monday arrived
which meant it was
back to work and
back to daycare.
(bored yet?).
monday night we
met with some of
our family members
and a creep
via skype
to discuss newer
and bigger ways
to help families
deal with everything
the follows a moment
like we had
on march 25th.
good things
will come from this.
after our meeting
maddy and i met
up with
stella, anna and bob
for dinner
at a restaurant
near my home.
we laughed about
the past and
contemplated the future.
tuesday came and it
was time to take
care of some things
i had been avoiding
for months.
canceled the netflix account
and sent back the
dvds i’d been holding
on to for almost
8 months.
they were the ones
liz
requested for her
last week in
the hospital.
two of them
i never would have
watched, but one
of them was
one that we
planned to watch
together.
one i will never
watch now,
despite the fact that
everyone i know
says it’s a
great movie.
just hearing the song
from the movie
makes me lose it.
can’t imagine what
would happen if i
actually watched the fucker.
the other thing
i did was cancel
liz’s
cell phone service,
getting rid
of the phone number
that she had for
more years than
i can remember.
she loved the number
because it was
easy for people to remember,
but hated it because it
shared everything but
an area code
with a hotel
in the area.
she used to get
calls at all
hours of the day
and night
from people who
guessed the wrong
area code, asking
if she had
any rooms available.
so why did
i continue to
pay for her
cell phone service
the whole time?
just in case
there was someone
out there who
didn’t know what
happened and called
to check in on
their old friend.
thankfully i never
had to answer one
of those calls.
i did, however,
answer well over
50 calls from
people looking for
a hotel room.
(i don’t and won’t miss those calls).
i also thought
i may want to
call one last time
to hear her voice
on her voicemail.
i couldn’t bring myself
to do it.
now her voice
is gone,
except for the
videos i took on
the day that maddy
was born.
i’m not sure
i’ll ever be able to
watch them,
but they’re their
for madeline
if she wants them.
that night we
had dinner with laura
at a lebanese restaurant
in the glendale.
we had a huge
meal and a piece
of the pie
she baked for me
as she gave me
some words of
encouragement.
afterward she headed
home and
madeline and i
went to amoeba to
pick up some things
that should help me
get through the
next week.
ran into our
favorite employee,
fresh off tour
with her boyfriend.
she was surprised
to see how big
madeline has gotten.
maddy slept as i
picked up a few
things i had planned
on getting.
on a whim
i ended up with
an album
i knew nothing about.
during the past
five days i’ve become
completely obsessed with
this song and
wednesday night we
had dinner
with stranger emily v.
at the french restaurant
in the atwater village.
we talked about
what happened on
march 25th and
she told me
that the same
thing nearly happened
to her.
both of us left
dinner that night
thinking about what
could have been,
would have been,
if things had turned
out differently.
on thursday my
baby woke up
with one of her
all-time biggest smiles,
which kept
me from getting to
work at my
usual time.
was missing her
terribly when i got
there so i used
the color copier
to make some unauthorized copies.
(there. that’s better).
after work and daycare
we were greeted
by a bunch
of visitors who heard
that madeline is
quite the piano player.
she happily played
for the assembled crowd,
but i think her
playing may have been
a little too avant garde
for their tastes.
(just look at their faces…they can’t process just how awesome she really is).
she made $20 in tips
before finally
pushing over her piano
and rolling stage right.
that night we
had dinner
at the french restaurant
in the eagle rock
and celebrated the
2008 beaujolais nouveau festival.
met up with amy
and her friend wendy
and enjoyed a grand
meal while maddy stared
at all of the
red balloons
hanging out on
the ceiling.
that night i stayed
up too late,
unable to sleep until 4:30am.
friday night auntie
anya stopped by
with some pizza.
i rudely ate without
her as she
spent some time
playing with madeline.
maddy feel asleep and
we spent the
next few hours
talking about things
over some wine.
she agreed to come
over during the
next weeks and help
me decorate for
the holidays.
i never been a
big fan of the holidays
and i always thought
that getting a
tree and decorating our
house when we
spend the holidays
in the mn was
a terrific waste
of time and money.
liz,
of course, felt
the opposite way.
christmas was her
favorite holiday and
she would spend hours
creating the perfect
christmas card to send
to our friends and family.
and she’d spend days
decorating our house
while i shook
my head and
provided absolutely no help.
the only thing i
did do was
help her pick out
the christmas tree and set
the fucking thing up,
covered in sap
and bitching the whole time.
i’d give anything
but madeline to
have her back here
with me so
i could give her
a christmas free of complaining.
instead i’ll give madeline
the christmas that
liz
would have wanted
for her.
and anya will help me.
(she is an amazing friend).
we spent some time
laughing through
tears before
she left for home.
i spent some more
time with those
arthur russell songs
and feel asleep
before midnight.
on saturday, madeline
slept until 8:30.
i wish i had
been able to do
the same.
instead i got
up and did a little
pre-cleaning before
our housekeeper arrived.
madeline finally
woke up and decided
that it was
time to wow
me with her new
and improved rolling
over technique.
but first, she had
to think about it
a little bit.
then she finally did it.
and i made her
do it over
and over
and over again
until i got recorded
after all of that
work we both took
a little nap
as our housekeeper
made things right again.
that evening i
ended up spending
the evening alone
with my little lady.
we did a little
shopping in the pasadena,
using leftover gift cards
to buy some extra
warm outfits for
her upcoming trips
to the mn.
then i picked
that should keep
me busy over
the next week.
later we had
a quiet dinner at
a burger restaurant.
maddy slept and
i got a head start
on my reading.
we drove home
and went to sleep.
on sunday we woke
up to fog,
something we don’t
see too often
around here.
when the fog
finally burned off we
headed downtown to
the moca on grand ave.
to check out
the louise bourgeois exhibition.
maddy hung out in
the front pack,
making friends with
the security guards.
she also made lots
of noise at the art.
from grand ave
we walked a little
ways to moca’s
stopping along the
way to take some photos.
maddy smiled the
entire ride.
her smile made me
think of the
last time i was
here, just a few
years ago with
liz
.
we wandered through
an exhibition on
altered states of perception,
discussing the fact
that we wanted to
do these kinds of
musuem visits with
our children.
fuck.
i’d totally forgotten
about that trip
until today.
it’s amazing how these
things can sneak
up on you.
we went inside
and walked past
some photos that
made me stop in
my tracks.
then we admired
some drawings
before madeline
became completely mesmerized
by this:
it must have acted
like one of those
pocket watches used
by hypnotists,
’cause she was completely
knocked out
soon after.
i stopped to
look at a few more things
before making our way
back through downtown.
grabbed a few
more photos
until maddy finally woke up.
i changed her
diaper right there
on the sidewalk,
gave her a bottle
and made our
way to the car.
on the way
into the parking structure
we got a
little side tracked,
stopping in the shop
at the big silver
concert hall.
i found a whole
bunch of poundable musical
instruments that should
keep maddy busy for
a little while.
the lady at the
counter said,
“christmas gifts for your baby?”
hadn’t thought of
them as christmas gifts,
but i guess, yeah,
they are.
so now she’ll
have to wait
about a month to
make more noise,
which will
give her a little time
to practice
her piano.
funny…i’m not forcing her
into a life
of music.
she just seems
to love pounding on
toys that make noise.
she’s lucky ’cause i
suck at everything
parents sometimes push their
children into.
i’m awful at sports and
i have no musical talent
so i don’t have
anything in particular
i want her
to do.
that said, she’ll
likely end up being a
piano-playing swimmer/runner,
just like her mom.
no matter what,
it will be her choice.
we drove home
and watched a little
football until
it was time
for the nightly
family phone calls.
talked to aj for a bit
about the upcoming week.
so much excitement.
we’ll be back in
the mn by tuesday
evening, ready to
visit at a
moment’s notice.
i spent the
rest of the
evening getting our
stuff ready
for the flight on tuesday,
all the while,
dreading thursday.
105 Comments
Great update. The shots of Miss M’s piano concerto and her audience are hysterical!!! All these moments you are capturing will be such a priceless gift for her one day. Thankyou for sharing them with all of us as well. Will be thinking of you and that beautiful baby girl even more than usual during these coming weeks.
hi matt,
it’s been a coon’s age since i’ve commented, though i still read regularly. maddy is getting so big and smiley! you continue to be a beyond-great parent everyday. i wish you a happy thanksgiving filled with great memories and too much food.
leslie from wayzata
travel safe! enjoy your family and friends.
love the video of her rolling over!
the tip jar picture is my new favorite. it is THE best.
“i’d give anything but madeline…” truer words of a parent were never spoken.
*hugs*
I love that you’re going to decorate for the holidays and give Maddy the Christmas that Liz would have wanted for her. That’s so important. Be sure to start some sort of traditions that you will do every year. She’ll always remember them and will likely pass them on to her children when she’s a mom.
Did Maddy’s quilt arrive okay? I haven’t heard from you but have assumed you’ve been busy and also wondered if you didn’t want to open it quite yet. Just let me know if you received it okay though. I’d hate to think that it hasn’t arrived yet.
Hope your trip to MN is wonderful!! We just got snow in Michigan today…I’m sure they probably have some there also! Maddy’s first snow!! How exciting!!
Awww – she looks so sweet! I love that the smiles are coming more and more now! And the piano concert – bravo! I can’t wait to see what instruments Maddy gets for Christmas…just be prepared for her to play more with the boxes and wrapping paper that day than anything else LOL.
Love the pic of Madeline entertaining her peeps. $20 bucks is a lot of scratch, good for her.
Have a nice Thanksgiving. Will be thinking about you guys over the holidays.
~Z
oh and meant to say i saw some of louise bourgeois’ works at basel last year in miami. . . very special woman.
a cool benefit of living in this little art bubble (there’s a big art school here) is having friends who take me to locations far and wide for the sake of art. go culture!
Love, love, LOVE the pictures of Maddy playing piano for her audience. Hysterical and awesome all at once.
I will be thinking of all of you on Thursday and hope you and Maddy have a safe trip back here to the MN.
I knew you would decorate for the holidays for Liz and Madeline. You are so awesome to do that for Madeline! I hope Thursday doesn’t suck too much for you. Let us know in the MN if you are going out and want some company.
Have a safe trip back to the MN. We have family coming out here. Thursday will be fine. The food is awesome and Maddy will have a blast. Any other suckiness will pass.
I am loving the concert she gave to her friends, and the little tip glass made me actually laugh out loud. My husband surely thinks I’ve lost it. She is so flipping adorable…and while she does look a lot like her mommy, she resembles you a lot too! Glad to read a new update.
LMAO at the piano pics. Have a safe and Happy Thanksgiving!
The pic of her smiling in the stroller (the close-up) is just too much. She is so adorable. Love the toothless grin. You better enjoy it while it lasts… she’ll no doubt be cutting teeth very soon! Enjoy your trip to Minnesota. Happy Thanksgiving to both you and Maddy.
the pictures of madeline playing for the stuffed animal audience is simply precious. i love it.
you have a prodigy on your hands, haha.
Wow, you covered all the bases in this post! So sad, so happy, so incredibly funny! Sticking The Fucking Robot in with Maddy’s audience was…well, brilliant. I’d be willing to bet the 20-spot came from him, huh?
(And I’m SO glad you didn’t have to answer any of ‘those’ calls.)
I sincerely hope you’re able to find lots of joy and happiness this week & throughout the season to come. Eh…I know you will.
Have a great trip back to the MN!
Way fun tradition for maddy for Christmas, if you want her believing in the Claus of course, take a pair of work boots or hiking boots with good deep tread and put some flour in a container, flour holds the best, put the boots into the flour and walk from the entry way to her room to the tree and out the entry way again (you’ll have to re-flour the boot bottoms) — she will be ABSOLUTELY convinced that the Claus was in her room checking to see if she was asleep — you’ve got time to practice this year and next — year 3 she will be a little more into it… 4 to 9 — totally rocking with it — she will never forget the Claus prints — also another 1, order her a letter from santa every year – several places offer them — my guys love getting them ….. Have a safe trip and a good visit with family over t’giving. God speed.
Oh that pic of Madeline giving her piano performance was a HOOT!
MATT! What the hell do you think you are doing encouraging her to ROLL and CRAWL! Are you insane?!
Oh life is going to become verrry verrry busy for you soon enough. You will be chasing her around the house!
I’m laughing my fatarse off over the thought of you running around, gathering up her “audience” and lining them all up for her set. That, my dear Matty, is what is, and what WILL, make you one kickass dad of the week. That’s a funny ditty…. rotflmao (of whatever the feck that thing is) at “rolling stage left”… fuck, you’re robot funny dude.
On behalf of Mads, on thursday when you go around the table and say what you’re thankful for… she says “My dad.”
I know the holidays will be hard, but I’m so glad to hear that you’ll be in the MN with your families (and all of us stranger friends who care about you and Madeline and Liz so much).
I hope you share a picture of AJ’s new baby girl when she comes! I bet that Madeline and AJ’s girl will be good friends when they get a bit older…how exciting!
Have a safe flight. We in the MN look forward to seeing your pictures and reading your words that show us our home in a new way.
Even though you are dreading Thursday, have a Happy Thanksgiving and a safe trip to the MN
Chiming in. She does look lots like Mom. AND dad!
I LOVE the piano pictures! She is too darn cute and only $20 in tips? I mean come on! She’s way more talented than that! Have a good flight tomorrow!
wow, maddy is looking so much like liz. beautiful girl.
Have a good time in the MN. I don’t post often, but had to remind you that you are doing an awesome job. I am a working mom and don’t find any time to blog (even with my husband’s help) so I can’t imagine how busy you are. You take such good care of Miss Maddy, but please never feel obligated to keep us in the loop.
As a side note, I work in an occupation that involves death every single day. Your blog helps me feel some of the emotion that my patients must go through with their losses. Most of them don’t share this raw emotion, but you blog helps me to remember how death, whether expected or not, steals a part of the people left to live. I hope you feel so blessed to have such rich memories of Liz. I hope someday you do watch the videos from the day Madeline is born. For now, just keep things looking bright for Madeline.
Madeline’s eyes are beautiful!
Hey Matt, just a heads up. maddy’s gums by where her two front teeth will be, look like they might have teeth soon.( my 2 kids’ gums looked like that b4 the teeth came through).
Love the concert pics.
Have a great turkey day !
Of course, great pictures…Maddy is definitely getting bigger!!! Sucks about the movies, the phone, and all the shitty stuff. Good luck with your travels tomorrow, and enjoy spending time with family and friends. Happy Thanksgiving!!
Just a note to say safe travels tomorrow – I cannot believe how quickly Maddy is growing up! The video of her rolling…LOOOVE it!
And here’s hoping you bring some good warm weather with you when you come as you seem to have every other time you’ve come *home* to the Mn!
xoxo – darcie
Matt, Great update as usual. Sorry to hear about the dvd’s, phone and all the other things that remind you of your beautiful Liz
Wow! you’re right it really sneaks up on you. At least you will be around family and loved ones. Safe travels tomorrow and Happy Thanksgiving w/ Maddy and the rest of the fam! Enjoy your time there and will wait patiently for another update! thanks for sharing! and Maddy is getting bigger and Gorgeous just like her mama! xo
Piano baby -
…and they sit at the bar
and put bread in my jar
and say, man, what are you doin here.
Oh, la la la de de da
La la de de da da da
First time I’ve laughed in weeks, thanks
ur the bestest ilu
I just wanted to comment to second what everyone else has already said…the piano pictures are SO precious! The tip jar one is made me laugh out loud! I hope you have a safe trip, and I’ll be sure to say a little prayer for you and Maddy on Thursday. Happy thanksgiving.
I hope you bought warm stuff because it’s fucking COLD in the MN!
Decorate the tree and celebrate the holidays knowing that they will always be missing someone, but will be precious just the same.
Safe travels to the MN. Happy Thanksgiving.
Holy shit, I LOVE the pics of her concert and how all her fans were watching (including the creepy robot!). That is just tooooo cute! Baby steps Matt, baby steps. I pray that you two have a wonderful Christmas!
LOVE the picture of Maddy and the tip jar. She’s precious!
That picture of Maddy with the tip jar is the best ever. You’ll need to save that for the day she plays her first concert. She’s a beauty, that one. Oh, and she’ll be crawling any day! Get ready. Have a blessed Thanksgiving Matt.
Hi Matt – once again you are an awesome dad, the piano, the audience, the tip jar, the christmas decorating, museums, etc.
I hope that you have a safe and nice trip to the MN.
The first holidays are always the hardest. I’ll be thinking of you, and hoping that Maddy and your family put plenty of smiles on your face to dry the tears you’ll surely cry.
I looooove the shot of Maddy with her tip–great shot! Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
Have safe travels, Matt and Madeline. Thanks for the piano pictures; they are inspired and inspiring. Weather in the Cities this week is pretty mild for MN winter, FYI.
Great pics of the piano-playing! I play myself — I took lessons for about 13 years, and I plan to teach my son and any future siblings to play. If we can afford a piano. I hope I don’t become THAT parent that pushes her kids into music and theatre and stuff.
Being a working parent gets monotonous during the week, I’m right there with you. I went back to work in early September. Go to work, pick up the baby, go home, try to get some laundry done. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Keep giving Maddy reasons to smile.
I absolutely LOVE the animal audience for Maddy’s piano concert…precious, thoughtful photos! She will treasure them and surely feel so loved when she sees what her Daddy did to make her smile as a baby.
And the tip jar…well, that’s the most hilarious thing I’ve seen in quite sometime.
You will be in our thoughts and prayers on Thursday.
thanks for the update – and i will probably never get bored with your blog, so go ahead and tell us all about work and daycare!
and like others have said, miss maddy is talent at its finest! (the robot looks like the bouncer!!)
Thinking about you all during the holidays…as i am sure it will be hard. Just know, you have tons of people who love you, and are thinking about you and praying for you!
and i know i say it a TON – but madeline is B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L! shes got some good genes!
MAtt,
Wishing you and Madeline a safe and Happy Thanksgiving. Your post me me cry tonight and laugh. Like I told you earlier, the picture of Maddy playing the piano is just a riot! YOu ywo are always in my thoughts and prayers.
Take care,
Debbie
Hey there,
I haven’t posted a comment in many months, but I just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you guys. Maddy is absolutely beautiful! This was such a great post- it made me cry and laugh.. I want you to know that you are such a wonderful Dad! I can just imagine you setting up the audience for Maddy’s piano concert- Fantastic! I’ll be thinking about you two on Thanksgiving.
Awesome pictures!! I hope you both have a wonderful Thanksgiving in Minnesota. It was great meeting you—let’s do it again soon!
Happy 8 mos Maddy! xo
Matt,
I love your blog. I do not even know how I stumbled upon it, but it is great. Your daughter is growing so fast. She will be crawling, then walking before you know it. From what I can tell you are an amazing papa and Madeline is so lucky to have you. I loved the picture of Madeline and her $20 tip. She is going to have so many amazing pictures to look at when she gets older. Oh yes and she is lucky to have a Bukowski fan as her dad, she is going to be blown away when she decides to pick up one of your books and discovers Hank.
Love the concert! And I love that Maddy is rolling over – so quickly she is growing. Oh and I so can relate with the essential pre-cleaning for the cleaners.
Happy Monday!
Hello Matt & Madeline! Have a safe trip, enjoy your time with family in MN. Take Care….
Well done on all your progress. The DVDs, the cell, the rolling over and, by no means least, the piano concert playing.
I can relate so much to what you type. My feelings on christmas pre & post are the same.
I’ve still not been able to watch any videos of Samantha, but as you point out, they are still there for when my child wants to watch them.
Fantastic pictures as well, and do you think I should exchange my boy’s drum kit for a piano?
Asalamu Alaykom,
The staged pictures remind me of a collection of toys I once saw at The Bethnal Green Museum of Childhood in London. A family of children loved their stuffed toys very much and would stage picnics or trips to the beach and then paint watercolors of them. Precious personified.
I think that Miss Madeline is your muse and you should rock with that! Stage some stories! Stage Snow White! Stage Little Miss Muffet! BUT …and here’s the kicker…DO IT NOW! You will not have her this age forever. She will be a pre-teen before ya know it (dare I say, “surly pre-teen”?).
As for the BIG T-Day: seriously be thankful every time you feel like life sucks. Think of something! Even if it is, “Thanks be to God that life doesn’t suck as much as if I didn’t have Madeline.” Be that Pollyanna who is looking for the “Glad Game”. No, it’s not hip, and it’s definately not blog-worthy, but it is the only way I’m going to get through it. I’m going to force myself to stay up-beat because it’s too hard to work yourself up from down.
May you remember all your many blessings and may all your thanks be heartfelt.
Clever girly, she’ll be off before you know it! Hope everything goes well for you xXx
Hate the stuff about the cell phone and the movies with Liz’s voice. Fuck.
Travel safely.
@ leslie: I haven’t heard the phrase “in a coon’s age” in well… a coon’s age! How truely Minnesotan. I’ll bet Matt got a laugh out of that too!
@ Matt: Thank you for the update. I know that the holidays will be very difficult for you, but I also know that being with Madeline and all of your family will make it a little bit better. You will be in my prayers. I can’t wait to see what Madeline thinks of her first Thanksgiving! You should let her try some mashed potatoes! Have a safe trip today and a Happy Thanksgiving!
Safe travels back to the mn. See you soon!!!
Enjoy your trip and stay warm.
First of all, never bored! Second, so sorry about all the Liz stuff. So hard. Third, have a great trip to the MN. Last but definitely not least, happy 8 month birthday Madeline. What a special little girl being raised by a very special daddy.
OR maybe Ms Madeline will be a rock star photographer…
Seriously…the “piano scene” is one of the best photos I’ve ever seen! I think it would make a totally rad Christmas card. Someone earlier used the word “thoughtful” to describe your efforts…I couldn’t agree more. I’m always so impressed when I see parents embrace the whimsical opportunites that life has to offer. I suspect that your daughter will develop a very creative and inquisitive mind because of your influence.
I’m saddened by the hurdles you continually have to face in the aftermath of your loss. Reading your blog has provided me with much appreciated insight into what one struggles with during the neverending grieving process.
Man–all I could think was Billy Joel’s “Piano Man.” She’s doing great and so are you.
When you said she pushed her piano over I snorted with laughter. Sounds like she was channeling a little Jerry Lee there!
The tip pic is priceless!
I read your blog all the time and look forward to every entry….today I actually laughed out loud at my desk at those piano shots with all of her animals. Frickin’ hilarious. What a great dad you are.
I.Cannot.Love.That.Priceless.Piano.Picture.More.
I lost my sister 4 years ago, so I know the pain of voice mail, videos, the sound of her voice, etc. I’ve found it easier just to avoid those things.
I wish you peace on Thanksgiving. While you have suffered a tremendous loss, you also have so much to be thankful for…and so does Miss M.
have a safe trip to the MN! i hope you, madeline and your families have a wonderful thanksgiving..even though it will be a hard one. i am extra thankful this year for stumbling upon you and maddy. you have no idea how much you have impacted my life.
and good luck to aj and his wife!
i read daily but havent been on to comment for a while- the two smiling pics this post are so so wonderful, love the tip jar pic and the one of her smile all the way to the exhibit- wow, what a bright light!! She may end up with musical talent or not, or play soccer where you can cheer for her or not, but if she gets one ounce of your wit in writing or your eye behind the camera she’ll blow all sports and music right out the door hands down!
Have a blessed Thanksgiving with your family and safe travels!
Wow Look at little Miss Maddy sitting up all on her own! Not to mention rolling over.
Oh Matt…your pics and blog break and lift my heart up at the same time. If I am ever blessed to have another baby..I know that I will be stealing cues from you.
Maddy’s pic with her “audience” is so funny..that little face of hers. She does look just like her mommy. I know that the upcoming hoidays are another hurdle for you to get over…But know that you are in the hearts and minds of many many people.
God Bless.
Myrna
Hang in there Matt. You’re sounding more raw than usual, which is to be expected with the holidays upon us. You’ll get through this. Big hug to you and many smooches to Miss Madeline!
Please go call Liz’s cell phone company back. It may be too late now, but just in case call – when they find out the cell phone user has died they CAN save the outgoing voicemail message. I *just* read about this a week or so ago that they do this, and you should call and see if they can still get it to you.
I understand the pain of having to cancel services. But you’ll be able to help more families with the money saved on Liz’s cell phone and Netflix.
I haven’t been able to comment in awhile, but I just wanted to say that I’m so happy that you two are having good and wonderful days together. This little angel has grown so much. And her smile is incredible. Wishing you peace for the holidays and beyond.
she is getting so big and more beautiful by the day! That picture of her, the piano and the tip jar melted me!
Matt she’s so beautiful (but you already know that). You can see how in love with her daddy she is when she’s smiling at you with her whole face. Have a fun and safe trip to the MN. I know this will be hard for you, but as you’ve already shown us all, you WILL get through it, if for no one but Maddy.
My son was watching her videos again and saying “baby come” and holding out his arms (he’s 20 months), he wants to play with Maddy.
You’re really friggen awesome,
Rosie in the San Jose
Just so ya know, Matt, we are now owners of a bring red piano like Madelines, for our baby Sydney. She doesn’t know quite what to do with it yet, but is very entertained when my husband bangs on it for her!! She’ll soon be carrying on just like Maddie…oh, what have we done?! lol
I could stare for hours at the photos you take, simply breathtaking. My fave, though, is her with the piano and her fans. That.is.incredible.
Best to you as the holidays approach. I can only imagine how difficult it will be without Liz but the blessing you have is that you’ll get to spend the days with Maddy.
Take care.
diggin the piano bit. may have to purchase one for the tiny one even though we have a full sized one. hmm, how to run this by the tall one…
Hello Matt, you have no idea who I am, but my friend told me about you and I have followed you and Madeline’s fun filled journeys for a couple of weeks now. I must say that your daughter has the best daddy in the world for her. You do such a good job with her and documenting her little life. I’m sure your wife is looking down at you both smiling from ear to ear every day
I have a 2 1/2 yr old girl and 7 month old twin boys and I wish I could keep an account of everything like you can.
Precious. She is beautiful. Keep your chin up this week.
OMG LOL, I love the tip jar and the rolling over video. So awesome! Happy Thanksgiving to you both. We will be thinking of you…..
Oh and I am happy to see the robot made it to Maddy’s performance!!
The pictures of Madeline playing the piano for her friends are priceless! They are just awesome. Hope you guys have a happy and safe Thanksgiving!
Oh, that picture of her looking at you over the piano is adorable! She’s really starting to look more like you. You sound a bit down in this post and you got me teary a few times. I hope the holidays aren’t too tough for you. I’m glad you’ll have family all around.
Seriously…the piano picture is the most hilarious thing I have seen in ages!!! Thank you for all of the smiles!
i’m trying so hard to hold in my laughter from the photos and description of the concert, i’ve got tears! you are such a great story teller, both verbal and non.
let us know if you’re heading to the cuban restaurant, we live close by and jon would love to talk music with you. i’m sure lydia and madeline could chatter on and on as well.
Love the piano photos, I laughed so hard!
She looks like she is ready to crawl any day
Hoping Thursday doesn’t suck too badly.
The pictures playing the piano are adorable, hilarious and more hilarious LOL
Happy birthday
You sure have a way of making me laugh and cry all wrapped up in one post.
Loved the piano pictures, then cried with the Liz picture.
Hoping you will have a Happy Thanksgiving, and hope today didn’t suck too bad.
From your flickr pics, it looks like you are home in the MN! Welcome back! I hope you enjoy the weekend w/ family/friends. I know Liz’s presence will be missed…
Can’t believe she’s already 8 months. We’ve all said it about a million times, but she is so adorable. Her hair is growing SO fast!!!
Happy Thanksgiving!
My 3 year old twin girls and I check out your updates every so often and smile at how grown up Madeline is getting! They call her Baby Maddie…they probably wonder if they have met her somewhere! Funny way how kids are so accepting of loving those they don’t even know! K the oldest by 3 minutes said “oh how cute…chubby baby” They love babies and we enjoy seeing you raise that beautiful little girl! I am so very impressed by your love with your daughter and the way you live “rawly” with the grief of missing her mom!
(Not sure if RAWLY is a word but it was the way I felt to describe it!)
Thanks for sharing your life and your thoughts and struggles!
Mostly you brake my heart and I cry with the need you have for your wife and your daughter’s mama but then I smile with the beautiful life that you have gone on to live.
You are a Hero and you really challenge me to be more in love with my partner and my girls.
And appreciate what I have at whatever phase we are at! Thanks!
From a lover of all things Holiday…watch the Macy’s Day Parade with your girl! It is something I have always enjoyed despite my Love’s eyes rolling and laughing at a grown woman getting excited to see the new Broadway plays and big ballons! My girls now love to watch it and get excited about the holidays! To me it’s the best way to start being Thankful!
Happy Thanksgiving!
We wish you the best!
Happy Turkey Day!
Can’t image the position you are in just feeling lots of empathy for you.
Even though the rotten depressed sad times spring up on you, remember to acknowledge the awesome, fun times that hit you when you are expecting the worst as well. That’s what you will want to remember and Madeline to remember as well!
Have a good time with your family!
Love the piano and tip jar pics. Love them.
I hope you arrived safely in the MN and have a wonderful Thanksgiving. It will be thinking of you and Madeline tomorrow. Liz would be so proud of you and the wonderful life you’re giving your baby girl.
Matt, you are such a good writer–the part about pushing over her piano and rolling stage right just cracks me up! I hope Thanksgiving is better than expected for you. I am thankful that you are sharing your and Maddy’s life with all of us.
My brother is a widower as well and has been for 5 years this week. He still doesn’t work, he still doesn’t do much with his kids, he’s a crap parent. I read your site and what you are doing for your daughter, and it just makes my heart sick for my neice and nephew, but overjoyed at how “lucky” your daugher is. No one should have to grow up without a parent. Your ‘that’s life and we have to move on’ behavior for your daughter is inspiring. Not many dads step up like you have.. and the truthfulness in your feelings is .. i don’t know how to describe it except for real. You don’t overplay or underplay your situation.
I hope you have a tasty Thanksgiving.
Oh my gosh, she’s just so darn adorable!!!!! Just the sweetest little face I’ve ever seen! I am thankful that you have her, and that she has YOU! You two are a great team! Love the tip jar photo! : )
Just thinking of you and Madeline today and wanted to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving!! I LOVE the pics of Madeline playing her piano, so cute. The “tip jar” and the crowd she is entertaining is hilarious. I think you should compose a book of Madeline pics too. It would bring so many smiles to those of us who love kids!! (and others as well as you take amazing pics and Madeline is so adorable)
I can’t even imagine how bitter sweet the holidays are for you. I am so glad you have friends and family with you to help celebrate and “decorate”. Your stories so remind me of my family. I think going all out on holidays is more of a female thing than a man’s and I am so glad you are going to continue Liz’s love for it as Madeline will soon learn to love. I know my girls get into it too!!! I am sure Liz had lots of holiday decor but if you need anymore, please LMK. We have such an abundance that I do not have room to put out all the goodies every year and I would love to share some with you and Madeline and it would make me feel great to think Liz would have loved it too!!
Take care Matt!
I LOVE those piano playing pics with her audience, they are so priceless!! She’s such a beauty and so grateful you’re sharing her joy!
Happy Thanksgiving, Matt & Maddy…I’m thinking about both of you today and hope you have a nice day among family and friends.
Happy Turkey Day Matt and Maddy! Sending love,
Libbie, Dale, Luke, Jeremiah and Micah
I hope your than ksgiving was as good as it could be.I love the pictures of Maddy and the piano! The tip jar one made me lol! She is absolutely beautiful!I
I loved reading your update and was totally awed with the diversity of the audience for Maddy’s piano concert.
I am so impressed with how strong you are and it grabs my heart every time I read what you share with us. It is majorly important to form traditions for Maddy, and she will come to treasure them beyond your wildest dreams.
I hope y’all’s Thanksgiving was joyful.
Wow Matt,
My computer has been down for 2 months so I haven’t had a chance to check in on your posts. Boy has she grownup!
Your doing a great job! Happy Belated Thanksgiving
I love the picture of her playing at the piano and her stuffed friends are listening in awe. Beautiful. The tip glass is a nice touch. She is so precious.
Thank you for sharing your story. Your daughter is beautiful.
Matt she’s just BEAUTIFUL! I can see Liz in her, as well as you. Enjoy the holiday’s with your sweet baby.