(remember, we’re one week behind)…
today is the day
we leave the city.
but first, we have some
stuff to do.
met up with auntie maleeda
so she could hang out
with madeline once more,
until next time.
checked out of our hotel,
then we took a little
walk down park ave
to meet our
friend suzanne for lunch.
had lunch at a nice
little place and
talked about all sorts
of stuff.
great to see her again
after such a long time.
she had to get
back to work so we
said goodbye
and took a little walk
around the city.
saw this place
and got this song
stuck in my head.
then i stopped into
a camera store and picked
up a new lens for our
trip to banff.
we tested it out
as we walked back
to pick up our luggage.
during my walk i’d
been contacted by
my favorite argentinian, sol.
she wanted me to meet her
friend in the lobby of
our hotel.
of course.
we walked in and found fatima,
sol’s creep by proxy,
waiting for us.
she had a sign sent
by sol.
we got a photo
it was awesome.
we had a nice conversation
then fatima had to catch
her train,
and we had to get our luggage.
before we got that
far it came to
my attention that madeline
had a blowout.
a big one.
her outfit was covered in shit.
so was the stroller.
awesome.
bet myself $10 that the
men’s room in the lobby of
the waldorf didn’t
have a changing table.
(used to make these kind of bets with liz all the time…i only wish she were still here so i could take her money).
i won the bet,
but ultimately lost,
’cause i was right.
resourceful dad that i am,
i changed her on the carpet
just outside the bathroom.
if only you could
have seen the faces on
the paying hotel customers
as they walked past
me changing my baby’s
diaper on the floor.
made me laugh.
clean again,
we took a few photos
before finally leaving the place.
we drove toward the airport,
staying awake long
enough to get a few photos
out the window
of the car.
got to the airport
and met some really
awesome airline
employees.
they loved madeline,
talking to us for 20 mins
before the inevitable
question was posed.
i answered and they
got even nicer,
giving me a seat
in business class
as well as an upgrade for
a future flight.
at one point, madeline
and i were behind
the counter with them,
navigating them through
my blog.
they promised to read,
and i promised to get in
touch on my next trip
to the nyc.
i got the obligatory
bathroom shot
before boarding the plane.
madeline was passed out,
and happy as hell.
realized that sitting in luxury
is a lot sweeter than not,
especially when you have
a baby on your lap.
talked to a really
cool film-making lady
sitting next to us
until neither of us
could keep our eyes open.
soon enough
we were in the los angeles,
getting picked up by rhonda.
made it home
with a quickness
only found after midnight
on the freeways of this city.
walked in the door
to find my house
cleaner than clean.
time to sleep.
the trip to the nyc
was exactly what
we needed.
an escape,
friends,
lots of fun.
now we’re back
in our place.
it’s too empty,
it’s too sad.
it will get better.
102 Comments
thank you MATT!
good grief she’s getting big!!!
love the sky shots with the new lense!
it totally pisses me off when restrooms don’t have changing stations – I have ran into this in restaurants. Good for you changing it right there on the floor. Maybe next time you visit you will find one in the men’s room!
‘It will get better’. Sounds like a new mantra to me.
Hooray for Creeps by proxy. Thank you Sol!
(((hugs)))
and hooray for awesome airline folks.
Hi Matt ( And beautiful Madeline, of course!)
It sounds like you had a really great trip, that’s awesome! I can’t believe how big madeline has gotten, and she seems to be getting even more beautiful! I really enjoy reading your blog, and am more impressed each time I read it. I think you are doing a wonderful job with Madeline, keep up the amazing job. I am sure Liz is beyond proud of you and madeline
Awesome pictures, as usual. Love that you are treated well by most you encounter (ie, upgrades on airlines, door man @ hotel) it boosts my hope that humanity is not lost. Happy to hear that while currently your house is empty & sad, you know eventually it will get better.
Love the pictures, love the baby!
And you are right– it will get better.
Beautiful. So glad you had a good time, and it will be getting better, day by day by day. Madeline is so gorgeous, and you are doing such a great job. I can’t believe the Waldorf Astoria doesn’t have changing table in the men’s room…how can that be? Keep smiling, Matt. It does this Texas grandma’s heart good to see the smiles reach your eyes! Blessings to you both.
Matt, it will get better. It IS getting better. You’ve got a whole group of strangers/friends rooting for you and reminding you that you and Maddy are the Logelin Garden of Awesome. And when you see signs like “Elizabeth Street,” remember, Liz might not be right by your side, but is forever in your heart. She sends you things like that to remind you that she’s near.
I love your blog and your photography. Keep up the awesome daddyness you portray.
Em
Can the house cleaning fairy come my way? PLEASE.
Glad you had a wonderful escape!!! And you are right..It will get better!
Great pics of the city! And I too am glad that you’ve had good experiences with the airlines and service people in general. Makes things slightly less difficult to bear, I hope.
And thanks again for taking us with you on your travels. I eagerly await your posts and appreciate the effort you put into them. What a wonderful gift to give your daughter some day.
Glad you had a good time! Feel free to swing into OK anytime!
Awesome post.
Creeps by proxy rock.
Cheers
Fuck the asshats
Go pork
And Rock on badass airport employees
Funny how all the Creeps are the first ones to respond…
The Waldorf easily qualifies as the nicest men’s restroom you have ever taken Madeline to. I hope you are assembling some sort of men’s restroom scrapbook…?
So did you bag the outfit to wash later or just dump it in the trash?
Companies who do not offer baby changing tables deserve to have people change their children elsewhere!
Looks like you had a great trip. Love seeing the world through your eyes (or lens).
Wow–I totally have lens-envy! I want a lens like that!! I’m glad you had a great visit in NYC and a safe trip home. I love the pink flowered outfit Madeline is wearing!!
Still lovin’ the bathroom shots. I’m glad to know other people have “blowouts” too. I can’t tell you how many baby outfits i haven’t even bothered to try and salvage, because the blowout was just too extensive. lol
Wishing my work network allowed me to view the photos along with the blog, guess I’ll have to wait until I get home. Glad to hear you and Madeline enjoyed your trip but are safely back home to a clean house – how nice to have such caring people in your lives. Love the story about the blow-out, boy can we all relate and laugh at the sight you describe! You’re doing great, Matt!
It’s always such a good moment when I find your blog updated. I think most of us keep track of you so well that we are always on count with how many days behind you are. I’m glad you had a good trip. We love watching Madeline grow.
Hey Matt,
My daughter just had a major blowout exactly like Madeline’s the other day….poop EVERYWHERE!! Gotta love it(JK) SO happy to hear you had a good time in NYC.
Take care,
Debbie
PS I sent out your coupons today!
You are right-it will get better!
So glad to hear the trip was so grand. Lovely photos and words, as always. I particularly liked the elevator shots with all the graffiti, Madeline makes a beautiful contented contrast. Yes, can the clean house fairy come my way too????
take care
You make me miss New York!
Way to class it up at the Waldorf! haha I like Katy’s idea about the restroom scrapbook.
Looks like that new lens is going to come in handy! Can”t believe how blue the skies are outside of California. What a way to travel from coast to coast–business class rocks.
Welcome home!
I’m curious, did you get that lens at B&H?
that’s where I got my favourite lens a couple of years back, and I’m thousands of miles from NY in another direction…
Coincidence, or just odd foreigner, you decide.
;0)
It will get better.
Glad to hear that you had a good time in NYC. NYC rocks. LOVE that the airline was so good to you two. I can’t believe how generous they were. Sometimes, through all of the airline fiasco news, we forget that airlines employ some really nice people. 
Yay for that.
empty. sad. But in time it will be full of wonderful memories you will cherish instead of fear. And new ones you and Madeline will make. It will be a home again. Take Care, Matt
Great song…and now stuck in my head too…catchy I must say.
So glad you had a great trip to New York. Am I the only idiot who had to google “banff”? I didn’t do very well in geography class so many years ago!
Matt, you’ve been through the worst. It will never be *that bad* again. It can only get better, and it does day by day by day.
it’s always good to make new memories, the old memories will be there forever, don’t worry. And NY looks awesome through your eyes/lense
Gotta love those blowouts
The pics with your new lens rock! Looking forward to seeing the awesome pics you’ll take in Banff.
And, WOW, Miss Madeline is growing!!!
Ok, so you piqued my curiosity with the book. Had clicked on the link in a previous post and about passed out when I saw the title of the book, “Sleeping it off in Rapid City”. Course, I live in Rapid City and thought, “What the heck?! I’ve never even heard of this book!!” Shuffled off to the Rapid City Public Library in hopes of finding a copy and of course they had one. Looked as if I was the first person to touch this book of poetry (not surprising in RC, SD). Always an intreging journey, to see your world through a visitor’s eye, especially one who is able to articulate his/her thoughts through art. Thanks for the heads up. It’s a great book and a great poem.
So, what lens did you get? I’m a camera nerd and really want to know what you got!!! Please tell!
@ Cindy in Saugus
<>
Heck no! I googled it a couple of weeks ago. I had no idea what Matt was talking about. I’m, uh, ..not well traveled.
I am a faithful reader, and when the comments are lengthy I read those too ( – nothing like mouse potatoe’s telling it like it is he he he). I love Maddy and watching her grow. I think of you often and your blog and life are often talked about in my moms group………..things are getting better all the time!
Matt –
I’ve loved reading your posts from the last week. What an amazing trip to the NYC — so cool! You may not feel this way all the time, but your voice sounds so much stronger these days. Things are getting better, and you have such an amazing network of supporters to lean on through the rough patches. Not to mention Madeline — whose smile could lift anyone’s spirits!
It’s Monday again (in your blog and in real time) — Happy Birthday Maddy!! I’m not sure if it’s week 20, 21 or 22, but I do know that she gets more beautiful every day!
Can you tell me what kind of lens you bought? It doesn’t say on the flickr notes. Thanks!
Your photos blow me away, they’re FANTASTIC and I’m adding you as a flickr contact!
Best always,
Lisa
Yay for creeps by proxy and awesome airline employees. YES, it will get better! Pics of Maddy are cute as always. Glad your trip was exactly what you needed! It’s always nice to get away.
oh my goodness, AMAZING new lens! AS IF the pics could get any better…. then they did!
your posts have been so amazingly optimistic lately which makes me so incredibly optimistic about so many things. thank you for sharing it and know that its been contagious.
i hope you slept in that amazingly clean bed since you’ve arrived home. oh it must have felt heavenly if you did and if you didn’t, would you do this Matt-luvah-Creep a favor and crawl between those crisp, cool sheets for me tonite? cant wait to hear back if you do, no thanks necessary. LOL
Sol rocks socks and as I’ve been getting to know her better these past few weeks, I’m even more convinced of such. I’m sure her friend was equally rad and I’m glad you got to meet Sol, even if it was by proxy.
If my husband walked into the Waldorf-Astoria and came across you, changing your baby’s blow-out on the carpeting, he’d have laughed, high 5′ed ya and then joined you on the floor with our toddler. We loathe mens rooms that don’t accomodate dads but have a changing space in the women’s restroom of the same business. HUGE PET PEEVE!!!
Its so good to see you smiling and hopeful toward a bright tomorrow. I hope you feel the love so many people hold for the 2 of you.
P.S. happy 20-week birthday, madeline!
Glad you and Madeline got some VIP treatment in NYC! You have friends who are rooting for you in DC too. You’re right- it will get better with time. Keep the great pictures and memories coming.
“it will get better”
it will. it really will. there’s already a change. you’re smiling more. your posts aren’t as heavy. and that’s great. i think you have a new fabulous little blue-eyed shortie to thank for that! so glad nyc was the escape you needed. hope banff is too! (and yes, i had to google that a few weeks ago too!)
hugs from milaca as usual!
As always, your photos are breath-taking. What an amazing trip…I’m so impressed with how you and Madeline travel. She is such a great travel buddy–the photos of her passed out on the plane were priceless. And, the airline people ROCK. That is so great that you got an upgrade. What a great end to a great trip. Can’t wait to hear what you’re busy with this week. Happy 20/52 Birthday to Miss M today!!
So glad you enjoyed your trip to The NY. I too have had moments like you did with my little one, Shit everywhere. I actually started to carry a scissor with me (those little one that cut nose hair) so that I could cut her out of outfits and throw them out. Seriously. Some of the stuff that came out of my little Maddy was BEYOND!! she still does it to me, now it’s with throwup. We are on carseat number 3.
Notice a pattern, I have two babies but still get grossed out.
Wish we could have caught up with you. My husband has a perfect song for you. He recorded it recently and played it for me and I started to cry. I told him about your blog He said, “wow, please send it to him”.
Let me know if and how I can.
Take care!
Love the NYC series – Hookers at the bar, Hipsters on the street and the Men’s room at the Waldorf-Astoria. You’ve exceeded my expectations this time!
How is it that there are so many people who put their lives on hold because they have a baby but you just keep on movin’ and shakin’? You are inspirational on many levels, Matt.
Been following your trip in NYC, but haven’t commented. Had to ask, though, because if it were me and the fancy Waldorf didn’t have a changing table in the restroom, bitch that I am, I’d have found the fanciest high traffic spot in the lobby – preferably an ornate couch or a shiny table and set up my own personal temporary deshitting location right there.
But that’s just my ornery self. It’s a Monday and my mother-in-law’s been staying with us for 3 weeks now.
Ahh – blowouts…in our house we like to call those shitastrophes, you know a shitty catastrophe. They always seem to happen when the baby is in something that is difficult to clean – a car seat, the bouncy or swing. I’m sure it was a lovely sight for the guests at the Waldorf!! Great pics – Maddy is just adorable!
I love that you found yourself showing the airline employees your blog! so great!
creep by proxy? LOVE it! Love the pics and love that you continue to be an inspiration through your photos and your writings – hope this week goes ok for you – will be thinking of you and your family as you enjoy Banff…
Glad to hear a little more “happy” in each post…
You are doing such an amazing job at everything you do.
Liz is so so proud!
I cannot believe your photgraphy-each post I think that I’ve seen the best, and then you top it the next day… speechless.
Please share what camera and lens you use. I am in the market for a new one.
So glad that you ran into some kick ass peps in the NYC, and can’t wait to read your next post.
Madeline is such an amazing travel companion – what a great baby! I was happy to see her cry a little in the boating pictures as it confirmed she’s not a robot baby. I was beginning to wonder with all that perfect sleeping and smiling!
I hope the Banff is treating you well – hugs to the family!
@Sol – Way to go! Firsties and a long distance creep. You’re my hero!
It will get better….words to live by! Now, if I could only get that song out of my head….Happy Monday!
Awesome trip – awesome pictures – REALLY awesome airline folks, and at the end you home with Maddy! You are right – it WILL get better, you hang in there man, your doing great!
love and hugs from the MN
I have been following your blog with admiration. You have a beautiful baby girl and she is so well looked after and loved. I know it’s not easy, but time will make it easier and easier. You are doing the right thing, making lots of snaps for her to enjoy later on. I hope you continue to heal and enjoy. Greetings from Ontario, Canada.
Anja
Next time you are in NYC, you’ve got to come out to Astoria to hit up the Beer Garden— they let babies in. Its basically, beer, sausage, picnic tables, and awesomeness. Perfect for you and Madeline. Come out and we’ll buy you a pitcher.
it will get better…..you’ll never notice as it’s happening but you’ll just turn around and go “damn…that was a little better”…… great that you have a companion with you to keep you company
GAH!! Xbox4NappyRash – I refuse to go to B&H because their commercials drive me fucking INSANE! If you lived around here you would know what I mean. Truly annoying.
And I agree Matt, it will get better. Everyday, and after every milestone it will get better. Getting over the milestones suck ass, but it will. As you know. Just one day at a time. You are doing awesome.
Asalamalaykom,
You are not doing what you are supposed to be doing and I LOVE THAT!
Dude, when you are changing Miss Madeline’s diaper on the loverly carpet of the Waldorf Ass-toria, then you have no fear. NO FEAR!
I need some of that–not the sh*t (have enough of that). I need to get to that place you’re in of SCREW IT! and smile.
It is always wonderful to go on those trips when they are well needed!! So glad that you had a great time!
Also, I (kind of accidentially) used the word “asshat” in converstaion today. I had a few strange looks, and my explaination of where it came from wasn’t great (I did give props to Christa) wasn’t great. That word is very effective for stopping converstaion.
Ok what do we need to do to get you to start selling those pics? Or do you already? You’d be a rich man.
Normally, I’m just a lurker. But I have to stop again and say, “Damn. You are talented with that camera.”
Great Pictures Matt, love your new lens! Awesome Maddy pics as usual. I just adore that little lady! Glad you are safe at home and your house is Clean!
Wow, the Waldorf is gorgeous. I can’t believe the men’s room was that nice but didn’t have a changing table. Bummer. I would have loved to have seen the faces of people walking by when you changed her on the floor.
Right on Andrea!
glad you got home safe!!!!!!
awesome shots of nyc
So glad that you had such a great time in the NYC! I can’t wait to go there with my little girl one day. Things will get better. You are so strong! And I’m glad to hear there are still some decent humans out there to make life a little easier for good people like you!
Love to hear that the airline people are treating you well. Heaven knows they can make your trip or break it.
The photo of Madeline asleep in her pink jammies on your lap is just precious.
Sounds like a great little NYC adventure. Thanks for sharing.
PS: What was the new lens? Hubby has so many lens but is always looking for new great ones.
@ Melissa from NJ – I LOVE the B&H commercials – we recite them word for word in my house. They’re too much. Oh, and a good Chinese place in North Jersey would be a godsend…do tell.
Matt: Your pictures tell a wonderful story of dedication and love for your Divine Miss M. She’s an amazing piece of both you and Liz.
Enjoy your clean house and daughter. My little one waited until he was strapped into his car seat this a.m. before having his own “announcement” of dislike for being dragged around on errands. It went through the onesie, through the pants, and my husband just looked at me like, “What just happened?!?”
Ah, you just have to love the little ones…
Beautiful pics of NYC. Maddy is beautiful!
I love reading about the “kisses” from Liz that come your way- the kind airline employees, the upgrade(s), the people you’ve met along the way. Somehow, the sadness gets better- or maybe we get used to it. Whichever, it does happen. With hugs from my family and me… K
ok, first let me say that sol is nominated as Creep of the Week-not only did she send a Stand In Creep to meet you, she also posted FIRST! If thats not creepy, what is? (And sol, you know I mean all of this with nothing but love in my heart-youre awesome!)
. But even better, the majority of the people who are nosy enough to ask you react in such positive ways. That’s awesome!
Matt-so glad to hear the positive attitude. I know you might have hard times ahead, but to hear (read) you say, “it will get better” is fantastic. I still can’t get over how many people ask you “the question”! You must have a very open look to you….me and my bitchy attitude, people don;t even usually say hello
Very funny-right now the Google ads are for “baby changing tables”. Maybe i should send these links to the Waldorf! Hope you are having another great trip!!!!
@ Whitney in the NJ
http://local.yahoo.com/info-10863413-bill-harry-s-chinese-cuisine-east-hanover
I know Bill & Harry’s doesnt sound so chinesish. But DAMN its good. Right on route 10. No chinese hangover from MSG, and SO fresh.
great story….I can so relate to the poop blowouts that involve not only the diaper, but everything near the diaper…you sound like you’ve gotten to be an old pro at dealing with it calmly though! As usual, I love your photos, and DAMN if I don’t love your new freaking lens. That’s amazing. My daughter wants to be a photographer, wait till she sees those pictures. She, like you, takes her camera everwhere…taking photos out the window and making me stop to take pictures of abandoned barns, cows, street lights, you name it.
Anyway…I hope you’re enjoying your next journey…looking forward to reading tomorrow!
Manhattan is the place when you need to get away for a while. So many sights to see. I love the Empire state building and Waldorf photos. Looks like you may have hit M&H for a new lens too!!
Happy to see SOMEONE is getting good treatment from the airlines, might as well be you and your beautiful girl.
Hahahaha… Great… B&H Photo…
My husband and I were just in NY a couple of weeks ago. And we stayed at the Waldorf-Astoria. We LOVED the city. Gotta go back. I’m so glad you all had such a great time.
One day at a time.
Unsolicited advice: Don’t feel bad for not feeling bad. Then Don’t be surprised when all of a sudden you feel as raw and rotten as day one. You seem to do Ok letting yourself feel. Yea Matt-chew.
And if it’s not been said before, if you have a couple littlebittiebabyshitties explode, it could very well be time to move up a size in diapers. Huggies sux donkeydong, Luvs do all right, Target brand is noisy, but never leaked on me, but I’m going to vote Pampers myself. My Ava only spent about 2 weeks in size twos, and not all brands are the same size. Shit on, my baby friend. Shit on.
crap, my post got lost
@ Whitney in the NJ
http://local.yahoo.com/info-10863413-bill-harry-s-chinese-cuisine-east-hanover
I know Bill & Harry’s doesnt sound so chinesish. But DAMN its good. Right on route 10. No chinese hangover from MSG, and SO fresh.
Another who has to know what lens you picked up, as a fellow Nikkonian
I’m about to buy the 24-70 2.8
Have so enjoyed seeing your pictures and hearing your stories of your parallel experience in NY (My husband and I were there the same weekend, without our kids)
Speaking of poop… just wait until you have a two- year-old poop blowout of a wet swim diaper on the pool deck! I couldn’t catch him fast enough to keep him from trailing it like 15 feet. Yeah… I had an awesome weekend! Glad that you are only having baby-sized blowouts
Hugs from the NE!
I just re-read that… I apologize if anyone was eating when they read my comment
@ Whitney in the NJ
http://local.yahoo.com/info-10863413-bill-harry-s-chinese-cuisine-east-hanover
Best chinese in the area. If you dont live in Morris County let me know. I can point you to less, but good as well.
Thanks Matt!
Ok, now that I am out of Matt’s spam folder, I feel obnoxious.
A friend who makes awesome mix CDs put that PJ Harvey song on one of them for me and I played it over and over for a while. (Wonder where I put it)
We’re going to NY in September – your photos remind me to look forward to it!
It Will Get Better!
I love reading your blog, and watching Madeline grow. She’s a cutie-pie! Keep your head up, you are doing a fantastic job.
Definitely one day at a time
just came across your blog and loved reading about your adventures in NYC. i love & take comfort in knowing that the heart never forgets what it loved best. the memories may seem scary now, but in time, slowly but surely, things will get better. your bebe madeline is gorgeous!
greetings from newfoundland, canada
Beautiful pics of the city and your beautiful girl. She seems like business class
I’m glad you had a nice “vacation”. These things are needed! yay to nice airline employees, yay to creeps (lol), and yay to seeing good friends. All can put a smile on your face! You do a great job of putting a smile on Maddy’s.
Blow out reminds me of one at the Alta Mira Hotel in Sausalito with my son, then a toddler! I hope I can tell it to you and to him some day–not on the ‘net!
Good morning, Matt! This whole time warp/parallel universe thing you’ve got going on is throwing me off, but I do hope that it HAS gotten better for you in the week since the above happened…and that THIS Tuesday involves no calls to 911 for you and yours!
As for me, I’m thinking it’s going to be at least a week before I can stop rhythmically chanting “littlebittiebabyshitties” in my head. Gee thanks, Davezwife.
It will get better- and hooray for the upgrade!! I kept hoping that they would do that for you! As nice as the chocolates and big bottles of wine that they were giving you were – I thought some leg room and comfort would most likely go a lot further for ya!
Keep chuggin’ away- you’re doing awesome!
Ahhh blowouts…my worst experience was with my son at the MN state fair! Luckily it was after we had eaten everything on a stick otherwise that could have ruined my appetite for the whole day!
Hope you are having a great time in Banff! and @ Sol…way to go Creep of the week!!!
You are amazing. Keep making awesome memories with that beautiful baby girl of yours.
Matt~
I am a first time visitor to your site. I cried as I read about you and your sweet baby girl. I am sorry that you lost Liz, but believe that believe that Madeline is one lucky little girl.
I LOVE that you changed her on the floor of the Waldorf. I love that you both had the pleasure of an upgraded flight.
Madeline is beautiful. Your photography is fantastic. I’ll be back often.
Danielle
Hi Matt (and Madeline),
I love all the great photos and am living vicariously through you and your travels. Spence and I would love to come out to visit you and Madeline. Hope to chat with you soon.
Love, Danielle (Pankake) and Spencer Johnson
Love your new lens
I would have changed her on the check in counter
or in the lobby
It will get better
Your words, they touch me. I just wanted you to know that.
This is the first post I have made, but I have been reading with impunity…
Without discussing how I evidently feel about your world, I thought I’d share a “blow-out” moment with you.
My son Jack just was about two and a half, my husband and I, full of cabin fever, Chicago winter rage, and piss and vinegar, decided to take Jack, on a train, in a cab, and ultimately- in a stoller to Navy Pier and the Children’s museum. Granted, it was about 40 degrees (balmy for Chicago standards in early Mach) in the am….but 80 degrees by noon. It was insane. WAYYYY tooooooo many tourists, way too many smells, way too many sweat glands exposing their brunch menu, way too many close-talkers and sidlers.
Jack was loving it, and I was feelin’ guilty for drinkin’ the haterade all afternoon, so I just decided to stop being a killjoy. Suddenly, the clouds parted, birds were chirping, you get the drift…we had a ball that day.
Until we realized we left the diaper bag in the taxi.
I had two bottles and wipes in my gagage sized purse, so we never minded the bollocks.
As we are dodging Chicago Cubs Fans, we finally get to the train station with one way too small diaper I had miraculously found in the bottom of said purse.
DO NOT GAMBLE ON MURPHY’S LAW!!!
The platform could not even tolerate one more person. The fact that we are Sox fans just started to make me more nervous…like something was about to give. And it did.
We look down at Jack and he is itching at his butt with reckless abandon. We come in for a closer look.
The poor kid was dripping in feces. A pool of stool!!! Stool is not the right word as it insinuates something solid. The technicolor glow was immediately followed by an odor that could make the strongest man weep. It was definitely a 10, you know, like the scovil scale for pepper heat, this 10 is measured by an actual production of puke…not just a gag with chunks, but a real hurl.
We began to panic. Chris went into action like a true soldier, but immediately crumbled before the enemy. The road to hell is paved with good intentions, and he was on that road. The poor bastard puked all over the stroller, narrowly missing our son, who did not have a care in the world. Meanwhile, people are beginning to stare, causing a general gaper’s delay in our process.
All I can fucking do is laugh. LAUGH MY ASS OFF…like a maniacal in patient. Now Chris is angry as hell with me because I am USELESS and he can’t stand the shame! Jack is smiling, and that just makes me think of a pig in shit and now I am howling, crying, and about to pee in my pants because Now it’s my turn to release some fluid…I mean, why not, when in Rome….
We have to put our son on my windbreaker (who wears those things anyway, right?) and buy a bottle, a big one of water, and heist about 50 feet of bathroom roller paper towels for the job. The stares we getting made me laugh even harder…it was gnarly.
Sure enough, on the platform, we got him cleaned up, smiling and rearing to go. We DID have to dump (no pun) our stroller, because…well, because we did not want it anymore…it looked like it was napalmed with shit!
He shit all the way home on the train.
The pain and agony of the captive audience was palpable.
We laughed so hard, my Mother’s bladder finally gave way like a levee….
A TRIFECTA!!! I knew we could do it!!!
Long short of it?
We made it home. But now, I will carry diapers for the whole family and invest in a larger purse so my husband and his weak stomach will have a place to put his disgust!!! I will never forget that day, because you need to be armed at all times with a sense of humor and appreciate the small…shit.
Take Care Matt….You are the real deal.
Hey Matt,
I hope my posting this doesn’t piss you off or anything but I notice that you seem to always (or mostly) put the onesie over the pants. I’ve never seen this method before & I’m a mother of many. Typically, the onesie goes under the pants. Anyhow, you are doing AMAZING and sweet thing can rock that onesie on the outside and backwards forever and she’ll still be adorable, but just in case you didn’t realize it… most of the time the onesie is covered by the pants. And if my suggesting this to you is annoying or moronic or something you’ve heard and ignore for your own personal reasons then I apologize. I’ve been reading in reverse and I’m so excited that I’m almost to September – this is a lot of blog to read! Hopefully I’ll be caught up in a few weeks.