from the moment

i found out

we were having a daughter…

i wondered if i would

ever have to deal

with it when

she looked like this:

but as she got

older and her hair

got longer,

the day would

come that

i would have to

braid her hair.

“a braid? what’s the big deal?”

so many have said,

but i have no

idea how to braid hair.

and i’m the only

person in the world

who, despite years

of practice, can’t

tie an effective

fisherman’s knot

(an absolute sin in my family).

i’ve lost more lures

than any one can

count, and i’ve blamed

the fish rather

than my own inability

to tie a simple knot

(sorry dad & nick).

and you should have

seen the mess of

improvised knots i

used to tie

our christmas tree

to the roof of

my car.

a braid…

a braid

is even more

complicated because

it would be in

my daughter’s hair,

so there is a

potential for an

immense amount of

pain inflicted upon

her as i make attempt

after attempt to get

the braid just right.

i’d spent countless

days turning down

brooke’s offer to

teach me how to do it

(because i was scared)

but not long ago,

i acquiesced and

tried to learn the

proper technique,

first, by watching,

then i had brooke

start the braid

and allow me to finish.

(this happened twice)

then two nights

ago, i decided to

try it on my own…

no screaming, no blood.

and when maddy said,

“that didn’t hurt at all, daddy!”

i was sure i

had succeeded.

(haven’t been this proud of myself in a very long time).

(and yes, maddy is wearing an “eazy duz it” shirt).

they came today,

a torrent of them,

an attempt to

make sense of

your little world,

combining the things

we talk about

every day in an

(almost)

4 year

old’s level of comprehension.

while digging your

spoon into a bowl of

(what i learned from grandpa tom g. a few nights ago)

was your mom’s

favorite cereal.

“daddy, why did mommy want to buy this house?”

i was surprised. this

is not a question

you’ve asked before.

“she wanted you to have a yard to play in and she loved all of the trees and plants. especially the lemon and grapefruit trees.”

“oh. i love you, daddy. can i have some orange juice, please?”

then you asked

a bunch

of questions about

how grandmas can

also be moms.

then in the car…

“daddy, what did you and mommy do for fun?”

again, not a question

i’ve heard from

you before.

i told you about

our travels, our nights

with friends, everything

i could think

of before the next

question interrupted me…

“why was my mommy in the hospital?”

i told you

why she

was there, and how

her only care

in the world was

getting you

out safely.

as much as the

previous questions

took me by surprise,

the next one took

the wind out of me.

“daddy, did you hold my mommy’s hand when she died?”

fuck.

as i tried to

breath and to

figure out how

to answer that one

(how do i explain to you at this point in your life that i was rushed out of the room so the doctors and nurses could work on you mom, and that it was impossible for me to hold her hand until after she had already died?).

i started bawling,

impossible to hide

my tears from you.

i did my best

to explain it to you,

but what i said

will never take

away what happened that day.

i looked in

my mirror to see

you reaching for me.

i reached back for

you, my hand now

in yours,

you rubbing my hand

the way i rubbed your

mom’s

that day

(and many before it).

“daddy, i love you.”

you knew i

needed that.

“i love you too, maddy.”

sometimes i forget

how mature you are,

and how you understand

and comprehend more

than i think you do.

“you know, you can ask me anything about your mommy, and you can talk about her anytime, right?”

“yeah. daddy. i know.”

and as i worried

about how i’d fucked up

your day by crying

you said,

“daddy. oliver is not on my imagination team anymore.”

and i just laughed.

“it’s not funny, daddy!”

you yelled back at me.

and no, it’s not,

but it was.

and i’m sorry i didn’t

ask why he was

no longer on your team,

or what the fuck

an imagination team

actually is.

of near constant

travel, it was decided

that we should

take a break from

airplanes and celebrate

christmas at home

in los angeles.

that meant that

for the second time

in my life,

(and the first for maddy and brooke)

i spent a christmas

away from minnesota.

even though i dislike

the holiday, i really

do like being around

friends and family

during the holidays

and it was going to

be tough for all

of us to be away.

so we made sure we

kept ourselves very busy.

we played with

my records

we made cookies

for santa,

went on a hunt

for tamales

finally finding them,

and buying them

out of the back

of a woman’s

miniature van,

(they were fucking amazing).

also, both maddy

and i were sick

which sucked.

we made a trip

to the doctor

and learned that she

had two ear infections

and was close to pneumonia.

not awesome.

the good news

was that this

all got diagnosed

and medicine was prescribed

before everything

shut down for the holidays.

more importantly, it

was christmas eve

and she’d soon

be getting the

kind of medicine

that makes every sick

kid feel great…

presents.

we spent the evening

talking to

our families on skype and

maddy got to open

a few gifts…

her favorite of the

evening was the

doctor kit

(how apropos, eh?),

which she used

on me until

it was time for bed.

and as excited as

she was about her

presents, she was

even more excited to

have brooke open

up the gift she

picked out for her

(a rainbow-colored wallet).

after dictating a note

for santa,

and recording a

video for him

she tried her

best to sleep.

…

the next morning

she woke up to

a stocking full

of gifts and another

pile under the tree.

“this is so cool!”

“i love this!”

was all we heard

as she unwrapped

the gifts she

hoped santa would deliver

(yes, she got a baby dragon (stuffed animal) and a slingshot (that fires foam balls)).

as well as a bunch of

things she never

knew she wanted

(there were plenty of gifts that brooke and i bought so we could relive our own childhoods through her).

and then she stopped

interacting with us

altogether so she could

devote her full

attention to her

new toys.

…

we had seen our

families and opened

gifts, but it still

didn’t feel like

christmas, so i

decided that we should

fix that by

driving into the

mountains to find

some snow.

it seemed fruitless,

but fewer than

30 miles from

our house we found

what we were

looking for.

up at the top

we took in

the view

and played

in the snow

on the way down

we decided to load

some snow onto

the top of the car

and bring a little

back to our house.

we made a couple

of stops on the

way back down

before finally making

it home.

we had a nice

little pile of

snow in our front yard

and showed it

off to our families

back in minnesota

who informed us

that we had more snow

than they did.

i built maddy

the biggest snowperson

i could with

the snow we had

it was so fun

to watch maddy

get as excited about

the holiday as

her mom used to.

in years past

she was a bit

too young to do

more than just tear

through wrapping paper

and play with boxes

but this year

she knew what

she wanted, reported it

to everyone she talked to

and lost her shit

when santa granted

her requests.

watching her enjoy christmas

as much as she did

made me rethink

my hatred of the holiday.

…

finally, i wanted to remind folks that if you’re looking to help widowed families in need and are still looking for a tax deduction for 2011, you have until december 31st to make a donation to the liz logelin foundation.

as always, you can donate directly to the foundation by one of the following methods:

our website:

(network for good requires a $7 minimum donation)

our paypal account:

(no minimum)

or by mailing a check to postmarked no later than dec. 31st to:

the liz logelin foundation
po box 55426
saint louis park, mn 5542
(no minimum)

legal stuff:

the liz logelin foundation is a 501(c) 3 non-profit corporation.
all donations are tax deductible.
ein# 26-3994826 dln# 17053110001049

and if you’re not on our mailing list, here’s the text of the emails we’ve sent out appealing for year-end donations:

email #1:

Jordan’s Story:

Knowing You’re Not Alone

Last winter, Jordan’s daughter was born. In March, his wife died. In May, he read Matt’s book and discovered the Liz Logelin Foundation.

Jordan has a strong, local support network of family and friends – people who are, a winter later, still showing up to baby-sit and cook. People who encouraged him to set up a diaper fund, then contributed to the fund, then continued to do so, such that Jordan has never had to buy diapers for Sawyer, now eight months old. Because of these people, when Jordan discovered the Liz Logelin Foundation, he looked up the website. He clicked to the contributions page. He donated.

When I hear this, I am stunned. “But why?” I ask. “Donate? Why not apply?” Jordan keeps grounds, baseball diamonds in central Florida, and he can’t be a man of unlimited means. And if not for logistics, then there would at least be some comfort in the grant’s award, being acknowledged by an entity thousands of miles away.

“Because I am lucky,” Jordan tells me. “Complete strangers have helped me out. I wanted to do the same for someone else.”

In Matt’s book, Jordan found an eerie mirror of his own journey.

“I know it can’t be the same, but it felt that way,” he says. In that mutual experience, there was the comfort crossing thousands of miles.

Through the phone, I hear Sawyer, eight months old, squealing. Jordan laughs lightly and assures me we are hearing happiness. From her tiny, distinct voice, I realize then the Foundation is not so much an entity as it is a collection of individuals. Individuals who know when life follows an illogical course, an unexpected generosity can help us find a stranger on a common journey.

This holiday season let your generosity shine through. Make a donation in someone’s name as a holiday gift or in memory of someone you love. A donation of $25, $50, $100 or even $250 will make a profound impact on someone’s life.

Give to the Liz Logelin Foundation.

Thank you to everyone who has already taken the time to donate this holiday season.

If you haven’t yet, don’t wait – join Jordan and donate now.

(Jordan’s story was told by Kate Erickson who lives and writes in NYC).

email #2:

Waiting for Hope

Last summer, not long after Lee had moved into a small house in northern Minnesota, his new neighbor called across the shared fence.

Lee and the woman traded names and basic details, the pleasantries of young, suburban parents scouting playmates for their children. And then they discovered a similarity, an understanding each would have never wished in the other. Lee and his neighbor had both recently lost their spouses; each is learning to process their grief while raising children alone.

Lee, a meticulous meteorologist, can name the very specific ways his wife’s suicide has changed his experience of the world.

He speaks to more strangers, because he misses adult conversation.

When he is working through the night – while the babysitter is bathing his four year-old, the child sobbing through a fever – he cries looking at the photograph of his wife on his desk. Those particular tears come from fear, frustration, anger.

His work is by contract, freelance, so the loss of his wife’s income meant the loss of family health care and the accumulation of over ten thousand dollars in medical bills in the last year.

“I don’t want to win the lottery, but I worry about this winter’s heating bill,” Lee said. “You save the aces for the last part of the game, and I’ve pulled my aces.”

In the summer sun, Lee’s neighbor understood.

“Have you heard of The Liz Logelin Foundation?” she asked. Lee had not, and right there, over a fence in a pair of backyards, emerged the best reason for the LLF: reaching out of a similar tragedy, one can reveal a source of hope.

This holiday season change someone’s life. Give to the Liz Logelin Foundation. A donation of $25, $50, $100 or even $250 will make a profound impact on someone’s life.

Donate now and end Lee’s wait for hope.

this year.

then santa asked

madeline what she

wanted him to

bring to her…

you can see maddy’s

enthusiasm as she

tells santa,

“i want a baby dragon and a slingshot.”

santa laughed

(and looked more than a little surprised).

the photographer looked

at me and said,

“that’s pretty cool. i hear ipad or video games from most kids.”

the slingshot is wrapped

(it’s one that fires soft foam balls ’cause i’m not ready to dodge rocks or any other hard projectiles)

and now i just

need to find

a baby dragon…

we went from doing

this in los angeles:

to doing this

in minnesota:

maddy and i left

california before brooke

(who had to work)

so we could attend

maddy’s cousin weston’s

first birthday party

along with all

of her other cousins.

a good time

was had by

all, but as

you may expect in

the chaotic environment

that is an indoor

play area in minnesota

during a much

colder than normal day,

there were a

few injuries…

maddy’s cousin ava

fractured a finger,

and maddy herself took an

errant four-square ball

to the face.

(ouch).

but i’m happy to

say that i didn’t

cause any of

the injuries

while doing this:

or this:

and of course,

almost every single attendee

(both big and small)

ended up with a

wicked cold.

…

within a day

or two, the snow

was gone

(well, almost gone)

and the turkeys

were on the run

which meant that

thanksgiving was almost

upon us, and that

of course meant

that everyone would soon

be in town.

first to arrive

was deb,

who relived part of

her childhood,

and added another

defining moment

to maddy’s by

helping her

build this awesome

marble run:

(at the same time, giving me an idea for what maddy will be getting from santa this year).

(also, kranky is the name of a record label).

then brooke arrived

and we had

a big party with everyone

…

on thanksgiving we

visited three different

houses, though photos

exist for only

one of the visits

because it was a rare

moment that my

dad and all

of his sons

(and two grandkids)

were in the same place

at the same time.

from there we

went to tom and candee’s

house and then

on to my mom’s.

…

friday was a day of

go-cart racing

with my brothers,

friends, and deb & dawn

and a day

of rest for maddy,

who was still

feeling the effects

of the illness she

picked up earlier

in the trip.

…

by saturday, she

felt better, so brooke,

ashley and i

took maddy to the

children’s museum

maddy walked away

with a new

cape and mask

and ran around

proclaiming herself

“superhero batman”

(batman is a new obsession since one of the boys at her school dressed up like batman for halloween)

that night

we decorated some cookies

and i spent two

hours on this:

and then promptly

let maddy eat it.

…

tired and exhausted,

the next day

we were on flight

back to los angeles.

i lost track of

a few days there,

but it’s gonna take

me a very, very long

time before i

forget the hell

we experienced late

last week.

first, our part

of the world

got hit by some

epic windstorms

which led to a power outage.

i have to admit,

the first night

without power

wasn’t so bad…

it went out late

wednesday night

and it had very

little effect on us.

the second night was

actually kind of fun…

the three of us

went out for

dinner then when

maddy went to

bed, brooke and

i read by candlelight

(it felt positively 1820 or so in here for a few nights).

then it happened…

“daddy! my tummy hurts!”

it was late,

maybe 2:00 or 3:00

in the morning.

i rushed into

her room with

a flashlight,

got her up

and into the bathroom.

nothing came up.

within seconds of climbing

back into bed,

everything came up.

she threw up

all over her bed.

no problem.

we got her sheets,

blanket and pillowcase

off and ready for

the washing machine…

wait.

no power means no

way to wash

the vomit-soaked linens.

okay, instead of washing

them, we go them

into a garbage bag

and put the bag on the

porch until the power

came back on.

new linens on the

bed and bucket

by her head,

we all attempted to

go back to sleep.

soon it happened again.

the whole bit.

and again.

and again.

and again.

(for those of you trying to do the math, that’s 5 times).

and three times

it was all over

her pajamas.

not once did

she hit the bucket,

(i don’t blame her for this…it’s pretty fucking difficult to wake up from a deep sleep and vomit directly into a bucket).

at this point,

we were down to

our last set of linens.

sometime in the morning

she puked once

more, this time it was

about 8 ounces of

red gatorade on to

our light brown couch.

with 7 bags of

clothes/linens on

the front porch,

it was time to

give maddy a bath.

oh yeah.

never mind.

with no power

we have no hot water.

with some help

from a phone call

from the bastard,

i was reminded that

i could light the

stove manually

so that i could boil

water to ensure a

warm bath.

with the bath tub filled

half way with

cold water, i proceeded

to use all four

burners to boil water.

it took three rounds

of boiling water

to fill

the tub up the

rest of the way.

as i laid down

on the floor

next to the tub

i sighed, coming to

the conclusion that

living without power

really sucks.

and having one

or the other of

these problems

by themselves

would have been fine,

but combining them

was the kind

of nightmare i

hope to never

witness again

…

it wasn’t until early

saturday morning

that we woke up

to every light and

television in the

house coming on

at once.

i was never so excited

by the prospect

of doing laundry.

and i’ve vowed to

never again

take electricity for granted..

…

as some of you may already know (and thanks to many of you), my book, two kisses for maddy won the goodreads choice award in the best memoir & autobiography category. i’m incredibly surprised and thankful, and more than a little hopeful that this doesn’t make me the creed or nickleback of the literary world (you know, a fan favorite and a critical disaster). that said, i’m thrilled to have your support.

a couple of

airline vouchers

at a charity auction

and they

needed to be

used up by

the end of october,

so i gave maddy

and brooke the option

of going to hawaii

(warm weather, beaches, hiking, relaxation)

or heading up

to alaska

(cold weather, cold weather, cold weather)

to visit my brother

and his family.

they were unanimous.

alaska.

(damn).(that’s not to say i didn’t want to go alaska, but i knew just how bad the weather would be and i was sort of looking forward to building some sandcastles on the beach).

maddy was looking

forward to meeting

her cousin for the

first time after

a few

(completely one-sided)

phone calls and

a couple of sorta

interactive skype conversations,

and brooke

knew that there

would be ample

photo opportunities.

so we jumped on

a plane,

made a short stop

in seattle

and eventually

landed in anchorage,

excited to

meet her cousin.

my brother nick,

his wife molly

and their little guy

(weston)

picked us up

at the airport

and we headed off

to a cabin in girdwood.

before heading to bed

maddy and weston

got acquainted,

and maddy learned

that someone on

her dad’s side

of the family actually

has some musical talent.

…

the next morning we

explored the back yard

(maddy wasn’t a huge fan of the cold weather or the rain…she is definitely a southern california girl).

maddy went back

inside to play

with her cousin

while my brother

and his friend charlie

showed us around

the town.

after breakfast we

all jumped in the car

and drove toward whittier.

maddy was pretty

excited about

driving through the

nearly 2.5 mile tunnel,

but i had to

break the news to her

that she wasn’t

going to be able

to hold her breath

from end-to-end.

we had lunch

on the harbor

and then maddy

learned just how

awesome rain

(and rain boots)

can be.

nick drove us

around a bit

before telling us

about an abandoned

building called

the buckner building

that he’d always

wanted to explore.

he gave us

what history he knew,

(old, abandoned government building that was once the largest building in alaska)

which made me that

much more curious

to check it out.

i was in,

but the littlest

among us were not

allowed inside, and molly

and brooke offered

to stay back with

them so we could

go in check it out.

camera in hand,

we explored

the outside of

the building

before heading in

the inside of the

building was filled

with ankle-deep water,

and was obviously

in serious disrepair,

so after only about

15 minutes inside

we decided it

was in our best

interest to leave

before one of us

was injured.

as we drove

out of town

i did a little research

and learned that

the building became unlivable

as a result of the

1964 earthquake

and then i got to

this part:

“The building is a local hang out for kids, and is often explored by tourists. The safety of the building is marginal, due to the asbestos and questionable structural integrity.”

i stopped,

“nick, that building is filled with asbestos!”

we agreed that

it was good

that we only

had about 15 minutes

of exposure.

then i read

the next part

out loud:

“Bears are often found inside the building in the spring, and it is full of ice and precariously dangling pipes, wires, and substructure.”

(info borrowed from from wikipedia)

nick said,

“what did you just say?”

i re-read it.

“bears? holy shit! can you imagine if we encountered a bear in that place?”

no.

i couldn’t.

that would have

been terrifying.

but it sounds

like the beginning

of some awesome

post-apocalyptic

graphic novel.

(i better get to work on that)

with that scary

place getting

smaller and smaller

in our rearview mirror,

we headed

back through the tunnel

to this beautiful sight:

maddy was exhausted

so she went back

to the cabin

with auntie molly

and weston

while we took a

little drive to

a place called hope.

we stopped along

the way

and watched some

beluga whales swimming

through the cook inlet

(i didn’t get any photos of them).

we arrived in

hope and found everything

closed for the season.

(last time my brother and i were in hope we (along with two of his friends) thought we were stopping for a beer and a burger, but we ended up staying over night, pitching our tents and sleeping outside of the bar).

we walked around

for a bit

before heading back

toward girdwood.

we stopped to check

out a rafting spot

we hope to

hit next year

then i convinced

my brother to

stop on the side

of the road

so i could take photos

of something

i’ve been hoping to

shoot since i

first saw it in 2007.

…

the next day we

left the cabin

and drove back

to my brother’s

house in eagle river.

we took the kids

to an indoor play area

so maddy could

run around.

she spent the rest of

the day playing

with weston and

his toys

and neither one

of them could’ve

been happier.

…

the next day

nick took us

on a little road trip

to talkeetna.

there were

(of course)

lots of stops for photos

nick showed

us where he gets

picked up by the

float place for work

a couple of times

each week.

it just so happens

to be a few docks

down from one

of alaska’s most

famous residents.

(we decided not to stop in for a visit).

as we drove

it got colder

and colder, and soon

the rain turned

into snow

much to maddy’s delight.

the snow stopped

but we kept driving.

nick showed us

a road

(mostly)

engineered by some beavers

which gave brooke

an opportunity to

test her new boots.

a bit later

we stopped so maddy

could walk around and

play in the mud

and water.

brook shot a .22 for

the first time

in her life.

nick and i were

very proud of her

for hitting the empty

can we’d set up

for her, that is,

until we retrieved it

and found neither

an entry nor exit hole.

she hadn’t hit shit,

but she was close.

we continued on,

stopping in talkeetna for

some lunch.

we stopped a

few times on the

way back.

i made nick pull

over so i could

take a photo

of one of the

dumbest things

i’ve ever seen

we got to see a

bit more of the

beauty of alaska

before the sun set

on our last

night in town.

…

on our last

day in town

we did a little

shopping anchorage.

oh. and before we

left, i made maddy

do this:

on the flight home

brooke asked maddy,

“what was your favorite part about alaska?”

“playing with weston.”

awww…

(today’s 11/11/11, and it would have been oour friend maddie spohr’s 4th birthday. visit her parent’s blog and learn how you can help raise money for the foundation they started in her name).

who celebrates halloween,

madeline’s costume is based

on her current obsession.

in the past couple

of months she’s

pretended to be:

diego,

robinhood,

and

peter pan.

the diego obsession

was obvious, because

she’d seen a few

episodes on tv.

i think her

love for robinhood

came from a record

i bought and played

for her, but

i have no idea

where her peter pan

obsession came from.

one day

she told us

to start calling

her peter pan.

a couple of weeks

ago, maddy said

she was

for sure going to

be peter pan

for halloween.

not only that, but

she told us that

i would be captain hook

and brooke would

be tinkerbell.

so brookie immediately

went online

and found

our costumes

this is the first

year that maddy

really cared about

halloween or about

what her costume

would be and it’s

been a ton

of fun to

see her literally shaking

with excitement each time

the peter pan costume

is pulled from

the closet.

and because halloween

goes on for multiple days,

(when i was a kid it was the 31st and the 31st only)

she had several

opportunities to wear

her costume.

on saturday she wore

it to costume

day at dance class,

and of all the girls

who were dressed up,

she was the only

non-princess.

(tears of pride rolling down my face).

on sunday we got

all dressed up

for some photos:

and then we headed

to the pumpkin

patch in west hollywood

for some time in

the bounce house

as well as

a little face painting.

(yes, she chose the zombie face paint over the butterfly, cat and pumpkin options).

we rode a giant

rocking horse

climbed in a

giant pumpkin

rode in,

and pulled a wagon.

and finally,

monday the 31st

rolled around and

it was time to

take her trick or treating.

our neighborhood is

dark and it appears

that few of our

neighbors are interested

in contributing to

the rottening of

children’s teeth, so

we did something i

swore to myself

i would never do with

my child…

we went to an

organized trick or

treating event

in a commercial area

rather than

a residential neighborhood.

yeah.

i felt like

a horrible parent.

anyway, we went to

old town pasadena

where maddy did

a little trick or treating

in some of the

local businesses, like:

restaurants

shoe & clothing stores

bars

tiffany

and the apple store.

at first she

was a little skeptical

about our suggestion

that walking into these

businesses and repeating the

same phrase over

and over again would

yield a bag full

of candy,

but by the time

we got to the

third store front,

she got the hang

of it and was really,

really excited.

she also was pretty

happy that she got

to watch part of

a movie on a wall.

later, we headed home

and she was

able to stay awake

long enough to

hand some candy

to the only trick

or treaters who

stopped by our house.

i’m pretty sure

maddy had the time

of her life,

because as i put

her to bed last night,

she told me that

next year she wants

to do it all again.

but this time,

she wants to

be batman.

(i really love this kid).

we took maddy

to the playground.

we all had a

ton of fun.

until the next morning.

it was then

that i woke up to:

“daddy! i can’t open my eye!”

as i opened

her bedroom door,

i knew exactly

what the problem was…

poor little thing had

pink eye.

thankfully brooke

was willing and

able to sacrifice her

eyes for my two

good reasons…

i know from prior experience

just how susceptible

i am to pink eye

(i’ll tell you a story someday about how i met my first junior high girlfriend thanks to pink eye)

and because i was

scheduled to speak

at the west hollywood

book fair that afternoon,

so brooke hung out

with maddy while i

was away.

(i don’t know what i’d do without her).

later that day

we just had

to get out of the

house, so armed with

a bottle of

hand sanitizer and

a pair of sunglasses

we visited an

art show downtown,

then stopped at

olvera street in

an attempt to get

maddy to ride

the famous donkey.

it didn’t take

too much convincing

this time.

by mid-week

i was on a plane

and headed to

seattle to attend,

speak and represent

the liz logelin foundation

at the

national bereavement camp conference.

i know, i know,

it sounds awful, right?

well, dealing with

childhood bereavement

is not something

anyone really wants to

address, but it’s

a pretty major part

of my life and

i have to admit

it was great

to meet with

representatives of several

organizations who have

done so much to

help children grieving

in the wake

of a death of someone

close to them

(and the companies that fund these organizations).

much of the conference

focused on the grief

camps that make such a

huge difference in

the lives of these kids.

maddy’s a bit to

young to attend, but

i have a feeling

she may attend one

of these camps when

she’s a bit older.

though the word,

“motivational” that’s

used to described

speakers in these settings

doesn’t at all

apply to me,

people seemed okay

with the fact that i

simply got up and

told them the story

that has

defined a good portion

of my life over the

last few years

rather than throw

out a bunch

of catchphrases

and one-liners

for them to write down.

(well, at least no one booed me).

i also got to

read from my

book in front of

a bunch of people

at third place books.

(which just happens to be an awesome book store).

it was fucking rad

to see some old

friends like

amy l., john s., abby c., cassie d., rachel l.

and especially one of

liz’s

best friend’s from college, annie b.

there were

also some long-time

blog readers and lots

of new friends.

the reading went

well, with lots of

awesome questions from

the audience, as well as a

few tales of

inspiration and

at least one really

giant (and unexpected) donation

to the liz logelin foundation.

a bunch

of us went out

for dinner afterward

in order to

catch up and

enjoy some of

seattle’s nightlife.

(really wish amy l. could have made it, but she’s about to give birth, so wish her luck).

the next day

was another day

at the conference

then a night

on the town

with a couple of

friends who

just left los angeles

for seattle, and

the bastard, who flew

up for the weekend.

along with the arrival

of saturday morning,

came brooke she flew

up for her

first visit to the

city, and more specifically

to have lunch with

my friend, allison.

(maddy got a weekend with her auntie debbie).

before meeting up for

lunch, we met up

with the bastard

for a walk

around the touristy

section of seattle.

eventually it was

time for lunch

so we headed back

up the hill to

meet up with allison.

allison brought her sister

liz along for

the afternoon,

and the two

of them became quick

friends with brooke.

we spent much of

the afternoon laughing, walking

and getting lost

on our way to

the next shopping spot.

(it was nice of the girls to let me hang out with them).

i even bought a

couple of things, one

of which you’ll

see later in the post.

after exhausting most of

the shopping opportunities

in the area, we

said goodbye to

allison and liz, promising

to come visit again soon.

that night, we met

up with the recent

seattle transplants,

john and heather,

along with the bastard

for a ferry ride

(ummm…check out my awesome new sweater).

and dinner on

bainbridge island.

back on the

ferry after dinner,

it was photo time

and finally, a trip

to the space needle

(i just had to do it).

the next day

we were on

a flight back to

los angeles, eager

to see madeline.

while we were in

the air,

she spent her

afternoon at the beach swinging

with her auntie deb

and dawn, getting dragged

around by dawn’s dog, cody.

we met them at home

a few hours

later, at which time

i presented maddy

with the present

she requested from

our trip…

an umbrella.

(love that kid).

(oh, and thanks to everyone for the awesome seattle recommendations…we’re definitely going to have to visit again since we know so many people in the city, and because we didn’t get to do everything we wanted to do).