(notice the onesie over the matching pants).
been sort of
dreading this day.
have to get madeline
a passport for our
upcoming trip to the banff.
excited that my
3.5 month-old baby
will have a passport
and will be traveling
outside the country.
also really excited
about the trip,
but i’ve found that
dealing with government
institutions is less than
thrilling since
liz
died.
applying for a passport
for a minor shouldn’t
be an issue.
the rules dictate that
both parents must be physically
present for a passport
application to be filed.
for most families,
this is likely just
an extreme inconvenience,
trying to find a time
when both parents
can meet in the same place,
to focus on the same objective,
at the same time.
but for me,
it’s a process that creates
an extreme amount of anxiety.
anxious about walking
into the passport
office with
madeline’s birth certificate,
social security card.
and, um, her mother’s
death certificate,
anxious about explaining
why i’m alone.
anxious about trying to
convince the people
in the office
that i’m not trying to
obtain a passport
in order to
kidnap my child,
and take her out
of the country.
anxious about talking
to another unflinchingly cold
government employee.
anxious about dealing with
another bureaucratic nightmare.
shit.
maybe i’m worrying about
this a little too much?
let’s just go.
it can’t be
that bad.
packed up madeline
and headed to the glendale.
found the passport office
and sat down
with all my paperwork,
filling in everything
but the boxes
asking for madeline’s
hair color
(sort of blond, sort of bald…how do i answer that one?)
and the ones
specific to
liz.
no box to check
for “deceased.”
just gonna have to
rely on the rather
colorful-looking
death certificate
to help the woman
behind the counter understand
my situation.
nervously walked up
to the counter
and said,
“i need to apply for a passport for my baby”
she looked me
up and down,
(yes, i look like an unshowered scumbag in need of haircut, but seriously…)
then leaned over the counter,
through the open glass,
staring down at madeline.
then her eyes shot
back to me.
“is the mother coming in?”
fuck.
here we go.
“no. she’s dead.”
she simply stared at me.
no reaction.
after a very uncomfortable
few seconds that found
another seemingly heartless
government worker
winning yet another
staring contest with me
(seriously…do they train these people to be unresponsive robots?).
i said,
“i have a death certificate.”
“give it to me.”
she demanded.
so i did.
awesome.
let’s just get
this over with.
she looked everything
over and disappeared
with my documents.
back 5 mins later
and we’re done.
good…i’ve had
enough for one day.
took madeline to the
grocery store so
we could use up some of
the $1,000,000 in formula
coupons we’ve received
(thanks to everyone!).
the woman at the register
asked me if these were
my wife’s checks.
said yes at first
to avoid having to
tell another stranger the
story, plus the line
behind me was
quite long.
but the woman gave me
a strange look
when she noticed that
the formula checks
each had a different
woman’s name on them.
shit.
now i look like a polygamist.
what did my mom always
say about lying?
should have just told
her the woman the truth.
feeling the stares,
nervous about holding up the line
of people behind me,
i told her the story.
wife dead.
thousands of amazing
strangers making sure
i never go out of
pocket to feed my
baby.
no robot here.
this woman was sympathetic,
even kind, letting me
use a few expired checks.
she obviously wouldn’t
be a very good govt.
employee, but she’s
a pretty damn good
human being.
feeling a little better
we went home
and listened to
that new album
from the hold steady.
madeline seems to
like it.
later it was time
to head to the old
neighborhood to get
daddy a haircut.
madeline insisted it
was too long…
i brought madeline with
me this time so everyone
could see her again
or in some cases,
finally meet her.
plus, this was one
of her mom’s
favorite places on
earth so i figure she
should check it out.
made it there
and the ladies were
damn excited to
see us madeline.
a few of the ladies
hung out with madeline
while jeanette went to work
on my hair.
20 mins and a
great conversation later,
we were done.
jeanette said,
“a new haircut for a new life.”
indeed.
i like it, but
i’m not sure how
madeline felt about it:
tried to talk the ladies into
having dinner with us,
using the old,
“you can hold madeline”
line as the incentive.
it worked.
we took a little walk
and found a place
to eat.
had a great time with
the ladies, talking about
life with and without
liz.
some tears, lot of laughter.
madeline was awake
the entire time.
she loves being held
by other people.
at least that’s what i
used to think…
i realized tonight that she
loves to be held by others, yes,
but facing
forward, just so
she can
look at me.
a great feeling…
we’re obviously best buds.
finished up dinner,
said goodbye to jeanette and jennifer
and headed home,
where we spent the night
making each other
smile and laugh,
just maddy, daddy
and a whole
bunch of music.
185 Comments
I am so glad you had a great night!
You deserve it!
I love the picture of her all wide eyed.
So tell us…what did cold hearted, stick up my ass, haven’t been with a man in 20 odd years decide Madelines hair color was since they don’t have a spot for bald, but blond?
Really, it has to be that tough just to take your baby on a vacation? Geesh.
Your post made me cry and laugh today…love how your writing can always do that.
Madeline is getting SO big and, if possible, prettier every day.
Sending you lots of good vibes today and thinking lots of happy thoughts of Liz!
*hugs* to you and Miss M
oops…that should have read what did the cold hearted, stick up my ass, haven’t been with a man in 20 odd years Government worker….
I need to better proof read
lovely post, matt. your new haircut looks awesome.
maddy and daddy—too cute.
this made me smile, well all except the passport deal. i’m glad it wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be. you’re such a great dad, i hope you know that.
Love the new do Matt…….and Maddie’s reaction to the haircut picture had me laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes. You are hilarious and it’s fun that you have found your sense of humor in these sometimes difficult times. Thanks for sharing. Can’t wait to see Maddie’s passport picture. Maybe you’ll use the Maddie staring at Daddy’s haircut photo…..heeeee heeeee
I’m looking forward to hearing all your adventures on your trip. Have a wonderful time.
You know I didn’t even notice the onsie on the outside until you said something. I can’t wait to use this incredible piece of advice once my chance hits.
Cheers.
Fuck Tuesday.
Go Pork!
Fuck Jill.
wow, makes me dislike the govt even more. unbelievable! do they lose a bonus check if they show emotion or something?
maddy’s as cute as ever!
She is definitely a daddy’s girl! How SWEET!
I’d love to post, but I’m on my way to the Glendale to go medieval on that “lady” at the passport office.
Fucking piece of shit.
Great pic of Maddy’s reaction your haircut, I was laughing out loud at my desk… my 6 month old has the same reaction to being caught off guard with a flash
Keep up the AWESOME work!!!
P.S… I am one of those 1,000,000 women who sent ya some formula coupons!
@Kate – Pick me up on Zed’s hog on your way!
gotta throw in another post…today’s update made me laugh out loud (minus the whole passport period…) glad that one only took 5 minutes…the haircut piece was priceless! you’re doing an amazing job, matt…here’s to a fucking amazing 2008 part two.
Matt – your new haircut looks great. The picture of Madeline’s reaction was hilarious.
What a pain to have to deal with government employees over and over…
Glad to hear the lady at the register let you use those formula checks – they get quite snippy about those things.
Best Buds…that is how i feel about my daughter. I truly love hanging out with her. She told me the other day I was her best friend (she is not even 3 yet) and that was the most wonderful thing anyone in my entire life has said to me. I am so happy for you… you and Maddie are making a connection that goes so deep, she is a lucky little girl to have a daddy like you.
First, Maddy’s outfit looks like a one piece, not 2 put together! Awesome, love it.
Second, her picture, the buggin eyes. I laughed out loud, I so needed that, thanks Maddy!
You’re making it Matt, slowly but surely, you’re making it. You’ve got a world of stranger friends cheering you on. Keep it up….
Love the new haircut and Madline’s sweet smiles. So sorry the getting the passport was difficult. You continue to amaze and inspire me. Sending you both love from Montana!
You are such a rock star at traveling with Maddy! I haven’t even taken my 10 month old on a plane yet, but you are an inspiration! Oh, and your hair looks great. But I actually started writing to tell you that I heard a kid’s song about robots today and thought of you. The song totally blew, or else I would send it to y’all!
Everytime there is an uncaring robot God puts a kind human being in our path. Thank Goodness for that! That woman probably felt great about herself after you left the grocery store too. Have a great trip!
oh Banff! I’m sooo excited for you – and for US to see your pictures of what is surely one of the most beautiful places on earth! Though I’m not sure if Miss M. needed a passport just yet – God forbid that asshole gov’t employee would ever tell you such a thing – I recently read this…
A reader just called asking for guidance on using a passport expediter. She’s headed to Canada — soon. We pointed her to two reliable services, A Briggs Passport and Visa and Zierer Visa Service.
I should point out that the reader is flying to and from Canada. Adults going by land or sea can still get away with a government-issued photo i.d. (usually a driver’s license) and a birth certificate; children 18 and younger need only a birth certificate. That will change June 1, 2009, when everyone entering by air, land or sea will need a passport.
We recommend getting your passports now. For information on getting a passport and to print out application forms, go to http://www.travel.state.gov.
____________
Anyway – have a great day Matt – as always – love and hugs from the MN!
Hi. I just got back from vacation in Seattle from the 17th until yesterday. I missed you. Sounds like you had a few ups and downs but that in the end you made it through another day.
m. is smiling and almost laughing now. How awesomez is that? She is wonderful and so are you.
yeah…i’m in the top 20 this time. lots of smiles are the best when coming from your little one. lots of love the st. paul!!!! : )
Have a wonderful trip. The picture of Madeline looking at your new haircut was hysterical. Thanks for sharing your life so freely.
I think your Awesome….
Your haircut looks great. I’m so glad you got her passport. I hate dealing with government employees they are enough to send a person over the edge.
HOLA Matt
As always… a GREAT POST!
It is amazingly beautiful to read/see the STRONG bond that you both have!
Knowing FOR SURE that you have started the BEST 2008-part deux .
Your new hair cut looks great on you!
Maddy is a beauty princess!!
Besos y abrazos
Sol
p.s. Don’t worry about YOUR govt. employee HERE are even worse!!!!
love the new “do”
little known fact…gov workers must go through a painful operation similiar to a lobotomy…side effect…. absolutely no fuckin emotion left.
Matt, I don’t post often, but I faithfully read your blog. you never fail to make me laugh and cry with each entry. I have said it before, and i will say it again…..you are an amazing dad and Madeline is SO lucky to have you. I hope you two have a wonderful trip….how great that she is traveling so much right from the start. My husband refuses to travel so we never go anywhere and I feel deprived, i would love to be able to show my children the world. Madeline sure is growing up……she is becoming quite the little beauty. I can tell from photos you have posted of Liz that Madeline favors her greatly.
Matt, it is hard to understand how people can be so heartless. SO sad. I am THRILLED that you will NEVER be like that. I can just about imagine what LIz would say to all this…umm-I cannot say it here, but you know….
oh my…I laughed SO hard at Maddy’s reaction to your haircut….by the way-it REALLY looks good!!!
you are doing a great job Matt….I am keeping up the prayers for each day for you.
blessings!!!
tami from Siegel Brill in MN
I love it–you and Maddie—best buds!!! Isn’t that the greatest! I know exactly what you mean!
her pic in response to your haircut–HILARIOUS!!!!
Honestly–I am still in shock over the passport lady’s response to your situation–how can anyone with a heart just go about their merry way in response to your situation. I am so sorry! Hooray for the cashier at the grocery store—a reminder that anyone can make a difference!!!
She’s the cutest little thing. They grow so fast–it’s plain to see she adores you.
madeline’s response to your haircut is priceless! maybe she’s just wondering when hers will grow long enough so you can get matching hairdos?
i stumbled across your blog last friday and read the entire thing in a day…i just couldn’t stop reading. thank you so much for sharing your story with the world, you have no idea how many people you (and liz) have inspired and touched.
i have so much respect and empathy for you, and it’s very clear to see why maddy thinks the world of you!
that sounds like a pretty wonderful day… once you got past the evil government robot. you deserve many more wonderful days and a whole lot less tuesdays.
and i’m sure you’ve probably already gotten a wealth of compliments, but i have to say the hair looks terrific. i definitely approve… apparently madeline’s verdict is still out.
(great picture!)
I especially love your daughter’s “deer in the headlights” look. She must have been working on that diligently when you were up in the Minnesota.
- Suzanne, the Farmer’s Wife
Oh, enjoy Banff!! So glad you were able to get the passport stuff out of the way – if I were behind you in line when you were dealing with those people, I would have shot them some not-so-nice looks for you. Some people.
The new do is great!! And Madeline’s reaction made me laugh out loud here at work – too cute!! I love that you catch stuff like that on camera. Its awesome.
You two ARE best buds. It is so clear. And you are still doing an amazing job.
LOVE the new hair cut! They did a wonderful job. As for the passport people, screw them.
Wow, she’s getting so big. You two make a good team.
I almost spit Dr. Pepper on my puter when you did the caption of Maddy looking at your haircut.
I saw the picture before because I am a cheater and I always look at your flicker page awaiting your next post, but that was hilarious.
Hope you are having a great day Maddy & Daddy!
Had tears in my eyes and a big smile on my face with today’s post.
Love the hair.
Maddy and daddy sure do deserve to be best friends and deserve smiles and laughs which = happiness
That little girl gets cuter every single day! Getting a passport is NEVER fun. Glad ya’ll had a good day!
I feel bad about your experience applying for a passport. My husband is a passport specialist, he’s the one that actually approves passports once the applications are sent in and although I understand the two parent rule, it still isn’t fair that you had to go through that. I’m currently pregnant with our second and often wonder what type of father he would be to our children if something were to happen to me. I can only hope that he would be as good as a father as you are!
God this is my favourite entry for a while, dunno why.
I couldn’t imagine any assistant refusing a few coupons for baby formula!
she’d have to be a right mongrel!
Madelene’s face at your haircut is magic!
Good morning, Maddy and Matt!
Glad your trip to passport office was quick and (not so) painless.
You made me laugh with the startled Maddy pic. You have a great sense of humor through it all.
Continuing to cheer you and Maddy on
@The Aitch: welcome back! We missed you!
@Christa: STOP! You are *killing* me with your pork talk and relentless fucking of Jill!
Welcome to Canada!!! Woohoo – I’m glad that Maddy’s first passport trip is to beautiful Banff.
My heart goes out to the two of you everytime I read your posts (and then some). HUGS!
Ha ha, I love that photo where Madeline looks rather surprised! She looks as though she wants to say “but Daddy where did you hair go?!” either that or she is imagining what she can get to say as a future teenager “Dad, that hairstyle is definitely not cool, you can walk a few yards behind me!”
Now, I know the passport office types deal with all kinds of crazy people trying to do all kinds of crazy sh*t. By now they should be able to realize what’s a lie and what’s the truth. You can’t make that sh*t up! The government, can’t live with them, can’t kill them.
Madeline gets more lovely with every post.
I’m a government worker and yes, we are trained in that staring thing. It’s part of my annual job performance review.
Also, I gasped in sheer delight when I saw the Madeline photo after your haircut.
Also, “maddy, daddy and a whole bunch of music” is a great title for the new half year.
Love the new haircut! Love the pic of Maddy wide eyed too funny LOL… So glad that you and Maddy are best buds! I know exactly what you mean!
Keep each other happy and smiling! 
You’re doing an amazing job with Maddy and Liz would be so proud of you! Maddy gets cuter by the day!
Banff! I am jealous. It’s the most beautiful place I’ve ever been. Granted, I haven’t been that many places outside of North America, but still. Get out your baby sling and do some hiking and post every single photo, please.
Love from Minneapolis,
Jennifer
PS How is the new Hold Steady album? I loved their first two but “Boys and Girls in America” didn’t do all that much for me as an album. Loved a few individual songs on it, but it didn’t hang together that well for me (esp. considering how well those old lifter puller albums worked). Anyway, would appreciate a CD review along with those Banff pics. You know, in your spare time.
aw, I’m sorry that they were so… unemotional. I swear that’s why the governement has never hired me; I wear my heart on my sleeve.
Love the new haircut. My son loves to stare at his dad’s hair, especially when he gets it cut
Hey Hey Hey Matt…I’m a gov’t employee of this fine state of Cali…I’m soooo offended! j/k I can relate…try working with them all day, it sucks. But I work hard for my money! =)
Ok that’s my 2 cents, take care!
Melis
Love the Government, my husband died, they gave me a flag, my house burns down they try to save the flag…Fuck the Flag and the Government! I promise, you will finally be able to put the death certificate away. After 13 months of living without a dad – I can finally introduce B wihout his father’s death certificate. PS. You should have pointed out your attempt at a fashion statement with Madeline’s clothes and maybe the Government lady would have smiled. Love you kiddo.
look at you trend setter! i love maddys look with the onesie over the pants. when my peanut was little she wore a long sleeve white onesie under all of her short sleeve ones!
also love the new look for you.
you two are totally BFF! love that she’s already giving you that “oh geez, dad, you’re embarrassing me” look. that’s part of her job as your daughter as much as it is your job to pull stunts that make her hope none of her friends are watching! you two are so cute!
Matt,
your whole post was quiet serious, and I was tearing, then I got to the picture of maddy’s reaction to your hair cut and i lost it. God is there anything better than a befuddled look on a babies face, I would put that one in your wallet for showing off, I love it!
They seriously have asshole training at the government offices. It’s mandatory, kind of like sexual harassment training.
Maddy is so cute and getting so big! I’ve been following you for a while now. Sounds like the day ended really nice. Like the new do!
That after haircut picture is soo darn cute!
I love that Madeline has to keep you in her sights. You two are amazing together.
great haircut! very hip. glad you had a good day, you deserve about 17,655,956,564,253,546,576,553 more of them.
hugs from NJ,
erica and Landon
She’s simply beautiful. Sorry about the bureaucratic bullshit. I teach HS English-have to deal with a lot of those people unfortunately. Down with the haters!
“we’re obviously best buds”…that says it all!!
OMG, the picture of her with her eyes wide open cracked me up. She sure loves her Daddy…even if she’s not sure about his new haircut.
Thanks for the kick ass post and pictures, not sure how you find the time to do all this. I have to bribe my daughter (7 yrs.) with Webkinz to entertain her baby bro bro (8 months) while I use the computer.
Onesie over pants is genius.
The government must give all their employees a lobotomy and remove part of their souls before putting them to work (apologies to anyone who works in government for that broad, sweeping, uninformed generalization).
Some people suck, but karma’s a bitch.
God, that picture of the two of you is priceless. I like the haircut! Sorry about the password fiasco.
“just maddy, daddy and a whole bunch of music.”
What a great way to end the day!
Amy from Louisville, KY.
I like the haircut!
but I literally laughed out loud when i saw the shot of Madeline’s ‘reaction’..
and not the laughed our loud followed by a couple exclamation marks and the number one.
lol!!1
but the kind that made my dog jump behind me.
Your coming to the great white north are yee?
Well I am officially inviting you to my neck of the woods.
Since I live on the clitoris of the universe..
old growth rain forest- ocean.. mountain..
lots of beautiful people.
You are welcome here.. I would happily put you and Madeline yup at a B&B if you felt like taking a Ocean deture- yes same ocean you live at.. but a different perspective… and a lot of love.
Best buds! I love it. Madeline obviously loves her daddy. Very, very much.
she is adorable and your new hair looks great
Matt, nice haircut. I laughed so hard when I saw the next picture of Maddy. That stinks that your experiences with government employees have been so harsh. I work for the state and am sending lots of happy thoughts your way!!!
First time commentor/long time reader! Gosh, the photos of Madeline today are just so stinkin adorable!! Love the wide-eye shot =) Too funny! She looks so much like her mommy in these shots! What a lucky little girl to have such a gem as a daddy!
That picture of Madeline made me laugh out loud at my desk. Great. Now everyone at work thinks I am crazy and talking to my computer again. Oh well. It was worth it. Great new haircut. Why the trip to Banff?
Matt-
like your new “do” – F’ing LOVED Maddy’s reaction!
Awesome picture man
Gotta go meet Kate from the Northridge at the g-ment office, got to teach that Gov’t lady some manners!!!!
Matt – I haven’t commented in a long time, but I’m still here. Each and every day. Madeline is amazingly beautiful and she clearly LOVES her daddy. Hold on to that, Matt, and keep doing what you’re doing! You’re fantastic!
@Christa in the V – I always chuckle when I read your posts. Particullarly the end, there is an awful lot of “fucking” going on . . . .
Looking great Matt. And Maddy, as always, is so adorable!
It really is a shame that someone working with people for a living has to be so rude! Don’t you have to wonder what the rest of their life is like. When I am out and about with my girls, it drives me up a wall when people can’t extend simple courtousy (thank you for holding a door, or excuse me when walking by you closely in the store). I am trying to raise polite caring kids. Sorry, just a small rant.
Glad to see so many smiles from you both Matt!
I promise, all of us government workers aren’t cold hearted! Just the old ones! I cannot believe that Maddy is going international! She is one lucky girl! (In that first haircut pic I thought you had a fauxhawk, thank god you do not!)
Ick, ick, ick about the government employee giving you the stare down. To bad most are like that…but in their defense, NOT ALL. Anywho…great haircut…looks very nice, despite Maddy’s seeming to being unsure of it! Hehe..that is a great picture. I’m glad you got the passport application done and out of the way. I know it must have been beyond difficult. Another mountain climbed. Her outfit looks cute…and even with the onesie OUT of the pants.
) You’re starting a new trend. lol.
For an additional stare, you should have brought in the robot to take a pic with the government cock-sucker (or maybe she needs to suck one sometime soon…) – nah, the robot is too good for that shit.
wow, i hope i did some damage on your cuss-o-meter with that.
the new ‘do is ROCKIN’!!
I’m glad the passport office wasn’t too bad of an ordeal. I like your new haircut! You’re definitely briliant for thinking up the too-big pants under the onesie idea!!
The Banff? Okay, perhaps this is a sign I should post something, as I’ve been reading (and laughing (hello, wide eyed picture!!) and crying and just plain thinking about you, your story, your daughter and your taste in music and robots) for some time now.
My husband and I live in (The) Calgary which is super close to (The) Banff. If you’d like a friendly place to hang out on your way (if you plan on stopping) or perhaps even a visit in Banff, we’d be honored.
OMG! I haven’t laughed so hard in a very long time. I read “i like it, but i’m not sure how madeline felt about it:” and then scrolled down. That is priceless! You two seem to be having so much fun together. It’s so sweet to read about and see. Just wait until she can actually comment on things like haircuts!
Sort of blond, sort of bald – very cute. LOVE the new haircut – looks great on you! And I’m sorry to hear about the entire passport experience – some people are heartless, but luckily it’s over. Glad you had a good dinner and some new tunes!
Matt you are one handsome gent with that new haircut. Maddy as always is adorable and her look with your new haircut is hilarious.
Have a great day.
I wonder if you will ever get to the point, like I did after my mother’s death, where my story will crack the shell of the hard hearted and the telling of it will give me some sense of “you asked, now you get.” Your passport woman will have her karmic backlash. If not in reality, then in internet-land where thousands of people will wish bad juju on her for being so callus when an honest dad came up to apply for an honest US document for his GORGEOUS daughter so he could honestly take her on a trip. Perhaps we could all be more like people who take expired coupons if only to help out a fellow human being. Hmmmm?
Daddy and Maddy! And what a pair you are! Those eyes of hers! WOW!
Hey, I don’t know when you are in Banff but if it’s not for another month, I’m back in Calgary after August 23rd and would be more than happy to lend you baby crap if I can help out. You have to fly into Calgary anyway. However, you might have all this taken care of and you might be here in the next 2 weeks. Anyway, this might be weird but I just thought I’d offer. Email me if there’s anything I can do after the 23rd.
Cheers,
Tiffany (been reading for 3 weeks or so now)
Matt, your hair looks great! And I just know you and Madeline will have a great time at Banff. I was just there a week ago and it is so beautiful. I can’t wait to see the pictures you take up there. If you have time, you should go up a little farther and see Lake Louise and Moraine Lake too.
Nice new lid
Have you noticed how fucking awesome it is that no matter where you say you’re going, you’ve got a creepy follower there ready to meet you and take you in (e.g. see Amanda G. above and “the Banff”). You and Maddy could be the most adored duo in the world. In fact, if you and Maddy ran for president (I’m not sure who should be front-runner, you two can work that out), you’d probably win. And then you could officially cancel Tuesdays!
Disclaimer: The use of the word “creepy” in the above post is once again not meant to be construed as “fightin’ words.”
Love the new haircut! Very handsome!
Laughed out loud (at work) at the pic of Maddy’s reaction to it…(yeah I look like a moron)
Man sometimes people really suck… I cant imagine being as unfeeling as your govt worker. Some people. Glad your day ended on a happy note.
I am de-lurking.
Doing so because this post was such a great example of how life can be both awful and amazing and sometimes it is all about the credit we choose to give to each experience.
You are doing a great job with your beautiful daughter.
love your sense of humor and the indispensable sarcasm. your tone is so good to hear. this whole part two thing was a really great idea. you are going to continue to be a great team and she likely will always be your best bud… (even if there are a few years in high school when she acts like she is too cool for you.) much laughter and light to you both.
Maddy and daddy… and the two of you damn lucky to have each other. She’s more beautiful by the day. Ready to travel the world for sure.
My husband has been known to put the onesie over the pants before. LOL
Sometimes it is just necessary to find the grocery check out lady after all the gov. workers in our lives.
Loving the big eye picture.
The new haircut looks great. Madeline is beautiful, as always!
Hi! sorry you had such a shitty experience at the gov’t. office. I work for the gov. and I am human. I know what you mean about the way they treated you! I am so so sorry!! I guess it all stems from them being taught not to question! I on the other hand say F them and I do help people in my office and treat them like human beings.
Maddy is adorable and your haircut looks great!! keep up the awesome job!
Hi Matt,
If you have the time, he would be thrilled to meet a potential new girlfriend. When are you going to be in our neck of the woods?
You are now going to be bombarded by a bunch of crazy Canucks…mark my words. To that end, I’ve never posted on your blog before, but due to your making a trip to Banff, I feel compelled. I’ve been reading it now for a couple months, and am in awe of your strength, and your complete honesty.
We (my little guy, Riley and I) would LOVE to meet up with you if you are so inclined. He’s never been to Banff either.
Cheers!
Matt, your new haircut looks great! So sorry to hear about the cold heartless government employee. I work for the government myself and just for the record we are not all like her! Shame on her! So happy you have your best bud to get you thru the hard times. Enjoy Banff, it is beautiful there.
@standing still- “Bad juju” – my brother and I use that term and other people think we are crazy- LOVE IT, LOVE USING IT, and wishing all I can toward the stupid Gov’t lady…
@matt- love the h/c and laughed so loudly I woke my -finally- asleep 3 yr old at the pic of Maddy after your h/c!! Fuck!
I think the cuss-o-meter is broken, which is so fucking funny to me
Top haircut! And bah, humbug to the stupid woman at the passport office. We flew back to the UK from Seattle for a holiday with Jonah at 4 months – 2 Englanders with an American baby – and wondered, too, if we’d be stopped for trying to “kidnap” our own child. Bureaucracy – always such a joy.
I thought of you today at the kids’ teatime. Jonah (2 and a half these days) carefully took his slices of ham off his plate, wrapped one round each arm, then lifted his arms to his mouth and ate them. A true pork fiend – apparently I’m raising him in my own image. He’s definitely going to grow up to be a double-pork-products-at-breakfast kinda kid.
wow. you amaze me!
Matt, To bad when you were in MN that you didn’t get your Passport for Matty, Both your cousin Jenny and Theresa work for the County and would have been honored to help you. Wouldn’t have been any bad feelings just kisses.
“best buds” yes indeed! Just wait….soon she’ll just out of the blue without being provoked look at you and say “I love you daddy”. One of my most favorite moments EVER!!!
When is Banff? Excited to see your pics…one of the top places to visit on my list.
Asalamalaykom to the Best Buds and Everyone Else, including Christa in Valencia and even Jill,
What a hoot of a reaction shot-like a Hoot Owl!
Polygamy? Did you say polygamy? Now THAT’S something you could be allowed.
You do have a fair amount of supportive women, that is for sure. May God bless every single person who has reached out to you. May God forgive anyone who seemed cold or heartless. May God forgive us if we pass judgement on those whose hearts we cannot weigh.
Do you ever think of the double standard being a single dad? What If this were a story about a mother who found herself suddenly single? I just don’t think there would have even been a StarTribune article, as it wouldn’t be news. I don’t think there would be the outreach of support from men towards a woman, like there is women towards a man. I wonder too if that woman would feel as comfortable as you do making real-life contact with men from a blog. I think she’d worry about creepy stalker types. Lastly, I do think that society wouldn’t look on her as kindly as they look on you, when you meet friends of the opposite sex.
Do you ever wonder how your Liz would have done in your situation?
I’m not saying “right” or “wrong” for what you’re doing, just noticing that there is a difference. Did you ever recognize that?
I continue to wish the best for your family and for everyone who supports you. I would hope that all of us could extend that thought across the internet and into our homes and hearts.
Haircut looks great!!!! Love Madeline’s outfit. I remember when my daughter was a baby, I wondered how the onsie and pants were really suppose to go. Wish I had done it the way you are, sooo cute.
the picture of madeline after your great haircut is priceless. love her eyes.
i hope you have a safe trip to canada.. i’m sure you’ll do fine, you’re a pro with babies and planes.
Ugh…. I could FEEL your dread and anxiety. That trip would just suck ASS!! So my stomach was uneasy and then BOOM, out comes that hilarious picture of Madeline staring @ you!! Man, she knows how to lighten a mood and sure brightens the room!!
Matt- I have to tell you not all government workers are that way. I am one and if you had come to me I would have cared. I am so sorry people are mean. Nice to know the grocery lady was willing to go the extra mile for you. You see people’s true colors when you tell them about Liz. I personally don’t understand how everyone doesn’t start to sob right in front of you.
I hope you and Madeline have a great time in Canada. Seeing the world is one of the best gifts to give a child. Hugs, Rian
i’ve been read your blog for quite some time… you guys are amazing! just felt the need to finally comment… Madeline’s “reaction” to your haircut was priceless… it looks great, though!
*sigh* Best buds indeed!!
@Andrea V – Fuck Yeah sister! Let’s share a pulled pork sandwich.
Hi,
I found your blog few days ago and I just can’t stop reading. I felt like you should know there is someone in Brasil reading, and admiring you. Hoping for the best for both of you.
(hope my english was ok…)
Ana.
I feel rather lame starting this with, “I’m always reading but have never commented before…” but it is true. My daughter is just a few weeks shy of yours and I read your blog every morning while nursing her (or when ever you post). I’m curious why you are going to Banff and when? i live in Calgary which is just an hour and a half away. If you need someone to hang out with (although I’m sure you don’t since you probably have friends there) let me know – our daughters can stare, smile and eat their fingers at each other.
Matt -
Still checking in on you daily since you first wrote us. I can’t believe this is my first time de-lurking. I can’t add anything that anyone else already hasn’t said. You’re an amazing dad and Madeline’s smiles make my day.
BANFF! I’m so excited you are going there. Truly a photographers delight. The scenery literally will take your breath away.
My husband and I love it so much we went 4 years in a row and our baby Vivian’s middle name is Louise – a nod to that gorgeous lake. It is a color blue that is only second to your baby’s eyes. And our son’s room is decorated with vintage Canadian Pacific Railway posters. (the Canadian Rockies made an indelible impression on our life)
If I may be so bold, I’m going to e-mail you my little personal Banff 101 travel guide I send to anyone I know who’s going to visit. I feel like I should work for the Canadian Board of Tourism.
enjoy enjoy enjoy!
Kay
“Maddy and Daddy” is so cute!
BTW, if the formula coupons are from Nestle (e.g. Good Start), here is a little insider tip – Nestle honors all of their own manufacturers coupons even if they are expired. So, make sure you tell that the the register if you get any heat.
Sadly the passport thing has been a problem for years. I was 16 going out of the country ALONE and had a problem because my father was deceased and mom remarried. It was a nightmare that caused us to expedite things at the last minute …
your daughter is adorable. nice haircut too!
Love Madeline’s outfit, love the new haircut, and love the look on her face! Priceless and too, too cute! Oh, and that govt employee can go fuck herself. Grow a heart, seriously!
Have a good one!
Since there seems to be a lot of pork-related comments today, I just had to share this…
New foods at the MN State Fair this year…These sound right up your alley!
Big Fat Bacon – 1/3 lb slice of bacon fried and carmelized with maple syrup, served on a stick (of course)
AND
Pig Lickers – chocolate covered, crisp fried bacon pieces
your hair looks great – madeline was right, it was getting a little shaggy (i didn’t notice). I think you’ll find she’ll take care of you in the ways you need, as you take care of her in the ways she needs. Your love for each other shows bright in your eyes.
AL
I think you have to pass a special test to be an automaton at a government window — passports, dmv, you know.
so sweet how you realized maddy just wants to look at her best bud. and the hair looks good, btw.
Great post! Made me laugh at loud twice. Gotta love govt workers(wait i used to be one, maybe thats why i am not anymore) and that picture! Even with crazy eyes she is beautiful!
Yeah, those trips to government bureaucracies take on a whole new dimension once your spouse is dead. I cried through the entire appointment at Social Security and couldn’t even look at the woman assigned to my (prescheduled) appointment, throughout the entire time. This was about 3 months after Charley died, and I found it to be one of the hardest hurdles/appointments/technicalities to have to make it through–I couldn’t deny it, couldn’t pretend anymore that he wasn’t dead. D-E-A-D. Dead. Not just away somewhere, or off on a business trip (which he never took in the first place), or visiting friends. Dead. That appointment was awful–worse, almost, than having to go to the funeral home to make arrangements for his cremation, funeral, headstone, etc. I was numb and in complete shock and disbelief for those…not so for Soc. Security.
I’m relieved to hear that the passport rigmarole went okay. Or even if it sucked ass at the time, that you survived it okay and ended up having a decent finish to the day. I had to get a passport for Anna this winter, so we could go on a cruise to the Bahamas, and had no problems whatsoever. The guy didn’t even blink at eye at the death certificate and filled-in forms checking that her father was dead. So the whole time I was reading your run-up to getting to the office, I was keeping my fingers crossed and saying Come on, it should’t be *that* bad–the passport office has to do this all the time; they already have the friggin’ form for this scenario. Then again, maybe I delude myself when I think that perhaps widow(er)s-bringing-child-with-dead-parent-to-get-a-passport isn’t all that uncommon. Too, my also-widowed friend had been in the same passport office earlier that same day as I went, doing the same thing as I was, so maybe she “broke the ice,” so to speak, with the bureaucrat. But at 3 years out (okay, 2.5 then, at the time) from Charley’s death, it wasn’t nearly the ordeal as it’d be for you, at 4 months. The littlest things are so damn hard, painful, and inconceivable at 4 months out to begin with, and something like getting this passport ain’t no “little” thing.
Haircut looks sharp, my friend. Too bad a damn haircut can’t actually fix things that easily, but at least they can help a little, for a few hours.
Glad to hear the rest of the day went well. The expression on Madeline’s face to show her “reaction” to Daddy’s haircut is pricesless. =)
Hang in there as you’re coming up on her 4-month birthday and the 4-month mark of Liz’s death. Those anniversaries always sucked ass for me, and I remember 4 months being *particularly* shitty since I wasn’t blissfully numb anymore. I’ll be thinking of you….
want to start by saying i am the absolute worst writer EVER…i have been reading and thinking about you and madeline and liz since the start. unfortunately each time you come home to minnesota we have been out of town. i would love to actually talk to you instead of this email thing, because i am REALLY good at talking.
anyway, i felt i finally had to write after seeing the video yesterday. i laughed for a good 5 minutes. she totally reminded me of my 2 daughters-beautiful and truly happy. and you sounded exactly like i thought you would. weird. also, the look today on madeline’s face was priceless. totally hilarious.
also, i don’t like mgmt and i felt i should tell you so
you are a great dad (funny how you just figure it out, right?) and i hope to share a laugh & a cocktail with you and your special girl in the near future
dusti
OMG katie j, I *LOVES* me some bacon & syrup! Let’s not even get started on 1/3 lb. bacon on a freakin STICK! Sweet Aphrodite’s Arteries, I clearly belong in the MN. (Or in the Chi-town, where I could live on Italian Beef and deep-dish pizza. *SWOON*)
Come to think of it, I’d like to beat that Glendalian government worker senseless with a big stick o’bacon! Or a pork butt.
(Notice all Matt’s google ads now are for passport stuff!)
I loved today’s entry! your pics are priceless. i think you are amazing. i dont think you realize how much happiness you bring to people all over the world! here’s to being best buds with the cutest little girl…
An uncomfortable day (hated getting our baby a passport even with two parents present) that seemed to turn out beautifully.
Love the haircut. Love the daughter. I can tell you, babies do know who really have their backs and you really are Madeline’s best friend.
I just wanted to tell you I read your blog and you are inspiring. Also, Maddy is EXTREMELY intelligent and advanced because most babies don’t go through any issues of separation until they are much older. (I have a 7 month old boy who is just starting this and boys are slower than girls) She is going to be brillant…of course with a daddy like you how could she not be? God’s Blessings to you and Maddy.
Love the haircut!!
@Yosra – I met Matt when he was in the MN and we discussed why people read his blog and we both agreed that one of the reasons is that he is a male in this situation. I think a lot about how we would respond to a woman in this situation. I think that even if she were a wonderful writer and a great photographer, she wouldn’t have such a following. I’m not saying this is a good or a bad thing…it is what it is. But it has made me think about how I support (or don’t support) other women in my life. Honestly, I think most women expect less of men….expect that they can’t be as good parents or partners as us…so when we see one who is doing such a great job, we make a big fuss. If we saw a woman doing the same thing, we may not be so impressed (or at least not so vocal in sharing how impressed we are). I am not saying this to take anything away from Matt….I am amazed by him. I guess what I’m trying to say is: maybe we should expect more from men (our own husbands, sons, etc.) – Matt has demonstrated that men are capable of doing a lot more than we give them credit for – and maybe we should support women in crisis more instead of just expecting that they’ll do what they need to do without any help.
I hope I’m making sense. I do think all the gender stuff is pretty interesting.
Matt – love the new haircut and I laughed my ass off at Madeline’s reaction. That my friend is priceless.
Sorry the govt workers were such a pain, but now that it is over you can look ahead to your trip. I can’t wait to see the fantastic photos you will take while you and Madeline are there.
As always, thinking of you both here in the mn…
@Katiej – gotta love the MN state fair where every damn thing you can think of comes on a fucking stick!!
I used to be a government employee. I was the one who had to get her staff to finish dealing with clients because I needed to go and cry in my office when I had to deal with the heartwrenching refugee cases. None of my team were the cold faced ones. Perhaps in Australia we are a little more warmer of heart… Don’t get me wrong – when we had scammers and schemers I could be tougher than the best of them. I could wave my badge and get out the cuffs but mostly I would chat and smile and they would bring me lunch (of course I was not allowed to accept it but once I kept the chocolates from the old man who thought I was a ‘dish.’) Enough of me (sometimes I forget what I am here for) – great haircut. I am sure Miss M loves the smart new look. OS travel with a little one – make sure you triple check that they know you are flying with a baby so you get a seat near the bassinet. And smile loads at the flight attendents – they will bring your the world. The flight attendents have moved people just so we had more room (we never ask for such things). But you are an old hand at this and its really not that far (do you mean Banff in Canada? Lovely spot). Bla bla bla – I have a big today so I am a bit nervous (hence the rambling). Oh, I am a friend of Jackie’s and as she’s out in the wilds camping, I don’t have her to ramble at in emails. (I am really not a looney…)
Nice haircut Matt! Mean people suck!
Take care,
Debbie
Shiiiiiit, you made my eyes leak dude. Isn’t that “staring into my eyes” thing rock? I just want to say “here, baby, take my heart and do what you want with it, it’s yours.” (My Ava is almost 5 months)
And dare I say… with ALL due respect to my (hottie) husband and your lovely Liz…. that you’re CUTE! LOVE the new haircut. Handsome man. beautiful baby. Yes sir.
I love reading your blog… I laugh with you and cry with you. I also pray for you and Madeline all the time. You have so much support!
You’re doing an INCREDIBLE job as a father.
@Anna: Yes, you made a lot of sense.
@Yosra: You’ve helped me open myself up to others in observing your support of Matt via this blog. Love your way with words.
To all and particularly Matt: The thoughts of the above named people have caused me to think about how I may treat people differently and why, including: if the situation had been reversed, would I still be here for Liz? Yes, and I’d have gone through the same range of emotions I’ve experienced in having met you.
Loved the reaction pic and particularly the one of gorgeous maddy and her handsome daddy!
Definitely laughed out loud on that one! (and got some very interesting looks from my dogs
Man you have good comedic timing!
At least you dont have to do that again for another 10 years right?!?! Im glad the rest of the day was great for you guys!
damn those govt employees…man they suck. at least it’s taken care of. i’m a little jealous. little miss maddy has a passport & i don’t! what a traveler!!
as for her reaction to your hair—-i too, like a million others, laughed out loud! just priceless. i’m so glad you caught that on camera! she is just too cute. and the haircut looks great!!
i really smiled when you said you’re best buds. my daughter (3 1/2) always reminds me that she & her brother (nearly 2) are daddy’s best buddies. when she wants something she says “but we’re daddy’s best buddies.” just this past weekend she decided to see if being mommy’s best buddies would get her anywhere! too bad it didn’t! i’m the mean one around here! anyway……you 2 will always be best buds, that’s clear!!!
hugs for you both. hoping that today is a better tuesday in 2008, part 2.
I have to disagree. When my first father died my Mom curled up for almost a year almost not able to function. Our community helped her (this was before the Internet). My second father lost his wife (ironically the same year that my first father died) and HIS community (besides his sister in law, who was also his brothers wife) rallied around him. BOTH of them were given food, clothes, gifts and most of all SUPPORT from their community. BOTH of them were given unlimited support from neighbors, friends, even strangers from the neighborhood.
Look at Storked, and Chrissy, and all the support that she gets from her family and friends. There are a LOT of blogs where people are dealing with loss, and they are women, and they are given tons of gifts, support and love.
The thing that is different about Matt is that he DOES use this blog to not only get out his sadness and love and loss and most men dont do that. Matt is an exceptional man, this doesnt mean that we wouldnt support a woman who was going through the same thing if we came about them.
Believe me, I live in the NYC metro area, and after 9/11 there were TONS of people all around me who lost spouses, who were pregnant etc, and they were given unbelievable support.
I have tons of examples, but I think that this blog is exceptional because the author is exceptional, Matt is willing to share his life with us, and we are all rooting for him. The difference between men and women arent that much different, except Matt is a writer (whether he knows it or not) and he is willing to put it all out there. Which does not make our empathy towards women any different, it just makes us come back because his blog is interesting, the way he does it one day at a time is interesting. The way he SHARES is interesting.
Thank you Amanda for your perspective because when I first read Yosra’s post I was quite angry. Maybe because I HAVE so many examples? You cant live in my area and not.
On the other hand I have a lot of personal friends and family as well that I can use as examples when it comes to community.
It takes a village, and no, as Matt says he is not the village idiot, he has proven that a thousandfold over. But he IS special, because he is a man who shares. Which as a community wants us to share with him.
like the haircut!
and Maddy is getting big and more beautiful everyday!!
“she obviously wouldn’t
be a very good govt.
employee, but she’s
a pretty damn good
human being.”
And which of these do we think is more important? I think we are all in agreement here.
That holding the baby line would have lured me to dinner. lol
I love the wide-eyed look, it reminds me of one of my mom’s favorite stories about me. One of the only times my Dad ever shaved off his beard was when I was about 2, I screamed and cried and I would not get anywhere near him.
Until it grew back.
Love Love Love her response to your haircut! Priceless.
My very eloquent response to your story about the @?&%# (oh, there are so many choice words I could insert here!) at the passport office is: duuuuuuude. You mentioned uncomfortable silence – were you able to hear the hardened remnants of her heart rattling around in her chest cavity?
Anyway, the new haircut is fab. But that’s to be expected from the man who single-handedly started the onesie over the leggings trend.
Maddy is such a globe trotter already; I have no doubt that you and your best buddy will see the world together.
xxxxxx
Nice haircut! I need a new do. I’m a girl so it takes careful consideration! You look great.
I love Maddy’s eyes wide! She looks shocked. Daddy where’d your hair go!? The first time I cut my hair when my son was a baby he screamed bloody murder. He didn’t recognize me. I had long hair and I chopped it all off. Funny how we remember those little things. He did the same thing when I wore red lipstick. I thought that was really odd.
Gov’t employees are ROBOTS! But not the nice robots that we saw in the Jetsons. The evil ones who want to take over the world.
Screw that cold hearted bitch at the passport office! That picture of Madeline is too funny. She gets prettier everyday!
i want to write something profound here at it is my first comment ever on this site. i have been reading and reading and reading all of your past entries like a book in reverse. i guess i just want to say how strong i think you are. that’s all for now.
Hey Matt & Madeline! So glad to hear you’re coming to Canada, and Banff is a great choice. Hopefully you can meet up and make some new friends. I live near Banff too (like some of your other readers), so if you’re interested, would be happy to meet up…
I can’t believe the people that you run into day to day and the attitudes. I know that you’ve probably “met” many more wonderful types but as you say – what is it with those government employees – are they hired on the basis of no caring, complete lack of empathy? I hope your having to deal with that kind of response lasts only as long as Madeline is really small.
I lived in Alberta for a couple of years many years ago in another romantic episode – Banff is beautiful.
Matt-I seriously almost peed my pants over the Madeline haircut reation. I had already seen the pic on Flickr but was in no way prepared for your use of it. Awesome! You are truly awesome!
Why does everything involving the govt have to be unpleasant??? When I went to get my passport. apparently I didnt have the “official” copy of my brth certificate, so I had to go to my state representative’s office to get this so-called official document. Well, they actually have to order it FOR me, and it involves some $15 fee, which of course required me to go get a money order because they don’t accept checks. It would take 6-8 weeks to get it, and then they sent it to the wrong address. I was so mad by the end of the ordeal….However, there ARE some women that work at my Dr’s office who may be equally, if not more, unpleasant than the govt employees…
Ok, this is totally off the subect, but I started thinking about this when reading the “kinda blonde, kinda bald” statement….What does a bald man put down when asked about haircolor? Do they put their former hair color? Do they leave it blank? Hmmm…..Anyone??
Ok, back to the topic….I started thinking about Yosra’s comments as well, and sadly, I’d have to imagine that to some extent, she is right. I wish it wasnt this way, but I do think that people expect “less” from a single father than a single mother. Do you think that (dumbass)nurse would have suggested adoption to a single mom….don’t think so…
I’m not saying that there arent examples that contradict this, but as a whole, I think if the situation were the other way around, a woman might find it creepy (and not in the good way) if men were posting to her in the same situation. I think that women would equally support another woman, however. At least I would….
I think what makes us read is a) you are just such a talented writer, photographer, father, etc. 2) so many men are taught not to show their emotions, yet you are able to share them with all of us, these creepy (in a good way) strangers…And when you describe your love for Liz, that is just more beautiful than I can put into words. And I think that is also what keeps many of us here. I think that we all hope that our husbands/boyfriends, etc. would feel this strongly if something were to happen to us…
I don’t know….we probably all have our reasons to continue reading every day, (and a big one is to see those pics of Madeline)
Sorry, I just crack up every time I look at that photo!!!
Love the new haircut!
A beautiful post! Madeline gets cuter every day. It is so obvious how much she adores her daddy.
What a phenomenal human being you are and why on Earth you have to put up with “Give it to me” is beyond words. Mean people suck.
I kind of want to add a “P.S.” to my post. I mentioned that when I met Matt we agreed that ONE of the reasons that people read his blog is because he’s a male in this situation. But we also discussed many different reasons. I guess I want to make clear that I understand that people have many, many reasons for visiting every day, and many of the reasons aren’t gender-related. But I do think we also can’t deny that gender (both ours and Matt’s) play a role in how we respond to things. (For example, many women have an expectation that men aren’t good at sharing their emotions, so some may be particularly drawn to the blog of a man who can share so openly.)
@Melissa from NJ – thank you for the examples you shared of people helping others. I must say that Matt’s blog has caused me to start looking at people in my life (neighbors, coworkers) who may need help. This woman at my work was recently diagnosed with cancer and had to go on disability. Nobody organized anything for her and then I thought, “if hundreds of strangers can do things for Matt, then certainly some coworkers can do something nice for somebody we see every day”. We sent a basket of goodies. No robots, though.
Sweet haircut!
Loved the gender discussion
…will continue reading this blog on a daily basis b/c its just so damned good
First time reader in VA…
Don’t know what else to say that all of your faithful followers haven’t said already! Just wanted you to know how much I have enjoyed reading your blog this evening and seeing pictures of your beautiful daughter. Thanks for sharing your life with the world… I look forward to many more pictures of Madeline’s award-winning smile!
Matt, I LOVE your hair! It suits you well!
Hey, just wanted to let you know I’ve loved reading your blogs. Takes me back to those times with my little one! Who is now 14 months old. Oooof. I also relate on the eensie-weensiest level to the angst of having to explain where the other parent is (although in our case, her other mom and her dad both just decided to leave.)
Oh, I’m sure you’ve heard this roughly 97 times, but she qualifies for WIC, I’m sure, just because you’re a single parent (unless you make bank, I don’t know your whole story.) So you could apply for your own formula coupons…just a thought.
Anyway. I love to read your stuff, and you take awesome pictures. Take care.
I am a regular reader and I just wanted to say that I think Madeline is getting more and more beautiful with each picture you post. You’re doing an awesome job! I am truly a fan!
I got Reece’s passport about 9 months ago, making it to the post office with colorful death certificate instead of Dad.
I’m sorry they were rude to you.
My guy turned me away for non-standard photos and gave me a lecture about how women should stop breastfeeding when the kid can say “tit.” Seriously.
I guess you can’t legislate kindness.
govt employee suck! argh – i dread the day i have to get my baby a passport! sorry you ran into such a heartless woman!
you are an indescribable father. and miss maddy is MORE adorable than ever! she has that priceless look! you probably couldn’t get that look again even if you tried!
praying for you.
ps. i love pulled pork!! yum!
SWEET haircut. My husband has totally started the onesie over pants thing with our Madeline. You started a trend.
I think Maddy is starting to look a bit like you!!
You can see in the pics that she’s crazy about you, I love it!
Great line that you use to get women out to dinner with you, works every time!! I wouldn’t be able to resist.
What kind of small camera do you use? Your pictures always turn out so amazing. I’ve taken to trying to take pictures everywhere,but they don’t look nearly as good as yours do!
Hi Matt,
Wow, I’m way down the list of posters today so I don’t even know if you’ll read this. But I agree with the others that this post was focking fantastic. Really reads like a short story with so many emotions coming out in like 200 words or less….am amazing talent you have-really!
I hope your trip to the Banff is a nice one. Never been there myself, but it does look gorgeous! I had a different experience when I applied for my dear daughter’s passport. She was 3 months old at the time and hadn’t quite grown into the beauty she is now. She looked like a little grumpy old man with a wee bit of hair on the sides, but none on the top. Plus, in the pics, you’re supposed to have the baby in a sitting up position…not easy to do with a 3 month old. So she had a couple of double chins, the ring of fuzz hair and a “get me outta here” expression on her face. When it came time to picking up her passport, the ladies at the office just laughed and snickered at me when they handed it over. Anyway, practice your stare…no one should be making you feel like that for such an unlucky, shitty situation that happened to you & Madeline. That lady probably just watches too much Court TV seeing all the Scott Peterson types and not the focking great fathers like you!
i am totally addicted to your blog. Your write in such an emotionally raw way… its amazing.
Glad the passport adventure went slicker than planned. Those kinds of things suck.
Love the fact that Madeline has to see daddy! She really is at that age of knowing who her person is! So sweet! Love that kid!
Fuck that govt. worker! Fuck her and her lack of personality/kindness! Ugh! What an ass!
Glad you got a hair cut, looks very nice! I’m sure Madeline is much appreciative!
Matt, I stumbled across your blog last week and I’ve been reading it ever since; the whole time, you, Liz, and your beautiful daughter have been on my mind. I have to commend you for your strength…you are a wonderful father and I think of it as a privilege to read about and see the connection you two have.
I am de-lurking to say Welcome to Canada! Not sure when your trip is, but be advised that we have gotten snow in every month here in Alberta. Yes I have seen snow here in August before. Anyway while in Banff you have to go to the Indian Trading post and see this thing:
http://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/13985
Enjoy your stay and if you have any questions about Banff feel free to e-mail me.
Love your blog and Madeline is beautiful.
Hey Matt -
Just wanted to tell you I choked on my coffee when I saw Madeline’s reaction to your haircut!
Dont worry though, she was just surprised at how NICE and HANDSOME her Daddy looked…that’s all!
Hoped to run into you in the MN when you were in town, maybe one day. Keep your head up and your heart light and continue being the fabulous Daddy you are. You are simply amazing. I continue to wish you and Madeline all the best in life. Take care of yourself!
Love the new cut– very nice.
I love that you said you and Madeline are “best buds” – what a perfect description. She is getting so big and cuter by the day!
Very nice haircut! I almost split a gut laughing at the picture of Madeline’s reaction to your new doo.
It is so sweet that she has to have you in sight while being held by friends..Maddy & Daddy are a team.
Have fun in Banff. It’s one of the most beautiful places. Hope you get to see Lake Louise, too!
Safe travels.
Ok, I realize I’m missing the point of the whole post, but seriously, how awesome is Stay Positive by The Hold Steady?! LOVE IT! Can’t stop listening to it. Hope it makes you as happy as it makes me!
“…and headed home,
where we spent the night
making each other
smile and laugh,
just maddy, daddy
and a whole
bunch of music.”
=the sweetest thing I’ve heard anywhere in a long time.
And thanks, katie j, for the heads-up about new baconnated MN State Fair treats. Yum.
I love that you and Madeline are best buds.
The next time some stranger (not friend) in an airport gives you unsolicited parenting advice, I hope you look at them and say…
“I’m the genius that figured out that the onesie SHOULD be worn over the pants. F- Off.”
Seriously. It’s brilliant. It helps keep her pants up now…and in a few months when she has figured out that she can pretty much undress herself while Dad isn’t looking…it will help then too.
Okay, I have to ask… how did you take that picture of yourself and Maddy at the passport office where you’re sitting at the desk filling out the paperwork?
@sarah (#180)
i asked a stranger in the passport office to take the photo.
i do that a lot.
F the government. Seriously, what is wrong with them? I had to tell one of them off yesterday about my husbands rebate check…long story.
i am glad a crappy beginning of a day turned intto a happier day, with just you and your baby. Nice haircut, by the way.
I still love the onesie over the pants. I’m totally stealing that look when my little one arrives. There. You did start a trend amongst hipster babies.
Matt:
Love the haircut.
Love Maddy.
Love your honesty.
Laughing out loud at how my comments are trailing a mere 5 months behind the rest.
I watched you on the Rachael Ray show and immediately came to this site when you told us about it. Now it’s my new hobby! I had to start at the beginning and I’ve been reading each posting but you see I’m only up to July. That’s because my Jaxon, just 4 months older than Madeline, helps keep me off the computer!
Anyway, I wanted to comment on this post, especially the government employee part. I’ve dealt with many government institutions the last few years and it is fucking ridiculous. These people are NOT human and treat you as a nuisance for interrupting THEIR day. And the stupid ass paperwork they ask you for, mostly redundant, is a waste of time most of the time. So I feel ya on this one!
Can’t wait to get caught up on your posts. I am so intrigued by your bittersweet life!
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[...] past March, Matt Logelin became a new dad and a widower in a 27 hour window. As he applies for a passport for his 3.5 month old baby, he discovers that the regular requirement is that the rules dictate that both parents must be [...]