please, i implore you, don’t make the mistake my mother (grandma broccoli) did…take a few seconds before buying, and listen to the talking toys you give as gifts.
tomorrow i’m off to visit my brother and his family in alaska. the disturbing monkey will be coming with me, and will meet an untimely end sometime during the trip. i’ll take any ideas you have for how it should die.
(btw…this amorous toy monkey was purchased by the same woman who sent maddy the most terrifying toy of all-time. read about it here. once again, thanks, mom).
46 Comments
I’m thinking a trip into some COLD water somewhere!!!
‘wanna monkey around with me?’…wow! not even worthy of donation!
you could let it go through a propeller on the plane
Super creepy. Since you will be in Alaska, perhaps you should tie it to a salmon and then leave it for a bear (nevermind, that would be bear abuse). Perhaps you can run it over with a snowmobile.
You mean you don’t know about the Battery Gnomes? They hit our house all the time, especially after Christmas and birthdays! They swipe batteries from toys to power their underground kingdom of Batterytopia. Yep.
Wow… that thing is creepy.
Love the names, Grandma Candy and Grandma Broccoli…
Haha! When my son doesn’t like something he always says “it’s not my favorite” too. That was so cute.
I don’t think you should kill the monkey…I think you should allow a herd of moose to adopt the him. Everyone needs a family.
That is absolutely crazy! Not only that, but how on earth is that thing still on the market? It’s wrong in so many ways. I’m in agreement with Selena on how the Creepy Monkey should meet its maker.
Isn’t this like the second creepy talking toy you guys have had at your house?
She talks so articulately…. though *shivers*
That thing should be renamed Pedophile Monkey.
As for its demise:
1. Unfortunate baggage carousel incident.
2. Unfortunate toilet drowning incident.
3. Unfortunate TSA screening incident.
HAHA – I laughed out loud watching this video!
Maybe it could be “left” behind at the airport in Alaska……
bait
This is a no-brainer: mail it to the border of Russia AKA Sarah Palin’s house.
I say remove its battery pack and donate it to charity.
Alternatively, send it on its own ice float, Inuit style.
Disturbing creature. I’m liking the propeller suggestion or the TSA confiscation. That thing is way worse than nail clippers, mouth wash, shampoo or hair spray that they routinely confiscate. Or I’d kind of like to see it impaled on an antler–it would have to be an antler on a stuffed animal otherwise it would be too cruel.
I don’t know, aside from the “wanna monkey around with me” line, it doesn’t seem that bad. But that one line alone would make me chuck it as well. I hope your mom doesn’t read this! LOL
My kids got these from their grandmother too! We were like “did that monkey really just say that??” I’ve got two in my house and the kids love them. How they are both going to disappear or break, I’m not sure yet!
I think the creepiest part is the “do you wanna monkey around with me?” part. WTH?!?
enjoy your time in Alaska, Matt!! time well spent with your bro!!!
I bet you can’t feed the whales on a whale watching cruise. But its fun to think about it being eaten by a killer whale.
I thought the monkey looked OK until it began talking and said “you want to monkey around?”
LMAO!
Coincidently, Maddy already had made up her mind so you didn’t have to do a little arm twisting to get rid of the monkey! ha!
Bye bye monkey!
Wow…that is disturbing. Glad she shares in the idea of getting rid of it!
I’m thinking that target practice would be perfect for it provided that your brother or his friends have guns.
either an avalanche,
grizzly bear,
or an eagle took it
I am pretty sure the monkey has nothing on the Thing a Ma Jig
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ICSm5q-tmY
It ended up in our closet. In the way back. Waaaay back.
I love the look in her eyes…she is way smarter then that monkey….at least she is on board to throw it away…I thought you were kind of mean for wanting to toss it at first…could be a fun adventure
Matt, where does it rank for you when compared to the “NO” rabbit? That’s still the all-time funniest post you’ve ever written in my opinion, and I just found it again by googling “Matt Logelin, demon rabbit.” =)
Your family is flat-out awesome.
Hmmm, maybe in a great big ball of flame??? Light a huge bonfire and throw it on in!
That’s messed up, dude.
I vote for parachuting out of the plane. Sans parachute.
LMAO…..that is definitely up there with the rabbit!! Sooo creepy, and yet funny! Love Maddy’s reaction too….your mom cracks me up with her creepy toys!! I agree….I think the monkey should go for a nice swim in Alaska….or be conveniently left in the airport…lol. Good luck with whatever demise you choose….can’t wait to hear all about it!! Enjoy your trip to see your brother!!
The horrified, half-smiley look on her face while it’s talking is priceless! I once threw a talking toy (it wasn’t stuffed, like a hard plastic one) out of our moving car during winter because it was irritating. I saw it laying there in spring and had to stop and pick it up. It still worked! Sheer curiosity got the better of me!
Oh, for heavens sake, an offensive or inappropriate toy should be sent back to the manufacturer with a clear and cogent explanation of why the toy is offensive and should not be marketed to children. If enough people returned them to their makers eventually maybe they’d get the message!
Also, I think a discussion with the child about how this isn’t a good toy would ease its way out the door! And for heavens sake tell Grandma! People my age (and Grandma’s age) do not expect toys to be in questionable taste!
My daughter got a cat for Christmas, it is an extremely creepy looking cat and it looks like its dead. We put it in the garage under some other toys we will be donating and she found it yesterday. And now it is her FAVORITE toy. It totally creeps me out, so kitty will be going out in the trash on Friday. No one needs that thing besides the dump. Will fit right in. I say that the horny little moneky will meet its demise in some frigid water as it is tossed (or thrown with some FORCE) over the side of a boat. Either that or feed it to a Puffin.
Lisa
It should definitely be used either for target practice or roasted over a bonfire!
Creepy for sure!!
My 6 year old recently used a Toys R Us gift card to purchase these dolls http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dcj7CAzVkHw
I didn’t realize for about a week that the one says “Ok, crazy bitch!” lol
I have nothin’ but love for Grandma Broccoli and her toy choices!!! No creepier than the “Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep” praying bear we got that sounds appropriately demonically possessed as his batteries are slowly (very slowly, WTF?!) dying.
Kat, my 3 yr old son also says “not my favorite” when he doesn’t like something. Where do they get that from??
Hey! Before I forget, whatever happened to Oliver?! Did Maddie give you the scoop? These are the life changing thoughts and questions that come to mind when I wake up at 3am and can’t sleep. Must. Have. ANSWERS!
“wanna monkey with me?”
Oh hell no, you Satanic, posessed, evil-as-a-goat monkey. Stay away from me. *throws holy water*
Give to grandma broccoli for Christmas.
Do you think the toy makers sit around and get a good chuckle when they come up with these toys? That it’s time for payback or something? Like, I bet the kids will love it, but it’s going to drive their parents insane. DONE!
You should see the creepy toy my husband’s grandma got for our baby, it sings AND dances. Soooo creepy. And it’s really loud. It’s like the creepier they are the louder they have to be.
I was having a tough morning, and this made me smile and feel better. Thanks, Maddy and Matt. Oh, and that toy is hella creepy.
My sister used to have a talking Cat in the Hat doll that started doing creepy things–it would show up where she hadn’t left it, and on a couple of occasions it would suddenly start talking when no one was in the room and say things like, “Is your mother home?” and, “Want to get into some mischief?” Sooooooooooooooo creepy!!!!
So what the hell ever happened to the demon possessed monkey? How was it disposed of?