(some of the photos are showing up as links…will fix later).
i need to catch
myself up.
not for anyone, just for me.
hard living in the
past. the current is
where i need to be
(or at least only one or two days in the past).
remarkable things have
happened over the past few days.
(more on that later).
thursday, july 3rd.
madeline got a bath
and a fancy outfit
for her trip to the sf.
excited for the trip,
but sad that
liz
isn’t going to be with us.
we had been there
once before,
a few years ago.
had an amazing time.
it will be hard
to be happy without
her.
i placed madeline in the sling
made for a newborn.
she seemed comfortable,
but she’s getting a
little big so i
brought along the babyhawk,
just in case.
we had a relatively uneventful
flight, madeline crying
for a short time.
no one seemed to
care. she still
has that cute, newborn
baby cry.
sat next to a woman
who asked the momma
question. surprised her
with my answer
(no surprise there).
she complimented
me for stepping up.
thanks.
landed in the sf.
and realized that i’d
forgotten a critical
piece of madeline’s bottle,
the piece that creates a seal.
i got soaked by the
formula as i shook the bottle.
trying to feed her
would be impossible,
the formula would pour
all over her.
fuck.
(there goes that father of the year award).
she’s going to have to
wait until we get to
awesome auntie deb’s place.
she passed out
as soon as she landed
in the carseat in the
back seat of the rental car
so everything was okay.
arrived at our destination
rather quickly and hooked
madeline up with
her bottle of white.
after getting a tour of
awesome auntie deb’s apartment,
we went to dinner
at a restaurant
in her neighborhood.
later, the g. grandparents
watched madeline so
deb and i could meet
auntie angel fan and her friends
for a drink or two.
then the bastard showed up
and we listened to his
tales of life
on the road with some frogs.
after a couple of hours
we headed home, ready
for a nap.
friday, july 4th.
the next morning we got up
and walked around
awesome auntie deb’s neighborhood,
then headed back to her
place to get ready
for madeline’s trip
to at&t park
to see her national league
team take on their
enemies.
third baseball game,
third stadium.
(liz would be so proud).
madeline immediately felt
at home,
meeting some fellow dodger
fans outside the stadium.
headed inside
and enjoyed some outdoor baseball
in some great seats.
met up with
stranger friend, karyn
who brought her sister
to the game.
they came down
to meet madeline and
ended up sitting
with us the rest
of the game.
i fed and changed madeline
(no troughs in the bathroom at this park).
the grandparents and deb
got to hold madeline
deb got bored
(or tired).
had a great time,
and madeline’s team
won again
(3 for 3 now).
after the game we
headed back to
deb’s place
on the muni.
later that night,
we met auntie chandra
for dinner.
too many tears in
my eyes.
after sharing
stories and memories of
liz.
felt good to talk about
her.
went back to
awesome auntie deb’s place,
went to bed pretty early.
too tired.
saturday, july 5th.
woke up to the
news that my grandpa,
my mom’s dad
died today.
a great man,
a great life.
87 years.
now this.
got a chance to see
him one last time
on my last
trip to the mn.
he met madeline,
and some of his grandkids
got to have a little
scotch with the man
who always had
a story to share.
we’ll all miss him.
the g. grandparents
knew i was upset,
they suggested we go
to amoeba in the sf
for a little therapy.
madeline helped
me shop, though i’m
not sure she liked
my choices.
after amoeba we
walked up the street,
laughing as i photographed
a guy wiping his dog’s ass
kept walking and found
a store that required
a visit.
bought nothing,
but found a way to smile.
later, madeline got hungry
and was fed
by grandma candee
in the back seat of
our parked car.
i stood in the middle
of the street,
taking some photos.
after madeline burped,
we across a very foggy
golden gate bridge,
stopping long enough
to take a few photos.
then we went to sausalito
for a little sea side lunch.
finished lunch
and headed back across
a not so foggy
golden gate bridge
to deb’s apartment
to get ready for
madeline’s first wine
and cheese party.
everyone was there,
lots of deb’s friends,
new friend karyn,
old friend kate
(who brought her friend christian),
the bastard,
and stranger friend (and photographer)
pam took some photos
of madeline, who
decided that she needed
a bit more rest
before joining her guests.
when she finally emerged,
madeline moved from person
to person with
the kind of ease
the makes her my
favorite baby of all-time.
meeting deb’s friends was
really cool,
meeting pam was awesome,
and hanging out with
other friends
both new and old was
exactly what i needed
to keep my mind
off of everything.
the party ended
and the g. grandparents
offered to once again
watch madeline while
i went out
for a little daddy time.
six of us headed to
a bar of deb’s choosing
and we had
a great time.
i met lots of new
friends at the bar
and smiled a lot
(a byproduct of the wine).
while hanging out with
the the five folks
who came here with me.
headed back to deb’s
a little later
than i expected,
finding madeline asleep in
the awake arms of
the g. grandparents.
said goodbye to them
and went to sleep
long enough
for madeline to get
hungry again.
sunday, july 6th.
woke up with madeline
after what seemed
like 15 minutes,
and gave her a bottle,
smiling at her
the whole time.
(now one of the remarkables)
it’s then that i realized
that madeline’s becoming
more and more vocal,
making noises
i’ve never heard from
her.
spending so much time
alone with her
has given me the
ability to learn
more than i could
have ever imagined
about how madeline
communicates with the
people around her.
these little noises,
they’re exciting.
not long after
we decided to take
madeline for a little
walk to a park
near the home
of awesome auntie deb,
(another remarkable)…
madeline is holding
her head up!
not completely, but it
stays up way longer
than it ever has before.
this, combined with
the fact that
she barely fits
into her little girl sling,
i realized it was
time for a sling built
for a bigger girl
who wants
to stare at something
other than her father
we walked up the street
and found a shady spot
in the park.
a couple of deb’s
friends stopped by
to see madeline
grow a palm tree
from her head,
while daddy hiked
up the hill to take some
shots of the city.
later, we headed back to
awesome auntie deb’s place,
madeline’s oversized sun hat
blowing off of her head
with each gust
of wind.
madeline, deb and i took
a little nap before
packing up, saying goodbye
and heading for the airport.
madeline slept
almost the entire way
made it to our
gate with plenty of
time to spare thanks
to a delayed aircraft.
hung out with madeline on
my lap, moving from sleeping
to waking
to fully awake
as the folks
around her commented on
her beauty.
and then it happened.
(another remarkable)
she laughed at me.
a true, audible laugh
combined with one
of the cutest smiles
i’ve ever seen.
an exciting moment
for me,
but i know its
one of a billion
moments i know
liz
will never witness,
one of a billion moments
i’ll get excited
about all by myself.
at least this time
i had
liz’s
parents with me to enjoy
the moment.
got on the plane,
madeline deciding that
all that smiling
and laughing
should be followed
by a shitload of crying
and screaming.
the people nearby gave this
single dad lots of
advice, apparently thinking
that i’d be able
to control they noise.
no choice.
madeline straight hated this flight.
good thing it was only
an hour-long.
we landed and madeline
went silent.
perfect timing.
picked up our luggage
and our car,
seeing that weird looking
looking blond lady from tmz tv
(you know who i’m talkng about).
dropped the g grandparents
off at their hotel
and headed back to our
empty house
for a well-deserved
night of sleep
monday, july 7th.
happy 15/52 week birthday, madeline!
woke up early
and picked up the g. grandparents
from their hotel,
dropped them off at
the house before
heading to the doctor
(for me this time).
learned that the stress
will keep me out of
work for at least
another 4-6 weeks.
went back to the house
to hang with the grandparents
before they head
back to the mn.
had lots of plans, but ultimately
i convinced them
to hang out on the couch
with us before heading to lunch.
had a great lunch then
went to the lax
to send the family home.
madeline and i went home
and rested
the rest of the day.
j. wu visited
with some burgers
and gift from a coworker
and i later fell asleep
on the couch
with my favorite daughter.
136 Comments
Sounds like you had a great time. Love the pictures. I am sure when she get’s older she will appreciate all the time you put into keeping this for her. It’s lovely.
great post(s)!
let me know if you ever want to visit baltimore, i can get some great tickets for you. want to continue madeline’s tour of ballparks throughout the country!
and i love the picture of the beer, bottle, and wine. awesome.
glad you had a great trip, madeline is as precious as ever!
Wow that was a heck of novel and I loved reading every word and seeing every picture. How exciting to hear that first laugh. Just wait til the non-stop giggling starts. Oh my that must be one of the best sounds on earth.
Love love love the pic of the two of you headed to the airport. She asleep, you holding her head with your “ringed” fingers and dare I say a smile (or a smerk) on your face. You look relaxed (or exhausted)
Wow, I was first and I wasn’t even trying. Woo Hoo for me!
I never get over how much I admire your strength. You are a wonderful father. And I’m sitting here crying at work over Madeline laughing at/for you! Isn’t it the best feeling in the world.
Thank you for sharing with us.
Jenn
Wow, that was a lot to catch up on. I’m so sorry to hear about your Grandfather. I’m glad he got to meet Madeline and you got to hang out with him recently while back home.
That picture of Madeline laughing and smiling is great! I’m so glad you were able to capture it on film…hooray!
And lastly…I did that same thing you did with forgetting a bottle piece. Happened when my daughter was 3 months old too and by the time I realized it, which was when she was hungry of course, I was half way around a big ass lake. There was no calming her down and I felt like an idiot and shittty Mom and ended up running with her all the way back to the car. Took me a good 40 minutes I think. Then, just like Madeline, she passed out as soon as I got her back to the car and in her carseat. So don’t feel like you’re the only one out there that does stuff like that. It happens.
Enjoy this time with her while you’re away from work. May the days ahead be easy on you!
Matt, so glad you had a great time in the s.f., and with family. I have to say, the onesie over the pants at the airport cracked me up!
Madeline is so beautiful – so happy that you got that first laugh!
What a fun trip!
So sorry about your Grandpa.
HOLA MATT!
Do I reach the PODIUM? AT LEAST THE third place?
Great POST! Maddy is AMAZINGLY big and beautiful! BIG BIG SMILE for the last pic!
You are a great DAD and doing an amazing job, full of unforgettable personal experiences!
It was very relief to know that you are going to have 4-6 weeks more with your baby! You both deserves MORE time together!!!
HAVE A NICE DAY
xoxo (besos y abrazos!)
Sol
matt, what a wonderful post to wake up to this morning! thak you again for sharing yours and madeline’s world with us (punctuation?) it looks like you had a good weekend all around, with some sad moments. i am sorry to hear about your grandfather – i just lost my grandmother and it hit me harder than i thought it would. i continue to think about you and maddy all the time (with a prayer here and there
and hope at that moment you are doing ok.
p.s. VERY SOrry about your grandpa.
I’ve been an avid loyal reader but never commented. I had to comment though on the new sounds, laughs, and head lifts Madeline is giving you. My son was born March 19th and has begun showing those same amazing things. In the big scheme of things in the world at large, a coo and a laugh from my baby or him holding his head up long enough and smiling at me are small things, but to me it’s like finding the cure for cancer – miraculous. I know you feel the same way about Madeline.
I’m sorry to hear about your grandfather.
Your travels exhaust me! I can’t believe you are even thinking about going back to work in 4-6 weeks! WOW!
You are such an AWESOME parent!!! I’ve been a home daycare provider for almost 20 years and I’ve NEVER EVER seen a dad step up like you have or take care of a baby like you have. Don’t sweat the small stuff. When our kids were babies we used the Playtex bottles with liners. I can’t tell you how many times that instead of setting the timer on our microwave for 30 seconds, I set it for 3 MINUTES and then forgot about it only remembering that I had a bottle in there when the plastic liner exploded. Of course, the baby was screaming for food. We all do crazy stuff and they all survive to become annoying teenagers. Of course, Madeline won’t be annoying. She’s just so damned cute!!
Susan
Sorry to hear about your grandfather. That is tough, I am glad you got one last moment with him on your last trip!
Your little girl is growing up! So sweet, those babies laughs. They really are the best.
Hi there! I’m just a stranger who is touched by your story and enjoys reading about your beautiful little girl.
I just thought of another enticement to get you over here. An automatic 3 years paternity leave with Madeline! (with pay!!) Think of all the fun you two would have together hanging out, touring around, taking pics, etc.
OK, I’ll duck out now before all the Minnesota and LA people start throwing things at me virtually.
A honest to goodness laugh!! Is there a better sound in the world? The picture of Madeline smiling/laughing is precious.
I don’t know why, but until these photos I never really saw the resemblance between Liz and Deb. Wow. I’m so glad that along with the best dad ever, Madeline has a very special and awesome aunt to help her get to know her Mom.
I’m sorry to hear about your grandfather.
And finally, I have to say that I’m almost relieved to hear that Madeline had a tough flight home. Don’t get me wrong. I’ve just never known a baby who can go to restaurants, fly and be passed around without making a single peep. It’s good that she has a little bit of spunk and will let you know when she is unhappy. I like spunk!
Madeline really doesn’t look like a newborn at all anymore. She is beautiful. Way to go, Dad.
Your photography is awesome and, along with your words, tells the story so perfectly.
Thanks for sharing your words and your photos.
Hi Matt,
I’ve been reading forever, but never commented. but today’s was hard for me to read, I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your grandfather. I too lost mine last week he was 88. It sucks.
Thanks for all your precious stories with Madeline! I’m going to be having my own Madison in a few short weeks, and its so fun to watch the prgress of beautiful little Miss M. You are doing a wonderful job.
I’m so glad I got to meet your Grandpa in November on the same day I met you and Liz. I know he will be missed so much and I am so sorry for you and the family. He is in a better place, with Liz, and he is comfortable now. Thanks for sharing all your news. There is nothing more therapeutic than baby laughter : ) It makes me so happy just thinking about it, and I LOVE the pic of maddie smiling so big in her crazy outfit! Take care Matt. Thinking of you and Maddie every day : )
Matt, I know you hear this all the time, but I have to say it again … Madeline is so beautiful. Your photos are fabulous. She’s a lucky little girl to have you.
I am so sorry about your grandfather. we are praying for you as always.
P.s. Miss M- I think you are cute – and you got me smiling!
so little Miss M. was pissed she had to leave AADeb’s place and cried the whole way back home huh? Well, that will teach you – she wanted to hang out and have more fun – not that you guys don’t have fun filled adventures regardless of what part of the country you are in! So very sorry about your grandpa Matt – will be thinking of you and your family as you deal with this loss ~ As always – thanks for sharing your fantastic photos with us – the bridge pics are AMAZING!! I’ll be asking for the same camera you have for Christmas this year – though I’m not sure I have the same skills you have – Here’s to an enjoyable day – and more giggles from that little girl of yours – there is truly nothing better in the world than hearing that laugh – and just you wait – soon she will be doing that deep down belly laugh! I love those so much I CRY! when I hear them!
hugs from the MN
Okay so I’m not first, I should have known not to get excited. But I guess being 3rd is like getting the bronze metal of posting.
Asalamalaykom,
May your Grandfather be accepted and any of his faults forgiven.
We don’t say “sorry” in Islam for someone passing. It’s very matter-of-fact, which threw me off at first. We say some words from the Quran which mean, “From Allah we come and to Allah we return.”
I think that it must be hard to have another person leave you. For that hardness, I am sorry.
Matt, I am having one hell of a hard day. Reality has banged me on the head and forced me to find strength that I don’t want to have.
And reading you today has made me cry for knowing that you have to do the same thing. And you do. You and Madeline are an awesome team and you both gain from each other.
That’s what my little one and I will have to do today and for years to come. There will be tears and upset, but laughter and screaming, and strangers (and sometimes screaming from strangers) and memories that suck, and memories that calm. And I don’t really want to be alone, but I guess I’m not.
It’s too early to call Minnesota. So I’m writing to you, even though I don’t know you. Thanks for living and doing your best. Guess I’m off to do the same.
Great times Matt!! Isn’t that first REAL smile and giggle the best!!! It can turn any day around.
Sorry to hear about your grandpa.
I can’t believe how expressive Madelaine is getting. Enjoy the laughs, they only get better!
By the way, I am so sorry to hear about your grandpa. What a wonderful treat to be able to see him and he to meet Madeline before he passed away. I hope that your mom is doing ok . . .
the smiles, both yours and your little lady’s, are truly truly heartwarming.
I love calling the formula the “bottle of white”! It sounds so much more enjoyable too. If you can stand one more piece of advice though, try lowering your baby carrier down just a bit; so if you tipped your head down, you would kiss the top of Madeline’s. Oh yes, the carrier is fabulous too, especially combined with the adorable hat!
What a fun post to read! Madeline is getting even more beautiful with time and I love the look she gave you in the CD store.
Sorry to hear about your grandfather.
Matt, Sorry about your Grandfather. I have been reading your blog for about a month now, have never commented. I love reading about how Madeline is growing. Your comment about her laughing made me cry at my desk at work. You are a great Dad!
You are both in my prayers every day. Thanks for sharing your life with us.
What was the birthday gift this week?????
Matt ~ so much to say:
First, selfishly, thank you for catching me up on your life. I’ve hated being so far behind.
I’m so sorry about the loss of your grandfather. I lost both of mine way to early in life and often wish I’d had them longer to just talk to them.
I’m soooo excited you got your first laugh along with that great big, beautiful smile. She is gorgeous. I don’t have to tell you that but every day she gets bigger and prettier and her personality is really beginning to shine through. She will get more and more fun as the days pass!
Last ~ you are seriously asking for an ass whoopin’ with those bathroom shots. They crack me up every single time!
Try to rest a little over the next 4-6 weeks and take care of yourself too
Hugs from IN
matt, i’m sorry to hear about your grandfather. but i’m so glad you got to spend some time with him a few weeks ago (and a shot with some old stories is the best way to spend time with grandparents!).
the new pics of you guys are great. my favorite is the airport one as well with the rings, maddy, & your smile/smirk/whatever it is! her face is just so darn adorable. she’s so animated! you will never forget her first little laugh. man that’s the best! her laughter will just keep getting better & better!
you guys are such a great pair!!
one last thing—-could you please come back to the mn & take her to every twins game? they could use her good luck right now!
awwww matt i’m so sorry to hear about your grandpa. my grandma just passed away, in fact her services are this saturday. makes me feel better to know that since she can’t be with us, at least she gets to watch over us with my grandpa, my dad and all my other relatives that have passed on. hope you and your family are doing ok. love those first baby laughs. the little cutie pie is adorable in her big floppy hat. good job dad!!!
OK wait- a few things.
#1 the laughter and smiles only get better. I’ve never experienced anything like it. It makes my heart sing
#2 why is the bastard named the bastard? do tell…
#3 you are a much more prepared father than I a mother. I *always* forget the sunhat!
#4 in.love.with. Madeline’s deep purple onesie at the beginning (or end, I can’t figure it out) the one with the bright yellow mum. who makes it? i want one for my little lady.
#5 you inspire me
Matt,
So sorry to hear about your grandfather. You take the best pictures. I probably will never make it to California, but I get to see it through your eyes. The picture of the bottle with the empty wine glasses was funny.
The first smiles and laughs are the best. My daughter is doing the same. Even though she is my 3rd, I can’t get enough of them.
Matt you are doing an amazing job. You put alot of mothers and fathers to shame. Madeline has been blessed with a very special father.
Take care,
Debbie
OHHHHH…. Just the thought of that precious infant laugh makes my uterus ache!!!!
Maddy looks just beautiful in her san fran pics. I love the outfit at the end of the post, how cute are you to put the onsie on the outside. You can just see her personality shining through in those pics. I hope all is wonderful for you and the beautiful babe this week!
OMG, she laughed! That’s awesome!
I have to say, first laugh is right up there with first steps, in my opinion, as far as firsts go.
I’m very sorry for the loss of your grandfather.
Matt – so sorry to hear about your grandfather. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Loved hearing about Madeline’s first real laugh. I can still recall when Zoe laughed for the first time – it’s so awesome! Just wait for the belly laugh – it will make you cry tears of joy!
Be well! Hugs from a stranger friend!
Jen and Zoe in the MN
Aaaaah! I was missing you and Madeline! Awesome post Matt… Thanks! I’ve been reading it over and over again.
Madeline looks stunning! STUNNING!
I thought you should know that Madeline is, in fact, adorable. You might wonder because you are her daddy and therefore biased. But I don’t know her at all, and I think she is deliciously cute and already a bit sassy, what with some of her facial expressions while you take her picture. Thank you for the marvelous update. Just wait until she belly laughs.
I’m very sorry for your grandfather’s passing.
Peace to you.
I’ve been following your blog for a few months, but can’t remember if I have commented or not. This SF post just got me out of lurkdome. I love that city! Plus…my sis is an usher along the 3rd base side, so you might have sat in her section at the game.
I am sorry about your grandfather. I am also very sorry for the loss of Liz. I never met her or you, but I am sure she would be proud of the great job you are doing with Madeline! She is just precious!
Matt, I’m sorry about your grandfather. Now Madeline will have yet another guardian angel watching over her.
I think the Baby Hawk will help her strengthen her neck muscles pretty quickly, so I’m sure she soon will be holding her head up even more than she is now!
well Matt, first off, I’m so sorry about your grandfather. At least he did get to meet Madeline and that is a moment I’m sure, even though she won’t remember it, she will treasure when she’s older. My son just recently met his only living great grandfather who lives a world away in Brazil. He won’t remember it, but I have the pictures to prove it, I’m only hoping he’ll get to see him again.
second, the noises and iggles are the BEST aren’t they! I have so many videos on my blog and on youtube of my little boy giggling. Baby laughs are te most heart warming, stress-relieving sound in the world. Liz saw that giggle. No doubt.
third, i’m glad you get to stay home with Madeline for another 4-6 weeks. If I win the lottery I’ll send you a check so you can stay home with Madeline until she’s a teenager and she starts slamming doors.
hugs from NJ,
erica and Landon
apparently I can’t spell while drinking coffee. sorry
erica, Landon and my coffee
I too love the laughing pic! Your pictures and words tell such an awesome story. I am certainly not glad you are stressed, but am glad you get to spend another 4-6 of quality time the the Madster before surrendering her to daycare. Its such an awesome time. (dont let her wear the onesie on the outside in daycare lest the other 5 month olds make fun of her) j/k lol.
Sorry about your grandfather, but I am glad he got to meet Maddy and he lived such a full life. Liz is in some great company.
(big hugs) Have a really fun day!
Matt – i love the picture of your grandpa with all you boys. what another fond memory you have. sorry for your loss and hugs to you and your mom.
isn’t it amazing how fast these little people of ours change and how each milestone blows our mind more than the last? she is a doll!
as always, take care and hugs!!
My condolences on your Grampa. He sounds like a rocking good man. Glad you got the time in with him and the scotch. Also, amazing that the service was held at the Hopkins Fire House. My son went to school next door to that, and it’s a wonderful building. I hope it was a nice service. BTW, her first laugh?????? Are you kidding????? I’m so glad Liz’s parents were there to see that. Hmmm, I guess Liz continues to pull all the strings, huh?
Love the at long last giant catch-up!! How cute is her onesie in that last picture??!! Laughing and smiling are the reasons that 2 a.m., 3 a.m., 4 a.m. and 5 a.m. (can you tell what kind of night I had last night?) wakings are in the end okay! So glad you are hanging in there, having some fun, enjoying your beautiful girl and finding reasons to smile each day!
OK…I think my all-time fav photo of you is in this post! It’s the one of you & M on the train, where she’s sleeping with her head to the side, and you have your hand on her, and you’re smiling. You can see your ring and Liz’s, and it’s just a straight fucking awesome picture! I don’t know why I like it so much, but it just made me smile.
Yay for her first laugh!! That’s so awesome!
It’s great that you got to hear it, too. If only the one person you wanted to hear it with were there…Damn…Almost perfect….
I’m submitting my request…She needs to do the laugh again, and you need to be fully prepared with video camera in-hand.
Matty is really starting to look her age now, before today reading your blog I always thought she looked so much younger, always having that newborn look about her. Your doing a great job and she is lucky to have you.
Sorry to hear about your grandfather. I love the first laugh. I love every laugh after the first. All of my kids have beautiful laughs but my youngest son has the most heartfelt laugh. He laughs from the bottom of his soul. None of the other kids laugh like that. It melts my heart. Just treasure the laughs.
*hugs* to you and Madddy.
What a great post. I’m so glad we’re caught up! Pretty much! And you look just fantastic in these pix. This is probably the best I’ve seen you look since I got here in March.
I’m sorry about Grandpa. I’m sooooo happy he was having scotch and not apple juice, and am confident that contributed to his longevity. My first thought when I heard about his passing is that he must’ve borne witness to an awful lot of tragedy in his years. Is that negative, or just realistic? I dunno.
@Kathryn in the Deutschland: are you fucking kidding us?! THREE YEARS OFF?! For the DAD?! That’s even better than Sverige! I think… Isn’t it?
Matt,
Looks like you and Madeline had a wonderful trip! You are both looking happier and healthier. The pics of M are breathtaking!!! She is quite a world traveler and baseball fan already — we’re all proud of her for being the best baby ever — and you for taking such good care of her, for letting all us “creepy” stranger friends share your story. Thanks again!
Thanks, too, for the pic of the guy wiping his dog’s ass. Hmmmm. I guess it’s not so bad wiping a three year old who refuses to use the toilet. I could have it worse…..
M’s first laugh. The world’s best sound isn’t it? They say a picture can say a thousand words. Wonder if a laugh and a smile can heal a thousand wounds. They are so tiny — and make us love so big.
Thinking of you two, again, today.
I’ve been reading your posts since your story of Liz and Madeline began. I haven’t left a comment because for the most part I am speechless.
But today, I have to tell you Matt, you are a wonderful person and daddy.
Liz … she is so damn proud of you and all you are doing.
Amazing, simply amazing.
Matt – I’m smiling because I think she is cute!! (just like her onesie says!!)
So good to read all the posts and what you have been doing. Really great also to see you smiling. Honestly it warms my heart, just as I am sure Madeline laughing warms yours!!
I’m so sorry for the loss of your grandfather. He sounds like a wonderful man. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
Here is hoping for many more good days. As always thinking of you and Madeline here in the MN.
AH! So glad you had fun in the SF. I kept hoping to run into you guys. I think you and Madeline need to go to more Dodger games – they might make it over .500 with you two around.
Hi Matt-
Sorry about your grandfather. I’m glad you were able to see him when you were in the MN. I love the new pics of Maddy. I wish we could hear her little laugh. I know when my son laughs, I instantly laugh too.
Shit, what a roller coaster for you. My sympathies on the loss of your grandpa. I’m glad you have good memories of the last time you saw him. Thankfully he got to meet Maddy. That must have made his day.
You make me miss San Francisco! I was only there once, but there was so much I didn’t see. Someday I’ll be back.
I think we’re going to need audio clips of Miss Madeline laughing soon. Keep that in mind.
Sounds like a fantastic few days there!
The laugh had to be one of the biggest highlights.
And now, I have to go back through, and use your lessons for our own. Our little one was born July 4th!
We’re so gonna need help figuring this out.
Why didn’t they include a manual?
Loved all the pictures. I love San Francisco it is one of my favorite places to visit.
I’m so sorry about your grandfather. It is wonderful that he got to meet Madeline and you will be able to tell her about that later.
Take care of yourself.
Haven’t posted in a while but I’ve been watching you guys (not in a creepy way tho, promise). Matt she is so so beautiful! Those smiles, those REAL smiles… god she’s a heartbreaker isn’t she? You’re only at the start of remarkable… enjoy every second.
Sorry about your G-pa. What a great memory of the last time you saw him– you and the brothers sipping on scotch at the wedding.
My fav. pic. of this post is the one of Madeline in the Babyhawk on the way to the airport. Her face is covered up and you are on the phone! Was she sleeping or was the Babyhawk just swallowing her?!?!?
Keep up the awesome job, you still get the father of the year award in my book!!
OK, I have been reading your blog since your very first posting on StarTrib. I have followed every post but clearly haven’t paid attention. I always thought AADeb was your sister! But sheesh. She is a spitting image of Liz but with short brown hair. Can’t believe I missed that. I think I have a crush on AADeb. She is amazing.
I am sorry to hear about your grandfather. You are in my thoughts as always. Glad he met Madeline.
Also as someone else noted – the purple onesie is GORGEOUS! But the pants really do belong on the outside
You are an amazing father. Can I drop my 3 yr old off with you? She’s pretty cute.
Matt – I am sorry to hear about your grandfather. Madeline gets cuter every day – - I believe that Awesome Auntie Deb is Liz’s sister – - They have the same smile – the kind that lights up a room.
There aren’t many things that are better than having your baby laugh and smile at you. Really one of the best things in the world. I never get tired of it. It is very exciting that Madeline is holding her head and growing so well. You are doing a great job!
So sorry to hear about your grandfather. Glad you got to have that scotch with him in MN.
A friend and I were watching Finding Nemo yesterday and she commented, “this reminds me of Matt.” Yes, we talk about you and Madeline as if we know you!
Here I am, another avid reader and first time commenter and I have to thank you for sharing your experiences with us. My husband is in the military, currently deployed, and I’ve always taken our lives for granted (yeah, even when he’s at war). My eyes have been opened, thanks to you.
You have a profound effect on a lot of lives Matt. Don’t stop doing what you’re doing. Madeline is a beautiful little girl, a perfect mixture of you and Liz. And Liz, every time I see a picture of her I get tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat. I am so angry for what happened to her. Here I am, going through the grieving process for someone I never knew.
You are a wonderful man, husband, and father. God Bless you!
I’m also sorry for the loss of your grandfather…
Chris; Ft Drum, NY
All that tummy time is really paying off! It seems like overnight our little ones are suddenly doing new tricks. That is great that Madeline is holding her head up now and smiling and laughing. She is really filling out and getting chubby cheeks! I’m sorry to hear about your Grandfather, but I am so glad you got to see him recently and that he got to meet Maddy. And btw, I still think you are in the running for Father of the Year despite the bottle incident!
So glad to get caught up, but more glad to read that you are posting this for yourself and no one else. you are looking great these days and your face is filling back out from those gaunt pictures of yore…good to see!
Madeline is SO ALERT…so fun to see her holding her little head up and joining the world!! It just gets better and better, doesn’t it…? You are so right that this time together is priceless…you are getting to know her better than any other person on earth ever will…better almost than she will know herself someday.
I’m so sorry about your grandpa. hope wherever he is going, he will be joining many loved ones who will be glad to see him.
Great to hear you will have more time at home, but was surprised to hear it was due to “stress.” WHAT stress?! : )
In a strange bit of schadenfreude, I must admit I’m slightly happy to hear that Madeline cried on the flight home. About time you got a REAL kid instead of this picture-perfect angel you brag about all the time!
@K in the N–YES, that is way better than Sweden…which isn’t at all bad to begin with! How can they possibly do that? And what the hell is wrong with THIS country?!
Hi Matt..just read about your trip to SF. I have been there 3 times and love it!! My youngest son lived there for about 4 yrs, took a transfer w/Fisher Investments and now lives in Camas, WA.
You’re enthusiasm over Maddie’s smile brought back memories of when my two sons were babies..all the little things that brang joy to my life. You have a zillion more to come and believe me, Liz is sharing w/you!!!
Karen-Patrick Huey Erie, Pa.
ps..we plan a cross country trip to WA and wonders inbetween in the fall.
I’m so sorry to hear about your pappy. As Lisa said, Maddy now has yet another angel looking over her and guiding her. I truly believe the eyes of babes can see things that we cannot.
I love your SF pics.
Cheers.
First off, I’m so sorry to hear about your grandfather.
It sounds as though the trip to the sf was a lot of fun and just what you needed! And as for Liz missing out on it all…I am one of those people that really believes in angels and heaven – and yes, Liz isn’t beside you to witness it all- in the tangible way…but she’s still watching you & Madeline and I know she’s thrilled to pieces to see her little girl growing and her hubby doing such an amazing job at doing it all!
You’re doing an amazing job Matt! And if you’re ever in florida – let me know- we’ll get you and Madeline some tix to the Rays!
Sorry to hear about your grandpa. I lost my grandma Feb 19 and my grandfather the year before.
I smilled as soon as I saw her onsie that said smile if you think I’m cute. She is so little… you often forget how little they were.
i’m so sorry to hear you’ve suffered another loss. my condolences to you, your mom, and the rest of your family. it sounds like he was a fascinating man — so glad you had him in your life and that he and madeline got to meet.
naturally, the losses do tend to mount as you get older, but still. it sucks. it also smacks you right in the face with the awful truth: whether they leave us at 3, or 30, or 130 – with or without warning – we will just about always wish they’d had more time…and they probably do, too. (should that be “did”? “would have”? sorry, there’s nothing in my style guide about conjugating for the afterlife…)
anyway, it’s just another reminder to live well and fully today, and to appreciate those we love, and even those we’re merely fond of. because tomorrow? who the fuck knows…
PS: her first laugh! congrats! 13 years later, i can still summon the sound of my daughter’s first (even though there have been gazillions since). and it gets even better!
PSS: congrats, too, on surviving that flight. things just go that way sometimes with kids, even the perfect ones.
it’s how we earn our parenting stripes. soon, YOU’LL be rattling off travel tips to some newbie parent!
Thank you for this! I’m glad we’re caught up.
Your photography is just amazing. You should get your gallery friends to put up a showing for you, I bet you’d sell a lot.
I love Maddy’s pink sweat suit, it’s adorable. In the second pic she looks just like a Kewpie doll! Thanks for more bathroom shots, I assume Grandpa G took them, what did he think? I was happy to see guys washing their hands, though.
I’m so, so sorry about your grandpa.
Hi Matt,
I just finished reading all of your posts – originally came here after your Glamour post, but didn’t start reading from the beginning until a few days ago. I have a 6 month old little girl so your story is very close to my heart. Miss Madeline is a doll – so beautiful and I can tell from the pictures that she just adores her daddy!! You are doing a GREAT job with her! You are in my thoughts and I hope you are having a wonderful week!
Matt–I am so glad you had a nice weekend up here and it was again so nice to meet your friends and family. Congrats on the Giants losing to the Dodgers! That makes me smile always. The dog getting his rear wiped–unfortunately I have seen that way too often. I am sorry about your grandfather.
I’m smiling, do think she’s cute. Sorry to hear about your grandpa. However, I think that man wiping his dogs ass had to put at least three smiles on your face!
Matt, LIz will see EVERYTHING that Madeline does….she is with you every single day. I’m sure she doesn’t miss a beat!
Shes beautiful..looks so much like her mother.
Im so excited that youre getting to see the fun stuff now…soon she wont stop…babbling, laughing…its great.
I think you have the Father of the Year pretty much covered. yeah you left a piece of the bottle at home…so what.
Sorry to hear about grandpa, it’s nice to have some final fond memories of him.
Little M’s personality is really starting to shine through! I don’t have kids yet, but I photograph them a whole hell of a lot and I have been part of some firsts, and it really does take your breath away! Your little munchkin is the luckiest munchkin to have YOU as a daddy. Have a great weekend M&M!
HI Matt,
Sorry to hear about your grandpa’s passing! At least you were able to spend some time with him while in MN. Maddy is adorable. She is getting so big! Love the expressions and her smile. Enjoy every minute of every day. You’re doing great! Liz would be so proud of you! So many more memories to make with Maddy. Keep smiling!
Matt,
She looks so good, and so big. I’m so glad she’s smiling and laughing for you. They only get more communicative from here– for better and for worse. I think it gets more fun from here! And I’m sorry that Liz doesn’t get to be there to see it with you, too.
Beki (& all)
Matt~
I am so sorry to hear your grandpa passed away!! Glad he got to visit with you and see Madeline in the MN though!!
the pictures are awesome ~ as always!! You all look like you are having fun! And I must say you made me really home sick.I moved to CO 9 years ago but my mom, brothers and sister are all in Marin and Sonoma County. Those pictures are just too close to home. I really LOVE reading your posts. I love hearing and learning about you, LIz and Madeline, I love seeing her beautiful wardrobe, your carriers, your restaurants, your family, travels, baseball games, I learned men pee in troughs (though I fear one day you may share a picture of the shiner you recieve after taking these pics) you make me long for the love of family and I can identify with all of the joys of parenthood!! You are giving Madeline a wonderful gift through this blog and all of your stranger/friends, family as well!!
Thank you!!
Awesome Aunt Debbie has the same awesome smile that Liz has in all the pictures you post. It looks like Maddy is well on her way to having the same one.
You’ve got us all smiling after seeing the last pic with the onesie. We’re also smiling because of the extra long post filled with awesome shots and info – her laugh and that smile of hers – thank you for sharing. So sorry about your grandpa – hopefully, I’m not crossing some invisible blog comment line, but perhaps Liz was able to welcome him and share a scotch with him? Yeah, sounds a bit weird, but I always take a bit of comfort hoping my dad is somewhere welcoming relatives/friends/we don’t want to leave, but they have and they are doing all of their favorite things together; passing the time ’til we see them again or we call on them for help.
First off, I am so jealous of your Babyhawk! I want one really bad. Madeline looks like she liked it.
I’m fully convinced that baby laughs are the best thing in the world.
So sorry to hear about your grandfather. How great that he got to meet Madeline and spend some time with you recently.
Hope this week is going well for ya’ll
I’ve been reading for a while and always appreciate seeing a new update from you. I can’t begin to speak to your losses… they just suck – and there’s no words for it that will do justice.
What I will comment on is WOW she’s growing so fast and is so beautiful! If you haven’t already, find a cloth diapering store, where you can get someone to show you how to do a back carry with Madeline, as she gets older the both of you will appreciate it so much. I use a mei tai type carrier with my baby and we’ve just started with the back carry and I wonder why I waited so long.
After reading your blog, it appears as though you are everywhere…MN, SF, fishing where there is no internet, this restaurant and that restaurant, baseball game here, baseball game there (love the trough shot). I think you should consider changing your blog title to “Learning to take the World by the Horns one Monday at a Time”. You are on an incredible journey that you never planned on alone. Tuesdays are tough…but Mondays keep you going. Best of Luck
Wow, Matt….I’m so behind of late reading updates and looking at your beautiful pictures. Madeline is changing so much! She’s even more beautiful if that’s even possible.
Her personality is really shining through in her face and expressions. What a cutie pie!
I’m so sorry for the loss of your grandfather. I wish you much peace.
You continue to inspire us all with your strength!
Amy
Your trips are so packed with adventure! Madeline is such a lucky little girl. I’m loving that you continue to realize the beautiful gift you have in your sweet, cute daughter…(that onesie is too much). Sorry about the loss of your grandfather, I know that you will always cherish your last visit with him. May the sound of Madeline’s laugh give you joy unspeakable today and always. It is good to read your blogs and to see you are beginning to have more good days in a row.
nothing better than that first laugh. nothing. you’re doing a great job!
Two things:
1. I hope there is a computer and internet up in heaven for Liz to use.
2. I have been telling my husband about your story and the blogs that you write and how nice you talk about Liz all the time. Then I told him that if anything ever happened to me that he could write the nice stuff about me as well as the stuff he didn’t always love about me. I told him that I would know if he was lying writing about wonderful I am all the time because, I know that I’m not wonderful all the time and that’s what makes having that connection so wonderful. You tell a beautiful story about Liz and her personality but the story about her getting mad at you for buying the robot, makes her a real person to me. (probably because I would have done the same thing to my husband.) So, point is…. keep sharing the good and the not so good…..
Kisses to Madeline!
She’s a cutie….
I am so sorry for the loss of your grandpa. That is wonderful he got to meet Madeline and you were able to see him recently. Hope you mom is doing ok too…..
I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your grandpa. I feel so caught up on your life now. Thanks for the long update! It provided good down time today at work. I cannot get over how darn cute that daughter is of yours!
Man, she’s getting so cute! Not that she wasn’t cute before, duh, but now she’s getting that chubby baby jowl and smiling and laughing. Ahh, it’s so adorable.
I’m exhausted after reading!! Liz was waiting with open arms and a ready smile to greet your grandfather…
Someone else commented on the nonstop giggling…just wait to see what you will do to get those. Those pictures are what I want to see!!!!
Love is as much of an object as an obsession, everybody wants it, everybody seeks it, but few ever achieve it, those who do will cherish it, be lost in it, and among all, never… never forget it.
Curtis Judalet
I <3 creepy.
madeline is your lucky charm.. three for three!
bring her to the casino.. haha ..
sorry to hear about your grandpa
can’t wait to read your next blog!
Hi Matt,
A friend directed me to your blog last week and I’m absolutely hooked on it. I still have alot of catching up to do to get current with your past postings, but I am speechless at what you’ve had to deal with in the last several months. I can’t even imagine being in your position, but have nothing but admiration for you. You are an inspiration to me and I’m quite sure, everyone who reads your posts.
My condolences on losing your Grandfather. Both of mine passed when I was much younger, and I wish I had had the opportunity to spend more time with them.
Your daughter, Madeline, is an absolute doll! What a joy she must be to wake up to everyday! Your parenting skills are amazing, as well. I don’t even know mothers that are as good as you! You’ve got Father of the Year locked up big time – I guar-an-fucking-tee it! (Love love LOVE that you use the “F” word – one of my personal favorites………!)
Glad you were able to see the Dodgers punk the Giants in their crib (I’m a diehard Blue fan)! SF is a great city – it sounds like you had a wonderful time and I’m glad for you.
I love your pictures and your musings – and I thank you for sharing your life with us. I am a firm believer that those who leave us in the physical sense are still with us. Rest assured your beautiful Liz is watching over you and your precious daughter. She is so very, very proud of you.
Take care of yourself.
I’m so sorry to hear about your grandfather. I’m glad he was able to get the chance to meet little Madeline.
Her first laugh! That must have been an amazing moment. That smile shows how much she loves her daddy!
You are simply remarkable.
thank you for sharing your amazing story with all of us. I am so sorry to hear about your grandfather. May all of miss madelines laughs and smiles keep you through the hard times.
you are in our prayers!
aloha.
Aw man, Madeline is getting cuter and cuter by the DAY, literally.
Great job catching up on the days too, better than I can!
That record store, looks like heaven.
I love reading your blog. It’s truly beautiful. I find myself crying daily–not only because of you and your situation (which I must comment that you’ve handled beautifully), but because it allows me to look back on my life with my children and be so thankful. It just brings back so many wonderful memories.
Hold your little angel tight… it goes by in the blink of an eye. She really grows more beautiful each day.
Great update. Madeline is so beautiful. I’m glad you had a nice trip. You are awesome.
Glad you had a good trip to the SF, and I admire your amazing willpower, walking into Giant Robot and not buying anything…
I don’t know if you noticed but the SF pics were the first ones I have seen you smile in.
I found your blog through a birth board I am a part of. You are an amazing father. Liz is very proud of you. I pray for you and Madeline every night. Send much love and peace in your way…
I am so sorry you lost your grandfather Matt.
I lost my grandfather not long after Madeline was born, I wish i had seen him one last time and shared a scotch or a story- or at least a hug- but I (sadly) hadn’t seen him in years.
I am glad you get some more time off to be with Madeline before heading to work again. That laugh and those smiles make me extra glad.
I haven’t waded through the 106 coments ahead of mine..
“internet-meme-popular-dad”
so perhaps I am repeating.. *but* I know (as much as i can) without Liz those firsts are bittersweet and you must feel so alone in rejoicing her growth and development..
I realized when i first started tuning in- a big draw for me was that i know sharing with ‘my’ partner all those little firsts is huge- and as a mother- for another mother who can’t be with her babe- i want to share in those firsts.. i want to shed a little happy tear for her first laugh- first word.. those first steps and tumbles.
I want to appreciate them as a momma- of course not her momma.. but with a momma’s love.
and I do.
and I will- as long as you share them.
I realized yesterday i actually know other people commenting on your blog hey- up in Canada posting on a blog- I actually know other readers..small world the net is. hey?
be well Matt-
Love your stories and photos. Great catch up! That babe has seen more in her 3 months than alot of folks in thier lifetime!
Great stories Matt. Maddy will treasure them!
Loving the smirk, the smile, the giggle… Madeline is getting bigger, less “premi” looking, and more beautiful by the day!
So, what’s with the left-justified look? I feel like I’m missing something?! Is it just me??
Your daughter is just beautiful. And, though I have never met her, I miss Liz.
I’ve never commented before, but I emailed you about getting your address. And there is a package on it’s way to you from sunny Florida right now
) Can I just say that I’m really glad you’re catching up to the present?! I was feeling like I wanted to know what you’re doing right now and not a week ago… wow, that sounds a little stalkerish, huh? Madeline is really growing! She’s more gorgeous every day. You’re going to be seeing so many milestones coming up. That first laugh is just awesome, isn’t it?
And I just sobbed over the laughing comments. I remember the first time my daughter laughed at me and how much joy it gave me (my daughter is just a few weeks younger than yours). Madeline is just so precious. You’re doing such a great job!
hey Matt! i am really enjoying all of your posts and pictures. if you REALLY want some artsy pics, come to New Orleans…..during Mardi Gras!
there are lots of kid friendly things to do then too!
I am sorry for your loss.
YOur daughter is precious and you are doing great with her. I wish my family and I lived closer to you because you seem like a great person and family.
P.s.
the little floral dresses you bought are goregous.
don’t forget Maddie will need bows when she is older and gets more hair:)
sorry to hear about the loss of your grandpa.
isn’t strange how you spend so much time with your baby, yet sometimes, out of nowhere, you become stunned/amazed/overwhelmed at what they are doing? the one thing that always hits me hard for some reason is when my babies start sleeping in all sorts of sprawled out positions and i get this flash of them as teenagers sleeping that same way. long story short, glad you’re having such a blast watching your baby grow.
She just gets more beautiful every day.
I’m another one who reads almost daily and cries almost as often. I can’t even imagine how difficult this is for you. You and Madeline touch my heart.
sorry to hear about your grandpa.
Great stories, great photos. Love the smiles! Thank you, as always, for sharing with us. So sorry to hear about your grandfather. I lost my dear Grammy last September at age 87 also.
Sorry to hear about your grandpa, Matt. It’s wonderful to hear that he had such a long life and that you were able to see him on your last visit. Miss Madeline is such a doll–I remember the first laughs of my two little girls (3-1/2 and 14 months)…they brought tears to my eyes. It’s great the G Grandparents could be there to share the moment. I know nothing will ever be as sweet as having Liz there though. You’re doing a wonderful job…Maddy has already been more places than both my girls combined. Thanks again for continuing to share your life with us…
so fun to be able to read all of those at once, your pictures are amazing as well! Thanks Matt for keeping us updated!
you are still father of the year, no doubt.
sounds like you had a fun trip to the SF, and I know you must have liked the amoeba!
I’ve been reading your blog for a few weeks, and just had to comment on this one. I’m 23 weeks pregnant and have been watching your little girl grow since I was about 15 weeks. I love watching her changing apperance. You are doing a kick ass job as a dad- and even though I’m “the mom,” I hope I do as half as a good job as you are when my daughter gets here.
And the reason why I chose this blog to comment on is that little laugh. I can’t wait.
I know you’re missing your beautiful wife. But I know that she’s just as proud of you as we all are. She’s watching, and knows you’re beautiful little princess is being taken care of by one of the best!
Matt,
First, let me say that I am so, so sorry for your loss. We’ve all been there – it sucks to lose someone special.
*hug*
Also, Maddy seems to get more beautiful every day! Her big blue eyes just kill me.
The bathtime photo is one of my favorite Madeline pics of all time!
Hang in there. You DO deserve the world’s best dad award, even if you did forget that all-important part of the bottle.
-Katie
Matt your are doing a wonderful job with your precious little girl. I have been reading your blog for the last 2 months and I am amazed. Your an awsome Dad and person. Your photography is awsome too. You inspire me.
Your the first man to actually make me cry in … well, I think it’s been two years.
Congratulations on all of those remarkables. And you’re right – it just gets better…just wait until she starts hugging you, kissing you and tickling you.
BTW – we were in San Fran at the same time.
Oh, and I especially liked the irony of the guy wiping his dog’s ass. WTF?
madeline is so cute and adorable…too bad her mum will not see her how cute and pretty your little princess…
Godbless
I think
you
WILL be
father of the year.
Love you baby carriers.
You seriously have the cutest little girl there!! I love the picture of her smiling!! Congrats Dad, you are doing a fantastic job!!
You do get the best Dad award regardless!
Have been a reader for a long time although this is my first comment. When you and Madeline decide to visit Arkansas~ said Arkansaw…lol
Look me up!
Beautiful baby and such a wonderful job you do!!
your daughter is the most beautiful little girl…the onesie and pants look is bound to catch on…how could it not, with her as a spokesbaby?!
Hi Matt, I use to work with Liz at Sourcing and she would always tell me that we would get along so well because her husband was a Dodger fantic like me. Glad to see Madeline is enjoying all of the excitement. Visiting every stadium is a priority on every trip. 9 down, many too go.
I think of her all the time. I just got married in Kauai and Liz would tell me all the places I should go. She told me I picked her favorite island.
My thoughts & prayers are with the two of you.
Holy shit…small world.
I wasn’t going to comment on your blog until I caught up to present time…started reading this about a day ago after someone commented here: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/ellielee
about your similar situation…unfortunately. I started on the blog post the day before Madeline was born.
Any who…your grandfather…I didn’t know him, but I know Mary Jagunich (if it is the same one I know) and some Lehto’s!
I am a Northern Minnesota girl. Just so happened to go though my own fucked up tragedy in 2009.
I mentioned you in my blog on Monday.