***thursday***
i woke up before my
baby and tried to
get a few things
done around the house.
ten minutes later
i heard madeline moving
around in her bassinet, so
i walked into the
living room, and said “hi!”
i startled her…she looked
like a kid caught
stealing money from
her dad’s wallet.
i checked my wallet
and the money was
still there, so
what could she
possibly be guilty of doing?
i don’t know, but
i assured her that
i would get to the
bottom of this.
we hung out on
the couch and
she sneezed on me.
twice.
i gave her a bottle
then we headed
to the montrose
for lunch with
stranger friend erin w.
had a nice long
conversation over a really
unhealthy lunch.
as lunch ended, she
handed me two bags…
one with some clothes
for madeline and one
with a little gift for me.
so awesome.
after lunch we
went to the bank to
take care of some business.
two of my favorite
employees stopped to visit
us in line and
to check on madeline’s growth.
the mail man interrupted
our conversation…told
them i’d catch up with
them later.
as i filled out my deposit
slip, one of the ladies
came back to my
spot in line and said,
“this just came for you”
as she handed
me an envelope.
the people around me
stared at me,
seemingly in disbelief
that i was getting my
mail delivered
to the bank.
i just smiled.
on the way out the
ladies handed me a
few more packages
that arrived sometime
since my last visit.
headed home and spent
the evening singing made-up
songs to madeline
as she stared at me.
(no, there’s no video of that)
took a few photos
as she chewed on
her pacifier.
then i worked on
hypnotizing madeline to sleep
it actually started to work
and she fell asleep
around 8:00pm.
i spent my evening
catching up on things.
went to bed early,
anticipating a very busy weekend.
***friday***
woke up and devoted
the morning to
tummy time
until madeline became indifferent.
then it was time to
head to the atwater
village to meet
stranger friend sara m. and her son
for a visit
to a gallery
.
got madeline into
her stroller and
rolled into the gallery.
i greeted a woman
holding a baby,
assuming it was the woman
and the baby
we were coming to meet.
luckily i was right.
the woman working in
the gallery asked
if we knew one another.
uh…i don’t think either
one of us really knew
how to answer that
question, so we both
said “yes” at the exact
same time.
enjoyed some art and
then made our way
down the street
past some store fronts
to the cuban
restaurant for lunch.
we talked a lot
about music and other things.
after lunch we continued
down the street,
stopping to do a some
shopping for our little ones.
stopped in another gallery
to get our babies
a little more culture
then we
said goodbye,
promising to catch
up again soon.
i headed home with
madeline and we spent the
afternoon napping.
auntie anya called,
asking if we wanted to
have an early dinner.
yes indeed.
she arrived around 4:00
and played with madeline
until it was time to
take off for dinner.
we headed back to
the atwater village
for dinner at a french restaurant.
ordered an appetizer
that would have been
unhealthy except for the
fact that the unhealthy
part wasn’t available.
enjoyed the hell
out of it anyway.
thought about how strange
it was that i was
sitting here
with one of
liz’s
friends,
without
liz.
it’s these moments
that things don’t
seem real,
like she had to work
late or something
and she’ll be here
any minute,
apologizing for making us wait.
this really fucking sucks.
i know the reality
and i’m
gonna try to forget
about it for now.
it helps to have
a beautiful baby who’s
constantly looking at things
with a sense
of wonder.
what a great distraction
from the things that
i can’t seem to
get out of my head.
we all enjoyed our dinners
then headed home.
said goodbye to anya
and put madeline in
her bassinet for the night.
i spent the evening
hanging photographs
around my house.
i’ve always been a little
afraid to pound
holes into walls
that are over 80 years
old, but i know that
liz
wanted this place
decorated so i did
it for her.
listened to a whole bunch
of albums by one of my
favorite bands.
somehow madeline
slept through all the noise.
finally went to bed
around 4:00am,
satisfied that
i’m heading in the
right direction.
***saturday***
woke up to our
housekeeper knocking on
our door.
shit.
what time was it?
9:15?
how did we sleep so long?
we both must
have been exhausted.
i gave madeline
a bottle and she promptly
went back to sleep.
i continued working
on my photo-hanging
project while
trying to stay out
of the housekeeper’s way.
eventually i napped
on the couch, sleeping
until the mid afternoon
(i think i’m still trying to catch up after that trip to the las vegas).
late afternoon, i packed madeline
up and headed to
the west side.
dropped madeline off
at cara’s place
so i could attend an
art opening in
the beverly hills.
met up with laura
who got photographed
by some photographer
for a woman’s magazine
(he said something to her about being trendsetter or something).
i went to get a
glass of water and
nearly crashed headlong
into salman rushdie.
holy crap!
salman rushdie!
i was sort of star-struck.
then we saw jason schwartzman
and couldn’t believe
how short he was.
what am i doing
here with all these
fancy people?
i met and talked to
some famous sculptor
who stared me down like
he wanted to fight me.
i laughed at the
absurdity of it all.
it’s 8:30 and the fancy
people are heading to
some fancy bar in
hollywood and i’m going
to do something
way better…
pick up my baby.
got to cara’s and decided
we should have
some dinner before
madeline and i drive home.
enjoyed a whole bunch
of pizza and conversation
then it was time to go.
drove home, madeline
sleeping the entire way.
got back to our
dark, empty house and
put madeline in her bassinet.
i watched the
episode of the soup
that was waiting for
me on my dvr
and thought about my wife.
***sunday***
woke up and watched
a little football
(the vikes weren’t on tv here in the so. cal, so we watched the raiders)
then madeline did
a little photo shoot
with madeline in her chair.
then she played
with some toys
and found a way
to get it in her mouth.
at noon we took off
for the west side
to meet up with laura
so we could head to
the los angeles bbq festival.
made it to the santa monica
rather quickly
and let our noses
direct us to the place
we were supposed to be.
got in and surveyed
the available food,
opting to avoid all of the
southern california bbq
restaurants and focus our
attention on the out-of-towners.
someone once said,
nothing attracts a crowd like a crowd,
so we got in the
longest line, hoping that
it equaled the best food.
we waited in line
for 15 minutes
then laura had the brilliant
idea to send one of
us to get some
food from one of the
shorter lines and bring it
back to the long line.
i volunteered.
laura covered madeline
in sunscreen as they waited.
i found a shorter line
and brought some food back
to laura.
we continued
our wait.
30 minutes later we
were joined by laura’s
friend maria.
another 20 minutes in line
and we were hungry again,
so laura and maria went
to get some more food
while madeline and
i held our place
in line.
somehow she managed
to sleep through the
terrible cover band
(they made me want to tear my ears off).
once again joined by the ladies,
we ate some more food.
then madeline got hungry.
i got out of line,
found a spot under
some umbrellas
and mixed her
a bottle.
she finished up
just as the ladies
plus maria’s friend, hamid
showed up with our food.
the sun came out and
madeline didn’t want
to sleep.
i put her sunglasses on
and she became the
center of attention.
people stopped and took
photos, marveling at
how adorable she is.
indeed.
we finished up our food
at the same time
the next band
started playing.
a hair-metal cover band.
they played some
g n’r and madeline instantly
started crying.
time to go.
we packed everything up
and tried to calm
madeline down.
she loves to be in the
front pack,
so laura put it on,
i dropped madeline
into it
and the tears
stopped immediately.
crying fit over, we decided
to take a little stroll
along the beach.
madeline turned every head
that passed by.
despite the attention,
she passed out.
on the walk back to
the car some dude said,
“you’ve got the coolest baby in la!”
i laughed ’cause i
know i do.
made it back to
the car, madeline still
passed out.
took her out
of the pack and
got her strapped
in her car seat.
she started a screaming
fit that lasted until we
were able to
drive more than
30 mph.
dropped laura off
at her place and
made our way home.
with madeline asleep
once again, i was left alone
with some music
and my thoughts.
thought,
bbq and a day at the beach?
liz
would have loved today.
if only…
got home and took
a 15 minute
nap on the couch
while madeline slept in
her bassinet.
woke up right before anya
arrived to watch madeline.
bill t. invited me
to check out a show
his band was playing
at spaceland.
bob stopped by
and we went to
the show together.
arrived to find a few
familiar faces in the place.
we enjoyed the rock show and
before i knew it,
it was over.
stuck around long
enough to talk the familiar
faces and bill then
drove home
to my baby.
apparently she slept
the whole time i
was away.
thanked auntie anya
for being awesome
then wrote until
i fell asleep
at my desk.
(working a cool new project…details soon).
this was one of best
4-day periods i’ve
had in a really long time.
that’s two great weekends
in a row.
but really, who’s counting?
Really enjoyed reading about your weekend! You need more sleep mister! Madeline = cutest baby eva!
Sounds like an awesome weekend, hope it starts a new trends for you! I don’t think you have the coolest baby in L.A. Maddie certainly has to be the coolest baby in the entire universe.
So bummed we didn’t end up going to the BBQ Fest. Sunday was going to be our day to go too… Oh well. Glad you had fun!
Cheers
Awesome to hear it’s was a good weekend! Could it be possible that Madeline just keeps getting cuter and cuter!?!?
Awesome pics of maddie, she is adorable.
Those sneezes just made my day
Quite possibly the cutest thing I have ever seen!
Good to hear you guys enjoyed your weekend. How cool to know you were shoulder to shoulder with such ARTISTS!!
“TWO great weekends in a row”…I bet you didn’t think it was possible. I’m thrilled to hear that it is…I think this weekend is gonna be great as well.
Long time reader first time commenter here….
Just wanted to say I’m so happy you are having longer streaks of happy days. That’s so great and with little miss madeline getting more and more personality each day I believe they will only be getting more entertaining.
All of a sudden, she is looking SO much bigger!!!
Those glasses are so awesome, Madeline is by far the coolest baby in LA (sorry other LA babies).
Hooray for beautiful Madeline and great weekends!
So glad you are having a few good days in a row. Madeline is so adorable. Beautiful, beautiful baby.
Madeline is just adorable, loving the fuzzy hair, and those lashes!!
Glad you had such a great weekend! Here’s to many many more!
I love you guys I really do , and I don’t know what kind of bassinet you have but since she is sitting up in that boppy , I think you need to get Madeline into a crib, I would hate for her to fall , if I am wrong and misunderstand the bassinet thing , disregard this comment , but at over 4 months she should be ina crib for safety reasons. To me a bassinet is the small oval bed with about a foot high side on a stand of some kind, normally used by newborns , say up to 3 months max.
Chris
She is just so dang cute!!
So happy for the two good weekends.
Madeline is really getting her personality. In one of the seat photos, she looks so much like liz; another beautiful girl for Matt.
@Chris
it’s a pretty big bassinet that’s part of a playpen.
madeline may be able to sit in that bumbo chair, but she’s not yet able to sit up on her own.
she’s definitely fine for now.
m.
My baby is totally jealous of your baby’s rockin’ shades. I am going to have to investigate all the cool shade options for babies.
Love the new photos..glad to hear you had a good weekend.
Did Madeline have a growth spurt or something she is getting so big so quick!
Look at that hair, and those smiles and rosy cheeks! Cute as ever!
I never, ever get tired of pictures of her, especially with the “too cool for school” shades on. Honestly, how do you stand it? If I had to look at that bundle of joy all day, I’d get NOTHING else done.
Is she eating cereal yet? (It’s been almost 18 years since my baby was a baby, I forget at what age they start doing all the different things)
Just wait til she’s mobile, pal. Your days of doing anything but watching her every move are closing in fast!!!!
more happy days than sad, but never forgetting what really is going on is good i think? and she is the cutest baby ever!
I am still laughing that you went and got food TWICE while waiting in line for food!
So nice to read about your happy times.
I always read all the comments and love getting to know the creeps through their words, you have so many wonderful, funny and caring creeps here!
Although I do get pissed off when people get all judgemental under the pretence of being concerned. I love how you comment in such a sensible manner and don’t get mad.
I get mad enough for 3 people!
You are doing a great job and while you may put it down to the love and support you have, I can tell you have a natural instinct and a amazing calmness with Madeline.
Keep on Keeping on
Man, Madeline is so GORGEOUS!!! and it’s nice to hear you laugh. Happy Monday! xo!
Screw going back to work. This is LA, baby! Get your kid an agent and let the Baby Elvis glasses do their thing. (I kid, I kid.)
It’s been such a pleasure - and a privilege - to watch Maddy grow and change on a (near) daily basis. You can tell she’s drinking the world in and trying to figure it all out; good thing you’re there to ensure that her senses are stimulated with good art, music and food.
Yay for four good days in a row, and an extra yay because you made it another four days without breaking her in two. (Again, I kid.)
Hugs to you and the wonderous blonde one.
Thanks for sharing such great pics of your sweets! If it’s even possible she gets cuter and cuter in each post. She’s a great kid!
She’s growing so fast and yes she is the cutest and coolest baby EVER! Adorable.
Glad to hear you’ve had a good few days… more to come. Promise.
I love reading your blog and I just want to kiss Maddy she is so fricken adorable. Since my brother doesn’t have kids, she is definately the coolest baby in LA.
I don’t comment often, but I read every word and think about you guys all the time! Especially every time I hear this song. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YlEsRtKR-mk
Which is funny because I’m fairly certain -judging by the music you post- that country music isn’t your thing… I love it though (I KNOW! … and get this.. I’m a Republican too!) Wait.. there’s more… I LIKE ROBOTS! Am I blowing your mind or what!?!
Seriously though, thanks for the update… when you go a couple days we all start to worry! (Well, I do anyway.) Can’t wait to see what your newest project is!
Hugs from IL!
HOLA MATT
Happy b-week 25/52 to Princess M!
You deserve thousands/millions GREAT days/weekends/months/years!
Nice to know that you had enjoyed the weekend and you had also time for your own!
Maddy is one of the most BEAUTIFUL baby I’ve ever seen!
Besos y abrazos
Sol
HI Matt,
Love Maddy in her sunglasses. Sounds like you been having some good days. Here’s hoping that with Maddy and her personality you will have happier days to come! Keep doing what you’re doing! Take care!
Asalamalaykom,
Are you deliberately trying to start a new holy war in this comment section? SALMAN-FREAKIN’-RUSHDIE?! Man! Just when the pork referrences have come to an end! Now, if it had been Salman Rushdie AT the BBQ festival that really would be too much. This…I can just let slide and walk quietly away from the computer…
WAIT! I had a thought that was worth something (at least to someone somewhere):
The best songs in the world are those you are making up for Miss Madeline. They are the realization of months of healing, as you can’t create while you are breaking down. Probably they’ll never get recorded. But there’s something mythic about creating songs which are so special that no one else hears them except your one special person.
Somehow, I come back to thinking about the last anniversary that you can’t remember. It wasn’t recorded either. It was so special that you couldn’t capture it and weren’t suppose to, like the butterfly whose wings are too delicate to grab. Just let it fly away with the songs for a beautiful baby.
Madeline is gorgeous! It’s so neat to watch her grow up and become more active these days - the fun is just beginning! Glad you had a good weekend.
That is seriously one gorgeous baby!
Really glad that you had a good weekend! (Those ribs looked really good.)
Long time lurker, but the first time commenting.
I’ve enjoyed reading your blog and watching beautiful daughter grow. My 6 year old daughter loves checking out all the pictures of her.
I hope the Raider game was better than the Vikes. It was a good game til the 2nd half.
sounds like one fabulous weekend indeed.
madeline looks awesome in those sunglasses, i’m surprised she never took them off. probably because she realized how cool she looked.
and the bbq fest?!!? how do i miss these things in la. i swear i am always out of the loop.
Matt - I’ve been following your blog for a long time now and have never commented, but wanted to say how wonderful it is to see you enjoying yourself. You are doing such a tremendous job with your baby girl, she is gorgeous and your love for her is abundantly clear!
madeline is tied as ‘the most BEAUTIFUL baby in the UNIVERSE’ (with my daughter of course!) - seriously tho - she is so so beautiful.
and oooh those smiles in the bumbo! talk about liz sized smiles. you are so so so blessed. miss madeline is the blessing of all blessings…
so…was that long line food good?!? i sure hope so! i am amazed that madeline doesn’t take off those rad shades! my daughter needs some lessons. she doesn’t even keep them on long enough for a picture!
i think about you guys often, and my heart still really breaks for you, but there is such beauty in this horrible tragedy - the amazing, passionate love you have for madeline, and the immense joy, laughter and smiles she brings to you.
yet, it still freakin sucks… ugh. you are still very much in my prayers!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MADELINE!!!!!!
give that girl some love from us!
She is so so so beautiful. You already know that. But every time I look at photos of her I see she looks like she’s growing, and she’s just so damn cute!!! Lovin’ that Minnesota onesie!
She looks just like Liz in the second bumbo pic!! Beautiful!! SO happy to hear you are having good weekends. I check the blog daily, sometimes twice, hoping each time to hear things are getting easier for you. Regardless, you are so consistently awesome with Madeline. A natural. LOVE the videos by the way. My girls are 9 and 6 and I miss those laughs and baby squeaks!!
your weekend sounds fun..I Love the pic of madeline just under the yellow flowers…and the sunglasses? awesome! but seriously, try to get more sleep, will you?
i’ve been following your blog/story for quite some time. i have been moved so many times at your expressions of emotions that i can only imagine are much more raw than you actually let on. i solo parent as well- though not under the same circumstances. the challeneges are incredible, but the rewards are too. your daughter is adorable and you are a wonderful father. i hope you repeat that to yourself on a continous loop even when it feels like the pain will never go away.
Maddy is such a cherub. Those pictures of her in her bumbo with that fuzzy little head and rosy cheeks are so cute. I’m hoping to get to meet her at the 5k next week!
I hope those were baby backs!!
I’m soooooo very happy for you. Two great weekends in a row. Madeline is looking more adorable and getting so big! I’m *loving* that fuzzy head…..
I am so glad things are getting just a BIT easier!
@Yosra - Love ya man, and I will make an effort to get to a petting zoo to put some lipstick on a pig soon in your honor (that was a joke for those that dont know what jokes are). And I do appreciate your branch and accept it and offer it back. BUT, pork will probably always be a joke here now lol.
Maddy and Daddy are absolutely my fave part of the day with each new entry. I wish I could walk! I am going on a steroid round and my doctors (yes, more than one) told me though I will feel like I can do anything, that doing ANYTHING is out of the question right now. So I am still hoping for the pic in the traction bed for the flickr page!
Beauty Maddy, you make my heart warm!
PS - I totally want a video of you singing to Maddy!
I love your posts! Maddy always puts a smile on my face.
I just wanted to share a little tidbit about sleeping babies.( I’ve had three)
In order to keep them sleeping in the morning while others were stirring,I use, and still use air purifiers in there bedrooms.They make a nice white noise sound and keep there rooms fresh.
I just thought I would pass that on.
Keep up the good work daddy.
Wow! You can actually see Madeline’s hair in these photos. She’s getting to be so big!! What a cutie!
By the way, I got my t-shirts today. I can’t wait to show off my flower in the garden of awesome!!
Dear Matt,
I have a gazillion dollars I want to donate for the LGLM5K but I don’t see the paypal account up yet! I was going to spend all my money in Vegas but I decided to save some for you and Madeline. I’ve tried harassing Creep Becky about it but she said something about being blog-challenged and that you would be posting the link. Please take my money!
Love, Michael Phelps
(PS - I’m funny, right?)
I can’t believe there was a BBQ fest and I didn’t know about it! Fucking pisses me off!!!
Here’s the deal, Matthew: if you film yourself singing to Maddy, I’ll film MYSELF singing. To whom, I dunno. I’m just throwin’ it out there cuz I wanna hear you sing. Preferably some Styx. I’m just sayin’.
Also while I have everyone’s attention (Hello?! Anyone?!) I would like to point out that Christa and I are the only confirmed walkers for this Sunday morning at 9 at Placerita Cyn. Sooooo… If you want to help make us L.A. people look somewhat less spazzy, please join us! And yes, we realize the time we’ve chosen is somewhat “off”. Suck it up.
p.s. Salman Rushdie was in town filming Bill Maher, methinks. And for the BBQ Fest.
@Michael Phelps: LOL! You sucked on SNL, Dude!
loved the sneezing video. Madeline is a doll baby
I also really enjoyed the picture you took of her in her new shades. Awesome.
That Madeline is just unbelievably beautiful… that’s all… oh, and I agree … I just spent 2 months in LA and I didn’t see any babies half as cute as yours!!!!!
Glad you had a good weekend. Madeline is so adorable!
I’ve never been to LA but I’d bet a few bucks she’s the cutest around. I love those glassees- so stinkin’ cute!
As an Eastern NC girl born and bred, I know my BBQ. And I love it. I would’ve been right there with you eating while waiting in line to eat more! Hysterical.
It’s great to hear about your good times. You can tell by Madeline’s face that most of her times with you are good times. You’re doing great.
Since we know about the kind of year that you have had, I can imagine that keeping track of the great days can be important. You are headed in the right direction . . . Hoping the next four days are even better!
Coolest baby evah - indeed!
Also, I agree with Yosra about documenting the made up songs. I adore my dad’s made up song “O Applesauce, O Applesauce.” He put everything on cassette tape for me to hear (milestones, baby sounds, bdays, etc), and it is really special for me to have those now. I can only imagine what it will be like for Maddy to go back and see all the adventures she has been on, and how many thousands of stranger/friends you both have behind you. So glad you had a great, long weekend!
I am SO thankful that you are able to realize through your heartache just how lucky you are to have such a happy and healthy baby-she is adorable!
Madeline really does get more beautiful every time you take photos of her if that’s possible. We have the same rattle and it goes by the nickname of the “DNA rattle.” Would love to know where to get the cute MN onesie!
@ Kate in the Northridge
I suspect Matt will never post video of him singing b/c his made up songs sound a bit too much like Purple rain and Step by Step (NKOTB).
p.s. I just saw Phelps on Utube…not good
Dear Matt,
Thanks for getting that link up there! Now I can focus on spending my money on important things like you and Madeline. Of course, I’ll have to save a little for therapy since Kate in the Northridge crushed my spirit with her above comments. And here I thought we were kindred spirits, what with her robot groping and my waitress groping…
Love, Michael Phelps
omg, madeline looks just like her beautiful mommy in those bumbo chair pics! she has her eyes and her smile! soooooo cute! she’s gotten so big! love the MN onesie too…
Fucking hilarious! Love, love you Michael Phelps!
Today one of my kids at school said to one of his teachers (keep in mind that he is 4 years old)… “You’re like Michaels Phelps. You swim real fast.” What?!?! …kids… Anyway, Matt, I’m with Yosra, the songs you sing just for Madeline are the best songs ever! Even if they are to the tune of a New kids song. Ask my two-year old about his potty song to the tune “twinkle, twinkle little star”. Yeah… it’s awesome! Glad things don’t suck too bad right now!
*hugs*