so…
while you wait for me to get caught up on my days, i thought i’d share a little something to keep you busy.
my new best bud chrissy coppa asked me to once again guest blog on her storked! blog over at glamour mag.
i wrote a little something on my flight to the mn (i’m in town ’til sunday for my grandpa’s funeral).
i hope you enjoy…
m.
(thanks, chrissy…you’re my heroine).
149 Comments
Hope you and Madeline have a nice, peaceful time in MN over the weekend. I know cuddling little Madeline is just what your mom needs!!
Wow! Great entry in the Glamour blog! straight from the heart- as always.
P.S.- I knew you did the pants under the onesie on purpose!!! You are a pro at dressing her. Now that is something my husband might do… j/k
Fabulous Storked! entry! Liz is beaming, I’m sure. I hope this leads to even bigger and better things for you. You’re so freakin’ awesome. Loved the line about you not being the village idiot…too funny.
Even though it’s under sad circumstances, welcome back to the MN. We’ve missed you both.
My condolences to you and your entire family on the loss of your grandpa.
Well done, Matt! And I, for one, enjoyed the pants under the onesie! …Makes a ton of sense.
Hey Matt – love the article! My first son was (and still is) on the skinny side and I NEVER thought of the onsie over the pants – that is freakin’ brilliant! You otta copyright that. Oh yah – and it does look cool too!
Sorry to hear about your grandfather. I hope you and Madeline have a safe journey.
Matt-
Loved the article! I know for sure I am a (stranger) friend after that and the email.
You are doing a great job and are very capable! Sometimes those of us who like to help should keep our mouths shut. Good reminder, if your not in some sort of relationship with the person, keep your advise to yourself. Keep cool today in the MN.
Uh oh, I made a comment yesterday that the pants under the onesie cracked me up, but I hope I didn’t offend. I thought it was cute as hell, and didn’t think you were a moron at all. Sorry if I came across the wrong way.
I know you are doing an incredible job with Madeline. I’m sorry about your grandpa – I’ll be thinking of you this weekend.
Totally stoked that you got another storked gig. I agree, I think that you need a gig over there.
I agree, I think Maddy willl be the best medicine for your mom. Aww hell, she is the best medicine for everyone I bet!
I laughed at the village idiot as well. Only because we have been hanging around here so long and we know how fucking awesome you are only an idiot would think you are an idiot!
When I saw the picture of Madeline with the pants on under her onsie my first thoughts were “that looks fucking awesome” and “what a great idea”. I’m not a mom yet but I’m definitely going to pass that idea on to my mom friends. You rock Matt, no doubt about that!
Nice Job Matt, im pregnant now and I get advice non-stop, from people I don’t know. Even men give me advice sometimes, not that a man can’t take care of a baby, as we well know. Still when I get unwanted advice I just smile and say thank you I will keep that in mind, then in my head I blow them up with a frag grenade. Good luck and make your own decisions and mistakes and don’t take any advice from people you don’t want, weed out the good stuff.
Is the sudden traffic from your link blowing out Glamour’s server?? All I can get is a dns error message.
That would be so funny…and yet more evidence you’ve really “arrived”!
PS: Best wishes to your and your family for your grandpa’s service today. And please remember to set cellphones and pages to silent.
Glamour piece is awesome. BTW, the onesie over the pants, brilliant idea!!! I wish I had been smart enough to think of that. I have 4 kids and hated those damn freaking pants that never stayed up on the babies.
Will be thinking of you and your family this weekend. So sorry about the passing of your grandpa.
You are an amzing dad. I know that it is only July, but your for have father of the year in the bag!!!
I’m glad they invited you back. Going to read the article now!
I love it; great column. Everybody who goes around giving new parents unasked-for advice (be the advicee new dad OR new mom) should read this and learn!
You’re doing awesome and I’m so glad you’ve realized you’re not alone in this. You and Madeline have the greatest support system ever, and it’s there for a reason.
You rock.
Forget listening to others, only you know whats best for Maddy, just remember she only has 1 father and thats wonderful you, besides as long as shes not naked and screaming but dressed and content, what does it matter what does it matter what she wears at barely 4 months?..
Matt, your blog is beautiful and so is Madeline. And that fact that she’s already been to MN makes her even cooler. (sorry to hear about g-pa’s passing, glad she brought happy to the situation) Will you teach her to say uff da?
-A cross over from storked
Matt – Another plus of having the onesie over the pants – everyone could see the full burst of color on the onesie … brilliant!
I think your blog should eventually evolve into a book – with photos. It would be beautiful.
Just for the record………when I saw the pants under the onesie, I thought wow, that looks cool. I would have never thought to do that.
Storked! loves having you two! Talk soon.
xChrissy
Re: Clothes. Some posters on Storked! got mad when I showed JD wearing his cap to the side. They said it looked “gangsta.” We’re not in a gang. I sent him to daycare today sans socks. It’s 100 degrees out. Daycare lady said his feet might get cold.
As always, great!! You have a terrific gift with words – by the way, where is the fuck?
great post on storked!!! when i saw the onsie over the pants picture i actually said out loud at my desk with no one else around, “oh, why didn’t i ever do that????” I think it is fucking adorable.
btw, i still get unsolicited advice and my son is almost 3. He is a very, as i like to call it, “spirited” child and people with normal kids just don’t understand him. people can fuck off!!!
sorry you have to be in the mn so soon again, but i do hope being here adds another couple of pounds on this trip. you have looked much healthier and at peace the last few weeks. keep it up, you are awesome.
madeline looks like a rock star… in a “my clothes don’t match, but I did it this way on purpose, and I have way more fashion sense than any of you” kind of way.
LOVE IT! great article, btw…
Matt – you are an inspiration! You are proof positive that we can rise to the occasion, even if it’s an occasion we’d rather not have to face. You are doing a great job with your precious little girl, and you’re sharing your heart and mind with all of us stranger/friends. Truly amazing.
All of us will be thinking of your family this weekend as you say goodbye to someone else you loved. Hang in there.
another great read on Storked! if they can’t get you a full time gig, they must be formula crack smokers.
will be thinking of you and your family extra today.
(((((hugs)))))
Great write-up! I’ve been reading your entire blog this week and am honored to have been given a glimpse into your life. Thank you for sharing all that you do. Truly.
As for the onesie. I noticed the pants yesterday and thought- hell! I’m going to do that once my little one comes home. A baby can’t get much cuter than when they’re wearing pants under a onesie. Keep the trend going as sweet baby Madeline grows up- skirts under pants are pretty bleeping rad too.
Ha! I saw the pants under the onesie and thought it was cute! Just wait til all those hipster babes catch on!!
Jeez…I’m almost feeling a little put to shame here!
I was a single mom for 10 years and have also parented as a couple and I’m SURE I never travelled as well as you do. You blog, take AMAZING photographs, and now you’re writing for Glamour as well. I barely got out of my PJs most days for the first several months after my second child was born. Ignore all those crazy misguided advice-givers. It’s great to hear your confidence in your abilities, because you really are an incredible parent.
You are an amzing dad. I know that it is only July, but your for have father of the year in the bag!!!
Guess I can’t spell this morning. Meant to say, You are an amazing dad. I know that it is only July, but you for sure have father of the year in the bag!!!!
Sorry for all of the typos. My head was thinking faster than my hands could type.
I assumed you put the pants under the onsie so you could see the cute design without it be cut off by the pants. I for one thought it was genius.
@Andrea V
some of my “fucks” were edited out…had to be done. there were a lot of them (was feeling a little hostile after the flight).
The only thing about pants under a onesie is that I am pissed that I didn’t think of it. WTF? Great Idea! I had a skinny baby with no waist and the elastic just did not stay up. Brilliant, you’re fucking brilliant! Rock on, she is starting her own babe fashion! Love Your article!
fantastic article! and i agree…the pants under the onesie look RAD!
Love the article, even if it needed to be “Jilled” for language. (Can “jilled” be a word today?)
Hope the MN treats you well this weekend. Sending love to you and the family today. Plenty of creeps around if you and Maddy need some company!
Disclaimer: The use of the word “creep” in the above sentence is not present to illicit fighting words. Carry on.
awesome article.
i’ll tell you when that trend is popular on the east coast!
Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone with getting a ton of unsolicited advice. It does seem that dads do get more though.
I love the onesie over the pants. I would not call you an idiot. I think you are doing a wonderful job with your little girl.
Awesome. Your blog…..your little something on Sotrked!….Maddie…..You. Awesome.
ahhh..Storked! You know what I mean
great article. was also wondering where the fucks were, but i saw you answered it.
wow, i never thought to put the pants under to keep them up. there is a method to your madness and i wish i would have thought of that. my hub just mismatches for the reaction and in his mind it really does match. i can’t really complain because the girls love it. they even seem an extra bit happy when daddy dresses them all fun.
hope the trip back to mn is going well.
Oh, is that what Andrea meant? Since you have a friend named “the bastard”, I just assumed when she asked
“where is the fuck?”
that she was inquiring after another mutual acquaintance!
Finally got through to the Glamour site — love your piece. A lot to chew on there. It would make for a lovely discussion on a larger scale. Pity about the fucklessness though…
We’ll be thinking of you and your family in the MN with heartfelt symapthy!!
Awesome entry over @ Glamour!! Love it!!
I for one do not think you are doing a great job as a “single widowed father”. I think you are doing a tremendous job as a parent in general. I think we all learn by our mistakes and each kid is a learning curve. And to top it off they each come with their own unique personalities, what worked for one may not work for the other. To me you blow me away by the spirit and love you have for your daughter, Liz and life. You have an amazing soul and it really shines, it is revealed via your posts, words and pictures!! I am taken by that.
I’m 35 with 4 kids and it amazes me how many people feel the need to comment ~my 3 year old is FTT and had a ng tube for 11 months. Oh you should of heard all the information we recieved! and especially because I look younger than I am, I get lots of comments. My least favorite was “babies having babies”.
I just think people need to shut their pie holes!! LOL
I was going to ask where you got the onesie from the post yesterdaay as I loved it sooo much!! Do you think a boy could wear that??
I knew there was a reason for the pants under the onsie. And knew all along you weren’t the village idiot trying to dress his daughter. Maddy is on the fast track to becoming a fashionista…all because she has an ultra-cool dad like you. My dad…not that cool…I would have been wearing a potato sack…
Nice to have you back in The MN…sorry it isn’t under better circumstances. My condolences to you and your family.
I think you’re an absolutely AWESOME dad. Maddy is going to be so proud of you when she gets older and learns of everything that happened after her birth.
I use to put onesies over my kids pants too, for the same fucking reason you did. To keep the pants up on their waists! and yes it looks pretty cool!
take care!
Ok, about the pants. I had a couple of skinny-minny little girls, and I SO wish that had occurred to me. Plus, in case of a blowout, it might stay contained in the pants and salvage the onesie. Brilliant. I feel dumb.
Loved the article. This is such a good point. I was actually just mentioning to my husband a couple weeks ago that from your blog I have learned that I will never say to a father “wow great job without mom” because I can definately see how that would be offensive to any Father. Men aren’t stupid they have the same nurtuing insticts as women.
PS I don’t have kids didn’t even notice the pants thing.
Matt-Awesome article!!! Missed the “fucks” but I understand. I don’t have kids, so maybe I should mind my own business, but I just think you are doing such a good job. ALL of my friends have kids and they aren’t doing half as well as you. Most of them never go out because its “too much work”, etc.
I know that people mean well when they offer unsolicited advice, but sometimes, maybe they just need to shut the fuck up. I am constantly getting “advice” on the fact that I need to start thinking about having a baby, after all, I AM 35, etc. Well, no shit! I am well aware of my declining fertility, but my fiancee does not want kids and I am not about to stage an “accident” as so many people have suggested. So, sorry, I digress….my own little rant….
But, I’ve been thinking about this for a while, and not quite sure how to say it without it coming out wrong. I try to find the “silver lining” in horrible situations, (otherwise, I think I’d have lost my shit by now), and here is my silver lining with your situation. I know that with all of your heart, you wanted to share all of these new developments with Liz (and with all of our hearts we wish you would have been able to), but I wonder how many of them you might have “missed” if the situation was different. I’m not saying you wouldn’t have been an involved parent, but naturally you wouln’t have spent every minute with her (as no 2 parents do). So now you get to experience all of it, and that is truly a gift that many fathers never experience. I hope that makes sense and you understand what I mean by this, I’m having a tough time trying to make it come out right (it kinda sounds like I’m saying youre lucky to be alone, and thats totally not what I’m saying).
I’m sorry that you are home under such sad circumstances…..my sympathies to you and your family…
Baby suspenders ::snort::
http://tinyurl.com/687vhd
Just call Madeline Larry K. (or not)
I’m on my way to Caifornia for the birth of my first grandchild. Her name will be Faythe…Can’t wait to tell my daughter in law about the NEW fashion trend…Your in my prayers every night. God Bless you and Maddy….
Why can I NEVER write a short post? Sorry bout that…
can only duplicate all others saying I loved the article on Storked and there are enough people following trends already, it’s time someone made new ones! Keep going stranger
I’m glad you’re back in the MN, sorry about the circumstances though.
For the record, I thought the pants under onsie look was quite cool and wished I had thought about it myself!
I am trying to order you a book about those teenage years that I used with my daughter, it was a tremendous help, even for a mom. It seems to not be available from Amazon anymore, so I’m searching.
MATT’S BROADS (and gents)
LOVE
CHRISSY COPPA!!!
WELCOME
GLAMOUR READERS!
Can almost see that big, proud smile your sweet Liz is giving you reading her heavenly copy of Glamour! =)
As always, great article.
Thinking of you this weekend while you say goodbye to your pappy.
Safe travels.
p.s. I’m so excited they used the “Streets of San Francisco” pic for the Glamour piece! That is such a great photo.
p.p.s. My young’un is 10, as y’all know by now, and people, bless their hearts, are STILL treating me like I’m a total spaz of a parent. I dunno why. I think it’s really more about the other people and their issues than it is about you.
I wish you could of said fuck in the article (but that would of pissed the fuck out of advertisers, which in turn pissed off Glamour so, I understand)
You know what dude- keep fighting the establishment and kicking ass your own damn way. Funny, I never thought there was a reason *why* the pants were under the onesie- I just thought that was the way you want to do it so fuck it. I am also weaning myself off Zoloft so my mind is all fucked up right now… I digress…
Matt- First off, sorry for the spanking my Red Sox gave your Twins:) I thought of you and Maddy while watching those games;)
Second, I think pants under onsies are freakin adorable. And super trendy. And my favorite outfit as a kid were these pink/white polka dot shorts with a pink/grey striped shirt. I wore that outfit until there were holes in them. I see nothing wrong with polka dots and stripes.
Third, (and not that my opinion should matter) but I think you’re doing a great job with Maddy. I can’t imagine taking Cami (my baby girl who was due May 12, but came on May 6) on one flight, never mind 5. Good gosh- I don’t think I would survive!
Thanks for sharing you and Maddy’s lives with us. I enjoy reading your blog:)
You are doing an awesome job! Madeline is so lucky to have a daddy like you.
“It may take a village to raise a child, but I’m not the village idiot..”
I love that.
1) Pants under the onesie = rock
2) You hit the nail on the head with your article. I could go on and on about unsolicited advice… but I won’t!
Now I didn’t want to send condolences via making a #3 for this because it just seemed tacky… But Matt, I’m very sorry about your grandfather. I grew up not knowing either of mine because they passed away before I had the chance to remember them. It’s awesome that you were able to have yours around for so long, and it makes me happy that he was able to meet Madeline
I have been slow to comment lately because… well – it’s summer, and we’re never here! But- I wanted to let you know I still keep up with your blog! You really seem to be doing better and better each day (although I know there are days where you probably feel as if you’ve made no progress). I notice a big difference in you, though… so I wanted to point that out and give it the high-five it deserves
Anyway – big hugs to both you and Madeline.
She really is something else.
Matt, your article was great. Every blog I read I keep thinking about how people don’t mean to treat you as the “village idiot” but they are nonetheless! I agree that first time parents don’t have a clue, not just the dads! I love the pants under the onesie & I think it looked quite rad myself
So sorry for the loss of your grandpa, but now there is one more person you have on your side watching out for her
Take care and thanks again for sharing with all of us!
Matt,
Just wanted to let you know that I think you are doing a wonderful job with Madeline under the circumstances and those goons with the unwanted advice should take it elsewhere to someone who truly needs it! I am a long time reader, first time commentor, from the MN. (originally from the IL) hee hee
Hope your time in the MN is as good as it can be, and i will keep you and your family in my prayers.
Great article. I’m amazed how confident people feel to share their opinions in public. I don’t know what possesses some people.
Thanks for linking.
ahhh matt, I love it. the pants under the onsie thing, i saw it and KNEW you had a good reason. I always had that problem with my girls, their waist was too small and they would slide down. Fabulous Idea!!!
My son was born on march 20th and I’m getting to know him as we grow together. It irks me when he’s crying and someone in the supermarket says, “he’s hungry”. Oh really? Thank you for being the expert on my son, he actually just ate.
You’re daughter is beautiful and I’ve enjoyed reading about her milestones as my son travels along a similar road. My best to you as you and Maddie grow and learn about each other.
Hey Matt,
Great article! Welcome to the world of unsolicited advice and comments! I am guilty also for suggesting the baby bjorn. Sorry!
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers this weekend as you say goodbye to your grandpa.
Take care,
Debbie
that is a great article! I think you are doing a fantastic job raising her!!
Great Glamour entry! Who doesn’t think Maddie looks fucking rad in her fashion statement onsie/pant combo. I think she looks like a rock star!
Well even though people may continue to think to stupid because you are a man, you are showing the world and mostly Maddie that you are highly capable and will ask for advise when you want it. Keep rocking it!
Matt,
Love your blog over at Glamour today! You have a way with words! Loving your fashion style on Maddy! Don’t ever forget, you’re doing an awesome job! Babies don’t come with a manual! All first time parents are full of fear! It’s a learning process and thank god you have friends and family to lend a helping hand! Take care of YOU and enjoy every minute of every day with Maddy! xo
feeling hostile after an overbooked flight with your baby to yet another (3rd?) memorial service within 4 months? sounds appropriate to me.
so sorry to hear about your grandpa. what an awesome picture (and memory) from the wedding you attended not long ago.
take good care and remember that the awesome mold was broken when you were born. lucky everyone, especially liz and maddy.
Awesome article, Matt. Not that anyone who’s been following along expects anything different…
Lots & lots of love & light to you both. Safe travels.
- a lurker, un-lurking!
Pants under onesie = BRILLIANT! I wish I’d thought if that!
I’m so sorry about your grandpa. Wishing you a safe flight back!!
Matt – Loved your Storked article. I’ve been a single parent since my son was 4 months old (he is 4 now) and people were always giving me advice….some of it bad advice, but as a new parent I thought every parent must know more than me. Anyway, the best advice I ever got was this, “Lots of people will tell you how to care for and raise your child. Take it all with a grain of salt – you know your baby best.”
Sorry to hear about your grandfather. I’m glad he and Madeline got to meet.
Amazing article!! I wish I had the guts to do all the things you do with Maddy with my baby girl. I think of all the things that could go wrong…instead of just doing it. You inspire me to be a better mom, and a better wife.
Do you think Maddy’s hair is going to be red?? Her eye brows look a little reddish. I have a red head (and a red head niece)….get ready for all the “where does she get red hair??” questions everytime you go anywhere. Red heds rock! =)
Take Care!
@Chrissi–Did people seriously make comments about your baby being in a gang…? And were these people complete morons…?
@ Becky–”Jilled” can be a word EVERY day.
@ Maureen in the PA–Loved what you wrote. I’ve thought the same thing about the silver lining…not that it outweighs having Liz gone, not by a long shot, but that the upside might be how much Matt gets to be with Madeline. I tried to say the same thing the other day, that he will know her better than anyone in the world, and what a special feeling that will be. And on a lighter note…LOVED your dino story yesterday. Laughed my ass off.
@ K8–Good thing you made our feelings clear to the Glamour girls…or someone might have taken offense. And we wouldn’t want that to happen. ; )
Matt – Loved the Storked! article. I am so drawn to the way you write.
Personally I loved the whole onesie look. Madeline is so damn cute she can pull anything off.
You are doing a great job. Glad to have you back in the MN, but sorry it is under such sad circumstances. Thinking of you and your family today and wishing you all well.
You ARE doing a great job! I love the onesie over the pants…had to giggle when I saw it, but it makes total sense. Wish I had thought of that when my daughter was that little.
Take care,
Michelle
HOLA Matt
The only sentence that come to my mind after reading the article….Your’re FUCKING amazing!
Have a safe trip back home (MN would LOVE to have you both there again!!)
Besos y abrazos
Sol
p.s. I don’t want to start an argument (it is NOT my intention!) since I know that It is hard to swallow but… we (women) would have to ACCEPT that MEN are “in some situations” more PRACTICAL than women…
Just wanted to let you know that I think you are doing a wonderful job with Madeline under any circumstance. You are being a great parent. I used to hate when people would say I’m doing great considering this is my first child. So if this was my second would my efforts be considered crappy?
Great post Matt however I missed the “F” bombs. Have a great weekend.
my thoughts are with you and your family during this weekend.
you continue to amaze. and i am so not surprised that your voice resonates with so many people. excellent to see/hear your continued strength and growing confidence with madeline. you certainly deserve to feel like you are doing a great job – because you are.
HOLA Matt
The only sentence that come to my mind after reading the article….Your’re FUCKING amazing!
Have a safe trip back home (MN would LOVE to have you both there again!!)
Besos y abrazos
Sol
p.s. I don’t want to start an argument.. I know that It is hard to swallow but… we (women) would have to ACCEPT that MEN are “in some situations” more PRACTICAL than women…
matt, i’m so sorry about your grandfather but how great that you just got to see him and have a picture with him from the wedding!
you are doing beyond fantastic as a dad and i can’t believe how big madeline is getting not to mention how freakin’ adorable!!!!!! by the way, i LOVE what you wrote for storked and found madeline to be quite the little diva in her pants under onesie! liz would be so proud!
keep on with the smiles. tears will always be there but the laughs will get you through. : )
just in case (knowing my english could be “poor”)…when I said PRATICAL I mean: to find the best practical solution to a problem using my mind, my knowledge, my imagination and my intuition.
Peace you all.
Sol
@Katy: I know, right? I’m not takin’ any chances this time!
(Even tho I do feel like he’s OURS cuz WE WERE HERE FIRST. BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA!)
@Matt – Now I feel like a fucking asshole for asking you about the pantsunderonesie thing!
ACK!
@Kate and Katy – if you wanna get something REALLY going to take Matt’s mind off of things – just bring up The Brothers’ Logelin, The AJ/Johnny Utah Sandwich and other random inappropriate things to get people pissed!
And speaking of AJ – Where the hell are you? I need to know why I can only see the comment #’s for the first SECOND I am on the site and then they disappear to grayed out boxes??
Love it! You totally freaking rock!
It always amazes me the stuff that people feel they have the right to comment on once there is a child in your arms. I know I have experienced this (even being a woman). My favorite was the dude on the escalator in Nordstrom who interrogated me on who my firstborn’s father was since she had red hair and blue eyes, and I did not. He basically told me that I must have been unfaithful to my husband b/c no way could a brown eyed, brown haired woman end up with a red headed blue eyed baby (yeah, ever heard of recessive genes, dude?). Oh! And then there was the chick at the grocery store who helpfully pointed out that my newborn had eye boogers (she had a blocked tear duct that made for some goopy eyes for a bit) and then this complete stranger PICKED THE BOOGERS out of my newborn baby’s eyeballs. Oh my gawd…I about died.
I could go on and on…we actually began writing this stuff in my daughter’s journal that we started when she was born just to have a good laugh later on. 
I can only imagine for you the “helpful advice” is amplified by about a million, because you get people who just wrongly assume you don’t have good reason for doing stuff your way (like the onesie/pants….which I must say I have done myself with all 3 kids, and no one ever said boo to me…lol).
You totally rock the dad thing. People just need to know when to butt out sometimes. LOL.
Amy
Matt and Madeline—I just commented over at Glamour, but I just wanted to add that I hope you 2 can have some nice family time in MN, and just know that your “fanbase” is growing everyday, and so many people are thinking of you and wishing you well.
Hugs from Central California to you both
K8–True dat.
p.ss.: You are THE MOST capable/practical MAN that I ever known!!!
Welcome back to the MN. Sorry for the loss of your grandfather.
You’re right – no first time parent knows what they are doing. I certainly don’t! Sorry to hear about your grandpa.
Freakin sweet blog ! And dude you are one INCREDIBLE dad, you’re doing a fantastic job with Madeline, which by the way, is getting more and more beautiful every day, and I won’t even lie to you I LOVE the onesie over pants look. Madeline totally rocked it out:)
I have three kids and am still getting unsolicited advice. Take it with a grain of salt. You are doing swell!
Great article Matt but then when haven’t you written something that was less than stellar?!
About the advice, I’ve learned to just nod and keep on truckin’. I had my three boys within 33 months (they are all 17 months apart) and oh lordy the stuff I have heard. I still have people tell me I have my hands full. My dh and I used to count how many times strangers would tell us that when on an outing. It makes me cringe and want to bop the person over the head. I seriously must have heard that statement well over a couple hundred times now.
Anyhow, don’t let ‘em get to you. You know you are doing a fabulous job with Madeline and that’s all that matters. Fuck the rest of them (I don’t cuss, wow that feels naughty! LOL)
Condolences on your grandfather.
Emers
Hi Matt. Great Storked! entry.
My DH stayed home with our son for almost a year, and EVERY time he left the house, he’d encounter random people with advice. Didn’t matter if DS was clean, happy and dressed to the nines, someone always had something to say. DH gets annoyed at it all, too. The general public just assumes that solo Dads are lost and helpless .. which we all know is just not the case. I was (am?) the clueless one!
Condolences to you and your family for the loss of your Grandfather.
Snuggles to Maddy.
Matt-
I’ve been reading along for weeks, but this is my first post. My 2nd daughter (Chloe) was born a month before Madeline. I can relate to so much of what you’re posting just because our daughters are close in age. But at the same time, so much of what you’re posting I can’t begin to understand. My heart aches knowing how much you’re missing your wife.
Madeline is so beautiful! I’m an “experienced” mom of two girls, but it would have never occurred to me to put the pants under the onesie. I’m going to use that idea.
I admire your beautiful photography (wondering what equipment you use!) and look forward to checking in with you & Madeline everyday.
Kristy from Detroit
I NEVER thought to put the pants under the onesie! My baby is a week older than yours and is very skinny. She hardly wears pants because they fall right off.
You are definitely not the village idiot.
Hey Matt – I have never thought to put the onesie on over the pants! What a GREAT IDEA!! I always roll my daughters pants at the top when they are too big. I think you may have started a new trend.
You are doing a wonderful job!! Wishing you all the best from minnesota!
I happened to LOVE the pants under the onesie! When I saw that picture I thought “Why didn’t I ever think to do that?”
I hope today has been a good one!
Hugs!
@katy: yea kind of…
http://www.glamour.com/lifestyle/blogs/pregnant/2008/06/the-playgroun-1.html#comments
@Andrea V: Sorry for taking the fucks out. I have editors (who I love! Hi ladies and gents) over there and there’s something in the comment user agreement about saying things like Fuck.
XO
Let’s blame pop culture for everybody thinking that men are stupid when it comes to baby-rearing. I mean, look at all those sitcoms where men are bumbling idiots and their wives always have to clean up their messes. Not fair to men, but also not fair to women…as I woman, I want to be a bumbling idiot once in a while and NOT have to be the one who takes care of everything. So Matt, since you’ve abandoned the MN for La-la land, why don’t you start writing scripts…you could develop a really awesome show/movie that bucks stereotypes and portrays fathers (and mothers!) as both totally responsible and totally clueless simultaneously, which I think is how most parents feel.
My husband did the onesie over the pants thing with my skinny mini for the same very practical reason…I will admit it would have never crossed my mind. Brilliant! Plus…I think it looks pretty cute!
My condolences to you and your family for the loss of your grandfather. I hope it is a peaceful trip for you.
you are a great single dad and you have helped me trust my babies single dad.
Tomorrow I’m going to dress my 3 year old in an XL onesie over some awesome pants in your honor. I may even email you a photo.
(I’m serious). Sorry about your g’pa. Awesome post on Storked… and I’m still in awe of you. Just FYI – I have four kids (under age 
and get advice from people (unsolicited, I may add) ALL.THE.TIME. Uh. Yeah. Sometimes if I’m in a really good mood (ie have had a drink or two) I can tolerate it. Other times, (read: the rest of my life) I can’t f’ing stand it. 
Things like, “Do you KNOW how to prevent pregnancy now after 4 kids?) Things like that too. Really pisses me off. People are dumb. 
But not you or your readers. Y’all are way cool. What ever came of the tshirts??? I need one.
I laughed the other day with the pictures from the airport. I could just hear those other people commenting about it! I thought “why didn’t i think of that.” I knew there that to be a reason for it! I use to think that people thought i was a village idiot too! I was young when i had my son(21) but married, i’d get advice all the time. People really need to give parents, single, young or neither a break. Parents know best for their children, nobody else! Except all those wonderful people helping you, they may put their input in(well once in a while) Great article! How about a weekly thing???
Ha! Chrissy I love Jack’s outfit. Of course I am a Yankee fan, and i wear my hats backwards too.
You have a lot of sites listed that I also go to, go figure! AND you live in my hometown!
And Matt, I hope you know I was joking about the onsie on the outside. Hey! Superheroes wear their stuff like that right? Its probably to keep their tights up lol.
Hoping you are feeling better now that you are with family. I bet your Grandpa is really proud of you.
I think we should all email pics of our little ones showing off the Madeline look (onesies over pants). I’m off to go find my camera.
As all the other clueless (aka sleep deprived) mommies that have posted….pants under onesies is an awesome idea. I spent hard earned money on leg warmers because I couldn’t figure out Matt’s male-minded practical idea.
Instead I stood there and wondered why they sold 3 month onesies and pants together and the pants were always too big. Now that our baby is older and I have finally figured out to mix and match…I buy 18 month shirts and 12 month pants. Doh!! Like when everyone buys bikinis???!!! (Just for future reference Matt!
)
Mixing and matching…our friend’s daughter (2 yo) for 4th of July put Sponge Bob sleep pants under her red 4th of July shirt and it was ROCKING!!!!!
It is a pleasure to give advice, humiliating to need it, normal to ignore it.
Source Unknown
That’s a pretty sweet article.
Put the Babylegs on M with a matching onesie and you will get so many compliments, promise!
Very good piece again. Well done.
I SWEAR, when I first saw the pic of the pants UNDER the onesie, I thought – wow, in my 6 years (3 kids) of parenting, I’ve never thought to do that – how smart. I always had tiny babies and pants NEVER fit – lol, that would have been the perfect solution. I have to admit, I wondered if some super-mom gave you that tip. YOU are amazing. I sent a package out a few days ago for miss M.
take care
j
@ Anna in Mpls: You are SO right about it being a media thing…every dad out there is portrayed as a remote-hogging, golf-loving, beer-swilling idiot. Drives me (and my extremely responsible husband) crazy!
Awesome post Matt. I honestly think Madeline will be the coolest chick in high school, one who listens to “underground” music, has her own sense of style, and completely at peace with herself. There’s not a lot of Dads out there who has an epic record collection, wears cool shades (ok fine, my husband has those raybans too), enjoys fine art, cool restaurants, and robots. Combine that with her mom’s beautiful looks, kind heart and spirit…you really can’t go wrong! So, keep doing your thing and expect my son to give Madeline a call in 18 years (he’ll be the cool 20 year old college kid)…and don’t worry he’ll be good
Dude (can you be friends with someone who says dude occasionally?) my first thought with the onesie/pant thing was, super cute and practical a perfect fall fashion trend!
As a chronic Assvice receiver I have learned to just smile and nod and then make up names in my head for the annoying people who think I know nothing.
Longtime reader first time commenter
Matt,
You’re doing a great job – Madeline is lucky to have you. This doesn’t really pertain to this post, I just wanted to tell you how touched I was about what you said about knowing Liz ffrom first date to death for 12 years and 58 days, and how it breaks your heart to know that when 12 years and 59 days rolls around, you’ll have been apart from her longer than you were together.
That thought has been rattling around my head all week. I just want you to know how much of an impact your words have had on me.
I’m sorry to hear about your grandfather. Hopefully the happy times will outnumber the sad times. – Take care – Judy
I liked your article there.. well said.
I read a quote form someone once..
“sure it takes a village to raise a child..
but I have seen the village.”
I get advice all the time.. ovaries and all.. I should say- Five children and all- people see me think I am 12 and offer me advice i would generally never follow-
I may not tow the village line when it comes to parenting- but my eldest are teens now- and as much as I may have feared the days of teenagedness- it is a gift i am thankful for..
because i can see results to some degree.
I have raised WONDERFUL people..
My daughter has a book i thought about buying you (Madeline)- but i figured at Madeline’s age you may have laughed a hardy guffaw and tossed it aside. i am re-considering seeing perhaps you had the same thought as I.
It is a book about your cycle for a girl having her first period.. with journals and tons of info.. and all set up ready to use.. easy..respectful and clear- the best resource I have ever seen for a young girl- and an anxious parent.
I couldn’t agree more – pants under a onsie DO look fuckin’ rad.
Keep doing what you’re doing, because you’re doing an amazing job.
I used to put onesies over pants. My son would pee everywhere if I didn’t! My daughter is 3. She refuses to let me dress her. I let her pick out her clothes. Now, 3 yr olds don’t know about fashion, nor do they care. What they care about is they did it all by themself! People stare. My MIL insists that she be color coordinated. I just let it roll off me.
I have four kids. FOUR! And I still don’t have a clue. Most days all I do is pray. Other days I think I have a handle on it. My kids are ever changing. They have so many different needs. It is impossible for me to fulfill all of them. It wouldn’t matter if I am a male or a female or the village idiot. Raising a child is difficult.
You are doing so great. When I say you are doing great I don’t just mean with Maddy. I mean losing your wife and having a new baby. Each events uniquely difficult. You don’t crawl up with Maddy and stay in bed. You give her a life. You take her to muesums and baseball games. That is beautiful. That is something we should all aspire to. That’s what I mean by great.
I hope you have a safe trip. *hugs* to Maddy!
Just wanted to send my condolences to you and your family…so sorry to hear about your grandpa.
Thinking about all of you and sending good thoughts your way.
*hugs* to you and Madeline
That’s so awesome– pants under a onesie! I’m totally going to do that with my next baby. Maddie is going to be such a trendsetter. Hey, if leggings can come back into style, then anything’s possible!
rock on, Matt. I like the pants under onesie idea so much I might buy a leotard myself so I can replicate it. I only wish I’d thought of it when my toddler was still wearing onesies — that’s a perfect solution to too-big baby pants!!
Thanks for the reality check about not giving dads unsolicited advice (or at least — not more than you would moms — everybody tells parents of newborns what to do, it seems). You’re doing a kick-ass job and those moms who boss you around unasked could learn many things from you and Maddie.
You fucking ROCK!!!! Sorry to hear about your grandpa. Hope you have a nice visit with family.
XOXOX
Hey Matt,
I have been following along for a while now. Every time I go to write something I end up deleting it.
I just wanted you to know I think you are AWESOME! You are creating amazing memories for Madeline, one day she will be looking back and read all this and think “holy shit my dad rocks”!
I think the onesie idea is awesome. I have slim little ladies too and I never thought of it.
You can tell in every picture, that every second of every day you have Madeline wrapped in much more then just clothing, she is wrapped in love! Take care
Next will be the big debate…does the onesie go under or over tights? Funny, how people have such adamant opinions on such mundane things. Personally, I usually did the onesie over the tights to elminate the “low crotch factor”. Who likes it when your tights, hose whatever is hanging down inches from where it should be?
Anyway, I’m sure you will continue to gets lots of advice over the years. People just like to give advice period. Not only baby related but in general. Ask people for a meatloaf recipe and you’ll get 100 different recipes all claiming their’s to be the best. So take what you need or like, stow away some other advice and some you can let fall to the side. Only you know how to best raise Madeline and so far you’re doing a kick ass job!
I’ll let you in on another secret – even people who have become parents the second, third, etc time around don’t have any idea what they’re doing. Unsolicited feedback is the worst and usually doesn’t end up working anyways! I think that you’re doing a wonderful job – Madeline gives my 4 week old daughter something to aspire to.
I loved the article in the Glamour blog! Excellent.
You’re right, our society doesn’t give Dads enough credit whether they are single OR not.
loved the storked blog… you’re my HERO!
wish you were back in the mn for happier reason…
I am sorry to hear about your Grampa. Grampa’s are awesome and I miss mine nearly everyday.
Love the glamour article. Strangers assumptions can be so irritating, I know. Unfortunately I’ve been caught up once or twice offering up assvice without even thinking. Some of us mothers think we know it all. Also, I never give my husband enough credit and you remind me of that everytime I read your blog.
You’re such a kick ass guy.
I JUST HAD TO ECHO YA ON THE ONESIE AND PANTS: I THOUGHT IT WAS STYLIE AS HELL AND WONDERED WHY I HADNT THOUGHT OF IT FOR MY GAL! BESIDES IF YOUVE GOT A WICKED LITTLE ONESIE ON, WHY WOULD YOU WANA COVER IT WITH PANTS HIKED UP TO YOUR FREAKING EARS.
Great article Matt! I love the logic of the pants under the onsies…and you handle all of those “helpful” people treating you like the village idiot far better than I ever could! I’d be whipping out sarcasm like a weapon!
I really enjoyed the Glamour article – I also liked seeing the few new photos you put on Flickr of Liz…I love getting to hear about her and seeing her photos….she seems like an awesome woman- who is married to an amazing & awesome man that is handling it all with a grace few could. Kudos!
Again I”m so sorry to hear that your grandfather passed away. I hope you’ll have a safe and easy trip back home.
Oh – and not one f-bomb in the post – whoa! :0)
Hi Matt’n'Maddy,
I’ve just read your posts for the first time and been blown away-your strength of character is testament to Liz’s good judgement, life throws this s**t at you and you fight on for her, and her daughter . Much love to the both of you from across the sea xx
Matt,
The tattoos are perfect and powerful. What a searingly beautiful idea.
Sorry to hear about your grandfather, Matt. Lots of hugs to you and Madeline.
I thought these might make you smile.
http://flickr.com/photos/hello_naomi/2239866151/in/set-72157603844403684/
Miracles.
wonderful things ,really, if you believe in them, not so much if you don’t.
I’m thinking I do. Come on…The Netherlands, Texas, Argentina, Minnesota, California, what more could you want? Awesome people from awesome places.
The ONLY time I wish I could give parents advice is when they are spanking their one, two and three year old’s for something. Holy Christ!
Let the kid learn the hard way and take them home for a damn nap!!!!
MeM
Looking ahead on flickr again. Did Madeline get to help with the tatting? She’s mighty dexterous for a 3 month old.
Fer serious though, thanks for once again letting us creeps in on the ways in which you are grieving/healing/honoring Liz. It’s a beautiful thing to behold.
Grace
you hail from wayne? WORD.
At tuggs if ur are still in town…stop by, its not nye’s, but the patio rocks!!!
Word UP my friend. I read your story and it seems that the Wayne gossip machine still hasnt changed.
Though I knew that, because I am still basically in the area and still talk to most of my high school friends.
You are more my baby bro’s age though, so I wasnt in the loop with that fiasco. I woulda kicked some ass for you xo! I am not going to ask him about it because I would hate to think he had a part in it and I would have to kick HIS ass however lol.
I read your blog before I read your Glamour mag article, so I was pleased to see you explained your reasoning for the pants under the onesie. Not that I or anyone else needed the explanation, but I do admit that when I saw it, I wondered, WTF? Even though it looked adorable. And I’m a follower. I’ll be doing it with my baby #2 for sure.
I really do feel bad that you so many people say things to you like you don’t know what you were doing. I would NEVER even think to say things to people about how to parent, whether they were man or woman. In fact, as a woman traveling alone with a child, I’ve had some pretty annoying advice, such as a 50-something man asking me if (and then why not?) I wasn’t nursing my baby. I think some people just don’t know how to keep their opinions to themselves and they are always looking for a way to tell someone else how they would do it…no matter if the advice is welcome or not.
I’ve been keeping up with you for several months now, and I am amazed each and every day by you. It’s been an amazing life experience for me to walk with you in your grief. I wish I would never had met you, (because then Liz would be here) but I’m sure glad I did.
a quote i love:
“Be careful whose advice you buy and be patient with those who supply it…advice is a form of nostalgia – dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts, and recycling it for more then its worth…”
AWESOME GLAM ARTICLE!!
aloha friend.
Matt I have been reading your blog and I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your experience with all of us. I am a single mom of two precious boys and I know the struggles that are there (my circumstances are much different) and I read your blog and I am inspired. My best wishes to you and you are a wonderful father.
not sure if my last comment will post – (lost internet connection) buuut i said that i love this quote:
“Be careful whose advice you buy and be patient with those who supply it…advice is a form of nostalgia – dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts, and recycling it for more then its worth…”
and that the glam article was amazing (as ususal) and that i am praying for you!!
be blessed. aloha!
Matt,
I’ve written several comments, but never hit post – didn’t know that I could say anything that anyone else hadn’t already – and with as much style. Here goes. But I’ve been thinking a lot about your family lately and wanted to comment.
Life delivered a gut-wrenching punch to you, Maddy and a lot of other people. But I’m assuming that had you known the outcome 12 years ago, you would have done it again. Think about it – YOU knew Liz better than anyone – and did for 12 years and 58 days. How lucky is that?!?
I’ve read comments from so many people that say they wish they had known Liz while she was alive (myself included), but you did. And because of you, so have we.
Liz is proud. Everyone is cheering you on. We all love reading about your days and seeing pics of Maddy. We’d all love to hear more stories about Liz (if you’ll allow). You’re doing a fabulous job.
Good things do come out of bad situations – you have gained the biggest group of friends EVER! And you and Maddy will have a relationship that will be unique and cherished forever. Liz is part of her which is wonderful, and through you she will grow and become the woman that you and Liz dreamed of.
Hope you have a great week! And loved the Glamour post!
Tami, you said it so eloquently. I also feel as though I know Matt, Madeline and Liz through Matt’s blog and it feels as though I have met some amazing friends through these posts. Thank you, Matt, for letting us cry and laugh with you and learn about parenthood through you words. God bless you.
I have beem following your story since Storked first linked me to it……WOW…you are truly an amazing individual, and I can’t wait for Maddie to enter her interactive phase, you are going to have a blast!! I have a four year old son, and may I say, never onetime did I EVER think of putting the onesie OVER his too big pants (he had short little legs too!)…..what a PRACTICAL, BRILLIANT, and adorable way to solve a problem! Thank you for sharing your life. Hang in there…children bring out the best in us.
The fucking tats rock! I love that. I love it even more that they are in her handwriting. Love it.
I really like the tattoos Matt! I also liked that it was in Liz’s handwriting, like some others have said. It was like putting something concrete in the world with something that was so monumental, like a living memorial to Liz. Very cool.
PS. I think you are doing a hell of a job with Baby Madeline. I had a trick to wear head phones (even if they weren’t on) and then people didn’t bother me on the airlines.
I have a funny story for you: When my son was almost 2, I took him to California to visit a friend. Well, the cheapest flight was a red-eye in the early morning. (FYI- early morning usually doesn’t mean “happy kid”.) So, after going through all of the security and crap, he lost his patience right when we were boarding.
He decided he wanted to go on the BROWN plane that was next to us, and not the plane we were on!! He started screaming that he wanted the BROWN plane!! I couldn’t calm him down, no matter what I did. But, fortunately for US a stranger seated behind us started to tickle his arm, and then gave him a piece of gum. Very cool. It was so helpful of her just to do it, and quiet him down, rather than have someone say, “shut that kid up!” Another time, coming back from Mexico, my daughter was a baby and had an ear infection. She was crying so hard and the only thing that would calm her was to walk with her. After about an hour of doing this, a kind old grandpa man stood up and said, “why don’t you sit down, and let me take over?” It was so nice to have him walk her around for the next hour!
So, maybe the helpful strangers are yet to come in your future.
Matt -
I’ve been lurking for a while, and haven’t known what to say. My sympathies are with you and Madeline, as well as your extended families.
I just read your post over at Glamour, and wanted to let you know – we moms get the unsolicited advice all the time, too. You may not notice it as much, as I think people are more sneaky when they try to “share their thoughts” with a mom, but yes, we feel your pain.
I’m sure they think you are “dad on his first outing with the baby,” and I have no solution for that one, for you… But just know you aren’t alone in your feelings.
RC
p.s. My sympathies on the loss of your grandfather, too. As a firefighter, I’m pleased to hear his station honored him with a memorial service.
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