i’ve mentioned a few
times, some of
the reasons why
we’re here.
and though you
may be a little
too young to
remember everything
that you’re seeing
and doing,
this is still an
invaluable trip for
you.
you’re taking things in.
you’re learning.
you’re discovering.
and you’re here
with me.
in a place i
need to be,
helping me.
so yeah.
i guess you could
say that this
trip is mostly
for me,
your selfish father,
and that’s kinda true.
i needed this,
and i needed it
at this time,
and i needed
you.
but…
we will
come back here,
as often as
you want,
as you grow up,
when you can
take a break
from your busy
teenage and adult lives
(i don’t want to get in the way).
’cause there’s no
such thing as
a once in
a lifetime trip.
and that’s the
beauty of this.
we have the rest
of our lives
to visit and revisit,
and we’ll do it
so you can
feel what i feel,
so i can
feel what you feel.
so we.
so we can feel
what we felt,
before this
we existed.
that’s my pledge to
you.
so this trip?
what are we
doing? well, that’s
best summarized
by the words
of d.b.
“i remember her
and i remember him
i remember them
i remember then
i’m just rememberin’
i’m just rememberin’
just rememberin’
i’m just rememberin’”
17 Comments
So true, Matt. There really is no such thing as once in a lifetime! You are giving Maddy such a wonderful and important gift.
Beautifully written (as always), as I’m sitting here trying not to cry like a baby!
I don’t think I can say it enough, but you ARE and amazing father.
I don’t think this trip is selfish at all. In fact, I think it is just the opposite. You are rebuilding your life …you are facing your past so that you can find happiness in the wake of your tragedy.
You are building memories of Liz for Maddie…places that they have both been that will connect them and journaling your love story for her so that Maddie will know the love that created her.
So while this trip may be healing for you…it is the greatest gift you will ever give Maddie.
Find joy. Find peace.
Be Happy.
You are so right Matt….no such thing as a once in a lifetime trip…even though she may be little, she is learning lots from this trip and you are giving her such amazing experiences…you two will go on many exciting adventures throughout her lifetime, and on each one she will learn more and more about the amazing parents she has!!
Your words are so awesome I can hardly wait for the whole book of words to be published! Your writings, as good as they are, don’t come close to the kind of father you are to Maddy. Absolutely incredible. You are one of the best fathers I have ever heard of. Can’t say I know you but through your words I sometimes can see how good of a daddy you are. Maddy looks at you like no other and that is all that needs to be.
Beautiful words! How lucky you both are to have one another! And how right you are…Maddy is learning so much about the people of the world, about you, about Liz and more importantly, she is learning more and more about herself and who she is in the world through your guidance and through these experiences! Best wishes to you, Rachel and Maddy as you continue to explore India! Thanks again for sharing it with all of us!
Liz
your words perfectly describe this trip for you two. The picture is perfect too, you are watching her discover this amazing place.
not “moving on” just “moving forward.”
oh gosh … I think that’s one of the most beautiful things you’ve ever written.
You realize you contradict yourself, yes?? One moment you say that you are her selfish father, and in the next you say you don’t want to get in the way of her busy life. I don’t think it’s selfish at all, what you’re doing, sharing those places and those feelings with Maddy. One day, even though she doesn’t understand it right now, it will be exactly what she needs too.
I think that early childhood experiences shape us more than we will ever understand. I’m certain Maddy is soaking up this journey in deep and meaningful ways.
Sometimes I don’t know how you do it Matt – remember and feel. Of course you can’t avoid it either. But to embrace it head on, so bravely . . . it’s admirable. It’s more than that. It’s deep, real and so moving. I too am looking forward to the book and hearing you read from it when you come to Seattle on your book tour.
That’s such a touching entry. You can feel the love you have through your words, not just your photos.
“No such thing as a once in a lifetime trip”–That’s just so awesome to hear…. Take Care.
There are so many RIGHT things about this trip to India. The least of them, but so amazing, is giving Maddy exposure to so many people in such an open way. I think you are raising her to love everyone, be open to new things, and to see people of so many different cultures as equal and a part of her history. What could be better than that?
oh man, that song gets me.
When I read what you write, it warms my heart , I just saw you on “Rachel Ray”, on Swedish television, and searched for your blog.
And I can honestly say that I think you are the best father I’ve ever seen . 
Caroline