still reeling from the
excitement of the weekend,
and anticipating the
activities of the
coming week,
madeline and i
spent the morning enjoying
doing nothing.
seriously.
nothing.
she slept.
then she woke up
and we
just stared at each other.
(look at those eyes!)
it was nice.
celebrated birthday week 14/52
by going to lunch with
auntie anya in the atwater village.
had a nice chat
and some good food.
went home and did
more of what we
did that morning.
i listened to some music
and madeline loved it.
later we went to dinner
with auntie angel fan
and auntie anya.
i collected on the $3
bet i had with diane.
(dodger’s won the freeway series, even winning a game during which they didn’t get a hit).
(take that, diane!).
and we talked of the future.
said goodbye to anya
and went with diane
to do a little shopping.
went home after buying
nothing, saying goodbye
to diane.
i paid some bills,
then madeline and i sat
in the house,
listening to more
music, me poking her
in the cheeks to get
a smile,
madeline smiling
(sometimes).
we fell asleep on
the couch again.
a relaxing day and night.
happy.
Comments 64
hope you got the 14th week robot bday card i sent!
Posted 05 Jul 2008 at 4:19 pm ¶Hi,
Posted 05 Jul 2008 at 4:28 pm ¶It was worth reading. I have read every entry from the begging. You always put a smile on my face and make me thankful for what I have. Your daughter is beautiful and your are very lucky. Everyday might not be easy but those that are make the harder one that much more worth it. I believe it will get easier as time goes on. Hang in there.
Amanda from MA.
Ps. if you are ever in town we should have lunch or hit up a sox game… you know the best baseball team. Hehehehe.
Ps. I’m also a photographer and love your work.
Posted 05 Jul 2008 at 4:30 pm ¶she is beautiful! and I’m the 3rd amanda to post!!!
Posted 05 Jul 2008 at 4:37 pm ¶Another Amanda here!
She looks so much like you in that second pic…
Posted 05 Jul 2008 at 4:45 pm ¶Always worth reading. Thanks for sharing your life with all off us stranger/relatives! Maddie has such big bright eyes and is getting bigger and is so expressive. I love following your story and seeing things from your point of view. Have a great evening. Wish you guys were here sharing a glass of wine with us in our backyard. We have a lovely hammock Ms. Maddie could nap in : )
Posted 05 Jul 2008 at 4:46 pm ¶Nice. She is so cute. I would pinch her cheeks too!
Posted 05 Jul 2008 at 5:05 pm ¶Always worth reading….and remembering.
Happy moments, sad moments, the good and the bad. it is all important and worthy of being held up and being given its due.
Thank you…through your very worthy moments..you sometimes enable others to see value in their own.
Posted 05 Jul 2008 at 5:05 pm ¶Wow!!! Its seems that you have an AMANDA fan’s club!
Posted 05 Jul 2008 at 5:06 pm ¶I gave up trying to be the “first”….I realised that the time difference will not allow me to reach the PODIUM never!
Anyway, really very HAPPY to read that you are having such great time with Maddy!
xoxo
Sol
So glad you are stringing a few happy days together!
I hope you are enjoying the Holiday weekend.
Amy from Louisville, KY.
Posted 05 Jul 2008 at 5:21 pm ¶omg that pic of madeline sticking out her tongue is priceless!!!! How freaking cute!!!!!!
Posted 05 Jul 2008 at 5:29 pm ¶YEA!!! Another happy day. So glad to see that Matt. Madeline is so beautiful! I know she is such joy to you.
Posted 05 Jul 2008 at 5:33 pm ¶sounds like a nice day. i used to poke my son for smiles too!
hugs from NJ,
Posted 05 Jul 2008 at 5:55 pm ¶erica and Landon
I really like how all of the last several posts are ending . . . with happiness and smiles.
Hugs
Posted 05 Jul 2008 at 6:03 pm ¶Matt-I’m NOT an Amanda…do I still get to post today??
Posted 05 Jul 2008 at 6:15 pm ¶Glad to hear that you had a relaxing day, I was getting exhausted just READING about all that you have been doing. Some one on one time is probably a nice change. I like reading about these kind of days, because I would have to imagine that sometimes, just sitting still can be hard, and the fact that you can do it and smile is a great thing.
I cannot get over how beautiful those pictures are. She must be such a joy to be with. In that sense, you are one lucky guy. I simply cannot look at those pictures without a smile on my face. Seriously. She looks so happy and healthy and loved.
~Maureen
Wow! Madeline really does have amazing eyes!
Glad to hear that you had a nice relaxing day.
Posted 05 Jul 2008 at 6:19 pm ¶Awesome!. And wow, what a good looking kid!
Posted 05 Jul 2008 at 6:23 pm ¶Another Amanda here in the MN. I have been lurking since the article in the Star Trib… Since it seems to be Amanda day thought it the perfect time to post. Glad to hear you had a “happy” day. Ok WOW posting was fun!
Posted 05 Jul 2008 at 6:32 pm ¶totally worth reading — glad to see that you had a calm, relaxing day.
Posted 05 Jul 2008 at 6:45 pm ¶I love that picture of Madeline sleeping. She is so beautiful. Glad to see that you had a nice, relaxing day.
Posted 05 Jul 2008 at 7:02 pm ¶As I’ve said before, every other time I read this I want to laugh and cry.
Posted 05 Jul 2008 at 7:16 pm ¶Madeline looks like Liz in the first pic, something about her lips. But then presto changeo!, she looks like you in others. Amazing.
You will be reduced to rasberries on her belly before too long. It’s a given.
I love the photography, you have a sense of the bizarre, humorous and beautiful all together. I hope you never lose it.
I love the shot of Madeline with her tongue out — adorable! Glad you had a happy day.
Posted 05 Jul 2008 at 7:48 pm ¶I feel like such a slacker for not commenting on previous posts. Here you are following through and catching up and I can’t keep up. Gift in the mail on Monday (to bank)!!!
Here’s several quotes to make up for not posting previously. For both Liz, love and Madeline’s beautiful big blue eyes:
“But to see her was to love her, love but her, and love her forever.”
–Robert Burns
“She walks in Beauty, like the night
Of cloudness climes and starry skies,
And all that’s best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes…”
–Lord Byron
“Sometimes your nearness takes my breath away; and all the things I want to say can find no voice. Then, in silence, I can only hope my eyes will speak my heart.”
Posted 05 Jul 2008 at 7:59 pm ¶–Robert Sexton
You are aware that your daughter is so friggin cute that you don’t even have to put words down, I would read it anyway!!
Posted 05 Jul 2008 at 8:36 pm ¶I am ANOTHER Amanda in the MN! Just had to come out of lurking on Amanda day! Maddy is just beautiful…but you already know that
Posted 05 Jul 2008 at 8:39 pm ¶Madeline is more beautiful every day! Her skin is just flawless, and those beautiful eyes…you’re going to have your work cut out for you when it’s time to scare the boys away!
Posted 05 Jul 2008 at 9:02 pm ¶Way too cute- the picture with her sticking her tongue out! I’m glad that Madeline and you had a relaxing and Happy 14/52 birthday. Things are sounding that they are on the up! Take care!
Posted 05 Jul 2008 at 9:08 pm ¶Hi Matt!
Those blue eyes are just so beautiful. I have added you to my google reader so I don’t always come directly to your website and have been missing out on the comments lately. the site looks good. When are the t-shirts coming?
Just wait until you hear a giggle from little Madeline, the things you will do to get that kid to laugh, oh the fun you will have.
-Alicia D from the CA
Posted 05 Jul 2008 at 9:13 pm ¶What gorgeous eyes - and that smile…I can see how easy it would be to just hang out and stare at her all day long. Babies are wonderful that way (and a million other ways too, except for the poop and the barf).
Posted 05 Jul 2008 at 9:19 pm ¶Beautiful baby and amazing Daddy. What a great job you’re doing .
Posted 05 Jul 2008 at 9:22 pm ¶Love the Madeline pics
She is a beauty!
Hope you are enjoying the holiday weekend!
You are here in the north- right? Hope you enjoyed our wonderful ballpark, and your Dodgers won on the 4th.
for me, but happy for you…. oh well, at least we got it tonight!!!!
Posted 05 Jul 2008 at 10:01 pm ¶happy! so glad to read that word…
Posted 05 Jul 2008 at 10:47 pm ¶FIRST mad props to Lisa in AZ for using a Robert Burns quote…I’m actually not originally from the WA but from the UK, and Burns nights are HUGE back in the motherland. Ode to a Haggis? Anyone? No?
MATT: Attended my first baseball game today EVER out of interest created by your baseball game posts…the Mariners…we won!!! WOO!!!
I’m really glad you are having happy, relaxing days. Madeline has the most stunning blue eyes. Or if I were to use the word of the day, I’d say she has the most pulchritudinous blue eyes. It’s a compliment, even though it doesn’t sound like one at ALL.
Posted 05 Jul 2008 at 11:33 pm ¶so glad you are having some happy days.
Posted 06 Jul 2008 at 12:10 am ¶Hi Matt,
Hi Madeline,
Warm wishes to both of you on this 4th of July weekend…
Still reading…
Pixie
Posted 06 Jul 2008 at 4:44 am ¶I love the last word of today’s post… happy! So nice to hear you say that word!
Posted 06 Jul 2008 at 6:26 am ¶No, I’m not another Amanda but wanted to say hellow anyway. Love the photos. She’s quite the cutie pie and appears to know it.
Keep putting one foot in front of the other. You’re doing great! Good days, bad days thanks for sharing it all. I’m not sure I would have that kind of courage.
Posted 06 Jul 2008 at 6:27 am ¶I feel quite left out not being an Amanda, but Madeline’s wee sticky out tongue more than makes up for it!
Posted 06 Jul 2008 at 6:38 am ¶this kid is ridiculously cute. and how very cool to read a post that finishes with “happy.” enjoy the rest of the weekend and the upcoming week. thanks again for letting us all in on it.
Posted 06 Jul 2008 at 7:34 am ¶Matthew,
I believe wholeheartedly that the educational section of the newspaper is just that and at times also provides some comic relief…
As we’ve traveled along life’s path, how grateful I am for your company and how grateful I am for your bringing along what I lack. But most of all, I’m grateful for what you’ve left behind when we had to part…for those provisions sustain me on my journey and lighten my burden.
~~ T.W. “Ziggy and Friends” December 2002
Posted 06 Jul 2008 at 7:59 am ¶Written for Susan and all my beautiful fellow travelers in life. ~~
I just love it when they sleep with their arms above their heads. I tried it once and it was very uncomfortable…. anyway, she is just growing like a weed! Wish we were closer to have a playdate.
Take care,
Posted 06 Jul 2008 at 8:51 am ¶Debbie
I am not an Amanda, but an Andrea - it’s close, does that count?
What is it about some babies that make you just want to eat them up? Madeline certainly is one of them. She is a beauty!
Posted 06 Jul 2008 at 9:37 am ¶M&M
Posted 06 Jul 2008 at 9:46 am ¶Awesome “happy” post, amazingly beautiful babe - with eyes like heaven
Thank you for sharing!
*always* worth reading…
Posted 06 Jul 2008 at 11:23 am ¶I have just read your blog so far from start to finish. I have tears pouring down my face, from the sadness and the hope and the growth from the sadness.
I am sending much love and strength from England to both you and Madeline.
Laura.
Posted 06 Jul 2008 at 2:14 pm ¶I love these pictures of Madeline and I’m glad it was a happy day for you.
Posted 06 Jul 2008 at 5:30 pm ¶What a little beauty! I so enjoy reading of you having some happy times. I’ll keep sending good karma your way.
Posted 06 Jul 2008 at 6:24 pm ¶I enjoy reading your blog.
see i think that was well worth reading!
Posted 06 Jul 2008 at 7:36 pm ¶the cute baby alone does my uterus wonders.
Matt
Posted 06 Jul 2008 at 7:56 pm ¶How strange do address you like I know you….but after weeks of strangers doing it, maybe you are getting used to it? Like so many others I am drawn to your blog…your loss is tragic. I cannot identify, I cannot even let myself imagine it happening to me, but the way you are finding your way through this is amazing. (I know how dumb that must sound, what choice do you have) How overwhelming to have to handle the most awful loss and at the same time embrace the miracle of your daughter. Whatever you are doing — keep doing it! Wishing you a happy week, one day at a time, and looking forward to your next post.
Always enjoy reading. Thanks for sharing your life and Maddy with us! love the pics! she’s getting so big… God Bless! So glad you had another happy day!
Posted 06 Jul 2008 at 8:02 pm ¶What a wonderful word that last word is. It made me smile. Happy.
Posted 06 Jul 2008 at 8:05 pm ¶nothing kind of days are fabulous when you have a baby, they grow so fast, its so meaningful to spend nothing time with them.
Posted 06 Jul 2008 at 8:26 pm ¶What’s up with all the Amandas’ today???
Posted 06 Jul 2008 at 8:55 pm ¶Always worth reading, my day wouldn’t be complete if I did see what the lastest was!! Love the pics of Madeline, so precious!! Sounds like you had a lovely day together!! Here’s to more!!
that might not be worth reading. but you didn’t write it.
Posted 06 Jul 2008 at 9:09 pm ¶What a beautiful little girl!! Great pics!
Posted 06 Jul 2008 at 9:27 pm ¶Yes, those eyes are amazing! Gorgeous girl you’ve got there. I’m boycotting all things computer for the week, but I’m already looking forward to next weekend and catching up here!
Posted 06 Jul 2008 at 11:43 pm ¶Thank you.
A friend directed me here - and after reading your post about Liz, I wasn’t sure I could read on.
I came as near to dying during my daughter’s birth 5 1/2 yrs ago as you can and live to tell about it.
Still to this day, I look at her & my husband and sometimes think I’m living on borrowed time - but I’m so glad to be here for them.
I cry just from thinking about it - this many years later.
I know that Liz must always be with you & Madeline all the time. She’s in your heart - and she’s obviously in that beautiful little girl of yours.
Some day, when Madeline asks how you did it - how you made it thru all of this and were still such a wonderful Dad - she will have this to look back on. And she’ll be even prouder, if possible.
May the two of you continue to grow the love of your family and always keep Liz in your hearts until you are together again.
Posted 07 Jul 2008 at 12:01 am ¶The pic of her sleeping is priceless. So sweet she is…
Posted 07 Jul 2008 at 12:14 am ¶so, so beautiful.. where is the time going? gosh…she is getting so big…
Posted 07 Jul 2008 at 12:15 am ¶~g
Happy is so wonderful! I wish you many more happy days to come!
Posted 07 Jul 2008 at 8:46 am ¶Dear Matt…just talked w/my sister, Patty In MN. and so sad to hear of the passing of your grandfather. My thoughts are with all of you.
Maddie’s eyes are gorgeous!! And you are a great dad!!
Karen Patrick Huey, Erie, Pa.
Posted 08 Jul 2008 at 5:10 pm ¶Matt,
Your moving story makes me smile, and sad.
Madeline is a ‘Little Liz’ what a beautiful girl.
I wish you both all the best for your future together.
Yasmin
Posted 09 Jul 2008 at 1:44 am ¶Matt,
Don’t know if you remember me from HHS or not, but I remember an compassionate dude who cared about others more than himself. Your daughter is beautiful. We’re thinking of you.
Jon
Posted 09 Jul 2008 at 7:24 pm ¶Madeline is just stunning. Look at how animated she is! I just cannot believe how fast she is growing–children are amazing.
Posted 10 Jul 2008 at 1:32 pm ¶Post a Comment