exactly one year later, madeline had her first dance with him.

(liz so would have rolled her eyes at this shot).

(proper update coming soon..i have some really great news to share).

as i should have

heading into a weekend

in the las vegas.

that was stupid,

and i knew it.

got madeline up

and played with her

a little too long,

taking a bunch of photos,

(elvis glasses/baseball courtesy of louis z. from the mn).

which sort of made

me an hour late.

but i didn’t

give a shit.

knowing that i was

going to be away

from her for three nights

nearly made me

cancel my trip.

i didn’t cancel my trip though.

i knew it was good

for both of us.

got everything packed

up, including the robot

who will be hanging

in my trunk most

of the weekend.

dropped madeline off at

the house of gentle ben

and patient dana

(she’s so patient to deal with ben’s misspellings and terrible sense of humor).

it took dana a few

minutes to pry my little

smiler from my arms,

but i finally relented,

giving maddy two

kisses on her cheek

with the hope she

wouldn’t forget me while

i was gone.

jumped in the car and

i was off.

so why vegas?

well, a late bachelor party

for my friend richard p.

who got married

then told us about it later.

and an invitation from lauren f.

to join her and some

friends a day early

for an hbo party at the

playboy club.

nothing like serendipity.

the drive was mostly nice.

drove past the

city of claremont.

that’s the city in which

i spent

a ton of my

weekends and vacations

from 1996-2000,

the place where

liz

went to college.

my mind was

blank the rest of

the drive.

got to the las vegas

surprisingly fast,

i think the music helped.

parked near this

awesome vehicle

and made sure the

robot got to taste america.

checked into my

free room at the palms

(thanks, pia from hbo!)

and sat down at the

bar for a drink

by myself,

watching some football.

the drive, plus my two

hours at the bar

were the longest i’ve

been alone

since my last

flight to the india.

it was weird.

no baby.

no friends.

no strangers friends

no family.

just me.

lauren, talia and priscilla

arrived at the bar

and we all headed

upstairs to the club.

it certainly wasn’t what

i expected.

it was rather tame.

then i walked into

the bathroom.

later (as reported earlier).

we saw michael phelps.

he likes to touch

the ladies,

and he wanted

to see priscilla leave.

finally had enough

of big guys shining lights

in our eyes,

so we headed to some

other place before

heading to bed.

***friday***

woke up early,

looked out the window

and saw this:

just shook my head.

met the ladies

for a little breakfast.

talked about the

events of the previous evening

and learned that

mr. gold medal’s

behavior was already

being discussed all

over the internet.

awesome.

the ladies had to leave

for the airport

and i had to

check into my

next hotel room.

before saying goodbye,

the ladies took a photo

with the robot.

i drove over to another

hotel and attempted

to check in.

turns out i was at

the wrong place.

went to the right

place and found out

that i couldn’t check

in yet.

too bad, ’cause i

really needed a nap.

decided that i should

go do something

fun while i waited

for the dudes

to arrive this evening.

drove around trying

to decide what to do?

found my answer

on the side of

a bus…

i’m gonna head to

the liberace museum.

it was smaller than

i imagined, but

twice as awesome.

just look…

skipped out on

the lunch

(it just sounded too creepy)

but did pick

up a few gifts for josh.

then i asked some

lady if i could

bring the robot into

the museum for

a few photographs.

she allowed the robot

into the gift shop, but

no where near

the costumes.

i did, however, get her to

pose with the robot.

then i got her

to take a

photo of me.

she even suggested

a specific location

for part of the

photo shoot…

(she was too kind).

then i stopped in

the parking lot

to get a couple more

photos with the robot.

then i drove around

a little longer,

taking a few more photos.

finally, it was back

to the hotel

to wait for everyone

to arrive.

called ben and dana

while i waited.

heard that all was

well and that madeline

was staying out

of trouble.

they even held the

phone up to madeline’s ear

so i could talk to her.

dana said she smiled

when she heard my voice.

that made me feel good.

they finally showed up,

but who are they?

chris m. and richard p.

are guys i knew in college

and mark m. is a dude

i’ve known since 5th grade

(we were in school together all the way through college).

we decided to take

richard out for a

nice dinner.

ran into michael phelps again,

this time he was better behaved.

(he spent most of his night, nose buried in his phone and his dinner plate)

had a great meal

then headed out for

a few drinks.

eventually found myself

watching mark at

the craps table at 9:00am.

it was time

to go bed.

***saturday***

woke up late

skipped a day

in the sun,

at the pool

in favor of

an afternoon of napping

and watching

the dodgers game

in the hotel room.

had a nice dinner

with rich then

got ready for the evening

and lost a few dollars

at the blackjack table

(it lasted less than an hour).

called ben and dana

again to see how my

favorite daughter was doing.

i was assured that she was

still doing great.

met up with stranger friend kathy and her husband

for a drink

(they bought! thanks, guys).

talked to these mn natives

for about 45 mins

about what it’s

like to live in the las vegas.

said goodbye

and headed out to some

fancy club with a waterfall.

i got dressed up

as usual

and enjoyed a great evening.

walked through the casino

in our hotel and realized

just how many

slot machines had

7s in them.

had a cheeseburger

at 6:30am then

went to bed around

8:00am.

***sunday***

woke up at 10:00,

packed up and said

goodbye to mark

and chris.

took richard to the

airport, both of us

vowing not to

come back to

this place for at least 5 years.

from the airport

i jumped back on

the 15 north

toward home, stopping along

the way to

get a few photos.

drove for what seemed

like forever,

watching the clouds

to help me stay awake.

stopped to see the

world’s tallest thermometer

and saw another sign.

.

was thinking a lot about

liz.

on the rest of the

drive home.

then some songs came

on via the randomness

of my ipod.

listened to these songs

on repeat

for the next two hours.

they’re from the album

i was playing on my laptop

when the nurse entered

the room to take

liz

to see madeline.

this song was half

over when i paused it that day.

i left it paused

for a little more

than two weeks,

the computer plugged in

so i wouldn’t lose

my place.

not sure why i

bothered, but it’s like

i wanted to preserve

that last moment

before things went

to shit.

***back to reality***

made it to the place

maddy had been

hanging out all weekend.

rang the doorbell

and found gentle ben

holding my baby.

she saw me and smiled.

that was awesome.

she must have

recognized the bags

under my eyes.

stole her from ben and

held her above

my head.

got drooled on me for

the first time since

thursday.

never thought i’d enjoy

that so much.

before heading home

we did a little photo

session with the robot.

ben gave me

the photo that he took

of madeline on saturday.

madeline said goodbye

to everyone and we drove home.

we hung out together

for a few hours.

i was amazed at how

much bigger she looked

and how much longer

her hair seemed.

i feel like i missed

so much by being

gone for three days.

it’s good practice though.

that return-to-work date

is approaching quickly.

i’ll be missing a lot

more soon enough.

put madeline in

her new chair and noticed that

her little fingers

are working more than

ever before.

she seems to be aware that

they’re there and that

they can be used

as something other

than a teething toy.

i put an actual teething toy

just out of her reach.

i watched her grab it,

putting the thing

in her mouth.

it may seem minor,

but it was huge to me.

another milestone in a lifetime

of events that

her mom will

never see.

i felt like shit

for a few minutes

then realized how

fortunate i’ve been to

have witnessed as much

as i have.

first of all, this could not have happened without the nice people at spreadshirt: Jana, Holly, Jesse, and everyone else that helped us get this up and running, thank you, thank you.

so, without further ado…

Welcome to the Garden of Awesome

(for the obama fans out there… check out page two)

–

update – just finished with Back to School night, I’ll be adding a few more iterations of the shirts — kids, toddlers and a couple womens and mens that i forgot to copy…

update update — it was spreadshirt that did the nice design over at the shop, so thanks go to them. also, i forgot to mention that this is aj posting here… you’ll know it’s me in the the future because I tend to put one or two sentences together in each paragraph.

as opposed to matt.

anyway, send some comments if i missed any more iterations on the shirts… also, check the back of the <strike>stranger</strike> t-shirt

***saturday***

these last 1.5 weeks

have been a real blur.

the strangeness of being

in this empty

house has not yet

gone away.

less than 24 hours

after arriving here

from the banff,

we were off again,

headed to the orange county.

adam, katie and dylan

picked us up and we

headed south to visit

our buds chris and monica.

dylan and madeline hung

out together

while 5 of us

had a great night,

laughing the entire time,

recounting tales of

liz

at work and not at work.

we stayed in the

orange county for

the night.

i learned that chris

sucks at beer pong.

i’m even worse.

adam is the champion.

***sunday***

hung out until

the late morning.

monica made heart-shaped waffles.

some of us ate them.

we said goodbye

then sat in traffic

until tuesday.

well, it seemed like

it was tuesday when

we finally got home.

hung out around the

house for a few

hours, napping our

way through the rest

of the afternoon.

in the evening we met up

with cara at amoeba

(madeline and i missed new release day last tuesday).

we didn’t find

any new releases worth buying,

but we did buy

some records that

sounded new to us.

ran into my favorite

amoeba employee, who

takes such great interest

in how we both are doing

(she’s amazing…a hipster/record store employee that doesn’t hate babies!).

later we had

dinner with cara

at a mexican restaurant

in the hollywood.

maddy and i went home

and went to bed early.

***monday***

we celebrated birthday

week 21/52 by not

doing anything.

it was great.

***tuesday***

stupid tuesday.

had lunch with anya.

driving to the atwater

village, i looked down at

liz’s

odometer.

her lucky number.

i was with her over

12 years and had no

idea she had a lucky

number until she landed

in the hospital

on bed rest.

one night in that hospital room,

anya sitting with us,

she pointed out

all the 7s

that were in her life.

then she found out

she was in room #7.

she thought that

was a good

sign for madeline.

after giving birth,

she was moved to a

different room.

not 7, 17, or 27.

something else.

it doesn’t matter.

by then her fears had

subsided a bit.

madeline was out

and doing well.

i hadn’t thought

of our lucky number

discussion until i was in

liz’s

car with anya and madeline.

when i saw the odometer,

i yelled something

and pulled over.

i think anya was

worried about me.

then i pointed to the odometer.

she said something

that i’ve since forgotten.

i took a photo,

then continued driving.

we had a great lunch,

then later i stopped by

the bank.

picked up a few

more packages from strangers friends.

then we went to amoeba

again and picked up

a couple of new releases.

the rest of the day

was quiet and boring.

i hate tuesdays.

***wednesday***

got a call in the morning

telling me that it

was time

to pick up my car.

i dropped madeline in

her stroller

and we walked through

the glendale,

past a phone that

that must have

delivered some bad news

.

we got to the

auto body shop to find

my car looking better

than ever,

and washed for the first time

in 11 months.

thank you, hit-and-run driver.

back in business.

i felt a little

better knowing that

liz’s

car and a whole

lot of sadness

would be parked,

but parked in

their usual spot

just outside my picture window.

now it was time for

an adventure.

i packed up madeline and

the robot and headed to

the van nuys to have dinner

with two very rad

strangers friends who

have been a significant

source of laughter

and support…

lindsay d. from the mpls.

(mother of carter the robot-drawing wonder kid)

and k8 from the northridge.

we decided that we should

meet up for some food.

we arrived at the same time

and walked from the

parking lot talking

like old friends.

we sat inside waiting

for lindsay d. to arrive,

both having a beer.

the waitress let us know

that someone called in

and paid for the round.

but who was it?

k8 solved the mystery.

it was christa from the valencia.

fucking rad.

love when people pay for

drinks from a remote location.

learned that lindsay d.

wasn’t going to be

able to make it,

so we carried on without

her, ordering some food

and continuing to talk.

after dinner it was

to the parking lot where

k8 met the love of

her life.

it was awesome to finally

meet k8 but

i must say that she

got a little handsy

with my robot.

madeline and i went home

and went to bed early,

exhausted from a

long, long day.

***thursday***

went to the anaheim

to see the twins

play the angels

for madeline’s fourth

mlb game in her

fourth different stadium.

picked up auntie angel fan

and her friend missi

and headed to the stadium.

i talked shit to the

angel fans in the car,

letting them know that

madeline’s team has won

every game for which

she’s been present.

auntie angel fan scoffed.

i bet her $5 that madeline’s

magic would continue.

we got to the

stadium and took some photos.

then we got inside

and got accosted by

some team employees handing out

the enemy’s colors.

we had a fancy dinner

(no hotdogs for these fancy ladies)

and then made our way

to our seats.

auntie angel fan

scored us some awesome seats…

5th row behind the twins dugout.

her brother the angel fan

was waiting for us.

now i’m feeling a

little outnumbered.

got some great photos

of the action

while madeline talked her

own shit.

i looked over at my baby…

she looked like she

had the spins…

i think

i know what’s about

to happen.

then she did what i

hoped she’d do…

she spit up all over

auntie angel fan’s

angels jersey.

so awesome.

if you recall, she did the

same thing last time

auntie angel fan was wearing

that jersey.

the funny thing is, madeline

doesn’t spit up all

that often.

hmmm…

after that,

madeline was very happy.

later, auntie angel fan

whisked her away

changing madeline out

of her twins onesie,

obviously hoping to

kill the luck maddy

brings to her team.

i don’t think it’s

gonna work.

i fed madeline

then, with the game

tied 1-1, auntie angel fan

pulled another dirty trick…

it didn’t work.

the twins one the

game in the 12th inning.

so, so awesome.

madeline’s now 4 for 4 and

someone owes me $5.

after the game we

took a few photos,

then walked toward the

exit.

i realized at some

point that i

left my new lens

in the cupholder

of my seat.

shit.

it has to be gone.

i ran back to my seat

and sure enough,

it was.

then i heard a guy

yelling,

“hey!”

i looked up and he

was holding my lens.

i ran up the stairs and

he handed it to me.

i said thanks,

he said,

“no problem…i don’t think you want to leave this one behind.”

no doubt about it.

nice to run into

another nice human.

caught up with the ladies

and walked out to the car.

opened up the

trunk to get something

and saw the robot staring at me.

decided that we should

do a quick photo shoot

as we waited for the

parking lot to clear out.

dropped the fans

of the losing team

off at diane’s condo

and drove home.

a great night,

a night that

liz

would have loved.

family and friends

at the baseball stadium.

so happy we’re

doing these things,

and that we have

good friends

with whom we

can share them.

***friday***

got a visit

strangers friends

jeanine from the co

and her kids

stopped by on their

way to visit some family.

they brought a

ton of gifts

for madeline

and of course

spent a little time

with the robot.

after they left

i spent the daylight hours

hanging out with madeline

while she was awake

and working on my

photo book while she

was asleep.

in the evening we caught

up with bob and anna

for a little dinner

at the soul food restaurant

in the eagle rock.

ran into another

coworker and his wife

who have a baby.

promised them that

we’d catch up soon

and that i’d shoot them

the info for the parent’s group

i hang with on tuesdays.

went home after dinner

and looked

through all the photos

i’ve taken over the past 3 years.

stayed up until 6:00am

sorting through memories.

then i thought about

anniversary #2.

i still can’t remember what

the fuck we did

when i lost

liz

i lost my

back-up memory.

it fucking sucks.