i’m still awake,
a fit of creativity
has settled upon
my brain, and has
translated into
eight fingers and two
thumbs, working to pound
out the
words i’ve struggled
to find.
tonight i spoke to
one of my best
friends in the world,
and she
cried for us.
happy tears,
knowing,
evident in the smile
in my photos,
the words that i
write and the sound
of my voice,
that i am
the happiest i’ve
been in a very long time.
and she knows
you’re to blame,
and for that she cried.
so sleep…
because i will
be awake, writing
about the past,
ready for the future.
20 Comments
I found your Easter egg!!
Great to hear you’re the happiest you’ve been in a while! Can’t wait to read the book! D
Beautiful. I can’t wait to read your book. I’m also very happy that you are happy.
I am so glad you have happiness in your life. You & Maddy deserve it. It’s amazing how our children bring so much joy into our lives. Be well.
HA HA! I found one! So glad you are happy right now.
Yet another nook and cranny of your thoughts laid bare, eh? Thank you, as always, for sharing so much. I’m so glad you’re embracing these good feelings, and hope that they persist – and bloom exponentially – to carry you through next month.
And I hope you did leave that note for the trio you watched (from the earlier entry here). Giving them the chance to see you as you saw them would have been a tremendous gift – one I’m sure you yourself would have appreciated “before,” even though (most of the time anyway) you don’t seem to have needed the reminder to cherish what is. Take care. xo
I’m glad you are happier Matt. I could tell. For those of us that aren’t there yet, what helped change things or improve things? Is it even something you can identify or just a result of the fact that you kept moving, kept living?
@Seattle Kate
just kept living…
i couldn’t have said it better.
my trip to india with madeline was a huge part of getting me to where i am right now.
but it wasn’t really india, ’cause i think i could have been anywhere.
it was traveling, and enjoying time with her.
And you were making new memories with her – watching her learning about her world while bringing the past and present together. You have seen her embrace it joyfully and innocently. Your words and pictures brought a fresh, hopeful view to us, also. You are teaching your baby girl to love life! And what a wonderful gift you give her daily: a daddy’s love that is deep and true. I am so proud to call you friend. Thank you for sharing yourself and showing us how to survive.
Love. It.
So glad for your rays of happiness coming through. Have never wanted so much happiness for someone (someones – Maddy too) I’ve never met.
Beautiful words. Beautiful sentiment. Beautiful girls. Thanks for sharing them with us.
So glad you found happy! You have been wearing it well!!
You have such a gift. Incredible.
You have been looking happier in photos–especially ones of the two of you. Your eyes smile more now.
I’m so glad that you’re finding some happiness in your life. You certainly deserve all the happiness in the world.
This is quite the journey you are on, thank you for sharing that with us here and in your book.
I noticed your smile a couple weeks ago. Something changed and I knew it was for better. From a stranger in Maryland, I’m thankful for your happiness, because you are showing all of us what it means to truly live.
Good luck with the rest of your writing, and I’m a big fan of Guru energy drinks to help me through writing…
Your happiness is making me cry… go figure.
Many months a go my daughter was with me as I looked around here and she saw photos of Maddy and asked “why is she sad?” I said “’cause her daddy is sad” and she said “oh, yeah…” I’m going to show her the latest photos (specially the ones from Christmas time, that Santa was weird…) so she can see things have changed…
so glad you are feeling happy, kids have a way of doing that to us don’t they?
So glad that you are feeling so good! As another commenter said, I too have never wanted happiness so much for someone that I don’t even know.
I’d been following along piecemeal here and there, but over the past week, I forced myself to begin at the beginning, before everything went to shit for you guys.
In the course of a week (man, I’ve not been very productive at work thanks to you guys), I’ve been able to watch the transformations in both you and Maddy in fast-forward and today I just felt really happy for you. I know it’s been a long, hard road, and there’s lots of road left to walk, but you’ve got a gorgeous little girl there to walk it with!
And in the meantime, I’ve had the privilege of reading an incredible love letter to the two main women in your life. Amazing.
“tonight i spoke to
one of my best
friends in the world”
Were you referring to Brooke, Maddy or someone else? My guess is Brooke but I may be wrong.
You guys all read this completely different then I did. I don’t think he’s talking about Maddy, I think he’s talking about Brooke.
And Matt, I’m so pleased you found happiness
The way I read it… I thought he was writing about himself, Liz, Maddy, and Brooke. I could be way off, but that’s my interpretation.
Only he knows for sure.