just look at that happy child with her new favorite toy.
she loves that thing.
that toy looks harmless, right?
it’s not.
that toy is scary.
that toy is demonic.
that toy is going to disappear.
why?
well…
10:30, tuesday night.
maddy was asleep in her crib in the room furthest from where i was sitting.
three closed doors separated me from my daughter.
i was on a work-related conference call with our team in bangalore.
i was wearing a headset to listen in on the call and the tv was on.
in the middle of my call, i heard something. was it a cry? i didn’t know. i said to shreyas and mythri, “hey guys…give me a second. i need to check on madeline.”
so with them still on the phone, i opened up one door, walked through my office, opened another door and entered the dark hallway leading to maddy’s room. the sound got louder with each step. and i could now tell that it was crying. in fact, it wasn’t madeline at all (i sorta know most of her sounds now). forgetting that i was still on the line with my coworkers, i said out loud to myself, “what the fuck?” they laughed. they’re used to my language by now.
i put my hand on the door knob. but that noise…it scared me. so i turned around and turned on the light in the hallway (didn’t want to wake maddy up by turning on the light in her room).
hand back on the door knob, i opened the door and walked into the room.
the floor was vibrating (wtf?) and i heard the most maniacal laughter. ever.
okay. i was officially scared as fuck. i looked toward the crib and in the dark of the room, i couldn’t see madeline.
and then this giant wave of fear hit me…
someone had stolen my baby and replaced her with some loud thing to call my attention to this fact.
i imagined some sort of ransom note being attached to this thing.
something like, “we have your daughter” spelled out with a bunch of random, mismatched letters cut from magazines.
yeah.
i really thought that.
i felt like i was in some horror film.
my heart was racing, i was sweating, and i said “what the fuck?” a few more times.
and then i decided to turn on the light in maddy’s room.
i had to know what the hell was making this noise, and i had to see if the baby stealers had left behind any evidence (ski masks, cigarette butt with dna).
and why the hell was my floor vibrating?
i flipped on the light, and there was madeline, somewhat covered in stuffed animals, curled up against the front of the crib.
kinda like this:
(this photo was taken the morning after the scare).
the amazing thing?
her head was on top of this white stuffed animal.
i reached in to pull it out from under her, only to discover that it was the source of the noise.
and the vibration.
i lifted her head and pulled the animal out of her crib.
it stopped vibrating and making noise.
(apparently it was pressure-activated).
i turned off the light in her room, closed her door, and walked toward the living room.
my coworkers, still on the phone, were laughing at me.
shreyas said, “have you seen child’s play? that thing sounded like a chucky doll”
he was right.
i haven’t been that scared in a very long time.
now. i know my child is a champion sleeper, but i have no idea how the hell she slept through this whole episode. i mean, that toy was so loud i could hear it through three closed doors, over the tv, and over my phone call.
plus it was vibrating hard shake the floor outside of her room.
i was amazed.
and still a little scared.
at this point i bet you’re thinking, it couldn’t have been that bad.
it was.
(now keep in mind, i had never, ever heard this toy go off before and i have no idea how it got into my house).
the next morning i took a little video of this stupid thing.
you tell me…would this have scared you?
(and did you hear that thing say, “no” right after i said, “maddy…can we throw that away?” it is truly demonic).
**update**
i now know who bought this for madeline…
thanks, mom.
269 Comments
Okay, you’re right – it sounds totally evil. Sorry that it scared the shit out of you, but thanks for posting this and making me laugh!
lol wow. I would throw it out. Maddie looks so big in the first pic! She is a big girl!
Scary bunny/thing!!! Cutest baby!
Seriously creepy, My brother had this robot named buddy when he was a kid, it would say stuff like Be my friend and shit.. I still have nightmares about that thing..
I have a doll that laughs in a similar way… my husband made me lock it in the living room closet because it creeps him out…
LOL IRL
It not only sounds demonic, but it doesn’t look all that friendly either! That would have totally scared the shit out of me, and I can sit through and horror movie with no problem! I hope you did get rid of it.
Sorry Matt! I’m laughing as I read this! I can only imagine the panic you must have felt!!
That toy does seem to have a mind of it’s own though…and I think I agree with you…it’s demonic, especially the way it tells you no when you ask to throw it out! I would be very careful where you dispose of it!! 
“NO”… ewww… get rid of it… in another city! that would’ve also scared the crap out of me!
Holy crap! Throw it OUT! Really. It says “no!” every time you ask if you should. Burn it maybe first.
p.s. Once, when I was working in a library I read the first book of the Left Behind series. It’s crap, but whatever. When I went into my oldest’s room to check on her after reading it I didn’t see her right away and seriously thought she’d been raptured.
And I don’t even believe in that!
holy shit, that sounds absolutely terrifying! i got creeped out just watching the second video. why is he saying “no”??? why does he laugh like a convicted sex offender?!
and YES throw it away!! i had a cabbage patch kid that i was convinced was possessed when i was little, and i was forced to keep it because it was a gift – it gave me nightmares for years! save maddie while she still doesn’t resent you for her scary toys! hahaha
I heard it-hilarious! My friend had a toy that would yell, “What’s different?” every thirty seconds all the time. At the middle of the night, she would come downstairs and hear Winne the Pooh saying, “What’s Different?” Scared the living daylights out of her.
I have to admit Matt, that thing is pretty creepy, lol
But Madeline seems to love it so much!
Really really creepy…. I would throw it out too – or maybe give it to someone I really dont like lol
LOL
Okay yeah… that thing needs to die. Putting it in the trash is too easy. Ripping it apart first might be in order. If you don’t it may come back in the house and really freak the fuck out of you.
I gotta say, that toy looks a little freakazoid-esqse…I can’t say I’d blame you for chucking it.
I had a similar experience with a noise making toy once–going to check on the baby and stepping on the toy. Noise making toy scared the shit out of me, I screamed, I woke up the baby and the baby screamed…let’s just say it did NOT end well and no one got enough sleep that night.
Yeah, get rid of it!
Ugh, we’ve had a few of those types of toys. They always manage to get “lost” somehow.
Wow that is very evil sounding and I totally heard the “no”. I’m glad Maya doesn’t have any toys that make noise like that.
Just a note: Get rid of that toy now…Maddy is at the age where she will soon develop a “lovie” and you so don’t want it to be this. I have some horror stories from other parents whose children had to take evil singing/dancing/moving/battery sucking toys everywhere and would melt down if said toy was not always with them….that is one creepy bunny? Sheep? Fuzzy blob? Trust your instincts on this, my friend.
we have a bug that makes strange noises too. I goes off at random times. It doesn’t even have to be touched to make noises. Good luck!
I would throw it out. Way too freaky. I can’t believe she slept through that!
This post would be absolutely hilarious except for how scared you were that someone had taken Maddy.
But, no, it was just Demon Bunny. Get rid of it, Matt, that thing is straight out of a horror movie! Seriously, what toy says “No” at just the right moment in a conversation???? It must be more than coincidence….
Oh, P.S. WHAT HAPPENED IN NYC?!?!? (Patience is sooo not one of my virtues.)
Hearing you tell this story after seeing the video had me LMAO! My 5 yo had an Elmo toy that used to go off in the closet by itself in the middle of the night. Freaky as all get out! So,have you thrown it out yet?
Freaky! That thing did say NO! My puppy heard it over my laptop and was scared…throw it out!
Oh man..that toy is creepy. That reminds me of a doll I had when I was younger that was remote control activated, and it started moving and walking EVERYTIME someone on our block used their remote garage door opener. You’ve never been scared until your doll starts walking around at 4:00 a.m.
So flippin funny (sorry you were scared, but that is hilarious!)! The “no” at the end…get rid of it, NOW!
That toy sounds so evil!
I had a doll that sounded just like that with electric blue eyes to boot…that thing gave me terrible nightmared
I laughed my ass off at that last video – esp the no from the stuffed animal! That is the freakiest toy! And how did that not wake Maddy up???? I’d throw it away.
I also love that your Indian co-workers are familiar w/ Child’s Play!
WHOA, that is freaky! I would have flipped out!!!!!
Oh, toys can totally scare the crap out of you late at night. I had a somewhat similar experience not to long ago: http://www.myownpartyof5.com/2009/04/that-just-shaved-few-years-off-my-life.html
Luckily this toy didn’t sound nearly as evil as that white toy does! It’d be going in the trash here too!
I love that your mind immediately went to demented kidnappers. That so would have been my first thought, as well. I would have peed myself in fear.
Who the hell made that thing? Yes, get over it, this Christian Queen curses when I see toys that are just frickin’ scary EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!
Holy crap that toy is scary!
Be careful throwing it away…it might come back! Freaky toys always do that in the movies!
that is so hilarious. my daughter has some crazy circus girl toy that makes animal noises – lions, elephants, whatever. It’s truly scary and so loud and completely freakish. Why do these companies make these things for kids? I love how much Maddy loves it.
Kris with the firsties!! YAY!!
That is the creepiest fucking toy – EVER!! it sooo said NO right at YOU!
Holy Crap! I’m sitting in my office alone watching this & now I’m scared cuz I keep hearing that stupid thing talk. If you haven’t gotten rid of that thing already do it soon!
Just imagine years from now, Maddie won’t remember a damn thing, but she’ll remember you throwing away her “talking stuffed animal”. LOL!
Demon Bunny is the perfect name for it. Think clown from Poltergeist, nothing good can come from having that thing in your home.
dude! you get to use the BEST LINE EVER now!
“Why did you throw that toy out Daddy? But I loved him. ”
“Because I am the parent, and you are one. And because I said so. ” Eff yea.
That was hillarious! I say let the robot take care of that bunny!!
OMGoodness! That was hilarious! I’ve been scared by many toys, over the years. And I totally heard it say “no” at the end!
what the fuck indeed! and maddy looks so much like her mum in that first photo. thought i would say that. have fun trying to pry it out of her hands.
creepy but pretty funny that it scares a grown man! is that supposed to be a sheep? where did it come from?
Sell it on eBay as a haunted toy!! Do a search on there and check out some of the things going up for bids. People pay big bucks for that kind of thing!! LOL
Haha!! We have a couple of scary toys as well – too funny! : )
The story written out was enough to make me laugh out loud (and also relate as a parent to young girls with attachments to bunny toys) but to see the video proof of it’s totally freakish scariness to go along with it – Priceless!!! I can’t believe that someone would make a toy that sounds that creepy and says “no!” Definitely one for the garbage can! (Maybe put a post-it note on the garbage can to warn the garbage man though!)
I hate that toy! Get rid of it, she’ll never know.
Your daughter should get prizes for her ability to sleep. We tried to have a kid like that, and we’ve done pretty good, but that takes the cake.
Aren’t grandma’s the best?
My MIL got a M a possessed bee.
Haha! My son had a BOOK that used to go off randomly like that. It said “Elmo’s Not Sleepy!” Also, the cow’s door from the fisher price farm would randomly moooooooo in the middle of the night. Always at night of course!
Holy shit, that thing is evil! Who would even make that?
Ok, that toy has to disappear and soon! I would have been scared as shit myself!!!
that was hilarious… my husband and i totally agree with you! get it out of your house as soon as she lets go of it!
I love right when you say can we throw it away it says no then Maddy just smiles! Too cute!!!
That thing is seriously creepy!
I worked in the mall during college, and at night would have to walk past the little coin machine rides. There was one ride that made this creepy children laughing sound when you passed & it scared the piss out of me every night! If I were you I would “accidentally” misplace it… WHOOPS.
We once had a demonic squirrel (or maybe it was a rabbit, I’ve tried to block the memory) It used to make sounds in the middle of the night, while in the toybox. Creepy.
Give it a battery-ectomy.
sorry that toy scared you. I just about pissed myself laughing. we have a few that sound like that. change the batteries that tends to help.
That is the scariest fucking thing ever! I hope you threw it out… (sorry Matt’s mom)
That thing creeps me out more than my sister’s old doll that used to say “see you later” whenever someone would walk by it (whether it was on or not)
Thank you for a good laugh!
She so just so CUTE! And that toy! Yeah! Give it to the trash man!
Your mom? What was she thinking when she bought it? That thing would creep me out too, lol
Oh, that thing would have sent me over the edge, too! I HATE toys that do those things. My husband’s family loves to buy that crap – we have this cute little white bear that seems harmless, but when it is squeezed it has this roar that sounds like the abominable snowman from the Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer special.
Get that shit out of your house (and your baby’s crib)! Freaky. We don’t allow much that makes noise unless it’s a musical instrument. Grandparents can be the worst offenders when it comes to taste in toys. You will have your chance in 30 years.
But Madeline is sure cute.
I found it! It’s the rabbit. It was eeeeevvviiiiillll.
The chime was annoying too.
Peaceful Planet, my ass.
Sorry for the mulitple posts. I meant to include a link – so you can avoid these too
http://www.aliviastoys.com/fisherpriceplush/fisherpricepeacefulplanet.html
Hope you DID CHUCK IT! Man, creepy or what?? Can just imagine my reaction if that noise was coming from my daughters bedroom! Good riddance but thanks Mom
hahahaa! that was hilarious! c’mon, you can laugh now..right? man, maddie sleeps like a rock, nothing fazes her. so cool.
I am frickin peeing in my pants. Thanks, I needed that after being locked in with two sick 14 month olds all week! ALWAYS comes from the grandma…that is all I am saying!
You’re such a great daddy!!! Happy early Father’s Day! Maddy is so lucky to have such an amazing father. Enjoy her as much as you can and keep video taping her for she will love it when she gets older. My heart goes out to you!
Ugh! That is the ugliest sounding toy! How could that sweet daughter of yours be enthralled by that??? So good to meet you two last night…hours before the demonic toy.
That thing is scary and wow she must be a super sleeper to sleep through that going off. Us parents seem to have super hearing though. I swear I can hear my son when others can’t.
Thank you for that post. I am laughing so hard right now. Mainly because I understand how you could be so scared of what the heck it was. Had that been me, I may have called 911 first.
That is one creepy fucking toy! “NO!” loud and clear! Now, the really scary thing would be if it ended up back in your house AFTER you threw it away. Let us know if that happens huh…lol! Creepy!
Ha! We’ve had possessed toys in our house before. Just the other night I had to throw away a Buzz Lightyear toy because it had found its way in to the bathtub and then randomly started to go off, either making “laser” sounds or saying, “Buzz Lightyear to the rescue!” over.and.over again. Fun in the bath tub. Not so fun at midnight when you’re home alone. So, yeah, I know the feeling! When their batteries start to die out or they get stuck against something, it’s kind of scary!
Anyway, I’m glad you escaped the Crazy White Bunny!
WHEN is the NYC post coming? I hope SOON!
Bwaaahaa haaa haaa!
Maybe just take the batteries out and give it away? It’s cute to look at.
Hysterical. Find the batteries and remove them. That’s what I use to do.
Oh, I just want to cuddle Madeline, she is so very adorable. And it’s wonderful to hear her voice and her laugh. You have a beautiful daughter, Matt. And definitely, get rid of the toy!
I would throw it in your fireplace. Too spooky that it said “No” and at just the right moment. Or tell Madeline it needs a bath and wash it in holy water.
What IS that thing anyway? its like a leprechaun/bunny/tickle me elmo from hell!! pretty impressive that she slept through that tho!
there’s a book called Lunar Park, by Bret Easton Ellis, in which there is a demonic toy named Terby which could be this bunny’s best pal. Funny that we adults are scared of such things but our kids are immune.
Oh Matt, yes I hate toys that make noise in the middle of the night. Wait until she has something in the toy box and you can’t quite find it because it’s under a mound of other toys and those toys are setting off the toy that makes sound! Good job Dad! Btw, did you throw it away?
Bethany in MI
PS I did hear it tell you no to throwing it away!
we used to have a “big bird” stuffie that said “peek a boo” every time the light changed, it was so sensitive. Shadows or walking by it would set the freaking thing off.
It totally said “NO”! Throw it out now!! Don’t wait till Tuesday!!
LOL! that is so funny! My kids always end up with the freakish toys too! That thing would scare the bejesus out of me too!!
Ack! Horrid! I agree with the suggestion to destroy it before throwing it away. And I must admit, I laughed hardest at the update. What did you do to piss off your mom?
creeeepy. whats with the random “no!” ?
we had a tickle-me-elmo that went off everytime it thunderstormed. we trashed it.
keep the toy and pull it out when you want to creep people out. unless it starts to laugh when it thunders outside. in that case – TOSS!
I love how she laughs at you when you ask if you can throw it away. She’s too freaking cute! I keep looking at the pics at the top and am always amazed at how gorgeous your daughter is!
But yeah, that thing is demonic. I’d have thrown it away already!
Freaky toy!
Your daughter is so adorable though! I had to watch the video again just to see her grin! So Cute!
OMG freaky. My daughter had a clown blanket thing, imagine a small blanket with a clown head attached to it in the middle. It had a laugh similar to that evil thing. Yeah, it went away.
OMG, did it seriously say “no” or did you find a way to voice-over that thing? It, so totally did say “no” one way or the other. There are MANY toys that disappear in our house. I don’t buy toys, very rarely, it’s almost always grandma! They mean well. The second video is kinda funny too because it almost looks like witness protection with your little M all shaded out, in the dim lighting. Ha!
man i hate that toy too! may it burn in hell!
OMG I thought I was going crazy when I heard it say “no” right after you said you were throwing it away…I swear to God I didn’t read your caption until after! Freaky timing!!!
And you can’t get rid of it…it’s too funny a story now.
What a great story
So glad you guys are doing well. Madeline is soooooooo cute! I can’t believe how big she is now. Take care!
OMG… Im sorry but that was hilarious… its ALIVE I tell ya… Amazing how it said NO right at the exact moment
LMAO! That thing is scary! And yes, I heard it say no. OMG…have you chucked it yet?
Oh my goodness! I was giggling cautiously when I read the tale. It was a little too creepy to laugh whole-heartedly about, right?
Then I read your update.
And laughed so hard I had tears! It’s not any less creepy because it is from Grandma, but it is a whole lot funnier!
Tell your mom I said thanks for the laugh.
That is hysterical that it said “no” – I have heard laughs like this from toys and would not have them in my house either…get rid of that thing!
ha!
Sorry, I had to laugh. Someone bought our youngest one of those toy weedeaters for Christmas one year. It sounded like a chain saw and had a light bar that whirled around inside the weedeater end. We were awakened at 3 am to this horrible noise. I immediately thought Chainsaw Massacre was going to repeated in my house that very night.
We opened our bedroom door and all you see was the whirling lights and hear the horrid noise. It was coming toward us and I yelped. Then out of the blue you hear our youngest giggling up a storm. Apparently scaring parents at 3 in the morning is hilarious. It cracks us up now… but at the time we “hated” that toy. LOL
Cece
Why do kids sleep on their knees?! My daughter does it too. It looks really uncomfortable…Sorry about your demonic bunny. We got a “praying” bear once that recited “now I lay me down to sleep” in this weird, robotic voice. We tossed it immediately.
It said “no”. That is scary. You can’t throw it away. You have to rip it into pieces so it doesn’t find its way back to your house. Scary, I know but seriously, that thing is possessed.
We had a Cookie Monster toy that would go off randomly at night. I almost wet myself the night I was sitting alone in a dark room watching TV and he started laughing and saying “I NEED COOKIE!” Oh, yeah, that toy was in the trash the next day.
Maddy’s toy is really, really freaky. It’s funny to think that your mom thought, “OH, this would be perfect for her!”
Uhm, now would not be a good time for you to watch the original Changeling movie. Throw that out in another city. Mail it somewhere with no return address! Oh and don’t buy her a bouncy red ball.
Now I’m scared of the big talking Tigger we have. He and I are old friends though. He road shotgun in my car when my husband was deployed.
Love your blog as usual.
that laugh sounds like the puppets laugh on the movie ‘saw’…freaky…..
I see that Maddy speaks the same language as my 15m old.
That toy would be in the garbage.. that night!
OMG…we have a bunny like that. It is LOUD and vibrates hard.
We didn’t have evil toys- just an evil coffee table. After it jumped out and bit my brother on the forehead I told my Mom, oh I love that table, I will take it. Then it grabbed and hit my then 4 year old on the forehead. I told the man of the house to GET RID OF THE EVIL TABLE- next thing I know he is chopping it up with an ax and feeding it to the bonfire.
dude, you’re driving me fucking crazy…where is the nyc post?? i think you like this shit a little too much…knowing you are keeping thousands of us in suspense. aaaahhhhh!
Anybody remember Furby? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Furby
My GF’s daughter had one that once told her to “Turn Out the Light” after she’d tucked her daughter into bed. She was totally wigged out.
Ha ha ha! My mother in law got something just like that for Bridget. I don’t know why she wasn’t scared of it either. Luckily she didn’t get attached to it either. Come to think of it, I don’t even know where it is…
My sister had a bear that spoke, we thought it was possessed because even with the batteries out it spoke, It’s words: “he he he”, “I love you!” and “hug me again” (didn’t hug it the first time). Hated the thing!!! (worse than the speaking barney she had!)
Holy crap, that thing IS scary. Hope it’s gone by now…
I have not commented in a while, but had to click through to comment on this one!
First of all, that photo of her at the top is beautiful. I can’t believe how much she has grown lately… she is really a “little girl” now (vs. a baby). She is gorgeous!
Secondly, this whole post is hilarious. Loved it. And yes, that thing is scary.
Love Maddy’s laugh… Sooo – is the creepy toy in the trash?
that would be in the garbage right now if it was in my house. i dont care who gave it to my kid. the only way it would possibly stay in the house is if the batteries were taken out.
all I can say is, L-O-L
“and then this giant wave of fear hit me…
someone had stolen my baby and replaced her with some loud thing to call my attention to this fact.
i imagined some sort of ransom note being attached to this thing.”
The fact that you admitted the above neurosis is what makes you so great!
PS You should look into voice-over work.
Give it to the Lakers…lol:D
Ok, that thing is terrifying. If I had been home alone with it, I might have grabbed the baby and the dog and gotten in the car just to get away from it. So, it was garbage day, did you toss the evil little thing? Btw, your mom must not be scared of anything!
Matt OMG!! That toy is soooooo freaky!! I am not sure if you or anyone above caught on or not but I could have sworn that when you mentioned in the video to maddy about throwing it away. I heard that thing say “NO”. Watch the video again & paying close attention ( time on video to the 00:10 ) you will see ( hear ) what I mean. SCARY!!!
It TOTALLY said no. Don’t just toss it. Please, for the sake of all that is holy, BURN it. Maybe drive a stake through its heart first?
Good thing toddlers have little sense of object permanence.
If you hate that creepy thing, then do everything you can to avoid any version of Tickle Me Elmo. Consider yourself warned.
That thing is possessed… You might need a priest to come over to bless the house after that thing gets thrown into the garbage! Scariest toy ever! Hilarious story though.
Wow, so scary!! Be careful, when you throw it away it may be sitting on your front steps the next morning. Or worse yet, it’ll be laughing outside your door in the middle of the night! What a story.
oh yes it definitely said no! ha ha ha creepy but a cute story none the less.
hilarious. Poor you! She is adorable and I love those skull and cross bones socks!
First, I agree…that thing would have to go. Second, my mom also was the queen of buying horrible, noise-making, vibrating, really creepy and weird toys like that until I told her absolutely NOTHING more that requires batteries, haha. Third, Maddy is simply adorable in those videos. Just precious!
wow. that thing’s seriously scary. why does it only say no?
maddy is looking like such a big girl!
(although not big enough to combat that evil.)
Oh my god!That thing is sooo fucking creepy!Get rid of it pronto!! Maddy is so adorable!I can’t believe how big she is getting!She looks so much like liz.You are a wonderful fater Matt.
Peace and love
Lol. Matt, I hate that thing too. I can HEAR in your voice how uncomfortable and freaked out you were. Its okay, I got scared too. What is that? A fucking evil rabbit?
Oh my gosh.. I thought I was just hearing things when it said “yes”.. LOL. I can’t believe she slept thru that..
ooopss. I meant when it said “no”.. its late.. why is it saying no anyway.. that is really weird
I was once playing dress up with a little girl and her very expensive talking doll. I swear to god the doll told me to undress her…like all of a sudden she turned into a seductress. It was only me and the two year old as witnesses. I told the girl’s mother, who said that it wasn’t in the doll’s vocabulary to tell me that. But I swear she did. If I ever have kids, I won’t have talking dolls or stuffed animals in my house. They scare me.
Fucking hilarious Matt! And love that your mom was the one who got it, hahaha! That thing is creepy as hell! And the “no” in the middle of the laughter…seriously wtf?! haha
WOW! She can truley sleep through anything!! I laughed so hard with this story. Sorry I know you were very terrified when it happened. My daughter has scared me before like that. Through her monitor one night I heard some old lady creepy voice singing to her. Totally freaked me out and I’m am such a wuss! My husband was at work too that night. So it was just me and Lilly.
So I headed up to her room expecting to run into either A) some creepy old crazy lady in my room or B)some ghost that would scare me and I’d be scarred for life. Well I found neither. It was a teddy bear my grandma gave Lilly. I seriously gave it away. I didn’t wanna have that fear go through me ever again!!!
I am so laughing ..thanks for the laugh
Yeah, that thing totally said “No.” That’s creepy as hell. You need to tear it apart and then burn it. We don’t want it sitting outside your window at night. Ew.
I can’t believe Maddy slept with that thing under her head. She’s such a cutie.
that thing is TOTALLY possessed!! It would have to disappear. Sorry Mom, it’s chucky reincarnate as an evil bunny. LOL!
It did say NO! Crazy rabbit makes my hair stand on ends.
That’s hilarious. Maddie is so precious, what a cute girl you and Liz created!! I have toys like that as well, but they’re usually going off in the toybox, all by themselves, until I dig around and uncover them. THAT’S creepy. No one around, total silence, and then out of no where the toy just starts going off all by it self. At least Maddie was sleeping on it, so there was a reason for the maniacal laughter lol.
That is too funny!
HOLY CRAP. that’s even fucking scarier than tickle me elmo. which made my then two-year-old little brother SCREAM AND CRY AND RUN AWAY when he so much as just *saw* the thing. without it making its scary devil noises and shakes.
Thanks Matt, now I will be dreaming of that Demon Bunny tonight!! Cuz, I really need another thing to keep me up besides my 19 month old. That thing is scary!!
HAHA…I totally see that happening…my son has the hulk smash hands, left them in our room. Hubby gets up in the middle of the night and hears “Your making me angry, your not gonna like me angry”…scared the hell out of him…..my dog stepped on it! Poor hubby thought he was gonna have to fight off attackers in his undies!
Take care and thanks for sharing.
batteries probably come right out of that demonic spawn toy…
and *poof* just like that sweet little Madeline is back to being the loudest thing in yer house.
I was going to say *scariest* thing in yer house…..but she’s too cute to go that far..
I vote let her keep it- for all we know it could be that all important first step in her buffy type slayer training.
you throwing out that toy could potentially doom us all.
Leave the world with no blond to combat evil… I shutter to think of it.
I’ll PAY you for that thing!
The fun I could have.
I THINK that’s a sheep, actually, or a very screwed up bunny. Either way, it’s just wrong. Especially with those eyes.
But then again, I’ve never seen a stuffed animal which is that scary.
For some odd reason though, I don’t think the laugh is that bad. The fact that it says “No” is a bit more creepier.
Uhm yeah. Way evil. Especially with the “no” after you asked her about throwing it away. Icky!
yeah.. trashcan time for that thing. that made me jumpy. i don’t like toys that sound like the devil. LOL thanks mom indeed!
It is kinda scary that it said no!! To be honest I would probably throw it away too!! But as I watched the 2nd video my son and daughter came over to see the toy and Caleb said “I want that” So it scares adults but kids love it!! hahaha!!
I am laughing so hard! I can see why that thing freaked you out and needs to go!! Oh – avoid the Fisher Price Learning Puppy too. That thing has gone off with no provocation several times in our house and it’s creepy in that happy-go-lucky creepy way. Your toy is creepy in the demonic way. Sorry Matt’s mom!
not to be a worry wort but PLEASE PLEASE remove the most of the stuffed animals from the crib. Babies have know to suffocate on them in their sleep. I cringe everytime I see all the animals in the crib…..sorry (please?)
She is So darn cute…..That face!!! You must want to gobble her up every day.
That thing would have scared the shit out of me too, but WT hell when you ask if you can throw it away I could swear I heard the thing say no. Burn that rat thing. lol
HYSTERICAL!!
I have not laughed that hard in a while….thanks for sharing! Hope you were able to rid yourself of the demonic toy, although she seems to really love it!!
When the twins turned one someone bought them the Fisher Price Dog. We would clean up their toys at night and be sitting watching TV. All of the sudden we would hear “peek a boo, I see you!” We thought is was a fluk until the second night it happened again. My husband took that dog to the garage and it was never seen again.
OMG…I’m dying here, because I have had similar demon toy experiences.
My mom had a real knack for buying toys for my oldest daughter as a baby/young toddler that would frighten a full grown adult and cause them to seek emergency counseling. I remember one toy in particular that she had seen at the grocery store while checking out. That sucker was a big ball of hot pink and extremely hairy, might have also had arms (I think I have blocked the visual from my memory due to trauma….lol). Looked weird, but harmless enough. Until Holland hugged it and that thing began screaming and vibrating and shrieking and howling. I believe I uttered something along the lines of “HOLY SHIT! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS THING?!?” as my mom laughed and told me how “cute” she thought it was. I think it lasted about two days before we had to get rid of it. My nerves just could not take it and I thought Holland was going to have a nervous breakdown if that thing went off again. Fun times.
Another incident we had was with an ABC talking Elmo doll. He was a fuzzy, cute Elmo. But if you squeezed his belly, he’d sing the ABC song in his loud, sing-songy Elmo voice. Cute, right? Not at 3am. Holland was sleeping in our bed one night (she was about 18 months old, I think) and Elmo was in the bed, too. My husband rolled over on Elmo and he went off. Both of us were ripped out of slumber to the loud Elmo singing his song. We freaked out, a) because we were scared and b) because our kid was a light sleeper and we did NOT want her awake. It was a chaotic scene as we tried to process what the hell the noise was, were it was coming from and trying to get it to stop. I ended up grabbing Elmo and tossing him out of the bed, out our bedroom door and down the hallway like he was a hot grenade. He landed on his big plastic eyeballs and made a loud “thud” on our hardwood floors just as he finished his little song.
I think Elmo ended up far away from any bedroom after that incident.
Hey Matt,
I have been reading since January but never commented. Just wanted to say I have a son about the same age and Maddie is precious.
Also, I know that fear! I once heard a creepy womans voice on my sons baby monitor while he was sleeping. She was telling him to tell her he loved her….or so I thought. After running into his room I find we had somehow picked up our neighbors baby monitor and no…she wasnt talking to my son. lol Can you say “The Hand that Rocks the Cradle”??? LOL
Take care
Mel
Sorry Grandma Broccoli, it is a little creepy! It is those kinds of things the kiddos seem to love though. However, once you have one of those scares like that – I have also had those instant thoughts of my kid being gone with some note in her place, only to find her in dreamland – they are hard to shake the feeling.
OMG I heard it say “no” when you said “can we throw it away?” holy shit – get rid of it before it possesses your house!!! lol
mich from england
Yup, trash. Now if it COMES BACK….Time to freak!
Adorable kiddo as usual!
HAHAHAHAH! That was hilarious! I could actually picture the whole scene in my head. ANd I would have totally thought the same things as you did about the baby-napping that you assumed had taken place.
And yes not only does that toy have the creepiest laugh on the planet-but it totally talked back to you! TOSS
That thing would scare the crap out of me. And I could just see my daughter doing it first thing in the morning to let me know she is awake. I love in your video how you keep saying ” I hate that thing!” and Maddy smiles. LOL.
So darn funny! It’s happened to me too. And the irrational ‘someone must have kidnapped and left a note’ reaction. Congratulations, you are officially thinking and reacting like a woman!
I haven’t looked at the site in a bit and she has completely grown into a toddler look. A bit sad as the baby era is officially over, but also should make you proud. She is healthy, growing and thriving!
Oh Em Gee, My mom buys my kids those most hideous of toys, too. It’s a conspiracy.
Thanks for the morning laugh, Matt. Madeline is getting so big, I love to see her on video.
Best,
Mishelle
AHHH that toy is so scary!!!!! Lord I would have peed in my pants if that happened to me at night, good thing you were on the phone with people! Madeline sure is a sound sleeper!
I am impressed as all hell that she can press the tummy and activate that thing. NONE of my kids could do that at her age with the stupid vibrating stuffed toys they got as presents (or perhaps that is because I took all the batteries out….).
oh damn, that thing gave me the shivers. i feel ya, yikes. can’t believe that’s a kid toy!
That is completely beyond creepy and I too would have thrown it in the trash.
I was just LMAO and reading your story to another co-worker who was laughing so hard she had tears running down her face. But Matt she gets cuter by the minute, and sure does have a lot of Liz’s looks. Your going to have to fight off the boys thats for sure. Be proud of how well you have done, and never doubt yourself.
We finally had to tell both sets of grandparents: You will not give the children toys that make noise. If you do, they will be returned — either to the store or to you.
I don’t know WHAT they’re thinking when they buy this crap for the kids. Is this the passive-aggressive way of getting us back for our own childhoods?
ROFLMAO!! Matt that is hilarious. My kids leave crap on all the time that scares me, but nothing they’ve had ever has sounded as evil as that little monster!
LMAO!! We had a similar experience with that horrid Tickle Me Elmo doll when my oldest was about Maddy’s age…… parenthood is hilarious sometimes, isn’t it??!!! Still think of you frequently … sending hugs from the Armpit Of America…..Melissa
That thing is incredibly scary!! And I am not a fearful person but being a widow has truly made me a wimp. My imagination goes full force when something unexplained happens.
It’s like Donnie Darko was at your house!!!
Loved the post–hilarious! We had a similar experience with a Furby. Packed it away in a box to do a “step-down” get rid of plan. Walked by it later and it wiggled and kept repeating “Let me out of here–it’s dark in here”! CREEPY toys deserve to die. Haha
Yeah. We have a dog one like it. But yours is scarier.
I have not laughed that hard for a long time. What a great post! You are so real and so funny and so…real! I had a similar situation one Christmas. We bought our daughter a toy that was cuddly and talked nicely with Sesame Street songs and phrases. My husband and I were in the living room talking quietly, so we wouldn’t wake our little girl, when we heard a soft voice coming from the family room. We suspected our toddler was exploring the presents under the twinkling tree lights. But not. One of the ‘presents’ under the tree was talking. And singing. And wouldn’t stop. We scrambled everywhere trying to find which gift it was and then opened it five days early! (We learned to not put batteries in anything until Christmas is official.) So I appreciate your “panic!-I-can’t-think-or-react-fast-enough” knee-jerk. I’m sorry you had such a deep fear reaction but – being as dedicated a father as you are – it was totally normal. You are great and Maddy is precious. I loved this post. Now, breathe =0)
Ah the neurotic brain of a parent!!! Sorry you were scared, but in a parents mind all things terrible are possible. The bunny is creeptastic…. My daughter has a crawling baby that giggles but them it farts and laughs in a different sort of devious way, and despite the manufactures (yes I called them, oh yeah and emailed them) promise that this brand of baby does not indeed “make noises associated with flatulence” she still continues to crawl around our house and fart then giggle. My 3 year old thinks it is seriously funny – because lets be honest, it is…. This is my first official comment on your blog (and I sort of feel like a rock star for doing this…) I love your style of writing and how you are able to be raw – it is a breath of fresh air in the blogging world. Maddy is so super cute (but I’m sure you hear that all the time – but who is kidding – a parent LOVES hearing that about their baby!!)
Matt- LMAO! Sorry you were freaked out but the way you tell the story, all I could do is laugh! I gt the crap scared out of me all the time.
1: Maddy is etting more and more gorgeous everyday.
2: that toy needs to be cut into pieces, then burned and then thrown away. it’s very very chucky-ish!!
hugs from NJ
erica and Landon
This is pretty funny. Definitely would have scared the shit out of me too. Thanks for posting the video. It does appear that Maddy loves the thing though
oh my……..i heard the “NO” too
i’m a little worried about you guys now..
…
ever heard about furbies?
youtube them if you haven’t.
they’re crazy scary………..do not ever get madeline one of those, or accept them from anybody.
those furbies talk even with their batteries out (my sister has one).
We have a Illini-clad monkey that scared the living shit out of me one evening after my son rolled over on it. Like Maddy, he remained fast asleep and I cursed the gifter of that present…you guessed it, his grandmother.
sounds like it might be time to hide that little gem back at grandma’s house…..i had a rolf the dog puppet from the muppets that scared the bejeezus out of me as a kid………
For the longest time my son had a toy that the family calls his “Chucky phone”. There were no buttons to press on the thing, yet it would randomly make a whole variety of noises. I threw it out after hearing it ring in the middle of the night. Three weeks later it was back in his closet. I tossed it out again. It showed up a few months later in the garage. We moved 8 months ago and I sincerely hope it can’t find us here.
And it totally said “no” when you asked Maddy about throwing it out. CREEPY.
How creepy. I found your blog from (of course) MckMama. Maybe that toy could find itself back with Grandma or maybe Grandma could replace it with something a bit sweeter and quieter, say a Cabbage Patch Doll.
I have enjoyed reading what an amazing parent you are to Maddie. Thanks for sharing your life with everyone.
I love this story!!!
Just a piece of advice from a mom of three…. make sure she wears pants to bed. She will figure out how to take off her diaper at some point (and soon!!). If she poops that is going to be one fun mess to clean up not to mention stinky. Trust me!! Save yourself the time and grossness, put pants on her.
I think I more enjoy the fact that your mom got it! I would be throwing that thing away too!
That is super scary, but I am a little nervous for animals in the crib. I am afraid that some animal may wrap around her, I don’t know..the animals in a crib just freak me out. I never had animals stay in my daughters crib when she was a baby..
that was hilarious! thanks for sharing! maddy is getting bigger and bigger and more gorgeous! take care!
Okay, that was a terrifying cross between Chucky and a Furby. I think I would have run out of the house screaming for help.
Hi Matt. Just recently found your blog. And learned a little about your story. My daughters name is Madeline as well and a fireball
My husbands name is Matt too (weird right?).
I will be back to keep up on your stories of you & little Maddy or do you say Maddie?
Haha! That is a demonic toy!!!
Hi there,
I just found your blog through Momtog’s blog! I am truly sorry for the loss of your wife and best friend!
Your daughter is beautiful and looks just like her. I think she will be happy about that!
I am a mom who has experienced plenty of bedrest, it stinks. I can empathize with you on your loss because I lost my daughter. Life isn’t fair. I just leave it at that.
I’m thankful I found your blog, you are so real in your writing and it’s nice and refreshing! Thank you for sharing and letting us all into your life for a glimpse
My Aunt gave my daughter a super creepy doll on her 1st B-day. It rode a bike in circles to creepy chuckie music, it scared her so bad that I had to hide it and months later we found and started it up and she lost it. She ran so fast and said “no doll no doll”. Why are these creepy toys even made?
LOL! I agree with Robin. The best idea is to send the toy back to your Mom’s house so she can participate in the fun
Gotta love those children’s toys that make the wonderful noises!
I’m sorry. I still have a smile on my face from this story. I laughed out loud a few times, too (thanks, I needed that today).
Would I have been scared like that? Feck yes. However, since it happened to you, I can sit here and laugh about it, and I am laughing. A lot.
Thanks again!
So… has the thing made its way to the trash bin yet?
That is scary Matt and when it said NO wtf I would have burned that thing…….so scary……..
Ummm, that thing totally said “no” after you mentioned the idea of throwing it in the trash. Crazy creepy toy! So glad it wasn’t really a baby stealer. Whoa!! She is so big now. Wild!
Well Matt, we made it thru the 13th of June. We were happy that Sophia was one today but our thoughts were mostly with Jackie on her one year passing. The weather here in Chicago was gloomy and raining. We took Sophia to the cemetary and released balloons in honor of Jackie. Tomorrow we celebrate Sophia’s birthday with our friends and family. Maddy is lucky her birthday is a different day from Liz’s passing. She would of been even luckier if her mother were here today. All I can say is this situation is fucked up and I feel it will always be that way. Well another 364 days until the next anniversary.
Rosann(chicago)
Think I’d set it on fire before throwing it away, just in case….My girls have this GIANT stupid Raggedy Ann doll, life-size, and my overactive imagination always thinks it’s going to eat me. I’d totally drop-kick that bitch.
I’ll admit that I was laughing at (with?) you the entire time I read this post … but then, when I got to the video and heard the “no” – I said to myself (out loud) “What the hell?”
I say send it back to you mom so that SHE can enjoy it when Maddy visits MN.
Absolutely horrible. And I definitely heard it say “no”! Psycho doll. BURN IT. Maddie is so precious
Oh My God! run it over with your car before you put it in the trash!
Welcome to the world or paranoid parenting!
LMFAO!!! This is the exact reason the theme for A’s second birthday party was “Toys without Noise”. For her first she got this toy steering wheel thing with blinkers, a horn, etc….. Freaking thing went off in the middle of the night and scared the shyte out of me. I freaked the F out and called my next door neighbor, woke him and his boyfried up (don’t think he expected to be outed that way, but it’s not like the whole neighborhood didn’t know already). They came to the back door and I hid in my room and searched the whole house. I said “but the toy doesn’t honk unless you touch it!!”. They has to bring the thing in my room and wait until it went off by itself before I believed there was no one in my house. The next day I called my ex and told him “you are right. I have too many toys here. So I’ve packed up some for your house”.
I totally sympathize.
Our daughter had a Halloween witch doll like that, except it would go off laughing when no one was in the room. We even stuck it in the garage over night (“We have to park the witch by her broom, Sweetie.”) and it went started laughing on its own. The spinning head added to its charm. The witch flew away one nignt. To make it realistic, we ditched the broom in the garage, too.
Fly, my pretty, fly!
Who would create such a scary stuffed animal for children?
That thing is so evil, it will probably keep showing up after you try to throw it out…
OKay, I’m reading your story and being very very scared for you too. then I’m all excited because you have a video of it making the noise, so I read your last sentence before watching the video and I’m waiting for it to say no after you ask Maddy if you can throw it out and I’m HYSTERICAL at how it does say no exactly after you end your question, and HOW it says no. I’m with you – Pitch it, and now let’s figure out how we can get mom back!!!
My 14 month old has this play set that talks and has a piano and counts to ten and shit like that. Sometimes when I walk into the room it says “Hello” in the creepiest voice ever!!! Sometimes when I walk out of the room to check on him when he is sleeping it says “Bye Bye”. Freaks the holy shit out of me every time!!! My husband is convinced that its the vibration of me walking into the room that sets it off…….but I am convinced that it is the freaky short lady with the scary voice from poltergeist living in his room!! I would have chucked it along time ago if it wasn’t one of his favorites!
Wow, that would have freaked me out too! I agree about the “lovie” thing. If you don’t want Maddy to make that toy her favorite make it “disappear” soon, LoL.
Very interesting article about fathers and the language of parenting- it made me think of you immediately. Not that it will be anything new for you! Some of the responses were really interesting as well.
http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/06/13/changing-the-language-of-fatherhood/
ps. she’s adorable.
That toy would have scared the absolute crap out of me as well..what an awful chuckle it has to be a child’s toy..i think you should burn it just in case it decides to come back from the trash, Maddy will fall in love with something else soon..hopefully nothing that responds “no” when you ask if you can throw it out…freaaaakkkkyyyy!!!!
I don’t know… I once had an experience with a scary toy that kept coming back. We threw it out three times before it finally stayed gone… It was most likely a member of my family rescuing it from the trash to scare the rest of us, but still. I’d be careful with that thing.
Fucking hilarious! You’ll know it’s demonic if you threw it away and it ends up back at your house! LOL <>
AHH!! That is so scary!!!!Did the toy actually say NO when you asked her if you could throw it away?!?! I can’t believe she slept through that. Why do they make toys that sound like mean grumpy old men laughing? Sick. Normally I wouldn’t condone throwing away a beloved toy, but chuck that sucker!
My daughter sleeps exactly like yours….but I don’t know whether she would have slept through that….seriously creepy….why would someone manufacture a stuffed bunny that sounded like that!! Mom’s always buy you toys for your kids that make awesome amounts of noise….a sort of payback I’m assuming!! LOL
Sorry…but that things is TRULY frightening! However, the entire story is HILARIOUS! Thanks for making me giggle thru this aggravating sleepless night I’ve got going on.
Grandma is the best! Loved the videos and yes that toy truly is scary. Throw it away
LOL. Couldn’t you just take the battery out?
. (If it still makes noise then it is probably possessed and I totally understand why you would get rid of it.)
funny stuff.
Pretty sure that would’ve scared the crap out of me too. Glad it wasn’t actually Chucky though, now that would’ve been scary.
I agree with your conference call buddies, totally Chucky!!! I would toss that thing and get a cuter, non-freaky toy that giggles
Could she be any more in love with that creepy thing? She looks truly delighted. Matt, I think you’re going to have to get over your fear of the toy because that smile of hers is too precious. You can’t win.
I had a troll doll (remember those fucking things) when I was a kid that was on roller skates. It was over a foot tall and very mechanically skated and laughed as it crossed the floor… oh and its eyes lit up. Lets just say, after that stupid bitch crossed my bedroom floor when I was 6 and its eyes glowed…. My mom found it in the trash can in the garage with its legs broken off!!! At 6 years old I became a toy killer and I ended that thing! lol
I understand your horror… you need to end that thing!!!
BAAWWWAAAA- I can totally relate, we have had a few of those over the last 4 years! (and the sound that dying remote control cars makes when they have been hidden somewhere with the power left on is just as freaky!) But your voiceover on the video beats all!!
She looks like a mini-me of Liz………….must be like having Liz with you every day in a miniature form.
I had to laugh at the fact that your mom bought the creepy toy for her. Sorry! Why is it always the grandparents who buy the noisy or creepy toys. As an aunt (not yet a mom), I do my hardest to buy quiet toys or at least the kind that you can turn off, take the batteries out of, or turn the volume down on. I honestly think they do this as a right of passage. They put up with our toys, music and all the other crazy things we loved that they hated and now it is our time.
That is truly a scary toy. I would definitely hide that toy or get rid of it!! It’s funny how they always love the most annoying toys that you get. I hope you don’t have too many nightmares about it!
Pansy.
That thing totally said NO.. in a super posessed voice.
Creepy!
Oh this post is good ! A warning for you though…It must go into the garbage before the batteries die because once they get low that thing is going to triple its fear factor…start going off by itself at all hours… laughing lower and slower… Really freakin scary stuff. And yeah. It said no when you asked to throw it in the garbage. SCARY.
I LOVE that the thing answered ‘NO” to you throwing it away. Totally creepy!
Oh my gosh, I can’t stop laughing! I’m at work trying to muffle my laughter. That creepy thing said no! HA!
YIKES. Who comes UP with this stuff…?
Get it out, STAT.
totally creept. We actualy have the Chuckie doll. My son wanted it 1 year for Christmas. It is now in our closet under the stairs buried beneath all the Christmas junk. Hopefully he cannot get out this way.
Maddie is growing up so fast. She looks like the pics of Liz.
Teresa Burke
never laughed so hard. my son has one too….but it’s an easter egg…..it found its way to the bottom of the toy box and i am so thank ful the batteries have died!
Matt – you’d have a great career in writing horror stories! I was freaked out reading your replay of what happened as you were walking into her room!
On a side note, Maddy is so completely irresistible in that first picture and video. She’s gonna explode from cuteness if she gets any cuter!
that is downright freaky! Get it out of there!
My God, was that hilarious! I know, it’s not really funny to you because it happened to you, but seriously, I was cracking up! And yes, I heard the scary demonic ‘No.’ Did not like that. It would have scared the shit out of me, for reals.
ok, first…maddy is just adorable!
and now on to the demon toy. don’t you just LOVE toys like that? yeah, neither do i. we’ve had several “oh my god what the hell was that?!?!” episodes with toys and puzzles that talk. imagine waking up in the middle of the night to elmo’s crazy laughing. you really need to “lose” that toy. it’s BAD.
Matt,
I agree, the toy is horrible. I think that is a toy that will just have to go live with grand mom since she gave it to her as a gift
It is very scary, I think you may have to lose it at an airport or send it to one of they guys you were on the phone with as a gag gift.
Great blog post!
She is awesome!
That is by far the creepiest toy I have ever seen! I once rolled over on an asparagus toy when I was sleeping. I was terrified! I think the only thing you can do to destroy this thing is to dismember it and set it on fire. I’m afraid if you just throw it in the trash, you might find it at the foot of your bed in the middle of the night! Eeeeek!
OMG What is that thing!? Super creepy. I would have freaked if I heard that coming from one of my kids’ rooms!
Stupid evil talking toys! My niece has a little Elmo bike thingy that talks randomly in the middle of the night and scares the shit out of me.
DUDE! totally kill it! it is EVIL…i hate the sound of it
I’m in tears laughing at the last video…yeah, those toys seem to get lost at my house, too…I love the videos and I’m so excited about the book! I’m sure Liz is just amazed at everything you do…
Linda, so cute! A princess!
This totally happened to me when I was 13 and babysitting. Actually walked into the kids room with a kitchen knife (13 year olds are dumb). Turned out to be a Pee Wee Herman doll. Talk about demonic.
Man that is creepy! I would throw it away too!
http://sprucehill.typepad.com/
I didn’t read any comments except for the one at the top… and I have never posted a comment (i think), although I am a regular reader. I am simply commenting because that is some seriously funny shit! I mean, not just the effed up toy… but the documentary to go with it… and of course, the writing! I’ll post again in another year or so.
Hey, Matt.
I have been reading your blog for about about a year now, but have never left a comment because, well, you have to wade through a sea of them, and I figured whatever mundane thing I had to say would get totally lost (and rightfully so!).
But OMG. That toy *IS* demonic! That is the ugliest… lamb??… I have ever seen, and that laugh! Is that some toy manufacturers idea of a sick joke?? Yeah, I can see why you would be afraid. And the thing talks back to you! (“NO!”)
Reminds me of a possessed fire truck we once banished to the front porch one night, it’s plaintive wailing siren freaking us all out through the front door, because it would. Not. Shut. Off.
Yikes.
Prayers, Hope, and Love,
Rici from Oregon
OMG ~ She is too adorable!!!
Lol!! That is hysterical!! I almost never watch any of your videos (I stick to the pics, for whatever odd reason), but I couldn’t stop my curiosity. I don’t know if it’s the worst, scariest, most maniacal toy ever, but it’s sure is awful, that’s for sure!! =)
And I **totally** get the completely irrational, sweaty-palms, scared-as-fuck feeling over something pretty trivial. I’m sure many parents have it anyway, but I can only assume that it’s lifetimes more palpable for those of us who HAVE had to survive a nightmare when the worst thing really does happen…particularly a sudden, unexpected death. I’ve had a few almost panics over things with Anna since Charley died, and I never really had them before. Hate ‘em with a passion too.
But your retelling of it is rather priceless and hysterical too. ;o) And I hope you managed to sneak that toy into the trash, too. ;o)
Hugs,
Candice
yeah that toy sounds pretty damn evil.
and your daughter is just too adorable.
Wow… totally creepy. I had a very similar experience with a demon toy when my daughter was about Maddy’s age. Good luck with that. My daughter’s toy mysteriously went missing on day… … and I’m sure it had a very nice ride to the landfill! LOL
hilarious! you know parents secretly wait to get us ‘back’ when we have kids of our own! your mom is a genius! LOL
Just plain creepy. Grandparents are good for toys like that!
Hi, I saw your story on Oprah.
Your daughter is simply adorable, beautiful.
You seem like a nice man (but your language is pretty atrocious – that did not come across on Oprah – so I was more than a little surprised when reading this story – you swear….alot! and then your readers seem to, too and wow – that’s not something a daughter wants to see — it degrades you….and then her)….and you both seem so sweet.
I’m sure you want to honor the memory of her mother by not using such bad language when writing about your daughter.
Good luck with your book and may God Bless your family.
(one suggestion….please stop using swear words – they are worse than the toy….especially the “f” word. Please don’t expose your daughter to that. I admired alot about my father, in fact everything about him, and one thing he did was rarely used swear words (of course, there was the occasional slip up and then you knew there was a reason – but he was an educated man, a writer, journalist and someone we could always, always look up to and count on. One can totally understand the occasional slip up – but to purposely talk like that and put it in writing – i am quite certain your lovely, precious daughter would not want to hear that from her daddy).
My father Never used the “f” word – that man had so much respect for his children. You sound like an educated man – please show it to your beautiful daughter. Thanks so much. She will appreciate it.
I mean well to pass this along, so please don’t take it the wrong way. It’s just that now would be the time to start.
Sometimes, it’s a good thing to leave behind our old ways and certain languages. It’s just not needed – you will see.
Best to you and your dear daughter!
My husband was permanently scarred by a teletubby.
our daughter was born last october with down syndrome, 5 heart defects, needs a feeding tube and recently decided to throw mysterious seizures into the mix.
i’m also a fan of colorful expletives…i suppose i could censor my language or limit her exposure to the more dramatic and drawn out “FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUck”, but something tells me she’s gonna need a few in her arsenal for the years ahead.
Loving your blog, of course…
hahaha! men that scared me too!!!! Maddy you are so cute!!! and daddy you are cute too hehehe
(smile) Have a good day to both of you!!!!!
Just wanted to tell you that I love your blog… I sit on the couch with my laptop and read it to my husband… we have a little one and have a few of those crazy toys, as well! We cracked up at the story! You’re an amazing writer and I can’t wait to read your book. Maddy is so blessed to have such an amazing father!!
But Matt, she Loves that toy!
While not as demonic, it does remind me of the time I bought the boys I babysat for a toy driving set with loud ignition sounds and honking horn. It took me years to figure out why it was quickly placed in the basement.
you are very blessed. your daughter is adorable. i saw you on oprah and your story was very touching.
I concur. That toy must go!
Ahh! That NO was so scarey! Goodbye Mr. Buny Toy!
ACK! that thing is creepy!!! btu soooo funny too!!! THROW IT OUT!!!
That is crazy. I would find a way to scare the crap out of my mom with it. Honestly throw it out.
I just found your blog, so I’m catching up on old posts while I’m “working”, sorry for the out-dated comment. Holy crap, that toy sucks. And holy crap, how cute is that first video?
Ok, I’m another wayyy behind reader and I laughed so hard at this post. It really seems like, well at least at this point of your life, the sense of humor you’d always had was really coming back. The story about the stuffed animal and you wearing the bedazzled Pampers shirt were both hilarious!