is such a blessing, and her daddy is an inspiration to more people than she will ever know!!
Aww, happy birthday, Madeline!
sounds like a wonderful day. glad to see our gift arrived, i was worried about the cross country journey. hope you enjoy it! and happy birthday madeline!
Happy two-month birthday to little Madeline! She is just so lovely, and sounds like such a relaxed, easy-going little one. Good for you. The baby carriers are always a bit awkward. I never got into them with my girls, but then again didn’t have one quite as cool as yours. Maybe that will be the trick once you get it down. You certainly wear it well. I hope you’re having a good Sunday–I’m sure it’s wonderful to have family in town. I’ll look forward to reading about your day tomorrow:-).
I vote that if we are going to reclaim and then rename Tuesday, then we should also consider skipping 25. As in yesterday was the 24th and today is the 26th.
Why does the incredible flattering comments/questions around Grandma B being the mama make you want to vomit? Obviously if she truly looked like a grandma, nobody in their right mind would make that moronic comment. I say 3 cheers for young-looking-grandmas!!
I know as sweet as yesterday was for you, that I am reading today? That today, that I will read tomorrow will suck. I just wanted you to know that on this skipped day that my thoughts and energy are with you and yours.
Hugs!
just breath today, that is all you have to do.
you don’t have to be or do anything for anyone, except for Madeline -
and that is enough.
peace
Happy 2-month Birthday Madeline! Matt, you need an Ergo from abbyslane.com, and no, I don’t own that website or Ergo but you need one nonetheless.
Happy 2 month birthday!!! She is adorable. I am so happy that you have such a wonderful, supporting family.
Is it weird in LA for dads to be wearing baby slings? It’s pretty normal around here.
By the way, your beautiful pictures have convinced me I have to visit LA, one day. The sunset was beautiful!
I am SO not calling you a “total moron”.
but dood. I think your wearing that sling wrong.
I am not sure ’cause I don’t know the brand and maybe there is another strap I can’t see.. but *just in case*.
http://zero-probability.com/hawkfeather/hfblog/matt_sling.jpg
A position that would work well for you if you like-
If you hold her in the kangaroo care pose- her tummy to your tummy her head on your chest and body aligned with yours… you can wrap the sling around so it goes under her bum- her legs sticking out at the bottom and her head at the top. I found my husband wore our babe like this all the time- he used the sling every day until she was almost three.
she is bigger here.. but you can kinda see the pose although she is off to the side a bit- they just get more and more mobile as time goes on.
http://zero-probability.com/hawkfeather/hfblog/sling.jpg
hope those links work.
by the by-
“happy nuclear families”
I personally think that the outward persona of most families are about as deep and “real” as the little box homes set up in your Swedish furniture shop.
“family” is relative- I do think you are right that Madeline has support and love most children do not.
Hell- most children would never know their own father to the extent Madeline will.
Blessings and Curses my friend.
Hi Matt,
Gosh, I am just so proud of you and all that you do. I see many kids and babies, who have both parents, not receive the love, devotion and time that lovely little Maddy gets. Reading your posts eveyday is just such a wonderful treat for me. I have learned so much about myself from reading them and am so happy to learn about you and your family.
I have been looking for a small gift to send your way, but I am having trouble finding an address for you. . . Do you have a place that I can look for it? Unfortunatly, my carrier pigeon is unavailable for such a long flight.
Squeezes to you and Madeline.
Hi, Matt.
My husband was deployed when my first child was born, and I got so many strange remarks about who was the father (the worst were when I was with my dad, or my father-in-law, second worst was with my brother. Talk about wanting to vomit.) People do like to try and put things together without knowing shit, don’t they? Or maybe some strangers simply want to assume that everyone has “typical” family situation.
Obviously, I cannot relate to your sense or loss. I can attest to how incredibly difficult it is to adjust to becoming a new parent on your own, with no partner to help you out. Figuring out this parenting thing, doing all the feedings, managing every minute of every day, the pressure to do it all right and by yourself, not to mention coping with an unbearable loneliness… it’s beyond exhausting. Keep trying, the days (and nights) get easier. You’re in my thoughts and prayers.
Sara
Hey Matt-
I had to giggle (and cringe) at the “Grandma as the momma” comment- Same thing happened to me when I was out to eat with my dad and newborn baby. He got up to go to the bathroom and the waitress asked me if my husband wanted a refill on his drink-
Thinking of you guys always-
Lindsay
Hapy 2 month birthday! My little guy will be 2 months this Wednesday. I think you are wearing the sling wrong. If you put it under your right arm it will be much more comfortable. I have the same sling, I personally think all slings are a pain-in-the-ass designed to make us adults look like idiots trying to get them on!
Good luck with the sling.
M.
ladies, ladies, ladies!
check out the box…
i guess it’s something called a “patent pending second shoulder strap” that “evenly distributes baby’s weight for maximum comfort and security”
it looked weird to me, too.
(it took me forever to get this thing on…then i looked at the box. it helped a ton).
She’s grown so much in two months! I have an almost 10 month old and they grow quickly! I’ve been following your blog and have been amazed at your story and how well you’re doing. The day after my daughter was born, my dad was visiting me in the hospital while my husband went home to bath the dog. The new nurse thought my dad was my husband. I was grossed out. Before we were married, some people thought my husband and I were brother and sister. People just don’t have a clue.
The miracle blanket is a godsend. We couldn’t sleep without ours for a few months. We never got a hang of the sling, we used a snugli. She loved facing out. One other product I love is the quick-zip sheet. You can find it at babyabbey.com – It makes crib sheet changing so easy.
I just came across your blog today. I can’t stop reading it.
I wish you and Madeline peace and much healing. You have a beautiful daughter.
Hi Matt,
I came across your blog when someone posted the link on “the nest”. (Not sure if you have heard of it-tons of message boards where mommy’s & daddy’s can ask anything about parenting they can think of- I usually just lurk) Anyway, I just wanted to say how sorry I am that you lost your wife & Madeline’s mommy. My husband and I had a little girl last March (07) and I never stopped to think what if something had happened to me? Seems like all of those worries fall on the baby being ok. I can’t imagine what my husband would have done caring for our daughter on his own.
You are an amazing father and Madeline is a very blessed little girl. She is beautiful and you should be proud! I know your wife is.
Oh and by the way- I had to watch the video online to figure out my stupid Baby Bijorn. I wouldn’t let my husband use it because I didn’t want to have to do it again!!
yeah I was just- going to post about the box foto which I just noticed.
hmm.
it looks uncomfortable- which they shouldn’t be really. not wiht a wee bean like yours.
I found (literally) it took me three children to actually get the sling right.
Once i did my kids lived in them and I have read studies about children who are worn calming easier- and I found it very truthful.
*but* three children were folded in half awkwardly a few times before the sling was abandoned until we discovered wearing them in the kangaroo pose. and than it was a god send.
Once I figured it out- anything could be a sling I would forget my sling and use my hoodie or a towel for hikes.
the *best* sling I ever had- it had a clasp on the shoulder strap so if baby falls asleep while you are wearing her you just un-clasp it and take her off in the sling. it was ingenious.
I can see with an extra strap it would be even more interesting to figure out.. heh
Happy Birthday, Madeline! You sure are getting big, and are such a beautiful girl! Matt, the pictures you share on here are so precious!Although I don’t truly know you, it sounds like you are doing an amazing job so far. I am sure Liz is very proud of you both! Thank you for sharing pictures of Liz on here as well. It’s nice that we get to see what Madeline’s beautiful mom looked like. Again, I am very sorry for your loss, but keep up the amazing job you are doing, and know that you have many people who have you in their thoughts and prayers. Take care…….
Hi Matt. I saw something interesting about the Avent bottles. a 10oz smuckers jar works well with the nipples, and no BPH.
Check out this website. (yes, sorry its a mommy blog, but a good one)
http://www.swistle.blogspot.com/
The May 21 entry is the one that discusses the smuckers jars and how the nipples from the Avent bottles work.
Wow. I am sorry to hear of your loss. Your wife is beautiful and so is your darling little girl. I am a stranger – found your website listed on someone elses. I can’t stop reading and I love the photos.
I think that you could wrote a manual for men on mothering a newborn. I don’t think there is one out there and unfortunately even though we don’t talk about it in our society this happens more often then we want to believe. With the rise in c-sections, our maternal mortality rate is also increasing. I have some contacts if you get to a place that you think – that maybe a book on raising baby the first year from a Dad isn’t a bad idea!
I actually thought that you were one of my clients BIL who just recently lost his wife. I am just so sad for you, madeline and for your wife, that she didn’t get to rejoice in the fruit of her labor. She surely deserved it. Life can be so cruel.
Thank you for your honesty, your openess and your vulnerability as sad as it all is, it is also refreshing to see a man show up in such a nurturing way. You certainly have what your madeline needs.
hi matt~
didn’t think that i would comment on here again, just quietly read and think about y’all. but i wanted to say that yesterday when i was at my local farmer’s market i saw lots of those “normal” families and all i could think about was you with madeline and not liz. so sending good thoughts to you and your awesome family out in socal from central new york. hang in there…
Wow, mail gets to you fast!! That was 1 day in transit… good to know for future mailings of cookies. Glad you like the robot art… they have super cute onesies and daddy t-shirts with similar designs (…that may just show up on your doorstep one of these days, you never know).
Happy Birthday, miss Madeline. And hugs to you, Matt. I feel a baking urge coming on…
I just have to say that I found your site through another site and I check it everyday. You, Liz, my husband and I are all around the same age so I totally relate to a lot of your comments – especially the ones using the word “fuck” because that is my husband’s favorite word. My husband and I do not have children, but I cannot imagine what you are going through with the loss of Liz and then having Madeline. I think you described it perfectly today when you said she will have more love and support than most of those children in those so called nuclear families. She looks great and thank you for sharing Liz, Madeline, and yourself with the world. Take care!
Happy 2mo birthday Madeline! Matt you’ve done an amazing job! I just now learned of your story (we dont have tv) and i spend the past few hours reading, and crying, and smiling, and crying again.
i dont know why this has hit me so hard, but it has. Thank you for sharing this with us. and please know that you are an amazing father, an amazing husband, and that Liz is so very proud of you and loves you and madeline very much – we all do.
Happy Birthday to Madeline! And congrats to Matt for 2 months of uber successful parenting under extreme conditions! You are fantastic!! I am hooked on your blog and it inspires me every single day. Keep doing what you are doing because you are doing it well! xoxoxoxo
Happy Birthday Madeline!! My little guy Darin was born just 4 days after Madeline, it’s crazy how fast they grow in just 2 months huh?!?! You’re doing a phenomenal job!!! I check your blog on a daily basis, you are such an inspiration! Thank you!
Happy Birthday Miss Madeline!
She’s amazingly beautiful and loved!
It doesn’t seem like it’s been two months. But then again I have a 19 month old and it doesn’t seem like it’s been that long either. I can’t believe people think your mother is your wife!
OH, you make me laugh so much! Not at the awkward, depressing parts, of course. At all the appropriately funny ones. . . .
I’m glad you had a good day and I hope you get the miracle of two good ones in a row.
Dear Matt, Kip and I are sitting here thinking of you and Madeline. We check the blog daily and are remembering you and Liz in London. Madeline looks JUST like her. Liz probably lived a fuller life in 30 years than most do in 70. You are doing so beautifully with Madeline. You appear so tender with her. And Auntie Deb rocks! We got a smile when we saw the sling- Kip always wore that thing around and got strange looks.
We love the pictures of Liz! We are digging around to see if we have any from London and we will send them your way. She really was one of a kind.
Jamie and Kip
Happy two months, baby Madeline!!! You are growing so fast and getting more and more beautiful by the day!!!
Matt — you are doing such an amazing job with her. Madeline is, without a doubt, going to have very high standards
ALL of my love to you guys!
Matt & Madeline:
Happy Birthday Madeline on the 24th! She is getting so big and even though the sling made everyone feel less than parental, I found that our Magdalene was far more content being slung on me (or Steve) than getting jostled around in her car seat.
Peaceful thoughts as you wind up the day now on the 25th – I can’t stand memorial day (since losing my dad – I know I keep referring to his loss, but it’s my major grief experience, and I keep thinking something will resonate with you), I personally don’t spend just one day a year honoring/remembering/grieving for loved ones lost. It happens all the time, when I hear that music, remember their voices, see a picture and/or wish I could talk to them (and have them talk back).
Finally, yes, we’re one of those nuclear families of three (who have on occasion been told that we look like brother and sister – yuck!), but we certainly don’t have the stranger friend/family network that you and Madeline have at just a keystroke/phone call/plane trip away. I still wish we didn’t know of your story and that you and Liz and Madeline were just finishing up a fantastic weekend, but I do hope in the long run that both of you know that there are hundreds, well probably more like thousands (millions?), of people to call on in the world. We are all wishing/sending you thoughts of hope and healing to make the days bearable – every once in awhile enjoyable, and to make gigantic spaces in your hearts to carry Liz in a “garden of awesome” for all time.
I can’t remember how I came across your website, but I have visited it almost every day for about a week now and just could not resist to post something. I can’t understand what you are going through, but you are truly an inspiration and I wish you and your precious daughter the very best. My thoughts and prayers are with you! From what I can see you are doing an amazing job. I know your wife would be so proud and honored to have you as a husband and father to Madeline.
Katie in GA.
Okay, seriously, the kid is cuter by the picture – what is it about babies that turns otherwise sane women into baby-talking freaks? (Especially the photo of you two lying face to face – it is so obvious that Maddy adores you as much as you adore her. What a wonderful shot!)
That robot print rocks – you and Maddy are building such a cool art collection together. (Your infant probably has a better art collection than most adults I know. What does that say about the adults I know?)
I hope you’re enjoying your time with your family (to the extent that is possible) and that tonight brings you more much-needed rest. You’ve made it through another day, Matt. I am thinking of you, Madeline and everyone else who misses Liz terribly. I hope Monday is kind to you all.
j.
Aren’t slings great AND a huge pain in the butt? I swear it took me forever to figure out how to use them correctly. (If you really want confusion, try the Moby or the Ergo – great products both, but require more manual dexterity/instruction following ability than I seem to have…) Once you figure them out, though, they do change your life…
That photo of the candle alone makes that restaurant look so romanitc. I can see why Liz loved it. What a lucky woman Liz was to have a man like you as her husband. What a lucky girl Madeline is to have you for her daddy.
Looks like you have a great man-sling! I swear by the Moby and I promise it is not nearly as complicated as it looks! http://www.mobywrap.com
Happy birthday Madeline, with love from Caleb.
– P.S. Tim and I are up for negotiating an arranged marriage. haha
I had a sling like that too when my kiddos were wee ones. It never looked/felt right so it promptly stayed in a drawer for years till I gave it away. What I did end up getting and loved was the Bjorn carrier. So much easier in my opinion and while Maddy is little she can snuggle close to you and then when she’s a month or two older, you can turn her to face out and see the world. The carrier is a bit $$$ but totally worth it I think.
Great pics (as usual) but my favorite this time is the one where it looks like she’s about to eat your nose. Cute!
Rylie hated the slings I tried…and I tried 2 differnet kinds! It looks like Madeline enjoyed hers! I loved the Moby Wrap. By far, my favorite when they are little. Rylie loved the tummy to tummy hold and always fell asleep in it. That thing was a charmer! We are big fans of the Mei Tai and the Ergo too. I love it when I see men wearing their babies! Happy 2 Months, Madeline! You are doing an awesome job, Matt!
Matt,
I lost my soulmate 14 years ago and even though I still cry most days, life does get a little easier to endure. Our lives will never be carefree like they used to, but you’ll learn to live in a different way. I thank God you have Madeline to get you through it. God Bless You and help you to not just get through each day but to enjoy it, too.
Gone Away Lyrics
by Offspring
Maybe in another life
I could find you there
Pulled away before your time
I can’t deal it’s so unfair
And it feels
And it feels like
Heaven’s so far away
And it feels
Yeah it feels like
The world has grown cold
Now that you’ve gone away
Leaving flowers on your grave
Show that I still care
But black roses and Hail Mary’s
Can’t bring back what’s taken from me
I reach to the sky
And call out your name
And if I could trade
I would
And it feels
And it feels like
Heaven’s so far away
And it stings
Yeah it stings now
The world is so cold
Now that you’ve gone away
Gone away, gone away, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Oooooo, yeah oooooo, oooooo, Ohh yeah.
I’ll Save Your Soul
Whoa. Yeaaaaaeeeaaeah. Mm.
I reach to the sky
And call out your name
Oh please let me trade
I would
And it feels
And it feels like
Heaven’s so far away
And it feels
Yeah it feels like
The world has grown cold
Now that you’ve gone away
Gone away, gone away, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Oooooo, yeah oooooo, oooooo, Ohh yeah.
Oooooo, yeah oooooo, oooooo, Ohh yeah.
Happy 2 month birthday Madeline! You are absolutely beautiful, and it’s obvious that your daddy loves you very, very much. I really admire the relationship that the two of you have.. it’s really something special.
Hugs,
lurkeradmirerKatie
Okay, I am sure you don’t care about this, but you are totally ranking for “auntie deb” and less surprisingly, ranking first for “awesome auntie deb”! Go Auntie Deb!
Hi matt! My daughter is three months old and she never liked the slings. We got a bjorn and she loves that. They are great because they can face in or out (when they have enough head control). I also think that Madeline if lucky to have such an awesome daddy and so many other people who love and care about her. She will never want to for love. I hope tomorrow is an awesome day.
My Ben is two months old today, so I’m right there with you and Madeline!
I know what you mean about seeing all the “fucking perfect, happy, nuclear families.” I get so sad when I see them, too, despite trying to “stay positive.”
thanks for allowing us to post your story on Story of My Life too – your story was the most read of all time. I don’t know if that’s good or bad, but it’s certainly beautiful.
I lost my S.O. too when I was younger. The only “advice” (HA!) I would give is that sometimes time can drag on like you can’t stand another single minute living inside your body. But then time goes on, it has to. and then sometimes it goes by so fast you’re like “wait a minute…” And recording these for Madeline later so that she will know and understand who her mom is, is really, really precious.
i really enjoyed reading about your day. especially found funny your ‘tragedies’ with the sling. ‘nuclear’ families royally suck some times when you are missing that one person or persons.
i really identify with your closing remark on the likelyhood of tomorrow ’sucking’. everyday i find it harder and harder to get out of bed. but we still do.
I was led to your blog by a poster on thenest.com and I am so glad I was. Your family’s story touched me in a way I have a hard time describing. Your writing is beautiful – so honest, such raw emotion. You are an amazing father to little Madeline. May each day bring you a little more healing and peace. Hug your beautiful baby for us!
Hello Matt!
I wanted to let you know that I think you are doing an amazing job at being a father especially through this adversity. Your little sweetheart will look up to you and have an amazing love and appreciation of you. I read this site everyday, and was greatly saddened to hear of what happened to Liz. She sounds like she was an amazing woman. Your blog make me try to live my life in a better way and to try to find the full potential in every day for my children. Thank you for that.
I am a babywearing instructor, and I wanted to bring your attention to some concerns surrounding slings like the one you are wearing in this post. They are refered to as bag slings, and some have been recalled due to issues with design. The way they are built make it very diffucult for the baby to breathe, as the curve of the sling causes the babes chin to touch thier chest. This closes off thier airway much like a straw being bent. This is a great link outlining to concerns about these kinds of slings. http://babyslingsafety.blogspot.com/
As an instructor I don’t recomend the use of these types of slings. I did notice that you have recieved a MeiTai (the babyhawk) this is a MUCH better option and will also support your daughter in a better position for her growing hips. It is also two shouldered and higher on your body wich is loads better for your back. I often carry my 3yr old on my back in a Mei Tai and love it. I hope that info helps you out, as the world of babywearing can be largely confusing.
Should you wish further info about babywearing or troubleshooting please e-mail me!
I remember that up until my daughter was…probably 4 months old…trying to get her in a sling was like stuffing a cat in a sack.
grandma is really cute! i know within the context of this post that it just sounds 7 shades of F’d up, but I just wanted to give props to grandma!!
your robot collection is growing!
also, why don’t people have boundaries? i think before I speak.