i’ve seen these before.


see these garlands?

one time

when your mom

came to visit me

here in bangalore,

she was presented

with one of these

huge things.

i’ve mentioned before

that she was

pretty short,

well, this thing

was way

taller than her

and it weighed about

20 pounds.

but my driver

insisted that she

wear the thing.

she would look

at me with this

look of terror,

not wanting to

offend akbar,

but almost unable

to stand up

under the weight

of this thing.

liz and akbar right after she got off the plane.


wearing a 20lb necklace.

i was a jerk

(but a joking jerk).

i just put

my finger up to

my lips

and said, “shhhh!”

(like i do to you sometimes)

just because i

knew that she

would rather be

uncomfortable than offend

someone she just met.

by the time

we got back to

the apartment,

the same building you’re

sleeping in at

this exact moment,

akbar suggested

that she wear the

garland again so

he could snap

a few photos.

of course she did,

but this time


insisted that i

help her.

of course i did.

liz and me in my apartment in bangalore.

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