they came today,

a torrent of them,

an attempt to

make sense of

your little world,

combining the things

we talk about

every day in an

(almost)

4 year

old’s level of comprehension.

while digging your

spoon into a bowl of

(what i learned from grandpa tom g. a few nights ago)

was your mom’s

favorite cereal.

“daddy, why did mommy want to buy this house?”

i was surprised. this

is not a question

you’ve asked before.

“she wanted you to have a yard to play in and she loved all of the trees and plants. especially the lemon and grapefruit trees.”

“oh. i love you, daddy. can i have some orange juice, please?”

then you asked

a bunch

of questions about

how grandmas can

also be moms.

then in the car…

“daddy, what did you and mommy do for fun?”

again, not a question

i’ve heard from

you before.

i told you about

our travels, our nights

with friends, everything

i could think

of before the next

question interrupted me…

“why was my mommy in the hospital?”

i told you

why she

was there, and how

her only care

in the world was

getting you

out safely.

as much as the

previous questions

took me by surprise,

the next one took

the wind out of me.

“daddy, did you hold my mommy’s hand when she died?”

fuck.

as i tried to

breath and to

figure out how

to answer that one

(how do i explain to you at this point in your life that i was rushed out of the room so the doctors and nurses could work on you mom, and that it was impossible for me to hold her hand until after she had already died?).

i started bawling,

impossible to hide

my tears from you.

i did my best

to explain it to you,

but what i said

will never take

away what happened that day.

i looked in

my mirror to see

you reaching for me.

i reached back for

you, my hand now

in yours,

you rubbing my hand

the way i rubbed your

mom’s

that day

(and many before it).

“daddy, i love you.”

you knew i

needed that.

“i love you too, maddy.”

sometimes i forget

how mature you are,

and how you understand

and comprehend more

than i think you do.

“you know, you can ask me anything about your mommy, and you can talk about her anytime, right?”

“yeah. daddy. i know.”

and as i worried

about how i’d fucked up

your day by crying

you said,

“daddy. oliver is not on my imagination team anymore.”

and i just laughed.

“it’s not funny, daddy!”

you yelled back at me.

and no, it’s not,

but it was.

and i’m sorry i didn’t

ask why he was

no longer on your team,

or what the fuck

an imagination team

actually is.

ago maddy, brooke and i

headed north to visit

our friends

mark, jeffra and

mckenna in fresno.

frightened by the prospect

of our longest drive

yet with a

potty-trained child,

i took all of

the necessary precautions.

like traveling with

a potty chair

in case we were

on a stretch of road

where there

were no places to

stop in an emergency.

(and there are several such places on the way to fresno).

the other precaution i

took, and this was

a selfish one,

was to stop as often

as possible to see

the things i’ve

wanted to see

for years.

like buck owens’

crystal palace in bakersfield.

i love these kind of

wonderfully kitschy places

so i insisted

we stop there for

a bathroom break.

we toured the museum

(which would be more accurately described as a restaurant with a bunch of memorabilia inside glass cases around the perimeter of the building).

but there’s a

stage for music

and a bar for

being amazed

as well as places

to stop and take photos

with some of

country music’s luminaries.

(we skipped garth brooks and a few others that weren’t awesome enough to consider wasting our time on).

and if about

30 minutes of kitsch

wasn’t enough,

i also stopped

at the gift shop and

picked up a vintage

buck owens watch, which

my the packaging,

i could tell was manufactured

sometime in the

60s or 70s.

we continued on

our way,

stopping several times,

and not once

having to use

the potty chair on

the side of the road.

it was pretty late

by the time

we made it to

our destination,

but as someone far

smarter than i am

once said,

getting there is

half the fun.

that night we had

a nice dinner

before returning to

mark and jeffra’s house

to that maddy

and mckenna could

do a little swimming

in their pool.

the next morning we

we up early,

headed toward

sequoia national park.

but first, we stopped at

the project survival cat haven.

maddy alternated staring

in amazement at animals

she’d never seen

up close

and staring at her

new baby leopard toy.

she saw all

sorts of animals

and was enthralled

with all of them.

soon, she was sleepy

and it was time for

us to get

back in the car

and continue

our drive to sequoia.

we did a lot

of stopping

along the way

to take photos

and when we did

maddy spent most

of her time

chasing mckenna around

and posing for photos.

we walked through trees

rarely stopping

for a rest.

after lunch,

we kept walking

(i don’t think she’s ever going to let go of her baby leopard).

and taking photos.

we spent a ton

of time

using the forest

as our playground

on our way out

of the forest,

my planning

finally paid off.

“daddy! i have to go potty!”

i pulled over

as fast as i could,

grabbed her potty

chair from

the back,

and felt like the

best father in the world.

(i knew from previous experience that she wouldn’t pee in the woods, so i was proud of her for giving this a go, in spite of the feral dogs that were roaming the woods).

…

the following weekend

we were back in

los angeles, ready

to explore our

fine city once again.

on saturday, maddy

had her first

official dance class

(there has been one previous test session, and after she told her brookie and me how much she liked it, brooke signed her up).

before the class started,

brookie took her shopping

for her dance equipment,

maddy chose an outfit

that would soon find

would set her

apart from every

other girl in the class.

when we got there,

i actually got to

enter the studio

and take a few photos

before getting

kicked out to the

lobby with

all the other dads.

as i snapped the photos,

i heard one of

the moms exclaim,

“oh! black swan!”

(i haven’t seen the movie, so the reference was lost on me, but i take it being called a black swan isn’t the nicest thing in the world).

i didn’t think much

about it until then,

but as i looked

around and noticed

a sea of pink

and that my child was

the only one wearing black.

i don’t know why

this makes me so

proud, but i guess

it’s because i love

that she feels so comfortable

standing out

from the crowd

(or maybe kids her age don’t get it/don’t give a shit, but based on the behavior of the little girls at her daycare, i think that they do).

i moved to the

lobby where i watched

maddy and brooke

learn a little bit

about dancing

(brooke, it seems, needs more help than maddy with this)

on a tiny television

mounted on the wall.

it was amazingly

fun to watch maddy

following the teacher’s instructions…

it was like she was growing

up right before my eyes.

after dance class

we celebrated with

some ice cream and

a nap,

before heading out

for an afternoon/evening

of adventure at

the los angeles county fair.

i’ve lived in this

city for 9+ years

now, and i’ve

yet to make it there,

but today

was as good a

day as any, because

a couple of

our friends would be there.

we made our

way to the grandstand

where we met

up with our friends.

jessica was in

the cupcake competition

(i bet brooke goes for it next year)

and just barely

missed taking

home a ribbon for

her bubblegum cupcakes.

(maddy and brooke tried them and loved them).

we also got to spend

a little time

with our friends

parker, roman and christa.

maddy seems to be

pretty infatuated

with little parker

(i informed her that he’s a bit too young for her).

then it was

off to explore

the fair.

of course, maddy was

most interested

in riding the rides

(which meant another opportunity to take a photo like this):

she waited patiently

before finally

getting onto the

ferris wheel.

soon after finishing

our spin, she

discovered the joy

of carnival games

and with a little

help from

her brookie, she walked

away with a couple

of prizes.

i’m essentially useless

when it comes to

winning anything…

i have no carny

skills whatsoever.

we also did our

share of eating

and people watching.

before getting lost

in a house

of mirrors

thanks to maddy,

we eventually found

our way out.

there were

a few more (unsuccessful)

attempts at winning

before one

final snack

we probably should

have skipped the mini-donuts

but brooke claims

that they’re a staple of

fair food.

this was

the result:

not long after

that, there was

a tumble,

a banged-up elbow,

and an attempt to

make it

feel better/heal faster

through the

use of turtle power

(which works surprisingly well).

on the way

out we snapped

a few more photos

and picked up

a few more essentials

…

after a crazy week

that included:

1. an abscess in my gums.
2. a tooth extraction.
3. a trip to d.c. to speak to the vascular health foundation.
4. several delayed flights.
5. one missed flight.
6. an unexpected night in detroit.
7. and an earlier than expected arrival in minnesota.

we spent the past weekend

in minnesota celebrating

liz’s

birthday by raising

funds for the

liz logelin foundation

during our gala

and 5k events.

both events were

wildly successful

(thanks to many of you)

and i’ll be writing more

about them

as soon as we

finalize the numbers.

in the mean time,

there’s an

online auction going on,

with some

pretty awesome auction

items up for grabs,

so bid away…

i also did a

bit of remembering

on my own,

finding a short time

to sneak away

from everyone

and everything to

continue to fulfill

my promise to

liz,

the promise i made

to replace

all of her

stolen jewelry.

after years of trying

to figure out exactly what

was missing by tapping my

memory and going

through old photos,

i learned that

the folks at tiffany

can quite easily recall our

purchase history with

a few keystrokes.

(wish i would have known that a few years ago).

after looking

at a list

of everything

we’d purchased,

i realized just how

good my memory

actually is,

and how much

having all of

those photos helped.

turns out,

i’m pretty close to

completing my promise

to her.

combine that with the

amazing amount

of money that was

raised in her

honor for families

who have

been through what

maddy and i have,

and i know that

she’d be really

fucking proud of me.

sometimes it’s that

thought that

gets me through

the day.

especially on days

like september 17th.

for maddy’s birthday

we headed to puerto vallarta

with grandma candee,

grandpa tom and

auntie debbie.

brooke had to stay

behind for this trip

because she had

to work

(sucked for all of us that she couldn’t join us).

when we arrived at

condo and started

unpacking, i found

wrapped gifts inside

madeline’s suitcase,

with a card taped to

the front and a different

day of the week

written on the envelope.

all with brooke’s

familiar handwriting.

it seems that she’d

come to the same

conclusion i had…

that maddy’s birthday

would be a week-long event.

…

the day after our

arrival was the 24th,

the day that my

life changed

in the most amazing

way i never

could have imagined.

to celebrate, we decided

to present madeline with

her options and

let her choose.

here’s what she chose:

…

the next day

was the 25th.

three years since

the worst day

of our lives.

but as i’ve tried

to do since

our first 25th without

liz,

i did my best

to make sure that

my sadness

would not overshadow

the happiness

i’ve come to know

and embrace with

all of my heart…

my little reminder.

my maddy.

she was

once again the

focus. and with

her we made it

through…

…

the next day

we did more of

the same,

and was happy

i didn’t let her

open the colored bubbles

in the conodo

(i’ve determined that they are the worst “improvement” of a children’s toy of all time).

later in the evening,

we spent some

time playing

and hanging out

on the beach.

…

march 27th, we laughed

as maddy once

again showed us

further proof

that nature trumps nurture,

by shopping like

a pro

(her mother would have been so proud)

we spent the rest of

the early afternoon

exploring the city

(that is not maddy parasailing, btw).

that night we took

part in an activity

that should be

a part of

every person’s childhood…

kite flying.

but i’ve been scared

to even attempt to fly

a kite since

the mid 80s

when my grandfather lost

part of his finger

in a tragic

kite flying accident

(no fucking joke. our family has a cabin that’s situated between mille lacs lake and highway 169 in central minnesota, and one lovely summer day my grandfather was playing with his new prized possession, a giant dragon kite, the biggest kite he’d ever owned, in the big open area on the side of our cabin, when a gust of wind sent the kite diving and into traffic on-coming traffic. the kite got stuck on the bumper of a car going somewhere between 60-70mph. the 30 lbs test, nylon fishing line was attached to the kite on one end, and the other end got wrapped around my grandfather’s pinkie finger and tore most of it off, requiring extensive plastic surgery. he didn’t really care. he was already missing half of his thumb and all of his index finger on that same hand from a tragic accident he had had at the crystal sugar factory in chaska, mn when he was in his early 20s. he just wanted the kite back and he made my grandmother jump in the car and chase down the driver while he argued with his neighbor that he didn’t need to go to the hospital. i swear to you, every single word of that is true).

anyway, i overcame

my fears for

maddy and did

my best to get

her spiderman parasiling

kite up into the air.

she was interested

in it for about

two seconds

before disappearing

with her grandma candee.

grandpa tom and i

were far

more interested and

played with it until

the sun went down.

…

the next we said

goodbye to everyone

and flew back

to los angeles.

when we got home,

maddy’s brookie

had another gift

waiting for

her.

(my child will never lack for love).

34 months.

…

it’s been awhile

since i felt

like this on

a 25th.

i never forget

the day,

(never)

or what happened

all those

months ago.

(never).

but sometimes i

i don’t realize it’s

the 25th until

i’m halfway through

the day.

but on this 25th,

i was feeling it.

all day.

i don’t know why.

…

that evening i

got to

my happiness.

my madeline.

she was excited

to see me.

“daddy! daddy!”

so excited.

and i was happy.

then a woman

walks in.

“mason…your mommy’s here”

said the daycare woman.

maddy looked up

at me.

the bluest of eyes.

(eyes like her mom).

long eyelashes.

(lashes like her mom).

her long, blonde

hair pulled

back in a ponytail,

bangs sweeping across

the right side of

her face.

(just like her mom).

a black cardigan

hanging on her shoulders.

(her mom loved black cardigans).

“i don’t have a mommy.”

…

she was looking at me.

but she was

saying it to everyone.

…

on the way

home we talked again

about her mom.

i told her

the truth.

her reality.

again.

i cried.

she could hear me.

she suggested a song

that she knew

would make me feel better.

the song played.

(her current favorite – “ladies” by lee fields).

i was happy again.

it wasn’t the song…

it was her.

helping me through.

(as always).

knowing when i needed

her to say something

to get me

out of a moment.

(i’m lucky).

but for the

second week in a row

i had to face

my past.

while i

discussed my past.

from the 10th

floor i could see

573 1/2 & 6001.

(they’re there in the distance).

5 years in

those spots

planning for, and

working toward a future

that only i

would see.

…

years earlier, through

the windows of

573 1/2 & 6001,

i looked down

the street.

the street that

no long exists.

the street reclaimed

by the museum.

the street covered

in grass

and replaced by

a forest of

202 street lights.

my eyes would

wander across

wilshire and up the

sides of the

tall building that

used to guide me

home when i

first moved to

this city.

i wondered

what was inside.

…

i’m standing in

that building,

right now.

after years of wondering,

today is the

day i finally figured

out what was

behind the glass.

and like so much

of this,

i wish i’d never

found out.

through the branches.

a tea room.

a restaurant.

third street.

a short walk

from my former home.

our former home.

for the last three

days i’ve stared out

that window.

through those branches.

at all of the places

we used to visit.

the circumstances that

led me to this

place, still unbelievable

(when i allow myself to think about them).

i’ve lived them.

i’ve written about them.

and for the

last three days,

i’ve read them aloud

to two strangers

and a microphone.

i dreaded this.

but i’m keenly aware

that this is part of

my

process for moving through,

so i did it.

the difficult part:

staring back at the

words i’d written

months earlier,

words that had been

stuck in my mind

since the day

she died…

and finally.

speaking them.

to some degree

i’d let go of

them after i’d

written them down,

a cathartic process

necessary for healing.

but reading them now…

well, talk about

a fucked-up

time machine.

three days

of staring out

that window.

through those branches.

at third street.

on the third day.

the end of the words.

relief.

not because it’s

all over.

but because the

process continues.

and once again,

i survived something

i never dreamed i could.

getting a little long

and i’ve learned

that i suck

at cutting hair,

so i took

her to a professional.

…

i could see the

tears welling up

in jeanette’s

eyes as she

stared at my

best girl.

and i knew what she

was thinking.

…

i convinced maddy

to take a seat.

as jeanette took the

rubber hair band out

of her hair,

i couldn’t believe

how long it was.

i mean, i’m constantly

putting it up

in a ponytail,

but for some

reason, seeing her

in that chair,

i thought about

the days when

i worried that she

would remain bald forever

(i concerned myself with some pretty ridiculous shit early on in her life).

and as jeanette

brushed the giant

knot out of maddy’s

hair, my mind

faded back into

that numb, murky

place i was in

for so long after

liz

died.

…

“what should we do with it?”

that’s what jeanette

said to bring me

back to reality.

i’d been gone,

thinking about

the many times i

sat in this place

trying to pretend i

wasn’t interested

in the stupid

celeb magazine i flipped

through as i waited

for her

to be finished

with her haircut.

“i have no idea.”

and i really didn’t.

all i

hoped was that

jeanette would trim

maddy’s bangs so she

wasn’t constantly

brushing them away

from her eyes.

after a few

seconds of silence,

jeanette ran her

fingers through maddy’s

hair a couple

of times and said,

“i’m gonna give her a liz haircut.’

i nodded.

“i think she would have liked that.”

…

a few minutes later

jeanette was

done and was

working on

braiding maddy’s hair.

i was happy

because i could

see the content

look on both

of their faces.

…

on the way out

the door, jeanette

looked at maddy.

“bye, liz.”

i pretended not

to hear,

not because i was

hurt or upset,

but because i

could see the

tears welling up

in her eyes again

and i didn’t want

her to think that

she had made me sad.

she looked at me..

“i’m so sorry.”

shit.

she knew i heard her.

“please don’t be.”

i knew she felt

awful, but i

found some comfort

in it.

…

i’ve mentioned it before,

but we all see her

in her.

and i love it when

others remind me

that i’m not the

only one who’s

thinking about her.

sometimes it’s these

shared memories

that get us through,

and it seems

that we’re all

thankful for them,

because feeling alone

in the aftermath

feels almost as

awful as the

moment it happened.

that my daughter

looks like her mother.

and when i say

everyone, i mean everyone.

*our family.

*our friends.

*strangers who’ve only seen photos of them.

…

when i look

at madeline i,

(of course),

recognize the resemblance.

and when i remember

liz,

and when i see

photos of

liz,

that connection becomes

even more apparent.

…

during our recent

trip to minnesota

i got to see

a bunch of

photos of

liz

as a toddler.

i couldn’t believe it.

neither could maddy.

in fact, she had

a hard time

determining if the

photo she saw was

of her

or of her mom.

…

then tonight

i got a message

from a friend

asking me some

questions about what

liz

looked like

at maddy’s age.

well…

…

i’ve been asked

many times

before, if it’s

hard for me to

see such a

striking resemblance

between maddy and

her mom.

the answer?

fuck no.

i find nothing but comfort

in seeing

liz

in maddy.

and why shouldn’t i?

with each trip

to minnesota,

they started to appear.

new to me.

new to maddy,

but obviously

only new to

the two of us.

first it was

the bucket of crayons.

then the silk pillow

and matching silk blanket.

then the baton

with the water

and green glitter inside.

this trip?

a plastic doll house

and all the

accessories that

belonged inside.

no one

had to say anything.

i knew they

belonged to

liz

when she was child.

i could tell

the age of each

item simply by

noticing the wear,

but the more

obvious signal

that they belonged

to her was in the

looks her parents

had on their faces

as maddy enjoyed

playing with them.

they were happy.

because these things…

they’re not being

treated as museum relics,

banished to some

storage box never

to be seen again.

they’re in maddy’s hands,

taking the abuse

of another 2.5

year old.

just as they would

have if

liz

were alive.

so as maddy’s crayons

wander off of the paper

and on to the table,

or as maddy’s pillow gets

covered in drool,

or maddy’s baton is used

as a golf club,

or as maddy’s dollhouse

accessories get thrown

from one end of

the room to

the other,

all of us

can watch,

smiling together,

happy to see

her so happy.

for my plan of

hiking and reading everyday.

i feel like i’m

busier now than

ever before.

let’s get right into it…

on august 11th

the goodmans arrived

for our third

annual trip to celebrate

my wedding anniversary.

while we waited

for them to arrive

i watched maddy

try to drive

my car,

play with some

bamboo sticks,

and pick the flowers

in our yard.

as she played

i thought about

liz

and the fact

that i had two

wedding anniversaries with

her, and now

three without her.

it just didn’t

seem possible.

there was our child

playing in the yard,

just as

liz

pictured it.

fuck.

***

the next day

we were all on

our way to central california.

maddy entertained

us the entire way

her new favorite thing?

to hear stories

with her as the

main character.

we all laughed

our asses off

as she would yell,

“talk about the maddy”

at the end of

each story.

grandma candee and

grandpa tom tell me

that this is

in the genes…

liz

used to sit on

a swing, yelling,

“somebody push me!”

let me translate both

phrases for you.

“pay attention to me!”

i love to see

those personality traits

coming through, even

though the only

time they had

together was

while maddy was in

the womb.

along the way,

we made an

unplanned stop.

as soon as we

turned into the

lookout point,

i recognized the place…

we had been

here a few years earlier.

almost exactly four

years ago.

i had just returned

from india,

just in time for

our first wedding anniversary.

and we headed up

to the santa ynez valley

to visit the wineries.

along the way,

we had stopped here.

in this very place.

instantly recalled from

the depths of

my mind,

the photo of

liz.

double fuck.

we were parked

and we all needed

to stretch our legs,

so we did.

and we took some photos.

soon we were

back in the car

and on our way,

but i couldn’t

help but think of

that time

four years earlier.

i just wish i could

remember more of it.

***

after a few more

hours of driving,

including a nice drive

along a very dark

pacific coast highway,

we finally found the

place that candee

had booked for us.

candee and debbie

offered to hang out

with maddy while

tom, brooke and i

went on a search

for food.

as it turns out,

there are no grocery

stores or restaurants open

past 10:00 on a week

night in that

part of the world.

so that night we

ate food from

a gas station a few

miles south of

where we stayed.

and it was awesome.

***

the next morning

we headed to san simeon

to check out

hearst castle.

we took a tour

that was shortened

for some of us

because madeline decided

she liked hearing her

voice echo in

the huge rooms.

we rejoined the

rest of the group

and madeline fell

in love with the

indoor pool.

no trip to

any historical monument

would be complete

without a stop

in the gift shop.

brooke (or “brookie” as maddy calls her)

picked up a

toy for maddy

that had both of

us reliving our childhoods.

soon we were back

at the house…

while the ladies

slept, i went on

a short photo

excursion with tom.

after nap time,

we went to visit

the elephant seals…

that night we had

an even better meal

than the night before.

this time from

a grocery store,

and not a gas station.

***

the next morning

we jumped in the car

and headed north

toward monterey so

we could take in

one of maddy’s

favorite activities…

checking out an aquarium.

we had a lovely

drive up the pch

and after a short

stop at pebble beach,

we found ourselves

at the aquarium,

where maddy’s mind

was officially blown.

and then she

got a little confused.

after an early dinner

in monterey, we

drove home,

enjoying the sun set.

once it got dark,

the lovely twists

and turns we experienced

on a well-lit

pch became a little

too much for

some of us to handle

(i won’t mention any names here).

the next morning

we explored the back yard

then checked out of

our place and stopped

to see maddy’s new

favorite animals.

brooke took control of

my camera for

a few minutes,

and got some of

my favorite photos ever.

soon we were

on the road

back to los angeles,

but we made sure

we stopped along

the way.

first, in morro bay,

where maddy thought

for a few seconds

that she didn’t want

her feet to

touch the sand

then decided she

didn’t care.

later we stopped in

san luis obispo

and i almost threw

up in bubble gum alley.

(so, so gross).

we had a short

stop for lunch

(and coloring)

then got stuck

in some awful traffic

on the way

through santa barbara.

while we waited,

brooke and i

settled on a destination

for her birthday trip

(which was the next tuesday).

a couple of hours later

we were back in

los angeles, and after

a quick unpacking/repacking

of our bags,

we were in the

car and on our way

to vegas while

maddy stayed back with

grandma, grandpa and auntie debbie.

we made it to vegas

in record time, and

got checked into

our hotel at 1:30am.

we went out for

a couple of hours,

and i watched as brooke

won a few dollars.

(i lost $20).

the next morning we

caught up with

my friend mark

who was in town from

the mn.

the three of us

hit the pool at

mgm, doing our best

to stay cool in the

awful heat

(we probably should have just stayed inside).

after a long day

at the pool,

we had

a great dinner

at the belaggio.

the next day

we walked through a

couple of casinos

and had lunch

before brooke found

a slot machine

that just called

her name.

within minutes

she won $120.

from a penny slot machine.

birthday girl’s luck.

i lost $40.

and like total

tourists, we had

to get a photo doing this:

and this:

soon we were back

in the car

and on our way

back to maddy.

i insisted we stop

and take a photo here:

four hours later

we were back home.

it was important

and necessary

for us to get away

(as it is for any couple),

but we both missed that

little girl so much,

and were happy to be home.

***

the next day we

said goodbye

to the goodmans

and it was back

to our everyday lives.

i’m pretty damn lucky

to have such

great people in

my life…

such understanding in-laws,

and an understanding

woman in brooke.

***

something i failed to write about (at least on my blog) was my experience at camp widow. you can read more about it here.

my favorite part of the weekend (besides getting to hang out with new and old friends), was fulfilling a life long dream of giving away a giant check (on behalf of the liz logelin foundation).

the recipient of this grant, emily morgan, is the 43rd llf grant recipient. it’s primarily readers of this blog that made this possible, and i wanted to make sure that you all got special thanks.

also, i wanted to remind folks that the llf walk run hope 5k and celebration of hope gala are coming up. we’d love to have you at both events, so sign up as soon as possible to beat the deadline for the 5k and to get discounted tickets for the gala.

please help us give out more big checks.

thanks,

m.

(oh…and a book update coming soon. seriously. like, on or before this friday).