it’s not that
cold out here, early march,
sunset,
heat lamps off,
the tables empty,
except for the rolled up
silver, and the candles
flickering for no one.
inside they talk
over the
songs of a shitty era.
out here, just me,
thinking that it’s
okay to be sitting
out here alone,
listening to the
incesant noise of the
wheels on the pavement,
and, at regular intervals,
what sounds [...]

i got over my
fear of our
interior walls.
it wasn’t so much
the walls that i feared,
but creating holes
in them.
i used to imagine
using that tiny hammer
with the blue handle
to pound a nail in,
a vitiated strike,
the plaster crumbling,
a hole created,
the lath exposed.
it happened once,
months after that fear disappeared.
and when it did
my shoulders sunk,
my eyes fixed [...]