sitting here now,
i wonder what the
fuck frank thought
as he stood in the center
of his life’s master work,
looking up at his creation.
the lines,
perfection in form and geometry,
the sound,
precise in both noise
and silence.
from where i sit
i can see fourteen
of them,
and they’re distracting
me in ways that the
people around me,
the mix of pretentious
orchestra [...]
i got over my
fear of our
interior walls.
it wasn’t so much
the walls that i feared,
but creating holes
in them.
i used to imagine
using that tiny hammer
with the blue handle
to pound a nail in,
a vitiated strike,
the plaster crumbling,
a hole created,
the lath exposed.
it happened once,
months after that fear disappeared.
and when it did
my shoulders sunk,
my eyes fixed [...]
i’m still awake,
a fit of creativity
has settled upon
my brain, and has
translated into
eight fingers and two
thumbs, working to pound
out the
words i’ve struggled
to find.
tonight i spoke to
one of my best
friends in the world,
and she
cried for us.
happy tears,
knowing,
evident in the smile
in my photos,
the words that i
write and the sound
of my voice,
that i am
the happiest i’ve
been in a very [...]
coughing.
unwilling to cover my
face, though i’m
breathing in someone.
it somehow seems disrespectful
to cover the
holes through which
i breathe, as the
smoke of the
dead surrounds
me.
i’ve been here.
when you were
breathing.
five years ago.
watching a fire
burn for the
first time,
we covered our
noses, our mouths,
not knowing what
to do.
instead of watching,
we found ourselves
retreating.
then two years
later, just me
here again, still
unable to feel,
yet seated,
unmoving for [...]
