woke up early.
went to see ben, dana and family
in the sierra madre.
dana offered to hang out
with madeline so that
i could go do one of my
favorite things…
wandering, taking photos with ben.
we dropped maddy off
so she could stare
at ben’s little boy.
once again reminded
dana that the kids
need to nap in
separate rooms.
we took off,
heading toward the azuza.
we headed down a path
through the river,
a very dry river.
it was hotter than
hell, so we didn’t stay
out too long,
but we got some
decent shots.
later i posed with
a cactus,
and it made me pay.
later we drove back toward
ben’s house.
we were hungry when
we arrived, so we decided
to have a little lunch in the
sierra madre.
dropped madeline in her
car seat and took a little walk.
ended up at a restaurant
where i could still
get some breakfast.
heard
liz’s
voice, trying to dissuade me
from doubling the pork
products.
i did anyway.
(i was hungry)
madeline watched, disapprovingly.
after lunch
we did a little
shopping for one of madeline’s
new friends.
then we sat on a bench,
watching a standing
dana feed madeline.
(we offered her a seat, she didn’t want it).
walked back to their
house and said goodbye.
drove home, talking
to a friend in the nj
who is in a different
hole-filled boat, but is
bailing the same water.
got great advice on everything,
she even managed to make
me laugh a bunch.
a damn good friend.
i talked too long
and made us late
for the birthday
party at madeline’s friend
gracie’s house.
madeline’s first birthday party.
we arrived toward the end of
the festivities, but madeline
got to give her
a nice gift
and wish her a happy birthday
with one of her signature
smiles and drools.
(forgot the camera in the car).
we had to run,
had to get to the santa monica
for opening night
at the gallery
showing the work of
our friend fabrice.
madeline’s first gallery visit.
we met adam and ivette
and wandered around,
taking in the art
and enjoying the company.
megan held and fed madeline
while i had some fun
with the art.
(the artist had to anticipate this type of shot whould be taken).
after the show,
we joined fabrice, megan
and some of their friends
for dinner in the culver city.
waiting for a table,
the hostess noticed
liz’s
rings.
she asked the questions
that required
an answer that would
only make her sad.
i gave it to her
straight, and she reacted
like all the others.
it’s getting easier
for me to
talk about everything,
but it never seems
easy for people to hear.
especially when they see
madeline in my arms.
we finally got a
table outside
and enjoyed everyone’s company
and laughter.
madeline slept under a heat-lamp,
barely stirring.
we said goodbye
around midnight
and drove home.
both of us ready to sleep,
we crashed on the couch,
waking up at 3:30am,
finally ready for a proper
night’s sleep.
lots of firsts for
madeline today,
lots of smiles
for both of us.
Comments 81
Fantastic pics.
Have a happy weekend.
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 1:46 pm ¶Glad you had some smiles. I agree with kate, must no longer skip ahead to see the photos in your account, seeing the story unfold here is so much better.
I hope the continuing days were full of smiles as well…
PS. Fuck Jill
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 1:48 pm ¶Matt- so happy to see another post where there was a day filled with smiles along with good friends. I hope you have many more of those.
I’m glad it is getting easier to tell the story of the rings. I know the pain is still there but people will listen and the love you have for Liz comes out in how you talk about her.
I know this is for a post a few days ago - but I am heading “up north” for the 4th of July weekend - not far from where you were when you were here. (not sure how I will survive away from your blog…. addiction is such an awful thing. lol) So I want to wish you and Madeline a Happy 4th of July. I hope it is a peaceful weekend for you both.
As always, love and hugs from the mn.
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 1:51 pm ¶How amazing this is going to be for Madeline when she gets older. Who needs a baby book with a few milestones when she has this! Great Job!
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 1:53 pm ¶Excuse me, but I speak fluent baby, and it looks to me that Madeline’s look isn’t so much expressing disapproval; she is saying something more like, “That looks yummier than the stuff in my bottle…” (We got that look A LOT.)
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 1:56 pm ¶Sounds like you had a great day! Madeline gets cuter and cuter with every photo you take of her.
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 1:57 pm ¶I dibs firsties!
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 2:00 pm ¶I am first to post here? Amazing! What a savvy little daughter you have! And the accolades to you have been said so many times that it seems silly to say more! Sending love to you from your No. 1 fan in Illinois.
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 2:01 pm ¶i feel like a celebrity. I don’t think–no, i KNOW–no one has ever added my name to a blog entry! glad we were able to hang out saturday and again for dinner this week. you are always welcome at our home (be it here or..gasp…THE OC!). see you when we get back from france..megan
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 2:03 pm ¶‘Lots of smiles from both of us’ - yippie!
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 2:06 pm ¶Had to get that one off fast in the (likely vain) hope that I might actually be the first commentor amongst all the Quick Draw McGraws we’ve got here. What can we say; we’re all itchin’ for news of you and checking the blog far too often…
Just when I was enjoying the sartorial delights of the first part of the blog (love the Twins shirt, I had one when I was a kid with that original logo of them shaking hands across the river) and thinking “How refreshing to see Matt in something other than a plaid button-down…”, along came that obligatory garment and I was disappointed. And yet…I also felt strangely at home and that all was right with the world…a plaid button-down can have that effect on a girl.
I’m thrilled to read that this is getting easier for you to talk about. If you were keeping it inside, now THAT would have me worried. That’s not healthy for anyone, listener or listenee alike.
I remain two things:
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 2:07 pm ¶1) impressed at all you pack into an average day; and 2) disappointed at the lack of men’s room shots at the museum.
she is getting so big! such a doll. have a great weekend.
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 2:07 pm ¶I love the table shot with the wine glass
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 2:07 pm ¶What a fun day! And I too hope the artist anticipated that shot…gave us all a good laugh!
Madeline grows cuter by the second!
Have a wonderful 4th you two!!
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 2:08 pm ¶i cant believe how much madeline changes every day. she is so much bigger, more alert, and has so much expression now. big props to mom and dad for such a cute baby.
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 2:09 pm ¶Love the art. Madeline is already such a cultured baby, you are teaching her so many amazing things.
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 2:13 pm ¶What a great, great day. More smiles from here, too, to know that you and Madeline are smiling and that the memories of Liz are still so dear but somewhat less wrenching. Whatever you feel, whenever you feel it, is the right thing to feel, you know? (good grief, that makes me sound like a total left-coaster - you’d never guess I’m actually a buttoned-up Brit. Guess the 4 years in Seattle were good for me!).
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 2:19 pm ¶Madeline’s as beautiful as ever and your photos are, as you would rightly say, super awesome. LOVE the tumbleweed shot!
I’m loving how alert Madeline looks nowadays. You’re doing awesome, Daddy! In the next year you’re going to have to work on getting her home by her bedtime though. Haha!
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 2:19 pm ¶Matt-
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 2:20 pm ¶Sounds like a wonderful day, and oh the culture Maddie is getting!
Your an awesome dad - Liz would love the way you are bringing up baby
So glad to see another great day for you and Madeline!
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 2:21 pm ¶The rail track picture is great.
and she’s more and more a doll every single day.
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 2:23 pm ¶You with the tumbleweed reminds me of Raising Arizona for some reason. And when you said you dropped Maddy in her car seat, I thought you literally dropped her (been there, done that).
I’m so glad to hear the happiness in your “voice” and see you smiling more.
And I have to say that I don’t think I know anyone who has as many cool and cultured friends as you!
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 2:25 pm ¶Sounds like a great day.
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 2:42 pm ¶I love the picture of you with your new body.
Have a great 4th of July.
p.s. Where is your flickr link? Miss that
It’s great to see the continuation of happy days.
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 2:45 pm ¶God Matt, you do more in one day than I do in a week (month???). And I think Madeline stays out later than I do most nights. Your blog, among other things, makes me feel like I should get out there and experience new places and people a bit more.
As somebody who heads to bed at the first sign of trouble, I’m quite impressed that you haven’t let grief stop you from engaging with the world.
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 3:00 pm ¶HAHA about not being able to nap in the same room. I love this post too. You both look so good. And oh my, what big boobs you have. Maddy is not looking like a newborn at all anymore. She is just so gorgeous!
Great genes!
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 3:09 pm ¶sometimes when your a headless pregnant sculpture you have giant implants- but just sometimes.
Glad Madeline enjoyed so many neato *firsts* that day- it means you both got to live through all those things a first time.. her the first time ever- you the first time as daddy.. that is special..
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 3:09 pm ¶The art piece made me chuckle! Enjoy the SF!
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 3:13 pm ¶So glad you had lots of smiles today. Maddie is looking too cute…she seemed to like the gallery.
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 3:18 pm ¶Wow, the cactus needle and ring shot……….
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 3:21 pm ¶you know i’m quite jealous of your ability to stand behind the boob statue and have your legs match up so that they can’t be seen. i feel like an elephant now..thanks..
i’m so glad you had a great day!! many to follow i’m sure!
hugs from NJ,
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 3:29 pm ¶erica and Landon
a happy m&m=a happy me! yea!
@erica
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 3:45 pm ¶thought the same thing about the legs, well…thighs! (sigh.)
Love it! I absolutely love how cultured you are
We would definately have fun hanging out together lol. Your friends art looks VERY cool !! Sounds like another great day 
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 3:46 pm ¶Hey Maddy and Matt!! It looks like you had a great trip and had fun at the baseball game. I can’t get over how big Maddy is getting. Wow! And the smiles are gorgeous! Keep doing what your doing Matt!
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 3:46 pm ¶as Melissa from the NJ says (sort of) What great boobs you have my dear. Cute shot.
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 3:58 pm ¶I, personally would miss the rings if you stopped wearing them and by now I suspect you feel naked without them.
I’m glad you had a couple of good days.
I hope high cholesterol doesn’t run in your family for Madeline’s sake. I am not a fan of pork products, but excellent, hot, lovely popovers are heavenly with lots of real butter.
Asalamalaykom,
You’ve dealt with the dangers of cacti and of art exposing itself to you, and yet I’m going to beat a a dead horse, or in this case: a dead pig.
I think that I, myself, get into the “I deserve this” way of thinking when I want to make my body suffer a bit from unhealthy eating. I know better, but I don’t do better because I have bad feelings about [fill in the blank] and therefore get to be naughty with my diet.
Here’s the problem: my son. He needs me. He needs me more than anyone else in the world. Without me, he is a lost little boy. For him, I really need to eat better in order to live better.
Madeline is the same for you.
This isn’t about weight. It’s about our insides and how we are loving ourselves or hurting ourselves.
I am sending you this link about eating pork:
http://www.moseshand.com/studies/eatingpork.htm
Though religious, it’s not Islamic.
This one is by Dr. Kellogg, who started up the cereal company:
http://www.giveshare.org/Health/porkeatdanger.html
Research it more if you’d like.
Just, please consider that your body is what keeps you going for Madeline. If you take better care of your body, you are, God willing, going to stand a better chance of being there for her in the future.
I promise that I will never try to convince you to be a Muslim. You don’t have to be.
BUT I gave up pork before I entered Islam, because it is just such an awful food for health.
When your body is healing (from injury, trauma or shock, for instance), there are several things you should NOT do, and this is according to holistic health practioners:
1. No alcohol
2. No smoking
3. No sex
4. No pork
Any of those four can inhibit your ability to detoxify and repair damage.
This last comment is from http://detoxaustralia.com.au/clean_up_your_diet.htm
“Without going into gruesome details, pork is probably the most toxic of non-organic meats because pigs don’t sweat out toxins in the way that some other animals can…”
OK, so you keep hearing THE voice telling you to stop eating pork. What is your actual response?
Ya, I know others in the comments are going to cheer you on if you double-up on bacon AND ham for breakfast. That isn’t going to be me. I do show my caring in a different way, but I hope you understand that it is still loving.
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 3:59 pm ¶Looking good, you two! One of the other posters had it right. You do so much every week. I feel like such a schlub.
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 4:06 pm ¶LOVE the picture of you with the statue-absobloodlylutely hilarious! Madeline is gorgeous gorgeous gorgeous!
Fellow posters: Can we PLEASE not do the fight-to-be-first thing? We all love to read and we all love to post, and it really DOESN’T matter who is first, it’s not a race. So I beg of all of you that are temped to post an “I dibs firsties!” post: grow up. Please.
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 4:21 pm ¶*snort* the fun with art photo is a scream!!!
Love the photo down the wall of the gallery.
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 4:44 pm ¶fantastic shots. smiles are good. dry rivers are not.
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 4:45 pm ¶Yumm pork breakfast! Dare I say you look as though you’ve gained a bit of weight back. You are starting to look a bit healthier.
Love to see you smiling more in photos.
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 4:52 pm ¶Great pictures Matt,
Glad to hear you and Maddy had a great full, fun day! Have a good 4th in the SF.
Blessings
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 4:52 pm ¶Mr. Popularity doesn’t stop going! Madeline has done more fun stuff the short little time she has been in this world than I have in my 27 years. (ok well maybe that is being a little over dramatic) I’m glad to see lots of smiles. Have you ever thought about teaching time management classes? Or “how to get the most out of every minute of the day” classes?
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 4:54 pm ¶Thanks to you, I now have tea all over my keyboard from spitting it out laughing at the picture of you and the model-boobs!
LOL!
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 5:07 pm ¶WELL worth it! WELL WORTH IT!!! =)
Love the photo with the art.
Madeline is the most cosmopolitan baby around!
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 5:26 pm ¶Sounds like a great day. Smiles are good. Great pictures.
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 5:44 pm ¶Sounds like you and Madeline had a fantastic time! It’s incredible how much you can pack into a day.
I came across a story on The Onion website, and it contains two of what appear to be your favorite things: baseball and the word “fuck”.
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/fantasy_baseball_owner_rips_team
Hope you and Madeline have a great 4th!
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 5:57 pm ¶I just wanted to let you know that you posed with the saddest excuse for a tumbleweed EVER.
Check out this for an example of a REAL tumbleweed: http://tinyurl.com/6qtmey
(Also wanted to let you know that I think you are doing an amazing job with Madeline, and I can’t even fathom experiencing everything that you’ve gone through. Good luck, and I’ll be thinking of you!)
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 6:57 pm ¶It’s awesome that you have so many great, supportive friends. Glad to see another great day for you - have fun on the 4th!
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 7:52 pm ¶Matt,
So glad to hear that you’re having better days, and it’s easier to talk about everything. Hoping on more happy days…smiles…and a safe and Happy 4th! Have fun at the game! Loving all the pics especially the one of you w/ the art LOL
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 7:53 pm ¶Glad to hear you’re smiling. HUGS!
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 7:54 pm ¶“once again reminded dana that the kids need to nap in separate rooms.” <—oddly enough…i relate!!
gotta watch out for those over zealous newborn boys!! (or their parents!!!)
LOVED the boob/preggo statue! and Miss madeline is stunning. give her some hugs and kisses from us!
wishing you MUCH JOY and ALOHA on the 4th! be blessed because you SO are.
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 7:56 pm ¶Your photos are awesome… love the one at the art gallery.
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 7:57 pm ¶2 awesome days in a row. Sweet.
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 8:08 pm ¶Love all the pics…my favorite is the balloon one. I want that framed for my son’s bedroom… it’s way cool.
When are you going to have a gallery show with all of your awesome photos??
Hope you’re having a lovely time in SF.
Happy 4th!
Hi Matt, I read your blog regularly and it always inspires me to get the most out of every day. Mind you, lately I get tired just reading about the adventures you and the beautiful Madeline are having!
Keep up the writing and the amazing photos and thank you for sharing your life with everyone.
Hugs to you and Madeline from Australia
PS I am so jealous of your boobage!
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 8:10 pm ¶Matt - I wish I had your energy, stamina, and legs.
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 8:49 pm ¶I’ll forego the beard for a while longer tho (God willing).
Great pics - glad to hear you’re having more and more good days.
needed smiles. And deserved.
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 8:56 pm ¶does this make 3 smiling days in a row?! that’s awesome!! i’m so happy you guys had such a great day. maddy gets cuter every day. and that statue pic is priceless!! i LOVE it!
happy 4th of july (about 1 hour early, central time!)
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 8:57 pm ¶I did see some fruit with that pork-laden-meal…so not all so totally bad.
Glad to see you are having some good days and getting out and doing the things you love. And Madeline - OMG complete and utter cuteness.
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 10:17 pm ¶What? No shot of Maddy latched on to the Venus de Mammo? Oh well…
I’m just glad you’re keeping your body busy and your spirits up. Day by day, that’s how a life’s made.
Posted 03 Jul 2008 at 11:06 pm ¶Pregnancy looks good on you! Enjoy ‘em while you’ve got ‘em, cuz they’ll turn on you. Turn south, that is.
So glad to hear that things are getting easier for you to talk about. I had an all around crappy day today. Wanna know what made me feel better? A chocolate brownie sweet shot from Chili’s. Yum-O.
Posted 04 Jul 2008 at 12:12 am ¶Dude,
nice rack…
Posted 04 Jul 2008 at 1:44 am ¶I love how you often crash on the couch with Maddy. That’s probably the best part of her day- just snuggling with her Daddy.
LOL, she’s going to be so bored when she has to go to daycare after all her daily outings, art galleries, pool parties, b-day parties, restaurant hopping, ball games, etc with you!
You’re doing a fantastic job as a father! Happy 4th you you, Madeline and Awesome Auntie Deb!
PS- love Fabrice’s pic of Venice…think it’s Venice anyway. Really nice! Will have to go check out his website to see if it’s for sale.
Posted 04 Jul 2008 at 2:08 am ¶I love your comment about napping in seperate rooms! Just wait till she takes her first bath with a boy!!
Posted 04 Jul 2008 at 3:38 am ¶I learned a new word today thanks to a comment by Gina. Now I know what Bokeh means.
So now I can say cool sentences like “Hey Matt, your Bokeh rocks!”
PS- the format is still different than before (all your stats, archives, etc are all on the bottom of the page) and the text is still smooshed all the way to the left but flickr is there, so all’s good! :O) Carry on!
Posted 04 Jul 2008 at 5:03 am ¶Shit, stop fucking with me Matt. (j/k) No sooner did I type my last comment, posted it into outer space and now the format is back to normal again.
I think now is a good time for a coffee break or happy hour…sheesh! This is starting to make me feel like I have multiple personalities. Maybe the IT people at my work are just screwing with me. Fockers.
Posted 04 Jul 2008 at 5:08 am ¶One day I hope to win the lottery (I guess that means that I should start playing soon). When I do, I am going to pay you a large sum of money to follow me around for a month to photograph all of the things around me. Your eye for the ordinary to make it extraordinary is so great. Here is hoping for a great day Matt and Maddy!
Posted 04 Jul 2008 at 6:36 am ¶Love,
AV
Matt - you are an amazing dad and Liz would be proud. I read your blog every day because you inspire me to be a better parent…really ya do.
Love your pics too.
Posted 04 Jul 2008 at 7:43 am ¶Amazing photos and a fun-filled day–awesome! I am so impressed with how chill Madeline is–she really gets around. How great for you both. Thinking of you today at the baseball game. Can’t wait to see the pics. Happy 4th!
Posted 04 Jul 2008 at 8:00 am ¶Happy first 4th of July Maddie, hope you and your daddy have a great day:-)!!!!
Posted 04 Jul 2008 at 10:26 am ¶Matt– your post made me smile.
I’m so happy to hear that you are smiling. And like another commenter noticed– methinks it looks like you might be putting on some weight! Good for you! 
Madeline is growing so much– so fast.
Your post made my day.
BTW– fantastic pictures!
Posted 04 Jul 2008 at 11:18 am ¶Matt,
soooooo happy for you. sounds like you and madeline had a super day full of good friends, good photos, good art, good food - it goes on and on. She is getting more and more beautiful every day. You are doing an awesome job.
Sending hugs and best wishes from MN.
Posted 04 Jul 2008 at 12:23 pm ¶uhhhhhh, yeah nice rack. hehehe the little cutie pie is getting too big too fast.
Posted 04 Jul 2008 at 12:56 pm ¶Hi Matt…
Posted 04 Jul 2008 at 12:59 pm ¶I recognized the restaurant in Sierra Madre from your plate of food…. They have the best cup of coffee and the blueberry stuffed french toast is delicious! You should try it next time… Glad to know that you and Madeline are home safely
Happy 4th of July Matt and Madeline! Hope you have a fun filled busy day with your awesome friends and family. Can’t wait to see pics of Madeline’s first July 4th.
Posted 04 Jul 2008 at 2:47 pm ¶so glad you two had fun today! Made me smile at your pictures. Love the body shot! That girl of yours is definetly going to have a sense of humor being around her dad!
Posted 04 Jul 2008 at 3:04 pm ¶This post made me smile.
Posted 04 Jul 2008 at 4:21 pm ¶What a beautiful post!
Posted 04 Jul 2008 at 4:50 pm ¶You’re right– it IS hard to hear. I’m sure it’s obvious, but this is my first time here.
Rather than dwell on what happened, which would be easy for me to do but probably not all that helpful for you, I’ll just say that you seem to be dealing with it all in a very healthy way. I’m so sorry for your loss. I think you’ll find this written and photographic record even more helpful and valuable years from now than you already do, and Madeline will be very glad to have it.
Meanwhile, this sounds and looks like it was a wonderful day, and your daughter looks beautiful. She almost makes me miss those early days… but then I remember the crying, lack of sleep, and other typical frustrations you must know so well, and I realize I’m probably better off for now here in the toddler/preschool years. I’m sure I’ll feel the same way at each stage, though, until they’re teenagers.
Posted 06 Jul 2008 at 12:09 am ¶Your story is so touching and I just want to wish you and your beautiful daughter peace-full days and sleep filled nights. A friend told me about your situation and sometimes I just check in to see the photos of how your girl is growing and to read some of what you going through. I have three kids and I know how demanding parenthood can be without the challenges that you are obviously facing. You are an amazing dad…
peace,
anni
Posted 06 Jul 2008 at 3:22 am ¶I love that you wear Liz’s ring. Love, love, love, love it.
Love your writing style too. You have a way of making me smile for you and for madeline.
Posted 09 Jul 2008 at 5:46 pm ¶Post a Comment