one day last
week when i picked
maddy up from daycare,
she ran
to me in a way
that she rarely
does when it’s time
to leave her friends
for the night.
she was frantic, yet
happy to see me
and really, really
excited to leave.
and she
looked like this:
(this photo was taken later that night in the elevator at amoeba).
now, not only did
she not look like
that when i dropped
her off, there
is no way in
hell i would
ever dress her like that.
“maddy had a little accident,”
is what the
guy at daycare
told me.
“oh. that explains her outfit then. what happened?”
what he said
was not exactly
what i was expecting…
i mean, accidents are
normal in the course
of potty training
so that’s was
what i assumed
had happened.
“well, she was on the swing with colin and apparently he’d been spinning a little too long and he threw up all over madeline.”
“that is really fucking gross,”
is what i thought.
what i said was,
“i hope colin is okay.”
“yeah, he’s fine. he had multiple turns on the swing and i think it was just his lunch coming up. but i have to say, maddy did not like getting thrown up on.”
“who the fuck would?”
is what i thought.
what i said was,
“i can imagine.”
he said,
“it was like she didn’t know what hit her at first, and as the smell of the vomit reached her nose, she lost it and started gagging, doing her best to keep from throwing up herself.”
i can only assume
it was like
watching it unfold in
slow motion for the guy.
i felt bad
for the person
who had to
get maddy out of
the puke-covered clothing.
and i felt especially bad
for my kid.
and if you’ve
ever had to clean up
someone else’s vomit,
you know exactly
how she felt.
and as the guy
handed me a knotted-up
plastic bag,
i suddenly
felt really bad
for myself.
for some reason
it’s only easy
to clean up a mess
like this
when the vomit belongs to:
1. you
or
2. your child.
(the same axiom can’t even be extended to your partner, no matter how much you love him/her)
i needed some
time to think
of a plan…
so instead of heading
directly home,
i took maddy
to amoeba so i
could try
(in my own unique way)
to make her feel
better after the
earlier trauma of the day.
i bought her
a copy of
one of my favorite
movies when i
was a kid
and i bought myself
a couple of records
as a reward for
what i was going to
have to endure later.
we also took
a couple of photos
but i just couldn’t
shake the thought
of having to deal
with the vomit jeans.
i started to feel
like this:
so i drove us home,
leaving the bag
with the jeans
on the front porch
until i could decide
how to tackle the problem.
maddy had a bath
and then went
to bed,
and i was left to
deal with
the vomit pants…
“do it quickly”
was all i could think,
otherwise i’d
be the next one vomiting.
here’s the plan
i worked out:
fill the washer
with laundry soap,
get a pair
of rubber gloves
from my garage,
wrap my
nose and mouth
in a towel,
make sure both the
front and back doors
were open so
i could run in
drop the pants
in the washer
and run out the
back door with the
plastic bag.
plans made.
action taken.
success.
i sat down on
the couch and
listened to the
syl johnson records
i picked up
at amoeba,
i thought about what
i learned today.
1. i need to toughen up.
2. maddy must have extra clothes at daycare that actually match.
3. if this ever happens again, throw the puke-covered clothes in the trash, especially if the puke does not belong to your child. (that’s what liz would have done).
…
postscript:
two days later
i picked maddy
up and things were
back to normal
(aka she didn’t want to leave).
as i do every day,
i asked her,
“how was daycare today.”
her answer?
“good. colin didn’t puke on me.”
that’s her definition
of a good day?
my poor, poor child.
(oh…and if you wouldn’t mind, please click through to this link and vote to help the liz logelin foundation win a full-page ad in the minneapolis star tribune. you can vote once every hour until nov. 21st).
137 Comments
DEF throw the next jeans away! i think $10 jeans are nothing compared to dealing with someone elses PUKE! Good job tho, Daddy!
She looks JUST like Liz in that second picture!
So adorable! And totally gross.
Oh god. Poor Maddie, and poor you! Ugh….just rotten.
Poor Maddy! That is disgusting and I feel so bad for her. Other people’s vomit is gross, especially when it gets on you.
I’m impressed that you considered cleaning them (it sounds like you decided against the idea). I’m not keen on how the daycare presented the situation, to be honest. She didn’t “have an accident”!
Ok, I know it is gross, the the mental image of you with a towel wrapped around your head, bright yellow gloves, steaming through the house at top speed is just too hilarious!
OMG I totally would have thrown the bag of puke clothes in the trash at the day care !! There is something totally different when it is your puke or your kids puke ! Someone else’s YUCK !!
I can only imagine poor Maddy being thrown up on ! I would need a very long hot shower to ever feel clean !!
P.S. I voted ! Hope you win ! That would be wonderful publicity to get others involved !
The whole time I was reading I was thinking “why didn’t he just throw the bag away with the clothes in it?”
Sorry about the horrible experience. I got a little woozy just reading it!
Oh my goodness! That poor girl! I would have totally thrown the clothes away. I wouldn’t want someone else’s puke in my washing machine. LOL! Did you dip Maddy in bleach? Just kidding. What an awful experience for everyone involved.
oh god. argh! HAHAHA
why didnt you call someone to wash? :S
oh,totally disgusting.
Ewwwwwww! Poor Maddy! I can only imagine her little face, it probably clearly said “Dude! What the fuck?!”
I puked on my second grade teacher once…she’s never let that go either.
And for sure, throw the clothes away next time! I’m not gonna lie, I totally chuckled at the idea of you running through your house with a towel on your face. That’s some fucking effort dad, nice job!
I would probably throw the clothes. Every time I would see them, even after they’re washed, I would remember and start to gag.
Oh, great story! Well, for the reader, I suppose. Jeans would have definitely been in the trash at my house. You are a bigger, er… parent than I!
From the girl with no kids AKA no experience in this dept. I think I would have taken the bag as it was being handed to me and dropped in the nearest trash. I wouldn’t had even put it inside the car…no way. Poor Maddie, I hope it doesn’t create any traumas in the boy-girl relationship department for her.
Poor Maddy! ewwww
Definitely agree with you totally 100% and I would’ve done the same as LIZ…throw the clothes away! and make sure she has clothes that match at daycare! lol…
I was so thinking you were going to throw them away–I know I would have! Yeah, the puking thing–I can never get used to it as it is–but another kid’s vomit–Ouch!
And yeah–its interesting to see what Daycare thinks is suitable dress…the stuff they come home in sometimes is just funny.
I immediately thought “throw them away” as soon as you said that you were handed a bag of vomity pants. I suppose that all depends on the value of the clothing. Jeans from Target that cost $8 – totally not worth it.
i would have thrown the jeans in the garbage and bought new one! So you are pretty tough! lol
If it was me…that bag would’ve never left the daycare…straight to the garbage and i’m as frugal as they come!
The entire time reading this I was thinking to myself “Throw the damn jeans AWAY!!”
I think I need to re-adjust my assessment of my days and remember that ANY day someone does not puke on me is a GOOD one!
Oh man… So I laughed a couple times, b/c at first I thought your title referring solely to the mismatching clothes that the daycare forced upon your poor children. Then I laughed at the ending, when poor Maddy’s definition of a good day become so baseline. Great story! And no worries, she probably won’t remember this in a couple years.
You are right about cleaning up puke: only easy for yourself and your kid. I’m lucky my husband rarely gets sick.
And I echo the other sentiments. Unless those jeans were favorite jeans (I’m thinking of my daughter’s favorite blue sparkly jeans which I would do just about anything to save), that bag would have gone in the trash. Eek. Poor Maddy. Poor you.
Yuck!!! LOL!! But Great freaking story! They would have gone right in the trash!!
Oh and I voted!!
and now I feel sick……..gross.
It is also pretty sad that she judges a good day on whether or not she gets puked on. Poor kid. You need to help change that quick.
totally just throw the pants/clothes away the next time!!! yuck!
kudos to you though for actually washing them!
and maddy’s comment made me laugh, what a funny kid she is!
Oh no…I wanted to gag just reading this. Of course she went into shock! Why did that teacher sound surprised that she started gagging herself? I think that is a natural human reaction. I would have thrown the clothes away too, because, really…is she going to want to wear them again? Gross.
You poor people. Puke is disgusting.
BTW, voted for the foundation and put it on facebook and twitter.
I seriously was getting the dry heaves just reading about it! But you can include grandchildren in the vomit acceptability realm.
The whole time I was reading that I was yelling in my head “THROW THEM AWAY… JUST THROW THEM AWAY!” HaHa!
HAHA!!!! So glad you and Maddy survived the day! Loves to Maddy
lol – I love that line! I’m going to use it the next time I have a rough day…. it’s good if I didn’t get puked on!
By the way – I ABSOLUTELY would have tossed that plastic bag in the garbage – probably BEFORE I left the daycare…..
If you smile, like a great big grin smile, it kills your gag relex. You can clean up anything if you just smile through it (my husband always says our kids thought he was the happiest dad ever when he changed their stinky nappies).
Your a great Dad. Seriously. I don’t know if my hubby would have even been enviormentally correct and thrown them in a garbage, I think they would have went out the window of his truck on the way home! Our daycare had a washer and dryer and took care of any issues for us and I can not tell you how sweet that was. Its always an adventure with kids! I love your parenting style.
Personally I agree, your girl didn’t have the accident – Colin did – the daycare should have sent the puke covered clothes home with Colin’s parents – to be returned to you when they were washed! It would have been much easier for you to wash them again after that! You really are a great Dad and Maddy is so sweet!
I am disgusted that the daycare facility would expect you to wash Maddy’s clothes. They should have a washer/dryer at their facility and they should have explained the situation to you and given them back to you clean the next day. That’s just my 2 cents worth. So proud that you got through this ordeal. Hope Maddy doesn’t have this happen to her again.
Ew. I’m feeling some sympathy for the daycare worker too. Having worked in the 2-3 year old room at a daycare while in college, I’m all too familiar with bagging up puked and shat on articles of clothing. One time I was changing a kid’s diaper after nap (so he was on his back) and I literally watched the vomit spew from the depths of his throat. I nearly puked all over him. Sorry, TMI.
Had I been Maddy’s teacher, I would have sent the jeans home with Colin’s parents and asked them to wash and return them as it was their son’s puke crusted on there. Is that mean?
Poor Maddie! Yes, unless it was one of my favorite outfits, I think I would have thrown it in the trash as well! Some things your just can’t “toughen up” with i don’t think!
That’s horrific… and, only because it didn’t happen to me, a little hilarious too.
Voted
You would have thought they could have at least rinsed them out for you. So wrong to just throw them in a bag and make you deal with it!
LMAO- Oh Lordy, been there done that (and you are correct, you can’t extend the puke cleaning up to a spouse no matter how much you love them!) I have also been know to just trash the nasty stuff and not look back!! You did great & cracked me up with your story, thanks I SO needed that today!
Ok, that is REALLY GROSS! I would have trashed the clothes, as I. Don’t. Do. Puke! Even my own kids’ puke makes me puke! LOL
I’m sure you’ll hear “Colin didn’t puke on me” for a long time. My friend’s three-year-old reminds us weekly that “Hailey pooped on her blanket” – and that happened MONTHS ago.
They never forget the traumatic experiences of being puked or pooped on… and unfortunately, neither do we!
the whole time i was reading this, I was thinking, “why isn’t he just throwing the jeans away?” ahahhahah
As a daycare teacher I can relate to both you and maddy, being puked on is never fun but neither is cleaning your puke covered pants. Though I wish I could be entirely pleased with my day as long as I didn’t get puked on. Oh to be young again when life was so simple.
@Adrianne I so would have made the pukey kids parents clean or replace the clothes!
As a former Day Care teacher I feel your pain. I often had to clean up vomit, urine, and feces that were not my own or my child’s. It’s gross. And after sitting with a stinky bag for hours, the parents usually threw the clothes away. Poor girl. It is always a good day though when someone doesn’t throw up on you.
Extra set of clothes at daycare that match!! LOL! its the important stuff!
i dont ever. ever. ever. do throw up. not mine, not my kids (although oddly enough i was forced to in HI), and certainly not some other kids! freakin’ sick. ugh. although, i am way to cheap to throw away a perfectly good pair of jeans – my husband, however, is not. this story is hysterical, though. kinda.
I am hysterically laughing at your plan of attack for cleaning her clothes. And surprised you kept them… Especially because the guy told you “it was probably just his lunch coming up.” Food puke is the worst to clean up (I know-I have 4 kids).
So yes, Next time, no matter how cute her outfit is, just throw it away!!
Dude. I’ve of tossed my own childs puke clothes away. I have before in fact. Ha. Someone else’s kids puke? Yeah, that would have never made it to my car.
I almost feel bad for the little boy though. How much do you want to bet, each time Maddy sees him she mentions it? Ha.
I so would have thrown the jeans away–they can be replaced!
BTW, Fox and the Hound is one of my favorite movies–my husband took me to see it when we were dating–in fact, it was one of the first movies that we saw, about 3 weeks after our first “date” (we had been friends for about two years before that). Hard to believe that was 29 years ago!
The images that this post created made me roar with laughter. So, so funny.
How did you not instantly throw away those jeans? I would’ve tossed them so quickly. I think you did toughen up that day. Very few people could’ve done what you (and Maddy) did.
That was hilarious- I loved how you had the front and back door open to drop the puck pants and run- ha! About to vote now- good luck!
ps- i love when you and kelle hampton from enjoying the small things have a new post- y’all (yes im very southern) are my favorite bloggers!
Oh, poor little Maddy! And definitely throw those puke covered clothes away. Her clothes are still cheap enough!
WOW way to go dad, I wouldn’t have been so strong. My gag reflux is awful and if I hear, or see, or even smell puke I will puke. Yah im thinking next time you might just throw away the jeans and save yourself the torture.
But poor Madeline, she might be tortured for life now on a swing set.
I saw your post about this on Twitter and gagged! Poor Maddy! I definitely would have been chucking those clothes. For the record though, I think her little mismatched outfit is cute. Charlotte now insists on dressing herself and we’ve ended up with some similar ensembles. Just remember, take lots of pictures and when she is in high school you have some quality blackmail.
Now….my very first inclination would have been to toss the clothes and get on with it; esp if they’re cheap because “they’re going to be thrown up on or spilled all over at daycare.” But….I had an absolutely adorable red wool coat ( AKA Padington Bear style) that my younger son wore one morning to preschool……tears to your eyes cute…..got in the car after and promptly barfed all over himself, car seat etc…I couldn’t bear to ditch the coat so ran home and cleaned it the best that I could and went to the dry cleaners the next day. The coat that was going to be cute all winter was never worn again….he refused to put it on and I couldn’t even bribe him to.
Matt,
I can totally relate to your situation. When my daughter was about 8 years old, we were shopping about an hour away from home. We stopped at a restaraunt for lunch and my daughters went to the restroom together. A moment later, my older daughter came running back to the table and screaming for me. I ran to the restroom and found my daughter standing at the door covered in vomit! Apparantly a little boy was trying to make it to the men’s room in time, and my daughter was standing in his way. She had long hair and her face and clothes were covered! We had no extra clothes! I cleaned her up as well as possible and she had to ride home wearing a blanket. To make matters worse, the boy’s Mother looked at us and walked right by with her son (who was squeaky clean BTW)! That experience comes up often in conversation, we can laught about it now!
Puke is gross no matter who’s it is. Throw the jeans out next time, for sure!
I know you have better things to do than read this, but I’ll tell ya anyway… about 3 years ago, my son was in the hospital. My daughter ended up throwing up due to nerves while on the freeway with my mom. She threw up all over her favorite stuffed piggy. So, my mom threw the piggy in a Burger King trash bin, along with all of her clothes. To make a long story short, my dad (who is divorced from my mom), heard the story, and drove to every Burger King on I-80 in California (about 98 miles to be exact) and went through every dumpster at a Burger King. Apparently he ended up finding Conway the PIggy in Vallejo, CA (90 miles from his home), took it to his local dry cleaners, and gave it to her for Christmas. He said it cost about $100 to have dry cleaned, but I’ll tell you, it was the best present to date! And yes, it really was Conway and not another one he bought. Poor Conway still had the same Sharpie marks on the belly that happened about a year before.
Good God, I kept thinking “throw the bag out, throw the bag out”.. You are far braver than I am. I would’ve left it in the daycare garbage can!
Poor Madeline… have her stay away from Colin next time he’s on the swings..
I also made the mistake of reading through some of the comments, and GAG!
One day when my son was in daycare….the little girl in the cot next to Kevin’s woke up with no panties on….stay with me….the workers asked her where her panties were……She said, “They are wet and on Cabin’s (kevin’s) bed”…..She had put her wet panties on Him!
I am proud of you……and I really thought you were going to throw them out!
my vote wouldh have been to just throw the cloths away lol my kids are all grown but i remember thoes days and am now a grandma. deff throw the cloths awaylol
I’ve thrown away many, MANY sets of clothes due to puke and other bodily functions gone wrong. I will say, though, living in the midwest, I was able to salvage a lot of clothes during the winter. I’d throw the clothes outside, let the stuff freeze, then make my husband scrape them off and wash them!
I would think throwing the bag of clothes out would have been a no brainer? I just laughed through this whole account, as horrible as it is, it’s hysterical the way you tell it
Wow. I’ve never appreciated more the fact that our daycare washes their messed up clothes.
(I totally would have thrown them out)
I would have tossed those things instantly. I thought that is what you were going to say you did. yuck!!
You are such a MALE.
Next time, make Brooke wash them.
I puke all the time, so this would not bother me that much.
Eh, fuck it. They’d be thrown out on the freeway.
You are a very brave man. I would have thrown the vomit clothes away. Poor Maddy! That’s traumatizing…
I’m Copper!
I’m a hound dog! Ahroooo roooo rooo. One of my favorites too, except most of the time I only watched the happy parts. It gets too intense.
I asked for (and received) a basset hound puppy for Christmas when I was nine. Best present ever!
Throw that shit away!! I’m sorry Maddie was so traumatized. Poor kid.
Poor Maddy!
Yes! Please throw the clothes away next time!!! I just kept reading and thinking, “I know Matt’s NOT gonna ACTUALLY wash those pukey clothes.”
Hilarious, but ewwwww! Isn’t there a parenting medal for this?
Poor Maddy, and poor Daddy! Glad both of you survived it. As a retired RN, and having been hit with every body fluid available, I understand how grossed out you were, trust me.
Added a Facebook link to the voting page — hope you get more votes for LLF!
I think you are right… when it comes to puke, the only tolerable puke to clean up is your child’s. And I think I might have to agree with your thoughts on what Liz would have done – throw them away next time. But honestly, for Maddie’s sake, I hope there isn’t a next time.
Okay, here’s a story for you.
One day at Brookdale mall I realized my beautiful 1 yr old daughter was covered in crap.
In the parking lot in the car, in the boiling MN sun in July, I was wiping and taking off her clothes and wiping and bagging–the little white sundress with the pink trim…you can imagine. It was 1987.
I get to the diaper and take it off.
Nothing there.
I put her in a public stroller that had some other kid’s shit in it.
I feel your pain. This is a real gross story.
Hugs to you both. love, Val
This was HILARIOUS!
As you were explaining your plan for tackling the problem, I was screaming in my head, “Throw them OUT!” I learned that the hard way, too…
Definitely would have thrown the jeans away…
Maddy will probably define that as a good day for a while. We had an issue with my daugther being slightly aggressive at daycare and I threatened to take away her toys if she pushed or hit kids again so everyday for about six months (and counting) when I ask her how “school” was she says, “Good, I did not push.”
That is hilarious! Well, not for Maddy, but you’re reaction to it (that is really fucking gross). As someone who isn’t rich by any means, I would have thrown the pants away too. So.Not.Worth.It. LOL – but I admire you for washing them!
Is it wrong that I read this post literally laughing out loud? Poor Maddy! (and yes- we would have tossed the clothes too)
Next time don’t even take the bag home with you. Throw it all out in the daycare trash. It really is a good day when you aren’t thrown up on!!
You are a great dad!!
I totally would have thrown them out without a second thought! I even threw out a couple of my little guy’s own onesies after particularly gross diaper blow outs.
Oh my goodness! I can totally relate to this story! When Brady was 3 (he’s 5 now), I picked him up from daycare, we were literally turning into our driveway and he said, “Mommy I don’t feel good” then bleh -all over his car seat. I threw it away and went and bought another one.
BTW- Fox & the Hound is a wonderful movie!! B even calls me “big mama”
You made me laugh out loud! I’m a throw-a-wayer! I can never get myself to open the plastic bags and take the clothes out..I factor it into the cost of daycare
I am currently in the middle of cleaning up copious amounts of vomit from (so far) 2 kids plus myself. I consider it to be a FANTASTIC day if no one pukes on me…
Yeah, I would have tossed the clothes too.
I will be voting!!! and stay away from the vomit..eww!
Well done on the clean-up duty!! These smells pass….eventually. I always just held my breath. You’re right though – probably a lot more traumatic for Maddy than anybody else. She had to watch it happen! Sheesh.
Voting done for today – and posted it on my FB page so….we’ll see. Hope ya’ll win!!!
Puke is the one thing I dreaded as a parent and I can totally handle my daughter’s puke. Anyone else and I’m done. Good job with getting them thrown into the wash.
I LOVE Maddy’s definition of a good day! I think that’s my subconcious definition too. Any day I’m not puked on is a good day.
I worked at a daycare for about 8 years…. I know all about cleaning up puke. Definitely NOT fun… just throw them away!
YUP, that bag of someone else’s kids vomit would have never made it into the house….. Right into the garbage when we got home it would go! Grossssssss.
And thanks for the story as I sit here and eat my lunch!!!
I love this. The whole time I was thinking, “Why didn’t he just throw them away on his way home?” I don’t have money to throw away, but there’s no way I would clean someone else’s puke off pants that will only fit my kid for another month. Poor baby. What a strong girl to hold her own puke while waiting patiently for somoene to change her. Any adult would’ve screamed. A little boy hit my kid in the head a few months ago and still, when we ask if she played with him she replies, “Yes, and he was a good boy and didn’t hit me in the head today.”
I was thinking from the very beginning, “THROW AWAY! THROW AWAY! THROW AWAY!”
Hey Matt:
I would have just thrown the whole bag away!!
Poor Maddy, I know how she feels.
I love that story. I worked in day care’s for years long ago and well I have seen it all! But it is still GROSS to deal with vommit…for sure! I am not sure that I have ever commeted on your site. I read often! I did vote for the full page ad as well. I know a reporter that works for that paper. Maybe she can pull some strings!
Take care!
Shari
ugh how gross. I expected you to say you threw the clothes in the nearest bin. i would have done
LMAO!!!!!!! Best post in a long time Matt. Smooches to Miss M, I wish her many, many more good days at daycare.
I am still laughing, picturing you running through the house with your face covered.
Parenting life lesson #384: puke is gross no matter who is belonged to!!
Hey she’ll save on therapy – she’s already got a really sucky day for comparison. I’d say after getting puked on, everything else is pretty okay!
Great post, I especially like it when you swear. Please, don’t torture yourself, throw them out next time. Yuck.
first, it’s only puke. i think that’s guy thing though. my husband can’t deal with it either.
second, we need to rally the voters! i have been voting today (you can vote once per hour) but noticed that there are some organizations that have a lot more votes than LLF. strangers, friends, lurkers, let’s do it!
How awful! My sister was the victim of being puked on at elem school during the lunch line. But then she turned it into a puke train. The kid behind her puked then she puked on the kid in front of her! No joke! I would have thrown the clothes away. You are brave for tackling that mess!
Oh yes– all I could think throughout your post was…. my first stop would have been the trash can.
Ughhh I can’t imagine! I’m 36 weeks pregnant with our first and vomit is the ONE THING I can’t handle. I can do explosive poop, spit-up, pee…but vomit is my limit. Maybe that will change when it’s my child?
ewwww poor maddie! i would have thrown them out. no need cleaning someone else’s puke. new clothes for maddie hahaha. and i like her last comment, priceless.
Did it bother you that daycare didn’t call to give a heads up? I would have wanted the option of taking her home to clean her up. I was annoyed at my sons daycare this week. Usually they call me for every single silly thing but this week he had a massive nosebleed (I had to throw away the shirt) for the first time ever and they didn’t bother to tell me until I picked him up hours later.
just so you know… i read this in the morning while my daughter was at preschool. i was feeling for little maddy and her up-chucking adventure when my daughter’s school calls…. “gaia’s been vomiting this morning”. ARE YOU KIDDING!? my daughter, in 5 years, has missed the dreaded stomach bug. it’s taken me this long to get back to you and post that we are now over it. i threw away some clothes. but even more priceless was walking into her class to get her and every little 4/5 year old face looking up at me saying “your kid throwed up” LOL. thankfully she missed all of them by a mile. but they were clearly still traumatized. !!
You are my hero! I’m a gagger when my own kid is puking. I feel bad for my kids, they puke, I gag. No mother of the year awards will be dished out for me!
I would never have brought those clothes into my house either. Plus I would have told the daycare that next time someone else’s kid puked on my kid, to call me so I could pick my kid up and take them home and wash them properly..in the bath! Poor Maddy…that is so gross!
Oh God.
Well, as someone who thrown up on in 4th grade band by the dork standing behind me playing the drums – she’ll be ok. Though even now, 30 years later, I can still smell it like it was yesterday. Ugh. My children learned very early in life that when they were sick – they’d better make it to the bathroom, otherwise I’d be retching right along with them. Poor baby.
*shiver*
I love her new definition of a good day. My second year of teaching, a good day was one when [student name redacted] DIDN’T tell me to go fuck myself.
LMAO…I feel for you and I’m a MOM!!!!! I do have a classic puke story though…imagine sitting at your computer typing and your son comes up to you and in a matter of a few seconds, says…uhhh momm…I don’t feel….and it’s all over your keyboard!!! I sat startled for a moment only in that it was so colorful (he had fruity pebbles for breakfast), then came the dilemna, what to do with the keyboard! I chucked it! Glad you got through with it, next time tell the daycare to toss the clothes for ya!
Eww gross. I would have washed them too probably. But then again, maybe not. I am a pediatric nurse and one night shift, I was changing a newborn’s diaper and out squirted some yellow poop, all over my pants. I changed into clean scrubs and brought my old ones home with me in a plastic bag, intending to clean them up. After about a week of the bag laying on the floor, I thought what the hell am I keeping them for?? and quickly threw it away. I can do vomit, I just can’t do I-drank-too-much-vomit. THAT is horrible! If you’re sick and puke, thats one thing, but if you did it to yourself, THAT is what I can’t stand!
Gak! I would totally hate to be the one at daycare who dealt with that. I love that she’s made that her definition of a good day.
LOL…bless your heart, I would have thrown them away without a second thought. I’m sorry she got puked on.
If throwing them out absolutely wasn’t an option (just threw out a pair of socks that my daughter loved because they got gross in the McDonald’s playland at a b-day party), store this in your memory bank for the future. Wear a bandana around your face (looking much like a bank robber from the 1800′s) and take them to the far corner of your yard and get the hose, aim it at an angle, on JET setting, and spray any vomit off heading in the opposite direction of you. Then take some dish soap and completely DOUSE the clothing article(s) with said dish soap and perform same hosing technique. The clothing is now safe to gather up and toss into the washing machine. I know this because my daughter got thrown up on, on the school bus when she was in 1st grade. I was still in the queasy stages of pregnancy at the time, so this technique served me well!
Can I just say also…poor Maddy? Bless her heart…nothing worse than getting thrown up on.
Oh god, poor Maddy and poor you! That story seriously made me gag. I do NOT do throw up. Bella got the flu last year and I made Joe clean up the sheets, blankets, floor etc. while I gave Belles a bath. I just couldn’t….your plan was brillant! haha
LMAO…but poor Maddy…vomit is not nice! Next time (and I hope there isn’t one for Maddy’s sake)throw the clothes away. I need a cup of tea to settle my stomach after reading this.
Have a great Thanksgiving!
Asalamu Alaykom,
As a teacher who sometimes has to put pukey/poopy/yucky clothes in a bag to go home, “I’m sorry!”
The good news is that Msddy HAD extra clothes. An amazing amount of parents have good intentions to renew the supply of extra clothes (after an accident) but fail. Or they sent clothes in the fall which were shorts and short-sleeves but those don’t work when it’s freezing in the winter. Speaking of which…good time for everyone to re-check what they sent to daycare/school for their kids.
I think, Mr. Matt, you should have an Apple App which reminds parents of the real choice matters in life. Daily Reminders from you. Think about it…
Wow! I’m impressed you salvaged them. I definately would have thrown them in the trash puke is worse than shit IMO.
Maddy is adorable, hopefully soon she’ll gage her days by friends and playing instead of getting puked on.
Great pics as always.
Ya throw them out the next time. And once when my husband was dealing with the puke covered bedding he just balled it up, put in the machine and turned it on….MIIISTAKE, I just ended up with “clean” puke on the inside of my washer. DISGUSTING!! But yeah my kids puke, while not pleasant, I can deal with. My sister quickly learned that in the car, in an emergency, catching it in your hands (I’m not even kidding) is better than smelling it in the car for the remainder of a long trip. Puke scenes in movies, NOT funny, not even remotely. Poor Maddy, Poor you and funny perspective now on what constitutes a good day
Matt–I’ve been reading your blog for years now. Just wanted to let you know that I’m sitting at my desk laughing HYSTERICALLY. Thanks for that and happy thanksgiving:)
Ugh. Welcome to parenting puke 102. Good on you for dealing with the situation and getting the clothes clean again.
I have always been very puke sensitive but after years of working with disabled individuals bodily wastes are my second name unfortunately.
My favorite tale is having a developmentally disabled young woman have a temper tantrum on me. I would not buy her a second donut so she decided to dry heave all the way to the bathroom I directed her to. Projective vomit all over the bathroom door thank you very much. Teenaged staff member aghast so asked for tools to clean mess up.
GROSS!! Cleaning up your kids’ messes are one thing but someone elses? Just GROSS.
I am laughing out loud in my office – I am fairly certain that my co-workers know that banking is not that funny.
Great story!
Thanks for a good start to my day!
Poor Maddy, poor Colin, and poor you. I was thinking throughout your story-UGH, just throw the clothes away. Nothing is worse than cleaning up kid puke, with that awful curdled milk smell. OH GAG. I laughed about the matching daycare clothes b/c my younger daughter’s cubby clothes are all mismatched too!
Things that get thrown away at our house:
clothes with puke – doesn’t matter whose puke it is
underwear with poop
shoes that have dog poop
Yes, I am a waster. I don’t care.
I’m sorry, but I laughed really hard at this post! As a former child care provider I’ve had to pass that bag to a parent. Not fun. As a mom, I’ve thrown out so many things that have had puke on them! Thanks for the laugh : )
Rules for the day care instructor:
1. If she did a number 1, send it home.
2. If she did a number 2, throw away the underwear…they are cheap and who cares.
3. Water hose…if all else fails. I guess you can tell I grew up in the late 70s, early 80s…when my kid used to have an accident, she got stripped down in the backyard and had the waterhose treatment before she could go in the house to take a bath…less poop in the house the better!
Good luck.
Reminds me of when I arrived at daycare to pickup one day. The staff all looked at me with a half smile half freaked out look. Both my kids were wearing their backup clothes….uh oh. My son had just 10 minutes prior puked all over his sister. Then within an hour they both had s stomach bug that I had 12 hours later.
One day I will remind her that her brother puked on her.
LoL, Matt! You don’t need to toughen up. I don’t deal with puke either, especially when it is someone else’s. Truth be known you were brave to wash the pants…I would have tossed them in the trash. Is that bad, LoL?
this totally happen to my poor kid. second month in kinder class was ready to leave for the day and a girl puked on his back pack and shirt. Catch this the teacher gave my son to the daycare worker like this …no let us clean you up so you won’t have to walk like this no plus inform the caregiver that he had become really really upset…ya think! so his father had to take off uniform shirt which I had to wash BUT (you were a lot braver than me) I wanted to throw only expensive back pack out but I felt bad (single mother and all …had just bought school supplies and broke) So …I left backpack outside on porch for about more than a month not sure until I figured the sun had disinfected it and then I washed it and the lights still work on it. Even my five year old was all for throwing back pack away ….he even used his sleeping bag sack for all that time and didn’t care.
I really had no idea what you were pointing out when you said “This is how she looked.” My daughter (3 3/4) dresses like that every day. So will Maddie, when she picks out her own clothes.
Sorry about the puke. Washing machines are a gift from heaven.
thanks for this. i just started reading your blog, having found it yesterday, and this post really made me laugh. it felt good.
i’m an only parent of a now 11 year old girl that i’ve raised on my own since she was 1.5. i work my ass off at being a parent, but i’m also just damned lucky. she’s a kick ass kid.
it’s a lot of fun to be reminded of the toddler years. i miss my daughter’s little round self. i appreciate too your open hearted crass honest “i am fucking doing this” way of talking about your parenting life. thank you for sharing it here.
when my girl was 2 she attended preschool three days a week. i picked her up one day only to walk in and discover her poor teacher in the kid bathroom with four boys and two girls (NOT my daughter dear lord god almighty THANK YOU) with shit pouring down their bare butt and legs. in some skewed miracle of a moment half the class had spontaneously and simultaneously developed diarrhea. this post of yours brought the memory of that front and center back to my attention.
Maddy is lucky. From an early age(admittedly not as young as Maddy) I learned that my Mom doesn’t quite have the same tolerence for her offsprings’ vomit.
I do have to say it made me laugh and gag all at the same time. I would agree, next time just throw them out.
Wow! What a story. I think Maddy won’t forget… & that daycares should clean the stuff and call you & let you know when it happens, in case you want to get your kid early. & spare clothes are good — it’s comforting, probably, to have your own stuff… but no big deal if they have extras….. I’m sure wearing mismatched clothes was the least of it for Miss Maddy.
@ Elaine — I LOVE how you put what you wrote in your post (4 posts above mine.) YOu are a natural writer TOO! Please let us know if you write a story or a book — I WANT one!
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[...] (oh, and i attribute her fear of vomit to the earlier trauma described here). [...]