happy 10-week birthday.
monday was the day
that my perfect baby
transformed into
little miss fuss.
she cried almost the
entire day.
the only thing that
stopped the crying was
to hold her.
she’s got so
much of her mom
in her.
liz’s
parents used to tell
this story about
liz
as a kid,
sitting on a swing
(more than capable of propelling herself, i think)
saying, “somebody push me!”
she wanted attention
and loved having
people around.
madeline is obviously no
different.
her cries said,
“somebody hold me!”
so i did.
almost all day.
it’s her birthday, so i couldn’t
deny that request.
(i am going to spoil this child).
a friend stopped by for
a visit,
and accompanied us
on a shopping trip.
we bought lots of frames
for the house
so we can continue the
decorating job that was
so important to
liz.
madeline was silent
for about 5 mins
then started screaming louder
than ever before.
(does cry-volume increase exponentially?)
people are starting to stare.
time to get her
out of there.
she calmed down as
soon as we left.
perfect.
i have to run to
another place.
false hope
springs from the stupidity
of a new father.
as soon as i get to
the next place
she answers my
previously-posed question.
the people in the store
must have thought
i gouged her eyes out.
on top of it,
i ran into another friend,
a relatively new mom herself,
who i figured
must’ve thought
i dropped her based
on that scream volume.
of course she didn’t think that.
she knew that cry,
so she helped me
as i finished shopping.
(nice to find help in the most unexpected places).
went home after
the shopping trip and
started opening packages.
a lot of packages.
grandpa tom g. picked out
madeline’s 10/52 week birthday gift:
grandma broccoli ordered
madeline a princess fork and spoon.
stranger friend maureen c. from the pa sent
madeline a little hand-made something
for her room and an
amoeba gift certificate for me.
(so, so awesome).
strangers friends erin & rowan s. from the mpls
sent each of us a book
and madeline a onesie from the best
record store in the mpls.
(it even smells like the electric fetus! ahhh…memories.)
friend (sort of family member) barb c. and family from the in
sent madeline a really cool
poncho from their recent trip
to peru.
bekki l. from the tx
sent a stuffed animal (named fargo)
coffee, angel figurines
and an outfit for madeline
(so awesome)
alanna and chandler b. of the nyc (formerly of the mn)
(chandler was a former classmate of liz)
sent a huge package with
some very cool notes,
easily the coolest placemats of all-time,
some rock n roll baby shoes,
socks that
liz
would have loved,
the sweetest bib in the world,
a robot onesie,
a book that will help get
us out to the house and exploring
the los angeles.
and finally,
maddy’s first piano.
(i think the piano is going to be her favorite gift. i will post a video when she finally starts banging on that thing).
spent the rest of night
trying to keep madeline
happy
while adding
photos to the frames.
now i have to channel
liz’s
picture-hanging ability.
(i am incapable of performing some of the simplest tasks).
i still have a lot
of frames to fill.
a full day of little miss fuss
made this a tough day,
my first real moments
of baby frustration.
she finally fell
asleep at 1:30am.
was carrying a whole
bunch of stuff,
2:45am, i hear my phone
dialing a random number
due to me hitting some
random button.
(shit. i hope i’m not waking someone up).
look down at the phone.
it’s dialing
liz.
seriously.
of all the numbers
in my phone,
why the fuck did it dial
her
number.
that’s was enough
to keep me up
’til 4:30am.
144 Comments
Happy 10 week bday to Maddy!!
Happy 10 week birthday little one!!!
Happy 10 week maddy!
Only 42 to go until the BIG one! Happy birthday Madeline.
Well happy birthday wee woman!
Happy Birthday Maddy.I’ll call you later today Matt. Love you both. Dad
Happy 10 Week Birthday!
Dear Madeline… Happy 10 Week Birthday!
You’re dad is doing such an amazing job!
Happy 10 week birthday Madeline
Happy 10th Week Birthday, Madeline!
Happy Birthday Maddy! You’re walking now right?
Happy 10 week birthday Maddy!!
many happy days miss “M’.
Happy Birthday beautiful girl! And have a good day, daddy
Happy 10 week birthday Cutie Patootie!
Happy 10 week birthday Maddy!!
Happy 10 Week Birthday, Madeline!!!!
Happy 10 week Birthday Madeline!!
Happy day little one!!
What a beautiful Baby girl. you are doing a great job!
Happy 10th week Miss M – you look fabulous!!!
Matt – you are an Amazin Awesome Daddy
Happy Birthday, Beautiful Girl.
10 weeks is such a fun milestone. Her little personality is really going to start showing! Happy Birthday sweetheart!
Wow, Maddy… you’re already a 1/5 year old! Hope you had a very happy 10 week birthday.
Give your dad lots of extra hugs and love today and hopefully it’ll be a better Tuesday.
**hugs** to you both!
Happy 10 Week B-Day supergirl!!! Keep up the great work, Daddy, family and friends!
Happy Birthday Maddy! I can’t wait to hear about your day… I hope it was a good one
Happy Birthday Maddy! Have a great day.
Aw she is on double digit weeks now, how adorable.
Happy birthday Maddy!!!!!
Caleb sends his love!
A Very Happy BIRTHDAY to u Miss Maddy!
Happy 10 weeks little angel. I’m new to your story, you have an amazing Daddy and Mommy.
Happy 10 weeks baby girl!
Happy Birthday Sweet Maddy! You look so beautiful. Daddy is doing a great job taking care of you… =)
Happy double digit weeks! Lol. I hope yall have a great day!!
Happy 10 week birthday Maddy, you are looking fabulous:)
Happy Birthday Maddy. I hope you have a wonderful day Matt.
Happy 10 weeks, sweet sweet Maddy. I hope today and tomorrow are easier on your daddy than weeks past. Thinking of you always.
Happy birthday Maddy!! Your going to bring your daddy such much joy
Happy 10 week birthday Maddy!
Hope you have a great one M-Matt keep up the good work, you are the perfect dad
Happy 10 week Birthday Maddy. You are a beautiful little princess. You’re daddy is very blessed to have you and you are blessed to have a wonderful, caring daddy and a mommy who loves you very much. I know she is smiling down on you BOTH.
Polyester Bride, OMgosh! My absa-lute favorite.
Hey Missy Moo, do you wanna find alligator boots that just went on sale….
Happy 10th week, little Madeline! Tell your daddy to keep up the great work!
Best,
Amy VW and family in MD
Happy birthday, little one! I hope you celebrated by sleeping through the night!
Happy 10th week birthday Madeline!
Hope your 10-week birthday was a happy one, Maddie, filled with good naps, warm formula, interesting sights, and good music…and for Dad, lots of pork derivatives and photo ops.
Hi Matt,
Madeline is beautiful little girl. But I have noticed what looks like few tiny scratches on her face. And that could possible be from her nails. Newborn nails grow very fast I’m sure you noticed.
Do you have mittens for her sweet hands? If not, I could try and get them for you and mail it to you. Let me know.
Here’s a link of what I’m talking about: http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2390396
Hi-
Happy 10 week Birthday,Maddy!!! <3
Matt- Hope you both are having an awesome day!
XOXO as always
Happy 10 week Birthday you absolutely precious girl.
Hope you and Daddy have a fun day today.
Happy 10 week birthday, Madeline!
Great job, Matt! Hope you got some good rest this morning!
There have been a few of your posts that make me teary. This was one of them. I’m trying to not cry, like really cry, here at my desk. It’s the last bit of this post that did it. Your daughter is beautiful, your doing a great job. Just wanted to tell you.
Poor Maddy (and poor you!). We all go through stages when we need a few more kisses and hugs. Maybe Maddy just needed a little more from you that day. Enjoy every minute (even the Miss Fudd moments), because she’ll grow up so fast that you’ll look back on these times and miss them.
Happy 10-week birthday, Maddy! You’re getting cuter every day!
Little Miss M. Happy Birthday!
Matt-Thats crazy about the phone thing…I had that happen when my friend died…his number wasnt on speed dial, it wasnt a frequently called number, etc. But at the time I was using a Treo which had the exposed keypad, so somehow in the depths of my purse, it picked that number to dial. I don’t know what to think of things like that…strnage coincidence or something else???
Im no (S)crapbooking expert, for sure…(“crapbooking”-thats what my BIL calls it). Whn I finished it, I was like, “This is either really cute or super cheesy…I’m just not sure”. Either way, if it doesnt make Miss M’s walls, maybe it would be some nice garage artwork :-0
Sorry that Madeline had such a rough day…maybe it was the picture I sent?
Lots of frames, but Im sure you will have no problem filling them with your awesome pics.
Hang in there, maybe she was just having a bad day. There are some days (today included) that I wish I could just sit and scream all day…
Well, I think Maddy’s Monday Meltdown is further proof of her brilliance: some of the smartest people I know scream in protest when Monday rolls around. Also: the “Logelin” onesie is effing sweet.
You do an incredible job of taking care of that sweet little girl; that you shoulder this responsibility without complaint is another testament to how much you love Liz and Maddy. Yeah, I’m sure you have your “why me/how the fuck am I going to do this” moments (how could you not?)…but you march forward anyway and just do what you need to do to get through the day. Liz would be so proud of the man she married – she would say, “see…THIS is why I chose him!”
You take care of Maddy just as well as her mamma would have – how else to explain that only daddy’s arms were enough to help her through a bad day? You are definitely the sun in Miss Madeline’s universe.
I’m sorry the day ended with yet another kick to the gut. You handle those kicks with more grace and patience than I handle a traffic jam on the freeway. Thanks for teaching me a thing (or a hundred) about how to make the most of my time on this spinning rock we share.
Many hugs to you and the little blonde genius.
I can only think that there are ways those we love can send messages that they are there with you and want you to know and thus the number dialed to Liz. Wish it wouldn’t have to be such a painful thing for you-I know it is gut wrenching awful…..But I know she is with you. Definetely a raw deal but hopefully someday there will be a sense of peace. I know she wants you to be happy and you will get there.
Happy 10 Weeks!! Love that little pink piano. It’s adorable. I am sure she will play you many beautiful songs.
Happy 10 week birthday little Madeline!! =0)
it dialed liz cause you had a frustrating day……
sorry to hear about your day yesterday. i have always had a love/hate relationship with days like that. it can be so frustrating to not be able to comfort them, but at the same time so comforting to know that you and your love are so important to them.
i have been thinking about you all day and hoping that your tuesday is going well. (although, after your late night phone call, i’m sure it did not have a great start)
robin
ok, had to make an additional comment….caption for the shopping trip pic is hilarious!
Happy 10 week Birthday, Ms. Madeline! Your daddy has every right to brag about you and show you off, you are absolutely beautiful! Matt, I wasn’t going to write more then one comment, but I can’t help myself, I am more amazed each time I read your blog and see all the wonderful pictures.
( Can’t believe I phrased that so smoothly, lol….I am sure liz is so proud of you for how you have come through this, and how you have been raising your beautiful child. You certainly have displayed more patience with Madeline in this short time then I did in the entire time I was raising my son! Thanks for continuing to let all of us in on such a private time in your lives. You are doing a GREAT job!
I am sure you will have more ‘ what the fuck” moments on your journey,but Madeline will make them all worth it
matt, you weren’t calling liz, she was calling you. i bet she wanted to let you know she was there, with you, understanding how you felt dealing with Maddy crying.
she was saying, hey i’m here, you’re a great dad.
hugs from NJ
erica and Landon
Don’t feel bad about “spoiling” your baby by holding her too much. I held my daughter A LOT and she’s very independent now, but she loooves her snuggles. I would often struggle with if I was doing the right thing or not. Finally, I took on the motto that I was doing the best that I could and I believed it.
Hope today was better…
Wow Matt, dialing Liz’s number is an amazing thing – perhaps she was touching base knowing that you had such a challenging day.
A little tip/suggestion/thought/advise (whatever) . . . I did not do this with my first born, but worked wonders with my second . . . . generally babies (once they get some sort of sleep pattern down) take two defined naps a day. One usually smaller one in the morning then a longer one in the afternoon. Knowing this, you can start to “force” sleep time on her (that sounds ugly, but it isn’t). Here is what I mean. When my Madeline was born I had a 2 year old and for my sanity it was very important to me to have them take afternoon naps at the same time. Therefore, I would try to keep Maddie up as much as possible after breakfast so that I would then lay her down for a morning nap that I knew she needed, then as much as possible keep her up until the afternoon nap when I would actually lay her down to sleep. Then keep her up again until bedtime. At Maddy’s age you can start this process. She is too little to actually catch on to the two nap thing, but if you start giving her these “set” times to sleep, that is what her body will get used to . . . . Hopefully this made sense??
Have a calm and mellow Tuesday, filled with the happy memories. Squeezes to you both.
Matt –
Zoe had so many of those days I don’t care to recall them all! So, I would love to say that you had your day and now she won’t do that again – but that just wouldn’t be very nice to lie to you like that!
Zoe wanted to be held all of the time – she is now going to be 6 months on Saturday and is finally to the point where she likes to be on the floor playing, in her saucer or in her jumperoo and not constantly in someones arms. You are not spoiling her – she needs to know that you are there for her – any good pediatrician would confirm that! Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone! And you and Maddy will get through it. Take my word for it – there will come a time when she won’t want to be held and you will want to be holding her! They get real squirmy, real quick!
Take care, hope you had a decent Tuesday.
Jen and Zoe in the MN
What the others said, you’re not spoiling her by holding her. It’s funny, the first few weeks babies just sleep a lot and they cry relatively quietly, and then, as a friend puts it, they turn the volume WAY UP! The sling definitely helps, though I remember having to stay in motion a lot too. (It let me go for walks and make phone calls at the same time) When she can do more stuff things will change again.
Happy ten week birthday Madeline! You are stunning as usual!
Happy Birthday Madeline! We women don’t like to get older, so I’m sure she was upset that she’s reached double digits already! Hope today was a better day. Sorry about the punch in the gut, but I bet Liz was just letting you know she was there with you today.
She could be teething. My son and daughter both cut teeth (got their first tooth) at exactly 3 months.
These are a blessing.
http://www.hylands.com/products/teething.php
Happy ten weeks, Madeline! You’re growing bigger and more beautiful by the day.
And Matt, with your phone dialing Liz … I think she was just letting you know that she was with you. You had an emotionally stressful day, and she wanted you to know you weren’t alone.
Miss Madeline got some totally kick-ass gifts! She will LOVE the piano!
xoxoxo
Happy ten weeks Madeline. Yes, I agree with all the others. The accidental dial to Liz’s phone was no accident. She was reaching out to say hi and she is with you guys.
Happy 10 weeks, Madeline!
Matt, I’ve been reading your blog since the article was written in the Mpls paper and I think you are doing a terrific job. Every baby has a day like Madeline did yesterday and there is nothing wrong with holding her when she is like that. I hope she slept well for you last night since you were up so late. Keep up the good work! Madeline is lucky to have you.
Happy birthday, Madeline! With love from Heather and Alex
Yeah I think the phone call to liz wasn’t an accident. I suppose you talk to her all the time anyway. Think good memories today.
“(does cry-volume increase exponentially?)” relative to the # of people in the vicinity. Some days we all need more snuggles. It was just her day, or maybe it was your day to need more holding and she knew it.
Happy 10th Week Madeline!
A friend sent me a link to your blog. I stayed up all night reading it and crying. My dad passed away a year ago and reading your thoughts has helped me remember him. I love that you are honoring Liz through all you are doing.
Aimee
http://memoriesofmydaddy.blogspot.com/
I watched PS I Love You this weekend. Her husband dies of a brain tumor. She calls his phone to hear his voice. It reminded me of you and Maddy.
Maddy may have had gas. Mylicon drops do wonders for that. My daughter would cry from 4pm till midnight for 6 months. I had a 15 month as well. That was fun. I wanted to pull my hair out. You would think after 3 children I would have known about food allergies and colic by the time she rolled around. Nope. I cried with her every night. Then it clicked “SOB she has colic.” Yeah, I’m a slow learner! I took her off the milk based formula and the gas cleared up in 2 days!
I just realized I commented already today! BTW you can’t spoil children. Not possible. Not with holding them. They need that. Especially when they are little Maddy. She was born early and she’s tiny. They need extra extra tlc to help them strive. You’re doing great. That’s what the baby sling is for. My daughter spent a lot of time in one. Now she is so independent I have to beg for a kiss or a hug! Enjoy it while it lasts.
Hey Matt,
I am a nurse and have recently rec’d an article about soothing babies. It is awesome and I have seen it work in amazing ways. I would love to share it with you. I know that you are probably getting a ton of advice. So I will not give you any now. Let me know if you would like to have this article.
Julie
Matt, I didn’t think she was crying all that loudly in the store. It was just exactly what you’d expect from a 10 week old who was 6 weeks premature! I thought you did a magnificent job of not panicking, which I have done before when I can’t get my daughter to calm down, and doing what needed to be done. I loved the way you held her really close to your chest and held the binky in with your face. That obviously felt really good to her. You have a wonderful facility with her, and your body language with her is very fluid and, if I may say so, very maternal.
She may have had a little upset tummy or gas or just wanted to be held, which is A-Okay. She’s going to start sleeping less, and being awake more, and at that age, she doesn’t have very many avenues for self expression, and crying is a big one. It can be nerve-racking though. Especially in the car while driving. I’ve pulled over many times to try to calm down a screaming infant.
I was so happy that I happened to be at that store to bump into you and Madeline. What a treat for me to be able to hold her while you tried on your pants.
And, um… Paris Hilton Cologne for Men? And I thought I knew you!
Happy Bday Madeline……tell dad that sometimes you just have to cry and you can’t explain it.
It’ll help when you’re 13 and doing the same thing…;)
Happy 10 weeks Madeline! Is it even possible she is getting cuter by the day????
Happy 10 Week Birthday Sweet Madeline!
I’ve been reading your blog for several weeks now, but this is my first time commenting. I just wanted to let you know that you and your sweet little baby girl are always in my thoughts.
When I told my 8 month old daughter, Caroline, that Madeline gets gifts for every birthday week, she explained to me that I have many many many weeks to make up for. And by *explained*, I mean she said “baa, baa, ma, da, ga”
Hope your day tomorrow is less fussy!
Hi Matt! I have a baby girl due myself on Friday! I’ve just been reading The Happiest Baby on the Block. You’ve received so many books to aid in your journey…have you gotten this one? I just read that colic doesn’t start in pre-mie babies until 2 weeks after their estimated due date. Without scrolling back, isn’t Madeline somewhere around this age? I hope for your sake that it’s not colic, but the book has some great coping technique, so maybe it would help if Madeline isn’t back to her calm, cheerful self tomorrow! You’re doing a fabulous job!
Michelle
ahhhh…I too miss the Electric Fetus, nothing quite a cool here in the OC.
And yes, the crying gets louder!
I found your blog through another “nestie” and although it’s the coolest blog I’ve read in a LONG time, the subject in which you have to write about is most un-cool. So hard and sad to read, but you tell the story well.
Love,
Another Minnesotan, born and bred, don’t cha know, raising her own wee child as well (Ava Claire, 12 weeks)
happy birthday to the beautiful girl, and strength to her dad to handle all the fussy moments.
Matt- you have so much more guts than me. Every time my little girl starts screaming I about turn bright red and run out of the building (like you convinced someone thinks Im torturing her) !! All of us parents understand that cry!!! as for anyone that could be bothered by a baby crying…they just don’t matter any how
) Happy 10 week birthday Maddy!!!
Hi Matt and Madeline!
Happy 10 week Birthday Madeline! You are so beautiful, sweet baby girl!!
Matt,
My daughter did not want to be put down at that age either. I held her because I do believe is that there is a reason for wanting the attention, and giving it to them assures them that you will be there for them. You can never spoil a baby that young! Don’t feel guilty about letting her cry for a couple minutes either, daddy does need to go to the bathroom and get something to eat every once in a while.
If you think it’s gas, try the Mylicon Drops (we’ve used that and Gripe Water before) and see if that eases any discomfort. You can also try laying her down and gently rolling both her knees toward her chest and around together clockwise. My daughter loved that. Sometimes I’d get a toot or a dirty diaper out of it but she’d always calm down and enjoy the movement.
Get some rest while she’s sleeping Matt! Sometimes these needy stages can go on for a while!
My very first thought when you said that your phone randomly dialed Liz, was that it was a sign from Liz and that she is there with you. Things are going to be ok. Since she can’t be here in this world then you are one lucky guy to have an angel like Liz looking out for the two of you.
Hugs and Happy B’day Maddy!!
Happy 10 weeks to Madeline! Kolby (11 weeks old) has severe reflux and his 2nd week of life he didn’t do anything but scream until we got him some Prevacid which took awhile to work. It made me feel horrible but we knew we weren’t doing anything wrong. Sometimes babies just cry when they are overwhelmed, gassy, tired, etc. It’s hard to always know what to do but you are doing a great job. If only these little one’s came with an on/off switch..lol.
About the phone dialing Liz…I can’t even imagine how heartbreaking that was. Well, hope tomorrow is better with Madeline.
i’m glad that the books and shirt made it to you alright. and, yeah, the fetus has a such a distinct and wonderful smell – i was hoping that the shirt retained that scent.
happy birthday, madeline.
Matt~
I just went through & read your blog and I couldn’t stop the tears..both of sadness for the loss of Liz or happiness for Maddy getting to have a daddy like you. You are both beautiful people, as is Liz. Thank you for sharing your life, loss, and gorgeous baby with us.
Hey Matt!
I remember the ten week point being a really tough one for us… but then again, our little girl had colic for about three straight months! Few things are more frustrating than a crying baby who doesn’t stop unless she’s held all day- I feel you. We really didn’t go anywhere during that phase either, because the screaming was so out of control… Those were embarrassing times… very embarrassing times…
Anyway, just wanted to say hello to you, and happy birthday to little Madeline! I love “watching” her grow so much. She really is something else – as are you
Matt,
My son had great difficulty calming down (ie: stopping crying). I tried many, many different things so I thought I would pass on some ideas that worked for me. You may have already tried these.
Anyway, stroller rides saved my sanity. My son would quiet down, relax, and stop crying while we were walking. Getting out of the house and getting some fresh air also seemed to help. I kept the stroller “bonnet” over him so the sun was not in his face, of course. I also would take him for short car rides by driving out into the country. (We live in the NW suburbs in the MN so we had quick access to some quiet country roads). He seemed to also feel calmed by the movement of the car. However, with gas prices these days, you might not be so inclined to try that suggestion! My kids seemed to respond to classical music (Bach at Bedtime or Debussy for Daydreaming CD’s). Last suggestion which sounds crazy but it did work….white noise. Our son would cry so much that we would turn on the vacuum in another room (not near him directly) but enough that he could hear the “humming” motor. He would stop crying. I understand there are white noise downloads and CD’s. We also held him while walking around our small house over and over again.
You have probably heard these before but I thought I would pass them on in case they might help.
BTW, you are a great Daddy! Madeline is a lucky girl to have you as her father.
Happy 10 week birthday Madeline. It’s funny, all my friends make fun of me for counting the days, weeks, months of my son’s life but I am glad to see I am not the only one.
Gripe water for colic, seriously works wonders for colicky babies. And babies with hiccups. My son got hiccups a few times a day up until a couple of weeks ago and although they say that they don’t bother him, babies don’t sleep with hiccups. Good luck! Keep in mind that the colic/fussy stuff gets SOOOO much better after 8-9 weeks. That may seem so far away right now, but trust me it will be here before you know it!
Hi Matt and Maddy. Happy 10 weeks to both of you. Matt you have done a tremendous and admirable job falling down but getting right back up there for all the right reasons. Maddy and yourself. I really feel this is one amazing story of an individuals life. Sadly “life” throws a lot of curveballs, curveballs we have absolutely no control over.
Cherish your time with, and memories of Liz. Moreso, cherish and look forward to the future and what is to become. Take comfort in the realism that EVERYDAY you hold a part of Liz in your arms. May God bless you both.
Matt –
Been away from the computer for awhile – needed to catch up on some posts. I work my backwards with some comments: Happy 10/52 Birthday Madeline. The crying definitely increases in volume as their lungs grow – I’ve learned, you always think it’s louder than it actually is while in public – so keep up your not panicking. As for my car trick, once she gets a little bigger and changes pacifiers (assuming you don’t have a pacifier connector for the ones she loves now), you can get a pacifier attacher and attach the pacifier to her or her harness belt and then when she spits it out, you can usually reach back, grab the string and pop it back in (Steve says – assuming the pacifier will help – ha!) Sometimes it won’t and sometimes you just have to hold them. And sometimes when you hold them, they still cry. Just be as comforting as you can and know that sometimes they just need to cry.
I agree with Athena on the best Daddy swing trick – hold both her hands, have her walk up your front, and flip over – I used to do it so many times I’d get dizzy.
So many props to all of your close friends, it gives me such hope in humanity to see everyone trying to be helpful. Good luck Johnny Utah on the marathon – I’ve done one and the only way I made it through the last three miles was to repeat to myself, “I never have to run again ever, repeat, repeat, repeat.” Oh, and a pre-race day breakfast of Cuban food from Victor’s (here in the S. Mpls) doesn’t fuel the system as well as one might think. And I’m so glad to get this hints about the babyhawk and the amber necklace – never would have known about them if not for the little community here.
Finally, there’s a reason I could never be on price is right – a half ounce over on the weight guessing, classic – I’d never win the showcase showdown.
Wishing you peace and healing as your Tuesday winds up – Kathleen (Steve & Magdalene)
Happy 10 Weeks Madeline! My daughter has those same Mary Jane shoe socks – they’re perfect for dressing up on special occasions and you don’t have to worry about shoes flying off.
Maddy is looking like such a big girl! Kepp up the good work.
Happy 10 Week birthday.
And Matt, the crying will get louder, and the looks you will get in the mall … I miss the newborn cry! lol.
My daughter “woke up” at 10 weeks also. She ALWAYS wanted to be held.
A couple of things to help you out.
1. You might think it is funky (I did) but it works. All my babies love it! It is a baby carrier called the Moby Wrap. Just google it and you can order it online or find a local store. I think it will also help with bonding, it will give her that closeness she is longing for and you will be hands-free to get things done. (It really helped me with cleaning and shopping. Plus naps lasted way longer.)
2. The book “Happies Baby On The Block” By Dr.Karp…the 5 S’s work EVERY time – honestly!
oops the book is “Happiest Baby On the Block”
Greetings for the time being from Mayo Clinic in Rochester. Thanks for a needed break from my life by reading about you and Maddy. You remind me of the humor, the joy of 10 week old birthdays and the promise of tomorrow with pounding on a piano.
hugs, P.
I have a new favorite picture of Maddy everyday… that first one in today’s post is ADORABLE! Is she “talking” to you yet? There’s no better sound than that of your baby’s babbling…love it!
I’m sorry Miss M had a rough day. I used to secretly kinda love when my boys had days like that… it gave me an excuse to do nothing but sit and cuddle with them all day. The time goes by too fast and now I’m lucky if my 2 year old will sit still with me for even a minute!
And the phone dialing Liz thing…that’s just too crazy. I guess I have to think that in some way it was her sending you a message that she’s still there for you… talk to her, I’m sure she’s listening.
Thought about you guys lots today… I hope today falls into the category of “Tuesdays that suck less”.
Happy 10 weeks little girl! Blake went through a growth spurt around that age, and needed lots of love, food, and cuddling. Maybe that is what Miss M is going through?
Happy 10 week birthday Madeline!!
Matt, you are NOT spoiling her, you’re being a good daddy to her.
My mom always tells me how when I was a baby (eon’s ago, ok … only 27 years ago) I used to scream the house down and they found that car rides calmed me down so when my dad was on a late shift my mom would pick him up and take me (rather than have my Nana watch me for the 10 minutes she was gone) and it’d calm me down. Funny thing … I hate cars now, I get car sick easily too!!
I’m sure your phone calling Liz was a sign that Liz is with you and wanting you to know how amazing you are as a person and as a father to Madeline and how amazing of a husband you were to Liz. Sometimes the small things that we can not explain are the most important things to remember. You’re going to have many “Why the fuck did this happen to me” and “this is bullshit, it’s not fair to Madeline OR me”, etc moments BUT eventually they’ll lessen and you’ll keep moving forward for the sake of Liz and Madeline and YOURSELF. You are a WONDERFUL man, you grow stronger each day (without knowing it) and Madeline appreciates it more than you know (and more than she knows, BUT one day she’ll look back and realize how fucken amazing you are!!).
Much Luv from,
Leighann B
Wow. I have just spent the last hour reading your site. Intense…real, awesome. So thankful for it. I lost a baby on March 24, 2008. I almost died on that same day. For some reason this hits SO very close to home for me. So sorry for your loss. It helps to repeat fuck over and over and over and occasionally throw things against the wall. I can’t imagine the pain you are experiencing…but you are doing marvelous things. I don’t think my hubbs would EVER don the baby sling…for that you are commended. M has one SAWEET papa. Liz is watching over you for certain.
Love,
Kim in the UT
Matt,
I found this blog via someone else who had linked to yours. I have spent the past 3 hours reading this blog and sobbing for a man, a sweet baby girl, and a beautiful young mom–all of whom I’ve never met. Words can not express how sorry I am for Madeline’s and your loss.
Peace to you and your beautiful daughter. And for what it’s worth from a total stranger: you’re one hell of a dad.
Sorry to hear your little girl gave you a hard time yesterday.
Hee- it looks like she’s singing The Star Spangled Banner in that first pic and trying to conduct an orchestra in pic #3.
You picked out and coordinated some nice pic frames. I’ve always wanted to do a wall of photos in my house…thanks for reminding me to get on top of that project. I procrastinate way too much.
I hope your day is a good one!
PS-love the poncho and piano presents….so cool!
i am going to spoil this baby
“To spoil” means “to leave something on a shelf until it rots.”
I do not think you can spoil her by holding her close.
Chin up. The fusses happen to all of us. Eventually she’ll get by them. You may find that she’s now developmentally advanced enough that taking her out doesn’t hit her ‘off’ switch (which is how very young babies cope with a lot of sensory input — they go to sleep.) Instead it keeps her awake and stimulated and eventually, because she hasn’t napped enough, damn cranky. This usually also means they’ll start sorting out a nap schedule, and you can begin to work round it, napping them at home, and going out when they’re awake anyway.
She’s looking absolutely fantastic, Matt.
XO
garrity
Dealing with colic: as some of mentioned, car rides and vacumn cleaners can help–even the noise of a Dust Buster. If you get really desperate, you can also put her in the car seat and put her on top of the drier as it’s running–just make sure you have a hand on it so it doesn’t get joggled off if the drier bumps a lot. The noise can calm colicky babies.
Been there, done that, know what it’s like. Hang in there, Matt. You do know, don’t you, that’s it’s no reflection on you as a parent. Babies sometimes simply cry. We are genetically programmed to be almost desperate to stop that noise, and that’s why it’s so painful to listen to it.
Hi Matt! When my daughter (now 16 months) was an infant and she would scream in public I would get so stressed and worried about what other moms and dads were thinking about me. Now I know, because when I see another parent with a screaming baby I just feel badly for them, I don’t judge! We’ve all been there and we know what it is like to make a mad dash through Target with a screaming child who promptly calms down when you hit the parking lot!
You are getting tons of advice but mine is to trust yourself. You are her father, you know what is best. All the advice in the world cannot beat your instincts.
Sounds like she might be having a “wonder week.” If so, they don’t last long (thankfully) but do require lots of holding. Our son was relatively easygoing until he hit one of these. I think you age-adjust them so she would be running about four weeks behind? and just hitting the first crappy one at five to six weeks. That is the hardest as you really feel like you are getting things down and then there is the crying. Here are some links with some more info on the “wonder weeks:”
http://www.cyh.com/HealthTopics/HealthTopicDetails.aspx?p=114&np=122&id=2312
http://www.livingcontrolsystems.com/wonder_weeks/content_ww.html#ch06
Hi Matt,
I posted a messge the other day when I read your blog for the first time. Somehow in my “Mom” frenzy…I didn’t post correctly. Not sure what I did. Anyway…your story had me in tears all day on Monday. As a Mom who had a difficult pregnancy, c-section and a baby in the NICU, I related to your wife. I have had a really hard time dealing with several of the things that happened during my delivery. After reading your blog, I view things much differently now. What peace your wife must feel, knowing what a wonderful job you are doing as a Father. I realize that nothing I can say could make things better for you. However…know that your story, your wife’s story, your daughter’s story, has had an enormous impact on so many people. The “newborn” stage is difficult enough without the added stress of a loss such as yours. It sounds that all that you do is in the best interest of your daughter. I honestly do not believe that there is a job that is more wonderful, difficult or important as being a good parent.
Your story has changed me.
Happy Birthday to your sweet Maddy.
(And…Kudos for having the stamina to post on your blog every day! Your words inspire many people to do better and be better.)
Coming out of lurkedom … I came across your blog by chance a few weeks ago and as a mom, your story has touched me. And although you might think you aren’t a strong person – you are – facing one day at a time.
I’m not sure if anyone commenting above mentioned this but I’m betting Madeline’s cranky day might be associated with the recent vaccines she received. I have 2 boys (ages 6 & 3.5) and they always had a few cranky days a few days after getting their shots.
She wanted you to hold her and you did what she needed. It’s all right and good in my book!
Hi Matt,
I find myself laughing, crying and admiring your photography talent daily as I read your blogs. You have the amazing ability to capture the essence of a situation with your unique view of the world through your lens (I loved the pic of the guy’s furry shin under the table at the coffee shop for some reason).
Although I’ve been a lurker for quite a while, I was inspired to comment today when you said that you are spoiling Madeline by holding her all the time. I want to share a piece of advice that I received when our son was but a wee wonder, “It’s not what you give a child that spoils them, it’s what you give them to avoid conflict that spoils them.”
Keep on keeping on – I hope you are strengthened knowing that you have so many cheering fans in your corner.
I was thinkin’ yesterday, that it was kinda cool that Obama was (pretty much) accepting the Democratic nomination in The MN. I’m guessin’ Liz woulda liked that.
Hope your Tuesday wasn’t awful and that Miss M is feelin’ better!
I don’t think the call to Liz was an accident…maybe it was her way of letting you know she was thinking of you both and to let you know that you are doing a great job.
I love that you celebrate her birthday every week — makes me wish I had done the same with my kiddos.
You can never spoil a baby by holding her too much! Hang on tight to your beautiful girl.
Someone pointed me to your blog today and I have read it almost non stop since I found it. Like all others I couldn’t help but cry at both the sadness and the beauty of this story that is your life. I hope you don’t mind me sticking around to read more about the amazing life that your Madeline is encoutering, She is having the spirit of her mom live on in the fantastic man that is her father. Thank you for sharing your story.
My family jokingly refers to Mylacon as ‘baby crack’. If it’s gas that was causing the fussing, this will work wonders!! But let’s hope it was just an off day or something.
You did fantastic, though – and don’t worry about what other people are thinking when you are out shopping w/ a fussy baby. They are probably thinking – ‘poor guy’ because they’ve been through it w/ a child or niece/nephew.
Keep up the FANTASTIC work. Liz would be proud. Never forget that.
Matt, I just spent last night and this morning reading through your entire blog. My heart aches for you and Madeline. You made Liz a part of all of our lives and I am so thankful for getting to know you all.
You are doing a wonderful job raising your beautiful little girl. Keep up the good work.
Hugs from Wyoming!
Ok, is it me or is that first picture the spitting image of Liz’s first glimpse of Maddy on the operating table?
Hang in there pappa! It will get better.
I just wanted to say I think your doing an amazing job as a dad. My 3rd little one is 4 months old and just got out of the whole, colic/tummy aches stage. I just used, like lots of people on here, Mylicon drops.
I too think that Liz was letting you know she was there by your side, watching over you and Maddy, and making sure you knew that she shares in those rough days and in the good days.
Also your story hits me hard, because my sister had my niece Lexi on March 22, 2008, she was born at 32 weeks gestation. After 3 weeks of bedrest my sister was finally able to get up and do things. The day she was being checked out of the hospital, she got very dizzy, lightheaded and all her vitals went crazy. Come to find out she had a massive blood clot in her leg in a main artery, do to bedrest and some of the various medications to stop labor. They where able to catch it and saved her life that very day. That was March 25. It also hits hard because I was on bedrest for 9 weeks with my son, and just gave birth to him feb 7th, 2008 at 35 weeks. i also had problems getting back to myself and was in and out of the hospital.
My husband as well as my sisters husbands where terrified. I can’t even imagine how hard this all is for you.
I do know that you really are impressive and one day Madeline is going to let you know just how much she appreciates all your amazing hard work. I am sure she does right now with all the smiles and coos.
Take care, hope today is good.
I have been reading for a while, As I read your post today I felt compelled to comment. First your gut reaction as a Parent was to hold your baby, she needed you and you were there. There will be many more times that your Parental gut will help you just do what you need to do. I also wanted to say, I do believe Liz was saying “I am here, feel my love” last night. You are lucky to have Maddie, a part of Liz. You are a wonderful photographer and writer and Dad, there is so much heart and emotion in your posts. As I watch Maddie grow she looks more and more like Liz. I also agree with some earlier posts that I think you have the start to a best selling book.
I has someone tell me once that if your baby is upset and can’t seemed to be soothed except by being held then they’re going through a growth spurt. Treasure the fact that she’s wanting to be cuddled right now because it won’t last!
Babies go through fussy periods. She might be having a growth spurt or something. Or is maybe a bit gassy (has she been sampling food from the Polish place?)
Happy Bee-day to Madeline!
No comment on the phone call… that’s just crazy. Wow….
Wow… that first pic DOES look like Liz when she saw Madeline!
Happy bday madeline!
Matt, the phone call is just Liz’s way of letting you know she is there with you. Things like that will happen but you shouldnt be upset or sad about them, just think of it as Liz.
Hey Matt, I’ve spent the last couple of days catching up on your blog. I found you through a link.
I am so deeply sorry for your loss and I so admire how you are carrying on.
My own daughter is just 2 weeks older than Maddy. I know all about those fussy days. We had one yesterday too. I’d suggest you try wearing her in your sling or that sweet BabyHawk you got. Wearing my daughter seems to calm her. I also wear her when we shop because baby+carseat gets pretty heavy.
I fully believe you can’t spoil an infant, especially by loving her! You’re doing a great job!
Oh and Happy 10 weeks to Madeline! She’s a cutie!
Yay for Birthday 10/52!!
Maddy definitely got some awesome gifts. I, too love the pink piano. I can’t wait to see her going crazy on it.
Hope today is less fussy.
Happy Birthday Madeline!! You’re doing a great job raising her, she’s getting so big.
I hope she had a good birthday. I have to say she is the best dressed baby I have ever seen.
Madeline looks great in that onesie.
The public outbursts never get any easier, you just get better at handling them.
So true, so true…memories and the Electric Fetus. The scent of the Fetus finds a special place in the neurons of everyone who spends time there. I love to inhale my cds on my way home from a visit there.
Hi Matt, I just wanted you to know that I have been thinking of you and Madeline all day yesterday and today. I say a prayer for you each day and hope that today was better than yesterday and tomorrow is better than today.
Jenn
Happy 10 weeks Madeline!
Hey, I’ve been dealing with a super fussy baby myself. If all else fails and you can’t keep get her to calm down, the vacuum seems to do the trick for us. Oh – and gripe water works wonders for us. Good luck with the fussies.
Luckily, my son didn’t have colic. But my nephew did, and I do not know how my sister handled it. It sucks. No one knows what to do about it, and every parent has had a screaming kid in a store. Just wait til Madeline is a toddler – your ears will bleed with the volume and then they also develop this look of betrayal when they don’t get their way – it’s a fantastic weapon in the child’s arsenal.
Anyway, I found this for Madeline, but I’m not buying it for her because you said she has a ton of clothes. So, assuming you are (or Liz was) an Obama supporter, here you go – http://www.cafepress.com/buy/madeline+obama/-/pv_design_prod/p_2774467.251068039/pNo_251068039/id_27168921/fpt_/opt_/c_666/pg_1
Happy Belated Birthday Madeline! You’re getting so big!
Matt, here are some links that might help out with the picture framing:
Hang and Level – available at Home Depot
http://www.hangandlevel.com/
Pottery Barn Memory Wall:
http://www.potterybarn.com/stylehouse/decorate/mem_wall/index.cfm?cm_type=snav
Pottery Barn How-To Video for a Family Wall (I’m hopefully going to do this someday!)
http://www.potterybarn.com/stylehouse/videos/video_library/index.cfm#
(scroll down to the very bottom to watch the video)
Good luck!
People come in to our lives for reasons. I don’t remember who or how I was sent to your blog, to your story, to your life, but I’m thankful that I’ve been part of your journey through the computer. I saw a truck the other day (while sitting with my 9 month old daughter) that said “Robotics and Repairs”. It was a company that fixes techno type things. Seeing “robots” reminded me of you, Maddy, and your blog. I looked at my daughter and smiled. During times of struggle and almost self defeating challenges, I have a stack of post-it’s that I wrote the word “Strength” on and place them in places that I know I’ll look. During the new days of screaming, gassy, crying baby…my strength post-it’s got their work out. It helped to remember that I (we, you) posses inner strength.
Happy 10-week birthday Maddy! They keep getting better and better.
Happy Strengh Tuesday, Matt! Hope they get better and better.
Tracy in Austin, tx
P.S. I think it’s amazing that the number dialed was Liz. She was watching you and Maddy. Love it.
Happy Birthday! You are a doll.
Wear Maddy in your Baby Bjorn. Wear her all of the time she will comfort you and you her..
So Sweet. Thanks for sharing
I think you are doing a wonderful job!!! My little man acted like madeline did today for about 3 months straight. If you put him down he would just scream. Those baby carrier things are the best invention ever IMHO. I don’t know what we would have done without them. I stuck him in and could walk around and do things around the house.
I wanted to throw in another comment. You CAN NOT spoil a child under one year old. They cry because they need something and it is our job to figure out what that is. You are doing an amazing job… Keep up the good work.