rough night last night.
doesn’t matter.
i’ve got madeline with
me so things are
looking up.
spent the day
eating and shopping
with the g. grandparents.
went to the burbank for lunch
then headed back
toward the glendale to do
a little shopping.
bought madeline some new
clothes, clothes that
make her look like
she was dressed by
a woman
instead of a single father.
who barely knows
how to dress himself.
picked them out all by
myself.
yeah, i’m proud.
later, kit and cara
stopped by, picking up dinner
and dessert for everyone.
had a nice night with
everyone. laughing, joking, telling
stories about
liz.
said goodbye to everyone and
spent the rest of the
evening pretending to
pack up for our trip
to the sf.
guess i’ll wait
’til the last
minute once
again.
97 Comments
very cute outfits! hope you have a safe trip to sf
You should be proud! You are awesome!
I can’t wait to see a pic with one of the new outfits on.
First!!
Love love love the outfits! I hope you missed the smoke in SF!
adorable clothes… makes me wish I had a girl instead of two little boys.
have a great trip!
Those dresses are so adorable! I wish we had shops like that here. Give yourself some credit, she always looks adorable. You’re doing a great job!
kudos to you to take the shopping route – looks like you have great taste in picking out clothes for Madeline.
I have to say – your posts seem less “heavy” these days. I mean that in a good way. I hope it helps to know that so many people, strangers included, are supporting you and checking-in and wishing you well.
I enjoy reading your blog everyday.
see? they DO make cute girl clothes that aren’t all pink!!! seriously cute. your taste is getting better! good job dad!
I would have never guessed she was being dressed by a single dad! And those outfits are ADORABLE! Excellent taste!
Excellent job you’re doing with that gorgeous little girl!
holy cow, those are some cute girl clothes! madeline will look even more beautiful dressed in them, if that’s possible.
matt, your baby girl is so beautiful. i have two dashingly handsome boys in the WI. ever consider an arranged marriage, give me a call.
Great job shopping Matt! I hope you’re having a better day today and a great time in the SF.
sounds like a successful shopping day!
hugs from NJ,
erica and Landon
Matt,
You are such a wonderful daddy, LIZ would be veery proud of you! I only wish i could believe that if i died tomorrow my husband would be able to do what you do, but i know he could never be as fucking awesome as you!! You should be very proud, you are such a great daddy and im sure that you were the best husband ever!!! Im thinking of you two always, lots of hugs for you both. XOXO, tina
I’m waiting to see Madeline in some little Chuck Taylor hightops! That would be so freakin cute to see you two in your coordinated shoes.
I hope your Tuesdays start getting better.
Lots of thoughts and prayers coming your way…
The clothes are soo cute, they just don’t make that kind of adorable stuff for my little guy, shorts and t-shirts are as exciting as it gets for him. Looks like a great store
From the looks of things, you did a great job with the clothes shopping. Although, you could dress the little mite in the bag they came in and she’d still be a gorgeous little doll…
Speaking of gorgeous little dolls, I love, love, LOVE those pics above. She’s conked right out. Makes me want another one…
Love the new outfits…she always looks adorable, you’re doing a great job!!!
Matt,
You are doing such a great job! Shopping for little girls clothes is an addiction of mine and you did pretty good! She will look beautiful in anything you put on her!
Take care,
Debbie
Has she rolled yet?
Good job with the shoping!
Of course, she would look perfect in a paper sack, though. 
When my daughter was little, I bought some little headbands that had interchangeable bows. Not even her dad could mess those up. 
(It still didn’t stop strangers from calling her a boy, but whatever…) Sorry the night was rough. 
I know you don’t talk about religion much, but one thing that always amused me was that when they talk about anguish in the old testament, it is written that the men “tear off their clothing”. You have a lot of shitty anguish in your life, so hey, I’m just proud of you for staying dressed every day. 
hey my husband knows how to dress himself (so do you!!) – yet he would NEVER choose outfits that ADORABLE for our little girl! i am lucky if she is color coordinated. i need her to wear a button that says “dad dressed me”.so i dont get blamed for such non sense.
you are rightfully proud! dressing your girl in amazing clothes is a gift that not everyone attains.
heres to packing at the last min – i leave tommorow and i am not even close to being done!
hope you had fun in the sf.
I continue to read your blog daily. Your strength and love amaze me. You are doing so well and handle everything with such grace and humor. I often find myself wondering…………”what if” and it scares the fucking shit out of me. Your Tuesday post broke my heart. I can’t even imagine. I pray that your “new normal” will get better as time goes on. Find comfort in the fact that the love that you and Liz shared will continue to live on in the beautiful daughter that you made together.
Matt-Ok, just for the record, Madeline has NEVER looked like she was dressed by a father, single or otherwise. Trust me, when my Brother in Law dresses my niece and nephew, it is immediately apparent! I have bought Rowan (my niece) thousands of dollars of clothes over the years, and if my sister is not around, she is dressed in sweatpants and a horrible t-shirt of some sort. These kids end up looking like homeless bums….Fortunately she is getting old enough to pick out her own shit.
You are doing a great job, in every way
cute cute cute.
You should be proud! You are a WONDEFUL dad! Have a good trip!
Btw, Madeline is BEAUTIFUL! just like Liz..
Sending thoughts all the way from Singapore!
I hope you’re watching the game right now with Madeline. I just woke mine up. Sure, she’s only 8 months old, but she needs to see what might possibly happen…
a) madeline must have the most clothes of any baby girl out there ~ between daddy shoppin and the entire world sending her stuff, she’s definitely covered
did you open your plethora of presents sent while you visited the mn?
b) diggin’ the robot monkey shirt you be wearin’. does it have a caption or just the cool ass graphic?
c) hope the flight went well to the sf. thanks for sharing your life with all of us. peace to you and your beautiful baby girl….
I just jinxed it. Fuck.
She always looks great and is growing so much! When you are in SF (I used to live there) try to stop by Hunan Homes in Jackson Street in Chinatown…SO delicious and the owners/servers are hilarious!
Beautiful dresses! Guess what, I’m in the S.F. bay area!
Madelyn is growing so fast!! So pretty!!!
You have awesome taste in clothes!!
i think a lovely mantra that could be-
“i’ve got Madeline.”
sometimes the whirling dervish of fatherhood I am sure you could measure the grit of “rough” parenting off your back.
but hey-
“i’ve got Madeline.”
and.
SHE HAS YOU.
and together you have fatherhood in 3-d.
http://shey.net/reboot/wp-content/uploads/2007/04/fatherhood_3d.jpg
adorable. both of you.
You’re doing a great job in getting Madeline dressed! Believe me if I weren’t around all my kids clothes would probably be ordered off of eBay by my husband. Not to say that’s all bad, but it ain’t always all good either as evidenced by the *lovely* suit he just ordered from there. Also, he never ever thinks about brushing their hair let alone putting pretty clips in my daughter’s hair, pony tails, etc. And last night he clipped my 3.5 year old daughter’s nails for the first time. Till then it had always been done by me. So yes Matt, you’re already light years ahead of my husband and you’re doing a focking awesome job at it too!
PS-love your robot/monkey shirt
)
Not sure what the shop is you’re shopping in, but I wish I had one around the corner from us. Very cute.
Adorable outfits. Last minute packing is the only way to go. Someone just told me that cause I do the same thing. If you wait til the last minute it only takes a minute. I liked that. Have fun.
Miss M is going to Love the photos of her Daddy buying clothes for her. And the dresses are adorable too.
Hi Matt and Madeline,
Madeline is so freaking cute and she is growing so fast!! When my little girl was that age she loved those baby einstein videos and music cd’s, it is so funny to see then listen to the music and watch the video. Congrats on a successful shopping trip!! The dresses you picked out are too cute!! My husband is a terrible shopper and a friend of his from his hometown gave him this advice: while they are babies those everyday outfits that snap at the crotch are soo easy!! and they told him to shop at Gymboree, they have a great staff and everything is already paired so there is no worry about matching. Their website is http://www.gymboree.com and they have great coupons. Also, anything that is smocked looks like a woman dressed her.
Hope you enjoy your trip to the sf!!
Love the pics of you shopping for little girl clothes. Too adorable. The ones in your hands look cute, nice job!
Beautiful sleeping baby pics! I love that mouth-wide-open look! And great job on the outfits–they are gorgeous!!
Your daughter looks good in anything – she is very cute.
Greetings from Pentwater Michigan, where my son the techie has hooked up a blue tooth connection to my new imac!
Gads, Matt….you are amazing as a baby fashionista….before and after the shopping trip. Madeline always looks fabulous, and you know fashion even if you don’t know you do. The new outfits are amazing!
Sending love your way from your No. 1 fan in Illinois!
My husband and my daughter have gone shopping together a couple times a year for quite awhile. This is how he works it- he walks in, tells the ladies that he is shopping with his daughter, they “eat it up” of course! Then they swing into action! I walked in on it one of the last times and there were about 20 outfits for my 12 year old. I said, is any of this on sale? My husband said maybe you should jump in here! My daughter loves shopping with her dad because he always get what she wants whether or not it is on sale. Me however, I am Miss Frugal, I always look for the sales. You can never tell my daughter was dressed by daddy and you can never tell Madeline was dressed by daddy either. You sell your self too short. She is doing a great job. Look in the mirror today and say, “I am doing a damn good job!” You are!
Looks like a successful shopping trip. About the last minute packing….that’s the best way to go otherwise I end up packing too much.
Safe travels.
Nice job on the outfits! Don’t worry when she starts dressing herself in a few years, it won’t really matter what you bought because she is going to mix and match it all together!
I love the sleepy mouth open pictures! As usual, your pictures tell the story – you have a gift!
All parents, single or not, are so proud of you! Traversing the bumpy road of first-time parenthood can be a little crazy. On top of it you are traveling down the unknown road of grief. You have been able to put these two parts of your life together in a way that not many people can. Liz was very lucky to have you – such a wonderful man as a husband and a father. I can imagine that as she watches you and Maddy, she is not surprised at how you are doing. As always thank you for letting us live through this with you. Liz touches so many things that I do throughout everyday. Wishing you a great day!
Hi Matt,
Read your blog everyday, although I am a pretty new stranger, I mean friend. I am amazed at your strength. Madeline is a beautiful baby and is a fortunate little girl to have you in her life.
May I ask, what is the name of that store you were in? I am going up to the LA area in a few weeks after I drop off my sister at UCSB and need to do some shopping for my niece.
Asalamalaykom,
Nothing is more lovely than a new father being ‘fish out of water’ among the cuteness of girldom.
You are doing an AMAZING job! These pictures are precious. I check your site daily and love getting updates on Madeline. She is a beautiful girl, I love those big blue eyes. You should be very proud of yourself!
very cute outfits!! But then, I always think that Madeline looks adorable! Have a wonderful trip up to see awesome auntie deb!!
Hope I’m not crossing any lines in saying this, but Madeline has never looked like she was “dressed by a single dad” (a phrase that, these days, has only the meaning you choose to attach to it anyway). In every picture, she is dressed like a pampered, adored, extremely fortunate little girl — in a way most married OR single moms OR dads couldn’t or wouldn’t dress their children day after day, regardless of whether they have any fashion sense.
So it seems like you’re really implying something else, and that’s where I hope you’re not selling yourself short. If Madeline were wearing a ratty old romper, she wouldn’t stand out as a child who lost her mother….anymore than having a closet full of cool clothes can bring her mom back.
Which isn’t to say she won’t stand out her whole life. I believe she will — but because of her wise eyes, easygoing nature, kind heart, beautiful face, bright smile, worldly perspective, and playful wit. In other words, not her matching bloomers. ANYONE can teach her to how to accessorize. Only YOU can teach her to how to live.
So please don’t sweat that stuff unless you really really enjoy it. Just do what comes naturally to YOU and you’ll be fine, even if it means she wears t-shirts — or even just the same outfit more than once! It’s the love, care, time, and attention you’re providing that truly matters. There’s so very much she has and will have in her life that she wouldn’t have otherwise, and that, despite everything, makes her one lucky, lucky girl.
No words of wisdom, just want to say hey and hope this shitty Tuesday is going ok for you.
*Hugs*
P.S. Fuuuuuuuck Jill
You are picking out great outfits! No matter how many wonderful gifts of clothing Maddy receives from all of your new stranger friends, the most special ones will be the ones you picked out yourself, because you will have not only the clothes but the memory of the shared experience.
Sounds like a good day, but sorry the evening let you down. Glad you have some company there to relieve it. I am probably not the only reader here who is jealous of the fantastic relationship you seem to have with your in-laws…!
Wondering where in the SF you’ll be? Like, IN the SF, or in a burb of the SF? I would so like to meet you and become a stranger friend and buy you a meal, but I live in the Fremont and work in the Redwood City (ask A.A.Deb where they are, if you don’t know). Anyway, not sure you can or will answer to blog comments, but wanted to throw it out there.
I love how you shop for your little girl’s clothes. Awesome, and you have great taste!
Good job on the outfits! You should be proud indeed.
Good outfits I reckon, great first couple of photos.
We are offering free babysitting services should you ever pass this way ;0)
Those outfits are precious!! Good job. I love the sleepy pictures. So cute!
You are doing great at picking out clothes for Madeline..love the dresses! She’s such a doll, I have a picture of my son sleeping on my mom’s shoulder like that when he was about Madeline’s age. Take care you guys and have a great trip to the SF!
~Kelly
@ XBOX, I was just reading some of your blog. I am familair with the crappy boat you and your wife are in. I’m on cycle 11, well tech cycle 18 or so, but we won’t get into THAT. Anyways just wanted to share my term for the Auntie with ya.
Red Headed Slut. Sounds fun to say huh?
Good luck with everything!
Shopping! fun! can’t wait to see pics of Maddy in her new outfits! You’re doing a great job… Liz would be so proud of you! Keep doing what you’re doing! Smile
Great outfits!! Love em, have a great trip to the SF:)
Have a great time in SF! Went there for our honeymoon, and it was love at first sight. Such a great city. Loved Nikko Nikko for sushi. I can’t wait to see the pics that come from this adventure.
Oh, and you dress Maddy perfectly. I would vomit if you only put her in pink velour running suits. Seriously.
You are such a good daddy.
My baby is dressed by me every day but still looks like a ship wreck by 10 AM. How is it possible?
Hanging mannequins = Slightly scary.
Those outfits are awesome and SO cool… you’ve got great taste
Madeline, as always, looks gorgeous in every picture. I don’t have a little girl to shop for, having two boys, so I’ll just have to shop for Madeline instead 
Have fun in the SF !!!!!
I’m sure you’ve been already, but just in case, you must go to Giant Robot on Haight (off of Haight actually but it’s “in” the Haight like a block from Amoeba) when you come up. We were there about 2 weeks ago and I totally thought of you and Madeline. I wanted to get her something but they don’t carry what I wanted (I’m not telling you either because I am determined to find it for her and it will be super cool!).
Have a great visit! We’re having great weather this week, at least for now.
Matt-
Love the dresses you picked out for Maddie – I’m jealous, I never had a little girl, two boys who are now 21 and 17 and would NEVER let me pick out their clothes!
Take it one day at a time, you are doing an incredible job. Know that no matter how much time passes, you will never lose Liz, she is part of you and Maddy.
love and hugs from the MN.
wow, she gets cuter every single day!
and my kids are always dressed like slobs. Just like their mother.
maybe you can go shopping for us?
She always looks great but I do love those new little dresses with the matching bloomers (do you call them bloomers in the US? I can’t remember – when I lived there I didn’t have much need for babies bloomers). Have a lovely trip – flying on your own with a baby gets easier. Mine is now 2 1/2 and knows the drill off by heart. Mind you, she has the iTouch to keep her happy…
There is nothing cuter than a sleeping baby! She’s precious and you are doing an excellent job. Love your robot shirt *thumbs up*. Hope you’re having an okay Tuesday.
Hugs.
I was just tuned into your blog by a good friend of mine (PamB) and I started reading with Maddys Birth day. and have not been able to stop reading all day unless I was interupted by work! WTF!
What a journey you are on! My deepest sympathies to you and your well dressed babe’. My your Terrible Tuesdays turn into Terrific Tuesdays soon. Best wishes and hugs to you both. marci
I have been following your blog, and as a woman who lost her mother and was raised by a single Dad, you are really doing an amazing job. I went on to study human development and family studies as an adult, doing research on single father families, so I can say with certainty, Dads’ can and do raise their daughters just fine.
I find it so interesting that you are so aware of what she wears…. I have told my husband since we had our daughter that he was not allowed to shop for her if something happend to me, he had to give money to one of my very stylish friends to make sure my baby looked cute all the time. Goood Job Matt, you are a good dad!
awesome dresses.. but just wait til she turns 5 and tells you that a princess doesn’t wear pants (this in the dead of winter in New England) and that she doesn’t want to be a kind or a prince and won’t wear jeans with the temp below 20 degrees… oohhh wait, you won’t have to worry aobut that… lucky!!
It’s Tuesday and I just wanted to let you know that I’m thinking of you. Hoping today sucks less than past ones.
I’ve spent the last 13 weeks *with* you and Madeline, waking up each Tuesday sharing your sadness and hoping that you make it through the day with as few punches to the gut as possible.
I woke up this morning and decided that instead of being sad, I was going to think of something awesome about Liz and focus on that. Funny right, considering I’ve never even met her…
So today my thought was about how effing amazing it is that even after her death, she’s continued to make friends and bring people together (shout out my fellow creeps).
Daily, I am inspired by and in awe of what an incredible person she was. Thank YOU Matt, for sharing her with all of us.
*hugs* to you and Madeline.
p.s. LOVE the outfits you selected. So freakin’ cute
@katie j, you are such a sweetie.
Lovely photos of Madeline sleeping. She looks loved, content and adorable. Not only did you pick out cute outfits, she’ll actually wear them. It won’t be long before she looks at you and informs you, “I no like that, Daddy.” Good luck saying no to her!
@Katie J, I couldn’t have said it any better.
I was just commenting to my creepy friends today about how amazing your network of support is. Matt, Liz and Madeline have touched peoples lives all around the world. I know you have made me a better person and I thank you for that everyday.
Your daughter gets dressed by a guy with really great taste!!
You have awesome taste in girly clothes! Way to go!
Matt —
Are you kidding? Madeline ALWAYS looks fabulous! You’re doing such a great job — every father should aspire to be one ounce of what you are to Madeline. Liz is/would be so proud of you.
AAAAACK! It is taking everything I have to not peek ahead at the flickr pix right now! AAAAACK!
@ Kate. Just click the photos. There are a TON of new awesome ones!
DO IT. DO IT.
Madeline is SO beautiful. What a precious baby girl. You are doing a remarkable job! You pick out girl clothes better than I do and I have 3 girls!!!
Love your perspective in your photography.
God bless,
Kathy
Hey Matt, I haven’t commented in a while but I still check in most days. I love the little outfits, you’re doing such a good job of dressing your daughter!
Keep well, Jo
matt! are you shopping at baby gap??? : )
super cute dresses.
wanted to comment on the last post about all of the ideas for what to do with all of madeline’s mommy’s things. i agree that you shouldn’t rush the packing. when both my dad and grandmother died things were saved and gotten rid of and invariably some of those things were sorely missed, so really wait until you are ready. i do love the idea of letting madeline play dress up with some of it–i used to do that with my mom’s stuff–just think of how much fun she’ll have with those shoes! you are doing such a great job with her and one day she’s going to understand what an amazing mom she had and how blessed she is to have the father that she does have! hope this tuesday was a little less jarring. you’ll never miss liz any less, but eventually you won’t want to puke every time one rolls around.
@Christa: It’s 1:10 pm, PST, and so far I have resisted sneaking a peek at the flickr set! SMELL the self-restraint, People!!! Eye of the Tiger, Baby!
Your t-shirt reminds me of a song that always cracks me up. “Monkey vs. Robot”
I wish I knew the artist. I’d send you a copy of the song.
Hi Matt . . . You don’t know me, but I wanted to let you know that you are in my prayers. I found your blog through a fellow photographer friend. I have sat here for the past 2 hours reading from the very beginning – completely saddened by what you have gone through! If you don’t mind the intrusion, please email me your mailing address – I’d love to send something to Maddy.
Enjoy every single day with your beautiful baby girl, and know that Liz is smiling down on yall from Heaven.
Be blessed,
Robin
I think Madeline has a fabulous wardrobe…she always has such cute little outfits on! Good job Matt!!
if you don’t post about last thursday until this thursday, and then continue on that way, creating a parallel dimension where it’s both last week and this week at the very same time, can the universe fold in on itself?
just wondering. science was never my strong suit.
@em: You have slain me with that remark!!! LOL! I do believe he’s creating a rift in the time/space continuum, which can only be repaired by a swift kick to the ion-flux capacitor. Am I mixing my SF metaphors? Oh well.
I fold. I’m gonna go look at the flickr pix now.
Miss M just seems to be changing by the second! So adorable and looks just like her mama! Love the dresses- enjoying the matching while you can. I still try to buy cute outfits for my girls- but they pick the craziest stuff out to wear. It makes me laugh though. I pick my battles and clothing (for the most part) isn’t one them. Blessings to you both!
Matt,
I’m a Minnesota “stranger” who checks in with you and precious little Madeline each day. I was sorry to read in the newspaper this morning about your grandfather. Sending lots of thoughts and prayers for you, your baby, Liz, and your grandpa.
I just had to take the time to tell you what you must already know. Madeline is absolutely beautiful.
I read your blog almost daily and I just get a pit in my stomach. I’m so damn sorry. THIS shouldn’t be happening to you. To Madeline.
You’re doing an amazing job…being the dad she needs. You sometimes write as if you’re bumbling your way through but please know that this experienced mom thinks you are doing a kickass job. Seriously.
No parent does any of this perfectly but the ones who love and care for their child like you do come damn close. Hang in there. I hope you have a pleasant night.
Maddy (Madeline)
a new resident of South Carolina
i saw a dump truck driving this morning with something written on the back of it. tried to take a pic because i thought it was funny. didn’t work, so i’ll just leave you with the phrase and you do with it what you will. “start your day with a good dump”. i’m like a middle school boy with my sense of humor with body parts and bodily functions. sorry. hope it maybe got a chuckle out of ya. hope you and madeline have a fabulous thursday.