that last week or so.

we’re back

in los angeles after

a little over a month

in various places,

and we’re settling into

our routine.

a short walk before daycare.

talking about something.

what have we been doing?

a lot.

we’ve had lots

of play time

playing on the chair.

reaching for the camera.

some cleaning

using my new camera to appreciate my ridiculously clean house.

dusting the frame.

cleaning.

and a lot

of talking…

maddy is back at

daycare, which has

been good for her,

but it has been

tough for me.

last week, when i

arrived to pick her

up, she looked

at me from her little chair,

her chest up against

the table, tomato sauce

all over her

face and sweatshirt,

a couple

of noodles hanging from

the right corner

of her mouth, and a

huge, pursed-lip smile on

her face.

she dropped her

fork and yelled,

“daddy! daddy!”

it was such

a great feeling,

because while we

were in mn, the bahamas

and mexico, she

learned that she

could get my attention by

yelling, “matt! matt!”

(because that’s how almost everyone else addresses me)

and i’ve spent the

last few weeks

trying to convince

her that she has been

calling me by the

wrong name

(it seems that i’ve succeeded for now).

i hunched down,

trying to get to

her level as

she tried to push

herself away from

the table, the chair

tipping backwards.

i put my hand on the

back to keep her

from falling over, and helped

slide the chair out from

under the table.

maddy swung her

legs in my direction,

and that’s

when i noticed that

she was wearing

a pair of camouflage pants.

i dressed her that

morning, as i do

every morning,

and i know

that i didn’t

put her in

those pants.

in fact, i buy

most of her

clothes, and i know

that she doesn’t even

own a pair of

camouflage pants.

when she stood up,

it was even more obvious

they weren’t hers,

because they were

way too big for her,

the cuffs rolled up

and the waistband loose

around her waist.

i looked at

one of the daycare

employees and said,

“uh…i don’t think these are her pants.”

he looked at

me with

a perplexed look and said,

“are you sure?”

yeah.

i was pretty sure.

i looked at

all of the kids

sitting around the table,

trying to find

the kid

with jeans that

were a little too short.

and there he was…

maddy’s best buddy,

the little boy

i’m convinced she’ll

be dating when they

hit their teen years

(i can only hope they’ll hold off that long),

the bottom

of maddy’s jeans

falling just below

the middle of his thighs.

pointing at the little

guy, i said,

“i think i found them.”

the daycare guy

laughed a bit,

and offered up an

idea of how the

pants were switched,

something about nap time,

or diaper-changing time

or something like that,

but i wasn’t

really listening…

i was too busy laughing.

speaking of clothes,

this kid of mine

is really getting into them.

she loves hoodies,

yelling at me

to “zip it!” and to

put her hood on,

and she refuses to

take them off

at nap/bed time.

she gets really excited

about wearing shoes,

and every morning she

chooses her

pair for the day.

she even lets

me put clips in her

hair, though

they rarely stay in

longer than 20 minutes.

and me?

well, my final,

and most important

deadline for the

book is coming up

at the beginning of

april, so

i’m working my

ass off to get

it done.

to quote a friend

of mine,

“this writing shit is hard.”

but it’s coming

along quite well,

and i’m excited to

be done.

this weekend…

we spent the

weekend waiting out

the rain,

sun through the clouds.

clouds.

only to

be rewarded with this:

rainbow.

running from the rainbow.

and the next day

went on a hike

to enjoy

the kind of

los angeles day

we rarely see

(one with clear, smog-free skies).

los angeles.

tree.

los angeles.

walking.

looking at the mountains.

too cool for me.

running.

madeline passed out

when we reached

the bottom of

the hill,

out.

i got a couple

of photos of

her, but this one:

out.

brought back a memory of

this one:

out.

(taken on sept. 14, 2008).

she’s wearing the same glasses

(they now fit a lot better)

and she just happened

to be wearing

green in both photos.

it was a reminder of

just how

far she has come.

and maybe

how far we’ve come.

and tonight,

at the

bottom of a

pair of pajama pants,

were a pair of

shoes that are

a couple of

sizes too big

(she insisted on wearing them),

she sat at her

piano and played me some music.

watching her,

i was

thankful for where

we are.

Copyright © 2007-2012 matt, liz and madeline. All rights reserved. This blog may not be reproduced on any other site without the expressed written consent of Matt Logelin.