was not my best day as a parent. and in the comments section of yesterday’s post, i heard from a ton of other parents about something called, “parent brain.”
well, i obviously suffer from parent brain. combine that with being widowed and you have an affliction called “widowed parent brain.”
that said…
i’m happy to report that this morning, i had a towel waiting for me in the bathroom, madeline did not tear apart my living room, and i managed to not lock her in the car.
but the real reason for this post is to remind you that today is the 7th of the month.
and you know what that means.
on the 7th of this month, i’m asking you to contribute to the the liz logelin foundation so that we can help combat the effects of widowed parent brain.
give to the the liz logelin foundation so that other widows/widowers can afford more bath towels.
give to the the liz logelin foundation so that other widows/widowers can afford locks for their dvd/cd shelves.
give to the the liz logelin foundation so that other widows/widowers can afford a few extra sets of house and car keys.
give to the the liz logelin foundation so that other widows/widowers can afford a membership to aaa.
finally, give to the the liz logelin foundation so that babies like madeline never have to sit in a locked car for 15 minutes, waiting for a guy with a slim jim to free them from captivity.
(disclaimer…you don’t necessarily have to donate $7 on the 7th. you could donate $23 on the 23rd, or $1 on the 1st or any amount any time you please. no amount is too small, and no amount is too big).
76 Comments
well since i just got a couple of overdraft fees reversed, i can spare some change
& with locking the locking maddy in the car thing – at least you’ll have a good story when she’s older, even if you were freaked at the time
Awesome job today…although I doubt that even if you had done something like you did yesterday…you are still a GREAT father!!!
Have a fabulous rest of your day!!
::awesomesauce:: and w00t
I already gave my $7 today!
You’re a fantastic father, Matt!
I’m still looking for that damn candy necklace bink link! GRR.
Done and done, I like to donate 21 bucks, the same amount I would spend a day on coffee if I didn’t have a maker at home.
Matt–donation sent. I will do all I can to donate every month, providing I can sell enough on ebay to keep my pay pal account above $0.
Glad this morning was better. 
I did something today that I’ve been meaning to do each time that I see you post this…. I gave my $7! I’ve added a note to myself in my planner to do this monthly now.
You’re doing great Matt. All parents have their days. (((Hugs)))
Momnesia is what I call it, and I suffer from it all the time! with twins and a 7 year old, I seem to foget that I even have a brain!
$7 on the 7th or more or less~ Done and Done! Always~
For that widow or widower’s world that has been turned upside down~
made my first donation today and it’s no nice to be able to help! i’ll be back again next month! it’s such a great thing you’re doing for others, and more importantly, to honor liz!
glad to hear you’re on the up and up today….the trouble with “parent brain” is when it strikes, it’s a repeat offender the ENTIRE day! there really should be a pill you can take for that! : )
Well since Im currently living the “single momma poor” I cant donate this month:( However, I can remind the entire world that its the 7th thanks to twitter!
Ps-this whole twitter addiction started because of YOU mister. Lol it started just keeping track of your blog….and then mssinglemomma…and then modernsinglemomma…..and know Ima twittering blog addicted mommy blogger! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU Matt! I had forgotten how much I love to write!
Take care!
Great morning!
Have a fabulous afternoon, evening, night!
So glad that today went better!
Making my first donation today. Don’t tell my university – grants are for school. But I have SO much extra..
Glad to hear your day started much better than yesterday. Thank you for the reminder- Donation: done!
Great to see your week is looking up!
You are a great father and Madeline is thriving because of you!
Amy from Louisville in the KY
WOOT! Here’s to a smashingly successful $7 on the 7th ~
I expect the same thing will happen for me one day.. when i have kids. and when that day comes.. i will smile and think of your experience, and then save my child
Skipping my usual green tea latte for the love of liz!
Great for my hips and great for the liz foundation!
Glad to hear you had a much better day, sorry to say though, there are many more of these to come, welcome to parenthood!
Love to m + m
p.s You’re doing a great job! (for maddy and liz)
Glad you had so many comment yesterday telling you this is a normal rite of passage of being a parent.. it happens to all of us on one level or another.
i don’t know if i ask you or maybe paypal…how do i setup a monthly payment automatically?? any ideas??
Yeah. We’re fucked up alright.
I hope you get alot of $7 today. I will go add one
I agree that there will always be crazy days where it seems nothing goes right. You are doing great. We all have parent brain. Some, like me, have it daily. Don’t fret, you are doing an awesome job!
At 16 months out, I’d love to tell you that the “widowed brain” gets better …. but alas, that has not been my case.
Which is one of the reasons that it’s 2:00 in the afternoon and I am still in my pjs. My widowed brain needed a mental health day today ….. before I purposefully locked someone in the car!
Glad your day has gone better, Matt.
Janine
‘Parent brain.’ That figures.
Finally, though, this singleparenthood and widowhood combine to give you a chronic lack of sleep which can drag you down.
There’s a lot on your plate and maybe you need to get some decent shuteye sometimes. Just a thought — which of course I always ignored myself, but it’s still a thought. I think.
Donation complete! I donated twice – once for each of my daughters.
You and Maddy are amazing…never forget that, even during the hardest moments.
Not going out to lunch today so I am passing on my $7 to the Liz foundation. You are an amazing father and Maddy is lucky to have you. I am glad I could contribute to your helping other amazing parents like you. Thank you for all you do.
Donation complete and happy to do so.
Question: the garden of awesome and robot shirts, do the proceeds from those go to the foundation as well?
Done!
Also thanks for the monthly reminders. With out them, I’d always forget! lol
done.
parent brain doesn’t get any clearer per se, but it definitely gets funnier. you’ll start laughing at your parent brain as it grows and takes over your ‘i used to be cool’ brain.
I suffer from parent brain everyday! I’m lucky if I can remember my name most of the time!
Thanks for the reminder. I donate every month, but this month is in honor of Auntie Deb. You are doing a great job. At least you didn’t lock Madeline in the car in Minnesota in January. It has been done, just ask my brother-in-law.
Best $7 I’ve spent all week!
i think we have all suffered from parent brain on more then one occasion, for example took our daughter to seaworld last week transferred everything into a bookbag from her diaper bag, i mean everything teething toys, oragel, extra clothes, everything excpet…. DIAPERS.. i felt so horrible.. fuck.. no other babies around were her size.. definitly felt like shit but it happens.. I will be donating on the 15th when we get paid next.. Awesome foundation btw. Especially my husband being in the military i have met so many widdows and widdowers that need that kind of help.
Planning to make my first donation today. Have to deposit some money in the ol’ bank account first.
Parent brain is so true. It’s a good thing my kiddos are old enough now to know that mommy suffers from this affliction!
Parent brain… just wait until she discovers the toilet brush! Blech!
Don’t be so hard on yourself…we all get ‘parent brain’ at one time or another. I can admit to it daily! Donated for the first time today, $7 x 4 for everyone in my family….now off to do the same for Maddie Spohr!
I’ve been meaning to donate every time you post, but I didn’t have a PayPal account…until a few weeks ago! So I made my first $7 donation…and it won’t be the last. You’re doing an amazing thing Matt. I have so much respect and admiration for you. No one would blame you for locking yourself in your house and never facing the world again, but you didn’t do that. You’ve brought out something positive to help others. You’re an inspiration…and a fabulous father (even WITH the car incident!…heck, my mom lost me in a clothing store when I was like three, so there ya go!). Maddie is a doll and I love to see all the new pictures. Keep ‘em coming and take care!
)
Done!
And a funny story about parent brain – though this is more newborn twins parent brain. I was staying with my sister for most of the first year because she was sick. My brother in law and I got up in shifts.
I got up with my nephew when he was crying in the wee hours, and took him into the living room. My sister heard his cries and went to him, leaned over the crib and held what she thought was my nephew and took him into the living room ready to give me shit for not waking up. She walked into the room cradling her breast and looked at me holding her son and was totally confused for about 2 minutes.
Then she let go of her breast and went back into her room and back to sleep without a word. The next morning she took quite a teasing.
She also went to the store with them in her minivan. She didnt lock them in, but forgot to slide the doors closed. The kids were all strapped in, but it took her until she was on the highway and people were looking at her funny when she realized that it was a bit windy in the car.
Matt,
What a beautiful picture of Maddy! Just gorgeous. A new favorite of mine.
Beki
“parent brain”
my adult children just call me nutso- this is what you become after years of parent brain-
I am doing $5 on the 5th- wish there was a way to make it automatic so I can just put it out of my head. Any idea if this is possible?
Made my donation last night, excellent cause.
Love how Maddy’s dress matches the tiles
Making my check out right now!
Just so you know you aren’t alone, one night I went to get my 1 year old when he woke up crying and soaked at 12 a.m. Being a nurse my first thought was “How could he have generated that much pee in 4 hours??” Well, the reason he was soaked is because my husband was trying to be nice and put him to bed…without a diaper on
.
what he {singleparentdad} said.
I’m glad today was better for you, and madeline.
there is a really cool security system you can get for cars that you can call a toll-free phone number, enter your vehicles code and they will unlock your doors for you… I have no idea what security system this is… but its out there. IF you were wondering.
:]
I think about your family daily
Matt reading your blogs makes my days brighter. I made my first $7 donation today and will continue to do so on the 7th of every month. Much love to you and Maddie who is such a beautiful girl and I know will grow up to be an amazing woman because of you.
Matt and Madeline ~you two are amazing! Lovin’ your style of writing and enjoying seeing pictures of sweet Maddy growing up. In response to “Bri’s” question about the candy necklace pacifier clip…. several weeks ago I searched and finally found it… http://www.stunique.com/product.aspx?pid=342
Matt, I’ve never commented on here before and not sure if you will read this, but I think your awesome, Maddy is beautiful and the spitting image of her mom. I’m sure Liz is looking down on you smiling with love at how well the 2 of you are doing. Maddy is so very lucky and blessed to have you in her life.
@Cinnie1016
i read each and every comment…
What a fun day you had.
I hate the widow brain. It still effects me which is scary. Time is also my worst enemy. I can’t seem to judge how long things take and end up super early or super late to everything.
I am so relieved to hear that today went a little better =)
I just started reading your blog not too long ago, and donated yesterday for the first time. I hope to help out whenever I can. I think you are doing a wonderful thing by trying to help out other widowers. Much love to you and your adorable daughter. She is lucky to have such a wonderful father.
We gave what we could, and if I don’t get parent brain today I will post a link on my blog, too. Klaus sends his love
they are so close in age, and they look so much alike! (Well, the blondeness blueeyedness anyway) He always points to her pictures when I show him the blog. Too sweet.
Happy (early) Mother’s Day, Matt. You are doing the best job of making sure Madeline’s Mommy is remembered, honored, cherished and loved. Good Job!
I hadn’t head of Liz’s foundation, I was directed to your blog from Suburban Bliss. I wish something like that had been around when my mom was widowed. I know it would have helped her.
It’s a very beautiful thing that you are doing, helping these people. I’m glas that I found you. Consider me a contributor.
happy mothers day to you, matt. not a role you took by choice but one you are filling, nonetheless.
Happy Mother’s Day Matt. Be good to yourself today.
Happy Mother’s Day Matt….to the best “Mom”/Dad around!!
You have done an amazing job with Maddie (I know, I have said it before, but it’s true!!) and with continuing to honour her Mommy’s memory and legacy!! She truly is a lucky girl, and I know Liz is smiling away, so proud of the two of you and having Happy Mother’s Day watching the two of you along your journey!! 
You have definitely made the best of a shitty situation!! 
Speaking as a girl raised for many years by her dad – alone… Happy Mother’s Day – You are doing a wonderful job with her and one day she will look back and know how very much you loved her Mother!
I tend to think that Mothers Day is a nice time to reflect on wonderful women in our lives. Perhaps in the past year, you have learned about different dimensions to those women and relearned how much you love another and seen the love you hold for the smallest woman in your life. Been thinking about you three all day long. Liz would most likely love this day and deserves to be here. I am so sorry that she isn’t. But, I am sure that you know how amazing of a monther she would be. Rambling on . . . . Love to you guys!
Happy Mother’s Day Matt! I was talking with a friend today and we were discussing grief. Grief is so apparent and acute when the initial “injury” happens. People forget how with each passing milestone or event, either obvious or not so obvious, grief sneaks right back in and grabs you by the (fill in the body part here) and doesn’t let go for a while. I’m sorry you are celebrating Mother’s Day without Liz. You are an amazing dad.
Sending you peace and light,
Nena and Reese
Hope you had a good mother’s day
Sounds a little like my chemo brain. Can’t seem to remember anything these days. I remember the feeling when my kids were really young. It gets better
http://sprucehill.typepad.com/
Thinking of you on Mother’s Day, Matt. I hope it wasn’t as awful as it could be.
Hey Matt, didn’t want to scare ya yesterday. But noticed you having Brunch, hope it was a nice one. Maddy is even more beautiful in real life than in her pictures.
Was thinking about you two yesterday. Hope your day was ok. Keep hanging in there, you’re doing great.
i thought of you on mother’s day and hoped that it was a sweet, although probably painful, day for you. liz continues to mother as long as you keep her memory alive. maddie will grow up knowing how much she was loved by her mommy. it’s every child’s dream. and she’s living her dream of being exquisitly loved by her daddy.
remember 1 cor 13. . . and the greatest of these is love.
ugh, I’m totally suffering from parent brain tonight, fortunately it’s temporary and tomorrow is just an hour or so away!
I’m not creepy I swear. Okay maybe a little but just in the “cool” way.
Anyways, I just wanted to say that I had a dream about you guys. For some reason I came to visit you at your house (I’m a nanny so maybe that was why?) and you were in the shower but Maddy was out in the living room and let me in. Yet she was still a baby. So I played with her till you got out. But you didn’t know I was there and were freaked out that I was playing with your baby. (Don’t blame you!)
I ended up leaving but you called me on my house phone in my car. We ended up hanging out and I became Maddy’s nanny. It was VERY weird.
Umm… have a good day.
It took me a little over a week, but I finally read every single post on this blog. I could’ve finished much sooner if I hadn’t been forced to stop every few posts when tears rolled down my face. My daughters thought I’d lost it. My husband was pretty sure it was time to lock me up in one of those nice ‘spas’. Then I explained the ‘WHY’ to them. I showed them your gorgeous wife’s pictures. I explained what happened. I introduced them to Maddy and to you. Matt, you are amazing. Truly incredible. Yeah I know ur not fucking perfect. No one is. But you’re a great dad and I am certain that Liz is smiling on both of you every single day. I’m gonna keep following ur life. The love you feel for your daughter just seeps right out of the photos. And, I see a lot of Liz in her too. Btw…I say fuck and just curse in general alot as well. LOL Keep up the great work!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
i love love love that pic of sweet Madeline. Beautiful works of art, both her and your photography!
Shit I am freaking out….Heather and Mike are not doing well. Nothing we do or say will help their grief. It is this deep tunnel you work your way through and it is not always light at the end either…God my heart is really broken this morning reading her last two entries….
this was hilarious
I think I suffer from chronic parent brain.
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