Keep them coming!

And I hate to break it to you…yes, often times the “firsts” are the hardest…but sometimes they’re not. Sometimes it’s the second or the third or the fourth (or even the fiftieth) that’s impossibly hard, harder even than the first time. Especially with something like returning for the first time after the funeral–the “first” time there you were stoned, in shock, and bracing yourself for the funeral…the “first” of being there for the first time without Liz was just slightly overshadowed by the death and funeral accoutrements. But now you don’t have those to distract you, and the painful contrast between how life is and how you assumed it would be–bringing Madeline to the mn for the very first time, you AND Liz happy but tired and proud new parents, taking Maddie around to all the new spots and showing her off TOGETHER–is overwhelming. There’s a reason you’re crying: you’re doing something impossible. I’m so sorry for all the pain right now; just breathe through it and survive the best you can. Take it minute by minute, hour by hour.

Hang in there, and be gentle with yourself.

I just want to say, even w/ my third baby, I was afraid to leave the house for the first month or so – I kid you not. I’m such a chickenshit, lol. Never would I have attempted to take a wee one on a plane (my oldest is 7 and still hasn’t flown). I can’t tell you how much I admire your ability to tote Madeline around like that. She is going to be so easy going.