last weekend.

last friday i

went to maddy’s daycare

to pick her up,

and i found her

and a boy,

sitting on the floor,

listening intently as one

of the daycare workers

read them a story.

madeline turned her

head when she heard

my footsteps behind her

“daddy! sit! daddy! sit!”

she said, as she

patted the ground next

to her.

i sat down and

waited until the

last page was turned.

then we sat through

it two more times

when the daycare employee

indicated that reading time

was over, maddy grabbed

the book from him

and returned it

to the bookshelf.

i was so proud to

see her so patient

and so quick to

clean up.

as she headed to the

the bookshelf, the daycare

employee said,

“she’s so great during story time; she always sits here without moving. but in circle time, when it’s time to sing and dance, she doesn’t participate.”

“really? she sings in the car and dances at home all the time.”

“yeah. she likes to stand outside of the circle and watch the rest of the kids.”

“what kind of music are you playing and singing?”

before he could

answer the

question, i realized

what the problem was…

i have created

a music snob.

i saw her going

down this road,

so in the past

few months

i’ve introduced some

kids music into her

life, mostly via

yo gabba gabba

and classic disney films,

(i’ve been buying lots of soundtracks for her lately)

but damn.

my kid is so much

like me.

i can just see her

standing outside the

circle thinking,

“damn. this music sucks, and there’s no way i’m gonna dance to it.”

looks like i’m gonna

have to further curb

the depressing indie shit

when she’s around.

friday night we

listened to some happier

indie shit,

and played with her train set.

playing with her train.

train!

playing.

then she demonstrated

how well she

can clean up her toys.

cleaning up.

this was a funny thing to watch.

this weekend our

friends mark, jeffra

and mckenna came

into town for a visit.

before they got to

the house on saturday afternoon,

i decided

(against my best judgement)

to trim maddy’s hair.

she’s been long

overdue for a

haircut, and for the

past two weeks she’s

been trying hard

to look through her bangs

to see the world

around her.

so on saturday morning

i could handle it

no longer.

i convinced her to sit

still long enough

for me to make

an attempt at

helping her see.

as i went in

for the first cut,

i thought,

“this is a really bad idea.”

i put the scissors to

her hair, just above

her eyebrows, then for some

reason i worried about

poking out her eyes,

so i moved the scissors

up another quarter inch.

and then i cut.

and she moved.

and my heart sunk.

crooked, jagged, uneven, rough

or a couple

other synonyms that

would describe her

hair, but i can

sum things up and

tell you that

i fucked up.

but i wasn’t done.

no.

i decided i should

try to even them out.

so i tried.

and i made things worse.

so much worse.

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now every time i

look at her

i see my failure

as a father.

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but there’s lots of

good news…

1. it’s just hair and it will grow back (eventually).

2. she won’t remember this.

3. she’s too young to be made fun of, so there should be no lasting psychological damage.

4. she now looks like many of the hipster women in our part of town.

5. the hair clips help to conceal the damage.

4402600790_57d409295c.jpg

mark and jeffra

were speechless when

they arrived, and i

removed the clips from

her hair.

i told them

not to bring it

up the rest of the weekend.

we decided to

head down to the

aquarium in long beach

so the girls could

have some fun.

the girls had a

spent the afternoon

looking at the sea creatures

buds.

watching the jellyfish.

watching the jellyfish.

not a fish.

and madeline kept

touching her head

to make sure i

hadn’t cut any more hair.

checking to see if it's all still there.

the rain stopped,

so we went outside

and walked through

the lorikeet forest

watching the birds.

where jeffra and mark

fed the birds

watching.

waiting for a birdemic.

reaching.

i decided against

feeding them

because i’d been here

before and i know

how nasty those

little bastards can be.

after joking all

day about a birdemic,

mark experienced one

of his own,

getting attacked by

a lorikeet that actually

took a chunk

out of his arm

and his ear.

4401896459_d6ba827198.jpg

enough of that.

after a walk through

the rest of the

aquarium, we drove

back to the house,

where jeffra stayed home

with the girls

and mark and i

went downtown

to see a show.

4402678384_c26da9d4a1.jpg

(got some tickets at the door…the ones i bought never arrived).

had a nice night

in a beautiful venue,

listening to the la philharmonic

play some great selections

that fit surprising

well with the

music of the dirty projectors.

got home earlier

than i expected,

said goodbye to

our friends and

spent the rest of

the night writing.

sunday, a beautiful

southern california day

that demanded we

spend it outside.

we settled on one

of our favorite spots

in the area,

a place where the

girls could splash

splashing.

playing with mckenna.

splashing.

and run wild.

running.

running with mckenna.

running.

running.

singing.

running.

running.

maddy picked some flowers

picking flowers.

then came close

to passing out

from exhaustion.

sitting.

that night i cooked

dinner for our guests

then sent them

on their way with

some music and

some candy.

i continued my

quest to finish

my book as

madeline slept.

before i went to

bed, i quietly opened

her door to

check in on her.

it’s not something i

normally do, but

that night i needed it.

there she was,

on her stomach,

sleeping next to her

favorite plush toys.

it was well after 4:00am,

and i knew that

she would be up

in three or four hours.

but no matter how little

sleep i get,

there’s nothing better

than waking up

to her yelling, “daddy! daddy!”

now if only her

bangs would grow out.

Copyright © 2007-2012 matt, liz and madeline. All rights reserved. This blog may not be reproduced on any other site without the expressed written consent of Matt Logelin.