but the weekend
before, the family
descended upon
los angeles to eat a
lot of hotdogs.
or so they thought.
yeah, they’d be
eating some hotdogs
on sunday…
what i didn’t
tell them
was that they were
also in town to
do some work for me.
that’s nothing new,
i suppose, considering
i never really
tell them that
i need help with
anything until they arrive,
and when they
get to my house
they get hit with
a list of tasks.
the grandpas?
they had various
assignments related to
installing a water line
in my refrigerator
so that maddy will
have an indoor
water toy to play
with when she finally
figures out how to
move and climb
onto a chair
to reach the ice maker.
the grandmas?
they had some cleaning
and organizing to do
because i’d let
the house become
nearly impassable in the
last few weeks.
my 16 year old
nephew, travis,
visiting los angeles
for the first time?
he played with madeline.
my brother, david,
just off the plane
and in town
from a 6-month
study abroad trip
in new zealand?
surely he would be
exempted from work…
no.
he painted my bathroom
(but i paid him in beer).
me?
i did nothing.
except run back
and forth to
stores to buy
everything they needed
to complete their jobs.
the grandpa piece
is fun…
there are levels of
handiness among them.
my dad (grandpa tom l.) is the
handiest of them
all, mainly because
he has been
a contractor his
whole life.
my step-dad (grandpa rodney),
is not too shabby for
a non-professional.
liz’s
dad (grandpa tom g.)
is just slightly
more handy than me,
which is to say,
he’s better as
an observer.
with that crack crew
in place, i expanded
their duties to
include installing a
new dishwasher, oven,
and tankless waterheater.
the dishwasher was
broken and
it was necessary
to have a new one
because madeline
is still too young to
wash dishes by hand.
and i figured that
since i had the
free labor, i may as
well get the stove
replaced because
it was next in line
to break.
the tankless waterheater
was put in so i
could gain back
part of my laundry room/kitchen
(yeah, the room is so small that it is both a kitchen and a laundry room).
so from friday – sunday morning
everyone worked hard and fast
so we could have
a bunch of people
over to my house
on sunday.
the only breaks we
got were when:
1. my dad stayed home with maddy and i took david out for a night at the pirate bar in downtown los angeles. (we met a dude with what we both thought was the coolest tattoo of all time…a portrait of uncle buck-era john candy on his forearm).
2. i kidnapped the grandmas and took them to a dinner at jayneoni’s place in honor of heather, mike and maddie
—–
sunday was the
big day.
a 27-foot hotdog
on top of a
car arrived in
griffith park
to feed people and
raise money for
great turnout,
with lots of new
and old friends stopping by.
during the event
in the park,
the weinermobile folks
raffled off a couple of pedal
cars, an rc car and
a ride in the real
thing, helping
raise $691 for
the foundation.
totally awesome.
after griffith park,
a few of us
went back to madeline’s
house where the
party continued.
the two very capable
drivers of the weinermobile
(aka hotdoggers),
crystal and adam,
offered us a ride
back to our place
so david
and maddy
joined me.
(note, these hotdoggers were not the ones responsible for this)
madeline was out
within 5 minutes
and 10 minutes later
we were home.
soon enough the
party was in full-swing,
at some point
people wanted to
take photos of
the thing,
so the crowd
moved to the front yard.
got lots of photos
of madeline and
her friends
the robot even
got involved.
eventually it was time
to give everyone
a ride, so adam
drove all interested
parties in a loop
around my neighborhood
while david did a
little entertaining:
(special thanks to kris and noelle for making everything happen)
by the end of
the day i was
sunburned and exhausted,
the visitors were gone,
and it was time
to say goodbye
to some of the family.
maddy was already asleep.
i stepped into her
room and gave her
a couple of kisses.
then i was
off to bed to read.
…
on monday we got
an early morning visit
from my mom,
rodney and travis
before they took off
for the airport.
they really came
over to say
goodbye to madeline.
we spent the rest
of the week
at work
and daycare
while david toured
los angeles.
here are some
photos of madeline
from that week:
that last photo made
me think of all
of those pregnant
photos i took of her
mom
16 months earlier.
how very different
this moment with
madeline
was from the one
i expected.
sometimes it’s hard
to think about
what it is
that could have been.
but there,
on that wednesday
afternoon, with my
brother trying to
convince my
daughter to stumble
into his arms,
i felt pretty okay.
well, sort of.
109 Comments
Great blog…. loves the pic of Maddy asleep in her car seat in the weiner mobile !!
Love your blog, Matt!!
Awesome! What other 1 year olds get to ride in the Wienermobile? And double awesome that she fell asleep. Must’ve been one smooth ride.
you just rock as a father. thank you for sharing with us.
Glad to see the event was such a success. I actually thought of you and Madeline when I heard about that *other* Weinermobile. Happy to see it wasn’t the same one.
I’m glad the foundation is raising so much money to help families in need. It’s a great legacy to leave in honor of Liz.
Madeline will always remind you of Liz, but hopefully someday remembering will be joyful instead of painful.
I think it’s pretty awesome that the weinermobile came and parked right outside your house!!
Thanks for sharing all the pics! They made my day a little brighter today.
matt~~wonderful times, wonderful memories but still that
fucking sucks thing is there~~but i’ve found it sometimes makes times better, no bearable
at least, *we* know how important the good times are
because *we* know how it sometimes fucking sucks
(i just passed the 31 month mark)
it really doesn’t get better, just bearable, which is nice
We do the same thing when my family comes to visit. This weekend my dad will help my husband install a new door. Good times!
She’s such a good little dancer!
I’m jealous of your ride in the weinermobile.
I would just like to point out that I took the pic of Matt, David, and Grandpa Tom; there was a table full of condiments right next to them; and *never* did I suggest making a Logelin Man Sandwich. The long-time blog readers know that this is quite a feat.
Please hold your applause until the end of the comments.
Carry on.
Sounds like everyone had a blast with the huge wiener.
Also, it’s perfectly ok to feel ok.
Awesome post, glad to hear you were pretty okay. Sometimes that’s enough, and I hope it is for you.
Looks like a great time. I always wonder Matt do you think Liz knew how much you truly loved her? Everytime I read about your love for her, I always wonder.
Sorry for such a heavy question. It’s been on my mind everytime I hear about you guys.
yes.
i know she did because i told her and showed her all the time.
Loved the pictures with the wiener mobile! Great stuff! Only Madeline would fall asleep in it though! hehe Thanks for the updates and I love all of the photos!
p.s. On a more serious note…
This was my first time meeting the Grandmas, and I’ve got to say… WHAT an honor. What incredibly lovely women! Maddy is SO lucky to have been born into two such wonderful families… And *I* feel lucky to be associated with y’all!
What an awesome weiner of a day it was! Thanks for including us…can’t wait for our next adventure with M&M!
@ K8 in The Northridge
I completely second that! Aren’t they an awesome family? Why can’t mine be…I’ve said too much, haha!
Madeline changed a lot! She’s a lot bigger now compared to the last time I saw her picture.
The video of her dancing is so precious. I just love how she twists her body to the music. What a little angel!
I’ve never considered inviting the family over and then hitting them with the tasklist. Great idea!
And I want to see the pic of the Uncle Buck tattoo! How freakin’ cool is that?!
Great pics. Looks like a blast. Congrats on the fund raising!
Looks like a lot of fun (& work)!! We wanted to make that Griffith Park run, but alas Austin slept right through it. Next time.
Great pics. We had a blast. I met your dad and in-laws and I agree, Maddie is so lucky to have such a great family.
What a fantastic idea for a fundraiser! Congrats on a great turnout!
Maddy is gorgeous anyway, but my heart melted a bit when I saw the pic of her with the ponytail.
Good work on getting it in…and her keeping it in! What did you end up doing to distract her?
glad you got the GOOD hot doggers … and that you can have so much good to help with the sad.
Awesome pictures Matt. Madeline really resembles are mama in a lot of ways. She is such a pretty little girl. Awesome blog. Thanks
The landscapes in those pics looks so different – the one with Liz is all lush and green and the one with Maddy is desert-esque. I know its probably just the season, but strangely metaphorical.
Ok why is everything so lush with the photos of Liz, and so brown M, could it be because lack of rain? Wow.
Uncle Buck! I was thinking of going the skull and cross bones route but that’s a great idea.
Is this the Weinermobile from Madison, WI? If so, we see it all the time! Love that thing!
I love your blog! Never quit writing! I know you probably hear that a lot. But if we could get commentary on your daughter all the way up until she’s in college that would be great. And your wife was beautiful! I’m sure she’s laughing at every funny story and picture you post on this blog.
Looks like it was wonderful times. You are doing great Matt. Maddy is growing so beautifully. So many great memories are being made for you and her. I am glad to see a dad be so involved in his child’s life.
loving the look of those long summer days with friends and family enjoying a drink or six outside. i can’t wait til we get our summer back in a few months. it looks like this was almost the perfect day, matt……
K8: you are too funny!!! How dud you ever hold yourself back?
Matt and Maddy: I am so glad you had a great weekend!
Ah Matt, just when I think it’s safe to read your blog post, zap…there come the teary eyes and the tug at my heart. Does it hurt you or help you that Maddy looks so much like Liz? I imagine it’s a little of both. Sweet…and bittersweet. Thanks for the video, it made me laugh out loud. Post one of her walking, please….
Madeline in the Weinermobile? That’s awesome!
Love the blog!! Glad your family got to see the weiner mobile! Maddy just proved that she, definately, can sleep anywhere!!! LOL
love the pictures!! I wish we lived closer! I need to go visit my ex sister in law. She lives in Corona, I think……..
What an incredible day! And, I’m glad you are reaching the point of feeling pretty okay some of the time.
I often read but have never commented until now. Thank you for continuing to show us that no matter how different our individual stories may be, we’re just parents trying to get through the day – having some great moments and making wonderful memories along the way.
omg the vid of her cuttin a rug with the grocery cart lookin’ like thing is hY-larious! i love the saggy diap look too!
do you have any more pics of liz from when she was PG? i LOVE the one of her and you in the garden but i was just wondering. maybe you are saving them for your book!?!?? the one i’m going to buy millions of?!
oh and PS you never answered my ? about the liz run/walk this year – will there be another one?!??!?
Oh it is so nice to hear you say you felt pretty okay. You deserve this. Your “okayness” makes me smile for you. And I have to say great job on putting Maddie’s hair in a ponytail. My daughter is 3 and my husband is still too scared to attempt that!
Yay for weinermobiles!
Who on earth did you call to get a weinermobile? Is there a weiner hotline?
It’s interesting to me that I made a mental note of the words frozen on the televison screen in her dance video only to finish the post and find that you felt “pretty okay.”
Bless your heart Matt.
awesome.
i always have wondered, when was liz’s due date and how many weeks was maddy born at?
can you please tell me where you got that gorgeous paisley outfit for her?
As always, I love seeing your sweet little girl. Thanks for the Maddy fix.
Great blog….they mostly make me laugh..sometimes make me cry but always make me appreciate what I have. I can’t wait to read your book it’s so crummy that I have to wait so long!! I just want you to know that from what I read and see you are doing an amazing job with this darling little girl who is starting to look more and more like her mother…….which I have to let you know is rare most of the time the 1st looks like Daddy…which has happened in my case she started looking like me but now its mostly dad! So if you ever happen to be In Guelph, Ontario Canada….Kaeleigh would love to have Maddie over for a tea party!!
John Candy. No way.
Love the shot of Maddy in her rainbow smock.
Matt, you’re the best!!
where are the pics of the new kitchen?
Glad you had family around.
Awesome. Glad to hear your drivers were not responsible for the WI incident. You’re a great dad and I love reading your blog!
What a wonderful weekend! Loved the pics of Maddy in the Weinermobile – and the video was wonderful! She is so adorable! You are such a great dad.
Your closing lines brought tears to my eyes. I’m so sorry Liz isn’t there with you and Maddy. So sorry.
Sooo, since no one else has gone there….
How old is your brother and is he available??? (We single gals gotta keep our eyes open here! lol)
ALSO, this made me think of you:
http://www.morenewmath.com/183/robot/
Looks like a lot of fun. Did you know a Weinermobile crashed into a home near Racine, WI last week? Here is the story. http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/nationworld/sns-ap-us-odd-wienermobile-wreck,0,1689526.story
Wow, what an adventure you to had!!
I loved Maddy in the weinermobile!! gorgeous!
I know Liz is looking down on you guys and smiling. Matt, you are a wonderful dad and looking at photos of Maddy, I can’t help but feel just joy.
Man, you’re awesome, but that last part….life just sucks sometimes!!!
The last sentence says it all. You have come a long way. I am so glad that sometimes things don’t hit you as hard as they used to.
Ha ha, I thought of the crashed Wienermobile right away. Glad you had different drivers. Those damn noisemaking toys. Maddy has a twist dance down, Bridget prefers the bounce and throws in a sway once in a while.
Matt, you are an amazing dad.
You still manage to bring a tear to my eye every time I read your blog. There aren’t enough words, my heart is with you.
You are going to have some seriously high bars to try to raise for each subsequent party. Dude, you should have started much, much slower.
Love the pic of the descending Weinermobiles. Looks like fun!
The video of Maddy dancing is just precious! She looks like a smart little girl that knows exactly what she wants to hear.
I’m impressed. You were able to pull Maddy’s hair up! Way to go…
Those last two pictures…wow…
Aren’t parents great! I love when my parents help with those type of things.
Beautiful photos!
Looks like everyone had a fabulous time with the weinermobile. I worked in a hotel years ago and they stayed there. That vehicle is awesome!!
Looks like you guys had so much fun! What a busy weekend! Maddy looks so pretty in her dresses!
When I saw that picture of Maddy in the same spot that you and Liz were in 16 months ago on Flickr…it made me think of that time too! ((((hugs))))
I am glad that you are having some moments of peace with how life has turned out for you and Maddy!! She is so lucky to have a daddy like you!!!
Amazing post, as always. I am asking everyone to donate to the Liz Logelin Foundation and Friends of Maddie next month instead of buying me birthday gifts. I hope they do !
I plan to also. I am a widow , but we hadn’t had kids yet but we were trying. Your blog inspires me. Thanks.
That is the COOLEST anything-molbile ever! It looks so nice inside. Awesome. I wish we could have been there, and YAY! for raising $691 for the foundation!
I thought those pictures of Maddy in your yard looked familiar. Bittersweet. I bet Maddy will love being back there just like her Mommy did. Liz knew and knows how much you love her. Maddy will know, too. We all see a glimpse of it and it’s amazing, so I know it is so much more intense inside.
You and Maddy have the most amazing adventures! I like all of your photos, but the one of Maddy and the robot beside the wienermobile where you used a really deep depth of field is so cool!
Sending you and the little peep a big squeeze.
As usual Matt, I love all the pictures. She is such a beautiful, happy little lady. And I know I have said this before, just like many others, but you are doing an AMAZING job with her.
I don’t have a flickr acct., so I can’t respond there. But I really dislike a certain person’s comments about your hair efforts with Maddy (among her other comments). Her hair looks awesome and cute and adorable, as well as her clothes, of course! The barrette today was absolutely adorable! Keep up the great daddy work!
Matt – please turn Maddie BACK to rear-facing in her car seat. You don’t want to turn a child forward-facing until they reach the maximum limits for rear-facing. It is 5 times safer to rear-face – it can be the difference between a broken neck/paralysis/worse or a little bump. Please check out http://www.joelsjourney.org and http://www.kyledavidmiller.org/pages/4209/Car_Seat_Safety:_Rear-facing_is_safest.htm. My almost 4 year old still rear-faces VERY comfortably in his convertible car seat.
I am a child passenger safety technician.
I have been reading your blog for the past few months. It never ceases to bring tears to my eyes. You are an amazing father.
I lvoe reading your blog and I dont always post but Matt you are a great dad and I can see just from the words you type that you loved your wife very much. Maddy is so lucky to have you .
Loved the weinermobile pics!!!!
Maddy sure is getting Big and she is just as cute as ever!
I can so relate to the last part of your blog. The “new normal” can be downright trippy at times.
Peace to you, little Maddie and your family.
Awwww baby Weinermobiles! Too cute!
Glad those weren’t the not so great Weinermobile drivers!
I’m glad everything went well. LOVE the photos.
You’re doing an awesome job!
Matt, As i saw the pic of Maddy in the backyard…all I thought about was the last pics of you and Liz when she was 7.5 mos preg of Maddy
You’ve come a long way…and so has Maddy! Loving all the pics and looks like a wonderful weekend with all the grandparents. Thanks for sharing! XX I can’t wait to hear about your weekend conference.
Looks like a great week-end with friends and family!! I LOVE the weinermobile pics…proving once again that Miss Maddy can sleep ANYWHERE!! I am glad you had such fun while raising money for an awesome cause!! Again Matt, you are doing an amazing job, and it made me smile to know that you guys are doing “pretty OK”
Yee haw! If you get free rides in a weinermobile, you’ve got no troubles. It’s always great to get cheap labor out of relatives, eh? My Maddy’s Grandpa gutted and rebuilt our entire kitchen. Perhaps this was slightly exploitive… he is a foreigner (English) but what evs, no remorse.
The pics of Maddy and all her friends and loved ones are a joy to see. Such a little star.
My hometown’s claim to fame on ML’s site….Weinermobile Crash, I love it!
I can only imagine that feeling, kind of/sort of/almost okay is both weird and good? I’m happy for you and your girl. What a dynamic-duo you make.
I’m glad everyone had a fun weekend with the Weinermobile. I’m not surprised that you mentioned the Weiner “incident” that occured in WI. I know of it since it was in all the local papers, lol! (Go Wisconsin!)
Hi Matt,
I know this is going to sound like a totally random question, but I live in NZ and was wondering what school your brother had done his exchange with? (Just if on the off chance it’s my school, my friend is probably doing an exchange to Uni of Cali next year). Thanks for your very inspiring blog, and as if you haven’t heard it enough- Maddie is so gorgeous!
I love that you said everyone was headed back to Madeline’s house instead of your house.
Your life seems so full and colorful, yet I know the brightest piece of your life is still missing. I know Madeline and Liz would have been the best of friends as well as mother & daughter. It’s still and forever will be terribly unfair.
As i always say:
Men does not babysit their own kids!
Matt, learn by doing is a great way to do stuff.
Great blog post.
/Soeren
glad you are ok – sort of…
Despite some of the crap you’re going through, you still lead one of the coolest lives ever : )
I’m SO happy to hear you’re feeling like things are ok, even if its only ‘sort of’…. stepping stones…. The entire party day looked like a huge success — what LOVE!!!
Thank God for the moments of “okay-ness” when you can breathe …at least a little.
I just loved that “car”!!!
I stumbled across your Blog through MckMama’s Blog. It’s so refreshing to read about a parent who doesn’t try to act perfect, actually swears (I know I do) and just tries to do his best on a daily basis with the hand he was dealt. Keep writing because you ROCK! And I can’t imagine your loss….just know you’ve touched a lot of people in this world……especially me!
Madeline’s photo–of her on the stairs in that flower dress. There is something so special about it.
Then I take a closer look and see her little pony tail on top of her head.
So sweet. You’re doing a wonderful job; she looks so happy.
@K8: Who could forget the Logelin Man Sandwich!?!?! LOLOLOLOLOL!!!! It was very polite of you not to bring it up at a moment when I’m sure it was on your mind! LOL!!!!
Uncle Buck is my favorite movie – and seriously an Uncle Buck Era John Candy?? TIGHT;)
I just read about the weenie mobile crashing into someones garage in MN. thank god you got a weenie driver with a lick of sense…it sure would have put a damper on the party with a weenie mobile sticking out of the front of your living room!!!!
v8grrl
ps could you please send your family to my house?…i have some chores also and I can pay in beer, whiskey in the form of Manhattens, and take out Thai.
That looked like you guys really had a great time. Congrats on raising money for the foundation. I wish we were in CA for it!! The last part of your post really made me tear up. I saw that picture when you added it to flickr and I thought the same thing. It’s so hard to believe how far you guys have come over the last year and a half. Your love for Liz is so strong and it shows in everything you do. Some people never get to experience that kind of love. Maddy is lucky that she will have such a great inspiration for her future. By the way, I think I found Madeline’s twin brother. A friend’s little boy really favors alot of her features! Crazy!
“pretty okay,” even “sort of” is better than feeling shitty, so I’m happy for you. Here’s to more sort of, pretty okay moments.
I’ve never commented (think first time caller, long time listner kinda thing)…but I enjoyed this post. The last two pics made me tear up some, they say so much about loss and life.
Hugs to ya, Daddy. You are doing such a great job, I’m thinking Liz would be so very proud of you both…:)
Looks like an amazing time, Matt. I didn’t cry until the very end your post. You got me.
-Amy
(mom of Aidan–14months)
Never commented before, but I am a long time reader. (I don’t know why any of that matters.) I just wanted to say that you are truly an inspiration, and the best daddy to that little girl.
I don’t know much about Photoshop or any of those programs, but I was thinking that it would be neat to superimpose Maddy into a picture of you and Liz (the last one of you and her that you posted comes to mind). Maybe it’s not something that would feel good to you, but it was just a thought when I saw the pictures of Maddy standing there by herself, and the photo of you and Liz. Thought it might be neat.
Hugs to you and cheers to the amazing job you are doing –
And for what it’s worth, I agree with Amy’s comment on “her” comments over at Flickr…. You keep up the good work – you are doing an AMAZING job.
@Lisa in the MN – hop over to http://www.thelizlogelinfoundation.org and click on events. There’s preliminary information about September’s Walk and Gala posted now.
Awesome pics! I remember about 9 years and 6 months ago, newborn at home, my mother is helping me and it’s below zero in February in Minnesota and the old school oil furnace has gone out. Grandparents rock in the help department! I saw in the Strib one of the last of the old school Oscar Mayer’s died in Madison, WI, at 90+ years and thought of these cute pics….I worked at the Ambassador Sausage Factory in college during the summer in NE Minneapolis…they also had a wiener mobile…not quite as cheery as the one featured here…only to say the vats of pig snouts are something I still have nightmares about..everything but the squeal, baby…Truth..
looked like a great day for an Oscar Mayer party!!! so cool that you and Madeline got to ride in that thing!
Those last two photos and words made me cry. You are doing great!
I’m so glad that the event was a hit! I love that you all got to rid around in it too! How fun!
I love those two last pictures too… very sweet and very sad…
Dude. That’s one.big.weiner. hahaha. Great post.
I know people tell you this all the time, but you are an amazing person. The love you have for you wife and you daughter is an inspiration to all. Congratulations on everything you are doing to keep your wife’s spirit alive, may you only have success!
I hope you never tire of hearing people tell you that you are amazing. To keep carrying on for your daughter is the best gift you can ever give her. She is an amazing girl and she has you to thank for making her who she is. She is absolutely lucky to have you and she may be to little to thank you or to show you but one day you’ll believe it.