that should have
been us,
three, sitting in the
courtyard, you being
fed by her,
me shooting
photos until the
battery died or the
camera card
was full.
instead, i watch
them through the sunglasses
that hide the
tears that flow,
flowing because i’m
writing about the
moment that
she
died.
and there they
are, where we
should be,
enjoying a quiet
lunch together,
as a family
of three.
three we’ll never
be, but two,
yes two.
a family, but
not the one
i would have
taken for granted
if she
were here,
making you eat
your lunch while i
put the camera down
and checked my blackberry
for new messages,
just like that
guy over there.
i wanna tell him,
tell them,
how lucky they
are, but i don’t think
they’ll listen.
he’s too busy,
she’s too focused.
maybe i’ll write
this on a napkin
and drop it
on their table
on my way out
the door…
7 Comments
Did you?
Your writing is coming along beautifully.
I hope you did. It would be a gift that family will never forget. It could change their current perspective and open their eyes to a beautiful blessing. Your blog, your photos, your journey, your moment-by-moment love for your little girl….oh, what that could do for an unsuspecting family that you care about. Because you do care….because you are living it and you *know*…..
As if your blog isn’t enough of a reminder — this post reconfirms what I know to be true and hold dear.
Enjoy India. Lovin’ the pics.
Erica
beautiful words as always…
This post is heartbreaking. Writing this book must make everything raw and fresh again.
I’m so sorry.
On another note, Matt’s blog has a B-Side. Neat.
I do that …I watch couples/families, sometimes with so much envy and sometimes with disgust. All the hopes and dreams lost …
When you feel the urge to do this, to leave a note, to say something…DO. Maybe they won’t take your advice, but I am betting 9.5 out of 10 times they will. It will have an impact. We all need wake up calls like that sometimes.
I wonder if you know- even as so many of us tell you- how amazing you are at expressing everything and what a beautiful job you are doing with Maddy. You are an inspiration for so many reasons. Just keep being you, doing what you are doing. And thank you for sharing.