christmas day.
9 months since
it
happened.
woke up
trying to forget.
spent the morning
watching maddy open
some gifts and going
crazy with her
older cousins at
grandma broccoli’s house.
they tired her out
so i packed her
in the car seat and
headed to the
house of the g. grandparents.
she woke up as
we walked in the house.
i guess she knew
that she
was about to tear
through some more gifts.
after a few photos,
we finally let
her do it.
she got a lot of gifts,
but i think
her favorites were
the bongos
and ice skates
from awesome auntie deb.
after some pureed carrots
and a nap,
we were off to
grandpa tom l’s house
for dinner and a visit.
we got there a
little late, but
maddy still got hang out
with her great grandparents
for a little while.
then she got to open
a few more gifts.
5:11.
3:11 on the west coast.
tried to shake
it out of my head as
i ate dinner.
maddy got passed
around then we said goodbye.
we drove back to
grandma broccoli’s house
and i dropped maddy
off for the night.
she needed a break
from me, but mostly
she has some grandparents
who really want
an excuse to have her
all to themselves.
and tonight was a night
to be with friends.
i needed it.
so i drove toward
nate and stacey’s place.
as i left the
mtka, i drove past
the gas station
where i met
liz,
i heard this song
and thought to
myself that,
gee, it’s not all that
good to be back home.
i finished the
song and switched
to something else.
made it to
the st. paul and was
greeted by nate.
spent the beginning of
the night eating
meats and cheeses
with nate, stacey
and bobby m.
we did a lot
of talking then
it was time
for bobby to leave.
as he left we were
joined by deb
and lindsay.
the rest of the night
was spent talking,
listening to music
and drinking some wine.
said goodbye to
deb and moved
on to other music
and other drinks.
later, nate and
i talked of a subject
that we’ve become
all too familiar
with over the past
few years,
a subject that
we should know
little about at
this age.
suddenly it
was 6:30am
and it was time
to sleep.
four hours later
i was out the door
and on my way to
the mpls.
stopped at a few
of my favorite record
stores before
heading south
toward the colianni house
to hang out with emilia
and her parents.
we talked for
a bit then
headed to the cuban
restaurant for lunch.
after lunch we said
goodbye and i
drove back to
the mtka to spend
a little time with
my best girl.
that evening i had
dinner with a bunch
of creepy women
and some of
their husbands.
had some laughs then it
was off to one
of the awful bars
in the hopkins
for a few drinks
with some dudes from college.
a couple of
the creepy ladies tagged
along and we
all had a great night.
dec. 27th…
madeline modeled a
new outfit from
grandma broccoli and
paired it with the
new heels from
grandma candee to create
one of the most
absurd baby ensembles
ever put together.
i rolled my eyes
but laughed, thinking
about how much
her mother would
have loved this shit.
later we played
and tried to
teach maddy to crawl.
(she is so close…).
then i attacked her
with a tissue to
to the nose.
(boy does she hate that).
that afternoon we
picked up josh and
drove west
with one
thing on the agenda…
visit the the world’s largest twine ball
made by one man!
(apparently there is a larger ball of twine made by multiple men).
maddy was a great
sport and posed for
a bunch of photos
in weather that
could only be described
as really fucking cold.
it was so
cold that we got
to wear the new
hats from laurie
(thanks for these awesome things, laurie).
later we went inside
and met roger,
the keeper of the
twineball museum.
he told us a
ton about the
history of the area
and of course, about
the twineball itself.
we left the
museum with a ton
of twineball paraphernalia
and promised to send
roger photos of
our friends wearing
the t-shirts.
that evening we
stopped to see a few
of josh’s relatives
then drove east,
stopping along the
way for this:
made it to the mtka
where i left maddy
with grandma broccoli
so i could
catch up with
nate and aj
for dinner in the st.paul.
we had an
absolutely amazing meal
in a nearly empty
french restaurant.
after dinner i dropped
nate and aj
off at their homes
and drove back
to my mom’s house.
stayed up until 4:30,
unable to sleep.
sunday i woke up,
got maddy dressed in
a fancy new outfit
and took her to
amy d’s house for
brunch with some
folks i haven’t seen
in years,
and others i hadn’t
seen in hours.
there were lots of
kids for maddy to
hang out with.
it was great to
catch up with
everyone, but soon
enough it was
time to leave.
we headed back to
grandma broccoli and
grandpa rodney’s house.
maddy hung out with
the grandparents
while i napped on
the couch.
i woke up when
the guests arrived…
the g. grandparents and
awesome auntie deb,
along with tons
of my family members.
we had a nice
meal and spent
the rest of the
night watching madeline
and ava play.
later we said
goodbye to
the relatives who
don’t live in the
house and went to sleep
early, exhausted and
knowing that tomorrow
is a big day.
monday morning it was
time for madeline
to use one of
her christmas gifts.
we drove to the
mpls and met up
a ton of folks
at an indoor skating rink.
maddy took a little rest
before finally hitting
the ice.
she seemed a
little confused at first
but i think
she learned to
love it.
(skating before crawling? never thought i’d see it).
madeline landed in grandma
candee’s arms
at about the same
time that grandma broccoli
landed on one of hers,
breaking her wrist
in two places.
gotta give the
ol’ lady credit though…
she went back
out on the ice
to make it once
around the rink
before heading
to the hospital.
(it was her first time on skates in more than a few years).
as for me…
it was only
my third time
on skates, but
i managed to stay
on my feet,
despite my nephew’s
attempts at knocking me over.
(check out creepy nancy’s photos of the event).
after the skating
trip, maddy
knocked down a bottle
got bundled up,
and we all walked
across the street to
visit lindsay at work.
she introduced to some
of her coworkers
and gave us the
full tour.
deb helped madeline
while lindsay played with
cara and her kids.
later, maddy sat on
a bench in front
of a rather expensive piano
and entertained a
small crowd of actual
human beings.
(instead of a robot and stuffed animals).
we then watched
as maddy and cara’s kids
played with smaller instruments.
madeline tried to
eat her shaker
then was joined
on the drum by rylee
the little girls
gave lindsay
a round of applause
then we were
off to lunch.
after lunch we drove
down the road
near the mn river
for a cold weather
photo shoot.
after waking up from
her nap,
maddy joined us
and was once
again an incredibly
good sport.
(i can only hope she’ll be so understanding when i try this during her teen years).
i put her back
in the car
and went back
outside while nancy
entertained her.
lindsay and i
took a few more photos
then drove back
to the mpls,
dropping lindsay and nancy
off along the way.
made it back to
the mtka so that
maddy could spend
a little time with
grandma broccoli
while i joined johnny utah,
josh and nate for dinner.
we had a few laughs
later i picked maddy
up and we went to
the house of the g.
grandparents so
i could pack for my
trip to chicago.
yes.
new years in chicago.
can’t be in the mn.
can’t be in the ca.
too many memories.
12 years worth.
great ones,
but i don’t want
the reminders this year.
i don’t think
i can take it.
i’ll be gone
for three nights.
as for maddy…
she’s gonna end
up spending a night
with each set of grandparents.
it’s good for her.
it’s great for them.
in a few days
the worst year of
my life will be over.
but it won’t make
a difference.
this shit
is life-long…
135 Comments
:-/
Thankfully, fatherhood is lifelong too.
Sounds like you had a lot to keep you busy – but it probably didn’t help that much. 2009 is bound to be better – it cant get any worse, right?
oh, and i LOVE maddy’s heels! she is ahead of her time. such a trend setter.
Thinking of you guys, and praying. still very very sorry that you have to deal with this.
Matt, It looks like Madeline had a good Christmas! My Grandma lives in Cokato, so I drive by that big chicken all the time! And while I’ve driven through Darwin many many times, I’ve never stopped in to see the ball of twine – must add that to my list. Happy New Year to you & Madeline!
there is that — the one little gold thread to cling to: it *was* the worst year of your life, and it’s over, and you lived through it (yup, even “just barely” counts).
so good fucking riddance 2008 — and welcome to a certainty few of us will ever have: it can *only* get better from here on out for you, for the rest of your life. it may be a long, long time before it’s really good, but it will never be *this* bad ever again.
hope chicago was good to you, and here’s to some healing in 2009. one day at a time.
ps: that baby girl is so dang breath-taking.
i was in chicago for nye too! for different reasons…
i hope the city offered what you needed.
you’ll get packed in time. you always do!
and the site looks great!
I’ve been thinking about you and Maddy during the holidays and from the pictures, I’m so glad to see that you guys had the best Christmas possible. I absolutely love that your daughter was on skates before crawling. She has true MN blood!
I’ve said this before, and it bears repeating. You are an awesome father! You are creating many wonderful memories for you and documenting them for Maddy for the future. She’s a very lucky little girl, but you are the lucky one. She’s a doll.
P.S. I can’t believe how big she is getting. Love her 1st pair of heels. Her hair is getting soooooo long!
Matt, good choice. Happy New Year, my friend. You have an awesome family surrounding you. Gods speed.Not life long, just now long.You have been entrusted with a gift, Maddy. She will make your world okay.
Life-long. Ain’t that the truth. Such a blessing and a curse. A blessing that Maddy will know her mommy though you, your memories, and through everyone else who loves Liz. A curse, because living with the past is so hard, I know.
The pictures are adorable!! Such a graduation from the pink piano. She’s a child prodigy by any standard! Oh, and *loving* the green hats!
Here’s to the many blessings coming your way in 09′.
Skating before walking…that girl is an honourary Canadian too!
Happy New Year to you and the cutest wee baby around (I can honestly say that now that mine is a toddler lol). I hope that 2009 is a better journey – and it will be filled with sad memories – but you and Maddy will be making so many new and wonderful ones, and what a precious gift you have for documenting them for her and sharing them with us. Thank you!
seeing Maddy in those baby heels made my day.
I can’t believe that kid can skate and put on a piano recital before even crawling. She puts my daughter to shame (don’t tell her I said so). I loved all of the pictures, especially the Radio Flyer one, reminds me of something we had when we were little.
I’m glad you guys got to spend so much time with family over the holidays. Here’s to a good year in 2009.
Great pictures, as always. It’s nice that you have such a supportive family. I have to admit, 2008 was really horrible for a lot of reasons. Our friend, my best friend’s husband died of a heart attack (35yrs old) on the 11th of Dec. It really sucks. I told my friend about your site so maybe she’ll check in when she’s feeling up to it.
Chicago is my favorite city…I hope that you enjoyed yourselves. Madeline is so adorable…can’t wait to see pics of her in Chi-town:)
2008 sucked ass. I’m glad it’s over. I can only hope for better things in 2009, but yeah… some shit is life long.
( Can’t wait to hear about Chicago. My husband’s aunt lives there and for Christmas she told us to pick a time to visit and she’ll fly us out and let us hang at her place. Awesome. I needed some awesomeness, so that was nice. Maddy seemed to really enjoy Christmas. I wish you both the best in the new year.
It is NOT life long my friend.
Both my parents are widow/widowers. I just spent my night celebrating my second fathers 72nd birthday.
You will ALWAYS love Liz. That doesnt mean you will never love again. I am sure you will. Just not yet.
And BTW, just to show how old I am, They just celebrated their 30th anniversary in September.
As always, the pictures of Madeline are stunning. I was hoping you got back home or he holidays, and it’s good to see you did something entirely different to ring in the new year.
Here’s hoping that 2009 brings good things.
Madeline is such a beautiful baby! Did you start an photo album for her??
The heels are killing me. I just watched the video with my 16 month old and she kept squealing “baby” every time Madeline came on. That was a great piece! Gosh Madeline is going to have the most amazing “keepsakes” as she grows up. Happy Happy 2009.
Agreed to the worse year of your life. That being said that means that you have lifetime of love from sweet Maddy too. You always find a way to express your pain and struggles without sounding like a victim. When in so many ways you and Maddy are, at least of circumstance.
You look like you have an incredible family and extended family and friends (and creeps) to keep you busy. In that respect, you are incredibly lucky. Very few people truly have that strong a network to lean on.
I wish you all the best and continued healing as the pain which will never ever go away, drifts further back into your conscience. Leaving only the beautiful memories in its place with a tinge of pain.
Welcome to 2009! Let’s see what this year will bring for all of us. (Go Obama!)
Hope your travels are smooth today. Blessings in 2009…
It is lifelong. I only hope it gets easier to deal with because I know you’ll never stop missing her.
Maddy is fabulous. I can see what a great job you are doing with her.
The heels are awesome! Love all the photos and the story that goes with them. You have such a great family and great friends surrounding you two!
Wishing you and Madeline a Happy New Year.
Debbie
I know you hear this all the time, but I am compelled to tell you that you are an amazing person, not only for your daughter, but for your wife. She must have really lived life with you.
Lifelong indeed, but I’m in no doubt that it gets less painful, with time.
As deserving of a smack as that statement is, I do believe it’s true.
The firsts will always be very hard.
She is, as always, just gorgeous though. Bluest eyes your side of Big Ben!
Praying 2009 is a great year for you!
Madeline is adorable in all those photos. And all the scenery photos are beauitful, as well.
Loved the Twine Ball pics! When I was in college a bunch of us road tripped from MA to MN to go check it out during spring break. A couple of summers ago I went to the twine ball in Cawker City, Kansas. This is the largest ball. Every year they have a twine festival (which me missed by a week) but you can make arrangements to add to it if you stop by.
Cawker City
I can’t believe you came to Chicago without Maddy and didn’t tell any readers! As a Chicagoan, I would have loved to meet up. Next time, next time. Sounds like you both had a great Christmas!
I hope that 2009 brings much more joy to help ease the sorrow…
As always, thanks for sharing with us crazy strangers. I love the photos – your doing a great job making Maddie such a trendsetting young lady! She’s beautiful and thank goodness you have such a great core of family & friends to rally with you.
Happy New Year’s Matt & Maddie
I didn’t even know they made baby heels. Heh.
I hope 2009 is a better year. Maddy seems happy and wonderful. So something is going right.
I’m kinda viewing 01/01/09 as the “first day of the rest of your life”. I know it’s not the life you planned or wanted, but I also know you’ll take what you’ve been given and make the absolute fucking best of it. It’s just how you roll.
Here’s to ’09!
Matt and Maddy: I wish for us all a more peaceful 2009, in our day to day lives, and in the world.
Love the new look, Madeline looks like she had a fantastic first christmas, can you imagine next year???
Here’s to a better 2009! I agree 2008 fucking sucked and anything has got to be better than that damn year. We lost our son in May, he was 2 years old.
I’m glad to see you had a wonderful Christmas despite the date.
Here’s hoping that 2009 is a happy, healthy year for you and your precious Maddy.
Maddy is just too cute! Poor Grandma Broccoli – broken arm in 2 places – yikes!
I hope 2009 goes well for you. I know 2008 was incredibly difficult. Thinking of you both & praying for you.
Thankfully 2008 is over…here’s to a brand new year without all of the shit of last year. Maddy’s getting so big and even more beautiful (if that’s possible…)
Wish I would have known you were in Chicago for NYE…would have made a little road trip…only about 5 hours from me.
Happy New Year M&M!!
Madeline is so dang adorable!!!! I can’t get over those heels. Matt the firsts are very hard I have no doubt, but time will heal. You will always love Liz and never be over her, but you will one day be able to smile when remembering her. I think you are doing an amazing job with Madeline. Once all the firsts are over may it only be good from there. May 2009 be a healing year for you.
You continue to make such awesome memories for Madeline. And she’s the best dressed (and most adorable) kid in town for sure! Such a little fashionista.
Wishing your family the best of all things possible in 2009.
Thank you for allowing us to travel on this journey with you (or at least watch from the sidelines).
Happy New Year to you and Madeline. I sincerely hope that the next 365 days are filled with only happy memories.
*On a side note: there has to be some ironic/cryptic message about evolution hidden in that picture of the Darwin sign right next to the Twineball museum sign. I just know it has to be.
Here’s to a new year, may 2009 bring you more happiness and a little less pain.
Happy New Year Matt and Madeline!
I LOVE the picture of Madeline in her Hello Kitty socks! Her baby pudge is showing! Love it!
I am glad you had wonderful family and friends all around you during the holidays to help you through. Maddy was made for the holidays – she looks so great in all that red!
Looking forward to hearing your adventures in my hometown – I’m hoping your NYE in Chicago was more exciting than mine!!
Thanks for another wonderful post. You remind me that I need to be grateful for the things I have in my life. Things that so many of us take for granted. Thanks for that. Madeline is absolutely beautiful.
Looks like a wonderful Christmas with the G parents! Such gorgeous photos as always Matt. That little darling is getting more precious with each day. Happy New year to you and Maddy.
I need to know where that hair bow is from, I’m in love! My poor duck haired baby has crazy person hair and she’s only 8 months old!
Thanks for a new update. I swear I think Miss M grows by miles in between posts. You can just see her personality in every picture. I hope that your New Year’s brought you *some* level of peace, in knowing that that at least 3/4 of this first year without Liz is over. I can tell you that time does heal…it doesn’t necessarily make it better, but it makes it easier to live with your new normal. I hope that 2009 is really, really good for you and your little fashionista.
Nice to hear your voice in your interview on 1/2/09. Awesome!
You are such a wonderful Dad!!!!
my hubby and i drove to the ball of twine when we were dating! it was great to see you two there! makenna and i also spent new year’s in chicago… hope you had a great time and hope you and maddy have a really wonderful 2009!
I may have already posted this to you but my memory it’s not so good. Each time you post, I choose a picture of Madeline to be my desktop background. This time I chose the one of her sitting in the red plaid in the snow.
I also LOVE the shot of her at the big piano!
Asalamu Alaykom,
You know the funny thing about 2008? You can’t really say it sucked worse than 2009. 2008 had days and days with Your Liz.. 2009 won’t have them.
For me, I would love to just lump 2008 into THE WORST YEAR EVER category, but that would be a lie. It sucked. Yep. It REALLY sucked but it also gave me beautiful moments I could never trade.
So, it isn’t really that the sh*t is life-long. It’s that the sh*t and the devine are intertwined; hence your tattoos. That ebb and flo is life-long. After hardship, there is ease…again and again and …ya…again.
You have had EXTREME hardship. You deserve the ease I read in this blog entry. Love. Happy times. Cute kids (Ava is mashahallah giving her cuz a run for her money). Matching hats!
And you need the reminder of the gas station. Just like I needed the reminder of Mr. Boo at the ice cream case on Friday (he always got a free ice cream at his Baba’s store). Those reminders keep us from thinking that we will always be in happiness AND they help us appreciate the happy times MORE.
As you fly back to LA, keep remembering MN’s cold hands and warm hearts, The Giant Ball of Twine (made by a single person…not to be confused with giant balls of twine made by groups or societies), and our enormous fiberglass animals. We’re here for ya, buddy!
I hope that Chi town put on a great new years for you. I can’t even begin to understand…. You are an amazing human being, father, husband, friend — really the whole shibang! I know that 2009 will bring a host of new things as you continue to mold little Madeline- she is SO amazing and beautiful!Thank you for the continued lesson of never take anything for granted. Now get back to the warmer weather!!! Or send it this way!!! I am ready for spring already!!!
Figures you’d be in Chicago the one time I wasn’t! Maddy looks adorable and she gets cuter all the time. You’re doing a great job, Dad.
Madeline is getting so big – what an absolutely gorgeous baby you have!!! I love the pics of her on skates and at the piano too.
Here’s to a great 2009 for you both!
Maddie is just a doll! I love following your blog! I now must find my daughter those heels:)
Love the matching hats and the snow and all the cold weather photos which are many. I concur, Matt 2008 was a shitty year. Hope 2009 is better for all of us.
Maddy got herself some Heelarious Shoes!!
YAY Grandma Candee !!! Such style you both have.
You made it through the worst year, Matt – only good things from here on out, I pray. *hugs*
You and Madeline are so lucky to have each other.
Here’s to ’09.
wow! loving the pic of Maddy in her heels. Ms. Fashionista!
Looks like Maddy had a very Merry Xmas! She’s adorable! I hope that you had a Happy New Year in Chicago, and can’t wait to hear all about it! Hoping 2009 is a better year for you and Maddy filled with much more love, health and happiness! XO
Sounds like you had an awesome vacation with family! The new layout is very cool, love the pic at the bottom, and the new “about” interview. Cheers to you and Maddy for a happy 2009!
As the mom of 2 girls I am sure Liz would be so proud of all the adorable outfits you dress Madeline in. You have great taste. Thinking of guys alot, being a parent is the hardest job in the whole world, you are doing great! What a cutie pie you have on your hands!!!
I know you miss her. I know her absence leaves a burn in the fabric. But she is there, in those eyes of your Maddy. I am sorry this sucks.
Maddie is so sweet, you are one lucky guy. Happy New Year, I hope 2009 is full of happiness for you and Maddie.
Loving the His ‘n’ Hers woolly hats.
And Ice Skates man, that is brave. I’m in the process of Ebaying some rollerblades Max got for his fourth birthday, that would definitely end in tears.
Hey Matt – I’m glad you carved out some time for a few of us creepy broads and a few of our creepy husbands while you were home – It was great to see you and see for myself that you are hanging in there and doing ok ~ Here’s to a new year, and hopefully, things getting just a tiny bit easier for you.
Wishing you and Maddy only great things in 2009! You two are a dynamic duo that have tremendous super powers – strength, laughter and love. Not much more powerful then that!
The about. video is amazing.
Here’s to 2009 being such a better year for you and so many others.
Hope we can all get together again soon!
2009 will bring you better memories and a wonderful little girl to spend it with. Great pictures as always.
Best wishes for you in the New year. I like the new layout, too. I ADORE the pictures of Maddy in MN. Hope you had a nice time.
Madeline is GORGEOUS! WOW!!!!!
@flutter: I love how you put that: “her absence leaves a burn in the fabric:”. Truer words were never typed.
I am hoping 2009 is good to both you and madeline. I love the heels, and hope that grandma broccoli’s wrist feels better soon.
If you are ever in the Columbus, we’d love to take you and madeline out.
Hi – tried to leave a comment before on the video, but I don’t think it took – so I will try again – what I said was that I am glad you are not sick of hearing people say you are a great father – because here it is once again – you are a great father! The fact that you are giving Madeline the life you know Liz would’ve wanted her to have is phenomenal. I think you are amazing, and I hope you both have a fantastic new year. I know Madeline will, because she has such a devoted dad who is dedicated to giving her an awesome life!
Wow what an action packed week.
I can’t believe that Madeline was on ice skates….how fun!
Hope GB’s wrist is better.
Great Photo’s.
Matt, I do not think it can be said enough times that you are an awesome father. Thank you again for letting us into your life and into this love story to your sweet Madeline and Liz. Wishing you only the best in 2009.
I’m glad to hear you survived Christmas and that you were surrounded by so many great people. I hope you had a blast in Chicago!
Loved, loved, loved the “about” video…..just great. The ice skating rocked too! I’ve always wanted to go skating at The Depot…and a 9mo old beat me to it! Crazy. I don’t think I’ve ever heard how Grandma Broccoli got her name….hmmmmm…Hope she’s feeling better. Madeline, you are so beautiful and loved by so many. Oh, and I grew up very close to the twine ball and I’ve never seen that either…wow I have some catching up to do Maddy!
I am new to your blog today. I can’t stop crying, and I can’t stop reading. I am a new mom to a 6 month old, and you are the definition of amazing. If something ever happens to me, I would want my husband to be able to do just what you are doing. Your wife would be so proud of you for giving your daughter an amazing life. I wish you and Madeline the best in 2009.
Hi Matt!
I’m so happy I found your blog again! Maddy is just soooo adorable! I can’t believe how much she’s grown! Last time I checked in she was just a teeny one and now she’s gotten so big and looks like you’re doing a great job! (not that I ever doubted it!)
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Lyne
What was up with the TV during the winter photo shoot?? How could you add those with no explanation? Whatever the reason, they’re pretty funny pictures!
I hope my fair city was good to you while you were here. And here’s to things getting a little better in 2009.
wow, so much to comment on. while you say you have only skated 3 times, you really weren’t too shab and you didn’t even fall! so kudos. the girls and i had an absolute blast. thanks.
the “about” video is great. as is the new pics/layout. nice. and i really do like the pic of you holding a pic over your face despite the harassing.
getting long, sorry. glad you’re done and over with this big chunk of holidays. sorry it was hard to go through. i wish you and madeline all the best in 2009! hope you two have a good night!
You truly are a wonderful father. Wishing you all the best for 2009.
It was great to catch up with you while you were back. The two of you rocked the hats!!! Hope your flight back to CA was uneventful. Cheers to a better year.
I’m sure when Maddy looks back on the record of her first Christmas, she will be so proud of hard how her dad worked to give her a good holiday despite how painful it must have been. Love the new layout to the website, and I especially love the “about” video, it adds an entirely new perspective to the blog to hear and see you talk about it, and again since you don’t tire of hearing it…you are a great father! I hope you had a nice time in the chi over new years, and I’m looking forward to learning about what “national” level m&m will soon be on!
Wishing you and Madeline only the best in 2009, no one deserves it more than you two do.
I’m continually fascinated by the human experience and truly appreciate any/all opportunities to “hear” the personal stories of others. The “about” addition to your blog is absolutely fantastic! It was so enjoyable to hear/see your personal take on the writing you’ve done and the experiences you’ve had. The date of your tragic loss has not come full circle yet, so I imagine you will have some more “firsts” to contend with in 2009. May you find the strength to endure and perservere.
By the way…your post inspired me to drag my 3 year old out for her first skating experience. Keeping her up on her feet broke my fucking back, but I laughed the entire time!
Take care of yourself
Dude, you did it. You saw 2008 through to its bittersweet end and managed to learn to strap your kid into a car seat properly, too!
You are a fantastic fucking father, Matt, and never forget that Liz knew that before and better than anyone else in the world. She must have been an amazing person to know; that she chose you to spend her life with speaks volumes about you.
cheers,
j.
I always think Madeline is the cutest baby ever–but then I see pics of her in things like those ice skates and I realize she is even cuter than I thought.
Lifting my glass to you both for the new year.
So happy to check and see a nice long update. Looks like you are still doing an awesome job
and Maddy is cuter in each picture. I personally think I have the best dad ever, but I’m kind of guessing that Maddy is going to feel the same way about you. She looks so happy in all the pictures, she is clearly thriving in the world you and your fabulous friends and family are creating for her. Thanks for continuing to share a peek into your lives – you are helping me to live in the moment and appreciate.
I go to Minnesota every year for a couple weeks and for some reason I have managed to miss out on the more country side of it. My sister and brother in law live in Shoreline and I never really get past there…Id love to see the parts that are shown here! I’m dying to go that twine museum!
Looks like you guys had a good Christmas!
Been thinking of you all during the holidays! My daughter was born a week after Maddie(4/4) so it’s neat to see them growing up together; kinda in a roundabout cyberworld way. lol. She is adorable and you’re doing everything Liz would’ve wanted to do with her! Be proud of yourself!
Matt. I found your blog in May last year. My husband had not long got found with a shitload of cancerous tumours in his abdomen, five days before I gave birth. So i had the baby (boy), hubbie went on chemo, (insidious), and I lose my mind. I come in and check your blog … and you make me want to love my baby more. It has been so hard. Thank you so, so very much, for letting people see you – all three of you.
XO
Here’s to a better year than last year! Glad to see you had a nice trip home. Hang in there…..
Maddy is beautiful.
Happy New Year Matt and Madeline! May it bring you many smiles and laughs along with first steps and first words!
Rock on Darwin! I grew up not too far from there and stop often with friends to show off the greatness of the mn!
Wishing you a wonderful New Year!!
wow – busy holiday! I’m just glad you made it through it reasonably okay. And I love all the pics – especially the ones of Maddy’s new outfits – adorable!
ps – love the new look of the site!
Hope this year is better for you two.
Beautiful pictures. Maddy is the best dressed little girl, especially for being dressed by dad lol!!
Madeline is so beautiful. You’re doing such a wonderful job raising her. Much love to you two.
It’s funny to read your blog and know you come to the MN but to see a picture of something from the very town I live in totally shocked me!! The big Chicken there is from my town sorry I just think that it is really cool. I love all the pictures of Maddy she is so dang cute!! Take care!
Maddy gets more beautiful every day, I swear. I love her little santa outfit, too cute – I don’t know who is picking out her clothes but they are fabulous, so if its you, good job dad!!! Love the update, glad you had a nice holiday and I so love people who visit weird things like the giant twine ball and giant chicken – that is my favorite part of traveling, seeing things like that!!!!
Here’s to a great 2009 watching Maddy grow up even more!!
Great cold weather photo shoot, Matt, and sneaky to see you driving on the left, too. That’s the English way to do it.
Spirits up.
To all Matt’s readers: please note that nominations are open for the 2009 Bloggies. http://2009.bloggies.com/ I think someone we know might be deserving of some recognition.
(Sorry to hijack the comments, Matt.) (Not really.)
Love the new look..very cool.
Glad to hear you had a good time over the holiday, you gave madeline a wonderful 1st Christmas. Love her Hello Kitty socks and that purse…the “heels”..wow
Sorry to hear about Grandma Broccoli’s accident, and yeah, what a tough one! She went on skating!!
Wishing you and Madeline a very happy, healthy 2009! I will look forward to reading about all of the adventures you have together!
Dude! That girl is so adorable. Your pictures are amazing. Your friends and family want to support you. Can you listen to to happy music, please?! Happy New Year and all that jazz….
You take the best pictures of that sweet little baby of yours. Happy New Year to you and your family.
Glad to hear you spent the holidays with those that love and care for you and Maddy. All good.
Miss Madeline is as gorgeous and adorable as ever. A much loved child and for your efforts should (and know you must be) somewhat proud (but pissed off) that you can do this on your own. Good riddance to 2008 Matt. Here’s to looking at a whole new year full of opportunity and healing.
I am so sorry you have to do this shit alone
I dont think Madeline can be any more beautiful than she already is…and that is due to your love and care!
I was in Chicago this New Years (up from Oklahoma)…wishing you peace this 2009.
All this shit you have had to deal with sucks so rotten but your beautiful, life-loving daughter is a testimony to your above-and-beyond job and the amazing spirit of your late wife. Thanks for sharing with the world.
Hang in there! Ayize and I are thinking of you guys every day.
P.S. Chicago for New Years?? How did you dig our weather?? It was almost tropical by normal standards…but still…!!
Just have to say, the “1″ next to everyone’s comment is fucking hilarious! You have thought of everything!
Hi, Matt. You may not remember me– but I am a friend of Candee and Tom’s– one of the other PB Coordinators in Mpls. I had the great pleasure of spending time with Madeline on New Year’s Day. I planned on about an hour and it ended up three. You are not at all suprised, are you? She is adorable, smart, fun and so close to crawling! Hope you had a great time in Chicago and all my best wishes for a bright and healthy 2009.
Jodie Boderman
Matt,
First of all, Maddy is so beautiful! Second, just wanted to share a little mom tip. I tried these for my now 16 month old a few months ago and they were great. You’re doing an awesome job!
http://terrih77.wordpress.com/2008/10/26/i-just-have-to-sharei-just-have-to-share/
Sorry, I pasted the link incorrectly.
http://terrih77.wordpress.com/2008/10/26/i-just-have-to-share/
I just wanted to say….
I just discovered you via ms. single mama.
You and maddy have just touched another life.
Caused a few tears to fall.
Caused a heart to swell.
Caused another kajillion gallons of love, best wishes, dreams and hope to go gushing out into the world.
Thank you.
I hope that writing this blog helps you half as much as it does us to be reminded how fleeting and precious life can be. Seriously hoping that your 2009 is happy and wonderful and brings you peace. You and Maddy both.
Been following your blog since…it’s been a while (May?). Anyway, just wanted to let you know how much of an inspiration you’ve been to many, myself included.
The pic of maddy sitting on the piano bench, in front of an audience, is simply breathtaking…and tear initiating. Keep up the great work, Matt.
Wishing you some peace in the ’09.
Madeline is beautiful! I just had to tell you, although I’m sure you hear that all the time.
Thanks for a good, long, photo-filled updated. Very satisfying, indeed! Madeline appeared to hit the present jackpot this first Christmas…she is, as always, so beautiful…with her mommy’s eyes.
On to 2009. Looking forward to seeing both of you grow in love and peace as the days pass.
I really admire your strength. Madeline is one lucky girl!
A happy, happy new year to the both of you!
matt –
glad you ‘survived’ the holidays. keeping busy 24/7 certainly will do that.
can’t wait to see what 2009 brings to you and madeline. i have good feelings that it will be worth writing about.
She’s gorgeous and looks so much like her mommy!! You two made a beautiful child. Liz’s memory lives on in your sweet little girl. I am glad you have one another to help you through the pain and loss. Praying for you both as you go forward into a new year. Peace to you, I know it can’t be easy.
Thought about you all often over the holidays. I enjoyed the photos….Madeline gets more beautiful every day. Seeing the pictures of her in her darling clothes reminded me of my daughter at that age………every morning after her bath I would put a new outfit on her and take her picture, all the while saying “oh Emma, that’s such a cute outfit”. After mommy, daddy, puppy, etc, the first 2 word phrase she ever put together was “Cute outfit” !!! You just wait………!!
Wow. I’ve read about your up and down adventures for several months now. Maddy is totally precious, and I love watching her grow. It’s heartwarming to see how you and she groove on each other. Looking forward to more Maddy adventures…..she has developed enormous cuteness!
oh gosh. can I come visit? Can I borrow her for a bit? Precious.
HI Matt I just wanted to let you know what your doing is amazing and very inspiring! She’s becoming more and more beautiful each and every day. I hope you guys have a great new year and hope it brings so much happiness!
P.S. I’m a Avon Independent Sales Representative and anything you’d like to order from me I’ll waive the shipping fee everytime to help out! We do carry mens and baby/children products not just womens and not just makeup.
I forgot to give my website
it’s
http://www.youravon.com/dbrown5825
Howdee Matt and little Madame Madeline.
I have been thinkign of you two- wondering how these past days- the ones that are hyped to be the family oreintated joyful days of glee- were actually treating you.
I haven’t logged on in a while- been offline- funny- ya know there is whole world out there hey?.. sometimes i forget.
still i wanted to check in- wish you well.
send my blessings and love for this upcoming year-
here is some good tidings for a wonderful 2009.
cause 2008 can bite it.
-love hf.
2009 has some awesome things in store for you and Madeline.
I loved reading about your Christmas and seeing all the fun things you are doing with Madeline–you’re amazing, Matt. The bond that you share with Madeline is so special. She’s going to treasure this blog and all of these memories someday.
All of our love to you both!! ?
Hi Matt,
I’ve been following your blog for awhile now. Madeline is gorgeous. I’ve been what you would call a lurker until today. I just had to comment on those superbly cute Hello Kitty socks (or tights?) Madeline has on in one of the above photos… SO CUTE. Hope you guys have a great 2009! xo
Keep on keeping on Matt. I just love seeing the love you and Maddy have for each other. Pretty magical. And I liked your little video interview. I’m on pins and needles as to what this “national” thing could be.
Matt, can you possibly read all these messages? I saw you that night at Lion’s Tap with those creepy ladies. Creepy indeed. We thought about rescuing you, but you looked like you were holding your own. Not to mention, I could never deny anyone a good old burger from the Tap. Had Madeline been there I definitely would have rescued her. She can’t eat burgers anyway. Cheers.
Hello Matt, I read your article in PEOPLE magazine and since then I have been reading your blog for the past two days. I just wanted to say that you are an INCREDIBLE father to your beautiful Madeline. You love is so pure and real and I love reading about your days with her and how you do everything you can with her and for her, even celebrating Christmas
With the help, support and guidance of your amazing family, friends and “strangers” you will one day be able to share all your memories and stories of Liz with the daughter you two have. I also found myself crying and laughing while reading your posts, Madeline is so blessed to have the great father that she does. Thank you for sharing your life, Liz would be so proud of you two. God Bless you and Madeline, she precious and keep doing what you are doing, it is working wonders!!! I look forward to reading more……
looks like you have a lil musician on your hands.
She is such a beautiful baby! She looks just like Liz. I’m sorry that you are going through this. God bless you both, you’re in my prayers.
I really loved this post, Matt. I’m telling you, one day our girls will meet and be BFF’s
Prolly in college or something.
The TV… was that just laying around LOL
This is the best:
I just finished reading the article in People magazine about you Liz, and Madeline. I underwent a C-section and ended up in ICU for many days to follow. I was the lucky one. I am sadden that Liz is not here on Earth to hold and interact with your beautiful daughter. But seeing your blog and reading your article, I know Madeline is blessed to have you as her father. I am amazed by your strength, encouraged by your determination and humbled by your honesty. I do hope that you continue your blog, for there are many of us who find joy in what you are doing.
From one single parent to another, (and fellow Minnesotan), I can empathize with the difficulty of being “the everything” for another human being. It’s a lot of pressure…like it or not, it may be even tougher for you since you are a male single parent, which is not the “typical” situation with which society is more comfortable. In addition, you are dealing with tremendous grief. Good for you for showing such strength on the “good” days. Kudos to you also for getting through those times when you’ve cried and had a hard time making it through the day. You are making it.
The heels were hilarious!
Your daughter is very beautiful.She is like an angel….
i think Madeline is blessed to have you as her father…..
God Bless You