madeline woke
up at her usual 7:00am
(time zones be damned).
i was already
awake, staring at her,
waiting for her next trick.
she figured
that the trick should be:
smile at
her dad.
nothing unique, but
i’ll take it.
big day ahead of us.
i jumped in the shower
as madeline waited in
the middle of the bed
(she can’t roll very far yet).
auntie maleeda arrived
and she got reacquainted
with mini
liz.
they hadn’t seen each
other since madeline
was a few days old
and still hanging out
in an incubator in the hospital.
such a wonderful moment,
to see one of
liz’s
best friends holding
our baby.
we headed to breakfast,
auntie maleeda holding madeline
while i ran to
the buffet.
came back to find them
staring into each other’s eyes
and a whole
bunch of strangers
staring at them.
people told us what
a cute baby we have.
ah, the curse bestowed
upon any woman sitting
with me and my baby.
they’re assumed to be
the mother, which
of course leads to some
in this case,
i looked like
the stereotypical father,
making the mom
take care of the baby
while i ate.
after having countless
women compliment
my baby’s beauty
(which always elicits a smile from madeline, even at this age),
it was time
to get auntie maleeda
off to work.
she went her way,
and we went ours,
promising to catch up
on monday
when she returns from her trip.
we wandered the streets,
winding up at a giant
toy store
where madeline decided
to do a little shopping.
from there we continued our
wandering ways,
me trying to expose
madeline to the finer
things in life,
madeline asleep the entire time.
got lots of looks
from folks on the street
who thought i’d given
my baby a candy necklace
to chew on.
(it’s made of wood and i call it a pacifier leash…thanks to grandma broccoli for this confusion-causing fashion accessory).
made it back to our hotel,
stopping long enough
to change madeline’s diaper.
then it was off to the l.e.s.
to catch up with our
internet bffs,
chrissy and jack from storked!
as we waited for our cab,
i took some photos
of some characters
i wish i could have met
madeline’s silently enjoyed
her first cab ride,
while i talked to the driver
about baseball, a-rod’s wife
and stupid things
rich men do.
he dropped us off
on what would become
a familiar corner
and we waited for our
friends to arrive.
a few minutes later,
we found them,
and after a quick greeting,
together we walked
up the street
to do what we’d been
talking about doing
for weeks…
have a beer at
an outdoor cafe,
sharing a
face-to-face conversation.
as the parents talked,
madeline tried to woo jack
(a couple of daddy’s childhood favs).
jack seemed unimpressed.
later, as madeline slept,
jack became quite the
gentleman, sharing his
toys with madeline.
super rad.
from the beer place
we decided to walk to
a restaurant with a high-chair
for jack, deciding on an
awesome mexican restaurant.
tried to wheel the
stroller past a hipster
gal standing at the bar.
she hates babies.
she ignored us and i
pushed past anyway,
nearly knocking her purse
off her shoulder
(oops).
jack had fun with
his food,
madeline slept,
and the parents talked
about lots of stuff.
chrissy and jack clapped.
madeline continued doing
what she does best.
finished our lunch,
we got the kids together
for a little photo
shoot out on the sidewalk,
then noticed that our
little hipster not-friend
was now in range
of the camera lens.
we walked a little ways,
realizing that any conversation
we wanted to have would
have to be had while
looking backwards, over
the lead walker’s shoulders
(no room for two strollers side-by-side on the sidewalk).
saw some clouds
that made me pause
.
as we found our way
to an awesome playground
where jack took advantage
of his mommy’s arm strength.
madeline slept most of
the afternoon away
(no…i do not drug my child. she just loves to sleep like her momma)
but finally woke,
demanding to
be fed
(again, not unlike her mother).
chrissy and i switched
roles, she feeding maddy,
me pushing jack.
later we all hung out
then walked for awhile.
though tired and
in need of a place to rest,
we heeded the warning
of the sign
.
and the nails.
kept walking and ended up
in a coffee shop
where our children
interacted with one another.
we talked for awhile,
then chrissy’s awesome
friend matt arrived
and filled us in on
lots of important
news in the world of entertainment
(liz would have loved this guy).
it got late,
everyone got tired
so we headed out.
stopped along the way
to find a print
version of the latest
issue of glamour
with a piece penned by chrissy.
awesome.
walked a bit further
with our new friends,
said goodbye and
trekked 49 blocks
back to our hotel,
madeline sleeping the
entire way.
stopped at the hotel bar
to have a glass of water
(it was a long walk)
then made our way
up to our room,
pausing long enough
to admire the hallway.
plopped madeline in the crib.
she lasted an hour,
then started crying.
seeing my face, she instantly
smiled…so did i.
i put her in bed next
to me and she fell
asleep almost instantly.
i stared at her
awhile, thinking about how
much her mom
would have loved these
night-time moments,
just the three of us,
happy as hell
to just be together.
too much to
think about.
i’m going to sleep.
an awesome day
with friends both
old and new,
lifelong,
all of them.
91 Comments
I’m praying for you guys and I think of you daily.
Liz is with you both… in spirit. And I’m sure she does love the night time moments.
Reading your blog makes me take extra time daily to spend with my babies and husband. I wish it hadn’t taken your blog to make me think that way.
What a wonderful tale Matt.
Sounds like you both had a great time in NYC.
The mistaking of any woman in your company as your child’s mother resonates with me. But when you get into places on family tickets it is well worth it.
I love Maddie’s candy pacifier leash, so awesome. Glad you had a good time in nyc!
what a day.
awesome you two finally got to meet up with chrissy and jd.
great pics as always.
yet again, have a great day.
How awesome that you get to build these amazing memories to share with your daughter when she gets older. Your open, honest way of documenting life will be something she will treasure. Thanks for sharing with all of us.
glad you guys had a good time in NYC… but you need to post more now that i’m on bed rest..
2 posts in one day…I feel uber-spoiled! Awesome.
Love that you got a pic of the hipster beech. I hope someone recognizes her and busts her out.
That was a great post. I enjoy reading them so much!! Hope all is well. I read everyday, but VERY rarely post.
I stayed up until 1:30 AM reading your story.
Your story has touched me more then you will know. Thank you for sharing your life with us.
I hope you find some peace knowing how many lives your entire family has touched.
Your pictures are stunning.
I teared up when I read about Madeline rolling over–how cool that must be! It’s amazing how fast she is growing and changing.
Sorry about the hipsters in NYC not being any better than those in LA. I don’t think it’s just babies they don’t like–I think it’s most things. They give me those weird looks when I’m just walking down the street.
what a great time time in NYC, Madeline will love being able to see her life experiences as a baby. I almost stopped in that place in SOHO and had Mexican (I was having withdrawls, 4 days without Mexican food) glad I didnt since I had my three kids, that lady would have really been mad at me
There are very few blogs that I check religiously (at least) once a day, and your story is so captivating. I heard about you on Chrissy’s blog and am now totally addicted. I’m so glad that you had a wonderful time in NYC, you deserved it! Madeline is such a beautiful girl.
I, for one, love the pacifier leash! Everytime I see a pic of it, I think how cute it is
. Madeline gets more beautiful with each posting…
I haven’t thought about The Red Balloon in YEARS. Friends are wonderful and it looks like you have many of them to support you.
Love today’s post, and glad you guys had a great day in the NYC. Ditto to Kristin from TX.
Your writing is so remarkable. When I read your posts, I’m so entranced, my hubby knows to leave me be when I’m reading about you guys.
Glad the NYC was good to you!
Matt, I’m sure this is too soon to even suggest – but – you and Chrissy and Jack and Maddy look so good together – don’t discount this possibility. Things work together for good sometimes!
as madeline waited in
the middle of the bed
(she can’t roll very far yet>>
honest, just put her on the floor or in a crib….I didn’t think mine could roll far either….until he plopped onto the floor……he was fine, I had a heart attack
You are doing an incredible job with that baby. She’s beautiful and you are managing. It might be hard, but you are doing it and you are doing it well. As a Mom it is so frustrating for me to read your posts without thinking “DAMNIT. Liz got jipped.” She was so jipped and it just makes me mad. Keep up the good work Matt…Madeline is lucky to have you.
If you have any female friends that are black, the 3 of you should do a meal together and REALLY confuse some gawkers!
Madeline is just an awesome gal. And Matt’s an awesome dad.
WOW – 2 posts in one day!!
LOVE the paci leash!!! A girl has got to have her some accessories.
I’m a new reader of your blog. Your daughter is absolutely beautiful, just like her mother. Thank you for sharing your story so candidly.
Agree with the paci leash comment – that is an awesome find! What an adventure you’ve had in NYC – looks like you had great summer weather for it, too. Keep on keepin’ on, M&M!
What good ny friends.
Ha! I’m guilty of thinking that the pacifier holder thingy was a candy necklace! That could have been cool…she would have just gummed it.
It is so nice to see you doing so many wonderful things with Madeline, she will love the stories when she gets older! I love that you and Chrissy got to meet face to face, what a support you can be to each other. I see a future love connection… not you, Madeline and JD! keep doin’ what your doin’, you’ve changed so many lives.
P.S. They will fall off the bed before you know what happened. I will never forget the sound. Be carefull!
What a heartwarming post and beautiful photos to match! I’m so glad to read that you & Madeline are having a fab time in NYC. Much deserved!
So glad you pointed out that it is made out of wood… it was several pics in before I realised that… lol.
LOVE that pic of the hipster that hates babies. It is a small world… someone is going to see her someday and say “Where have I seen her before? Oh yeah, she’s that hipster…”
Another great post that makes us all think. Look at Madeline, so young and already at attracting boys from across the country. Next thing you know she’ll have to check her Facebook page.
Glad you’re having a great trip.
Matt, they are going to have to put a block on your website at my work, because I’m always reading it! You’re gonna get me fired
You and Madeline look great in NYC! Been there many times and it’s so fun to see it through your eyes (and Madeline’s).
I love how in the Madeline photos (when she’s awake) she seems to find you, and focus right in on you. Her eyes are piercing, and you can feel the love she has for you right through the camera. Priceless. Despite all you’ve been through, you are one lucky Papa.
Matt,
Thanks for sharing your trip and pictures!! Mornings are the best with babies! They are extra happy!
Take care,
Debbie
hi matt – glad your time in the nyc went well. it looks like you had some really amazing experiences. maddy has done more in 4 months than most! she is so beautiful. both of you continue to be in my thoughts daily.
I can just picture you and Madeline having these awesome intimate times together with smiles and all. Liz would have loved and cherished those times. So happy that, by the sounds of it, you are taking the time to cherish it enough for the both of you. Wishing you the best always!
Sweet a picture of the Hipster asshat.
Still wish there was a pic of that guy that passed out needing OJ.
Cheers
Go Pork…and hotdogs
@ Chrissy – Nice article in the magazine!! I love that you have seemingly “found yourself” in the most unlikely of places. Way to go! Love up that baby of yours. And (I do not blog this word often) fuck those nay-sayers who give you crap. Who cares what someone else says or thinks. As long as you are happy with yourself and your baby is happy, then all is good. Great job!
I absolutely adore Madeline’s signature pose of laying back with her arms behind her head. So cute!!
Also, thanks for reminding me to cherish the simple beauties in our everyday lives.
Matt –
I stumbled upon your blog and I’m so glad that I did. You are such a phenominal dad! Liz is for sure looking down at you smiling. :0)
I cringe each time you have to answer “the question.” But I also give you a big high five from afar each time you handle the situation because you do it with such grace and tact.
Keep up the great work buddy and know that you inspire a LOT of people.
I know it is the parents who generally benefit most from the beauty and joy these babies bring to the world.
but still, in letting my mind wander- I always come to the same place….
…Liz gave her life to give all of us a gift.
Those night time moments- I am broken hearted that her momma can’t be there to be blissed out no the best drug known to women.
But i know that it trickles down.. touching everyone- and I know from my own children, that I would give *anything* to allow them to make the world a better place.
And to allow them to enjoy it.
hipster be damned.
fuck em’
and their giant purses.
Love the photo at the end. I realized I can see you in the mirror. Very cool indeed.
super rad indeed. friends and family are where it’s at.
hipsters be damned.
The thought of you smiling, makes me smile!
Gentle hugs from Canada!
Asalamalaykom,
I’m really struck by your choice of, “The Red Balloon”. I love it too, but the way it mirrors your life right now (yes, I’m an English teacher) just astounds me.
An adventuresome pair go everywhere and do everything. The beautiful red balloon is brought down and dies a cinematic death as painful as any on screen. The boy who loved his friend is down in the dirt crying until…
all the colorful balloon friends come from all the corners of the city and comfort him. He is picked up literally and he is able to fly with them.
I do believe that God cushions our blows in life by foreshadowing, or showing signs. Maybe this movie was in your life early on to prepare you for the death of your greatest friend and for the idea of staying bouyant with the support of others who love you.
Another great post… thanks for sharing your journey with us. The lessons you are teaching to a classroom of hundreds….
NYC seems to of treated you all well! Who doesn’t love babies. You should have knocked her purse off her shoulder and the drink in her hand. (Except for the fact it could have splashed on you or Madeline)
Ahh Matt, what a great post. I’m so happy that you and Chrissy finally got to have that face-to-face conversation. It’s nice to make new friends that will be friends forever.
Madeline rolling over is awesome. She is growing so fast!! And as always she is just as cute as can be.
Safe travels to you and the fam. I hope you have a great trip.
Always thinking about you here in the mn….
Dude!
when did she get all that fluffy cool hair?
gorgeous.
I can only imagine the stares and the incidents stemming from the candy-looking pacifier leash. hilarious
does it mean I am a stalker if i checked your post twice today? Next time you are in Mn you should come to dinner so we can be friends, and I don’t have to feel like I am a stalker.
Love Miss M’s paci holder thingy. Where did your mom buy it?: It’s awesome!
I LOVE the pacifer leash! I admit that I thought it was a candy necklace the first time I say it also, but I quickly figured it out! I have never seen one like that before!
I have to admit, I thought the paci leash was a real candy necklace. Alas, I was mistaken. I can see how it is the cause for so much confusion and stares!
I’ve never been to the NYC. Looks like you all had fun. Yea for new friends!
I goggled for the holder and found these….
http://www.greatbabyproducts.com/Baby_Pacifier_Holder_Chain_p/haba-1000.htm
OK ~ last post….I found it on eBay
http://cgi.ebay.com/BINK-LINK-WOOD-PACIFIER-CLIP-ATTACHER-CANDY-NECKLACE_W0QQitemZ350078736656QQihZ022QQcategoryZ1261QQcmdZViewItem
Matt! I was at FAO Schwarz on Friday!! And downstairs in the baby section!!! I wonder how many moments we missed each other by. I was there about 1pm, how ’bout you?
I want to thank you for sharing your daily experiences with us and allowing us to watch your beautiful child grow. I feel privileged to get to know Liz through her gift of Madeline and her loving husband.
Getting to be a lot of Tracy’s on here, so I had to get specific
The pacifier leash is awesome! Very hip and cool – so no wonder that Madeline would have one! I’m loving the pics of her chillaxing with her arms over her head! Glad you found such a good friend in Chrissy! I saw her article in Glamour last night, and thought of you guys! Very cool, hope she gets a bunch of new readers to her blog.
Where are we at now – go pork, fuck hipster girls?
I had been thikning, matt that the “candy necklace” was a gift from Jack!
what a clever accessory that G’ma broccoli bought.
Glad to hear you had a good time in the NYC.
This entry is SO from the Garden of Awesome. I am absolutely positive that Liz was looking and was there with you, loving every minute of it.
Wish I had your strength.
Thank you Grandma Broccoli!!! I ordered my pacifier chain a few days ago – exactly like Madelines . . . yeah, call me a stalker! I’m a paci chain stalker!! And a copycat to boot – I ordered the exact same one! I cannot wait for it to get her for my sweet baby girl!
And Matt, my baby girl, who turned 1 today – slept almost constantly her first 4 months or so! Some of us get lucky like that
I’m glad you have fun in the NYC!
Kiss Maddy for me
not sure if you you’re going to get to this in the comments– but I was in NYC this week and thought for sure I saw you on the street but didn’t want to be stalker/weird and ask you— and I thought– no, must just look like him because he’s on the west coast– now I know I’m not crazy–wish I had stopped and said hi–
Honey, this is a fucking beautiful post. I don’t wanna be redundant on myself, but from the NYC hipster, to you meeting up with C & JD, to MEL rolling over, to you staying where you & Miss Liz stayed on your honeymoon… Fucking beautiful, Man.
xoxooxxxoxo
k in the n
p.s. I 2nd everything Hawkfeather said.
p.p.s. High-five to Yosra for being an English teacher.
You called Maddy “mini Liz,” but in that first pic with Maleeda, she looks exactly like YOU!
We have that same exact stroller. It is such a royal asshole to fold up while holding a baby in your arms. I don’t think I’ve ever done it successfully.
I hope that someday I have someone as cute and squishy to wake up smiling next to me. The dog’s okay, but she’s a bed hog.
And sorry for the excessive stalking today. Let me know if/when you get the special email – you’ll know it when you see it (so if it doesn’t arrive I can raise a little hell!).
Another terrific post. I love the way you write so open and honest. Maddy sure is lucky to have you as her Daddy.
I love that pic of hipster bitch, the angle looks like an a pole is coming from her ass… deliberate? I bet it was, you rock..
i think that is precious how maddie wants to sleep in bed with you. I co-sleep with my 6 month old- we try the crib, but neither of us likes it! i feel empty w/o her, and she loves to cuddle. too sweet Matt- i keep thinking back to the picture of her asleep on your chest giving you a bear hug… This little girl sure loves you- and you can tell your smitten over her as well. what an awesome trip!
“Mini Liz” I like it-she does look a lot like Liz-from the pictures I have seen anyway
What a full and fun day you had. I love the pics of Jack and Madeline!
Enjoy your snuggles with Madeline, someday she’ll be all independent or something…
There are safe ways to sleep with your baby!
Another great post. Zutano clothing rocks. Marion wears it all the time, great play clothes. Hope Madeline picked out a cute outfit!
To be honest…when I first saw the “leash” I too was wondering…why did he attatch her binky to a candy necklace? What if it breaks? LOL.
I love my pink underwear.
I love reading your blog and was wondering…could you share with us what camera you are using?
I’m glad you had a great time in NYC with old and new friends, and I so enjoy looking at all of the photos you take! I’m looking forward to you getting more updates on here about your next adventures!
Just a warning from a mom of four who has made all the mistakes…don’t think for a minute that because Madeline hasn’t rolled from the center of the bed yet, that it can’t happen when you’re not looking!!!! Put her in the infant seat or stroller on the floor of the bathroom while you shower…or in the crib. My oldest scared me to death by rolling off the bed at 4 months old when I turned my back to grab a diaper! Another family I know suffered a tragic accident (which I will not go into in detail) as a result of leaving their baby on the bed with pillows on the floor next to the bed to cushion any possible falls.
Anyway….sorry for the unsolicited advice…I just want to help you avoid the dumb mistakes the rest of us make and then feel horrible about!
Kristin – when you click on the photo you can go to properties and it tells you what type of camera was used.
Matt – I think you need to put this information up at the top! Everyone always wants to know what kind of camera you use!
Hi Matt, Wow Maddy is absolutely gorgeous, she really looks alot like Liz! She is just beautiful. I LOVE her “candy necklace” .. Dont ya just love people assuming you gave your baby a candy necklace lol.. gosh some people LOL.. Im glad to see you had a great day with old/new friends! Your doing such a great job with Maddy.
Sharyn in NY
What a fun day! I smiled watching it happen on my computer screen! LOVE LOVE LOVE the way Maddy relaxes with her hands behind her neck! Too funny! That girl has character, I do think she is going to be one hell of a funny girl too! You are going to have so many cute moments!
I think Liz does love those night time moments. While you’re asleep on one side of Madeline, who do you think is on the other side, keeping her from rolling off the bed?
You may not see her, but she’s there. Watch Madeline look over and smile at her sometime, and then you’ll know what I mean….
Hi Matt, this is, in my opinion, your best blog entry to date! My name Christie and I am a long time reader of your blog! My husband and I have a 6mo old, Brooklyn, so your blog really hits home. I cannot imagine what you are going through. I know you hear this all the time but my heart really goes out to you. You are an inspiration in the way you have handled this. Liz is such a lucky woman to have had a man that is doing so right by her and you guys’ daughter in life and death. Not to mention how happy you made her while she was still here. I know I never met her or you but from the pictures of your life together she looks like she led a magnificent, wonderful life with you. My MAIN reason for writing this comment is to say how AWSOME every little thing our baby so truly is. Just the littlest smile in the morning makes your day and melts your heart; they really make life worth living. Watching them experience everything for the 1st time is truly amazing. Well, like everyone one else I had to make a comment/put in my two since. You can’t possible have time to read all of these comments… if you do, kudos to you!
I have that stroller
wait until she gets a little older — she’ll start sticking her legs up on the front bar like it;s her own rolling lazyboy.
I always love her lounging shots. Sounds like Friday was a spectacular day!
Have a safe trip. Happy thoughts to you.
(((hugs)))
Madeline looks so excited about all those clothes! (That store looks great!) I loved reading this one, sounds like a great day. You really seem to just enjoy the little things in life and just roll with the punches. You’re lucky to have that trait bc I do not, I’m anal and scheduled and don’t like “taking it easy” and that’s a hard life to live.
That man w/ the very dark mustache looks like quite a character. Reminds me of Mark Twain (kindof).
Oh and paci leashes and co sleeping are some of my favorite things. Although, I have been know to give my 9 month old a candy necklace (a real one) to gum on.
lol! what a cute “leash.” Glad you had a good time! And what a rude hipster chick! Next time that happens, run the person over with the stroller.
Julie: what a nice comment! so true…
jack and madeline are so cute together! looks like best friends in the making
Too bad you and Maddy didn’t catch the Cash Cab (TV reference here) instead of walking a kersquillion blocks back to the W-A!
I am a total lurker. I have never posted because I feel have nothing profound or helpful to say. Sometimes there are just no words.
Please do know that I think you and Maddy are fantastic. I love reading your blog. What a great dad you are. I hope you find comfort in knowing that at least. Thanks for sharing.
I just love reading about your adventures but it is always bittersweet to know that there should be one more person in those photos.
Someday, Madeline is going to be so appreciative that she has this record of her early days.
that first picture of madeline is my favorite yet. what a doll.
i do not know you but have been touched by your story. thank you for being so honest and vulnerable.
chrys
Have just found your blog and am floored and incredibly touched by your honest writing. I wanted to say hi, send my love, and all the energy I can muster to help you along your journey.
Wish I could find the words… I will be back.
Much love to you both
Tash