on tuesday night i heard
something awful.
it has taken me
this long to write about
it because i have
no idea what
to say.
my friend
heather and her husband mike
suffered the most
unimaginably terrible loss.
was a light
whose smile was unforgettable.
over the past
few months i’ve
read her mom’s blog
and smiled right
along with
maddie.
she was a friend
to my maddy…
they played together
on a blanket
in griffith park just
a few short weeks ago.
my maddy stole
toys from heather’s
maddie,
but heather’s
maddie
just smiled.
when my maddy
started to whine,
heather’s
maddie
just smiled.
that’s all i ever
saw this child do.
and her eyes…
such beautiful eyes.
her mom wrote
about them a few months ago.
heather’s
maddie
was supposed to
be in my backyard
with my maddy
this saturday
as we celebrate
my maddy’s one year mark.
…….
heather’s
maddie
has been on
my mind since
i first heard
about what happened.
two nights later,
i sit here
and i finally know
what my readers
must feel like.
i feel helpless,
unable to find
the words,
unsure what
to do.
all i know is that
i will be there
for heather
just as she has
been for me,
just as you have
been for me.
please take the
time to
embrace and support
another stranger friend…
go to heather’s
blog and read.
you will be inspired
by the people who
have rallied around her,
you will be amazed
at the money that
has been raised
for the charity
to which heather and mike
have asked people to donate,
and you will
never forget
maddie.
(if you want to make a donation to the spohr family, you can do so by clicking below):
138 Comments
My thoughts and prayers go out to the Spohr family. My thoughts are also with you and Maddy.
I am just bawling, and damn the tears feel useless. That post was especially beautiful, profound and difficult to read. I just can’t imagine the all consuming grief they are going through, I’m glad they are surrounded by so much love and support. And while there is little I can do, I will do what little I can to pay tribute to this beautiful family. I know you will be an incredible friend to Heather and Mike and my thoughts are with you as well as you grieve with them and for them, all while working your way through your own loss.
my heart just broke when i heard about this on Tuesday…just broke…. i, too, am at a loss for words. May God richly bless that sweet baby and her wonderful family.
That is incredibly sad. Her Maddie really did have the most striking eyes. I’m sorry you and our Maddie lost a friend.
my heart hurts right now.. I am not a photographer right now.. i am a mother of another maddy.. and there are no words…
they are in my prayers…
g.
Maddie has become quite precious and real through reading her momma’s blog. I was so caught off guard Tuesday with her sudden crisis. Oh, and the ending we never wanted. My heart and prayers go out to the Spohr’s and all who know them. I am sorry for your deep loss here too. Matt, do for them whatever helped you get though it all; your compassion and insight will be a real comfort and strength for them. I am so thankful you and your Maddy are well and healthy. What a blessing.
I am so sorry for the loss of this beautiful child, my heart goes out to her parents, their families and friends.
Words escape me as well.
I couldn’t imangine the horror.
My thoughts and prayers have been with Heater and Mike.
I am sorry Matt-
I sit here totally lost for what to say to you right now, yet again.
There aren’t really words- and I am sorry for how much that helpless feeling hurts.
You are right though- sometimes all you can offer is your self.
You have a tragic first hand knowledge here, and I have a lot of faith that you can offer up support most people could not.
I wish this little one’s family healing- in time..
Someone who touched your life, who brought you much happiness, again- has been taken from this world…I feel for you and my heart breaks for her family.
I.m just so sorry Matt.
wow, Matt.. I heard about this through other circles, and didn’t realize these were your friends you’ve mentioned on the blog. Wow… small blog world out there. I’m glad you’re there for them.
So heartbreakingly sad.
My heart is broken for them as well. I was stunned and shocked when I heard the news on Wednesday morning. I’ve been following Heather’s blog and just recently starting posting comments. May the love and support from family, friends and the internet community easy their pain through this unimaginable loss. God bless Maddie Spohr
I was following her on twitter and her Blog about her little one being in the hospital
My heart hurts for them, no words can express the sorrow! As a mommy of 3…..
No parent should feel the lost of a child~
My heart is breaking for them. As a parent, I can’t even imagine losing a child. And as a wife, I can’t imagine losing my husband. My thoughts and prayers go out to Heather for the loss of her beautiful daughter and for you, Matt, as you mourn the loss of your wife.
I’ve been reading your blog for a while and this is my first comment. The support system that has been built here really touches me and shows me that there are still good people in this world.
Another blogger made the observation that when someone loses a child, we all do because that “what if” has crossed every parent’s mind. My heart breaks for them.
So sad and so unfair!
My heart aches for them. Thank you for sharing their story so that we may all donate and support their cause and feel like we are helping in some way during this tragic time. I pray for peace and strength for them at this time. Maddie’s beautiful eyes touched my heart.
I am so sorry for their loss. She was a sweet, amazing little girl. I lost a child last year and the pain is unbearable.
I’ll be thinking and praying for all of you.
Oh my goodness. I am so sorry for your loss and for the family. I spent some time reading the blog and am just heartbroken. I will be praying for all of you.
There really are no words. I saw the news after you posted on twitter the other day. it broke my heart. I am praying for Heather and Mike and little Maddy. And for you too Matt, as always.
hugs from NJ
Erica and Landon
I didn’t know Heather, Mike & Maddie, but my heart breaks just the same. Several blogs that I follow have reported about losing her. So sad. My heart & prayers go out to them.
I read her blog yesterday and was heartbroken to read that Maddie had passed away! I feel so heartbroken for them. I will be praying for them!
i know this pain all too well, having lost my child in august, my first born little girl. i will be sure to head over and send them my love and support. there is such a loving online community of “babylost” parents who will help them through these dark days.
My thoughts and prayers go out to the Spohr family.
I have not been able to get the memorial site to load. But wanted to let the family know they are in my Thoughts and Prayers.
I have been thinking about Maddie and her family all week as well. It’s haunting and tragic and so sad and unimaginable. My whole heart is with them and their friends and family. What a loss.
I found Heather’s blog through a link here a while back. I love reading about their family. I read that Maddie was sick but when I woke up Wednesday morning to see what had happened I was in complete shock. I am so sad for these two parents. I am sad for all the people that loved that sweet little girl. I amazed as I have seen on twitter the power of people coming together to support this family. I hope that support gives them some strength in this difficult time. We will be wearing purple on Tuesday for Maddie.
My prayers and condolences go out to Maddie’s family and friends! May Mike and Heather’s precious Angel Rest in Peace.
My heart is breaking for this family. She was such a beautiful little girl. I found their blog from yours.
Keeping them in my prayers.
http://sprucehill.typepad.com/
Matt,
As a mom who recently lost her 2 day old son, I want to tell you that this family needs you. Even if they ask for nothing. You have walked this path of intense grief for a year now, and sadly, it will help guide you to support that family in ways many people will only be able to speak of. We all know that actions count here…not just words.
Many just assume that others are taking care of a family’s needs, the truth is, many things get left unsaid or undone because others assume someone else must be there helping or being supportive. I know you will be there for them, because we both know this is the beginning of a new and not-wanted chapter. And the grief intensifies as others seem to move on and “forget” as the weeks and then months start to go by.
*We know differently.
My heart feels like its been ripped out. Losing a child is hell. That’s all there is to say about it. And when its already happened to you….it hurts even more watching it happen to another family….No one should ever have to go through that…I’m so, so sorry.
Exactly.
Just as you and Maddy have reminded me to appreciate everyday, so have Maddie and her parents.
It was good of you to tell us about their blog. My friend’s little girl died last year at about two months after being born three months premature, so I know how horrible this is. The loss of any child anywhere is an incalculable tragedy, especially one so young we didn’t even know what she was going to be.
I will keep everyone in my prayers!
I am so sorry to hear about their loss. I tried going to the link you put in your post to leave a few words of encouragement, but the site doesn’t seem to be working.
Please let the family know they are in our thoughts and prayers.
i too don’t have words to express what i felt after i heard the news…how awful. it’s hard to understand how life can be a certain way one second and then completely different the next. i am grief stricken and in shock. we never know why God takes people out of our lives…Maddy was a bright light to everyone who knew her (or read about her) and i’m sure she’s smiling her beautiful smile down on us from heaven. my thoughts and prayers are with you and them in this time of deep sorrow.
My heart just breaks for Heather and Mike. I was sick to my stomach when I heard the news. They are in my prayers.
the news continues to rock me to my core. i will be wearing purple on tuesday in memory of maddie.
I have read Heather’s blog since I started blogging. Who couldn’t help but fall in love with Maddie. When I heard the news on Tuesday I didn’t want to believe it. I actually finally let it sink in Wednesday afternoon and I have been moved to tears since. My heart is broken for a little girl I never met but fell in love with.
I feel so horrible for Heather and Mike. Maddie was a special bright soul and I feel honored to have met her. Had it not been for Heather and I sharing the same wedding photographer 3 years ago I wouldn’t have had the pleasure of watching her grow up this past year.
It seems this darling child touched a lot of peoples lives. I did not have teh opportunity to read about her before she was lost, I am so sorry for eveyones loss- but of course my thoughts are with her family.
Right there with you, Matt. So devastatingly tragic. I haven’t been able to get it off my mind. And this from someone who didn’t even have the opportunity to meet sweet Maddie in person.
I found Heather’s website through your website and visited it daily- for the past two-three months. When I woke up Wednesday morning I was not prepared to read that she had died…. Heather’s site was always so cheerful and sweet Maddie always brightened my day- I too am at a loss for words and feeling beyond helpless… I feel this overwhelming grief for someone I don’t even know.
The services are expected to cost $7000. Please consider contributing: http://is.gd/rJyw
My heart is broken for Mike and Heather but I am blown away by the kindness and generosity of the people who have offered to help them in any way possible or who have donated to the March of Dimes in Maddie’s honor. Maddie, like Liz, leaves behind an incredible legacy of love and they have both touched countless lives just by being who they were.
Mt heart has weighed heavy since I heard about sweet Maddie Sphors passing. I started to follow her mothers blog from a link on your page & I loved Heather’s wit & humor & always looked forward to hearing stories about sweet Maddie. I was in shock when i heard the news. Being a mom of a premie & having her on the RSV shot all last winter I knew the risks of a premie contacting that, but your think once they are past age 1 they are ok & Maddie was sich a fighter. I am just heart broken over this & have been holding my Sienna a little tighter. Please give Heather & Mike a big hug from me. I wish I could do more than just donate money, but at least I can do that.
I am so very sorry. I am just heartbroken and at a loss for words. “Hope is what happens as long as we breathe.” Just keep breathing….
Thank you for telling us about this beautiful little life. She is on to bigger and better things. My thoughts and prayers go out to the Spohr family, that they may find peace, strength and comfort to get them through.
There are no words. Just love and prayers going out to Maddie’s family. I pray for strength for her parents, and plenty of love to get them through the terribly difficult days ahead.
Words are never easy to find. I kept up with Heathers blog and also followed Heather on Twitter and saw her last update Tuesday and then read two words on yours Wednesday morning; my heart sank. She is such a strong woman (with an amazing sense of humor) who has gone through so much and Maddie was adorable. My thoughts are with the Sphors and you on the loss of their daughter and the loss of your Maddie’s friend.
The loss must be so unimaginable. We are sending so very many thoughts and prayers to their entire family. Life is so very precious. Hoping that they know the “Logelin Family” is there for the Spohr Family. Remembeing the beautiful memories through all of the tears.
I just read about her family yesterday (from the Redneck Mommy) and I spent a lot of time on her blog learning her story. I am absolutely heartbroken for her family.
As parents there is no greater loss. Many thoughts and prayers are sent west today.
What a horrific loss. My heart goes out to Maddie’s family.
I’m very sorry for your friend. As yo said it’s very hard to even imagine what they’re going through. As you, I have had terrible losses in my life. And I know losing a child is one of the most difficult things in life. Hugs and prayers to all of you.
when i heard the news of little maddie my heart broke, it seemed so unreal. heather and mike are in our thoughts and prayers during this horrific time.
I’m terribly sorry!!! I do feel so helpless and sad. I cannot get to her blog from your links. I will keep trying. May God bless, I feel such a loss of appropriate words to say.
Chills. I don’t know them but hearing anything like this always brings on the chills. I will hug my children extra tight tonight.
I can’t even imagine……. They are in my thoughts and prayers.
I am a mother of yet another Maddie. I wasn’t able to read the blog, but I will try again later. I just cannot imagine what they are going through. It is such a huge loss and words alone cannot express what I want to say. My thoughts are with them.
Losing a child is devastating. My heart goes out to the Spohr family and all who love them.
Sending peace and light to you all. Nena and Reese
My heart is breaking. All I know how to say is I am so sorry, nothing else seems right. It is so sad. Tears….
there just aren’t enough words…
a sadness i just can’t imagine.
the spohr family is in our thoughts & prayers.
Wow. That is exactly how I feel for you- helpless. I’m sorry for the loss of your and Madeline’s friend Maddie…and her parents- it’s unspeakably tragic to lose a cild. A tragedy I hope I never know…this feeling of hurt for them is terrible- I couldn’t imagine the hurt. I will head over and check out the charity- keep on matt
That is so horrible. I tried to go to the blog but it looks like the traffic must have crashed it.
I have been haunted by this since I heard about it. So devastating…You’re right–she had the best eyes and smile!
*no words*
lifting them up in my prayers.
My heart is also saddened and shocked by this loss.
Prayers for them during this terrible time.
I can’t get on the blog either
but I am so so very sorry for their horrible loss! As a parent I can imagine the incredible pain they must be going through! My thoughts and prayers are with them…….
What a heartbreaking tragedy. My thoughts and prayers are with them.
I cant post a comment there for some reason. I will try after work. I know that loss to an extent (miscarriages), but I could never know the pain of getting to know my little baby’s personality and then losing her. I know its not the same.
I feel so sorry for her and her family.
I also heard about Heather’s blog through your blog (and read about Maddie’s death via your twitter). So so sad. I think it’s a good thing that Heather’s blog is crashing right now. I noticed that their MOD donations went from $14k to about $21k in about a day. Sweet, beautiful Maddie continues to make an impact.
I can’t stop thinking about it…I’m just so heartsick for them. It’s just not right dammit. I was looking at pictures from the play date (the few that I have) and started bawling. I can’t even imagine their pain, their sorrow. I just can’t believe it. My thoughts and prayers are with them at all times and I hope that all the love and support is helping them through this horrendous time. I have seen all the money that has been donated and it just blows me away. Like you have shown us, there are so many wonderful people in the world and they are rallying behind the Spohrs. *HUGS*
xoxoxo,
Tricia and Bella in the So. Cal
there are no words for such an imaginable loss. my hearts are with their family and friends.
My heart just breaks. What an unbelievable sadness.
I hope to go over and “meet” here soon. I’m pretty sure all your wonderful readers have crashed her blog.
Much Love
Matt,
When I was 19, I, too, gave birth to a preemie. She was beautiful and she lived for a week. There is nothing that anyone can say that will even begin to touch the pain. The only thing that one can do, is to do what you are doing….being there for the parents. I am so sorry for their loss.
How awful. I’m praying for them.
i was heartbroken to hear the news about Maddie as well. It is so very sad.
I read your blog regularly but have never commented. I have felt so alone in my grief over this tragedy – I am so sad for Heather and Mike, whom I never met. I am so sad that you have to endure yet another heartbreak. I’ve not met any of you so it is difficult to explain to people why I am grieving. It helps to read the comments of your readers if only to feel the comfort of others sharing the same sadness. I add my name to the list of people who are thinking of you and your Madeline and Heather, Mike and their Madeline in this horribly difficult time.
I ditto what Julie (about 3 Julie’s above, lol) said. They need you right now. They will likely not reach out to you (said from a mom who has suffered the loss of a baby)– but they will need someone to guide them down this road of grief and to let them know they aren’t alone.
My heart goes out to them, it breaks a little more anytime I hear of the tragic loss of a baby or child.
I’m sorry, Matt. I am sorry that this has happened to your friends and I’m sorry that you are feeling this grief, too.
I just wanted to let you know that I am new to your blog, but spent the last month (at work, shh don’t tell) reading from the beginning. I just finished yesterday and needed to tell you how impressed I am with you. You are an amazing father. I have an 11 month old son, and his father is amazing, but looking at you, you’re like a saint. I cried, I laughed, and mostly I sat in awe staring at the pictures of your beautiful daughter. You are doing great!!!
Maddie and her family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Oh my gosh, Matt! I can’t get to Heather’s website, but I got to the March for Children page and saw Maddie’s picture. I remember meeting her. I remember seeing how delicate and fragile she was, rolling on that blanket with so many other kids at Griffith Park. I knew she was very premature when I talked with her mom. But to have her pass away is just awful! She seemed so vibrant and full of energy, despite her diminutive size. Since her blog seems to have crashed, please send her my sincerest condolences from Connor’s Mommy. Please still try to have a joyous celebration for your Maddy this weekend. What an unimaginable loss.
You said just right. Just do for them, do not hesitate or rethink what you want to do for Heather and Mike..just do. don’t ask. The gesture won’t matter, the thought that you were pro active
is what will help them the most. Give and give more in the weeks, months ahead….
i can’t imagine how heather and mike are feeling right now. along with you and maddie, they are in my prayers!
Matt, as faithful blog readers, we’ve supported you, rejoiced with you and cried with you. We’ll cry and pray with you and the Spohr family too as they cope with such a devastating loss.
It’s so so difficult to remember our children aren’t really ours, and God picks a flower out of his garden when he’s ready. What a beautiful blessing she was for the short time she was in your lives. Prayers, love, hugs forthcoming.
Take care.
Emily in the Indy
What an unimaginable loss for your friends and their family. I did try to go to the blog and leave my thoughts for them, but it’s unavailable right now. Please pass along our condolences to them. They will be in my prayers. Their Maddie is in heaven with your Liz.
All of my love and prayers to you and them. I’m so glad you can support them-you are going to be a rock for them.
that is so incredibly devastating, but just know that Liz will be watching over Maddie, without a doubt <3
my thoughs and prayers are with Maddies family, as well as with your family, always. Keep on smiling
I just can not imagine how difficult this must be for their family. The Spohr Family is in my thoughts and I’m hugging my son a few thousand times more a day after hearing this news.
My heart is breaking for these parents. I too was unable to get to their blog……. please let them know there are many of us out here who are trying to reach out that way but are unable.
I was planning on taking A to church tonight for the first time in a LONG time (okay – a long time for me, I’ve never taken her
that’s how long it’s been ) and will fill out a prayer request for this family.
Words have escaped me as well. When I first read your blog, my heart just shattered. I couldn’t think of anything to say or do and I had to log off and come back a few days later before I was able to even form half a thought.
It has been the same with the Spohr family. I hope they are able to find some peace. My heart is just breaking over and over for them.
In the hope that you will pass along some of the thoughts and prayers to Heather and Mike, I’m posting to your site. Heather’s site has been so overwhelmed with traffic since this happened, it’s frequently inaccessible. My thoughts are with all of you as you try to find your ways through this. No one will really find the right words to say; hopefully there will some small measure of comfort in knowing that friends and people they’ve never even met are thinking about them and feeling for them.
How very sad. My thoughts and prayers are with them.
There are no words…
My heart just breaks for Heather and Mike. I really enjoy Heather’s blog and I can’t even begin to imagine what they are going through. They are in my thoughts.
This just broke my heart.
It made me hug my little ones closer to me. You never know what’s going to happen. So very sad. My thoughts and prayers go out to the family right now. I only wish I had more words to say.
Wow Matt, I am so sorry for the loss of sweet Maddie. I am also posting to your site as I cannot comment on Heather’s. I will keep her family in my thoughts and prayers.
Like you, there are no words, just tears, for this sad, tragic loss of such a beautiful little girl. The Spohr family is in my thoughts and prayers during this time. While there may not be anything you can do for them at this moment, the thought of you just being there for them, if needed, is probably something that means very much to them. May our prayers for them be heard with God’s ears.
You should get together with this lady.
http://kquinnaustin.blogspot.com/
So very sorry for the loss that Heather and Mike are enduring right now. I’ve gone back to the site to post there, but it’s down…. My heart is just broken over this news. I am so sorry for the hurt you are feeling, too, right now, Matt. I will be remembering all of you in my thoughts and prayers. Words are just escaping me now.
I’m sure I’m stating the obvious here, but I think the heart is an incredible machine. 1st it takes care of the everyday functions of being alive, a challenge in itself. Then it keeps growing and growing and making more and more room for joy. Just when I think I love my Ava Claire 100%, I find another way for my heart to just be filled up by her. The same heart that suits us so well also takes an incredible beating. To get hit with the kind of pain that comes with loosing a child… how does the heart go on? I’m not going to play Celine Dion now. I’m just going to sit here and cry.
Such terrible terrible sadness.
What an awful tragedy! I suppose there must be nothing harder then one losing their child. It should never happen.
My prayers are with their family.
Perhaps Liz is taking care of her own Maddies’ little friend Maddie now.
At a time like this, typed words just seem so small. I am praying for all of you, Heather and Mike’s friends, families, all those touched by Maddie S.’s life
@ Kristen in CT – I love what you wrote – “Perhaps Liz is taking care of her own Maddies’ little friend Maddie now”
What a beautiful thought!
My thoughts will be with that family as they have been with your family. So sad. Tragic.
I am so incredibly sorry. Prayers for Maddie’s parents. Our friends lost a 7 week old baby on sunday to sids. This week really sucks. I am so so sorry.
Although I *hate* the reason why everyone’s learning about Heather’s Maddie, I’m pleased that so many are coming out from around the nation and world to support them. I can’t even begin to imagine what they must be going through right now. They are in my prayers, and you guys are too.
Your thoughts echoed ours…it was only a few weeks ago, a few very short weeks ago that our son was sitting on the blanket playing besides the beautiful Maddies and only a few days that we went back to Heather’s flickr site to see what pictures she had from that day… we are still shocked and our thoughts have constantly been with the Spohrs..
How incredibly sad. My heart goes out to them. Donation sent
I can’t stop thinking about this little girl whom I’ve never met. So sad….
I’m so sorry. You’re right, there really aren’t any words for a time like this. May God provide comfort to all that little Maddie has touched.
My heart has been breaking for them since Tuesday. There are no words, just tears.
I read about you in People magazine but was afraid to come here because I knew I would get attached, so I never stopped by your blog, which was wrong of me; not that you needed another cyber friend, but maybe you did? And then somehow I found you mysteriously on Twitter today. And yesterday I first met Heather and Mike and learned of their Maddie and their horrible and unexpected loss. And then I discover you and they are connected. This makes me wonder about God’s plan, and how He makes people, and the reasons we are given the people in life we are given to meet and love and befriend, and I wonder, not that Maddie’s death or your wife’s death was planned, but that your families connecting was in some way a purpose for you to be there for each other. There has got to be some higher meaning in all of this. I am so sorry and sad for all of your losses. Truly.
I am like Michelle (2nd commenter)…tear filled and feeling / felt useless…I am not very financially sound these days…and although I am unable to contribute monetarily, I will be walking for March of Dimes, wearing purple in honor of Madeline Spohr…I would recommend anyone who wants to do something…if you can’t afford to donate money…donate a little time…and show your support that way! And Matt…you ABSOLUTELY deserve being named father of the year!!! I couldn’t think of anyone else who is more deserving!!!!!! (And my son’s father is pretty spectacular!)
I comment on your blog rarely but read it always. I have had two very difficult pregancies with bedrest and early labor like Liz with my 1st and a Cerclage and premature labor with my 2nd. And you learn what a delicate balance life really is. Breathing, leaving, surviving, all those things so very random. It works out for the most part, but in that one moment in time that it doesn’t it makes it all so clear. The value of it all. So sorry for your loss Matt, Liz is irreplaceable. And now i am also sorry for the loss of little Maddies friend Maddie with the beautiful eyes. There is just no fairness to this world. Truly sorry.
I started reading Heather’s blog just this past Monday having seen the link here on your blog. I was immediately drawn to Maddie’s beautiful eyes – she was just a little doll. My heart is aching for her family and their tremendous loss. It aches for you and Maddy as well in the loss of your friend. You all will be in my thoughts and prayers.
There are no words, such a beautiful child. I started to read Heather’s blog through your link…such beautiful writing. I don’t know what to say… I am a mother. My condolences to the Spohr’s and all who we’re a part of Maddy’s life. May the Spohr’s family have strengh and find peace and comfort in their hearts.
I have followed both Mike’s and Heathers blogs for a while. Maddie always made me smile whenever I saw her. She was a beautiful little girl. I am sorry that you and your Maddie have lost a friend. Both of your families are in our prayers.
So sad.
This is somewhat random but I wanted to share this song with you. Everytime I hear it I think about you and Liz. I hope you like it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M1eLe52EH8k
I am deeply sorry for the loss of their little girl. And for you and your Maddy’s friend. My cousin lost her son at 2 a few years back to a sudden illness and it was a time of sadness for our family that I pray never touches us again. I don’t even know what else to say. As a mom of two it makes me want to grab my children and not let go.
It is truly heart breaking to hear of anyone losing a child. I know the heart break that Heather is feeling as I lost my baby girl 14 years ago. Friday would have been her 15th birthday. The best advice I can give is to be there for Heather and Mike. I had some wonderful friends who were there for me to lean on when my daughter passed away. They are still there for me each year on her birthday and the day she passed. The pain gets easier to cope with through the years except for those two days. It’s the days I remember her beautiful smile, her bright blue eyes, and all my favorite experiences.
My thoughts and prayers go out to Heather and Mike.
Here’s a poem from a card I received that gave me some comfort:
Don’t think of her as gone away
Her journey’s just begun
Life holds so many facets
This Earth is only one.
Just think of her as resting
From the sorrow and the tears
In a place of warmth and comfort
Where there are no days or years.
Think how she must be wishing
That we could know today
How nothing but our sadness
Can really pass away
And think of her as living
In the hearts of those she touched
For nothing loved is ever losted
And she was loved so much!
Just drove by the Goodman’s house earlier today (the Easter Bunny needed a couple of essentials from Creative Kids Stuff). Thinking of you all! Wishing you a nice Easter – wherever you may be!
I’m so sorry about that sweet child…completely and utterly heart-breaking. Please send my condolences and update us when you’re able.
Matt,
I am so sorry about Heather and Mike’s loss of sweet Maddie
I just started reading her blog though a link on your site, and instantly became attached to them as I am to you and your Maddie. I will definitely be making a donation to the March of Dimes in Maddie’s honour and wearing purple on Tuesday for that sweet little girl. I know Liz will watch over her and take her under her wing 
I hope you were still able to have a happy celebration today for Maddie’s birthday!! I hope you, Maddie and your families have a very HAPPY EASTER!!
Shannon, Alex and Caitlyn in British Columbia
What awfully sad news.
Sometimes it really does seem as if life hangs by the thinnest of threads. And so we must grab it with both hands — there’s just no other choice.
All best wishes to the Spohrs at this terribly difficult time.
Wow, such sad news.
My thoughts are with them. I can only imagine how heartbreaking it must be to lose a child.
Hey Matt, I wanted to let you know that I posted a link to Liz’s Foundation on my personal website…check it out: http://greatideasformoms.today.com/ (top boxes under the picture header). YAY! I am excited to get the word out about this fantastic foundation!
My heart is breaking.
I am so sorry for their loss. What a beautiful baby she is…:(
The world is missing her so much. I am so sorry that you and your Maddy will miss her so terribly too!
im lulu from indonesia
im so sad n proud when read bout u’r story…..
MADDY U’R SO UTE
We’ll be wearing purple today, to celebrate Maddie. I’m sorry for you and Maddy as well, friends are a hard thing to let go of.
Today was the date of her funeral, so so sad. My girls wore purple in honor of Maddie. They of course dont understand why, but I know, and maybe Maddie knows too.
Fuck death.
I was there yesterday, and i dont think the service could have been any more beautiful. That girl was loved beyond words. Heather is one of my best friends and all we need to do right now is embrace them. It was great to see you there as well, as you of all people understand the magnitude of it all.
HI, I saw you for the first time on Rachael Ray and then again on Oprah. I think what you are doing is amazing. If I could offer some suggestions. While everything is still amazingly fresh and second nature to you, write down as much about your wife as you possibly can think of. There will come a day when your daughter is older and she does some odd thing or has some fascination with something or dislike for something that she may wonder where she got from. I am sure you will always be open and willing to answer any questions from what you are already doing for her but the teenage years are hard for a girl, much harder emotionally than for a boy. She may not want to come to you with everything either because she doesnt want the attention or afraid of bringing up old feelings or any other number of reasons why. I loved what that father in the military did with writing it all down so his child can look through it and see it in his fathers handwriting whenever he chooses too. My father passed away when I was 2 and my mother spoke very little of him. I never felt comfortable going to my mom and asking her anyting about him and ultimately know very little (almost nothing) about him. It is a hard way to live not knowing such an important part of your very being. With the little bits of information I have (basically his military record & a few snapshots) I have found some answers to oh thats why I do that or like that or am good at that. It does bring some peace to a hard situation.
I was so moved by the photo’s and memories of your friends and their precious baby girl Maddie, that I had to sit and try to find words to describe just how deeply I was moved.. I thought I would share them with you..
Across the black velvet canvas of the midnight sky, it was there. A falling star…gliding thru the vastness of time, on toward eternity, leaving a trail of golden stardust in it’s wake. That was her time here on earth.. a twinkling. But now the sky seems so dark and empty without her.. the heart void of reason or understanding to explain away the pain and unquenchable sorrow. If God would grace us with an explanation… would any reason ever be good enough to satisfy our desperate desire to know WHY? Mesmerized by her photo’s and the sound of her cherub-like voice.. captivated by her deep and colorful eyes.. those eyes…Can the sea ever be quenched of the color blue as our lives are now left without those beautiful, heavenly , ocean blue eyes. Eyes that were rich in expression and shined forth love that could be felt the instant you saw them. Eyes that gave us a brief view of the angelic.. Those eyes… and that smile….. A smile like the sun itself, bright and warm and welcoming. And now the sun sinks lower beyond the horizon, out of view, just as her smile now leaves us for the moment.. but like the sun, it shines elsewhere just out of view.. leaving us to mourn in it’s shadow. And how dark and encompassing that shadow is.. vacant of comfort and absent of the hope we once knew. Souls scream out with the ripping and tearing of the heart, screaming for time to turn back, for events to rewind and replay yet again… crumbling to the floor in utter anguish for the arms that now cradle no one and the crib that lies empty..silent..no more. Can anyone fathom this pain? Can someone with such a powerful presence like sweet Maddie.. can they ever leave us without bitter longings.. no never. It is only now in the moving on that the reality is too raw to embrace. The waves of sorrow sweep over the familiar.. the echoes of sounds that once danced in the room, the special routines and bedtime stories refuse to silent themselves as over and over they remind us of the loss. Empty shoes, empty chairs, empty arms, empty …. what will fill them again.. only time. In time there will come acceptance and remembrance and joy.. yes joy.. will return when winter has released it’s icy grip and we allow the heart to long for spring. Madeline’s life will bring forth a garden of love and from this place, great healing will come as well. God has hidden the spiritual realms of this world from our earthly eyes, for if we were truly given the vision of God.. we would have seen the wings that would reveal the true identity of an angel among us… Madeline was and angel and will always remain so as your pictures have creatively captured. No words spoken can possibly touch the pain you now feel.. but the hand of God and timelessness of His love… can reach down into the broken heart and plant a seed of hope and restoration if you will only allow it. Heaven awaits. and how much richer it will be, now that Maddie is waiting there for you. Thank you for allowing your gift to be seen by all the world… we rejoice in her life and celebrate the thousands of memories you made together in such a short time.. She was a gift. She was and is deeply loved.. She lives on in your hearts… sending warm Aloha across the deep blue sea.. 1 hula girl…
Oh God, I saw this last week.
Helplessness. Overwhelming sadness.
I push love to them. And to you. It’s all I know to do.
This is heartbreaking. A friend put me onto your sight and amazing story yesterday. I like many others have become completely enveloped in your blogs and your amazing story. I am completely overwhelmed, I share in your grief, your laughter and your love. As do many others. I loved the beauty of life after such a tragic sudden end that brought about a most precious and wonderful beginning…..I love you and maddy’s story and I am hooked. My daughter is 4 now and I only hope I have been as wonderful to her as you are to your precious….You are in my prayers …..
I can not begin to imagine being in your shoes….or now … your friends Mike & Heather….Their precious angel of 17months ….gone :’-( …. I can’t handle it….and its not even me going through it….I am now reading both of your blogs….Sharing in every single real and raw emotion….I am here at work with my box of Kleenex …I will be on box 2 shortly….I like many others feel an overwhelming feeling to do something….although I know there is little I can do to comfort a broken heart….of a mother or father…. I wish I could just wrap my arms around each of you and say a prayer….pray for peace….compassion…..understanding….healing…..courage….and strength……God is truly watching over you….
In times of sadness I am not one who wants to hear all of the cliche remarks but I would like to tell you….WE care…and WE are here for you….all of you….
God Bless