(still a week behind).
happy 26/52 week birthday
to my favorite daughter.
woke up early,
said goodbye to
the grandparents
and left for the airport.
hard to leave after
another great visit,
but it’s time to get home.
the trip through
the airport went smoothly.
ran into a college classmate
while we waited
for our flight to depart.
she told me how sorry
she was
to hear about
liz.
i thanked her,
as i do whenever
i hear that sentiment,
but thanking someone for
having those feelings
seems a little strange,
but i don’t know what else
to say in
such situations.
talked to a woman
about how hard it
was for her to leave her
child for a 2-day business trip.
got on the flight
and found that that
same woman
was sitting in the row
ahead of us.
we talked for a bit
and i could tell she
was curious about
my situation.
she asked the question
and i had her in
tears before i finished
my sentence.
throughout the flight this
woman looked back, checking
on us, asking if she
could help me in
any way.
i finally took her up
on her offer when
madeline woke up crying.
i handed her to
the woman and went to
the bathroom
to mix her a bottle.
when i came back, the
woman offered to
feed her.
once again, i took
her up on the offer, ’cause
my arms were tired.
the bottle was
just what maddy needed,
and the break was just
what i needed.
i took possession
of my baby right before
the flight landed.
i thanked the woman
as we departed the flight.
some people are so nice.
our ride was
waiting for us
at the baggage claim,
once again we had help
with our luggage.
made it home
with a quickness,
changed madeline’s
outfit then headed
to lunch with stranger friend
kate c. in town
on business from the nyc.
we arrived a little
early so i stopped
into one of my
favorite shops.
the hipster with
the british accent
working behind
the counter said,
“those simenon books are pretty dark.”
i looked at him
and said,
“i’m in a pretty dark place.”
he looked up,
looking me in the eyes
with a look
of disbelief.
with a smile i said,
“i’m just kidding.”
but i wasn’t.
i just didn’t
want to have to
explain things to him.
paid for, and grabbed
my new books,
and walked across fairfax
to the deli i used
to go to with
liz.
got inside and found
kate c.
we had a nice
long lunch,
both us ordering
liz’s
favorite meal while
talking about her
life as a married mother
of twins and my life
as a widowed father of one.
had some laughs
about her reason
for being in the los angeles
as we walked up the
street, enjoying the
beautiful weather.
i dropped her off for her
next meeting and madeline
and i drove home.
she was asleep
when we reached our
spot in front of
the house.
i carried her inside,
left her in
her car seat
and took a much-needed
nap on the couch.
woke up a few hours
later and found
madeline smiling at something.
i gave her a bottle
as we watched
some football.
after the bottle we
read one of her
favorite books,
which put her
back to sleep.
i placed her in
her bassinet
and saw one of
those wonderful
sleepy smiles
come across her face.
that’s exactly
what i needed to
help me sleep tonight.
60 Comments
I am so glad that woman helped you. sometimes your path crosses the right person at the right time.
awwww.Glad yall had such a nice trip home.
Love the posts & happy bday Maddie!
Sounds like you’ve had a nice time, and some people ARE really nice.
I appreciate it is difficult when people offer their sorrow, or apologies. Why are they sorry? Easier to just say thanks, than offer just silence or questioning motive.
It’s amazing how many strangers just open their arms to you two. Truly, it’s been eye opening to me and really has changed my often cynical view of life. It’s easy to build up a wall and think that no one will offer to help a total stranger because it’s “inconvenient” or whatever. Not so.
Have a good day.
Happy 27/52 today, Madeline.
lovely entry…i love the sleeping smiles! happy birthday to your beautiful [favorite] daughter!
Matt,
Glad you got home safely.
You are so lucky that Maddy wakes up with a smile on her face! What a great way to start the day.
And to then end the day with that smile too? Wonderful!
Maddy smiles are definite bliss.
I swear you should just start handing out a card with your blog address…it would save you the awkward heartache and hike up traffic to your site.
See that!?! See how I’m always thinkin!?!
And I bet that lady on the airplane was THRILLED to help!! I’m glad you’re not too proud to let people give you a hand once in awhile…some people have a hard time accepting help.
Myself being one of them.
Glad to hear you had a good flight back. Some people can be so nice yet so shitty other times (i encountered a few). Its good that you found one of the few nice people on your flight home.
Hope you and Madeline are having a good day.
I love sleepy smiles, she must have been dreaming about something special!
She is just so sweet and so good!!! I am so happy you had a nice flight home. That’s how it is supposed to be.
I’ve been wearing my LGLM5K shirt this past week. I’ve received some nice comments on it…”nice robot”. Fun to have something so unique and meaningful to show off. My daughter’s onesie just arrived….were they on back order? Wow! I can’t wait to put her in it and show it off.
Asalamalaykom,
I know about feeling dark. We do need the dark in order to feel the light. Perhaps, if Your Liz were with you, you’d never see all this light-filled kindness AND accept it from stranger/friends, like the mom on the plane.
As for dark reading materials, I can’t stomach them. I can’t read or watch anything disturbing any more and haven’t been able to since my world split apart in 2005. Things are so fine right now, alhumdulillah (Ramadan has been good for me), BUT I still feel too shaky about reality shifting suddenly to read about other people experiencing discord and disaster and dysfunction.
“Fix your thoughts on what is true and good and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely and dwell on the fine, good things in others.” ~Phillipians 4 (That’s Biblical, y’all!)
That list is pretty much the ingredient list on Miss Madeline. Keep using her daily as needed. She truly is like medicine! I bet she really does create a chemical reaction in your brain. Protect your thoughts as much as you do your health. You are much healthier physcially, alhumdulillah. Just keep your mind at peace, as well. Asalamalaykom and Eid Mubarak.
Happy Birthday Maddy! So nice to hear about the nice people you’ve encountered. No pics included in this post?!
Have a good week!
My mom uses to say that whenever babies smile while sleeping they’re being visited by angels. I don’t know if I believe it, but let’s say that if angels do exist, I bet Maddy has a very special one.
Hey Matt, good to know you two made it home safe & sound. Also good to know that a lucky (and very sweet) lady got a chance to snuggle your sweetie while you got a break. You do need to allow yourself that ( I don’t know about you personally, but I was, and still am a little greedy when it comes to the snuggles from my girls!!).
You got out of town just in time– it’s been chilly out there!
Can I just say that I am so jealous of the amount your daughter sleeps, it’s incredible! If she could get on the phone and have a word with my 14 month old about the importance of sleep I would be thrilled.
Glad you had a great trip
Viviana – I LOVE that thought.
For months now, I’ve been able to maintain my composure while reading your blog – even as my heart has been breaking for you and sweet Madeline. Until today. Viviana’s comment: “My mom uses to say that whenever babies smile while sleeping they’re being visited by angels. I don’t know if I believe it, but let’s say that if angels do exist, I bet Maddy has a very special one.” LOST IT. How wonderful would that be?
Happy 27/52 Maddy! Glad you are back home and had a nice trip.
Matt
This is the first time I’m posting. I just spent the last week catching up on your story.
Firstly I am so sorry about Liz. The love you shared is so very obvious.
Secondly, Congrats on your BEAUTIFUL baby girl. You are doing such a wonderful job!
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Em
Australia
I have been a Kate my whole life, and in my life I have encountered only ONE other Kate. But here in your realm, I encounter MANY Kates! Including one super-awesome doppelganger one in the TX! WTF is the deal?!
Love you, love the baby.
xoox
k in the n
a few kates might be strange*, but a third em? or is it four now? now that’s craaazy! (welcome aussie em)
happy 26/52 to blog madeline, and happy 27/52 to real-time madeline! (this parallel universe is making me dizzy…)
*well, we know at least one of them is!
When my Chime was small(er).. there was a spot on our bedroom ceiling she loved.. she would s tare for much longer than a babies attention should be held. and every time- a huge smile graced her face.. often bursting out in delightful baby laughter.
Whatever was there- adorning her presence in the same *exact* spot on our ceiling. neither I or my partner ever did see it.
I am glad whatever visited our girl made her happy..
I wonder sometimes what babies dream about.
colors shapes and sounds..
those they love- their faces smiling brightly at them
I suppose Madeline has no real idea her world was altered- being surrounded by love and so many caring people.
welcome home (last week)..
Nice to know there are still nice people out there.
We all need reminding of that now and again.
Hey Matt
Ive been reading your blog since pretty much the day all of *this* happened. I dont want to be one of those ones to just say Im sorry, but there doesnt seem to be much else to say, except for that you and Madeline are always in my prayers. Just wanted you to know that it is amazing how much Madeline sleeps!
she always seems to be such a happy, good sleeper. I have a 9 month old, and he is a good night and nap sleeper, but really, your girl can SLEEP! I love it. And I love checking up on you both. You have such a wonderfully unique outlook on, well, almost everything and it is REFRESHING! take care and keep doing what you do. And know there are so many people inspired and changed by your stregth and rawness(yeah is that a word?).
And I always love reading about others who share or have shared in great love. Love is life!
Natalie
Thank you, Fellow Kate! Your awesomeness knows no bounds!
I love those sleepy baby smiles.
Viviana – that quote made my night. I believe you are correct about a special angel visiting a sleepy Maddy.
Happy 27/52 Birthday Maddy!
Glad to hear you made it home safely and kindly. Sorry I missed the run! I thought of you guys this weekend while I was in the Fargo visiting another faithful blog reader!
Em
Hello friends!
We miss you.
XO
Chrissy + JD
I too am jealous of Maddy’s sleeping abilities – could you send some of that to Chicago?!?
Nice people rock, and make life…well…so much nicer!!
So hard to believe she’s six months old already. Have those teeth popped in yet or are they still giving her misery?
I’ve been a KATE my whole life…working with people to say kaTe not Kay or Katie…but Kate. And it is a nickname NOT for Katherine, but Kathleen. I was the only Kate ever (like a Cher or Madonna growing up)…until I read this blog – Kates are just good people.
I’ve been wanting to comment for some time, just never knew when to jump into the creepy stranger beautiful friends especially those named kaTe to say “matt, may you continue to be granted the many smiles from Madeline, the kindess from strangers, and the strength to find peace in life.”
Matt, my Dad went to heaven when I was 17 – I can promise you he is sharing a beer with Liz (listening to music) and waiting for all of us to get there in His time. And yes parents visit their children all the time – I have wonderful Dad-Angel stories.
After Tim Russert died a story of his was shared that has really stuck with me. Tim was talking to a friend who had just lost a 17 year old son. Tim said to the broken hearted father, “if you had to make a choice to never know your son or know him for 17 years – you’d take the 17 years everytime.” Matt, I think about you and Liz this way…you are the man you are, the father you are, and the human you are because of the love you gave, you shared and now you live. Madeline has life because of Liz…and we all live our life differently because of your writings.
I pray for that kind of love in my life. As Shelby says in Steel Magnolias “I’d rather have 30 minutes of something wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special.” I’m so happy you had a lifetime of 12 years and 59 days. If you are ever in Oklahoma – I’ll throw you a great party!
Hugs! Kate in Norman, Oklahoma
As nice as that woman was for offering to help it was very kind of you to take her up on it. I know as I would have been that woman, itching to help in any way I could. You probably made her year..
happy half a year to mads.
Hoping that your little adventure today helps ease that it’s a “Fuck Tuesday”
Smile big my dear.
Cheers
I am so glad you had some help on your flight!
There truly are good, kind people in this world. Thank you for reminding us all to be those people.
the lady from the plane will probably never forget you or madeline. to make that kind of impression on people lives is amazing.
@ all the kates: i’m always the only aimee and i noticed another aimee on here. i get super excited when i “meet” another aimee because it’s so rare!!
Matt and Madeline – So nice you had a good trip back. I too love sleepy baby smiles. Sending you good thought and prayers on (hopefully) this Tuesday of non suckiness.
@ Kate from the OK…..well put my creepy stranger beautiful friend, well put.
Thinking of you today.
Flying with tiny children is hard.
Those smiles make it worth it, though – over time you’ll realise this connection you have is something which few fathers experience.
One small diamond maybe, but one to shine right through your life.
Oh, also, Happy Birthday to two Creepy Kates today! Thanks for keeping us all laughing, ladies.
Happy birthday Madeline
I can’t imagine hearing you tell what happened to you in person and not wanting to help you somehow. Jeez, I want to help you and I don’t even know you! If you’re ever in NJ…
@kate stanton – beautifully said. so true.
@matt – madeline is a composite of the love you and liz shared. it’s no wonder she is so full of light and laughter.
Glad you made it home safe and with caring people showing up along the way. How very sweet of you to let the business traveling mom get some baby-time in, it is very hard to be away. Interesting choice of books, I have never heard of them but can understand somewhat. I hope you have a better Tues and wishing Madeline could bring her good luck to the Twins tonight. Here’s to a smiling nights sleep for her!
(Give them the Zoolander!)
it’s so great when you run into KIND strangers
I love your stories about the kind strangers you run into on a near daily basis. Gives me hope for this crazy world.
And I too, can’t believe how many Em’s pop up on this blog!
I LOVE that you celebrate week birthdays! We celebrate kilograms around here and had a 10 kg party for Reese at the beginning of August.
Just checking in on Tuesday night. Hope all is well tonight.
nena and reese
funny. did a search for DIRTY SNOW at my library. what came up? king of the hill. season 2.
Thought of you as I watched the Twins lose. Wondered if you watched them lose too. Stupid Tuesdays.
@Danielle – Thank you!!!
I’m so thankful that you encounter such kindness–and I’m sure it made the plane-lady’s day to give Maddy her bottle. Glad you made it home safely after your fun trip to mn.
Oh, and a side note–as a Katie, I have noticed the overwhelming number of creepy Kates and Katies. Funny.
My sister in law is a Katie, does that count? lol.
Happy Birthday to all the creepy kate’s and Katies, i didnt realise there were so many.
Matt – thinking of you and Madeline today, hope its a good one.
Was thinking of you yesterday, hope this Tuesday wasn’t too hard for you.
I gotta tell you a funny story, Matt. Some of my girlfriends went on a weekend retreat last week, and of course copious amounts of pictures were taken. The girl that posted them later on explained when she took them that she was trying to “out-Matt Logelin, Matt Logelin.” Your photo taking skills have become legendary, it would seem.
=)
She was smiling at her angel!
I keep hoping that the kind/helpful strangers you run in to balance out the ignorant ones that upset you!