32 used to feel
so old to me.
and it used to scare
me to
think of
things like average
life expectancy.
the promise of that
number brought little
hope, because it
never read,
“forever.”
not for any of us.
but 77.9 years for
you just didn’t
seem like enough…
and it’s unreal to
think that you came up
47.4 years
short of that promise.
and to think…
middle-aged at 15?
three years after
you reached middle age,
that’s when i became me.
and almost
18 months after
we got fucked out
of that 47.4 years,
i am still
me, but a different
me, thanks to
you.
and right now…
on the day
you would have
been 32,
i’m here,
in your home,
for another date,
one that i
don’t want to
acknowledge, at least
not without
you.
we shouldn’t be
here,
in your bedroom,
in your parent’s house,
no.
not without
you.
but i am.
and i will be.
and madeline…
she will be,
and she is.
and we are.
213 Comments
So it’s Liz’s birthday today? she was so young. Matt you’re in my prayers today and always. Your love for your family is a pure defination of love
Keep doing the wonderful job you’re doing
just beautiful matt. spend the day with liz’s loved ones celebrating the 30.5 amazing years she had.
I hope you manage to get through today and celebrate the years Liz was here with you. My thoughts will be with you today
It just plain sucks.
I am sorry.
Matt, as always, you make me cry, think and pray for you and Maddie. Your efforts to keep Liz alive for Maddie are unbelievably precious, as as so many have said before me, one day Maddie will be so glad for your words. Enjoy your weekend in MN, allow those who love you and Maddie and Liz to comfort and sustain you. May each day become just a tiny bit easier to walk, breathe, LIVE, and may you always remember the gift Liz was to you.
This must be a tough day for you. Take care.
I’ve been watching, praying, crying and rejoicing, buying shirts and feeling otherwise helpless…generally, lurking/creeping along with you and Madeline for months and months now.
As much as your writing calls to me I still somehow felt a ‘safe’ distance from your tragic world. Unexpectedly, I lost a very dear friend two weeks ago…she left a loving husband, a 5 year old son and a 9 month old daughter. — As much as I hate that the world closed in more all around me, I am so thankful that you have used your love for Liz in such a powerful way…I am excited to be able to ‘introduce’ her husband to your community. I hate that there’s a need…I hate that you can’t both still have your precious wives at your side…I am so sorry and wish with my whole being I could change it for you. But, thank you. Thank you for writing, and thank you for sharing it all with us.
~My ‘stroll through the garden’ will take place this afternoon (Hueytown, Alabama is a little too far away for me to join you this weekend!)…you and Maddy…as well as my friend’s family will be on the forefront of my mind with each step…and you all are continually in my prayers.
Matt, Thank you again for all you do and all that you are.
* hugs *
My heart aches for you, Matt. Hold Maddy tight today, and thank Liz for the most precious gift that she ever gave you. You are one terrific man, husband, daddy, and writer. Thanks for being in all of our lives,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
Happy Bday Liz! I think about you every day. Matt – so excited for your upcoming adventure. I can’t wait to hear the details. Extra hugs today. Maybe a trip to T&Co for Maddy
Happy Birthday Liz! Matt & Maddy, continue to celebrate the life that she had, the life that she gave. Continue to be strong, and to find happiness in the small details of the everyday. She is watching you guys.
Thinking of you and Maddie today.
I am so sorry for you and Maddie as well as Liz’s family and friends….life can be so cruel. Your love shines through so strong, for both of your girls.
nothing i could say is going to make it better so i’ll just say “i know.”
her memory and legacy lives on through you, maddie, and this blog. you are doing something magnificent. happy birthday liz!!!!
Asalamu Alaykom Matt,
I hear you. I feel the deal. Good expression of the pain.
Marking that day will never be easy. Do whatever you need to in order to make it through.
So sorry about what you’re going through, life isn’t always fair and unfortunately no one goes safe. I lost my mother when she was 42!!! I realize now( being myself older than that)how young she really was! Funny, today is my sister’s birthday as well. Be thankful for Liz’ life and that you were a part of it. She left you a great gift and in your heart she will live forever!!!
Hope you get all the support you need to cope with your loss…
Wishing you the best of luck in the future!!!
Wishing you peace on this difficult day. Keep on keeping on.
My heart breaks for you, but the love you and Liz had will live forever. Just look at the beautiful little girl you two created with that love. My thoughts are with you and Maddy today. Big hugs!!!
Happy birthday Liz. Such an amazing woman that would have done a hell of a lot more things with her life expectancy. She is doing things though even in her death. All of the lives she has touched. All of the people her foundation has helped out. What a great mommy that Madeline has to be proud of!
beautiful!
i feel so sorry for ya
I hate this for you Matt. A lot. But I am OK with the fact that we will all be gathered this weekend to toast Liz and to raise a shit load of $$$ to help others that have been fucked out of their dreams of ‘forever’ as well.
As always (((hugs))) to you and Madeline.
I wish it were different. Life is so harsh, sometimes so merciless, sometimes so painful. You are the father Liz dreamed you would be. Madeline is a special little girl. You are in my thoughts and prayers today.
Very touching post. You couldn’t give Liz a better birthday gift than the way you are raising Maddie, and all you do to make sure she has your memories of Liz. My grandmother died when my Dad was about 6 (he’s 88 now) and he has very few memories of her.
Wish I could give you a big hug…
This comment is to cover the last post and this new post:
Thank you for sharing these slices of your life with us. You, Liz and Maddy are amazing and knowing you all through your words has made me a better wife and mother.
oh jesus matt… jesus christ you were so robbed. you and maddy. i’m sorry. i’m so so sorry. for what it’s worth, my heart hurts for your heart today especially.
i HATE this month of september. for my own reasons, that you know. this month is like wading through quicksand for me… and then i read your painfully exquisite words. i’m given perspective. and i can take another step forward.
thank you for letting me walk with you.
HOLA Matt
My prayers and thoughts with you and Maddy today (and always)
You are such a great dad!
You should be proud of yourself!
Wishing you a great weekend and all the very best!
Besos y abrazos
Sol
Amazing Matt.
hope your event this weekend is successful. Liz would be so proud of you and her beautiful big girl!
Thinking of you.
So sad Matt… another day, another reminder of what is lost. But please… think on the years that she did have and think of the times you had together. And Maddie… think of her… she is Liz’s testament to the ages. Liz will always be around because of Maddie… she looks so much like her. I’m sure that’s both a blessing and a curse. Wishing you much peace and love on this hard day. love and hugs from NJ.
What a bittersweet day.. to say the very least. My thoughts are with you!
Thinking of you and Miss Maddy today ~ This weekend we toast to Liz – for her birthday today, and for all of her birthdays that didn’t come to be, but also, for all of the birthdays that she had – We will celebrate the woman that she was, and because of her, we will celebrate the woman that Maddy will become ~
xoxo
Lot’s of people around the world are thinking about you and your sweet Maddy today! Hold that precious girl tight and enjoy being with your/Liz’s family and friends!!
Take care Matt!
Happy Birthday Liz. God Bless Matt. Youre doing great.
Thinking of you and your family…
I’ll be thinking about you. Hang in there.
Beautiful, as always.
Your love for Liz is a beautiful love story that never gets old to read about!
I am so sorry that you are hurting right now, I am assuming its her Birthday today or yesterday.
My heart hurts for you guys!! You, Liz’s Mom and Dad, Awesome Deb and of course beautiful Maddy!
(which is weird bc we have never met)
But I am sure there are a lot of us out there hurting for you guys that have never met before!
On another note….
Have a great time on your 5k and at the Gala! I hope you guys kick ass in raising money for your foundation!!
My heart goes out to you and your family!!
Oh, Matt. Life just really sucks sometimes. I’m so glad for you to have that bundle of DNA to carry on some of those wonderful Liz-isms.
Happy Birthday to Liz and damn the universe for her not being here with you to celebrate it.
Hang in there Matt.
Thinking of you as you remember Liz on her birthday.
She is hearing your words Matt. She knows your love and is very proud of you. Beautiful words that you write. You are doing a great job with Maddy. Look at how she has grown and how healthy and beautiful she is. No one would do a better job than you have.
Thinking of you today. You are making her so proud by all of the wonderful things you are doing for Maddy. You are a great dad. See you on Saturday at the 5k!
birthday. (i won’t say, “happy”)
celebrate Maddy today…she’s the best and exactly what you need on a day like today: to remember to hug her a little tighter, and watch her a little closer as she’s doing some seemingly mundane activity, because it’s not mundane, any of it…
love
Teary at this…beautiful post. And so sad…can you feel her listening?
Thinking of you and Maddie today.
Praying for you and your families on such a painful day. I know you’d rather be sitting around having birthday cake with Liz and Maddie today instead of inspiring soooo many people daily, hourly….You are an incredible person, and father. Thank you for being you.
Cheryl
Happy Birthday, Liz! We miss you…
See you Saturday, Matt!
Thinking of you, Liz & Madeline today. Hope you can find something to smile at today …
nice that you can be with the people who loved her the most and continue to have a relationship for your daughter and yourself and them.
Thinking of you on what I am sure will be a hard day. Just remember, you are doing an awesome job & Liz is SO proud! Sending hugs for you & Maddie from rain soaked Tennessee!!
I’m sorry, Matt. I hope it brought you some peace to be surrounded by those who loved Liz as much as you did on her birthday.
Thinking of you today. My family and I are looking forward to honouring Liz on Saturday in our hometown version of the run. Hugs to you and Maddy.
Watch this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXCZQPs6vCs
(first line is about September 17).
I can’t imagine the horror of going through a birthday without the person whose birthday it is. These milestones must be so difficult. So sorry for everything. But still, it’s so awesome to see you and Maddie together and watch her thrive.
Celebrate her life today Matt… it’s a joyous day! Through her life she brought so much into yours… Thinking of you.
All the best this weekend with the events…lots of bitter…lots of sweet to be sure. My husband is working Saturday so the youngin’ and I may stop by Calhoun and make a donation….I’m sure you’d love to see two kids fighting and crying at your event. :0)
matt, you are doing a hell of a job. be proud of yourself. happy birthday sweet liz!
Sending hugs to you and Maddy on such a difficult day. Thankfully you are surrounded by the ones who love her most.
Today is my birthday too and I feel so proud to share this day with someone like Liz
I am praying for you today as always.
Love to you and your family today.
My heart cries for you and Maddie, today especially. Happy Birthday, Liz.
There’s nothing that I can say that you haven’t heard a million times already. But you are a great man, great father, and great husband.
You inspire me to take the time and look around once in a while, to take more pictures, hold loved ones closer and truly appreciate every second I have.
Madeline is lucky as hell to have a father like you, I wish I did.
Simply beautiful! A true love story of your family. Peace and only kindness coming your way.
Thinking of you all today.
Always thinking of you and sweet Madeline! What a dad she has….
Sorry to hear another milestone has arrived to make you miss Liz even more. Maddy is such a lucky girl that you will share and remember these milestones, even though sometimes painful, so that she can at least know her mom through you. (((hugs)))
Praying for you today! She left you the most beautiful gift of all. Hold her tight today.
With Love,
Shannon
Your little girl is blessed with an amazing and loving father. Keep it up, she us happy, healthy and whole, and will love her mother as much as you do.
Hugs & prayers to you & Madeline on Liz’s b-day..
Matt, That was written so beautifully. You are in my thoughts and prayers today as always.
Matt you are in my prayers. You are an amazing father for Madeline. She is blessed to have you
Matt, out of somthing so terrible you have turned this all around into a wonderful love story of life as it happens. Today is going to be the best day yet! So light those candles, and let us all celebrate what a wondeful day this day means to you. I shall buy balloons today and have the boys send them up to heaven for Liz and for all those whose birthday is today and is no longer with us.
My thoughts and prayers go out to you, Maddy and Liz’s family today. Just keep looking at your beautiful girl…she’ll make you smile, even on such a sad day.
I hope you find some comfort being in Liz’s old room, I know she’s smiling down on you, you are doing such a great job and are such a great man. I’m proud of you and I don’t even know you!! You F’in ROCK! Happy Birthday Liz!
Thoughts and prayers sent to you this day, and to all Liz’s family and friends.
Matt, the way you write these entries to Liz never fails to break my heart. You and Liz got a raw deal here. She deserved to live a long life and see her daughter grow up and grow old with you. I know nothing anyone can say can make anything better for you on this front, but I am glad you keep writing, because I think it must help you, and it will be an amazing testament to your wife for Maddy to read some day.
Sending you big hugs from Texas…hang in there.
That’s a beaut..buck up little camper hoping for a bit of peace today for you and that cute little girl.
You are truly an amazing person. Madeline is so lucky to have a great father. You will be in my thoughts today!
Hang in there, Matt. You’ll be in my thoughts and prayers today.
I wish there was something to say that would make today suck less.
I don’t know if it helps or not but your family is in my thoughts.
Matt, I know this is really f-ing hard for you everyday, but today even more than any other, just know that Liz lives one in you, Maddie & all of her family & friends. It’s great that you have all the great memories to share with one another. Keep her memory alive and she will live on for eternity. Thinking of you, & prayer that you find peace. xoxo Stephanie
Sending you strength and positive energies through the interwebs…
I have goosebumps reading this … it’s so scary to think that none of us know these “markers” for ourselves. Part of me wants to say something cliche like, “It reminds us to live life to the fullest,” which Liz certainly did (she’s just brimming with life in every picture), but the other part just wants to smash things because she’s not there with you. I’m sorry for yet another difficult day, Matt. Love and thoughts. ~~Formerly Lindsay from Fort Lauderdale … this new site won’t fit that name =) ~~
Thinking about you…You are so inspiring, your daughter is very lucky to have you.
as always, thinking of you & Maddy today
Happy Birthday to Madelins’s mommy.
Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.
Matt- to know that through death brings so much life should bring great comfort even in its irony.
Isaiah 54:10
“Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the LORD, who has compassion on you.
Wishing you much success with your upcoming gala- for the love of Liz.
Thinking of you and Maddie today. And though I am not a religious person, I do believe Liz is laughing today, watching you and Maddie, and she is so proud of you both.
I think it’s amazing to see how much love you have for Liz. It seems like such a rare thing these days.
Hope you and Madeline get to celebrate this day in a wonderful way and (even though you don’t believe in them) I hope Liz gives you a sign that she’s with you today.
Thinking of you and Maddy today and everyday.
Thinking of you today. I totally admire the strength you have to give Maddy the best she deserves.
Nothing to say except I’m sorry. Powerful post.
Thinking of you
I am truly sorry for the sadness today brings you. My hope is that the tradition you have started for Liz’s birthday will bring excited anticipation and joy in the coming years that will ease your pain and give you peace.
You are loved much.
beautifully written, as per usual
Can’t wait for your book!
I know you’ll be holding Maddy a little closer and tighter today. Have a wonderful weekend in the mn honoring Liz, and continue to be that amazing father you are!
It just sucks. So sorry.
Once again, your post brought tears to my eyes. Liz is with you and Maddy today and always. It is heartbraking. Hugs
hugs to your entire family. thinking of you today and always.
Oh crap. I think I’m going to have to go and hide in the bathroom and bawl.
My dad died when he was 38. The closer I get to that age (will be 30 this January), the more afraid I become of outliving him.
But when I think about his age if he were still here (would be 54), I can’t imagine him anything but 38.
You are such a great writer, Matt. My heart aches for you everyday…. Just know Liz must be so incredibly proud of how you are raising your little girl.
Words of support can never be enough. Know we are here for you, always! Whatever you need now and in the future. You know that…
Can’t wait to ROCK the walk, I may need CPR, will you have any paramedics standing by, or possibly pace cars? I may need a lift!!!
Just read this and now I can’t stop crying. It frustrates the fuck out of me that Liz is not here to see her beautiful daughter grow up. Life can be a bitch sometimes. You and Maddy are in my prayers today and everyday.
Thinking of you today.
Your strength is phenomenal, although I wish you didn’t have to use that strength and you could just be with her.
Crap…that one got me good.
I’m so sorry that you have to endure another day like today without Liz. I’m sorry that Liz, you & Madeline got screwed out of those other 47 years. It’s hard to imagine how anything like this could ever be for a reason, but it is….it was for a reason. You constantly amaze me at how well you have handled all that has been thrown at you. You’re an awesome husband & father and I know that Liz has to be SO proud of you!
Hope that this day goes by quickly for you and that this weekends events go well.
Happy Birthday, Liz….
Bonne Courage…
& I hope the run & Gala are a smashing success.
That was beautifully written.
Difficult to read as we felt your pain with each phrase, but beautiful just the same.
This has to be an extremely tough day.
God bless you and Madeline.
Hugs for you and Maddy on this day <3
Beautiful post, Matt.
With your talent and way with words I can’t believe that your original career wasn’t “writer.”
I’ll be thinking of you today, as always.
and we are with you too. in this virtual world of friendship where holding hands is equivilent to posting comments and stopping by, reading and supporting.
I hope today you find smiles behind a few hidden things!
and you are right, it is absolutely fuc@ed!!! It’s not fair and it’s not right. and it’s okay to want to scream about it, bitch about it and break things over it-
Hugs to you from all of us!
Thinking of all of you today. (((BIG HUGS)))
Beautiful.
I don’t have any words, just know that there is so much love out here in the world for you and your sweet Maddy.
Happy Birthday, Liz.
Birthdays are tough. Hers. Yours. Maddy’s. After a few years, they stab you in the heart a little less, but they never stop marking he insidious passing of time. How’s that for some light at the end of the tunnel? Remember the happy days my friend. And raise a glass to them.
Hi Matt,
Long time follower, never commented before. BUT…this entry has a lot of meaning and really struck me. My husband is 33 today. And I can NOT imagine life without him, or trying to raise my almost 2 year old solo.
You are doing an amazing job.
Happy Birthday to Liz.
I woke up this morning and the first thing I thought of was that today was her birthday and was glad that you and Maddy are in the mn not only with people who love you and her but also with people who love Liz too. Happy Birthday Liz and big hugs to you all today and everyday but I’m squeezing you all a wee bit tighter today. xoxoxoxo
Happy Birthday Liz! Matt, what a beautiful post! You are awesome! Hold Maddy a little tighter today and celebrate the years you had with Liz and share all of them great memories! Sending you hugs XX and thanks for sharing with all of us!
even though it really sucks today…..Happy Birthday Liz!!
your doing great matt. just remember that we all (your virtual family) care very deeply for you and maddy….always!!!
I was wrong …there is something I can say …I am inspired by your openess and candidness and look to you as who I can be in the future. So looking forward to the gala this weekend and celebrating the ones we have lost but continue to love unendingly and hold so very close.
Fuck. Shit. I’m sorry.
Happy Birthday Liz! Thinking about you, Maddy and your family today.
Thinking of you guys today as you celebrate the life of Liz.
Yup. You ARE. And Madeline IS. So much pain, but still…there’s so much to celebrate in that. (What do you want me to put on THIS cake?)
Good luck on the teevee today.
P.S. 32 felt old?? Oh, just you wait, sonny boy…
I didn’t know Liz, but from what I have read about her, I think she would be so proud of the wonderful job you are doing at raising her daughter, Maddy. I’m sure she probably teased you, just like you tease her, and would probably make fun of some of the stuff you are doing, but she would still be proud of how you stepped up to the plate and are doing an awesome job!
It’s so wonderful how you are also trying to help others that are in situations like yours, raising all this money in honor of Liz!
Celebrate her life today and remember all of the good times. It’s ok to mourn the loss, but try and stay focused on all the good she brought to the world! She wouldn’t want you to live your life in sorrow and would want you to always be happy. I can’t even imagine the pain you still feel. *hugs*
Happy Birthday, Liz!
Heart – ripped out. Beautiful post Matt. Happy Birthday Liz. You left behind some wonderful people to keep your memory and spirit alive.
the more i read from you, and the more i fall in love with your little girl’s actions (throwing the daily apple), babbles (ALL of them), and HUGE blue eyes, i can’t help but envy you the love you had, and have. it does not lessen my sorrow for your loss or current pain, but man, i wish/hope/dream to have someone mean that much to me and have me mean that much to him. what a mixed blessing …
So sorry that you have to face so many sad anniversaries without Liz. My heart breaks for you. You have done such an amazing job of keeping her memory alive.
** Thinking of you and Maddy on this day **
Your celebration of Liz and the day of her birth is truly exceptional! My thoughts are with you, family and friends who were fortunate enough to have had her in their lives
Beautiful. Happy birthday to your Liz.
Thinking of you and Madeline today. After reading your post, I am going to donate $32.00 to the Liz Logelin Foundation today. Take Care.
Beautiful post as always – your situation totally sucks, I hope you find you can love Liz “through” Maddy!
Oh, Matt. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what else to say. I’m so glad you have Maddie.
It’s just not fair. It’s not. My heart is hurting for you and I am thinking of you and your sweet baby. Liz would be so proud. heck I’m proud of you and I’m just a blog reader! You rock Matt. Try to celebrate a little today. I’m going to celebrate by donating…..
Matt – I’m crying my eyes out at work. I feel like such an ass…today is my husband’s 34th birthday. I was in such a hurry this morning I forgot to wish him a happy birthday until I got to work and saw it on my calendar. After reading your post I will make today a birthday he’ll never forget. Thank you for sharing. Sending love to you, Maddy, and Liz’s family today!
Keeping you and Madeline in my prayers today and wishing Liz a Happy Birthday. She and my son share a birthday =)
Wow…you are an amazing man, dad, and writer. Your words are always so real and touching. Thanks for always sharing your heart and pain with your readers.
I am 32 and a mother of 2 boys (one is just a little older than Maddy) and this really reminded me to live each day to the fullest.
Oh man….I have no words…but my tears flow as freely as yours are!
You’re in my thoughts and prayers today. I’m sorry she’s not here with you and Maddie anymore.
BEAUTIFULLY SAID.
it brought tears to my eyes.
I know you are sad, but I still want to wish your dear Liz a very happy birthday. She is still with you every moment, especially today on what would have been her 32nd birthday.
Happy Birthday to Liz. Your husband is a very wonderful man and father and your daughter is so precious beyond words. I know you are looking down from Heaven at them and sharing in the happy yet sad journey they have been on.
Matt- Thinking of you and Maddie today.
Oh God… Sometimes it hurts too much to read you. But I can only imagine how much you are hurting. Eres un hombre valiente. God bless.
HUGS!! Thinking of & praying for you & Maddy!
Hugs to you!!
*tears* I don’t know at all, aside from reading every entry you’ve written here. But my heart feels so broken for you, and for Maddie. I know she’s so little right now, so she isn’t feeling the pain that you’re feeling. But I know you are feeling it so much, so you’re feeling it for her as well. You’re getting her share of it.
Life is so unfair. That’s all there is to it. But I am sure that she’s still there with you, every single day. Watching Maddie grow up, and seeing what a wonderful job you’re doing of raising her.
I’ll be sending up some prayers for you today, like I do everyday. *lots of extra squishy hugs for everyone affected by her loss*
I can’t say anything others haven’t. I wish you and Maddy peace and gentleness today.
Happy Birthday to you Liz. Send a little strength Matt’s way today. Matt…thinking of you and Maddy today as I do every day. Keep being amazing.
Matt. Thinking of you guys today. Looking forward to the walk on Saturday. Even more of a reason to celebrate Liz’s life. Glad to be part of your movement.
Welcome home.
Happy Birthday to one of the most precious girls in your life! Thinking of you on this sad day!
It is interesting that they say the “average life expectancy” so that we can all sit back and live day to day “expecting” to live somewhere close to that. As we get older we come to find that the expectation is certainly not a “promise”… Many happy memories to you, Liz’s family and your family. Many kisses to Maddy.
Am about to go to hospital for a few days, dehydration and lack of energy. I’m so used to your blog and I will miss my favourite father/daughter team… Happy birthday to Liz, can’t wait to catch up with y’all. Much love
It’s my birthday today, too. I’ve been thinking of Liz, Madeline, and you all day today. I’ve tried to live and enjoy today more than any other day, to honor Liz, my fellow birthday buddy.
I’ll blow out my candles tonight and wish for you and Madeline’s happiness.
“When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.”
— Kahlil Gibran
Happy Birthday Liz! It’s hard but just enjoy your time with friends and family. Hug Maddy every chance you get. It will be like hugging 50% of Liz. She is your mini Liz and she will brighten your day.
Oh Matt…it is so damned unfair that you got cheated out of 47+ years.
Hugs to you both.
Shedding some tears for all three of you, Matt, and sending many, many, many good thoughts and wishes and hopes from Southern MN.
fuck.
I get extra pissed on Mindy’s birthday. Birthday’s were always a big deal for us. Our birthdays were exactly two weeks apart. Now they both suck; her’s and mine.
Your an inspiration…thank you for that.
Good for taking yourselves to be with family – all of you are missing Liz deeply. I am glad you have each other and thankful you can all see and enjoy Liz in little Maddy. Celebrate a wonderful woman, her life, her legacy, her smiles, her memory, spirit and loving nature. You are doing great Matt…awesomely great.
We are not the one you want, not the one you need, but all the same we are here for you.
Sorry…..
Hugs!
Matt,
I’m sorry you were cheated out of spending another 47.4 years together. I’m sorry.
Celebrate Maddy. Celebrate life. Celebrate Liz. Celebrate your love for one another. You are and always will be, a family.
Sending you lots and lots of hugs.
I think birthdays are so wonderful to reflect on what the person brought to everyone who loved them the most. Especially thinking of you, Maddy, and Liz’s parents and sister. As you are a parent, it must take your breath away when you also think of the loss for Liz’s Mom and Dad.
Be kind to each other today.
Happy Birthday, Liz. Matt & Maddy, thinking about you on this special day. Stay strong!
I’m sorry that another milestone day has come around to remind you of what you’re missing. It just plain sucks. It can’t be easy to deal with, my heart is heavy for you today. You are such an inspiration Matt. Always thinking of you and your special little girl.
Tomorrow is my 32nd birthday. My husband and I have an 18 month old daughter. The story of what you have been through is a reminder to me of the unexpected turns life can take. A reminder that you can end up walking a path you never fathomed. I am so sorry for the loss of Liz and the fact that days that should be happy bring you some sadness. Maddie is beautiful. Keep up the great work you are doing as her Dad despite a really crappy situation.
You and Madeline are always in my thoughts and paryers. Extra hugs today!
Debbie
Happy birthday, Liz.
You write so beautifully. God bless you.
Today is my birthday as well.
It’s a good day. Please know that.
9.17 birthdayers are good people.
Man, I love looking at pictures of that beautiful girl. She makes me think so much of her lovely mom. And now to hear she acts like her just cracks me up and warms my heart. Happy birthday to the lovely Lizzy. Always thinking of you guys…
AMy and Emily
Happy Birthday, Liz! Looking forward to running in your memory this weekend and seeing the rest of the family.
Love,
Tony
There are no words…*Hugs*
When I realized that Liz and I share a birthday it made me feel… pretty guilty.
I’m sorry that you and Maddy have to spend this day without her. And I’m very sorry that she’ll never get to hear her baby tell her “happy birthday, Mommy.”
I think the two of you should turn it into a holiday. Just another reason to celebrate Liz with Maddy, and remind her that she has a wonderful mother. Besides, September 17th is a lovely day… at least in my opinion.
When is your birthday, Matt?
Today is a hard day for you but imagine how hard it must be for Liz’s parents. You are a great husband/father and even a GREAT SON-IN-LAW. I am sure it is very hard for you to be at Liz’s parents house without her but having Maddy spend time with them on Liz’s B-day is a great thing for her family and I am sure Liz is so proud of you for being such a great guy. Like someone said above today you will celebrate the life Liz had although cut way too short and you shall always continue to celebrate the life she gave. It’s so strange that Liz died after giving birth and Jackie died after giving birth. Liz’s birthday is today September 17th and Jackie’s Birthday is September 27th. We are celebrating Jackie’s 38th Birthday in 10 days. We are spending the day with her mom who is having a mass said for Jackie then a trip to the cematary where we will release 38 white Balloons. I will bring an extra pink one for Liz. Once again sorry I was such a ball buster the other day with the picture e-mail, I know you are doing all you can and we really do appreciate it. Good Luck this week-end with your 5K walk and your Gala. And Once again I am attaching the video I made of Liz, Maddy and You. Happy Birthday Liz.
Rosann
http://www.onetruemedia.com/shared?p=96a06e4acb27b3ffe21607&skin_id=601&utm_source=otm&utm_medium=email
Can’t wait to see you on Kare 11 tomorrow! Good to have you in Minnesota!
And what a beautiful post. Since April 2008 I have been reading your writing and it is so captivating! Thank you for sharing your story!
:..(
I think she looked like the happiest person in all her pictures. Really and truly happy. Although it was WAY too short she really seemed to live her life to the fullest. What an honor it must be to have been one of her greatest sources of joy Matt….thinking of you dear one.
Words really cannot express emotions…but, I just keep coming back to this, I once heard it and think of it from time to time….
“We knew looking back on the tears it would bring laughter, but we had no idea looking back on the laughter it would bring tears.”
Happy Birthday in heaven Liz!I am sure Matt is brought to tears not only because he misses you, but from some of the crazy shit you two did together. I did not know you, but from what he writes, you were a pretty cool MN girl!
Thinking of you today! Hug Maddy for me!
Matt, you are quite an amazing person and an even more amazing father. maddy is so very lucky to have you in her life, and i’m sure she already knows that.
i can’t even begin to imagine how you feel or the things you go through on a daily basis, but just know that there are so many people supporting you and what you do.
maddy is so beautiful, just like the pictures you’ve shown of liz. it’s so great that you are able to see liz shine through in maddy, and i’m sure she will take great comfort in that when she’s older.
keep on doing what you’re doing, you’re great!
This post blew me away. The pain and the loss in this post blew me away…
I’m heartbroken for you, Matt. I can’t even express it. Know that people care and want to see you and Maddy have a wonderful life.
*HUGZ* to you, Maddie and Liz’s family today and always! HAPPY BIRTHDAY Liz….my heart aches for you guys today, as the reality of the situation really hits home….I turned 31 6 days ago and as I look at my 2 kids, my daughter who is only 4 months older than Maddie, my heart breaks for all that Liz SHOULD be enjoying and not missing!! Her legacy lives on through you, your blog and all the memories of her Mom that you will share with Maddie….she is truly closer to her Mom than anyone and Liz’s spirit lives on in that beautiful little girl. Take Care on this day Matt….and know that we are all thinking of you guys!! Give your best girl an extra big squeeze today!!
Matt hate to see you having soo much pain on a day that brought me such great joy…my little girl turned one today…you are a wonderful man and I hate knowing what pain days like today brings you…good luck to you and Madeline..she’s one of the luckiest little angels Iknow!
Happy Birthday to Liz. Hang in there Matt. You’re doing a wonderful job with everything.
I just saw on KARE11 that you and Maddy will be on tonight at 10pm. Can’t wait to watch.
~ Angie
Hi Matt,
Welcome back to the MN! Great, great post. Gut wrenching, but wonderful at the same time, that you celebrate Liz’ life and the life of your daugher!.
I will be watching KARE 11 this evening for the Extra report on you and your family.
My heart is breaking for you. You and Maddie are in our prayers! btw… how you do this is awesome.. awesome and tough but very wonderful.
You’re just all over the news this week!
Here are two links:
http://www.twincities.com/ci_13360612?source=most_viewed
http://www.kare11.com/news/news_article.aspx?storyid=824619&catid=368
Thinking of you. (((hugs))
Matt please go to this site http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/brienneheroux she was a Stillwater MN police officer who just had a baby and ended up getting HELLP rare disease which is attackes you renal organs and blood platlets. She just gave birth end of August to little Leland who was born with his bladder on the outside but has since had surgery and is recovering. She was taken off life support and now her husband Andy is in the same boat as you, to raise a newborn all by himself because of something rare that happened during childbirth. Maybe you can reach out to him in the days ahead since you have been down that road. There is also another huband that lost his wife Thursday night when a 16 year old driver hit her from behind as she was out walking with her 3 month old daughter in the stroller. She was able to push the stroller out of way and Zoe was not hurt but she died of severe head trama, she was only 33. http://www.kare11.com I wish that I had the power to stop all of this pain for people, sometimes life is just not fair, I hope that you all find strength in eachother. I find you all very heroic to carry on you have very strong angels on your side.
Pretty cool to see you on Twin Cities Live, and looking forward to the Kare 11 extra. Send out the message!
Keep up the awesome work. My friends comment often about your successful fatherhood story, and how it is so inspiring. I wish things would be different for you, but you are making the best out of your tragic situation.
Thinking of you
Happy Birthday to Liz… Matt, I’m sorry you have to go through this. Good luck with all your future endeavors. Take Care.
I know you get a lot of compliments on the way you are raising Maddie…so I don’t mean to bore you with another one – but I have to do what I have to do. There are many reasons why I think you are a great Dad, but the one that stands out the most to me is how you spend the “hard” dates (anniversary, birthday, etc…) with your in-laws. I am a Mom and I know how much that has to mean to them to have you and Maddie with them on the days that are horrible for them too. I am sure people forget how much those days effect Liz’s family too. Maddie might not realize what is going on but she greatly benefits from the visits too. You’re a great guy and I love that you reach out to those you love…it’s a great attribute.
I just watched the video coverage of your Twin Cities Live appearance — great job! Good questions and you looked so comfortable in front of the camera. Maddy was adorable, as always.
BTW, the new beard looks great. Keep it. I bought an extra gala ticket just to see you shave it… but you look better with it.
I heard this song today and could not help think of you. Give it a listen.
http://www.lala.com/#album/1225260573703693858
I heard this song today (Woke Up New by The Mountain Goats) and could not help but think of you and Madeline.
Give it a listen.
http://www.lala.com/#album/1225260573703693858
I am so sorry. Happy Birthday to the most gorgous angel of them all. Hugs
Thinking of you guys…hoping for an awesome turnout for your events this weekend. We will be in our neck of the woods, walking and supporting you from afar.
Best Wishes.
Peace.
I can only imagine how you’re feeling, I bet it fucking sucks.
Matt- I’m so sorry that you and Maddy have to do this without Liz. My thoughts are constantly with you, even though I don’t know you. When I look at my ten month old son, I think of how brave you are to tackle this life with Maddy alone. You’re doing an amazing job! Keep up the good work.
Great post. You are a very talented writer.
Saw Maddy’s art on the twitter pics. I don’t have a twitter account, but I think your foundation should make some notecards out of those and sell them. If I lived in MN or nearby I would bid, but I would totally love those as notecards. Just an FYI. Take care, M
Matt, I’ve been reading your blog for quite some time now I am so captivated by the way you are able to get your feelings across. You’re an awesome writer and I can’t wait to read your book. You are so very inspiring to me as I am a young mother, and to think that if you are able to get through the toughest of tough times as well as you are I know that I can, too. Keep writing I’ll keep reading. Much Love, RoseAnn from NJ.
You have looked great all over the news these past couple of days. I think it’s great that you’re getting the word out for the foundation!
Hi Matt,
Heard you, Liz & Maddy’s story when your new reality began. I live in Minnesota and saw you on Kare11 last night. I could have stayed up all night reading your blog. My mom passed away when I was 11 in a car accident. Your one post about making it through another 25th struck a cord with me. Now it’s usually just Feb. 12 and the Valentine’s holiday. I’m married now with two little ones of my own, but my mind constantly is waiting for the other shoe to drop. I’m not sure if it’s worse when you have experienced tradgedy or not. My mind seems to go one step further when you worry like parents do.
Anyway I will continue to follow your blog. You are an amazing writer, and a strong and courageous man. Your photos are spectacular for someone who claims not to know what they are doing! The images show the love you have for your beautiful little girl. Amazing the resemblance to her mommy!
Take care and I will keep you & Maddy in my prayers!
Just hugs, tears and love for you & Maddy today. Your always in my thoughts. My heart still breaks for what you have to endure on every special day. I’m so sorry.
Happy Birthday to one of the most beautiful women in the world, your beautiful wife Liz, Maddy’s Mommy.
I’m so proud of how you are raising that little girl. I’m so proud of all the changes you have made in this world because of your loss. It’s just too bad that you had to have it.
I cry every time I read this blog, whether it’s happy tears or sad ones like today, you always tug on those heartstrings!!!!!
Oh Matt I can hardly see the keyboard to write this to you for the tears blocking my vision and dripping down my face.
I often wonder if you read all these comments, they would be hard for you but you are loved and Maddie is loved by the whole world. You are amazing and I, in Australia, read your posts with a great sadness but also with joy for Maddie in having such a wonderful, loving, kind and adorable Daddy. Hugs to you both. Wendy xx
Happy bday Liz. Very sad story, but your blog is great.
I just wish so badly that you two could of had your forever.
I am so sorry that you both don’t have your “forever” – you are a beautiful man raising a beautiful daughter and we are all here when you need us..