a couple of

airline vouchers

at a charity auction

and they

needed to be

used up by

the end of october,

so i gave maddy

and brooke the option

of going to hawaii

(warm weather, beaches, hiking, relaxation)

or heading up

to alaska

(cold weather, cold weather, cold weather)

to visit my brother

and his family.

they were unanimous.

alaska.

(damn).(that’s not to say i didn’t want to go alaska, but i knew just how bad the weather would be and i was sort of looking forward to building some sandcastles on the beach).

maddy was looking

forward to meeting

her cousin for the

first time after

a few

(completely one-sided)

phone calls and

a couple of sorta

interactive skype conversations,

and brooke

knew that there

would be ample

photo opportunities.

so we jumped on

a plane,

made a short stop

in seattle

and eventually

landed in anchorage,

excited to

meet her cousin.

my brother nick,

his wife molly

and their little guy

(weston)

picked us up

at the airport

and we headed off

to a cabin in girdwood.

before heading to bed

maddy and weston

got acquainted,

and maddy learned

that someone on

her dad’s side

of the family actually

has some musical talent.

…

the next morning we

explored the back yard

(maddy wasn’t a huge fan of the cold weather or the rain…she is definitely a southern california girl).

maddy went back

inside to play

with her cousin

while my brother

and his friend charlie

showed us around

the town.

after breakfast we

all jumped in the car

and drove toward whittier.

maddy was pretty

excited about

driving through the

nearly 2.5 mile tunnel,

but i had to

break the news to her

that she wasn’t

going to be able

to hold her breath

from end-to-end.

we had lunch

on the harbor

and then maddy

learned just how

awesome rain

(and rain boots)

can be.

nick drove us

around a bit

before telling us

about an abandoned

building called

the buckner building

that he’d always

wanted to explore.

he gave us

what history he knew,

(old, abandoned government building that was once the largest building in alaska)

which made me that

much more curious

to check it out.

i was in,

but the littlest

among us were not

allowed inside, and molly

and brooke offered

to stay back with

them so we could

go in check it out.

camera in hand,

we explored

the outside of

the building

before heading in

the inside of the

building was filled

with ankle-deep water,

and was obviously

in serious disrepair,

so after only about

15 minutes inside

we decided it

was in our best

interest to leave

before one of us

was injured.

as we drove

out of town

i did a little research

and learned that

the building became unlivable

as a result of the

1964 earthquake

and then i got to

this part:

“The building is a local hang out for kids, and is often explored by tourists. The safety of the building is marginal, due to the asbestos and questionable structural integrity.”

i stopped,

“nick, that building is filled with asbestos!”

we agreed that

it was good

that we only

had about 15 minutes

of exposure.

then i read

the next part

out loud:

“Bears are often found inside the building in the spring, and it is full of ice and precariously dangling pipes, wires, and substructure.”

(info borrowed from from wikipedia)

nick said,

“what did you just say?”

i re-read it.

“bears? holy shit! can you imagine if we encountered a bear in that place?”

no.

i couldn’t.

that would have

been terrifying.

but it sounds

like the beginning

of some awesome

post-apocalyptic

graphic novel.

(i better get to work on that)

with that scary

place getting

smaller and smaller

in our rearview mirror,

we headed

back through the tunnel

to this beautiful sight:

maddy was exhausted

so she went back

to the cabin

with auntie molly

and weston

while we took a

little drive to

a place called hope.

we stopped along

the way

and watched some

beluga whales swimming

through the cook inlet

(i didn’t get any photos of them).

we arrived in

hope and found everything

closed for the season.

(last time my brother and i were in hope we (along with two of his friends) thought we were stopping for a beer and a burger, but we ended up staying over night, pitching our tents and sleeping outside of the bar).

we walked around

for a bit

before heading back

toward girdwood.

we stopped to check

out a rafting spot

we hope to

hit next year

then i convinced

my brother to

stop on the side

of the road

so i could take photos

of something

i’ve been hoping to

shoot since i

first saw it in 2007.

…

the next day we

left the cabin

and drove back

to my brother’s

house in eagle river.

we took the kids

to an indoor play area

so maddy could

run around.

she spent the rest of

the day playing

with weston and

his toys

and neither one

of them could’ve

been happier.

…

the next day

nick took us

on a little road trip

to talkeetna.

there were

(of course)

lots of stops for photos

nick showed

us where he gets

picked up by the

float place for work

a couple of times

each week.

it just so happens

to be a few docks

down from one

of alaska’s most

famous residents.

(we decided not to stop in for a visit).

as we drove

it got colder

and colder, and soon

the rain turned

into snow

much to maddy’s delight.

the snow stopped

but we kept driving.

nick showed us

a road

(mostly)

engineered by some beavers

which gave brooke

an opportunity to

test her new boots.

a bit later

we stopped so maddy

could walk around and

play in the mud

and water.

brook shot a .22 for

the first time

in her life.

nick and i were

very proud of her

for hitting the empty

can we’d set up

for her, that is,

until we retrieved it

and found neither

an entry nor exit hole.

she hadn’t hit shit,

but she was close.

we continued on,

stopping in talkeetna for

some lunch.

we stopped a

few times on the

way back.

i made nick pull

over so i could

take a photo

of one of the

dumbest things

i’ve ever seen

we got to see a

bit more of the

beauty of alaska

before the sun set

on our last

night in town.

…

on our last

day in town

we did a little

shopping anchorage.

oh. and before we

left, i made maddy

do this:

on the flight home

brooke asked maddy,

“what was your favorite part about alaska?”

“playing with weston.”

awww…

(today’s 11/11/11, and it would have been oour friend maddie spohr’s 4th birthday. visit her parent’s blog and learn how you can help raise money for the foundation they started in her name).

we took maddy

to the playground.

we all had a

ton of fun.

until the next morning.

it was then

that i woke up to:

“daddy! i can’t open my eye!”

as i opened

her bedroom door,

i knew exactly

what the problem was…

poor little thing had

pink eye.

thankfully brooke

was willing and

able to sacrifice her

eyes for my two

good reasons…

i know from prior experience

just how susceptible

i am to pink eye

(i’ll tell you a story someday about how i met my first junior high girlfriend thanks to pink eye)

and because i was

scheduled to speak

at the west hollywood

book fair that afternoon,

so brooke hung out

with maddy while i

was away.

(i don’t know what i’d do without her).

later that day

we just had

to get out of the

house, so armed with

a bottle of

hand sanitizer and

a pair of sunglasses

we visited an

art show downtown,

then stopped at

olvera street in

an attempt to get

maddy to ride

the famous donkey.

it didn’t take

too much convincing

this time.

by mid-week

i was on a plane

and headed to

seattle to attend,

speak and represent

the liz logelin foundation

at the

national bereavement camp conference.

i know, i know,

it sounds awful, right?

well, dealing with

childhood bereavement

is not something

anyone really wants to

address, but it’s

a pretty major part

of my life and

i have to admit

it was great

to meet with

representatives of several

organizations who have

done so much to

help children grieving

in the wake

of a death of someone

close to them

(and the companies that fund these organizations).

much of the conference

focused on the grief

camps that make such a

huge difference in

the lives of these kids.

maddy’s a bit to

young to attend, but

i have a feeling

she may attend one

of these camps when

she’s a bit older.

though the word,

“motivational” that’s

used to described

speakers in these settings

doesn’t at all

apply to me,

people seemed okay

with the fact that i

simply got up and

told them the story

that has

defined a good portion

of my life over the

last few years

rather than throw

out a bunch

of catchphrases

and one-liners

for them to write down.

(well, at least no one booed me).

i also got to

read from my

book in front of

a bunch of people

at third place books.

(which just happens to be an awesome book store).

it was fucking rad

to see some old

friends like

amy l., john s., abby c., cassie d., rachel l.

and especially one of

liz’s

best friend’s from college, annie b.

there were

also some long-time

blog readers and lots

of new friends.

the reading went

well, with lots of

awesome questions from

the audience, as well as a

few tales of

inspiration and

at least one really

giant (and unexpected) donation

to the liz logelin foundation.

a bunch

of us went out

for dinner afterward

in order to

catch up and

enjoy some of

seattle’s nightlife.

(really wish amy l. could have made it, but she’s about to give birth, so wish her luck).

the next day

was another day

at the conference

then a night

on the town

with a couple of

friends who

just left los angeles

for seattle, and

the bastard, who flew

up for the weekend.

along with the arrival

of saturday morning,

came brooke she flew

up for her

first visit to the

city, and more specifically

to have lunch with

my friend, allison.

(maddy got a weekend with her auntie debbie).

before meeting up for

lunch, we met up

with the bastard

for a walk

around the touristy

section of seattle.

eventually it was

time for lunch

so we headed back

up the hill to

meet up with allison.

allison brought her sister

liz along for

the afternoon,

and the two

of them became quick

friends with brooke.

we spent much of

the afternoon laughing, walking

and getting lost

on our way to

the next shopping spot.

(it was nice of the girls to let me hang out with them).

i even bought a

couple of things, one

of which you’ll

see later in the post.

after exhausting most of

the shopping opportunities

in the area, we

said goodbye to

allison and liz, promising

to come visit again soon.

that night, we met

up with the recent

seattle transplants,

john and heather,

along with the bastard

for a ferry ride

(ummm…check out my awesome new sweater).

and dinner on

bainbridge island.

back on the

ferry after dinner,

it was photo time

and finally, a trip

to the space needle

(i just had to do it).

the next day

we were on

a flight back to

los angeles, eager

to see madeline.

while we were in

the air,

she spent her

afternoon at the beach swinging

with her auntie deb

and dawn, getting dragged

around by dawn’s dog, cody.

we met them at home

a few hours

later, at which time

i presented maddy

with the present

she requested from

our trip…

an umbrella.

(love that kid).

(oh, and thanks to everyone for the awesome seattle recommendations…we’re definitely going to have to visit again since we know so many people in the city, and because we didn’t get to do everything we wanted to do).

jumped on a plane

for our yearly

trip to akumal, mexico with

liz’s

dad’s side of

the family

(including us, i think it was 28 people)

this was maddy’s

fourth trip

(or fifth, if you include the time we flew from mexico to chicago to meet oprah, then flew back to mexico to finish up our trip)

to akumal.

during each of her

previous visits, she

as a little too little

to really enjoy

it, so i was excited to

be visiting the

place with an older,

more excitable madeline.

we were greeted

at the airport by

grandpa tom and grandma candee

(auntie debbie couldn’t make it for this trip)

and then drove the

1.5 hours down

to our hotel.

it wasn’t until

the next day

that maddy realized

where we were,

but once she did,

i knew that it

was going to

be nearly impossible to

get her away from

the water.

she even ate

her lunch

and relaxed by

the pool

while she napped with

grandma candee,

tom, brooke and i

went to the ya-kul lagoon

and did a

little snorkeling.

i was eager to

do so because

i was excited to

use the christmas

gift that

tom and candee

bought for me…

an water-proof bag

for my camera.

well, brooke’s camera.

she was kind enough

to let me test

the bag out on

her camera

before i risked mine

(she’s so kind).

after our snorkeling trip,

we went back

to our hotel

and found maddy

and grandma candee

–where else?–

a the pool.

maddy was playing with

all of her

little cousins

around her age.

interactions with children

around this age

are pretty hilarious,

and maddy’s interactions

with her cousin are

no different.

she seems to

have inherited

my cousin josh’s love

of giving

people nicknames,

calling her

cousin robin, “robbery”

(which had me laughing pretty fucking hard the whole trip).

…

the next day maddy

stayed with her

grandparents while brooke

and i drove north

to meet some friends

for an afternoon

of zip lining through

the jungle

then into a cenote

neither brooke nor i

had ever done something

like this before

but we enjoyed

the hell out of

it, even though i

have dislike

of heights and brooke

has a general fear

of just about everything.

we made it back

to akumal in time

to see the moon rise

and for a late dinner

with the entire family.

…

on sunday we visited

the pre-columbian mayan

ruins of coba.

i had been here

years before,

with tom and

liz,

and i was excited

to be bring madeline

to the place for

the first time.

i remembered everything

about the place,

from the way the road

wound to the

left past the lake with

the crocodiles,

to the stories that

the guide told

us about the sites inside.

…

i never get sick

or reexploring these

places, especially

for madeline.

…

i watched as she

did a little exploring

then did a

little exploration of

our own

then got a

little ride,

stopping along the way

to see some ruins

and take some photos

we finally arrived

at the nohoch mul pyramid.

maddy insisted

on joining us

on our trip

to the top

i was hopeful that

she’d walk

most of the way,

but quickly

realized that she’d

never make it up

all 120 steps,

so about a quarter

of the way up

i picked her

up and carried her

the rest of the way.

i needed a long

rest when we

got to the top

because i knew

i had to carry

her back down,

which would be far

more difficult than

the ascent.

by the time we

descended all 138 feet

of the pyramid,

my legs were

shaking and i

was thankful that

someone else would

be peddling us back

to the entrance.

after a great

lunch with the

other family members

who joined us

for the trip,

we headed back

to akumal.

maddy spent a little

time playing on

the beach

before we headed

to my favorite

bar in the world

for a snack and

some swinging.

it was very cool

to be back in

the spot that held

so many memories

for me.

last year i was

sitting at a table

on the beach

working on my book.

the year before that

i was wathing aj

sing some karaokee

and for years

before that,

i spent countless

hours here with

liz.

…

the next day,

our last full day

in akumal,

we headed back

to the ya-kul lagoon.

it turns out brooke

really, really

likes to snorkel.

on our earlier visit

to the lagoon,

it took her about 15

minutes to

get in the water

because she was

a little frightened

of the fish

(i had to remind her that the fish were the whole reason we chose to snorkel there).

it didn’t help

that we were teasing

her a bit

about crocodiles and

huge, woman-eating fish

as she stood on

the banks…

but this time,

she jumped right in.

(one of my favorite things about brooke is that she will go to incredible lengths to conquer her fears…but don’t tell her i paid her that compliment).

maddy also wanted

to get in on

the action, and

even though she’s a

little too young

to understand how to

use the snorkeling gear,

she was pretty

damn cute sight

to see

maddy hung out with

her grandparents

while we explored

the lagoon

eventually madeline

need to be warmed up

so we headed

back to our hotel.

but as soon

as we got back,

madeline was ready

to get into the pool.

my vacations used

to be all about adventure

and exploration,

but with madeline

i find myself mixing

adventure with time

spent sitting

on the beach or

at the pool, listening

to her laugh,

watching her

enjoy her life.

and that’s more fun than

i imagined it would be.

…

the next day

we were on our

way back to los angeles.

maddy didn’t

get a nap in,

and she was

more than a little

sad to be saying

goodbye to her

grandparents so

i was anticipating a

rather long

and difficult

flight home, but

somehow we end up

with this:

i can’t begin to

tell you how incredibly

lucky brooke

and i felt, especially

because this is the

first time she’s

actually slept on a

plane in a very, very

long time.

…

the night after

returning to

los angeles,

i met up with

some friends to

see another of

my favorite bands

play at one of

my favorite venues

in the city.

haven’t been to a

concert in months.

i was

exhausted, but i’m damn

happy i didn’t skip it,

even though this

was my view the

entire night:

took a short

trip to istanbul

while maddy

stayed with the grandparents.

why istanbul?

well, neither one

of us had been

there, and it sounded

like a nice

place to spend a

few days.

i could write

a whole

bunch about the

trip, but i think

the photos

tell the story much

better than i could.

so, without too

many interruptions,

here’s our trip…

day 1:

day 2:

day 3:

day 4:

day 5:

and just like that,

it was over.

we were back

on a flight

to los angeles

(via amsterdam and seattle).

…

i was home for

fewer than

18 hours

than i was

off to the mn

to pick up maddy

from the grandparents.

…

not gonna lie,

it was nice to

get a break,

but i missed her

more than i

could possibly describe.

and hearing her yell,

“daddy! i missed you!”

in her little voice

was about the

greatest thing i have

ever heard.

…

we had a day

and a half

together in the mn

and then it was back

on the plane

to our home.

and yeah.

by the time

our travels were over,

it was january 8th,

but maddy still

had one christmas

yet to celebrate:

(i can’t for her to start using that mop).

a night in

a hotel we’d

been to once before,

just for tea

after a long

day of sightseeing,

but still a memory.

this time

we were actually

staying there.

maddy was a crying mess

when we arrived,

drooling and flailing,

turning the heads

of a giant group

of german tourists.

i recognized a

couple of them

from earlier today,

and realized that they

were part of the

same group of

people who watched

as maddy crawled

across the cold ground

of fatehpur sikri.

and i recognized

her behavior as

the telltale signs

of a teething baby.

couldn’t help but

think things

were going to be

disastrous over the next

few days…

we had a rather

tight schedule,

lots of places to

visit, things to

see, and trying to

do them with a

baby acting the way

madeline was

seemed about as

appealing as puncturing

my eardrums with

a pencil.

but the way that

maddy was screaming,

i figured i’d be

deaf soon

enough anyway.

we got checked in,

and had a nice

dinner during which

madeline was calm,

and for the

first time on

our trip,

she chose rachel’s

lap over mine.

the ladies went

to sleep,

while i caught up

with the family

via video chat,

then wrote until

it was almost time

for us to

start our day.

everyone was up

before sunrise,

and excited for the day.

even madeline,

though she

had no idea

what she was about

to see.

our guide and

our driver

were waiting

for us, and

as i shook the guide’s

hand, i remembered him.

at the same

time he reminded me

that we

had been with him before.

standing there,

just outside the

hotel, i had to tell

him about

liz.

figured that was

better than

him wondering all

day why i was here

with a

liz

clone and a

woman who quite obviously

wasn’t the woman he met

three years earlier.

a moment

i hadn’t anticipated.

we were in

the car for a

few minutes before

arriving at

the drop point.

from that spot

we took a pollution-free

vehicle up to

the gates.

(last time we took a camel)

the two previous

times i’d been here,

once with

liz,

and once with

my mom,

the lines were shorter

than it was that day.

but we were

there to

see the place

at sunrise.

and so was

everyone else in agra.

rachel’s line,

(yeah, one for women and one for men)

moved faster

than ours,

so she was

able to get

a couple of shots

of us getting frisked.

finding no

food items

or weapons on

madeline, they

allowed us in.

having the same

guide ensured that

we started off the

tour in the exact same

way the previous

tours had started

so instead

of listening

to him,

i walked with maddy,

letting her explore

the place.

soon it was

time to

go inside.

when i was here with

liz,

i can still

remember the way

she reacted when

she first saw

the place from here:

we kept walking,

pushing past hoards

of tourists

until we finally

made it inside.

the place is

pretty fucking magnificent

no matter what

time of day

you visit,

but sunrise makes the

building look

almost purple

(so get up early and take in the sunrise).

maddy seemed in

awe of place,

just like her

mom.

we kept pushing,

making it to the front

so our guide

could take a

few proper photos

before turning the

camera over to me.

after the photos

we moved on

to a less

busy part of

the place,

the guide picking up

where he left off

three years earlier.

again, rachel listened

intently while

i wandered with madeline.

the other awesome

thing about our

guide is that

he has us stop

for photos in

the exact same places

each time.

he didn’t have the

same motivations that

i did,

instead he just

has a script in

his head that

includes taking the

same touristy shots

no matter who

he’s with.

more walking,

more photographs.

then a seat

more photos

(my green shirt helps me blend in with the bushes).

then…

time for a

diaper change.

we stopped in

another spot,

the spot where

liz

heard the story,

and said the words

that have inspired

me to do what

i do everyday

(i’ll be discussing my visit here with liz in greater depth in my book).

rachel listened

to that same story

while i walked with

madeline.

i just couldn’t

listen to it.

not this time.

tired of walking,

she decided she

was ready

to go in the backpack,

but she drew

a crowd before i

could get her

on my back.

we kept moving.

maddy tried to

do something about

the pain she

felt in her mouth

while i remembered.

we got close

to the mausoleum

itself, and had

to put on

some shoe covers.

rachel has had

to do a lot

of things she

didn’t anticipate during

this trip,

but i may have

crossed a line with her

this time.

as always,

more photos

(comparing the old photos to the new ones makes me really happy i bought that wide-angle lens).

madeline loves a

lot of things in

this world.

one of her favorites

is screaming

(mostly with joy).

she especially loves

screaming in places

where she can

hear her screams echo.

as it turns out,

mausoleums are great

echo chambers,

but not the kind

of place where

children should be screaming.

so i rushed

us out of

the place

while rachel spent

some time with

our guide.

of course,

the screaming stopped

once we got outside,

and she wanted

out of the backpack.

we caught up with

rachel and our guide,

and let madeline

play for a while.

then a short rest

for me.

(i’m getting old).

we kept walking,

heading toward the mosque.

before we got

there, madeline stopped

to meet some friends.

we headed in

and did a

little exploring.

i went back outside

for a few more photos

(you can barely see us in the photos, but we’re there).

then i ordered

rachel to remove

my shoe covers.

somewhere along the

way, maddy passed

out in the backpack,

which made

for a great photo op.

then we made our

way to the

exit and headed

to the next place,

a place i visited

with my mom,

but not with

liz.

we drove through

the streets

of agra,

we arrived, but

before going inside

i had to snap

a few photos.

just inside the

gates of the place,

maddy did what

she’s been

doing during much

of the trip…

she enjoyed

the cold ground.

i stayed outside

with madeline.

while rachel walked

through the tomb with

our guide.

while they were

inside, madeline

got a little

too close to a

monkey and screamed

when it hissed

at her.

it was one of the

first times in

her life that

i’ve seen a genuine

look of terror

on her face.

she jumped into

my arms,

then yelled,

“rayel.”

so yeah,

we went looking

for rachel.

we played for

a bit,

(maddy successfully removed one of the hair ties)

then went inside

to check the

place out.

then for some

reason maddy pointed

toward the monkeys,

suggesting that we

go see them again.

not one to torture

my child,

i tried to

explain to her that

monkeys are mean,

but she didn’t

care, and insisted

we go see them.

this time

she stayed in

my arms,

and enjoyed watching

them swing from

tree-to-tree

and run around.

the guide went out

of his way to

demonstrate his child

rearing skills

and madeline demonstrated

that she likes

rachel more than me.

rachel snapped this

gem of a

photo on the way

out of the place.

back in the car,

we drove past

a religious procession.

after a little

shopping, we took

a short walk

around the town.

then it was back

in the car,

and off to our

last site of

the day.

we were here.

it was the same

day that we

visited fatehpur sikri,

and it was

hot as hell.

today, it was

hot, but nothing

like that day.

(tip…visit north india in the winter).

we took a

couple of photos

before heading inside.

maddy was excited

to be running on

her own

but soon wanted

to be back

in my arms

she met some friends

then got shy.

we made our way

into the next room

and some time

playing while

rachel and the guide

continued talking.

the exploring continued…

we stopped in

a spot where

she

once was.

this one was

tough for

me for some reason.

but soon

i was laughing

again as

i performed another

diaper change

in front of another

historical place.

we took a few

more photos

before leaving the place.

happiness.

relief.

nothing more to

see that day,

so we made our

way back to the hotel

for dinner.

maddy and rachel

went to bed

early, anticipating our

early morning car ride

the next day.

i stayed up

late again,

writing about

the memories that this

trip brought

back to life.

at 5:00

the next morning

we were back

in the car,

sleeping our

way toward delhi.

i woke in time

to take a

couple of photos.

6 hours after

leaving agra

we were on

a plane, flying

toward another

country and more memories.

1.5 hours later,

we’d touch down

in kathmandu, nepal,

the place where

i asked

liz

to marry me.

after almost a

month in the south

of india,

i decided that we

needed to take a

short trip up north

to see some

of things that

everyone should

see when visiting india.

besides, i had

to comply with

rachel’s thinly-veiled threat,

“i’m not coming to india and not seeing the taj mahal.”

no arm twisting

needed because i wanted

to take maddy up

there anyway,

so i made

plans for us to

go away for

ten days.

we headed to the

airport where maddy made a

couple of friends

during our 1.5 hour delay.

she then passed out

for the 3+ hour

flight to delhi,

madeline’s 26th

round-trip flight.

we spent one

night at a

hotel in delhi,

and early the next

morning we were

in the car

and on the road to jaipur.

i spent most

of the trip

shooting photos

through the window

while maddy alternated

between sleep

and trying to

wriggle out of

her car seat.

rachel and i

did our best

to distract her

by telling her to

look at the:

cows,

camels,

and elephants.

(and she used to think our commute to daycare in los angeles was exciting).

after dropping

our stuff off

at our hotel in jaipur,

we drove around

the city

and stopped at

a temple

and maddy slept in

the car, under the

watchful eye

of our driver, daniel.

we drove around

some more,

stopping for photographs

whenever we saw

something interesting.

maddy did a

little artwork

and a lot of shopping.

it was now

dark but none

of us were

tired so we asked

the driver to drop

us off in the

old part of jaipur

so that we could

wander around.

we met lots

of new friends

and of course,

did some more shopping.

just outside of

our hotel was the

floating palace,

which looked

really awesome at night.

and inside was

some live entertainment.

maddy and rachel

went to bed

and i spent

the rest of the evening

working on my book.

early the next

morning we were back

in the car

and on our

way to the amber fort

a place i’d visited

with my mom

back in 2006.

as we stood in

line for our ride,

maddy got really excited

watching the parade

of close to 100

elephants making their

way up

and down

the path to the fort.

we finally got

on the back

of our vehicle,

headed to the top

on elephant #40

maddy decided she’d

rather get back on

the elephant

than do some site-seeing.

she fought it

a little bit,

but i

i won the battle.

we walked with

our guide, learning

a lot about the place,

while taking in

all of the sites.

after insisting on

being carried around

for the first third

of the visit,

maddy decided

that she wanted

to walk around

on her own.

eventually i

had to revoke

her freedoms because

she didn’t use

them responsibly.

she was pretty pissed.

with madeline now

in the backpack,

we continued

our tour through

the fort

after our trip

to the fort, we drove

to the jantar mantar

astronomical and astrological observatory.

maddy once again

drew quite

a crowd.

we then wakled

across the street

to the city palace.

maddy slept most

of the way

through the trip

waking up in time

to see me purchase

the third greatest

painting of all-time.

we made a quick

stop at the hawa mahal

for a few photos.

after a short

nap for madeline,

we went out

for dinner,

during which madeline

decided that she

should be part

of the performance.

she was a lot

sleepy after

all the dancing

so we headed back

to the hotel

so the girls

could get

a little

sleep before leaving

for agra early

the next morning.

i spent the night,

once again,

trying to write

a book that

i hope

madeline will

someday be very

proud of.

the trip to

india has really helped

stir the emotions

that get the words flowing.

as far as our

10 day trip goes,

tonight marked the

end of the easy part.

the rest of the

trip would be

filled with memories of

liz.

no complaining on

my end.

i put myself

in this position.

but i didn’t

do this just for me.

i’m also doing this for

madeline.

(parts ii and iii coming when i get some time).

the taj mahal was

her playground.

and i couldn’t

have been more thrilled

to see the smile

on her face,

as she ran

around, screaming

for joy.

we

walked here,

in the same place

you now stand,

through a uttar pradeshian summer,

the two of

us,

hand-in-hand until

we could no longer.

still we walked

near one another,

separated by it,

yet kept close

because of it.

we learned about this

place, hearing how it

and a lack of water

drove them

from here.

we both understood

then, why otherwise

rational human beings

would leave behind

years of hard work and

forgo such beauty;

it was the same

reason we let go

of one another.

the wind

blowing in from

the desert,

bringing with it

that heat…

heat that feels

like a

hair dryer blowing in

your face while

you stand in

a sauna.

but today,

we, you and me,

we stand here.

summer is

over, and that heat,

that heat

is gone.

but i can still

feel it,

and it is

something i’ll revel

in until i can

no longer feel.

and you.

you feel her.

i’m sure of it,

because i can

see her in

you.

the smile on

your face,

the way you

hold my hand,

and the way you

let it go…

so walk where

we walked,

stand where

she stood

and together,

we will feel

something.

i’ve mentioned a few

times, some of

the reasons why

we’re here.

and though you

may be a little

too young to

remember everything

that you’re seeing

and doing,

this is still an

invaluable trip for

you.

you’re taking things in.

you’re learning.

you’re discovering.

and you’re here

with me.

in a place i

need to be,

helping me.

so yeah.

i guess you could

say that this

trip is mostly

for me,

your selfish father,

and that’s kinda true.

i needed this,

and i needed it

at this time,

and i needed

you.

but…

we will

come back here,

as often as

you want,

as you grow up,

when you can

take a break

from your busy

teenage and adult lives

(i don’t want to get in the way).

’cause there’s no

such thing as

a once in

a lifetime trip.

and that’s the

beauty of this.

we have the rest

of our lives

to visit and revisit,

and we’ll do it

so you can

feel what i feel,

so i can

feel what you feel.

so we.

so we can feel

what we felt,

before this

we existed.

that’s my pledge to

you.

so this trip?

what are we

doing? well, that’s

best summarized

by the words

of d.b.

“i remember her

and i remember him

i remember them

i remember then

i’m just rememberin’

i’m just rememberin’

just rememberin’

i’m just rememberin’”

so the other night

we to dinner at

your mom’s favorite

restaurant in bangalore.

a fancy vietnamese

place at an

even fancier hotel.

she

used to hang

out here

while she waited

for me to

finish my work day.

it was nice

to walk in

that night, and

see another reminder

of her…

her favorite flowers.

they were the

flowers she chose

for our wedding.

i can still

smell them

when i think

of that day.

and she used to

buy them from the

farmer’s market every week,

and bring them

home to make our

place look less

like a record store

and more like

a place someone

called home.

she loved the way

they looked,

and especially the

way they smelled.

and so did i.

funny thing is…

i am so damn

allergic to those flowers.

i dealt with

them, ’cause i knew

how much

she

loved them.

but believe me,

i complained about

them every chance

i got.