***monday***
birthday week 24/52
for madeline.
every week it feels
like she was born just
hours before.
but i hold her and
she no longer
fits in the space between
my palm and my elbow,
so it has to be
that she was born months,
not hours ago.
doesn’t seem possible.
none of this does.
had an early appointment
with a new friend
this morning.
madeline was on her
best behavior as
i enjoyed a cup of tea
and conversation at a
cafe on a very loud
wilshire blvd.
she didn’t even flinch as
ambulances drove past
with sirens screaming.
apparently our conversation
bored her, ’cause she
eventually fell asleep.
after tea we went
to the argentinian restaurant
on melrose to have
lunch with cara.
madeline had a bottle
and rolled her eyes
at the disinterested hipsters.
after lunch we went
home and took a nap.
i am still exhausted from
my weekend without her.
we both slept until
madeline was ready
to play…
about 3 hours of
uninterrupted sleep.
woke up feeling like a 100 bucks
but felt like a
million when i saw
that baby smiling at me
from the bassinet.
i pulled her
out and did my best
to make her laugh
while she sat in my lap.
eventually she laughed,
but it had nothing
to do with the
jokes i was telling.
.
the rest of the evening
was a lazy one.
sat in front of the tv,
introducing madeline to
her football team.
of course the vikes lost.
jerks.
based on her baseball experience,
she only backs winners,
so i’m a little worried that
she’s gonna become
a fan of the packers
(i’ll try to stop that).
later, she stared at me
while i heated up
a tray full of frozen
indian food.
talked to the g. grandparents
via the video conference,
showing them just how
much she’d grown
since last week.
madeline went
to bed around 10:00
and i did a little writing,
staying up until 4:30am.
madeline woke herself
up a few times during
the evening, but went
right back to sleep when
i stuck my head
in her bassinet.
it’s nice to know
that that’s all
it takes to soothe her
back to sleep.
***tuesday***
woke up on the couch
after only a few hours
of sleep.
madeline was still asleep,
but the lady
from the life insurance company
was stopping by to
take some samples,
just to ensure that
i’m healthy enough to pay
them a bunch of
money each year.
ah life insurance…
something we should have
taken care of, but didn’t.
i mean, who dies at age 30?
not someone as healthy as
liz.
have to do it
now in case
the worst happens
again.
strangely, it was just
last week that
i got a postcard
from our insurance company.
mailed to
liz,
that read,
“if you come in prior to your birthday, you may qualify for $125,000 life insurance policy for $16.97 per month.”
thanks.
the lady arrived on
time and took my
blood at a table
in my backyard.
said goodbye to her
then got ready for our morning.
jessica and joey
picked us up so we
could join them for
a visit to a backup
daycare facility.
got to the address, but
couldn’t find our way inside.
stood outside until we
saw another woman
with some kids and
followed her to
an unmarked door.
got inside and saw
met the director of the place.
told her that it was
difficult to
find our way inside.
she explained it was for
security purposes.
then she pointed to
the security cameras
in the ceiling.
this is some serious shit!
from the moment
we walked in, everyone
assumed that jessica
was my wife and
joey was madelie’s twin.
we set everyone straight
as we took the tour.
the director talked
to us for awhile,
telling us that we should
bring our significant others
in for a tour of the place.
i just nodded.
later, she told us
that we needed to bring
a photo of the other
parent so they
could positively id the person
picking child up.
again, i just nodded.
no need to tell
them about my situation…
this is only a backup option,
so i may never see
them again.
a couple of the teachers
hung out with the
kids as we saw the
rest of the place.
looks great…
got back to madeline and
the woman asked
me if she was breastfed.
told her that she wasn’t.
she gave me
one of those, “why the fuck not?” looks
then said to madeline,
“that’s okay…you still look big and strong.”
i could sort of sense
the condescension, so i told
her why madeline
is a formula-fed baby.
she apologized, i think for
my situation,
not the condescension.
left the place soon
after and had lunch
at the thai restaurant
1/2 a block
from where
liz
used to work.
madeline slept while
i thought about
all those times
i used to meet
liz
here for dinner when we
wanted to avoid
the traffic on the
ride home.
jessica and joey dropped us
off at home
and we both took a
short nap.
then we
took a few photos
in the grass.
then i took one inside
and the flash
surprised her a little bit.
then we listened to
one of daddy’s favorite albums
and played with
some toys.
later, we did a little
shopping for some diapers
(she has moved up to the next size!).
since it was tuesday
and we were already
half way to the record store,
decided that we should
go spend the gift certificate
we just got from
stranger friend aimee m. from the mn.
(thank you!).
plus there’s some
good shit getting released today
saw our favorite employee
as we checked out.
she played with madeline
for a few minutes
then told me she’d love
to watch madeline
any time i need a sitter.
so, so awesome.
a hipster who not only
loves babies, but offers
to babysit?
i wanted to give
her two high-fives.
headed home and
held madeline as she
got very fussy.
nasty pain from those
teeth, which are coming
but have yet to
reveal themselves.
tried all the recommended
remedies…amber necklace,
frozen toys/wash clothes,
homeopathic teething tablets, etc.
the only that seemed
to work was my finger.
ouch.
she finally fell asleep.
i caught up on a
few recorded episodes of
my new favorite show.
thought about my trip
to the daycare center
today…not sure i’m
ready for a lifetime
of those experiences.
***wednesday***
we both slept in a
lot later than
i intended.
we were already late
for breakfast,
and i had even showered.
had to sneak past
madeline, awake and laughing
in her bassinet, so she
wouldn’t see me leave
the room.
(she gets some serious separation anxiety when i’m not around…well, so do i).
got out of the shower
and ran to answer
my home phone,
the phone that
never rings.
had to run fast
before it went to
voice mail.
voice mail is full
and the message from the
coroner is still there,
so i can’t compel myself
to listen to the messages,
and i don’t feel like
i should just delete everything
for fear that the other
29 messages may
hold something of importance.
the call was interesting…
the name on the
caller id led me to
believe i was
about to talk to a telemarketer,
but i was wrong.
soon after, cara
arrived so we could
go to breakfast in
the eagle rock.
had an awesome
meal at the sidewalk tables.
got home, said goodbye to
cara and headed off to
run some errands.
stopped at the bank
to deposit a few checks.
some of the ladies
came up to us and
looked down at madeline,
remarking that she
looks huge compared to
our first visit to the bank.
indeed.
our conversation
was interrupted by the mailman.
i went about my business
then a few seconds later
the bank employee said,
“he just delivered another envelope for you”
so, so nuts.
finished up my stuff
and waited while they
grabbed a few packages
from the back that
had been delivered
since my last trip.
went home and worked
hard to keep madeline
from crying all afternoon.
this time it was
the rocking chair that
did the trick.
she passed out and i,
for the first
time in 5+ months,
took some action
to clean up the
disaster that my house
has become since
liz
died.
i saw things i
hadn’t even noticed…
pieces from curtain rods
that had been replaced
four months ago,
multiple, nearly-empty
bottles of hand soap,
a wooden paint stir-stick.
why the fuck was
all this stuff sitting out?
why didn’t i notice it
all before today?
i talked to one of
my widow friends
during this cleaning fit
and she told me that
she had a similar experience
months after her
husband died.
she said,
“this means you’re finally having a good day, a day when you’re not thinking about it all day.”
yeah…i guess she
was right.
don’t know why this
happened today, but it did.
there’s still a long
way to go before
the house looks truly
put back together,
but today was
a good start.
would have gotten
more done, but that
teething, drooling baby
of mine demanded
some attention.
i captured one of my
favorite things on video:
then we watched the early
part of the dodger game.
a couple of innings
into the game we got
a visit from strangers friends
sarah, rick and four-month old nathan k., in town
from the vancouver.
we hung out for
awhile, talking a lot
about baseball and what
it’s like to raise a
baby that loves to
drool as much as
i love cheeseburgers.
as they left,
they handed me a bag with
some gifts for madeline.
so, so nice.
said goodbye to our
visitors and watched the
end of the game with madeline.
she went to bed
and i heated up
a frozen pizza.
still can’t get myself
to do anything more
than that in our kitchen.
too many memories,
cooking with
liz,
using the stuff that
we got as wedding gifts.
spent the rest of the
night listening to
those new albums
i bought yesterday.
one of them is
really depressing.
should have known
this just by
looking at the song titles.
today was a pretty good day…
one that gave me
a glimmer of
hope for the future.
don’t really
know why.
221 Comments
Yay for a new post! Work gets so boring without having new stuff from your blog to read
P
I hope Madeline will like her new daycare. My kids are a bit older (ages 3 and 4 yrs old) but when I pick them up from pre-school it’s the best. First to see their big smiles and have them running towards me, but also to see them in action and playing with other kids on the playground. Soon your Madeline will be running around like that too! Once they start walking…well, they don’t walk, they run, so good thing you have some new New Balance shoes to keep up with her.
Oh and about those amber necklaces. They only work once they have been worn next to the skin for an extended period of time. Amber isn’t technically a stone and the oils from the amber are released from the warmth of the skin. It’s the property of the oil that is absorbed into her skin that helps with the teething/drooling. So if you want to try it out again, keep it on her for a week and see if you notice any difference. OK, heopfully all this info doesn’t bug you…I just really think they are wonderful and not very many people in the US know about them.
Rub her fuzzy head for me!
No love for the Pack? Just kidding
Loved the dachshund outfit! Too cute!
I never said hi before but I check your blog every morning. And that’s all I’ll say right now.
HOLA Matt
BUEN DIA
Love to read… “today was a pretty good day…
one that gave me a glimmer of hope for the future”…..
You and Maddy DESERVE a BRIGHT/HAPPY/AMAZING future!
You Rock!
Thanks for teaching me how important is to stay POSITIVE!.
Have a wonderful day
Besos y abrazos
Sol
p.s. I wonder what type of argentinean food is served in melrose restaurant?
I just found your blog tonight. I’ve had a strange mixture of tears and giggles. Madeline is absolutely gorgeous! She seems like a happy baby.
p.s. BADASS robot, man… I would have bought it too.
Ah, day care. Our boys have been in it since each was 3 months old. No matter how good the center is, it sucks royally at the beginning to leave your kid with other people. You feel guilty. Selfish. Sad.
Here’s what someone once told me, though, and I’ve passed it on to many a working parent who’s felt like crap leaving their kid(s) at day care….It never hurts to have more people in the world who love your child, and that’s what you’ll find at the right day care.
Smart of you to have a backup. We never did, and then we had to move our older son at 14mos to a place that could handle what the dr suspected was asthma (needed lots of neb treatments during the day), and it was a scramble, I can tell you.
I love that Madeline makes your days brighter.
Love the squeaks that Madeline makes now! So freaking adorable.
Glad that you had a “good” day (which is all relative since 5+ months ago you would have had a different idea of what a good day is.)
Here’s hoping you have more good days than not-so-good days.
oh how i love, love, LOVE the video of madeline sneezing…. looks like she will take after her daddy in that category!!!
i love her!!!
i am happy that each day is improving – even slightly – and that you see it – even if you dont know the reason.
of course with that bea.u.ti.ful doll baby of yours, whose days wouldnt get better!?!
with much aloha….
I love baby sneezes! Maddy’s eyelashes are so long and beautiful!
That is so awesome that you had a good day and you are sleeping more. Gorgeous video of your girl!
Keep on Keeping on
She’s getting so big!!!
http://andria-and-co.com
Hi Matt,
Gotta remember to get one of those when my time comes.
Loved the pics of Maddy in the grass. And that wee chair is too cute.
And YAY for the good days… hope they keep coming (for whatever reason).
-jen in bangalore
Madeline is just beautiful….thanks for continuing to write your beautiful words and for the breathtaking pictures of fuzzy haired, drooling baby.
First??
So glad that you’ve had some good days. Madeline is precious – love the sneezing video and her little baby squeals! You’re doing a great job with her. Before you know it she’ll be chatting away. Thanks for letting us into your lives!
Try Hurricane for the teething. It works great! It is over the counter but you have to ask the pharmacist for it. I was a little worried about using something that was not made for babies, but the nurse at my pediatrician’s office told me about it and I later found out that almost every one a know with a baby also uses it. I know if is horrible to see your baby in pain and not be able to help her like you want.
Hi Matt,
Hi Madeline,
Warm wishes to both of you…
Still reading…
I love love love the photo of suprised Maddie when the flash went off! I’m so happy that you had your first relatively good day- where the haze lifted a little…I’m pulling for you two!
And no way…am I first? Nah…that never happens!
Asalamlaykom Mr. Matt,
I read a quote yesterday and thought of you:
“It isn’t for the moment you are struck that you need courage, but for the long uphill climb back to sanity and faith and security.”
It sounds pithy until you realize who wrote it: Anne Morrow Lindbergh. Then it sounds deep. She suffered. That woman can truly speak to us about, “the moment you are struck.” And she was so courageous. She went on to live fully and to have more children! She channeled her deep thoughts into, “Gifts from the Sea,” and other writings.
You are also channeling yourself into endeavors, like this blog, which will syphon off the pain and allow for more glimmers; more feelings of sanity and faith and security.
As for Miss Madeline’s pain, keep remembering that the ATTEMPT at pain-relieving is the key. You keep trying all the tricks. She will sense, that no matter what, you are really there for her and loving her big time.
She is beautiful, mashahallah. Some are going to say, “She is beautiful like her mom,” and that is a terrific thing to say. Your Liz was a light on this earth.
But, speaking as a mom who has deeply loved the father of my child, I prefer to see my beautiful boy as that perfect mix of everything which was best in each one of us. Somehow, I imagine Your Liz thinking this way too. She loved you so much that I don’t think she’d want Miss Madeline to only look like her; she’d want that blessed mix. Mashallah, Miss Madeline has it and that’s why the lady at the pier once said she was created from pure love.
May Allah protect you; keep you healthy and strong for this uphill climb you are taking with your beautiful girl in the Baby Bjorn.
I had to drop a note, I have once before and couldn’t resist today, my how Madeline has grown and is such a beautiful little gal, love her peach fuzz hair. You too have grown Matt, and I’m happy for that. There will not be a day that goes by that you won’t wish, if only things were different, but they aren’t I guess but you will go on, with that precious little girl by your side. Loved the sneezes, so, so cute aren’t they. Here’s to another pretty good day!!!
What a great post! Let me just say that sneezing video is possibly the cutest thing I’ve ever seen! I love baby sneezes, but that little noise she made before the first one was priceless! How could you not want to stay with her 24/7?!
It’s awesome how you are constantly surrounded by friends (and good music). So glad to hear things started to look up for you a bit. You are doing an *incredible* job, and are thought about/prayed for/supported much more than you know! Take care.
Good Morning! Gotta say that I was laughing so hard at the video of Madeline sneezing.
Too cute.
There were other “observations” I noted while reading the entry, but none that you need a
strangerfriend to point out to you.Wishing you a good day…
Matt- Any chance you or aj could set up your blog so that all the creepers/stalkers/lurkers and others could subscribe to it and be automatically notified via email when there was a new entry?
I don’t want to seem like I need to be hand-fed, but I can’t tell you how many times a day I’m here checking to see if I’m missing some news!! It’s making me really unproductive and I’m a stay-at-home mom. I can’t imagine what it’s doing to office productivity around the world for those gals checking while on the clock!!
Just a thought…
that’s a seriously cute sneeze. but you know that. it’s always great to catch those little things on video.
Nice work on setting that day care lady straight! Seriously though, I am glad that place is your “backup”. Happy to see picture of big girl Maddy! The next diaper size? she is getting so big!
Hugs from Chi to you and Maddy, and I’m glad you had “a good day”
It’s official. . . You have the cutest daughter ever. Thanks for sharing the videos. She is just precious!
First? Awesome. I love seeing the video of M. What a little lady.
I can’t believe Madeline is cutting teeth already! Such a milestone, such a headache for daddy!
Glad today was one that had hope for you, Matt. I encourage you to get in the kitchen and use those wedding gifts…soon Madeline will appreciate the wonderful things you cook for her, and before you know it, as you are witnessing every day, she’ll be in there helping you create! Blessings to you from Texas.
Yes, prevent her from becoming a cheese head at all costs. At least she won’t remember that horrible Mon Night Football game.
Cute, cute cute pics of her in the bumbo chair! It has made me decide that I definitely need to get my Bella one.
Those videos are so cute. She has gotten to be so animated! You are doing such a fantastic job with her, she is such a happy baby.
Hope for the future–an awesome thing…so glad you have a hopeful heart and always have, evident in the way you have raised Madeline…
I love the peach fuzz hair! I am so sorry about the teething. Its awful I know. The molars are the worst. Prepare yourself.
Hi Matt and Madeline… I have been reading another stranger here. Im glad everything is starting to get a little easier. I couldn’t imagine doing everything you do Matt. And Madeline’s little sneeze adorable! Hold on to her, shes growing up mega fast! If you ever need a stranger to talk to … im here . Be positive Matt… it will take a while but it will get a little better.. promise.
first? So glad things are starting to look up for you, Matt. Enjoy this time you have with her before you go back to “work”…ugh…I know it will be hard!! But you will be so glad to end the day and go grab her up and squeeze her tight! You have inspired so many people with your life that you will just never know! I look forward to the new day when I get to log onto my computer and read your latest! Thanks for sharing your prize possession with the world
give little Maddy bunches of kisses!!
Baby sneezes and squeels are awesome!
I’m so glad for you that you felt what a good day could be.
The bumbo chair in the grass – where she’s looking off into the distance…amazing!
As usual…
Looking forward to the 21st…what an AWESOME tribute to this awesome family –
xoxo – darcie
My two boys just love watching videos of Madeline. It really makes their day (and mine too) when they get to see the “little baby” smile and sneeze.
Got my new Robots for Obama shirt today and love it! So cool….Madeline is so big! Love the new videos!
The sneezing video is the sweetest thing ever. I have yet to catch my youngest (7 months on Monday) sneeze on video, but its precious. ALL things baby are precious.
You are doing a magnificant job… keep it up. And keep your chin up, you are strong.
Seriously cute videos.
I’m sorry you have widow friends, but I’m glad they are there to support and lend advice as they truly KNOW.
Cheers,
Go Pork
Fuck ASSHATS!
am I first? Glad to hear from you, sorry about Maddie’s teething, it does sometimes suck, poor little thing!
Happy week 24 to Madeline. She is looking like such a big girl and so, so happy. Glad to hear your steps are in the forward direction, I don’t know how you do it stranger/friend (see I can’t even get the strike through). Got my new shoes yesterday just to show my support for the great job you are doing for your family. Take care and hope you have another good day.
SO glad that you had a good day! Here’s hoping for MANY more hope-filled days!
Still unclear as to what a hipster actually is…
oh my gosh that sneeze is the cutest thing I’ve ever heard. It is so quick!
I’m glad you’re seeing a glimmer into the future.
Continuing to send you tons of happy vibes!!
She is so cute. You are doing such a good job. I love baby sneezes. My son makes a little “ahhh” noise after each one. Like he really really enjoyed it. I’m glad things are feeling more hopeful for you.
The sneeze made me smile and giggle. Thanks for sharing your beautiful daughter with all of us. To more good days!!!
Seriously? That day care lady needs a lesson in a little decorum. I can’t get over the whole BS about breasting feeding Vs. Bottle Feeding stereotype. If breastfeeding solved everything we wouldn’t have 3rd world countries. I am trying to think of something witty to end this with but I’m low on caffeine. I got nothing.
My 5 month old loved watching the video of Madeline sneezing. She is getting so big.
All I think of when I see pictures of Madeline is she is so precious and beautiful. I Love watching video’s of her too and I watch them with a huge smile as if I’m watching video’s or looking at pictures of my own 2 daughters.
Daycare…I cried the first day I dropped my daughter off (bawled like a big baby) and you know what? She could care less about me. She saw new people and other babies and she was so happy. I wasn’t sure if that made me feel worse or better? Good luck in that next stage! You will both be fine…you’ll get through it like you have everything else..
Christine
Madeline’s sneeze is the cutest! As always, you are hands down the best dad around. You two are made for each other. I can’t wait to see how things go as she grows up. Constantly praying for you.
I heart maddie’s fuzzy little head!!!
So, so glad I looked at this first thing this morning.
That little sneeze video just turned my whole day around! Miss M is magical. 
That daycare center sounds WILD! We have ones here that have keypads on the door, but geez…one where you cant even FIND the door? That’s some CIA shit there. Good luck with that.
First? Probably not but one can dream!
I love the sneeze video! If anyone can make a sneeze look absolutely adorable, it is Madeline!
Loved this entry. Love the videos of Madeline, especially her sneezes. So, so cute.
She is so beautiful. Seems like she looks more and more like her mommy every day.
Still doing a wonderful job, Matt. And fuck that lady at the daycare re: Maddy being a formula-fed baby. I don’t even know why anyone would ask that question, seeing as how it’s none of their damn business.
Glad it was a good day!
What a great sneezer! Bless you baby. Hope you two have a great day.
Hi Matt,
Wow i can’t believe i am the first comment. That never happens, and probably won’t once i actually get this written and posted. We’ll see. I’m so bummed that i can’t see the videos at work (stupid work computers and their restrictions). I absolutely love the pictures of Maddy. She is getting so big and is so georgeous. I just can’t take it. Congrats on the shirts, they look great. I can’t wait to pick one up. I’m so glad to hear that you are having better days. I hope they continue to increase each and every day. Take care and sending some hugs to you and Maddy. Have a good one.
Been away for awhile, boy did I miss some goings on! So happy for good days, and hope for many more to come.
Hope means that no matter what adversity you face and no matter how hard times get you know your sunshine will come.
I am glad, you are feeling that. Even if it’s just a glimmer.
I heart you!
i heart baby sneezes
Madeline is just beautiful. I love all of the pictures you’ve posted and I will soon be purchasing my “robot pissed” shirt. I told my hubby about it and he wants one too! Sending a hello from myself and my little man, Theo, who is 20 months.
A dreary day in Wisconsin was just brightened by the video of the sneezes! I laughed and cried; so precious! She is such a beautiful girl–thank you so much again for sharing both of you with the world…
sometimes all you need is a glimmer of hope, no explanation necessary. i will walk for liz in the gmt +1. love from japan
Wonder if we need to all put our $ together so you can hire a nanny, Matt. Glad that daycare is your back-up! Videos are amazing and so sweet. Miss Madeline is turning into a darling little girl.
Can’t explain how good it is to hear you say you’ve had a glimmer of hope for the future, regardless of whether or not you know why. Don’t fall in to the trap of feeling guilty for having a good day. It doesn’t diminish the love you have for Liz in any way.
Thinking of the two of you often. Love that sneeze. What a beautiful little girl you have there. She’s lucky to have a great father like you – I know what it’s like to have a baby who is missing a parent. I know it’s hard but you’re doing really well.
xoxo
OMGosh, that sneeze was just about the cutest thing I’ve ever seen! hahahaha
matt – You can really see that Madeline’s hair is starting to grow!!! its adorable. and her sneezes – just precious.
Had to look at that video of her sneezing again! Too cute!
you have one adorable little girl….best of luck with the daycare thing
You will always have days that are hard, but yes, it will get better. You will have new things to think about Liz, that will make it better.
You are doing wonderful and Madeline is beautiful. Looking more like her mother as she grows older. You are going to have your hands full when she starts to date.
thanks for the update!!! it made my morning
please thank madeline for bringing her magic to the packers on monday night. we appreciate it!!
I started coming out of my daze last week. It’s hard to think the world around you has kept moving while your world has collapased. I’m glad you have so much support though. I think being around people is one of the only things that has kept me sane since the loss of my son- it would be so easy to just disappear from society otherwise. Take care.
Great videos. And great Bumbo pictures. And fuck that lady with the breastfeeding bitchiness. “Still”? Barf.
It’s nice to hear that you had a good day. I wanted to punch that daycare lady for you – who says shit like that?
I’ve tried everything to make Moira happy in the teething department but she likes my fingers – or her Dad – the best too.
holy cute sneezes.
Matt-Sounds like you made it through an “average day”, which is a huge accomplishment. Maybe that’s why it felt ok.
Love the baby sneezes…is there anything cuter??? And I’m so, so happy to see that she has not inherited your sneezes…
I love the sneezes video! Oh and by the way, is a lurker FIRST!!!????!!
glad to read of your glimpses of hope. that makes me smile for you – really glad you’ve had a smooth week – and the sneezes. good god. that’s fucking cute.
Oh Matt. I just love those videos. Thank you so much for posting them. It brings a smile to my face to see that little baby laugh and play.
Do you have an exersaucer? I bet she’d really entertain herself in that, building up her leg strength and hand coordination….not to mention, dancing to your music while she sings.
I’m so glad you see the little glimmer of hope. Your future may not be what you always thought it was going to, or be what you hoped it would be…but that doesn’t mean it can’t be equally good just in a different way….
I have never seen Sam (7mo) so mesmerized and content as he was watching Madeline’s sneezing video. Then he smiled and laughed at it!! Too cute.
You know (here comes more unsolicited advice but that is just what parents do together, sorry) I think I posted a comment a couple of days ago and i accidentally deleted it and did not have time to rewrite it. But I wanted to tell you as much as we love the teething tablets something that I think works tremendously and way better -@ least we have better luck with is “Chamomlie Calm” and if they are really fussy “Valerian Super Calm” by Herbs for Kids . I kid you not, I swear by this stuff. and then when the gums are swollen and erupting I use “Gum-omile Oil” by Herbs for Kids. It numbs the gums. (don’t give her too much if you find it, it is pretty potent) But I gave it to Emma when she was working on her 6 year molars and she said it really helped. (I felt better getting her input as I have been using this stuff on my last 3 kids never knowing if it really did?!?!)
When you mentioned Madeline was first teething (as is Sam) a light bulb went on and I remembered I had this stuff still. Ran and got it, gave it to my fussy baby and damn, it works like a charm!! It is for nerve support so I give it on days when your kid is just “off” and you do not know why. if interested -You can get it at a health food store. (or let me know and my next trip to Durango I can snag you some)
What do you think of my video from our visit?? My first attempt at creating one!!http://www.mydeo.com/videorequest.asp?XID=3669&CID=218851
Ahhh, those videos are truly amazing. Thanks for sharing your life with us, Matt
i’ve never commented before, but truly enjoy your writing style and your taste in music.. and i adore your baby girl! YOU are an awesome dude and she is absolutely precious!! *HUGS*
I could watch those videos of Madeline all day. And that sneeze? How can something so normal be so amazing??
Glad you had a pretty good Wednesday. Hope today is good, too.
Hmmm… tried to post a comment but something weird happened w/ my computer. This is what I said in case it didn’t go thru.
Take care!
Damn it. Just noticed the date for the walk and I’ll be in Vegas! I would have loved to have been able to join you at Lake Calhoun. Just 5 miles north of my house so it would have been easy for me to make it. I’ll be thinking of you all out walking that day and I’ll walk in Vegas in honor of Liz!
Hope needs not be questioned, just celebrated. Congratulations!
That last video is absolutely adorable. Madeline is so sweet! She really is a ray of sunshine.
Oh, dear. I feel a multi-topic rant coming on.
re: security at daycare centers… At the time of that shooting at the Jewish daycare facility in Granada Hills, my boy was at a facility on the same street. So, I was at work and heard on the news “shooting at daycare on Rinaldi” and I almost fell outta my chair. It took about an hour before I knew it was not our daycare center. Now, daycare center & school lockdowns, where all doors are locked and all kids are locked in classrooms, are commonplace. Crazy shit, Man.
As for condescension… I dunno, I think I’ve said this before — I get that almost everyday, on one topic or another. I got it yesterday over something I was calling my pediatrician’s office about. I get it from the other parents at school (that’s real fun, wait’ll you get a load of THAT). I used to get it from my sister until she stopped talkin’ to me (what a relief). My mom used to say, Honey, consider the source. This is indicative of a problem with the people doing the JUDGING, not YOU. That helped for awhile, but eventually, you just get worn down. I’m 10 years into this parenthood thing, and I’m just a nub. I got one nerve, and everybody’s on it. I don’t need people to help me; I just need people to not make my day harder, not make my life worse. Most days, that seems like too much to ask.
And let’s not even get started on the breastfeeding thing. Imagine the looks you get if you’re the WOMAN, and in the hospital you say, “No, I won’t be breastfeeding.” “Don’t you even want to TRY?” the nurse says incredulously. “No,” said I, smiling, having thought his through very carefully months before. Why why why do people have to defend these highly personal things?!
Okay, I’m done.
GREAT video of the Maddstress, BTW!
she really is adorable. although, in the video, i don’t think she was listening to the music as much as she was trying to poop. teehee
good to hear you’re cleaning. it was months…almost six, when i hit that point.
Madeline’s eyelashes are so long and pretty! She is just too adorable! I was up pretty much all last night also due to the wonderful teething….. let me know if you need some more diaper coupons, nevermind I will just mail them to you anyway!
Take care,
Debbie
Oooh, baby sneezes!!! Always the best. They look so overwhelming, almost. That wide-eyed look they get afterwards, like “what in the WORLD was THAT?”
So happy to hear there has been a little glimmer of hope for you. While I have not lost a spouse, I have lost two children (twins in 5th month of pregnancy), and I know it takes a long time to notice those glimmers. Hang in there – you’re doing great.
Love, love, love the videos of Madeline! I can’t believe how big she is getting and she’s cuter each time I see her (if that’s possible!).
Sending hope your way from Indiana!
Julie
Is there anyting better than baby sneezes…well baby yawns are pretty good too. Tess sneezes all the time too, and it is hilarious. I am also glad I am not the only one who hasn’t moved the baby out of the bassinet – those bassinets are so damn cozy, it is hard to get them in a big crib.
Sorry about the nasty lady at the daycare – people can be clueless.
First? weird…
i’m so glad you had a “good” day. keep your head up.
Madeline looks so big! she is cuter everyday!
I’m glad you found just a small piece of hope today!
=)
HUGS from Canada!
My heart melted watching the videos. She is so preciously adorable. Ugg at the snotty day care lady, there are tons of reasons why babies aren’t breast fed, shame on her for judging you.
good god, she’s cute.
glad things are looking up for you.
sometimes you dont know why and that’s not a bad thing……deep breath, say thank you god or whoever and take a few more steps forward….;)
I have never cared about blogs, I mean I am around plenty of people & their drama all day! But for whatever reason (creepy broad I guess!) I care about your day & even more about the cutie pie. So, great, now I am following your blog. Hang in there, thank God for babies, eh?
I’m glad you had a good day, Matt, and that things are looking up for you. Loved your post, and I can feel the hope in your story all the way over here in Houston.
Loved the sneezes.
Cutie Madeline
Love the sneeze…
The sneezes are too cute- I watched it a few times! I don’t think she’ll scare anyone with hers. Does she get as scared by yours as you said Liz did?
Those videos of her are freakin precious! Awesome job on capturing the baby sneezes. I’m happy to hear that you’ve had a good day finally.
First…?! No chance.
the sneezes were too cute…I am glad today was a better day..madeline is becoming quite the ham on camera, too.
SonicWall is blocking access to your new favorite show due to “mature content.” Reprobate.
Can you tell us who was on the phone? You have peaked my interest.
OKEY..I must to admit that I’m very intrigued about the “mistery call” you have Received….I know I know…it is non of my business but still….
So glad you had a pretty good day! I love those videos of Maddy. She is an absolute doll. She definitely has a fun personality starting to show! Enjoy your good days. You are allowed to!
I’m glad you had some okay days in there….I hope you find just the right daycare facility for Madeline…only the BEST will do for her! I wonder what the deal was with the woman and her non-breastfeeding remarks anyway? There are still plenty of folks who don’t breastfeed and no matter what the reason, a person shouldn’t be talked to in any type of condescending manner based on something so ignorant! I breastfed 3 of my 4 kids and still feel the need to explain WHY I didn’t breastfeed the one child. I really hate that…she has grown up to be just as healthy and happy as the rest of them, so pfffttt on anyone who says anything otherwise!
You’re doing an awesome job with Madeline and I love, love, love the videos. Makes me miss that baby stage so much!
Love that video of Madeline sneezing, so cute. Glad to hear you say “bless you” to her, my boyfriend never says that when anyone sneezes. I think that’s really wierd.
As for that woman at the daycare, what a fuckin moron. Glad you set her straight.
Sorry Madeline’s gums are hurting, my Remedy is going through the same too.
Also glad you felt that glimmer of hope. I think a child often brings that out for us. *smile*
Glimmers. Hopefully they will come more frequently and last longer in the coming days, weeks, months roll on.
Madeline is so expressive and reactive. What a doll!
Glad to hear that things are getting better for you! She sure is getting bigger and more beautiful each day! Keep being strong!
Love the startled picture! Glad you had a good day.
Oh and this is me shaking my head at the woman who commented on the breastfeeding, so uncalled for in any situation.
lol her sneezes are so cute. And she is already clapping..well done. Matilda is nowhere near that yet. lol.
Thinking of ya!
Oh my word, I LOVE the sneezing video! My little guy (15 months old) just watched and smile… I think he might have a crush on a younger woman!
OMG! Those sneezes are so frikin’ cute!
Baby sneezes=stinkin’ adorable! What a beautiful gift that little girl is!!
Happy 24 week birthday Maddie. You’re getting so big and even your sneezes are adorable.
Sounds like things are settling back down into your routine this week. Good luck with the day care. It can be scary trying to find a place that can love and care for your child as much as you do.
Matt-
It sounds like you really are having some good days – I am so, so glad to read that!
Maddie is beautiful, her eye’s are so so blue they remind me of the pictures of Liz.
Thanks for sharing your life with us creeps
love from the MN
kris
Oh NO Sweet Madeline,
The Packers are evil!
- #4 Fan
Hey Matt. I’ve been reading for a long time but haven’t commented before. I think you’re a wonderful dad to Madelyn and she is extemely lucky to have such a wonderful, caring person like you in her life. I enjoy your pictures and your videos of her, she looks a lot like you too
If you’re ever thinking of taking another Canadian vacation, come visit us at the Prince Edward Island, we’d love to show you around and I’m sure my little boy, Cohen, would smother Miss Maddy in kisses!
Take care.
One of my favourite EVER things is fuzzy baby hair. Love it. Madeline is so sweet, fuzzy hair and everything else! I think she has her mother’s smile.
Oh wow. She is such a sweetheart. I watched the Sneezes video like four times.
Just wanted to pass on some HUGS! You’re doing a great job with Maddy – she’s so beautiful – just like her mom AND dad.
First! Wow!! Go me!!
I watched one of the videos with my daughter – she just turned 1 and she was trying to hand Maddie her lovey blanket the whole time!! I think maybe she thought it was a video of herself b/c she and Maddie have almost identical hair styles
I also agree about the daycare lady and the BF comment – hopefully you put her in her place in such a way that she will never judge another person again without knowing the entire story. It’s so easy to judge and assume things but you never know what is going on in another person’s life.
Matt,
I’ve been a lurker/stranger/friend for a while now and I check in with you and Madeline every day. You are an amazing dad and Madeline is BEAUTIFUL..but you knew that already. Keep up the good work, you are doing an awesome job! Liz would be so proud of you.
Rosie (in the San Jose)
Boy, when I initially clicked on comments, it only said 19, now at 83 comments later, here I am.
Poignant post. I usually smile and cry each time I come to your page.
Take care
So glad to hear that good days are popping up here and there.
Did my post get deleted? No love for creeps in Berlin anymore? (crying gumball)
I even have Jana from Spreadshirt hand delivering a t-shirt to me!
Adorable video–thanks for sharing. Love the Bumbo seat pix too. I am sorry your were subjected to the judgmental chick–totally uncalled for and unfortunately, typical. Too bad that didn’t know how much you rock as a parent. Their bad.
Have a great day and hugs to Maddie.
Ummm, ok. I just saw the post and see that I even got firsties!! :O) The day may go on….happy camper once again.
PS-meeting up with Jana from Spreadshirt on the 29th of this month…how cool is that? I’ll take a pic :O)
I LOVE baby sneezes!
Madeline’s hair is coming in nicely. It won’t be too long before you can tie a bow in it! The picture with her peach fuzz showing in the sunlight is adorable!
Glad you were able to have a couple of good days.
Glad to hear you’re having good days! Love, love Maddy’s sneezes and all the different sounds coming out her mouth! ADORABLE! She’s getting so big! Take care and enjoy every minute of every day!
Hi Matt!
I have never left a comment before. Guess I have felt like it doesn’t matter since there are hundreds that do. Anyway, just wanted to tell you that you rock my socks off. Your blog is one of my very favorites and I check back numerous times a day.
Keep your head up. You’re doing a fabulous job.
ummm… it is 12:30 cental time and no comments showing? I know darn well I am not the 1st, hopefully everything is ok with Matt and Maddy that he just hasn’t be able to approve posts… I have a feeling we have just overwhelmed or blown out the host server!
Wow, SO many people thought they were first…that shows you how many people are addicted to this blog and are checking it every few minutes! Crazy.
Can I just ask…WHY WHY WHY does anyone even ASK if a child is breast-fed…?! What possible difference could it make, and more importantly, WHAT business is it of theirs?! This makes me irate.
Okay…gotta go take some deep breaths and cool down now before I belt somebody.
i read this quick on my way out the door this morning and thought for sure the viking/packer battle would be more heated then the political ones. glad i was wrong. also so pleased that you are getting her set up with football. kept meaning to ask if you were a football fan. i am a HUGE fan of all things football (except I can’t really get into the arena league stuff) with baseball being my second sport of choice.
was so happy to see that you are having some positive days with the glimmering hopeful future. keep on with one minute at a time.
sorry ms madeline is having a rough go with the teething. it sucks ass when the babes are in pain. give her an extra smooch from me!
(((hugs)))
wow, i was so NOT first. i wonder why no one’s post were showing up?
Matt, go VIKES is right! My boyfriend is a HUGE Vikings fan and is from the MN. We are chicago transplants and being from IL I am a huge bears fan but I do root on the Vikes when they are not playing the bears. He knows I read your blog religiously so he was even more delighted to hear that you were a Vikings fan! But I do have to admit, they looked a little rocky on Monday. We’ll see how they stack up to the colts. You are doing a fabulous job with Madeline. Gosh, I just want to squeeze those cute little cheeks of hers. Glad you had a good day-my hopes for many more good days to come for you! All the best from Chicago!
Okay, how funny is it that we all thought we got “firsties” on our posts!! I was also surprised at 6:36a.m that I would be first. I wasn’t. If Iived closer, I would watch your sweetie pie for free. Come work in Valencia so you can just drop her off here… Anyway, hope everyone has a great day and glad we’re off the subject of politics….for now at least. hugs…
I just found your webside via Heather from extraordinary ordinary . . . after I had children I was overwhelmed with the fear of what would happen to them if I weren’t here, who could ever possibly love them as much as I do? And my greatest wish would be that my husband be doing exactly what you are doing.
Love that fuzzy head.
Matt, welcome to the Mommy Wars. Birth center vs hospital. Natural vs C-section. Breast vs bottle. Stay at home vs work. Nanny vs center. I think everyone needs to chill and realize we are all doing the best we can, and doing the best for our own families.
Glad you had a good day.
aaah! i love watching her grow up before my eyes, even if it is just in front of my monitor..
(sigh)
Hope to see you guys soon…
~g
I’ve just about pissed myself watching those two sneezes!
been a lurking creep for a while … never knew what to say before …
madeline’s little squeal and sneezes made me laugh out loud. she’s getting so big! you’re doing a great job, matt and all us creeps just know you will continue to do so. we’re all pulling for you.
LOVE LOVE LOVE the shirts… totally can’t decide which to pick up.
SO glad to hear you had a good day. i hope those days become more frequent for you. hang in there!!
In the second photo of M sitting in the grass, she looks a lot like you.
I glad you had a good couple of days and that breaks my heart about the voicemail and the coroner. After my dad passed, my mom wouldn’t turn his cell phone off so she could call his voicemail and listen to his voice. Do whatever you need to help your hurt.
Glad you are caught up on your posts.
@Cindy: Come walk with me and Kate at Placerita Canyon on the 21st!!
Matt, I don’t know if any of my previous comments ever got posted: I have a creepy feeling I did something wrong and jeopardized my earlier chances to tell you just how absolutely AWESOME you are. Aside from your blog (to which I am shamelessly addicted), you are an amazing parent, and your beautiful little girl – who gets just beautifuller and beautifuller with each passing day, and also more and more like her Mommy – is certainly a tribute to your efforts. I bet you’re no longer intimidated by the task of matching outfits: seems like you’re doing a fantastic job in that area also. Plus remember, at around age 3 or so, she’ll probably tell you what SHE wants to wear, and god help you if you don’t let her. (I have a 4.5 year old with a very keen sense of fashion.)
Love,
Olga
Westchester, IL
@Olga – my daughter was 16 months when she started having opinions about what to wear.
I love the Madeline Show! She is beautiful, indeed. And though Maddy does look a great deal like Liz, there is much of you in her face/smile/laugh. Yosra, as usual, put it best (and most beautifully).
These supermax daycare centers sound scary, but Maddy will be fine. Just make sure she stays out of the baby gangs and knows how to turn her pacifier into a shiv so she can protect herself when shit gets crazy.
(On a serious note, though, it’s fucking scary that such a high level of security is required at a daycare center in the first place.)
xxxxx
Too funny that she fell asleep during your coffee house conversation. Babies are cute like that.
My kids are 12 and 16, and these days I’M the one who falls asleep, taking naps on weekends. What goes around comes around.
Nothing better than baby sneezes! Glad to read that there have been some glimmers, Matt. Many x’s and o’s to your little M.
Rgh… the breastfeeding comment would have chapped my hide! You have a beautiful, healthy, wonderful, much-loved daughter, and that’s all that matters!!!
Holy – she is getting hair! Adorable.
I love the pictures in the grass. In the 2nd one where she is staring off into the distance, she really looks like you!!
Love the videos. thanks for sharing parts of your beautiful girl’s day. She is so animated – love her little shrieks & squeals!!
Would it be too stalker’ish to request a 24 hour MadelineCam?
I’m thinking you can make a ton of money off that live feed from us moms!
@Christa from the Valencia- I left you a message on your blog site. I would love to walk with you girls, need to work things out with my kiddos….
@Cindy: Yeah! Come to Placerita with me and Christa!
All L.A. walkers: come here to discuss:
http://www.flickr.com/groups/lizlogelin5k/discuss/72157607209526253/
LOVE the sneezes…so cute.
Glad you are having better days. I check this daily and think of you and Maddie often!
Thoughts and support from the MPLS!
So glad that you got a “glimmer of hope” into the future.
The video of Madeline sneezing is adorable! She must have inherited her sneezes from Liz. In these recent photos I can see a lot more of you coming through now. What a beautiful babe!
I love the video of her sneezing, it’s freaking adorable. And I can basically see my future children doing the same thing since I am the ultimate sneezer, haha.
I bet the phone call was from a news reporter—Maybe our creep fest will be all over the local MN news on the 21st. Those sneezes were the best! I had to control myself from wanting to say “bless you”. As always Matt…thanks for sharing!
What a cute sneeze!
You got me almost in tears Matt, I can simpathize with what you say about how you and Liz did this and that, because I am doing all those things with my loving partner, and I can’t imagine going through something like this. You really amaze me. Thank you for giving us a glimpse into your life. Have you thought about writting a book? I sure would get it.
Perhaps next time someone asks if Madeline is breastfed you can say, “I keep trying, but she still seems hungry afterward.” That should shut them up. Or get you a date with protective services. Nevermind. Bad idea.
Must of gotten that post card from State Farm. Did you know that September is Life Insurance Awareness Month? It is! Your doing a great thing, even posting how important life insurance is. If we all knew when are last day was we would go out and buy the day before, but we don’t. We all need to make sure our loved ones are covered, when that time comes.
I love the video’s you posted today of Madeline(the sneezes were adorable)… not many people know about the awesomeness of Neutral Milk Hotel. The pictures of her in the grass are so cute.
Thank you Maddie for the smiles. This has been the shittiest 9/11 since the one in 2001 for me.
Your laughs and smiles made me smile, and I needed it.
Hoping I can find a kinda sorta cheap hotel in South Jersey this weekend for something I have never wanted to think about EVER. I also hope it has Internet access because I know I am going to want to break away from my family to ponder, and hell escape. (My mom will be there too, love her bunches but she is someone you need to escape from sometimes, God love my 2nd Dad)
I love those shots of Maddy with her fuzzy hair. So darling!
Both the videos made me smile. She is just the sweetest little thing. I am sorry a breast “lactivist” was condescending towards you. One must never make assumptions.
Good stuff, thanks for sharing.
oooooh, I’m getting all melty with the baby noises and little chick-a-dee hair! I mean, look at her!
((melt))
OMG, those little squeaks and sneezes are the sweetest!! She is such a doll!
My family and I will be walking on the 21st in the NYC.
When my 2 yr old is being a typical, whiny 2 yr old, all I have to do is put on a video of Maddy and he immediately stops whiny and laughs along with her… so for that, thanks.
I also have an “experiment” for you if you want to try, seeing the picture of your daughter in the grass reminded me of this. My online group of mom friends tried this and it held true for about 90% of our kids. When Maddy learns to sit on her own… sit her on the grass barelegged, if the experiment holds true for her, she will lift up her left leg (and probably cry), LOL
Hooray Neutral Milk Hotel! Hooray cute baby Madeline!
You both have come so far… I am so happy to see a happy day… You are creating memories and Madeline will cherish them always… Liz is proud… beaming with pride! You have been given a gift Matt… Thank you for sharing that gift with all of us!
Great idea for the memorial walk/run!
@Dawn in the NYC- I’d love to join you & your family on the 21st if you don’t mind having a fellow creep along for the walk. My email is meggin512(at)yahoo(dot)com
Madeline is just too darn cute. Those little glimmer of hopes make all the difference.
@Gabi – how weird that you said that, as my friend is a photographer and just took pictures of a bare-legged baby in grass, and she noted on her blog that the baby kept lifting her left leg up when she was put directly onto the grass. What’s up with that?
Madeline is such a doll. And I LOVE her voice!
I’m glad you had a good day – cleaning and all.
Take care.
I hope today was a sign of better days ahead. I’m so happy to read about your optimism. Good things are in your future Matt, I just know it!
xoxoxo
I can’t believe how much hair she is getting!! You are a pretty luck guy, I don’t know if I have ever seen a baby smile so much!!
Hey Matt~ Madeline is just a doll and such a good baby. I’m so jealous and wish that my girls were as good at sleeping as your little girl is. My youngest is 7 months old and something that we have found helpful with teething is keeping a paci in the freezer…very soothing. I read your blog everyday and you are incredibly strong and such a great dad. Liz must be so proud of you!!
yea for “a pretty good day” and a slightly cleaner house. it’s nice that you’ve been able to connect to other widows in this crazy web world and can support each other like most of us are unable to. (hoping that made sense)
madeline is getting so big. absolutely love the fuzz and babies sneezes. so so damn cute. my youngest is also teething and also loves chewing on my finger…but she already has two bottoms and i swear she knows just where to bite so that it hurts.
anyways, thursday is almost done (hope it was a good one), so here’s to a great friday.
I’ve watched the sneezing video like five times in a row. What a happy baby you have, Matt! And she’s so yummy. I would gladly munch those chubby hands anytime. Hugs to you both.
Her smiles, her voice, and of course those sneezes…brought a big smile to my face. She truly is adorable and I love the videos.
I’m sure you’ve heard it before, but thanks. Thanks for sharing her, this, with all of us. I think we all learn from each other as we go and well, it’s so brave to let us have this glimpse.
Soldier on and know that many good thoughts and prayers from SC have gone out.
Madeline
I have been faithfully reading and stopped commenting/posting quotes…I felt guilty because my life was going so well. I felt it was wrong that I should have it so good when others as yourself were suffering.
Then today I was looking at a coworker’s pictures of their motorcycle trip through Alaska and Canada. I had a feeling of deja vu looking at a photo of a gorgeous lake…with blue clear waters and jagged mountains topped with snow behind it…..
Epiphany! I logged onto your site and realized they had visited Lake Louise within days of you and your family. I felt elated and silly for recognizing it!
My coworkers ask why I read your blog when they bust me reading it. They think it must be depressing, but are forming opinions without visiting.
My husband and I discussed it later…and we don’t read it because it’s depressing or because you are suffering and it’s a train wreck we can’t turn away from.
It’s because you are writing/documenting one of the greatest love stories we have ever heard. And like most great love stories, yours also has it share of tragedy.
Madeline, Liz and yourself have touched so many lives. And will continue to do so. I will order a onesie and shirt and wear them proudly next week….
but I wish with all my heart that I could flip back the pages of the story and change the outcome. That none of us knew who you are unless we had stumbled on a happy blog about a new family or because we were researching India. Not to say that you haven’t had incredible experiences or met incredible giving people…not trying to diminish that at all.
On a selfish note…Please keep writing..I hope you have time for us when you go back to work but please get some rest as well.
Madeline looks like you when she isn’t smiling and Liz when she does.
Don’t post this if it’s too long…I tend to be verbose!
Madeline’s sneezes just joined my list of favorite things too!
felt like i had to join the squillion other people who read your blog EVERY day and leave a comment…i only discovered the life of matt, liz and madeline a couple of weeks ago and i am wholeheartedly hooked. the first time i found your blog, i read for a couple of hours and then went to bed and howled myself to sleep. i cried for you, i cried for liz, and i cried for madeline. i felt like i had just watched the most terrible movie or had the most heartbreaking dream, surely i would wake up soon and everything would be happy again…i can’t explain why it affected me so profoundly but i have caught myself thinking of you and madeline most days since then.
may you take solace in the fact that all over the world, you are in people’s thoughts and dreams – sleep well matt and madeline, mummy is always there – xx
I just found your blog from “Cheaper than Therapy” and I wanted you to know that you are an inspiration! Your Madeline is simply adorable and her sneezes are the cutest thing I have ever seen!!!! Going to bookmark you and check back often. Thanks for sharing!
This blog has finally prompted my husband to research life insurance. He has diabetes, so it takes more money and effort to find coverage.
…The moral of this story is that you never know what tomorrow will bring (good or bad).
You are SO lucky to have such a happy, smiley, baby! I had one of those. She’s 18 now and she’s still a happy, smiley person. It’s amazing how personality remains constant through life.
Loved the videos. Amazing to share in your life and what you have going on every day.
Wished I lived closer to help you organize/clean up your place. Nothing like a clean house to make you feel like you live in the Garden of Awesome : )
Hugs to you and Madeline, you are always in my prayers.
Sorta Cousin Barb
Just when I think there’s no way Madeline could be any cuter, you go and post a sneezing video!! Adorable! Here’s to a few more glimmers!! Blessings to you both~
I found you blog via Cheaper than Therapy. I really admire you. I couldn’t imagine what you are going through, but you are in my prayers.
@ Creep Becky — HIGH-LARIOUS.
It cracks me up how many of us get a thrill out of watching a baby sneeze.
The first time she says “DaDa”, about 100 hearts are going to melt all over the floor!
I commented yesterday…but I think my ‘puter went all nuts-o right as I submitted it.
Anyway, recapping what I said…
1. I am dying to rub her fuzzy little head. She looks like a little chick. In a cute way. Not in a “your child looks like poultry” way.
2. People who make ASSumptions about parents who choose to bottle feed, co-sleep, put their child in daycare, etc etc etc…well, I think my all-caps above sums that up.
3. Sounds like you’re having some good days. There IS hope for the future. I believe in that so much for you guys.
One more thing, Maddy has her momma’s and her awesome Auntie Deb’s smile in that second shot, chin too if I’m not mistaken. And I love the sneezes too, almost as good as a laugh.
Take care
Hi Matt – I found this blog and I think what you’re doing is amazing. I read the entire blog and I cried when you cried and laughed at all the moments Madeline seemed to make you heart better. I have a feeling Liz is very proud of you and watching Maddy grow up before your eyes. And Madeline is just breathtaking! I can’t wait to continue reading about your journey. Take care.
How about a blog-reader vote on what team Madeline is going to support? Yeah – she looks like a Bears fan to me…too cute NOT to be! =-)
Afternoon Matt, A few weeks ago a friend passed along your site to me as we are unfortunately in a similar ‘club’ – that of losing our inspiration, our love and at times the sunshine to our day – our wives. My wife was killed 18 months ago in a small plane crash returning from a one-day business trip. At the time my little girl had just turned 18 months and I had absolutely no idea how the hell I supposed to do it all by myself.
As you are finding out, the Lord has put others in our lives that we never knew would give so much support and love and the crazy part is all of those that you never knew that would also jump in to help. As I see you are doing, enjoy that, focus on your little girl and continue to look forward, time will again allow you to focus beyond the immediate as you once did and will help you get back into a rythem.
I can’t promise that it will all turn out beautifully as I struggle with that dream everyday like you, I can say that it contiues. Some days it’s great – others suck – really suck. But the family, the strangers (friends) help to make the great ones happen faster and more often. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Feel free to ‘stop by’ if you want, talking it through and hearing another guy’s perspective is always a good thing.
Wow – I had no idea that the gal at the day care said that! That really sucks, I’m sorry you had to deal with that bs. Looking back, I realize now that she didn’t say anything to me about bottle-feeding Joey after you made her eat a bowl of “shut-the-fuck-up!”
Keep up the good work Matt, and give Maddy tons of hugs from us!
@Jodi: Yup! She’s a Bears fan! She’s a Cubs fan too, she just can’t talk yet to say “get this Twins crap off me!”
That Madeline is just adorable! Love her videos! I sit at my computer with a gigantic smile on my face. You are doing a wonderful job with her. She sure has ALOT to say to her daddy! Wow, when that little girl starts talking, LOOK OUT!
What a doll!
“When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. ”
Khalil Gibran
Matt,
Love the t-shirts…..those of us “up north” need some sweatshirts too….before you know it we will only be wearing t-shirts under our sweatshirts/sweaters/fleece/parkas/long johns.
Amy in The Minnesota
She is beautiful!! And you should receive the “Best Dad Ever” Award!!!
i don’t know if it matters what a parent decides for their child… since we all make unique choices- we are bound to be doing things differently (a.k.a “wrong”) for someone out there.
I am in the school of thought that Madeline is not thriving *despite* the things she may be missing in life.. but rather thriving because she is blessed by bountiful love and care.
I know she holds a special place in my own heart.
Sneezy video makes me grin. Wayyy cute. Wish they’d had those little molded baby seats when my kids were tiny. Those are too neat! I check in every day and you’re doing so great, Matt.
So great.
XODeb ( Republican robot-lover )
I love the peachfuzz hair madeline is getting now. It’s too adorable.
Do you like the Bumbo? I’ve noticed it in several pictures. My 7 month old’s legs are too fat to fit in it anymore. When I picked him up to get him out and it just came with him and had to be pried off of him I figured it was time to let it go. ha.
Oh Matt, thank you for sharing the sneezes. I read every word of your blog, every post. I don’t usually comment (but I WILL be buying a Garden of Awesome t-shirt, you betcha!), but those sneezes were just too damned adorable to pass up!! My favorite video, so far. I particularly love her little high-pitched gasp right before the sneeze. I think she’s bound to have her daddy’s loud sneezes when she gets big!!
I’m going to go watch it another couple dozen times. What a doll Madeline is. So, so, so cute. I just wanna squish her.
if you like tim and eric now…. you may love this clip. if you watch it a few times in a row, it may soon become one of the funniest things you’ll ever see. sometimes i watch it when i’m having a bad day. just thought i’d share….
http://www.adultswim.com/video/?episodeID=8a25c39217ab41660117ad6d54aa0143
I’ve read your blog a lot but only commented once or twice. The videos in this post are priceless! Madeline is such a beautiful and happy little girl! I love how she quieted down in her bassinet as soon as she saw you. Obviously a lot of people tell you this, but you are doing an amazing job.
I’ve been lurking, but wanted to come out of lurkdom to tell you how precious the sneezing video is. That is one awesome kiddo you have there. You are incredible. I hope you have many more days like that.
I discovered your blog while reading Storked! about your visit to NYC. I am so sorry for your loss of such an incredible woman, and you and Madeline are in my thoughts and prayers. I feel blessed to have found your blog. You are doing such an amazing job with that beautiful little girl. Her smile definitely lights up the room! She is so adorable, and is very lucky to have such great daddy.
I also enjoyed your pictures of Banff and Lake Louise. I was up there about 10 years ago, and would love to go back. Your beautiful pics brought back lots of good memories!
Take care, and know that you are thought of often!
Um, I’m lonely. Just FYI. A “NMV” (New Madeline Video) would help cure my blues.
I’m just sayin.
hi matt. hi maddster. love the videos ~ too friggen cute. she is precious & has the prettiest.eyes.ever.
b/c THAT IS WHAT SHE SAID. hehe
matt, i’m not sure what you do ~ if you work in an office or what ~ but I know that going back to work will be good 4 u. believe me. it will be good to have deadlines & distractions & what not. I know it’s probably a scary step … to go back, to take her to daycare, etc. I remember waking up on the morning I had to go back to work after my boyfriend/soul mate committed suicide (about a wk or two later) and I was bawling. I told my mom , ‘I don’t want to go’. I can’t’. but it was amazing how every day was just a tiny bit better. watch out though. there will be things (little things) at work that will remind you of liz. I remember walking into my cube & seeing this little cheesy figurine thing from 7-11 on my computer that paul had given me. tears. phone msg that hadn’t been cleared. tears. BUT, time is a healer. I know that sounds cliche & cheesy, but so true. And you’re doing all the right things ~ esp embracing your grief & talking about it. that truly, truly helps.
anyhoo. I’m sorry for my rambles. I just wanted to post on this quiet sunday morning for some reason. I hope you read it & I hope you catch a little glimmer of hope from each person that leaves you a lil’ note of encouragement/advice/well-wishes.
You are a fantastic writer & such an amazing guy!! thank u for sharing your life & your beautiful daughter with us. xoxoxoxoxoxo from the dallas (where we are being pounded by rains from hurricane ike) haha. i said pounded.
This is off-topic, but I want to remind everyone who is interested in coordinating a LizWalk in their area that they can go here to discuss:
http://www.flickr.com/groups/lizlogelin5k/
And big *kudos* to you western Canadians who made a facebook group to plan your walk! I think y’all will have the biggest group outside the MN! (That’s right, I’m so creepy, I. SEE. EVERYTHING.)
The peachfuzz, the sneeze video, the bumbo chair. Just awesome. My girls are 27 and 25, I miss all those things, well we didn’t have those chairs, but I know they would have loved them. Madeline is the cutest, I look forward to new pics/videos. Matt, you’re doing so well, I know there will be times in the future where there will be hard times, but I truly believe Liz will help you through each and every one of them and you will be that much stronger. Thank you for sharing your daughter, your wife, your good times, your rough times, your happiness and your grief with us. You have touched so many lives, and it looks like alot of people have been able to touch yours, even in the smallest way.
go pack, go.
Also off topic! Bacon flavored VODKA!!
http://news.bostonherald.com/entertainment/food_dining/food/view.bg?articleid=1116542
Makes me in the mood for a Bloody Mary! A tasty one at that.
Happy 25/52, Madeline!
Happy 25/52! A week away from being halfway to 52!!! YEAHHHH!!!!
Madeline is beautiful, she is growing and looks like Mom more each day. She is already very curious and has the happiest Smile. Cute Cute Cute! Thanks for sharing her.
my mom just sent me a link to your blog, so i’m catching up on the lives of you and your very beautiful daughter.
madeline looks much too smart to become a packers fan. with her dislike of losing, the cubs should be out, too. thank God.